Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

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walky might not know what a kegstand is exactly, but i'm sure billie does
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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

September 28, 2023

Crazytalk

by David M Willis on July 17, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit

└ Tags: ruth, walky

Discussion (209) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Meng Ling
    Meng Ling
    July 17, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Weeeeeeeee

  2. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    July 17, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Ah Walky. Growing up.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      July 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Also, alt text is true.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      That wasn’t supposed to be the plan.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Yeah, the plan calls for a 500 tubs of caramel…and marshmallows.

        • Tunaro
          Tunaro
          July 17, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

          Well he already has all the caramel anybody’d ever need just by standing still.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            July 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

            Where do you think he gets the caramel. He needs to soak at least once a week.

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            July 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

            I think Dorothy’s reserved that for a while.

            • Tunaro
              Tunaro
              July 17, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

              And there’s the marshmallows! Now all they need is Joyce and everyone’ll have the best s’mores ever.

              • JessWitt
                JessWitt
                July 17, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

                Are you calling Joyce a cracker?

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

                  Joyce is more white bread than a cracker. 😛

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

                  And white bread goes best with tuna.

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

                  Yep, with the bread and tuna remark, this thread reached that point. That point.

                  …where it becomes the BEST thread. 😀

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

                  Wait, am I missing something?

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  July 17, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

                  Aizat, I was going to be all, “Wait, what?” Then I Urban Dictionary’d it, and…okay, I now understand any confusion.

                  I’ve understood “tuna” to be definition 4 (and/or the “related words” word cloud) since middle school…didn’t realize all those other definitions were floating around out there. ^^; http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tuna

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  July 17, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

                  Oh….I didn’t mean that…I was just hankering for some tuna sandwich.

              • Mr. Random
                Mr. Random
                July 17, 2014 at 2:17 am | #

                I prefer toast and peanut butter.
                That may or may not be a euphemism.
                I’m hungry.

                • Opus the Poet
                  Opus the Poet
                  July 17, 2014 at 6:48 pm | #

                  Whole wheat toast with organic peanut butter and honey. Yum.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        July 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Yes, but plan “Big Bucket ‘a Nuggets” was accomplished like 3 weeks ago ( in Comic Time).

        • Vim-Hogar
          Vim-Hogar
          July 17, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

          That’s not a mission, that’s a lifestyle!

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          July 17, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

          And plan “SuperDew” is still waiting for his government application to be processed.

          Mountain Dew is well known to be made from nuclear waste, and you need to fill out lots of paperwork to be allowed to stockpile it in the quantities Walky intends.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            July 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

            I’d rather go with plan Nes…that’s stacking your fridge with a lot of canned coffee.

          • DSL
            DSL
            July 17, 2014 at 10:18 am | #

            That comment is unfair to nuclear waste.

          • nekobawt
            nekobawt
            July 17, 2014 at 11:53 pm | #

            i knew a guy who used to work at taco bell and would drink mountain dew syrup. he was surprisingly chill.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        July 17, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        He wasn’t supposed to like girls, either.

  3. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    July 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    That’s when you have a psychic spiritual projection shaped like a barrel, isn’t it?

    …what?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 17, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      You’re 100% proof right. 😀

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        July 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        Get Back Jojo

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          July 17, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

          to where you once belonged?

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          July 17, 2014 at 2:01 pm | #

          MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA

    • Camachri
      Camachri
      July 17, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      Also known as falling off the speedwagon.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 17, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

        But you will withdraw coolly…and a tad afraid.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        July 17, 2014 at 2:26 pm | #

        God dammit, I love this comment. I’m beaming that love to you now; it may feel somewhat like hate, because it is also that.

  4. Nono
    Nono
    July 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Walky has learned GuiltTrip!

    It’s super effective!

    • MM
      MM
      July 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      But Walky can only learn four moves! What did he forget?

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        July 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Calculus.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          July 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

          You can’t forget Calculus…it’ll haunt you in your nightmares.

        • N0083rP00F
          N0083rP00F
          July 17, 2014 at 11:52 am | #

          You can never truly know Calculus but Calculus knows you.

      • Nono
        Nono
        July 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        Virginity.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          July 17, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          Virginity is a move now? Is it physical or special?

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            July 17, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

            Physical, I’d guess. It’s one of those throwaway moves that can be replaced by pretty much any move except Splash and not be a loss.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              July 17, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

              I heard that the Japanese word for splash was bukkake, so…

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                July 17, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

                Wait…what?

              • Betty Anne
                Betty Anne
                July 17, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

                (Huh, my comment doesn’t seem to have posted. Apologies if a longer version of this posts as a double-post.)

                Yes, that seems to be correct! That makes me extra-happy about the time I hoarded Magikarp and Splashed the frack out of every opponent I encountered. XD

              • JustCheetoDust
                JustCheetoDust
                July 17, 2014 at 2:20 am | #

                It is. I know this because your post reminded me of an article written several years ago about the “coffee bukkake man,” which is really just some guy driving up to random girls and spitting coffee on them.

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  July 17, 2014 at 5:40 pm | #

                  Japan has the best weirdos. O.O

              • gwalla
                gwalla
                July 17, 2014 at 2:03 pm | #

                I ate a bowl of bukkake udon in Tokyo. It was okay.

          • Neo
            Neo
            July 17, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

            It’s a status move, causing a social status either positive or negative depending on the target.

          • tinfoil theory
            tinfoil theory
            July 17, 2014 at 2:27 am | #

            It deterres dragons.

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              July 17, 2014 at 9:16 am | #

              And befriends unicorns.

  5. Yumi
    Yumi
    July 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Wheee, guess who just got into this comic via a two day archive binge? (spoiler alert: it was me)

    Also, I know it’s not accurate, but I have thus far imagined all of of Sal’s dialog to be said in a Scottish accent.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 17, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      That never occurred to me, but since it would mean I can imagine she’d voiced by Karen Gillan, I’m willing to give it a try.

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      July 17, 2014 at 11:00 am | #

      Welcome to the fold then.

    • tigs
      tigs
      July 17, 2014 at 11:19 am | #

      I had a one night binge 🙁

      started reading at midnight, went to sleep at 9 am. Worth every fuckin’ strip!

    • artemi
      artemi
      July 17, 2014 at 8:36 pm | #

      I just got back into this, if that’s any consolation. Last I remember, they found Dina on a beach…

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      July 19, 2014 at 2:17 am | #

      I just spent too long looking for it to no avail, but there’s a Flash cartoon where Sal [and Walky] speak. Instead I have Danny/Joe and Walky/Joyce for your perusal

  6. JustcallmeSoul
    JustcallmeSoul
    July 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    and now to wait… again… some more… damn it willis xD

    • Golbez
      Golbez
      July 17, 2014 at 1:11 pm | #

      winter is coming, Soul.

  7. Aizat
    Aizat
    July 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    At least, you got to keep your friends…then you can invite them to your own kegstand. With blackjacks and hookers.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      In fact, forget the friends.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      July 17, 2014 at 2:57 am | #

      I’m, uh, assuming “blackjack” no longer refers to a leather pouch filled with lead pellets?

      My, uh… Some of my slang may be a little out of date. By, I guess, uh…eighty years? Oh well?

      • N0083rP00F
        N0083rP00F
        July 17, 2014 at 12:09 pm | #

        I thought that was a SAP …. no relation to I.T.

        As for Blackjack, I thought that was a card game using one of those quaint 52 card decks based on medieval social hierarchy.

  8. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    July 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Way to go Walky!

  9. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    July 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Cheezus Christ, Billie’s Astral Projecting into Walky. He’s possessed!

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 17, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

      That actually makes since on how her about isn’t moving, Billie died last night the poor thing.

  10. Vael
    Vael
    July 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Ruthless! You do possibly have a heart!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 17, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Well, her heart did shrink 3 sizes on the day she found out Billie’s cheating on her with a bottle of booze.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        July 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        It’s a sad day when you catch your girlfriend in bed with Jack Daniels next to her.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          July 17, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

          Hey, at least it’s not Bud….Bud’s crap, right? I never drink before so I don’t know.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          July 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          Jack Daniels isn’t into dudes? Norm MacDonald lied to us!

        • pendrake
          pendrake
          July 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          Having buried friends due to the consequences of their (or others’) alcoholism? You have no idea how sad it can be… 🙁

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          July 17, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

          billie had more than a LITTLE captain in here

          • nekobawt
            nekobawt
            July 17, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

            in her*

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      July 17, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      She does! And she really really doesn’t want to see any evidence that Billie does, too.

    • nothri
      nothri
      July 17, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

      Of course she has a heart. Its the thing that got crushed when she opened up to Billie and got stabbed in the back.

      • Sam
        Sam
        July 17, 2014 at 10:44 am | #

        Yes, it is a lot easier to stab vital organs through the back. Our bodies failed to accommodate for this possibility.

        • Bill
          Bill
          July 17, 2014 at 12:36 pm | #

          Almost all animals have a weak spot, and for most of them it is the soft underbelly.  As humans evolved and became bipedal the underbelly became the front, and since as upright primates early humans spent most of their time facing an enemy or prey the ribcage eventually became the main article of defense/protection.  The back therefore became the new vulnerability.

      • N0083rP00F
        N0083rP00F
        July 17, 2014 at 12:12 pm | #

        I knew she had one. It may even be that of a hero. I only thought she kept in a jar in the back of her closet though.

        • Bill
          Bill
          July 17, 2014 at 12:38 pm | #

          That’s Eleanor Rigby, and it’s not a heart but a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.

        • Rachel Roth
          Rachel Roth
          July 17, 2014 at 10:34 pm | #

          Grrreeeaaattt, her heart’s got to come out of the closet. . . this is only furthered by the fact that she shows signs of being a lesbian.

  11. Beachfox
    Beachfox
    July 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    I love how Walkie is setting up the best possible thing he could do to help Billie while being completely oblivious that’s what he’s doing.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      It could also hurt the shit out of her so…

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        July 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        If at first you don’t succeed, redefine “success.”

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          July 17, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

          Or if it at first you don’t succeed, aim lower.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            July 17, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

            That’s my advice for people who keep missing the toilets in public restrooms.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              July 17, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

              Actually that’s my advice against anyone trying to beat you up….especially if your attacker is male.

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            July 17, 2014 at 2:58 am | #

            If at first you don’t succeed, drag your teeth.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      July 17, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      He’s so smart even he doesn’t know it!

  12. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    July 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Walky, if you so much as touch a beer you will be vomiting violently.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 17, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      From the gut punch or from the beer tasting like piss?

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        July 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        A gut punch from pickin’ a fight with Sal.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      July 17, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      Well, DoA Sal can drink a beer and still be good enough to drive a motorcycle, so I’m guessing the Walkerton twins have stronger livers here than in the other universe.

      • nekobawt
        nekobawt
        July 17, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

        that or she’s been building up a tolerance longer.

  13. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    July 17, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Not sure what will happpen, but I believe Walky will want to wash his bedsheets either way.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 17, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Vomit? Or other sources of liquid?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        July 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        Possibly ALL the liquids.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          July 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          That sounds sexy and gross, which to me is synonomous.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            July 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

            Bodily liquids is what puts me off sex the most… YEEK!

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              July 17, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

              I’m mostly grossed out by lady parts. Which is wierd cuz I’m straight.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                July 17, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

                Sometimes it’s best not to look down. 😀

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

                  Well…that is quite interesting.

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

                  I think dicks are ugly, and I’m bi and married to a man, so…yeah, just don’t look down. XD

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

                  But I’m afraid it’ll feel wierd. It certainly looks like it would.

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

                  But I look down everyday. Heck, I always look down

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  July 17, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

                  Betty Anne is right, dicks are funny looking things, which is why some people claim that they are the very basis for comedy.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  July 17, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

                  They’re pretty good. I’m even fine with drawing them and everything. I just don’t want one on or in me.

            • David
              David
              July 17, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

              How would you design sex without bodily fluids? Last time I looked moving parts were involved. Are you going to use magnetic bearings?

              • tinfoil theory
                tinfoil theory
                July 17, 2014 at 2:34 am | #

                Thank you.

              • gwalla
                gwalla
                July 17, 2014 at 2:07 pm | #

                Powdered graphite.

  14. Mass Confusion
    Mass Confusion
    July 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Walky’s heart is in the right place here. Hopefully this will end with them helping each-other. And possibly a Slipshine comic. Most likely, though, it will end in our tears, Because they sustain Willis

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 17, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Which is why he hate Johnson’s® Baby Products.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 17, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      That’s good news. I was afraid his heart was in his shoulder. That’d be unfortunate.

  15. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    July 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Remember when personal growth was something you saw a specialist about to have removed?

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      July 17, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      Only if my insurance covers it.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 17, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        Or if the growth isn’t sentient…or happens to be my brother.

  16. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    July 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Kegstands are what keep the keg from tipping over, right?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I thought it meant drinking a keg while standing perfectly still.

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        July 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        I thought it was like a music stand — something to bring the beer up to eye level.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          July 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          It’s the Spiritual power of a Keg. It manifests itself. Only other Keg Stand users can see them.

          • Kiggy
            Kiggy
            July 17, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

            I got that reference 😉

        • David
          David
          July 17, 2014 at 10:39 am | #

          Lying under the table is doing that quite well.

      • Catullus
        Catullus
        July 17, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

        Isn’t it just standing on a keg?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      It’s doing a handstand while balancing a keg on your feet.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 17, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        I kinda assumed there will be drinking involved.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          July 17, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

          That’s what the tubing is for.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          July 17, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

          Let grandma teach you kids how to do a keg stand. http://youtu.be/kPWn7GXJX0Y

          • Sam
            Sam
            July 17, 2014 at 10:47 am | #

            GRANDMA!? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A MOUSTACHE!? D=

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              July 17, 2014 at 3:06 pm | #

              by the time they are old enough to be grandmas, most of them have mustaches.

              • Betty Anne
                Betty Anne
                July 17, 2014 at 5:41 pm | #

                XD +1

  17. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    July 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Aw, Walky won’t leave Billie if she really needs him. Hopefully Ruth means it and something will be accomplished.

  18. pendrake
    pendrake
    July 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    I also liked how Walky was also showing True Friend colors with stating he was going to skip class in favor of dealing with a clearly-hurting Billie.

  19. Regalli
    Regalli
    July 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Walky, can I just take a minute to tell you how awesome you’re being at the moment? Because Billie’s clearly showing signs of serious depression and you’re trying to get her help and are willing to miss class again if it means she’d be alone otherwise. Good on you, Walky.

    Of course, the fact that it’s Ruth may end up causing more problems, but were it not this specific situation you’d totally be in the right and as it is it’s still totally a good idea to have someone else looking out for her. Good going, Walky. There’s a lot of college students who could do with a friend like you.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      July 17, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

      And, as much as I’m ticked that Billie pissed away the start of a good relationship with Ruth because of her alcoholism, it IS technically still Ruth’s job to deal with it when someone comes to her with concerns about one of her students. If Billie lived in a different dorm, Ruth could tell Walky to go find that dorm’s R.A.

      Ruth could send this up the chain of command and simply cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason she couldn’t handle it, but I’m sure she’s A) still worried Billie might out her for her drinking (even if it puts Billie at risk for being outed too), and B) concerned about the iffiness of some of her other actions (relationship with someone she has power over, extorting the cheerleading uniform from another student, etc). Also, Ruth seems like the type of R.A. who takes her job seriously and actually wants to be good at it. Those things would incline her toward handling Billie herself, even if it sucks.

      • Leon
        Leon
        July 17, 2014 at 1:26 am | #

        Ruth isn’t blameless here. Sure, Billie had been drinking behind Ruth’s back, but Ruth never offered to talk it out or even considered giving her a second chance. She just flat out applied zero tolerance, which means, zero thought.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          July 17, 2014 at 2:37 am | #

          Oh yeah, I know Ruth played her part. I was actually really disappointed she didn’t at least wait for an explanation – but then, I also understood her personal pain that Billie didn’t even know about, because alcoholism runs in my family, and I’ve walked that line myself, plus I’ve had friends AND family killed by drunk drivers (in separate incidents over 20 years apart), so I don’t normally have a lot of time for people who think their drinking problem isn’t a problem, especially if they have a history of drunk driving.

          I think the only reason I have sympathy for Billie is because she’s SO young and could move past it if she’d just seek help. :/ She’s the kind of spoiled-naive that comes from being someone important in a small town and a nobody in the real world. (I also know how that happens, because even though I’ve been a nobody my whole life, I’ve also been a small town girl my whole life, and I’ve seen it happen over and over again.) Being bongo-slapped by reality sucks, but it extra-sucks when you’re someone who’s made it to theoretical adulthood without ever having to experience it. :/

  20. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    July 17, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Awww I love Walky.

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      July 17, 2014 at 2:41 am | #

      I doubt doting Dotty will share.

  21. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Dormcest can be bad, but it’s especially rough for RAs.

  22. T Campbell
    T Campbell
    July 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    “Billie will be fine,
    Okay? Eventually. Fine,
    just fine. Give her time.”

    “Look, I promise I
    Will talk to her. Go to class.
    (Your guilt trip has worked.)”

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      July 17, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

      David Walkerton
      Finds the wrong girl in his bed
      Good morning to you?

      Did she even sleep?
      Will everything be alright?
      She won’t say what’s wrong.

      A baffled Walky begs
      Both the best and worst to ask:
      Ruth “Ruthless” Lessick.

      She from Canada,
      Bizarre and terrifying,
      Comes to Billie’s aid?

      Get up, Jennifer
      Wake up and smell the liquor
      This is gonna hurt

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 17, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

        *applauds both of you*

  23. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    July 17, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    Someone’s gonna have to draw Billie doing a Keg Stand.

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 17, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

      That opportunity was given a long time ago.

  24. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 17, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    “Keg Stands with Sad Friends” sounds like a fun band name.

    • Kiggy
      Kiggy
      July 17, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

      Yup.

    • StClair
      StClair
      July 17, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

      whereas my brain leaps to “Sad Girl with Keg in Snow.”

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        July 17, 2014 at 3:49 am | #

        My Freudian senses interpret you may have had a bad day recently at some social gathering?

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        July 17, 2014 at 3:09 pm | #

        That sounds like something Fred Gallagher would draw.

  25. AtomsOrSystems
    AtomsOrSystems
    July 17, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    I might sense a broken promise in the offing. Is that just me?

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      July 17, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      I don’t think so. Ruth is feeling just a tiny bit bad for running off before. Sure, Billie tastes of alcohol, but maybe she can be fixed. (Of course, running off and making Billie utterly miserable was the best single way for Ruth to get Billie to fix herself. Awkwardly, doing the right thing in that situation and letting someone you love deal with the consequences of their own actions is much harder than fixing it for them.)

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        July 17, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

        ^ This. Many, many good friends become enablers because they DON’T want to do the right thing and force a friend to deal with the consequences of poor choices. If you’re constantly bailing them out and/or fixing their problems and/or telling them “everything will be okay,” you’re not helping them solve their problem(s) over the long term.

        • artemi
          artemi
          July 17, 2014 at 10:19 pm | #

          My personal theory is that Billie is suffering alcohol withdraw. She broke up with Ruth, got drunk a few days, and now is going through what Ruth did a week back.

  26. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    July 17, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    Walky, you have taken your first step into a larger world. The world of guilt-tripping!

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 17, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

      A powerful weapon you hold, use it wisely and use it well.

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        July 17, 2014 at 2:45 am | #

        An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. Not as random and unreliable as a ghetto-blaster.

        • Ocbrad1
          Ocbrad1
          July 17, 2014 at 9:29 am | #

          Great cross-reference! +1 for you!

  27. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    July 17, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

    You’re living everyone’s reality. Talking to sad friends instead of keg stands in college.

  28. newllend
    newllend
    July 17, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

    Wow, usually sal’s the pissy one, what’s next Walky you going to complain about how algebra a conspiracy for the American system to keep you down.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 17, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

      Yeah, algebra isn’t a conspiracy….calculus is.

    • Bill
      Bill
      July 17, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

      Al gebra is something an Islamic extremist uses as a weapon of math destruction.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        July 17, 2014 at 1:35 am | #

        “Algebra” is something an Islamic mathematician uses, because that’s where algebra is friggin’ from, that’s why it’s called algebra, from the Arabic “al-jebr.”

        So.

        • AtomsOrSystems
          AtomsOrSystems
          July 17, 2014 at 2:02 am | #

          This is why my grammar school briefly renamed Algebra as FreedomBra in 2003.

          …there was some confusion.

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            July 17, 2014 at 2:41 am | #

            I would want to believe that post is in jest, but considering the whole country was briefly subjected to people calling French fries “Freedom fries”…I’m just going to go with a facepalm instead. 😐

            • vlademir1
              vlademir1
              July 17, 2014 at 11:22 am | #

              Unfortunately systemic of US civil life during “wartime” in certain regions of the country. Just go ahead and have a ‘Liberty Steak” with those “Freedom Fries”

              That said I could see calling it “FreedomBra” as something of a satirical “this is how bloody stupid you sound”

          • JessWitt
            JessWitt
            July 17, 2014 at 3:46 am | #

            FreedomBras for all! And there was much hilarity in the math classes.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          July 17, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

          It’s a weapon of math construction.

          • Jen
            Jen
            July 17, 2014 at 9:10 am | #

            Ha! 😀

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            July 17, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

            +1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1

            • Heavensrun
              Heavensrun
              July 17, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

              (=15)

        • Timinane
          Timinane
          July 17, 2014 at 4:32 am | #

          Can we admire the craftiness of his pun before assembling a lynch mob?

          • TJ Baltimore
            TJ Baltimore
            July 17, 2014 at 7:03 am | #

            I completely missed it the first time around.

          • Bill
            Bill
            July 17, 2014 at 12:43 pm | #

            Thank you, Timinane.

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            July 17, 2014 at 1:39 pm | #

            Mindlessly repeating a tired joke is not crafty. A lynch mob is a group of people who murders someone illegally, rather than someone criticizing someone in an internet comment. Now you’ve learned two things you apparently did not know.

        • WaytoomanyUIDs
          WaytoomanyUIDs
          July 17, 2014 at 5:10 am | #

          The joke
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          .
          Your head

          • David M Willis
            David M Willis
            July 17, 2014 at 10:07 am | #

            the joke only works if you think “algebra” starts with “al” because of a hilarious coincidence and not because of friggin’ etymology

            otherwise it’s just knowingly ignoring one of a civilization’s greatest achievements so you can make it into an ethnic joke centered on murder-based stereotypes

            which one of those went over my head

            • Reverie
              Reverie
              July 17, 2014 at 12:19 pm | #

              The number of times I wish these comments allowed upvoting…

              • Julez
                Julez
                July 17, 2014 at 12:55 pm | #

                I know, right? I wish I could thumbs up yours, for pointing out the lack of thumbs up options.

            • 3oranges
              3oranges
              July 17, 2014 at 2:45 pm | #

              Since we are told the joke went over your head, but we know the ethnic stereotype isn’t funny – really, it’s not – the only possibility is that etymology is ITSELF funny.

              So: why do they call sawdust flammable? Because it can burst into FLAME.

              According to my calculations, everyone should be spraying milk through their noses now, whether they were drinking it or not.

              • Jackson
                Jackson
                July 18, 2014 at 3:51 pm | #

                I’m certainly spraying milk out my nose.

                Not because of your joke, though. I have a condition.

          • gwalla
            gwalla
            July 17, 2014 at 2:14 pm | #

            The joke
            .
            .
            .
            .
            .
            .
            floating around since 2001.

  29. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    July 17, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

    Walky has been especially grounded lately.
    Is Dorothy’s maturity sinking into him?

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 17, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

      No its the fact that everyone else has been acting extremely Immature.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 17, 2014 at 9:30 am | #

        Walky’s immaturity remains constant, it’s everyone else’s immaturity skyrocketing that makes him look mature by comparison.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          July 17, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

          I guess it could be that, but really, it seems more like Walky’s just behaving maturely. These things happen.

  30. David
    David
    July 17, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

    I’m somewhat put off by Walky’s expectations about the duties of an R.A. as compared to a friend. It’s like parents telling a teacher that their child is not behaving well at home.

    Now Ruthless is more than just an R.A. but he doesn’t know.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      July 17, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

      At my campus, it was really, really strongly encouraged to go to an R.A. if you had concerns about the well-being of a fellow dorm student. Well-meaning friends can sometimes make a problem worse instead of better. (See my post a few threads up about enabling behaviors.) Ruth, as an R.A., should be trained in information about and have access to any mental health or physical health services Billie might need to be referred to.

      • artemi
        artemi
        July 17, 2014 at 10:16 pm | #

        At first I thought it was because Walky somehow knew that Ruth and Billie were friends (sorta), and he was going to her for that. Now… not so much.

  31. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    July 17, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

    Oh Walky you have no idea, but good for him to look for someone to help even if he is not completely sure of what to do.

  32. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    July 17, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

    Good for Walky, he’s growing up. And it actually spoke up to ‘Ruthless” who throws people across the room when they bug her.

    Good for him wanting to try to help Billie even though he hasn’t a clue what to do. (Who would?)

    Also, it hurts like Hell to have ‘dry’ sex….you NEED those bodily fluids. We Americans have gotten so squeaky clean and santitary that we are complaining about the wonderful feel of sweaty slippery bodies doing the 2 backed beast? Sad world.
    Somehow I’m not surprised when stores are selling gym workout outfits that absorb your sweat so you don’t ‘offend your fellow gym workout people”….Jesus jumped up Crist in a sidecar.
    Just setting ourselves up to be so clean that the first good illness outbreak will knock us flat.

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      July 17, 2014 at 11:46 am | #

      Sorry to say it, but you’re at least two generations late on that last sentence. We’ve been doing so much keeping homes and kids in more and more sanitary conditions that childhood allergies have skyrocketed in that same period. At the current rate we’re going to end up all living inside our own tiny sanitary environment bubbles (David Vetter style).

      Off topic from this, but related, is something I love to put to those who like to pull out that old ‘won’t someone please think of the children’ bunk, “so whose going to protect these kids from the negative side effects of you trying to protect them from everything else?”

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        July 17, 2014 at 1:46 pm | #

        We shall all become Quarians!

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        July 17, 2014 at 2:22 pm | #

        Pretty sure we’re not even a little on track to making people live in bubbles because a few more kids are allergic to peanuts and milk. Especially given that the latter is more congenital, and surprise, huge swaths of the world have been for millenia because they didn’t rely very heavily on cattle.

  33. Leon
    Leon
    July 17, 2014 at 1:23 am | #

    Walky has good intentions, that much is true. But Ruth’s help? That’s like dowsing a fire with kerosene.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      July 17, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

      And how would Walky’s help be any different?

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 17, 2014 at 9:34 am | #

      I believe Willis described it as trying to soak up vinegar with baking soda.

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        July 17, 2014 at 8:07 pm | #

        Maybe not quite as dangerous, but still…

  34. Roomie
    Roomie
    July 17, 2014 at 2:30 am | #

    I CAUGHT UP! After only a single day of reading, I have reached current! This is now in my top five favorite webcomics and to put that in perscpetive, it is the 39th in my RSS agg’s “webcomic” category.

    So much character! The development! The smooches! THE INCLUSIVITY. I love it. And the nostalgia can’t be beat either, considering I’m a *recounts credit hours* junior at Uni.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      July 17, 2014 at 3:10 am | #

      Welcome aboard! 🙂

      Hey, you seen his other comics too? You’d probably really like Shortpacked!.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 17, 2014 at 3:16 pm | #

      Congrats on discovering one of the best webcomics in existence. And my opinion is based on having over 300 comics in my favourites list.

    • Amazistool
      Amazistool
      July 17, 2014 at 3:38 pm | #

      Yeah, but did you notice the exact day Willis added hovertext?

      And did you know that one of the comics long before that day was retconned to now have hovertext?

      Now you have to read the whole archive again!

      This time read the comments, too, they provide a lot of additional information to readers that are new to David Willis comics.

      Unfortunately also a lot of distraction referring to his other ‘verse, so maybe read that first (the archive is huge):
      http://www.itswalky.com
      (the improved original comic, currently updating daily).
      http://www.joyceandwalky.com/
      (has the complete archive of the original comic)
      http://www.shortpacked.com

      • Bill
        Bill
        July 18, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

        FWIW, I have not read all of the other Willis comics.  He declared that this was to be a stand-alone comic; it was not necessary to know what had happened in the others to be able to enjoy DoA.  It’s only when we get into the comments that some of the long-term readers of Willis’ other strips (and I’m pointing no fingers!!) start trying to cross-pollinate the strips.

  35. Aolbain
    Aolbain
    July 17, 2014 at 3:29 am | #

    Go goddamn Walky!

  36. wheeeee
    wheeeee
    July 17, 2014 at 9:16 am | #

    I just spent the last hours reading all the strips from beginning to now. Cannot wait how this continues…

  37. Ikaru
    Ikaru
    July 17, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

    Walky rules

  38. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 17, 2014 at 9:45 am | #

    Next up: Walky and Sarah unite to form a drama-free dorm.

    Next next up: Walky and Sarah split due to differences on the topic of “girls are icky/Walky is an idiot” and form two different drama free dorms consisting only of themselves.

    Next next next up: Sarah’s and Walky’s dorms fall apart due to internal drama. They seamlessly get back to the fold.

  39. Swerve
    Swerve
    July 17, 2014 at 11:32 am | #

    ……………help…………………………

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      July 17, 2014 at 11:36 am | #

      Get….help…for…Billie!

      …..And Swerve!

  40. JimmyMcNuggets
    JimmyMcNuggets
    July 17, 2014 at 6:53 pm | #

    Keg stands: the most convenient way to “accidentally” flash some frat boys.

  41. Lord Geovanni
    Lord Geovanni
    July 18, 2014 at 10:45 am | #

    Is Ruth still mad that Billie made her quit beer but was still drinking and not sharing… That seems lake ages ago so maybe 3 days or a week

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