Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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November 23, 2023

Weirdest

by David M Willis on August 3, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit

└ Tags: amazi-girl, jacob, sarah

Discussion (136) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. An Average Loser
    An Average Loser
    August 3, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Good job, Amazi-Girl.

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    August 3, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    “WHY HELLO TO YOU TOO”

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      August 3, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      oh shit the twist is “wait that was permanent marker?? hashtag whoops”

      • belak
        belak
        August 3, 2014 at 2:18 pm | #

        The funny thing is that you can remove permanent marker from whiteboards by first writing over it with dry erace.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          August 3, 2014 at 4:45 pm | #

          which was only mentioned like a TRILLION TIMES when the comic first ran

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          August 5, 2014 at 3:31 pm | #

          Determined to beat the stain on the ground where that horse died huh?

  3. Atomix26
    Atomix26
    August 3, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    LEL!!

    • Felix
      Felix
      August 3, 2014 at 1:18 pm | #

      Trelelelel, hmm, nope…

      …trololol’s still the best.

  4. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 3, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Vibesabre > Amazi-Girl

    • An Average Loser
      An Average Loser
      August 3, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      hehe, Vibesabers. May the Vibes be with you. . .

      • King G
        King G
        August 3, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

        *singing* I’m picking up good vibrations…

      • zmm
        zmm
        August 3, 2014 at 6:11 pm | #

        Vibesabers were a thing in Knights of the old republic games haha

        • Drakey
          Drakey
          August 3, 2014 at 7:59 pm | #

          Not quite. They were vibroswords. A lightsaber resistant sword with a high-powered vibration motor in it so that the many, many people… the three people on your party who are neither Jedi nor droids… don’t get slashed to ribbons by the waves of Jedi/dark Jedi you fight. Of course, it was really only smart to leave one or two of those three using the vibroswords, so effectively everyone who wasn’t a Jedi was stuck taking the blaster train to stupidtown.

          The weird thing is that this is one of my favorite games ever, despite the blaster train to stupidtown.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      August 3, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      AmaziGirl fighting Joyce with vibe sabers?

      • Lord Geovanni
        Lord Geovanni
        August 5, 2014 at 12:21 pm | #

        First one to penertration wins

    • Saintslayer
      Saintslayer
      August 3, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      The Sith Lord Darth Clitoris.

      • An Average Loser
        An Average Loser
        August 3, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Jedi Knight Ovary-Wand Kenobi

        • Cheryl
          Cheryl
          August 3, 2014 at 5:03 am | #

          HAHAHA STAP!!!

        • Dibullba
          Dibullba
          August 3, 2014 at 10:56 am | #

          Jamin the Butt

          • Baf
            Baf
            August 3, 2014 at 2:21 pm | #

            Lube Skywanker?

            • BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
              BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
              August 3, 2014 at 2:48 pm | #

              Princess Playa-Laya

              • Jen Aside
                Jen Aside
                August 3, 2014 at 4:46 pm | #

                Han(djob) Solo

                • Usayasha
                  Usayasha
                  August 3, 2014 at 11:49 pm | #

                  Chewbuttplug

      • Aeron
        Aeron
        August 3, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

        I can only assume that women name their dongs the same way men name their bongs.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        August 3, 2014 at 6:30 pm | #

        How many Internets can I award for this? because just one seem insufficient.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 3, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      (nerd voice) Uh, excuse me, but when Amazi-Girl fought Vibesabre in issue #66, she clearly won, and the only reason Vibesabre got away is that Amazi-Girl had to go help Dina-Soar with Fazalicious. And although Vibesabre won in issue #78, it’s a technicality because she was backed up by FundiMary and Amazi-Girl was tired from killing spiders all night.

      God, do your research, people.

      • nekobawt
        nekobawt
        August 3, 2014 at 2:02 am | #

        gawd, i know, all these fake fans getting their watered down continuity from the amazi-movies, not like us REAL fans who’ve been reading the comics for 50 years. posers!

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          August 3, 2014 at 6:03 pm | #

          You’re just upset that us “fake” fans get to experience so much more awesome ALL AT ONCE rather than having to wait for installments every month for fifty years like SUCKERS!

          Like the movies would have gotten made if they thought they wouldn’t attract so many new “fake” fans to jump on the bandwagon and buy up their overstock merch! ;P

      • Dean
        Dean
        August 3, 2014 at 9:52 pm | #

        Amazi-Girl had to go help Dina-Soar with Fazalicious

        Now I’m picturing Faz in green trunks and ankle wings, Sub-Mariner style.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          August 5, 2014 at 11:54 am | #

          Trunks? Try speedo.

  5. Cthulhu's Intern
    Cthulhu's Intern
    August 3, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    So wait, in the first panel, Amazi-Girl is climbing up that building. Did she climb up it just so she could jump off it behind Sarah?

    • Camachri
      Camachri
      August 3, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Amazi-girl always makes a grand entrance. Always.

    • Matt
      Matt
      August 3, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Yes. Otherwise you don’t get full extension on the cape.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        August 3, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        And that’s necessary to intimidate criminals, as they are a superstitious, cowardly lot.

        • Saintslayer
          Saintslayer
          August 3, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          If you ain’t gettin’ cape you ain’t gettin’ nuthin’.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            August 5, 2014 at 3:34 pm | #

            Just be sure to stay away from airplanes.

        • StClair
          StClair
          August 3, 2014 at 5:55 am | #

          They plan and plot, but they always get caught!

    • Liahansen
      Liahansen
      August 3, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Parkour parkour

      • Saintslayer
        Saintslayer
        August 3, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        “Did somebody say PARKOUR CARS?”

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        August 3, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        Parkour!

        • roguebfl
          roguebfl
          August 3, 2014 at 1:50 am | #

          Funny you don’t look like Harry 😉

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      August 3, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Whoa, you’ve got an eye for detail. Thanks for pointing it out.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 3, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      She did it specifically so she could destroy her kneecaps when she landed and make Sarah feel super guilty.

      • Bill
        Bill
        August 3, 2014 at 3:07 am | #

        The cape must function as a parachute, because otherwise that was at least a 15 or 20 foot leap from the top of the Sample Gates to the pavement below.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        August 5, 2014 at 3:35 pm | #

        Well, she is Amazi-Girl, after all. I know if I tried to jump from that height, I would have several broken bones.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 3, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      AG does fight for JUSTICE after all.

      http://youtu.be/J1g4tC4It7k?t=38s

      • An Average Loser
        An Average Loser
        August 3, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        hehe, Slayers.

    • showler
      showler
      August 3, 2014 at 11:27 am | #

      Dramatic entrances are great cardio.

  6. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    August 3, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Amazi-Girl pauses, then puts the Condom Cap on her head. “How about now?” she asks.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 3, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “Joyce rocked it better”

  7. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    August 3, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    I dunno, I think the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen is a college student wearing suspenders.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 3, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      PARKER, I WANT THIS AMAZI-GIRL STORY ON MY DESK BY MONDAY!

      • Ivan
        Ivan
        August 3, 2014 at 10:42 am | #

        I actually have a web version of the original Spiderman – a photo (still could have been Photoshopped, but appears authentic) – in the original drawings his name was Peter Palmer!! If that isn’t the best Stan Lee joke ever, I don’t know what is!

        If I could find it on the various HDs, I’d link to it.

        • Swerve
          Swerve
          August 3, 2014 at 5:22 pm | #

          Peter Palmer was indeed an authentic goof by Stan “The Man” Lee. See also Dr. Bob Banner (which was retconed into Dr. Robert Bruce Banner).

          Dan Slott reused the Peter Palmer name in “Superior Spider-Man”; when Doc Ock was trying to erase Peter’s memories, at one point Peter could no longer remember his own last name. Peter impotently cries out, “I’m Peter… Palmer?” Of course the whole wiping Peter’s memories didn’t work out so how for Otto in the end.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 3, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      AG wears suspenders under her costume? How fettastic!

    • CarlaGriffin
      CarlaGriffin
      August 3, 2014 at 1:45 am | #

      Clearly you haven’t been around many art school hipsters.

      • Jody
        Jody
        August 3, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

        Agreed, even I have a pair of Batman suspenders.

  8. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    August 3, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    A one-night-stand shall now be called a ding-dong-ditch.

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      August 3, 2014 at 10:47 am | #

      Oh that’s good.

      THREAD WINNER!!!

    • Whittier
      Whittier
      August 3, 2014 at 11:05 am | #

      Ding dong, the ditch is in bed.

  9. Khaner
    Khaner
    August 3, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    So, who walked out with the strap-on.

  10. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 3, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    This is the perfect comic for people to start one without context.

    • Catullus
      Catullus
      August 3, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I feel like Joyce’s nightmare sequence still tops it.

  11. Morgan
    Morgan
    August 3, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Amazi-Girl, we’re ALL the whiteboard dingdong bandit.

    • newllend
      newllend
      August 3, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      8======D

      ( I she will never know.)

      • Morgan
        Morgan
        August 3, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        I take it you’re also the Ass Crack Bandit?

        • newllend
          newllend
          August 3, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

          Don’t mix me up with that novest.

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            August 3, 2014 at 7:16 pm | #

            Ok, I confess! I became a master of the ass crack in college. It’s just too easy to make use of that pipe character. (_|_)

        • Bill
          Bill
          August 3, 2014 at 3:16 am | #

          I AM ̶S̶P̶A̶R̶T̶A̶C̶U̶S̶ THE WHITEBOARD DINGDONG BANDIT!!

  12. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    August 3, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Also Jacob you’re under arrest for walking while sexy!

  13. newllend
    newllend
    August 3, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Oh you’ve seen nothing yet Sarah.

  14. Nono
    Nono
    August 3, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Sarah’s comfortable enough around Jacob to talk about her sex toys.

    It’s quite impressive really.

    • Saintslayer
      Saintslayer
      August 3, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      Yeah wait, what?
      I didn’t even consider that.

    • MrSirk
      MrSirk
      August 3, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

      That kind of slipped right on by although I think she’s okay since it’s under the pretense of Joyce weirdness they bonded over.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      August 3, 2014 at 9:49 am | #

      Sarah seems pretty filter-free. Though yeah maybe she’s subtly sending a message of “I’m a lady who’s comfortable with my sexuality.”

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        August 3, 2014 at 11:33 am | #

        And definitely enjoys a bit of the long-and-firm, know what I mean wink and a nudge say no more!

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      August 3, 2014 at 5:29 pm | #

      Yup. I mean, I was just joking when I said it would make a great story to tell Jacob, and here we are.

    • Katie
      Katie
      August 3, 2014 at 9:45 pm | #

      That’s what I was wondering, too. I mean, maybe she doesn’t realize she’s inadvertently telling him about her sex toys?

      • Ivan
        Ivan
        August 3, 2014 at 11:56 pm | #

        Either she invites him over to sniff all her toys – or they are officially IN THE FRIEND ZONE – never to escape!!!

  15. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    August 3, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    Y halo thar, Jacob.

    Hell, Sarah and Amazigirl, too. Lot of gorgeous to go around.

  16. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    August 3, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    … There’s probably already vibrators made to look like lightsabers out there, isn’t there?

    • roguebfl
      roguebfl
      August 3, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

      not a vibrator but have you seen the fleshlights?

      • Bill
        Bill
        August 3, 2014 at 3:13 am | #

        Of course.  And Randall Monroe already went there on xkcd a week or two ago.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      August 3, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

      Based on the lightsaber designs I’ve seen that sounds spectacularly uncomfortable. (Admittedly I’m not one to know, but seriously have you looked at those things?)

      • Ivan
        Ivan
        August 3, 2014 at 10:59 am | #

        Build one? — Here you go!! Take a look at the tooling inspection view — I don’t see anything that resembles “what I’m used to” inside this thing!!

        http://bit.ly/1lpGWDZ

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      August 3, 2014 at 2:37 am | #

      Almost certainly, given that I’ve seen ones with Hello Kitty stamped on the side in sidebar ads on comics.

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        August 3, 2014 at 7:18 pm | #

        I’ve seen ones where Hello Kitty is…more than just stamped on the side, at any rate. ^^; http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Kitty-Personal-Vibrating-Massager/dp/B0026AC5SC

    • NotFred
      NotFred
      August 3, 2014 at 4:24 am | #

      I’m your daddy.

      • NotFred
        NotFred
        August 3, 2014 at 4:59 am | #

        Also it seems that life is a comic.

  17. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    August 3, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    And she didn’t even mention Joyce stuck it up her nose.

    And I guess I was right, Amazi-Girl is just going to keep harassing people until someone confesses.

    • paradoxius
      paradoxius
      August 3, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

      Guess and check. Works in math class, works in criminal investigations. Same thing about bribery and clever use of reflective surfaces.

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        August 3, 2014 at 3:09 am | #

        I prefer guess, check, stab and check again, I mean, who wants to come back around to the same obvious suspect like a procedural cop drama?

        Less effective with math class… apparently only sunday schools want papers that holy.

  18. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    August 3, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Joyce can’t help it picking up good vibrators.

    • newllend
      newllend
      August 3, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      You think she would know the difference between a toy and a plastic dick by now.

      • Katrika
        Katrika
        August 3, 2014 at 1:37 am | #

        She doesn’t even know what a penis looks like! That’s the problem!

  19. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    August 3, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    Ah, recounting the vibrator incident. Keeping up the Joyce topic while potentially piquing Jacob’s sexual interest.

  20. Edster
    Edster
    August 3, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

    So she is just openly talking about it with a guy.

  21. Archivist
    Archivist
    August 3, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

    I love how Jacob just has glasses now simply because it made him even hotter (and possibly balances the be-glasses’d gender ratio).

  22. meghantheworldeater
    meghantheworldeater
    August 3, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

    I just spent more time than I care to admit on Willis’ tumblr just to see if the original sneak peek of the second panel had Amazigirl in the background and I just missed it the first time.
    And the answer is no.
    http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/image/83529565791

  23. Juliecat
    Juliecat
    August 3, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

    “Are you the Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit?” is either the worst or the best pickup line ever.

  24. maarvarq
    maarvarq
    August 3, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

    “Don’t you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.”

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      August 3, 2014 at 11:53 am | #

      Well, that was a good hour-long trip into nostalgia. Thank you.

  25. Bagge
    Bagge
    August 3, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

    Nice try, Sarah, but Amazi-girl is immune to criticism.

  26. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    August 3, 2014 at 2:17 am | #

    Maaaan, I wish the college I went to had its own superhero(ine)…..

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      August 3, 2014 at 2:53 am | #

      There was one made up for my college newspaper: the Scrounger. He was great.

  27. City Guard
    City Guard
    August 3, 2014 at 3:12 am | #

    STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

    • Darth Cariss
      Darth Cariss
      August 3, 2014 at 3:42 am | #

      You violated my mother!

  28. thatindianguy
    thatindianguy
    August 3, 2014 at 3:47 am | #

    Is Amber just questioning random people now ?
    And how does an 18 year old get the skills to run around like that without breaking her neck.

    • Daddy
      Daddy
      August 3, 2014 at 4:17 am | #

      Oooh, Ooh.. I know that one.. She’s told us that before.. Here’s to hoping that worked..

      • Daddy
        Daddy
        August 3, 2014 at 4:24 am | #

        You know what.. It’s too 4:18 AM for this. Someone more competent should really do links. Anyhow.. Track & Field. NES. Powerpad. Mentioned it while being chased previously by.. I think it was Dorothy & Walky? Here’s a link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Track_%26_Field_%28video_game%29 It’s been more than fifteen years since I touched HTML and I’m not spending the next 15 minutes remembering how to do something that I put away with DOS & navigating the web through LYNX II.

    • NotFred
      NotFred
      August 3, 2014 at 4:32 am | #

      She is following the lead Sierra gave her.

    • 4th Dimension
      4th Dimension
      August 3, 2014 at 4:38 am | #

      Not random. Others have pointed out that they saw Sarah drawing dicks on Joyce’s whiteboard (remember that?). So she is checking out a lead.

  29. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    August 3, 2014 at 4:33 am | #

    Jacob has obviously seen weirder.

    Amazi-girl is obviously all out of good leads :/

  30. Sam
    Sam
    August 3, 2014 at 4:41 am | #

    How much influence does Amazi-Girl have? She can get people to stop just by saying ‘halt’ despite having no real authority. XD

    • Bill
      Bill
      August 3, 2014 at 6:20 am | #

      It’s society’s innate deference to an authority figure, whatever it might be, combined with a natural sense of curiosity.  Someone says something in a commanding tone of voice and one’s first instinct is to stop and check it out, if for no other reason than to determine if the command was meant for you.

      • Bill
        Bill
        August 3, 2014 at 6:24 am | #

        That’s also why the oldest trick in the book still works.

  31. Cale
    Cale
    August 3, 2014 at 6:31 am | #

    My mum claimed I sucker punched a bully unconscious walking home and kept going on like nothing happened when I was six. That is only the fifth weirdest thing to happen to me.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      August 3, 2014 at 3:38 pm | #

      What’s the second-weirdest?

  32. AustKyzor
    AustKyzor
    August 3, 2014 at 6:46 am | #

    Channelling your inner Batman, are we?

  33. Jackson
    Jackson
    August 3, 2014 at 7:47 am | #

    Still super-worried re: Billie, FWIW.

  34. creatorx2
    creatorx2
    August 3, 2014 at 9:06 am | #

    for real though, jumping from that distance with that technique would harm the living fuck out of your feet and shins

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      August 3, 2014 at 3:37 pm | #

      She has really great boots, and lives in a comic strip. She’ll be fine.

  35. Emily
    Emily
    August 3, 2014 at 9:13 am | #

    I’m just here for Jacob in suspenders appreciation.

  36. Mustachio
    Mustachio
    August 3, 2014 at 9:55 am | #

    http://nerf-this.com/comic/03-10-10/

  37. Yossarian Duck
    Yossarian Duck
    August 3, 2014 at 11:03 am | #

    I’m just impressed Sarah is so comfortable talking about her vibrator with Jacob.

  38. Dante
    Dante
    August 3, 2014 at 11:29 am | #

    Why do I get the feeling the dong bandit won’t be found?

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      August 3, 2014 at 5:26 pm | #

      The Bandit is a state of mind, that’s why. Everyone and no one is the Bandit. Well, obviously someone is the actual Bandit. Hmm, this looks more and more like a job for Team Rodimus! Although in a pinch I guess we’ll go with the hero we have in the comic.

  39. Alexx
    Alexx
    August 3, 2014 at 12:25 pm | #

    Then Amazi-Girl pulls out a clipboard, makes a check mark, and continues on her way.

  40. Kathleen
    Kathleen
    August 3, 2014 at 1:33 pm | #

    That’s pretty brave, mentioning your vibrators to a boy you like. I mean, they’re not that close of friends yet, I think.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 3, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

      What guy can’t handle the knowledge that a woman likes to masterbate?

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        August 3, 2014 at 3:35 pm | #

        I guy who isn’t worth Sarah Clinton’s time. 🙂

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          August 3, 2014 at 3:36 pm | #

          (*A* guy, I mean. Sarah also has no time for typoes)

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        August 3, 2014 at 5:22 pm | #

        Masturbation is a completely normal thing that people may or may not do, and that’s up to them and OK.

        I would still totally be an uncomfortable, probably blushing mess if the topic came up (short of dating whoever was discussing it, and I’d still probably be pretty bad).

    • ZORK
      ZORK
      August 3, 2014 at 5:53 pm | #

      I’m also surprise that Sarah does tell that story to Jacob. However, I think that is also a sign of trust/friendship from her. While Sarah isn’t all that shy or prude usually, she was kinda sheepish around Jacob at first. The fact that she’s now totally comfortable talking about her me-time-tools with him indicates the two get very well along now.

    • Quinctia
      Quinctia
      August 3, 2014 at 6:49 pm | #

      I could see Joyce’s behavior, being so bizarre, making it so Sarah just had to tell somebody about it, even if she’s not normally inclined to talk about her toys. Granted, I’m pretty sure she mentioned the fact she had them to Joyce, at one point, so I think she’s pretty open about the fact.

  41. TsunamiJane
    TsunamiJane
    August 3, 2014 at 6:23 pm | #

    JACOB WITH GLASSES

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