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May 12, 2026

Wise-assery

by David M Willis on June 12, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance
└ Tags: jennifer, walky

Discussion (215) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    June 12, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    or “having sex”??

    • RevenantBacon
      RevenantBacon
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Or “studying”?

      • EvilPenguin
        EvilPenguin
        June 12, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        For Sal that’s the same thing.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          June 12, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

          Poor Danny…

          • Corey
            Corey
            June 12, 2014 at 7:18 pm | #

            Lucky Danny….

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      or “robbing the bank”

      • GoldStarz
        GoldStarz
        June 12, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

        Maybe a convenience store…

      • newllend
        newllend
        June 12, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

        Or doing all fucking three.

      • Robert
        Robert
        June 12, 2014 at 1:52 am | #

        Because “Roller Derby” is easier to put into quotes than “I heard she and a bunch of the shortpacked cast bought beer at a walmart, then drank it even though they are underage and then proceeded to beat up amazi-girl while making her feel bad until the sun came up.”

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 12, 2014 at 3:22 am | #

          [in all seriousness, that’s most likely what Sal told her, because fuck tryna explain that all when you just wanna crash, and of course Billie doesn’t believe Sal does what she says she did]

          • OctopusGardener
            OctopusGardener
            June 12, 2014 at 11:50 am | #

            If I remember correctly, doesn’t Billie still think Sal is Amazi-Girl?

            • TPman
              TPman
              June 15, 2014 at 1:26 am | #

              Yep!
              Maybe Billie thinks the “beat up Amazi-Girl” story is an elaborate cover-up. Pretending to be your own villain. Justifies your presence at the scene while still providing you with an alibi. Very clever.

      • BrokenEye, True False Prophet
        BrokenEye, True False Prophet
        September 26, 2015 at 4:48 am | #

        Don’t forget, tomorrow is the day we “kill the president”

  2. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    June 12, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    It’s never too early for wise-assery!

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      June 12, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      It is when you’ve been drinkin’

      • newllend
        newllend
        June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        That’s the best time!

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 12, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

        Yeah, but if Walky waited until Billie hadn’t been drinking to be a smart ass he would have to give up on it entirely.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      June 12, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Nor is it too late. The wise-assery arrives precisely when it is necessary.

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 12, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

        Thanks Gandalf.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      But jack-assery is more of an afternoon/evening thing.

      • Lord Geovanni
        Lord Geovanni
        June 12, 2014 at 11:33 am | #

        You need to teach a ceminar for my parents

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I’m more partial to smart-assery, myself.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        Well, smart-assery is for wizards, wise-assery is for clerics.

        I’m more of a bard, so I tend toward charismatic-assery.

        • Anarchy 101
          Anarchy 101
          June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          I like the subcategory of cynical smart-assery the best

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 12, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          As a sorcerer/druid theurge, I concur but diversify. Smartassery’s fun, but fits cynics better.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 12, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          Leaving dumbassery to the goons?

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            June 12, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

            And the kobolds, man nothing is dumber than a kobold. Goblins come close but they are more crazy than stupid.

            • Geo
              Geo
              June 12, 2014 at 2:52 am | #

              there are three kinds of kobolds your classic dumb as a mud fence variety. The lovable but still moronic “Deekan” type and then there are the Tucker variety. The “Tucker’s Kobold” is very different, in fact most believe the Almighty Pun-Pun, blessed be his name was a mutant spawn of this clever and deadly sub-race. Also dread gazebo.

              • Cholma
                Cholma
                June 12, 2014 at 6:18 am | #

                +1 for mentioning Deekin! Love that little Bard!

              • StClair
                StClair
                June 12, 2014 at 6:23 pm | #

                This post is a rich trove of classic in-jokes. (Treasure Type G, at least.)

                Great userpic, too.

                • dehro
                  dehro
                  June 12, 2014 at 7:27 pm | #

                  Still trying to get over the fact that I actually got all of them

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          June 12, 2014 at 4:44 am | #

          Sort of a Tony Stark kind of thing?

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          June 12, 2014 at 7:04 pm | #

          And I am more bad at everything, so I lean towards bad-assery?

    • Chris
      Chris
      June 12, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      Everything is too early when you have a massive hangover.

  3. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 12, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

    • nothri
      nothri
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Knew there would be at least one of these.

  4. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 12, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    They weren’t baking, rather they were pickling.

  5. cmd1095
    cmd1095
    June 12, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Walky, never fails to bring on the lols

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      June 12, 2014 at 1:40 am | #

      His comeback is perfect.

  6. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 12, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    I hate when people do the air quotes wrong.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I also hate whenever someone says “I could care less”.

      • RevenantBacon
        RevenantBacon
        June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

        Yeah, especially because most of them mean “I couldN’T care less”.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 12, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          David Mitchell explains the problem with “I could care less” in this video

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw

          • nothri
            nothri
            June 12, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

            Counterpoint:

            http://www.slate.com/blogs/lexicon_valley/2014/03/18/why_i_could_care_less_is_not_as_irrational_or_ungrammatical_as_you_might.html

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              June 12, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

              Like I care.

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              June 12, 2014 at 10:30 am | #

              I could care less… but it would require effort and possibly heavy equipment.

              • nothri
                nothri
                June 12, 2014 at 6:09 pm | #

                You are my least favorite person right now.

            • RevenantBacon
              RevenantBacon
              June 12, 2014 at 1:32 pm | #

              touché

            • gwalla
              gwalla
              June 12, 2014 at 11:14 pm | #

              Oh hey, it’s by Arika Okrent, cool.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

        That just means that they care about you 🙂

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Don’t people usually claim to be unable to care less? If I say that I can care less doesn’t that imply that the thing I am talking about matters more to me than not at all?

        • kelticat
          kelticat
          June 12, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          People seem to mix up the meanings between “I could care less” and “I couldn’t care less” Many seem to think that the two sayings are synonymous instead of opposing.

          • 3oranges
            3oranges
            June 12, 2014 at 12:32 pm | #

            They usually act as synonyms because they’re both bitter. Compare:

            What a terrible idea that is.
            What a spectacular idea that is.

            Tell me those are opposites when spoken by someone rolling their eyes.

            Meanwhile, “I appreciate how much the president has done” and “Thanks, Obama!” usually are opposites. It’s all context.

        • Reepicheep-chan
          Reepicheep-chan
          June 12, 2014 at 6:23 pm | #

          That is what I keep saying. “I could care less” is short form for “I could care less, but not by very much” “I couldn’t care less” is always a lie :p (it is accepted because it is hyperbole of course, but my point stands)

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Not to mention misuse of the word “literally”.

        • KingMabel
          KingMabel
          June 12, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          I know the feeling. I literally spit fire with anger every time I hear someone make such a simple mistake.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 12, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

          People have been literally misusing the word literally for many decades now.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 12, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            I literally find it ironic how often people use words wrong.

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              June 12, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

              Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?

              It’s like RAIN… on a rainy day

              • John
                John
                June 12, 2014 at 8:39 am | #

                It’s like a free ride, that you don’t have to pay for.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  June 12, 2014 at 9:23 am | #

                  It’s good advice that you took and you’re better for it.

                • John
                  John
                  June 12, 2014 at 1:56 pm | #

                  Sure aren’t going to find any of that around here.

          • Drakey
            Drakey
            June 12, 2014 at 7:33 pm | #

            The misuse of “literally” has literally changed its meaning so that the accepted definition literally includes the two contradictory meanings.

            The English language literally changes over time, and I am literally filled with uncontrollable haterage every time someone gets all irritated about minutia that is literally no longer valid.

            Also, literally, literally, literally.

            Literally.

            But yeah, common usage has changed the definition of a lot of words. It’s an interesting quirk of linguistics that they change, and then people get mad about it.

        • LuckyStar7
          LuckyStar7
          June 12, 2014 at 7:36 am | #

          Or the use of the wrong ‘you’re’.
          Or the use of the wrong ‘too’.
          …As you can probably tell, illiteracy is not tolerated here.

          • kelticat
            kelticat
            June 12, 2014 at 1:30 pm | #

            How about use of the wrong ‘their?’

            • LuckyStar7
              LuckyStar7
              June 12, 2014 at 5:57 pm | #

              Oh, Goood, do not get me started.

              • Jen Aside
                Jen Aside
                June 12, 2014 at 6:47 pm | #

                irregardless

                • LuckyStar7
                  LuckyStar7
                  June 13, 2014 at 8:36 am | #

                  I must break you.

      • Chris
        Chris
        June 12, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        The sayings “head over heels” and “have your cake and eat it, too” are also reversed from their original order and meaning, but very few people realize it.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      It’s so “annoying”.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      So how do you do *air quotes* then Yoto?

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        In my studies I gathered that one would ^air quote^ in such a manner.

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        The correct way, obviously.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          June 12, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

          This way.

          • Drunken Nordmann
            Drunken Nordmann
            June 12, 2014 at 3:51 am | #

            Oh god, viewing that was painful.

  7. kelticat
    kelticat
    June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Is Billie sure that Sal’s even in the room? Cause she just got up herself.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Billie and Sal have been friends since they were kids. She can just sense her presence now.

      • Anarchy 101
        Anarchy 101
        June 12, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        Billie can obviously sense the aura of bad-assery that emanates off of Sal

        • kelticat
          kelticat
          June 12, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

          So Sal’s a bad-ass, Walky’s a wise-ass, and Billie is drunk-off-her-ass.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 12, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            And Mike is just an Ass.

            • kelticat
              kelticat
              June 12, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

              No, Mike is an ass-kicker.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          June 12, 2014 at 2:00 am | #

          That aura smells of cheap beer and cigarettes.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 12, 2014 at 2:26 am | #

            Cheap Weed and Applesauce.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        June 12, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        Or Sal snores. She snores rock n’ roll.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          June 12, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

          Yngwie Malmsteen is suing her snores for copyright infringement.

          When she has sinus problems, it’s more Steve Vai.

          • ocbrad1
            ocbrad1
            June 12, 2014 at 9:18 am | #

            Yngwie FTW!!

          • gwalla
            gwalla
            June 12, 2014 at 11:19 pm | #

            Her sinuses have UNLEASHED THE FUCKING FURY

    • Blue Dragon
      Blue Dragon
      June 12, 2014 at 9:11 pm | #

      They both have a top bunk. Are you suggesting that Billie isn’t awake enough to look around until after she’s on the floor?

  8. Tacdud2
    Tacdud2
    June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    I want more hair down Billie.

    • newllend
      newllend
      June 12, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      And I love her eyes in this strip their beautiful.

  9. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    June 12, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Hey maybe she was at the roller derby it was a long night.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      yeah, i could readily believe the shared six-pack was a way to wind down afterward.

      • MrSirk
        MrSirk
        June 12, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        They had to pick Malaya up from somewhere.

        • Cybersnark
          Cybersnark
          June 12, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

          And spend the rest of the night wondering why they bothered.

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      June 12, 2014 at 2:04 am | #

      Impossible! Then Billie would have to admit that Sal’s life is more interesting than her own!

  10. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    If this was about 3 or 4 years ago, I would have made a joke about her smooshing his face into hers.

    My, how things change.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      I think Billie should smoosh Walky’s face into hers.

      • ShaggyDonahugh
        ShaggyDonahugh
        June 12, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        I think Walky should accidentally smoosh Billie’s face into Sal’s.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 12, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          I think they should all smoosh faces until they become a large blob of face goo.

        • newllend
          newllend
          June 12, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

          DAMNIT someone beat me to the joke!

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      June 12, 2014 at 6:56 am | #

      ie 3-4 days

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      June 12, 2014 at 4:50 pm | #

      Eh, I still ship it.

  11. newllend
    newllend
    June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    “Sis please you got to tell me that when we were kids our mom DID NOT! Take us to a talent agency because if you don’t I’m jumping off the nearest building.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “Why do ya think Ah’ve been jumpin’ outta windows mah’ whole life?”

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      “Ya’ll can use our window. Ah find if you veer right you can shimmy down the tree no problem.”

  12. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    June 12, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I love this cast so much.

    I don’t really think I hate anyone in it. Well, Blaine, but I am supposed to. Dina might be my least favorite character who is not intentionally odious, or Mike, but I love them, too, I just love the others more.

    You’ve amassed a fun cast, Mr. Willis!

  13. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    “Why Won’t Your Stupid Face Stop Wise-Assering” would be a great title for this particular volume of DoA.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      hmmmmm

      I wanted an Amazi-Girl quote, but this might do if I decide I don’t like how that one turns out.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 12, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        You could always save this one for the title of your memoir.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 12, 2014 at 1:36 am | #

          I thought that would be called “FAAAAAAACE: How one stupid word immortalized me forever like those Calvin peeing decals”

          • Swerve
            Swerve
            June 12, 2014 at 8:13 am | #

            I would think Willis would prefer to title his memoirs “Batman Can Breathe in Space: the Misadventures of a Highly Opinionated Webcomic Artist”. And Dave, my agent is totally willing to discuss royalties. (I talked Skids into being my agent should I manage to sell my own memoirs of my time on the Lost Light.)

  14. -Sentinel-
    -Sentinel-
    June 12, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Cranky and hungover Billie is best Billie.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      But have you seen TOPLESS Billie?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 12, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Yes, thanks to R24.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          June 12, 2014 at 11:26 pm | #

          Thanks to you I just ended up reading a comment accusing Roz of being an author self-insert.

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        June 12, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        I hope I see her in a future Slipshine comic.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 12, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        Cranky, hungover, AND topless Billie. Search your feelings; you know it to be true.

        • Drunken Nordmann
          Drunken Nordmann
          June 12, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

          Ah, Star Wars quotes – they never get old. But I start feeling old when I hear or read them, sometimes.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 12, 2014 at 2:53 pm | #

        Cranky, hungover and topless is no way to go through life Billie.

        • Drakey
          Drakey
          June 12, 2014 at 7:38 pm | #

          Much better to just be topless.

  15. ShaggyDonahugh
    ShaggyDonahugh
    June 12, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Well that’s a silly comic. I like it.

  16. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Fifth panel Walky becomes Clayface.

  17. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Hungover Billie is hung over…

    • newllend
      newllend
      June 12, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Hung over Billie is not that different from regular Billie.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        June 12, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

        Well, yes she is, she’s about a half-order of magnitude worse than regular Billie.

        • kelticat
          kelticat
          June 12, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

          And she’s not wearing her glasses.

  18. SilverArrowArtemis
    SilverArrowArtemis
    June 12, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    join me link and I will make your face the greatest in Koradai.

  19. PerryA
    PerryA
    June 12, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Nice to see Billie doing the Margo.

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      June 12, 2014 at 2:10 pm | #

      Classic

  20. nothri
    nothri
    June 12, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Billie, I think the issue is less about his face and more about his voice. Find a way to gag him and the wise assing will surely cease.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      June 12, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Just rip out his tongue, I’m sure that’ll do it

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 12, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        Present it to Ruth as a token of affection.

        • -Sentinel-
          -Sentinel-
          June 12, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

          Femurs are also an acceptable offering.

      • nekobawt
        nekobawt
        June 12, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        *billie strangles walky* “gawd, even your DEATH RATTLE is annoying!”

        • nothri
          nothri
          June 12, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

          Could be worse.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMvFo4cd02o

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            June 12, 2014 at 1:37 am | #

            (Twitch) Gads, that’s horrible.

            • nothri
              nothri
              June 12, 2014 at 6:02 pm | #

              Not even the worst example of it I could find, either. Never say I didn’t do anything for you.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 12, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        Rip out his tongue with your tongue.

        • newllend
          newllend
          June 12, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

          Hey I’m a smart-asserer too can I get some of that.

        • nothri
          nothri
          June 12, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

          I don’t think even Billie has a sharp enough tongue for that.

          See what I did there?

          • EvilPerson
            EvilPerson
            June 12, 2014 at 3:47 pm | #

            …Point out an obvious pun? 😉

            • nothri
              nothri
              June 12, 2014 at 6:01 pm | #

              No, making an obvious pun and THEN pointing it out! :DDD

  21. John Madden
    John Madden
    June 12, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    Are roller derbies still a thing? I’d cover that up too.

    • kelticat
      kelticat
      June 12, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

      More like coming back into mainstream, thanks to certain crime dramas.

    • AHA
      AHA
      June 12, 2014 at 7:48 am | #

      Yes! There’s probably a team near you. Here’s the WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) league lookup: http://wftda.com/leagues.

      • Drakey
        Drakey
        June 12, 2014 at 7:40 pm | #

        There are ads for the local roller derby team on the MAX trains in Portland, Oregon.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      June 12, 2014 at 9:37 am | #

      I never even knew they were a thing until DoA introduced the term to me. And up until I googled it a moment ago, I was content with inferring that it involved roller skates.

      • Bill
        Bill
        June 12, 2014 at 1:32 pm | #

        You mean it doesn’t??

        I’m old enough to remember roller derby on regional TV back in the 1960s, and the Raquel Welch movie (“Kansas City Bomber”) that it inspired.  Incidentally, I believe that the ’11’ on Malaya’s shirt is in homage to this movie, as Raquel Welch’s character also wore #11 in the film.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          June 12, 2014 at 1:43 pm | #

          Malaya first appeared in Shortpacked! in 2011.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          June 12, 2014 at 2:55 pm | #

          Yup, I remember Skinny Minnie Miller.

    • PlainMarie
      PlainMarie
      June 12, 2014 at 10:02 am | #

      I know two women from two completely different areas of my life and widely separated geographical locations who do roller derby. AND one of their young daughters do, too. Apparently it’s a thing now (again).

    • Reepicheep-chan
      Reepicheep-chan
      June 12, 2014 at 6:28 pm | #

      My brother is an official derby ref now so I am going to bouts like all the time myself. It is hella fun, I would recommend it.

  22. Raptorman
    Raptorman
    June 12, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

    Wiseassery is like playing a musical instrument, only way to stay good is practice, practice, practice!

  23. Thomas Howard
    Thomas Howard
    June 12, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

    Wait, is he there to apologize/talk about the whole parents/race thing? That definitely seems to be the case. Color me intrigued. You may continue the story, Mr. Willis.

  24. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    June 12, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

    Walky doesn’t have his sister’s cell number?

    • kelticat
      kelticat
      June 12, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      Why would he? He doesn’t really communicate with her. Note that their last conversation was on Saturday evening and it now Tuesday.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      June 12, 2014 at 2:11 am | #

      Yes, but he never wrote and it’s become irrelevant since they let her out of jail.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        June 12, 2014 at 2:12 pm | #

        boarding school, not jail

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 12, 2014 at 6:49 pm | #

          It’s “laik prison”

  25. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    June 12, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

    FATALITY

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      June 12, 2014 at 8:20 am | #

      FRIENDSHIP

  26. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    June 12, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

    So many asses.
    Wise ass. Smart ass. Dead ass. Weird ass. Fat ass. Skinny Ass. Sachel ass. Dumb ass.
    These are all uses that I’ve actually heard people say.

    And top it all off with ass hattery.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      June 12, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

      and they’re all half-assing it

    • Animal
      Animal
      June 12, 2014 at 12:34 pm | #

      You forgot “nice ass!”

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 12, 2014 at 2:56 pm | #

        And “that ass”.

        • nothri
          nothri
          June 12, 2014 at 6:04 pm | #

          And that’s not even getting into the various breeds of donkey you could talk about.

  27. kelticat
    kelticat
    June 12, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

    I just realized why Billie thinks “at the roller-derby” is an euphemism. She still thinks Sal fights crime while wearing yellow spandex with a blue cape.

    I guess its too late for me to think quickly.

    • Drunken Nordmann
      Drunken Nordmann
      June 12, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

      Well, I also didn’t catch that – though in my case it’s just too early to think quickly. It’s 6:48 in the morning around here and I didn’t sleep.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 12, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

      Maybe Amazi-girl is her Roller-Derby Alias.

  28. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    June 12, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

    Quick, Walky! Aim your “weenus” at Billie! That’ll make her day! 😀

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      June 12, 2014 at 9:39 am | #

      It will make her day something, all right.

  29. Philip Marlowe
    Philip Marlowe
    June 12, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

    Well now I know what Willis was talking about on Twitter with favorite panels.

  30. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    June 12, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

    3rd panel:
    “Now everyone will know the truth of your ‘divinity.'”

    • TemplarKnight
      TemplarKnight
      June 12, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

      Not quite the same without a giant stone Jaguar mimicking it.

  31. Evil Midnight Lurker
    Evil Midnight Lurker
    June 12, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

    i’m crrrrushing your head

    crush crush crush

    • Rybridge
      Rybridge
      June 12, 2014 at 3:10 am | #

      You should get a prize for an gravatar that displays one of the funniest episodes of television from my childhood.

      • Evil Midnight Lurker
        Evil Midnight Lurker
        June 12, 2014 at 4:58 pm | #

        I’ve been using him as my online identity pretty much ever since he existed, although even before 9/11 calling oneself “Evil Midnight Bomber” on the Net seemed like a bad idea, hence “Lurker.” 🙂

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          June 12, 2014 at 6:20 pm | #

          What Lurks At Midnight!

          • Evil Midnight Lurker
            Evil Midnight Lurker
            June 12, 2014 at 7:06 pm | #

            Exactly 🙂

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 12, 2014 at 2:58 pm | #

      Yay, fellow Kids in the Hall fan.

  32. Robin
    Robin
    June 12, 2014 at 3:01 am | #

    All I can think of is “Billie the mountain”.

    • Drunken Nordmann
      Drunken Nordmann
      June 12, 2014 at 3:46 am | #

      So – next page there’s the off-panel sound of an exploding melon?

    • John
      John
      June 12, 2014 at 8:46 am | #

      The Mountain That Drinks?

      • Robin
        Robin
        June 12, 2014 at 9:17 pm | #

        awesomeface

    • Animal
      Animal
      June 12, 2014 at 12:34 pm | #

      What about Ethel?

      • John
        John
        June 12, 2014 at 2:04 pm | #

        Billie was a mountain!
        Ruth was the RA lurking over her shoulder!

        (That was actually my first reaction, but then I figured with the face-crushing and all it was probably meant to be a Game of Thrones ref. [insert Howard here])

        • Animal
          Animal
          June 12, 2014 at 8:41 pm | #

          So who will play Studebacher Hoch?

          • Animal
            Animal
            June 12, 2014 at 8:43 pm | #

            (Some people said he looked like… Zubin Mehta!

            ZUBIN MEHTA!)

  33. Akhenaten
    Akhenaten
    June 12, 2014 at 3:44 am | #

    Aww, poor Danny. Sal’s probably gonna miss his toturing session

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      June 12, 2014 at 9:40 am | #

      That’s “tutoring” for Sal, “torturing” for Danny. 😉

  34. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    June 12, 2014 at 4:10 am | #

    Seven or eight more fingers will get rid of that face’s wise-assery.

  35. Triniking
    Triniking
    June 12, 2014 at 5:50 am | #

    Wise-assery is the best super-power though.

  36. Gigafreak
    Gigafreak
    June 12, 2014 at 9:40 am | #

    In a past life, Billie was a face-hugger

  37. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 12, 2014 at 10:01 am | #

    “Definitely not caused by a lack of fingers.” There is an innuendo there somewhere but I can’t quite put my – ahahaha – finger on it.

  38. JW
    JW
    June 12, 2014 at 10:10 am | #

    …Why does Walky think a roller derby would need to be covered up? It’s a perfectly legal sport.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      June 12, 2014 at 10:41 am | #

      “Legal” and “something you’d willingly admit to doing” aren’t the same thing.

  39. begbert2
    begbert2
    June 12, 2014 at 10:42 am | #

    Billie just can’t keep her hands off Walky.

  40. Bugberry
    Bugberry
    June 12, 2014 at 11:10 am | #

    How does Walky know “At the Roller Derby” isn’t a euphemism?

  41. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf
    June 12, 2014 at 11:52 am | #

    Billie, no! That’s not how you do a Vulcan mind meld! Your fingers are in the wrong spots!

  42. John
    John
    June 12, 2014 at 12:14 pm | #

    I ship these two.

  43. Aaron Bourque
    Aaron Bourque
    June 12, 2014 at 1:15 pm | #

    Oh, right. Billie still thinks Sal is Amazi-Girl.

  44. The Steve
    The Steve
    June 12, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

    Are we far enough in to the semester for anyone to consciously decide a high school friendship has not survived the move? That happened to me and I have NO idea why I thought of it after reading today’s strip…

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      June 12, 2014 at 3:50 pm | #

      Well, if Day 1 was “far enough,” I’d say yes. (Though it’s likely that Billie never considered him a friend to begin with.)

      • John
        John
        June 12, 2014 at 4:12 pm | #

        Aw, Billie just insults and abuses Walky to cover up the fact that she wants to bang him silly.

        (I find it explains a lot about Billie’s behaviour if you assume that this holds true regardless of what other person’s name you stick in that sentence. Sal? Yep. Ruth? Definitely. Danny? He’s a total nerd, but he said she was a pretty cheerleader! Joyce? It’s okay, everyone’s a little bicurious! Sarah? Resolving interpersonal conflict with trips to Bone City! Howard? … Okay, maybe it doesn’t always work.)

        • Eukie
          Eukie
          June 12, 2014 at 4:58 pm | #

          Look, Billie doesn’t [i]actually[/i] want to bone Howard, but he does look a bit like Ruth if she takes off her gasses…

          • Eukie
            Eukie
            June 12, 2014 at 4:59 pm | #

            Fuck… mixed up BBcode and HTML formatting… ^_^;

            • StClair
              StClair
              June 12, 2014 at 6:27 pm | #

              and spelling “glasses”.
              Just sayin’.

              • Eukie
                Eukie
                June 13, 2014 at 8:08 am | #

                *groan*

                …can’t do anything right.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 12, 2014 at 4:32 pm | #

      Billie and Walky didn’t have a highschool friendship. They had a pre-high school friendship that went sour in high school when Billie became a popular bongo and Walky is trying to reconnect with her now that she’s lost her posse of popular bongoes.

  45. Just Me
    Just Me
    June 12, 2014 at 4:24 pm | #

    Wouldn’t you think that Walky knows Sal’s friends and what she does when she goes out? Wouldn’t he know what Roller Derby really means?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 12, 2014 at 4:31 pm | #

      He hasn’t seen her in years. And they don’t talk much now.

  46. xXxFedoraFlipperxXx
    xXxFedoraFlipperxXx
    June 12, 2014 at 6:46 pm | #

    Of course Billie thinks that Sal is Amazi girl. I should lay off the mind crippling cocaine.

  47. Nrdr123
    Nrdr123
    June 12, 2014 at 9:29 pm | #

    We need a Walky versus Faz face-off, for Dorothy’s love and affection. That and we need more Faz, you can never have too much Faz. Are Danny and Sal going to get together?

    • Drunken Nordmann
      Drunken Nordmann
      June 12, 2014 at 11:36 pm | #

      Still shipping Faz and Dina – and still no clue how to name the ship.

  48. Eukie
    Eukie
    June 13, 2014 at 8:09 am | #

    Aww, Billie isn’t doing very well.

    Poor Billie! 🙁

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