Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

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i yawned like thirty times while drawing this strip, damn you panel two
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September 20, 2023

Pact

by David M Willis on October 10, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - When Somebody Loved Me

└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (235) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    October 10, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Firing: a fate worse than sexy lesbian suicide

    • Barabajagala
      Barabajagala
      October 10, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Sexy lesbian suicide : A fate better than most suicides

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        October 10, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

        I wonder if it involves scissors somehow…

        • Hoodiecrow
          Hoodiecrow
          October 10, 2014 at 2:07 am | #

          Now that’s just horrible.

          Do continue.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            October 10, 2014 at 3:13 am | #

            I would but there might be children around. 😛

            • Lume
              Lume
              October 10, 2014 at 6:25 am | #

              (They cover the scissors with dildos)

            • Minomelo
              Minomelo
              October 10, 2014 at 1:36 pm | #

              As long as they don’t run with them, they should be fine!

              • Alchemyprime
                Alchemyprime
                October 10, 2014 at 2:03 pm | #

                “Don’t run with dildos” the life advice you never get until it’s too late.

                • legobil
                  legobil
                  August 6, 2015 at 8:53 am | #

                  The life advice Joyce never got.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 10, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        Sexy Lesbian Suicide: One of the worst Sexy Lesbian activities, however.

        • Seerow
          Seerow
          October 10, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

          I’m hard pressed to think of other sexy lesbian activities that might be bad.

          • Sylvester Crow
            Sylvester Crow
            October 10, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

            Sexy lesbian genicide would be worse, way worse.

            • Usayasha
              Usayasha
              October 10, 2014 at 3:22 am | #

              Sexy lesbian homocide is bad as well, but also redundant if you’re of a mind for puns.

              • Pojo
                Pojo
                October 10, 2014 at 3:44 am | #

                You were supposed to scale up, not down. Sexy lesbian xenocide.

                • Kel
                  Kel
                  October 10, 2014 at 11:10 am | #

                  You’re right. Xenocide was terrible.

                  Damn you, Orson Scott Card!

                • John
                  John
                  October 10, 2014 at 11:13 am | #

                  I’m pretty sure I saw than movie on TBS at like two in the morning.

                • xKiv
                  xKiv
                  October 10, 2014 at 6:30 pm | #

                  Sexy lesbian shortage.

                • Lume
                  Lume
                  October 10, 2014 at 9:33 pm | #

                  Sexy lesbian omnicide

                • The Other Mike
                  The Other Mike
                  February 2, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

                  Anything you have to construct a Sexy Lesbian Death Star to do.

            • Andrew
              Andrew
              October 10, 2014 at 5:00 pm | #

              Would Sexy Lesbian Genocide be a Genocide perpetrated against Sexy Lesbians, or a Genocide perpetrated by Sexy Lesbians against some other party?

              Either way, not good.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            October 10, 2014 at 1:40 am | #

            pogo scissoring? That sounds painful, at the least.

            • Hoodiecrow
              Hoodiecrow
              October 10, 2014 at 2:08 am | #

              That was the reason a friend of mine and her girlfriend split up.

          • Kam
            Kam
            October 11, 2014 at 7:16 am | #

            sexy lesbian shortage would be damn bad too.

    • MrSirk
      MrSirk
      October 10, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

      Remember kids lesbianism doesn’t have to lead to suicide regardless to how sexy it might be.

    • Ben Grahm
      Ben Grahm
      October 10, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

      could be worse. You could be…. *expellled*

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        October 10, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

        He needs to straighten out his priorities.

      • RAZ
        RAZ
        October 10, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

        Yes, Expelled

  2. Camachri
    Camachri
    October 10, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Aww, this is too cute. Now GO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP, DAMMIT. BOTH OF YOU.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 10, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

      Get sexy lesbian professional help!

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        October 10, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

        So…Make it a threeway, basically?

      • Darkproject8
        Darkproject8
        October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        I’m sure Leslie is around the campus somewhere…

        • Rokk
          Rokk
          October 10, 2014 at 4:35 am | #

          Or there’s Daisy. I think that’s her name. The editor of the campus paper. Not sure if she’d be considered professional though…

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          October 10, 2014 at 9:02 am | #

          *In her office, Leslie’s head pops up*

          Sexy Lesbian senses… tingling…

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            October 10, 2014 at 12:57 pm | #

            Gah! I know I’m the only one who read that and thought of Zlay from Strawberry Shake Sweet. And that’s sad >_<

      • Barf Ninjason
        Barf Ninjason
        October 10, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        If’n I were one of them sexy lesbians (ed. note: if only) I would affix the qualifier sexy lesbian” to everything I ever did. “I’ll be a little late to the meeting; I have to get my car a sexy lesbian oil change first.”

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          October 10, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          “One sexy lesbian latte, please. With whipped cream.”

          • BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
            BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
            October 10, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

            My boss and I have a sexy lesbian one-on-one meeting once a month…

          • Dean
            Dean
            October 10, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

            “I can’t come to work tomorrow, I’m getting a sexy lesbian root canal”

            That qualifier just makes everything better, doesn’t it?

            • Leorale
              Leorale
              October 10, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

              It works with fortune cookies too, just like “…in bed” and “…except in bed” and “…with Batman”.

              • BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
                BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
                October 10, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

                “All things are difficult before they are sexy lesbian easy.”

              • Mr. Bulbmin
                Mr. Bulbmin
                October 10, 2014 at 2:44 am | #

                . . . I’m hard-pressed to combine those phrases. “Unless you’re sexy lesbians in bed with Batman?” That just doesn’t make sense.

                • Disloyal Subject
                  Disloyal Subject
                  October 10, 2014 at 3:11 am | #

                  Of course it does. He’s Batman.

                • Noah Brand
                  Noah Brand
                  October 10, 2014 at 6:51 am | #

                  He practiced hard to be the best at EVERYTHING, right? Presumably that includes lesbianism.

                • Opus the Poet
                  Opus the Poet
                  October 10, 2014 at 10:40 am | #

                  Guys can lesbian, too. Makes them really popular in some gatherings.

              • Jerden
                Jerden
                October 10, 2014 at 1:17 pm | #

                And “…in my pants.”

                • xKiv
                  xKiv
                  October 10, 2014 at 6:32 pm | #

                  , from a great height.

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            October 10, 2014 at 1:23 am | #

            This is my new favourite thing.

          • Michael Lanting
            Michael Lanting
            October 10, 2014 at 6:55 am | #

            Why is the cream whipped? Is it a sexy lesbian SM latte?

  3. Raine
    Raine
    October 10, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Ohp. Characters are happy.

    Guess someone’s dying this chapter.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      I haven’t seen Dina in a while.

      • Hoboturtle
        Hoboturtle
        October 10, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        Hahahhahaha… oh wait he’s right, where is she?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          October 10, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          You have to guess which door she’s behind.

          • Ancestral Hamster
            Ancestral Hamster
            October 10, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

            “You were there?”
            “Always.”

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              October 10, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

              That line would have worked better if I was using my Matoi grav.

              • Ancestral Hamster
                Ancestral Hamster
                October 10, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

                Yes, but you gave me the right feed line.

                Of course, there’s, “Sister shows off a little.”

        • buckybone
          buckybone
          October 10, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

          Right behind you.

          RAWR

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            October 10, 2014 at 9:05 am | #

            Clever girl.

      • Vangeln
        Vangeln
        October 10, 2014 at 4:26 pm | #

        We haven’t seen Blaine neither.

    • thebooksluts
      thebooksluts
      October 10, 2014 at 2:45 pm | #

      I’m not convinced that Ruth is happy at all.. in fact, she seems pretty “WTF did I just do” about all of this.

  4. LeslieBean4Shizzle
    LeslieBean4Shizzle
    October 10, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Hurrah for sexy lesbian suicide pacts!

    • Barf Ninjason
      Barf Ninjason
      October 10, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      This particular lesbian suicide pact probably involved too much boozy farting while asleep to entirely qualify as sexy.

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        October 10, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        Nothing wrong with a little fartin’. Happens to everyone – even sexy bisexuals in a lesbian relationship.

  5. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    October 10, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Ya know, it’s probably a bad thing, but Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact just has such an awesome ring to it.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I used to play bass for Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact.

      • Ancestral Hamster
        Ancestral Hamster
        October 10, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        So you were the 5th Lesbian! Do you feel bitter for leaving the group just a few months before they became “bigger than Jesus” and enjoyed an unprecedented level of success?

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        October 10, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        I was listening to Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact before they went all commercial.

        • MrSirk
          MrSirk
          October 10, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

          Yeah they really lost their touch and started farting out all that generic “up in the club” dance music.

          • BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
            BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
            October 10, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

            Yeah. “Walk Like a Babylonian” was a complete sell-out cut. I couldn’t even believe they were the same group that did that amazing cover of “I’m on Fire”.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      That’s the name for 4 of my screen plays.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      October 10, 2014 at 3:31 pm | #

      Yeah, it needs to be a book name, or a chapter name, or a Willis-porn name, or something.

  6. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    October 10, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    A suicide pact? Now I’m getting Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei flashbacks.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I’m in Dispair!

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        October 10, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        …The fact that lesbian suicide pacts can lead to job loss has left me in despair!

        • Tunaro
          Tunaro
          October 10, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          The fact this isn’t a Slipshine has left me in despair!

          • Ancestral Hamster
            Ancestral Hamster
            October 10, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

            The fact that life does not follow the plot of shounen manga has left me in despair!

            • Sylvester Crow
              Sylvester Crow
              October 10, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

              The fact that shounen anime often doesn’t depict sexy.lesbian suicide pacts has left me in despair! (Now we’re back on track)

              • Hoodiecrow
                Hoodiecrow
                October 10, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

                I always thought despair came before sexy lesbian suicide pacts.

                • AustKyzor
                  AustKyzor
                  October 10, 2014 at 9:02 am | #

                  The fact that it doesn’t has left me in despair!

  7. Superheadache
    Superheadache
    October 10, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    No, no suicide pact for you both! Get help and be cute together!

  8. Katie
    Katie
    October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    More like Sexy Lesbian Self-destruction Promise.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      October 10, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

      I think that’s the name of my local ramen shop.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        October 10, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

        No wait, it’s an attack from Sailor Moon.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          October 10, 2014 at 1:43 am | #

          Sailor Neptune…

        • Angel H.
          Angel H.
          October 10, 2014 at 7:47 am | #

          Can’t unsee! Then again, why would I want to?

  9. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Every now and then Ruth manages to say something that totally cracks me up, despite my complete dislike of this incarnation of the character.

  10. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 10, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    The best kind of suicide pact.

    • newllend
      newllend
      October 10, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      No it isn’t, because you know its not going to last.

      • newllend
        newllend
        October 10, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        People die in suicide pacts.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          October 10, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          People dye in suicide blonde pacts.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            October 10, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

            people dye in suicidal blonde packs.

          • StClair
            StClair
            October 10, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

            But they get cured in concrete blonde pacts.

          • Masterofbones
            Masterofbones
            October 10, 2014 at 3:36 am | #

            But do they die when they are killed?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 10, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        I think it lasts forever.

  11. Kodra
    Kodra
    October 10, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I think Ruth is actually momentarily happy, which is why she is suddenly kinda nervous about her future. She’s done enough that she ought to have been fired already.

  12. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    October 10, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Ruth, you’re an ass

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Really. I think Billie thinks that she’s the TITS.

      • Emperor Kiva
        Emperor Kiva
        October 10, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Oh ha ha very funny

        • Aolbain
          Aolbain
          October 10, 2014 at 9:08 pm | #

          Yes, very 🙂

  13. Gigafreak
    Gigafreak
    October 10, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Ruth is more into murder-suicide. If Billie should commit suicide, Ruth will murder Billie’s death, thereby creating ZomBillie. In a world where people regularly wish they could hate each other to death, this will be the first time anyone has hated someone to life.

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      October 10, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      And Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa will write the resulting spin-off!

  14. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    October 10, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Oh David Willis, you always know-

    *YAWN*

    -how to cheer us up!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      October 10, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      I wish you would… *YAWN* …stop that, it’s… *YAWN* …catchy.

      • Emperor Kiva
        Emperor Kiva
        October 10, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        Emperor Kiva never….*YAWNS* DAMMIT!

  15. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    October 10, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    New band name: Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact.

    Maybe just Lesbian Suicide Pact. The first one’s a bit wordy for a band name…

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      October 10, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Damn, beat me to the “band name” idea.
      And I don’t think it’s too long. You could always abbreviate it SLSP.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        October 10, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

        And how would you pronounce it? “Slip”? As in, slipshine?

        Is Willis giving us unbelievably subtle foreshadowing knowing we’d eventually get to band names, or am I just ridiculously tired? I mean, it’s probably the latter but he’s certainly capable of the former…

  16. derick
    derick
    October 10, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact is the name of my new band.

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      October 10, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      pff, eveyone knows “dot tumblr dot com” is the new “band name”

      Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact dot tumblr dot com… probably already taken

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 10, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        It is not.

  17. -Sentinel-
    -Sentinel-
    October 10, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Ruth looks quite different without her glasses.

  18. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    October 10, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Yes, Ruth, THAT’S what you need to be fired over. Not the threats, not the violence, not that theft and sundry felonies, not even the alcohol, nope, this is your biggest problem.

    (Granted, the whole Billie thing IS worthy of getting fired over, but still.)

    • Catullus
      Catullus
      October 10, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      Give Ruth some credit! It was only a few felonies.

  19. nothri
    nothri
    October 10, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Billie: Suicide Pacts? No, no, that’s silly.

    Ruth: Your license got taken away, right?

    Billie: Uh-huh.

    Ruth: So its really unlikely that you’ll decide to drive drunk into the path of an oncoming 18-Wheeler, right?

    Billie: …..uh….I think so? Where the hell did that come from?

    Ruth: I dunno. It just suddenly felt really, really important to ask about all of a sudden…

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      October 10, 2014 at 2:03 am | #

      No regrets!

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      October 10, 2014 at 10:05 pm | #

      No out-references. Besides, had to be the two most DamnYouWillis moments, the first one having no regrets and the second one being such a blast.

      (And now all you virgins are going to have to go find out who died and where.)

  20. Aubri
    Aubri
    October 10, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Ruthie, baby, shut up and go down.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      October 10, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      That’s what she said.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      You really know how to sweet talk a girl.

  21. newllend
    newllend
    October 10, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    A suicide pact that’s working itself really slowly.

  22. neeks
    neeks
    October 10, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Well I can see how the campus management would prefer to have employees who plan to stick around, yeah, but I would hope the “lesbian” part isn’t what Ruth expect to get fired for. Idk if an RA dating one of “her students” would count as sexual harassment, but there’s a worrisome power imbalance happening here that I’m sure commenters have addressed before.

    Ruth does seem to be working her way toward choosing her job over Billie though and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

    • AngierHafai
      AngierHafai
      October 10, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

      As a RA at a large public university, the problem (at least at my university) with Ruth and Billie’s relationship wouldn’t be the fact that it is homosexual relationship but because she is in a relationship with a resident. She is in a position of power and (at least at my university, again) has access to a key that could let her into Billie’s room.

      That being said, the threats and all that other stuff would also be grounds for firing too. However, in this comic universe, who knows what policy is? Only David! I just want these two to be happy.

    • Thomas64
      Thomas64
      October 10, 2014 at 4:48 am | #

      I’m not familiar with the RA concept… Not something I remember from college back in Europe. Is this a full-time job, or is the typical RA a college student themselves?

      • LWS
        LWS
        October 10, 2014 at 8:02 am | #

        They are college students. My older daughter was an RA as an undergrad, spent 2 years in charge of 40 upperclassmen. My younger daughter was the graduate assistant who oversaw the RAs for the 3 dorms on her campus.

      • AngierHafai
        AngierHafai
        October 11, 2014 at 3:33 pm | #

        Almost always these days are they college students. In the past it wasn’t this way but the move this changed because residents usually trust and relate to their peers better.
        At my university it is considered a 20-hour job.

  23. Rosicrucian
    Rosicrucian
    October 10, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    I wonder if Leslie’s grad studies are aimed at becoming a sexy lesbian psychiatrist.

    • Clif
      Clif
      October 10, 2014 at 1:36 am | #

      We could start the Worldwide Internet Famous Sexy Lesbian Psychiatrists Mailorder School. In Froid we trust. Sanity is overrated. Special everyday on Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pacts.

  24. Clif
    Clif
    October 10, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    Grounds for firing? Only if they find out. And how would they find out? It’s not like anyone is going to come looking for Billie. Like the girl only has about two friends in the entire school.

    • MissQuinn
      MissQuinn
      October 10, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

      Yeah, it’s not like those two friends care or anything. Or having not seen her in some time and being aware that she’s going through some stuff would attempt to find her. Totally not a thing that could happen.

      • MrBurrows
        MrBurrows
        October 10, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

        And they’re totally not going to ask her RA for help in their fear.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          October 10, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

          Well, at least they probably won’t shin-kick their way in and find them half-naked in bed together.

          Walky: “Dammit, Billie, all you had to do was answer ONE TEXT and I could still be asleep right now!!”

          • John
            John
            October 10, 2014 at 11:31 am | #

            BILLIE: “My choices were text you or try to lick Ruth’s freckles off. I think I made the right decision.”

            WALKY: “Point taken. Sorry for the interruption and I think Dorothy’s got something on her thighs I need to go help her with…”

            JOYCE: “She does? Where? I want to help her too!”

            • Dr. Paul
              Dr. Paul
              October 10, 2014 at 5:51 pm | #

              +1

  25. BarGamer
    BarGamer
    October 10, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Sexy lesbian DRINKING pact. Much less depressing.

  26. John
    John
    October 10, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Ruth, I’m pretty sure everything you’ve done with regard to Billie since the beginning has been grounds for firing.

    • Kodra
      Kodra
      October 10, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      Yeah this is a point I find really interesting. I think Ruth just suddenly finds herself caring about what happens to her, because unlike Ruth we’ve seen in the entire length of the strip, this Ruth is actually happy.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        October 10, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

        I like this possibility a lot. Her mood is improved enough to allow her to imagine her future (other than relapse and death).

        • Clif
          Clif
          October 10, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

          Imagining her future of course leads to depression and drink.

          • Mr. Bulbmin
            Mr. Bulbmin
            October 10, 2014 at 2:50 am | #

            It’s a vicious cycle!
            Depression leads to drink, drink leads to Billie, Billie leads to revived love of life, love of life leads to considering the future, considering the future leads to depression.

    • gwalla
      gwalla
      October 10, 2014 at 3:08 am | #

      Not just with regard to Billie…

      • John
        John
        October 10, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

        Well, no, but there are at least a few things she’s done not in regards to Billie that aren’t firing offenses. Like awkward conversation with Amber after suplexing Blaine: totally doing her job!

  27. Dave
    Dave
    October 10, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    Fear of being fired didn’t stop her from drinking in a dry dorm, so…

  28. Flimsyfishy
    Flimsyfishy
    October 10, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    Oh Ruth, just make sure Billie keeps this quiet, and you’ll be fine.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      Just stick her in your cleavage again if she talks too much.

  29. Emoroffle
    Emoroffle
    October 10, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

    Now brush your teeth, then kiss. Morning breath sucks.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      October 10, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      Or at least use a mouthwash.

      • Emoroffle
        Emoroffle
        October 10, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

        They might use whiskey. Same active ingredient.

        • Koms
          Koms
          October 10, 2014 at 2:54 am | #

          Before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

          • Emoroffle
            Emoroffle
            October 10, 2014 at 10:30 pm | #

            That sounds painful. Does a bottle have any benefits compared to a toothbrush?

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            October 14, 2014 at 3:52 pm | #

            Ke$ha, is that you?

  30. Koms
    Koms
    October 10, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

    What is a sexy lesbian suicide pact? I like Ruth’s and Joyce’s eye color a lot.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      October 10, 2014 at 1:22 pm | #

      Exactly what it sounds like.

  31. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    October 10, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

    I wonder when Walky and gang will barge in and how will Joyce react?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

      She’ll turn so red and melt through the floor.

      • MissQuinn
        MissQuinn
        October 10, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

        HOMOSEXUAL ALCOHOL-FUELED PREMARITAL HANKPANKY!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          October 10, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

          Too wordy, how about GAY BOOZE-BASED HANKPANKY!

          • BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
            BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
            October 10, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

            Coochy-Hoochy Hanky-Panky!!!

            • MrBurrows
              MrBurrows
              October 10, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

              No, it should be Hoochy-Coochy, otherwise the hooch is coochy, and that wouldn’t taste right.

              • BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
                BalRog gets a "D"...and PASSES!!!
                October 10, 2014 at 1:56 am | #

                But Hoochy-coochy has a separate meaning that has nothing to do with alcohol.

                Okay, I’m going to go with my backup joke then:
                Shooter-Cooter Hanky-Panky

                • Kamino Neko
                  Kamino Neko
                  October 10, 2014 at 8:56 am | #

                  Boozy-Floozy?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              October 10, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

              +1

  32. Kerry
    Kerry
    October 10, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

    I am offended by how DAMN ADORABLE THESE TWO ARE

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      October 10, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

      JUST LOOKING FOR REASONS TO BE OFFENDED

      • nothri
        nothri
        October 10, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

        People yawning fills me with a murderous rage.

      • Malchus
        Malchus
        October 10, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

        The orange of Ruth’s shirt offends me.

      • Cephalo the Pod
        Cephalo the Pod
        October 10, 2014 at 8:35 am | #

        FUCK THE COLOUR GREEN.

        • Minomelo
          Minomelo
          October 10, 2014 at 1:38 pm | #

          GREEN IS NOT A CREATIVE COLOUR!

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        October 10, 2014 at 9:18 am | #

        God I hate love. And sweetness. And sexy lesbians, god those nauseate me. And what’s with all the boobs?? Worst comic EVAR!

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      October 10, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

      I was once offended by an offended person so I find that offensive.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        October 10, 2014 at 1:08 pm | #

        The best defense is a good offense

        Therefore if I offend enough people, I will be INVINCIBLE

      • Tenn
        Tenn
        October 10, 2014 at 2:40 pm | #

        I have never been offended in my whole life and so I find your being offended to be very offensive!

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          October 14, 2014 at 3:54 pm | #

          I am offended by people who have never been offended.

          And the Dutch.

  33. That Damn Rat
    That Damn Rat
    October 10, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

    A pact is only as good as the paper it’s written on, so as long as there’s nothing in writing Ruth, you’re in the clear.

  34. TheZachariah
    TheZachariah
    October 10, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

    You guys, stop! Sexy lesbian suicide pacts are not funn!……Okay, THIS one is, but that’s entirely beside the point!

    • TheZachariah
      TheZachariah
      October 10, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      *funny

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 10, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

      What about hetorosexual platonic suicide pacts, Cuz a lot of people seem to really think Romeo and Juliet is romantic for whatever reason?

      • Crumplepunch
        Crumplepunch
        October 10, 2014 at 1:23 am | #

        I think the people who think Romeo and Juliet are an ideally romantic couple are people who don’t actually know how it ends.

        Looking at you, Taylor Swift.

        • StClair
          StClair
          October 10, 2014 at 3:00 am | #

          Or are teenagers themselves, and just as stupid and hormonal.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          October 10, 2014 at 3:15 am | #

          To be fair, that was the popular view during the Romantic period.

          But then, the Romantics thought The Sorrows of Young Werther described an ideal to be emulated. The Romantics were dipshits.

          • David M Willis
            David M Willis
            October 10, 2014 at 2:47 pm | #

            Eh, hundreds of years ago you got to live to be like 25 anyway, so it’s much more worth it to go out super-dramatic with that in mind.

            • The Candyman
              The Candyman
              October 10, 2014 at 3:39 pm | #

              That’s actually something of a myth: life expectancies in the past were low mostly because there was so much child mortality going around, lowering the average. If you managed to make it to 25 you could expect to live to a respectably old age so long as you dodged disease and war.

              • David M Willis
                David M Willis
                October 10, 2014 at 4:06 pm | #

                Fine, then they were both in crazy violent mob families intent on killing each other!

              • JWLM
                JWLM
                October 10, 2014 at 10:13 pm | #

                Welllllll…sort of

                Median life expectancy was even more correlated with social class during the Renaissance than it is now. A peasant would live about 40 years, while a nobleman would live somewhat longer. (And the gendered forms of the noun were entirely conscious here — childbirth was a quick route to the grave.)

        • neeks
          neeks
          October 10, 2014 at 12:35 pm | #

          Agh how I hate that song…it’s not bad enough she misinterpreted Romeo and Juliet, she had to throw in a reference to “the scarlet letter” in the song, which leads me to believe she just picked a few books from a high school summer reading list and wrote a song about them without bothering to actually read them.

          • John
            John
            October 10, 2014 at 1:53 pm | #

            To be fair, if the alternative is reading The Scarlet Letter…

          • vlademir1
            vlademir1
            October 10, 2014 at 2:33 pm | #

            So she basically wrote a song that plays to her audience? Sounds better than most of the music industry anymore.

      • John
        John
        October 10, 2014 at 11:44 am | #

        I always figured that Romeo and Juliet was supposed to be an object lesson in how being a stupid hormonal teenager was gonna get you killed, and it’s included in so many high school curricula as a sort of public service announcement. Unfortunately this backfires because its high school audience is all stupid hormonal teenagers so they take entirely the wrong lesson from it.

        • neeks
          neeks
          October 10, 2014 at 12:39 pm | #

          My favorite memory of reading r&j in my freshman year was when we were watching a movie of it (wanna say 60s/70s adaptation) and one of my male classmates exclaimed “God Romeo you’re such a girl!” when Romeo was getting his mope on at the start.

  35. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    October 10, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

    Ah, Ruth is going to be fine, she just discovered she’s capable of being happy. Now to work on Billie.

    Romeo and Juliet were 16 and 14 respectively if I recall HS English class. Romance was second to hormones, as is most teen attractions. They just suffered from an over abundance of stupid (imo)

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 10, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

      The priest didn’t help.

      • gwalla
        gwalla
        October 10, 2014 at 3:13 am | #

        Or the nurse.

      • Legasher
        Legasher
        October 10, 2014 at 2:23 pm | #

        Or the murder rap.

  36. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    October 10, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

    What, after openly assaulting, threatening and stealing from several students, NOW she’s worried about grounds for firing?

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      October 10, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

      This is the first time we’ve seen Ruth feeling happy enough to care about what happens to her.

      • Pinja
        Pinja
        October 10, 2014 at 9:24 am | #

        Ouch, right in the feels 🙁

    • Killjoy
      Killjoy
      October 10, 2014 at 10:33 am | #

      Don’t forget kidnapping.

      (She tracked students down and physically forced them to come back to the floor meeting.)

  37. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    October 10, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

    So, the college’s no-sexy-lesbian-suicide-pact policy. Would you say that it’s…

    explicit?

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 10, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

      YEAHHHH!! B)

    • a4lbi
      a4lbi
      October 10, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

      Bless this comment section.

  38. NF
    NF
    October 10, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

    Ruth freak-out in 10…9…8…7…

  39. zmm
    zmm
    October 10, 2014 at 2:29 am | #

    damn you RA no dating your residents rules!
    Quick! Billie move to a different building!

  40. Dorje Sylas
    Dorje Sylas
    October 10, 2014 at 2:43 am | #

    I believe the solution to this presents itself as obvious. Upgrade the sucide-pact to marriage. Young hetero couples do impulsive super-shorterm marriages all the time. It’s not dating if she’s your spouse. ;p

  41. Leonou
    Leonou
    October 10, 2014 at 3:21 am | #

    Okay, this is the Title for Book Five.
    Suggestions are closed, everyone can go home and wait to order one’s copy of “Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact”.

  42. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    October 10, 2014 at 3:38 am | #

    Where is the music of “The Singing Nun” now when we need it? Oh yeah, that’s right….she died in a sexy lesbian suicide pact some several years ago……OK….then how about….THE FLYING NU….Oh forget it!

  43. Lulu
    Lulu
    October 10, 2014 at 3:41 am | #

    Suicide pact?

    Isn’t that what every marriage is?

    Till death part us and so on.

  44. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    October 10, 2014 at 3:53 am | #

    It’s weird, I like both characters, but I’d like to see this relationship crash and burn. Maybe because I like just about every other girl/Ruth better than Ruth/Billie. The abuse has forever soured me on it.

  45. acher4
    acher4
    October 10, 2014 at 3:57 am | #

    Today’s strip just killed me.
    Ruth’s lines are amazing.
    Hehehehe

    • Calvin
      Calvin
      October 10, 2014 at 4:35 am | #

      Her curves are also amazing.

  46. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    October 10, 2014 at 4:10 am | #

    They may be sexy and lesbians, but suicide pacts aren’t quite sexy. Maybe that’s just me though?

  47. takashid
    takashid
    October 10, 2014 at 4:45 am | #

    is it necessary to call a suicide pact “sexy”? Twice? Seems like that kind of works against us taking it seriously and feels a little weird.

    • Dani Kelley
      Dani Kelley
      October 10, 2014 at 8:08 am | #

      It is consistent with how Ruth would talk about it, though, especially if she wants it to seem like no big deal (which, in her situation, I would).

  48. zathael
    zathael
    October 10, 2014 at 4:51 am | #

    Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact is my Dresden Dolls cover band.

    • WalkinDude
      WalkinDude
      October 10, 2014 at 5:14 am | #

      I believe it.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      October 10, 2014 at 7:22 am | #

      Now I want “Stupid Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact” to have its own TVTropes page.

  49. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    October 10, 2014 at 8:53 am | #

    Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact…

    For once when I say ‘I read that manga’ I’m not joking.

    (Unfortunately, I can’t find it to reread, since I’ve forgotten the title…)

  50. Skizz
    Skizz
    October 10, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

    I have to call my bandmates and tell them we are now called “Lesbian Suicide Pact”

    • Boomwolf
      Boomwolf
      October 10, 2014 at 1:48 pm | #

      I would go to literally every performance for a band called “Lesbian Suicide Pact”

  51. Boomwolf
    Boomwolf
    October 10, 2014 at 10:08 am | #

    call me crazy, but I think Lesbian Suicide Pact trumps getting fired

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      October 10, 2014 at 1:25 pm | #

      What about sexy lesbian fired? That sounds preferable to suicided.

      • Boomwolf
        Boomwolf
        October 10, 2014 at 1:47 pm | #

        too true.

  52. Rikonius
    Rikonius
    October 10, 2014 at 10:44 am | #

    Next time try drawing the yawning panel last. That way the yawning pic won’t make you yawn while you’re drawing the bulk of the strip.
    On an unrelated topic, I wonder if the word “yawn” can also have the same effect on people as seeing a yawn. Do you think it would make people yawn if some jerk were to type out the word “yawn” a bunch?

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      October 10, 2014 at 11:05 am | #

      graghgh

    • Aolbain
      Aolbain
      October 10, 2014 at 9:05 pm | #

      I yawned while reading this post.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      October 11, 2014 at 4:10 am | #

      No.

  53. Charles Fee
    Charles Fee
    October 10, 2014 at 11:06 am | #

    Wait..I remember wanting this kind of relationship when I was younger..I hate being broody! I have to go! Tell my wife I love her. BURY ME WITH MY HAMMER!

  54. TPRJones
    TPRJones
    October 10, 2014 at 12:20 pm | #

    I wish I could be in a sexy lesbian suicide pact. *sigh*

  55. EmbraceEvil
    EmbraceEvil
    October 10, 2014 at 12:47 pm | #

    Death by scissoring? I’m sorry.

  56. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    October 10, 2014 at 12:56 pm | #

    Is this that thing you call… “happiness”?

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      October 10, 2014 at 1:26 pm | #

      Don’t worry, it won’t last. Happiness has a short half life. It’s very unstable.

  57. SpookieClown
    SpookieClown
    October 10, 2014 at 2:55 pm | #

    I think ive found my new band name, Sexy Lesbian Suicide pact sounds good for a punk jazz quartet right?

    • PBManning
      PBManning
      October 10, 2014 at 4:36 pm | #

      Several syncopations tonight~

  58. PlainMarie
    PlainMarie
    October 10, 2014 at 8:05 pm | #

    This probably won’t go well, but eh, I love seeing Billie happy.

  59. Regalli
    Regalli
    October 10, 2014 at 8:14 pm | #

    Good, she’s getting some self-awareness. There may be hope yet.

  60. Daashi
    Daashi
    October 10, 2014 at 10:48 pm | #

    Every time I read that alt text I yawn.

    Damn you Willis!

  61. Yu'Karaya
    Yu'Karaya
    October 10, 2014 at 11:03 pm | #

    Oh oh, I’m in one of those!

  62. Mally
    Mally
    July 25, 2015 at 1:07 am | #

    So, Sexy Lesbian Suicide Pact… name of book 5?

Who's that guy over there?

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