That is a sub-optimal solution. Happiness is not a zero-sum game. It comes from within, mostly in response to external clues and situations but still something you make on your own.
I don’t think things going wrong with Ruth is the problem, or a possibility, if you’re implying Dr. Beverly is suddenly going to turn into Nurse Ratched. Things going right is the issue. You know, because Billie is still spiraling into depression and now if Ruth actually learns to be happy without being co-dependent, it’ll make Billie worse.
Billie really needs to be in therapy too, but she’s not required to go, and she’s really stubborn, which isn’t a good combination
“Go ahead and rest, I’ll take care of h-”
“GIT YER STINKIN’ PAWS OFFA MAH WOMIN!!”
“But I’m only here to h-HKKGKKGGRHGKGLGLLL…”
*disrobes corpse, puts on nurse’s uniform*
“I’ll take care of you now, Ruth. I’ll ALWAYS take care of you…”
As someone who grew up in a fundie church in the midwest, I can tell you for a fact that Joyce and Becky are the only girls from their church not named Sarah.
ah shoot. i thought being called Sarah was a good indicator of being Jewish and used it to guess whether I had met a fellow Jew if they weren’t wearing a star of david necklace or a shirt with hebrew letters without having to awkwardly ask their religion.
Thanks for telling me. Otherwise, it would be hard to explain why i had to break off a potential relationship when I heard her talking about how Christmas is too Catholic for her on the first date.
Remember, Billie went to Ruth because she felt she destroyed everything she touched. Ruth was already damaged and so was safe. Now, if Ruth’s getting better, what does Billie think will be the best course of action?
That would require her to take control of her situation rather than continue her self-destructive spiral, which would require her to have character development, which would require her to first do something to combat her depression, i.e. therapy.
Not super down with the implication that her depression indicates a character deficiency.
Her mental state isn’t, “I feel like I destroy everything I touch and that makes me scared I can’t be with Ruth, so I should go to therapy so I can learn that I don’t actually destroy everything I touch. But I”m not going to because I don’t want to take control!”
It’s “I destroy everything I touch and that makes me scared I can’t be with Ruth. What’s the point of going to therapy? I’m too worthless to deserve treatment, and in any case, they can’t treat the real problem, which is that I’m a piece of crap.”
I realize taht, but there would still need to be a tautological change, which means that without a powerful outside force acting on her nothing will change — and frankly, I have no idea what that force would even be.
There doesn’t need to be a dramatic, externally motivated change.
For one thing, she’s already scheduled for weekly therapy sessions, which did not sound optional. If she gives it a chance, it will still take time and a lot of work, but she has friends who will help and support her.
Gentle forces exerting steady pressure over time have just as much power to change someone as big dramatic events, and the result is much more stable.
RUTH (quietly): Then I guess I’m Brock, like from the anime?
DR. BEVERLY: Oh, I guess that makes me Nurse Joy!
RUTH (quietly): D-do you think she heard what I said? Is she asking for a threesome?
(I mean, I know she’s not a nurse, but close enough for the joke to work… Although if there were a male nurse in the room, it might be funnier just because of the stereotype that all straight guys are into girl-on-girl romance)
Look, Billie, there comes a point in everyone’s life when they have to accept that they’re not trained medical professionals. Unless maybe you’re actually a trained medical professional.
That wasn’t right. I mean, Billie is about as close as a family member Ruth has right now. You don’t chase family members away. At least, not unless they have been up all night bedside or something.
They also were in a codependent relationship, and Billie might (unwittingly, or perhaps even wittingly given the past few pages) cause Ruth to slide backwards.
I know from my gf’s hospitalization that psychiatric hospitals can and do chase away family at the end of visiting hour. (Not hours, hour. One.) Also, visitors and the patients being visited had to stay in common areas, no going into rooms or anything.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m actually kind of amazed someone didn’t chase Billie out of Ruth’s room before now.
She starts faltering when Doctor Beverly says “thank you for bringing her in,” because Billie didn’t. Chloe and Carla were responsible for getting Ruth to the help she needed. Billie resisted and resented the idea.
Billie and Ruth’s entire relationship was built on them being too toxic for other people but just toxic enough for each other. “We can touch each other.” They clearly care very deeply for each other, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a romance built on co-dependency and enabling that in several aspects prevented them from getting the help they needed, and I think Billie realized it a bit in that last panel.
In the “I’m toxic and I was keeping Ruth from getting help and I’m horrible and bad and should just go away because she’ll be better off without me like everyone else is and where’s my booze” kind of a way.
Billie really needs to be in the room next door to Ruth.
That little look down in the last panel hits me so hard. That moment when you realize the actions you’ve taken might not have actually been all that helpful towards someone you care deeply about, but might have actually made things worse, making you wonder if you might have been part of the problem.
Billie. It’s ok. Do not blame yourself for not bringing Ruth here sooner. You did not know she would respond this well to therapy. I know right now that you’re thinking this entire situation is your fault. It is not.
Dr. Beverly has some idea of who Billie is, I think. But given all the uncertainty she probably has about their situation, she’s defaulting to treating her like she would a normal concerned friend or family member.
Given her timing, I’m also thinking she knows of Billie’s rant from the front desk and is trying to carefully separate them without completely isolating them from each other. It’s really hard to get righteously angry at someone who is being friendly, optimistic, complimentary and showing concern for your well being.
She doesn’t need a “kick in the pants” anymore than Ruth did. She needs help. Like Ruth does.
It’s kind of funny. It wasn’t that long ago that it seemed like every other comment on the Billie/Ruth relationship was all about how Ruth was bullying and abusive.
Now it’s all about how Billie is toxic and dangerous to Ruth.
It’s a co-dependent relationship between two alcoholic, depressed, suicidal kids. It’s not one of them being horrible. It’s both of them having problems.
What a wonderful mix of guilt and fear. She’s acutely aware that if she had her way and kept Ruth out of here Ruth could have died, while simultaneously not wanting to leave the girl she just promised she wouldn’t let die. Make that guilt and fear with a side of cognitive dissonance.
Billie in the last panel. Sure, she could have a “Damn, I’m not needed” moment, and we know she craves being needed. Perfectly good interpretation.
It could also be “Damn, I didn’t do any of this. In fact, it’s my fault she needed this place to begin with!” Guilt trip deluxe coming right up!
It could even be “Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have shouted so much at Carla. Maybe Carla had a point in doing this after all… And now I gotta apologise to her too. Damn!”
Or it could be all three of those things together.
Personally, I hope it’s mostly the third one. That would be the most emotionally healthy of them.
I’d put my money on the first two. Maybe the third as well, but I suspect it would be more of a “I lashed out at Carla because I’m fucked up and toxic” situation. Which would fit in with the awful realization that she should have been the one to realize Ruth needed to be brought here, and also that she actually got in the way.
I really hope she goes and finds Walky again this time, because I have a bad feeling Billie is going to get a lot worse before she starts getting better :[
I will never stop insisting that Walky, who I am kin with, is the last person you want to see when you’re emotionally compromised. He is a walking emotional disaster area
How about finding Sal instead… wait no
How about Joyce… wait, still no…
Dina? Dorothy?
I”m trying to think of the people with the most emotional stability and lack of their own troubles, but it’s hard to find any. Especially any that Billy has existing significant friendships with.
Joyce might actually be just who Billie needs to see. Her faith and resolve have been sorely tested, and she came through with a broader perspective but no less appreciation for love. She hasn’t seen Billie in a while, and might be a good shoulder to cry on.
Also maybe I shouldn’t have snapped at all of my friends when they were trying to console me because the person who’s actually suffering is taking it a lot better than me.
She was crabby and mean for most of one single morning. Yeah, she should apologize for that at some point, but considering she’s depressed and extremely stressed out, it’s pretty understandable that she acted that way.
“Person who’s actually suffering”?
More like the depressed, suicidal alcoholic who’s actually getting treatment is taking it a lot better than the depressed suicidal alcoholic who isn’t. Shocking.
I suspect that Doctor Beverly is very likely aware of their codependent relationship and has (rightly) determined that Biilie’s presence would be detrimental to Ruth’s treatment at this point.
Billie has said before that she thinks Ruth is only willing to date her because she’s too “broken” for anyone else. I’m afraid Billie thinks that if Ruth gets real treatment and they “fix” her (read: treat her depression and help her rebuild her sense of self worth), then Ruth won’t be “broken” or “poisonous” enough to want to date Billie. If she’s afraid that treatment will take Ruth away from her, she may be desperate enough to try to sabotage Ruth’s care.
My heart breaks for Billie, but the Dr. Beverly is right. She needs to go home and let the therapists do their jobs.
More likely, if she thinks that if Ruth gets real treatment and they “fix” her, then she should stay away from Ruth because she’s toxic and awful and kept her from from getting help which could have led to her dying. At which point Billie shuts out the rest of the world because she would just damage them and seriously works on drinking herself to death.
IOW, maybe Billie shouldn’t have too much contact with Ruth right now, but she’s also in no shape to be sent home to process all this alone.
I agree with everyone that Billie has very conflicted feelings about Ruth’s recovery for all the reasons mentioned. I think it’s worth also noting that Billie actively chose to be supportive today, she chose not to undermine Ruth or her recovery in any way. Good job, Billie. Sorry that this sucks.
so…, her care-takers are either just as messed up or completely incompetent at comforting people in Walky’s case. I love the guy, but he’s the last person you want to see when you’re sad
There was also the conversation where Becky learned bisexuality was a thing, but that’s about it. She’s been hanging around in the same group as Becky a few times, but not much direct interaction.
She’s familiar with Becky by now, but it’s still very much a friend-of-a-friend situation.
Walky and Sal will probably eventually find themselves doing the job (mostly by accident). They are already closer to her than her blood family anyway.
i know it’s the first option. Withholding info from part of her care team like that could compromise their effectiveness. While it’s far from all of it, not understanding Billie’s role in Ruth’s recent life would mess up Dr. Crusher’s understanding of her situation pretty badly
I doubt she’d do that if she were being diplomatic, unless she’s really bad at diplomacy. Even if they were supposed to be separated, they can’t just order them to break up.
I suspect she doesn’t know about the codependence, or anything about Billie beyond her having been with Ruth when she was brought in.
It’s possible she is trying to be discreet. She does not know whether Ruth and Billie are Out and Open about their relationship so she might be trying to give them some safe words here.
It is possible to be ridiculous and sincere at the same time. Much of life is absurd and silly even when we consider those parts deep and meaningful, which I’ve always felt adds to the beauty of it.
Also, I really expected to find myself making more bad puns and fart jokes when I picked my user name.
I think Dr. Beverly timed her entrance purposely. Right to the point where Billy hugged Ruth and said she wouldn’t let her die. Enter, hi, big smiles, time to go home, and not worry.
I think Dr. B. knows their relationship and co-dependency, hope she does.
I’m so glad Ruth is at this point, it is too many feels, but its good.
I worry for Billy, but I’m hoping she will see that a healing Ruth still needs her, needs her hugs and her promises. With that, maybe she will go into therapy the way she has been told to do. I hope.
I do feel for Billie and I guess that I understand her confusion. Up to yesterday, everything was in a comprehensible (if disturbing) order – Ruth was borderline-suicidal and was isolating herself because she was afraid of the consequences of seeking help. Billie was her sole care-giver and confidante and, as damaging as it potentially was, Billie was adapted to this reality.
Now, suddenly, the whole world has become a lot more complex and I’m thinking that she doesn’t really know what her role is anymore. Ruth is able to show happiness and even show the degree to which she loves her. Ruth suddenly has competent and professional assistance and the whole ‘sexy lesbian suicide pact’ thing is suddenly looking like the fantasy of the lowest point. I think that a part of her wonders if she still has a role.
She does, of course; Ruth’s feelings for her haven’t changed. However, the familiar is comfortable and I wonder if she has the courage to be the anchor for a recovering Ruth.
I’m wondering if she doubts her ability to be there for her. I don’t doubt her having courage (look at what she did to Mary) I wonder if she doubts herself being good enough for Ruth. She could be worried that she might drag her back down, that the role she played hurt her more than helped her and now that she sees what actual help is, she’s doubting whether or not she can be that kind of person for her.
I’m glad someone asked and answered this. I was reading this conversation like Billie was pretending to be another character, who might be someone that will interfere with her relationship with Ruth. Like in “While You Were Sleeping” or something.
In fairness, much like Sal, I wouldn’t expect Mrs Walkerton to call her son by a diminutive of their last name. The same for Billie, since they likely knew her parents first, it would just be strange.
David, I can get. Billie also has mixed feelings about the nickname, per Word of Willis, so sure, I can get that. Using ‘Sally’ over ‘Sal’ though is what makes it seem more like ‘I just don’t give a fuck what they want to be called’ than just feeling awkward about those particular nicknames.
I’m dreading the mother of all personality clashes here. It’s hard for most people to tolerate exuberantly cheerful people in situations where it’s utterly tactless to behave like that, let alone someone as curmudgeonly & emotionally fragile as Ruth.
I think I’ve realized the reason Ruth stuff doesn’t get to me the way Amber stuff does is because I don’t blame myself for being depressed the way I do for being abused or for feeling anger
It’s there and it’s awful, I just try to recognize it as something that will pass, but the shame I still feel regarding my own capacity for anger hasn’t gone away. It’s what I hate about myself the most.
I mean, it’s her job to care for the patients. Friends and family shouldn’t have to feel that it’s entirely on them to cure someone with depression. But they also shouldn’t have to feel that they’re useless.
And if Doctor Beverly knows/suspects that Ruth and Billie were codependent, she should address that issue and suggest some kind of treatment for Billie too.
Billie IS getting treatment – she has therapy coming up this week and every week for the foreseeable future.
Visiting hour is almost up – it seemed to me like Beverly was trying to say ‘you don’t have to worry about Ruth being in here, she’s in good hands, we’ve got this I promise, there are no Nurse Ratcheds here.”
Hey, no worries. Everyone forgets stuff sometimes. We’re human. No big. I’m one of the fussiest people about minor details in stories and I still archive dive to check details I forgot.
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“don’t you worry about all that ’emotional support’ stuff, we got this! go away now”
“um”
“shoo”
Doctor Beverly gently pushes Billie out the door with a broom.
Yeah… Billie probably needs to attend some of these meetings as well. Co-dependency is harsh stuff.
Why… Why is my gravatar the evil one… I… should start posting mean nasty things.
Wouldn’t it just be perfect if THAT was Mary’s bongo origin story
Mary is mean because she got a bad gravatar? It’s amazing what you learn on the Interwebs.
I agree, I feel terrible that she’s not getting treatment when her friend is :/
B “wait, I want stay!”
N “only family can be here right now.”
B “I AM HER FAMILY, I’m her alciholi- I mean fuckbudd- I mean fiancé.”
N: Skeptical look – “oh, so when’s the wedding?”
B: looks away off-guard comptinplaining “four months.”
N “awesome, can I come?”
B: looks away again “Suuuuuure.”
LATER
R “WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
B “Do you want to wear the dress or should I?”
They can both wear pretty dresses if they wanna. That Leafs dress Joyce ordered a while back must have arrived by now
Pretty dresses for everyone! So long as they’re still alive…
Yes, pretty dresses, & dancing with all the boys for everyone. but mostly you, of course… 😛
Even Mary! She can dance with Tom Petty.
More, more sitcoms shenanigans
“dawg, inviting yourself to a wedding is RUUUUUUUDE”
not as rude as inviting yourself to the honeymoon.
i hope that she is a good doctor. i want a happy ruth
Assuming that the balance of the universe is not dependent on Ruth’s depression same here. Happy Ruth!
I’m sure we can get a happy Ruth, at the expense of an even-more-depressed Billie.
This, right here, is the whole damn problem. Billie keeps reading as upset that her misery buddy isn’t miserable.
That is a sub-optimal solution. Happiness is not a zero-sum game. It comes from within, mostly in response to external clues and situations but still something you make on your own.
Not in DoA. There happiness is doled out by an omnipotent author, generally for the purpose of being crushed so he can feed on our tears.
Everything’s going to be alright.
I have a bad feeling about this…
She looks nice, nothing wrong can happen right……right?
I don’t think things going wrong with Ruth is the problem, or a possibility, if you’re implying Dr. Beverly is suddenly going to turn into Nurse Ratched. Things going right is the issue. You know, because Billie is still spiraling into depression and now if Ruth actually learns to be happy without being co-dependent, it’ll make Billie worse.
Billie really needs to be in therapy too, but she’s not required to go, and she’s really stubborn, which isn’t a good combination
It sounded very much like she is required to go, actually:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/stock/
Not that it guarantees she’ll go, but one can hope
The way she worded it doesn’t make it seem optional. Can health services make treatment a condition for staying in school?
I think that maybe the *school* can make a student receive treatment.
I don’t think they’d kick Billie out (or, anyway, can’t kick Billie out because she’s depressed*), but they can certainly… strongly suggest it.
*Of course, there are loopholes, I guess. There are always loopholes.
Even without actually being able to compel it, doctors can be very good at using their authority and status to convince you to do things.
Pretty much what I was thinking, wasn’t this a mutual death spiral?
“Go ahead and rest, I’ll take care of h-”
“GIT YER STINKIN’ PAWS OFFA MAH WOMIN!!”
“But I’m only here to h-HKKGKKGGRHGKGLGLLL…”
*disrobes corpse, puts on nurse’s uniform*
“I’ll take care of you now, Ruth. I’ll ALWAYS take care of you…”
Oh my, but Billie is ambivalent. Am-Billie-lent, even!
Go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
Needs a V in there. Ambillievent?
Sounds like a starship.
See, that was my first thought, too. But then, it just sounds like a mondegreen instead of a pun!
It’s a mondegreen AND a pun! …and a floor wax, and a dessert topping.
New Shimmer!
Or perhaps it’s a double pun about Billie venting her frustration by punching Mary? (and I mean THANK GOD because Mary deserved that)
Who’s Jennifer?
Well, if you are a jealous person you must be picturing Ruth’s face buried in some mystery woman’s crotch.
Is Billie the jealous type?
I’m picturing Jennifer’s face buried in Ruth’s crotch.
Then vice versa.
So, the slip shine then?
🙂
Wait; you do know Billie is Jennifer, right?
Any excuse to visualize lesbian sex should be taken.
I believe it’s in reference to the alt-text?
It is.
Jennifer Yunru Billingsworth, aka “Billie”?
Or maybe one of six girls from Joyce and Becky’s church.
As someone who grew up in a fundie church in the midwest, I can tell you for a fact that Joyce and Becky are the only girls from their church not named Sarah.
Also Melissa and possibly Kelly and the six Jennifers!
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/countryside/
…Their church may have swapped Sarah for Jennifer.
ah shoot. i thought being called Sarah was a good indicator of being Jewish and used it to guess whether I had met a fellow Jew if they weren’t wearing a star of david necklace or a shirt with hebrew letters without having to awkwardly ask their religion.
Thanks for telling me. Otherwise, it would be hard to explain why i had to break off a potential relationship when I heard her talking about how Christmas is too Catholic for her on the first date.
Aww, Billie. You need more hugs. 🙁
I’m trying, but I can’t get it to go through the fourth wall.
i will smash that god damn fourth wall just so i can hug everyone in this comic
aside from mary and carol, they deserve no hugs
Also Ryan, his cronies, Toedad, John, Blaine, and Faz I assume.
Aw, but I want hugs. 🙁
John Brown. YOU may have all the hugs you want. 😀
*hugs*
That almost sort of makes it sound like you are addressing John Brown.
He’s mouldering in his grave, but his truth is marching on.
I think for this John Brown, the truth is mouldering in the grave, but he keeps marching on.
Nah, their hugs are just the prelude to suplexes.
Where’s Sgt. Wadey Wilson when you need him?
Four for a Dollar/Some black-and-white pictures…
I think I misremembered that.
So, er, ah, why doesn’t the server seem to use ntp? Its apparent time seems to be about five minutes off at this point.
Remember, Billie went to Ruth because she felt she destroyed everything she touched. Ruth was already damaged and so was safe. Now, if Ruth’s getting better, what does Billie think will be the best course of action?
Attending the therapy she was prescribed? Please?
That would require her to take control of her situation rather than continue her self-destructive spiral, which would require her to have character development, which would require her to first do something to combat her depression, i.e. therapy.
What came first — the phoenix or the flame?
Not super down with the implication that her depression indicates a character deficiency.
Her mental state isn’t, “I feel like I destroy everything I touch and that makes me scared I can’t be with Ruth, so I should go to therapy so I can learn that I don’t actually destroy everything I touch. But I”m not going to because I don’t want to take control!”
It’s “I destroy everything I touch and that makes me scared I can’t be with Ruth. What’s the point of going to therapy? I’m too worthless to deserve treatment, and in any case, they can’t treat the real problem, which is that I’m a piece of crap.”
I realize taht, but there would still need to be a tautological change, which means that without a powerful outside force acting on her nothing will change — and frankly, I have no idea what that force would even be.
There doesn’t need to be a dramatic, externally motivated change.
For one thing, she’s already scheduled for weekly therapy sessions, which did not sound optional. If she gives it a chance, it will still take time and a lot of work, but she has friends who will help and support her.
Gentle forces exerting steady pressure over time have just as much power to change someone as big dramatic events, and the result is much more stable.
SOMEONE HUG BILLIE.
Walky, get your ass away from your failing math panic and come make yourself useful.
*hugs*
My laptop is warm.
DR. BEVERLY: “Hello, I’m Doctor Beverly.”
BILLIE: “Hi, Doctor Beverly! I’m Officer Jenny.”
MELANIA TRUMP: “Hi, Doctor Beverly! I’m Officer Jenny.”
RUTH (quietly): Then I guess I’m Brock, like from the anime?
DR. BEVERLY: Oh, I guess that makes me Nurse Joy!
RUTH (quietly): D-do you think she heard what I said? Is she asking for a threesome?
(I mean, I know she’s not a nurse, but close enough for the joke to work… Although if there were a male nurse in the room, it might be funnier just because of the stereotype that all straight guys are into girl-on-girl romance)
(oh and the gender bender Nurse Joy lol)
I once had roommates Joy and Joey. You have no idea how hard it was to figure out who callers wanted. We finally resorted to “Girl Joy or Boy Joey?”
–Gender bending Nurse Joy can be Nurse Joey, is what I’m trying to say.
Nurse Joey?
But yes, that’s certainly an idea ^^
Billie : “am I not needed anymore ?”
Jennifer is Jessica’s sister, of course. Duh!
I actually have two cousins named Jessica and Jennifer.
Are they siblings?
Unfortunately, no, although I used to think they were.
Jessifer!
They’re very common names.
Little does Beverly know, “I’ll take care of her for you” is exactly Billie’s worry.
Look, Billie, there comes a point in everyone’s life when they have to accept that they’re not trained medical professionals. Unless maybe you’re actually a trained medical professional.
+1
If you’re actually a trained medical professional, there comes a point in your life when you have to accept you’re not a rocket scientist instead.
Unless you’re both a trained medical professional AND a rocket scientist.
Rocket surgery is an underappreciated field.
Underpaid as well.
That wasn’t right. I mean, Billie is about as close as a family member Ruth has right now. You don’t chase family members away. At least, not unless they have been up all night bedside or something.
They also were in a codependent relationship, and Billie might (unwittingly, or perhaps even wittingly given the past few pages) cause Ruth to slide backwards.
I know from my gf’s hospitalization that psychiatric hospitals can and do chase away family at the end of visiting hour. (Not hours, hour. One.) Also, visitors and the patients being visited had to stay in common areas, no going into rooms or anything.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m actually kind of amazed someone didn’t chase Billie out of Ruth’s room before now.
I imagine it depends on the facility.
Quite probably, though the one Ruth’s in definitely has the visiting hour rather than hours.
Yup, but apparently different policies about whether or not they’re allowed in the patient’s rooms with them.
“Uh, actually I didn’t… It wasn’t me.”
“Oh. Well, whoever did, please thank them for me. They probably saved her life!”
That must have felt like a punch to the gut :[
She starts faltering when Doctor Beverly says “thank you for bringing her in,” because Billie didn’t. Chloe and Carla were responsible for getting Ruth to the help she needed. Billie resisted and resented the idea.
Billie and Ruth’s entire relationship was built on them being too toxic for other people but just toxic enough for each other. “We can touch each other.” They clearly care very deeply for each other, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a romance built on co-dependency and enabling that in several aspects prevented them from getting the help they needed, and I think Billie realized it a bit in that last panel.
Realized it, but not in a good way, I’m afraid.
In the “I’m toxic and I was keeping Ruth from getting help and I’m horrible and bad and should just go away because she’ll be better off without me like everyone else is and where’s my booze” kind of a way.
Billie really needs to be in the room next door to Ruth.
Oh no…
That little look down in the last panel hits me so hard. That moment when you realize the actions you’ve taken might not have actually been all that helpful towards someone you care deeply about, but might have actually made things worse, making you wonder if you might have been part of the problem.
…or whether you really cared all that deeply about them.
Oh shit looks like someone needs to apologize to Carla
Billie. It’s ok. Do not blame yourself for not bringing Ruth here sooner. You did not know she would respond this well to therapy. I know right now that you’re thinking this entire situation is your fault. It is not.
‘I’m confident she’s going to be able do this’
Uh… do what?
Live.
Survive, recover from, and manage her depression?
I believe she means “stop being suicidal”
Find stability. Manage her depression.
Dr. Beverly has some idea of who Billie is, I think. But given all the uncertainty she probably has about their situation, she’s defaulting to treating her like she would a normal concerned friend or family member.
Given her timing, I’m also thinking she knows of Billie’s rant from the front desk and is trying to carefully separate them without completely isolating them from each other. It’s really hard to get righteously angry at someone who is being friendly, optimistic, complimentary and showing concern for your well being.
not die
Foooooolks~ We’re making a community for Doa on discord! You can check it out! https://discord.gg/7caRG
Neat
“… Now what am I supposed to do?”
It took a few reads for me to realize that Billie wasn’t asking “Are you proud of me too?”
You’ll be okay, Billie. Just hold out for that therapy.
Dr Beverly doesn’t seem to be aware that Billie is also in dire need of therapy, or she’d have worded a couple things very differently
One would hope, yes.
Aaaaaand now she feels like shit for giving Carla a rough time for doing what seems to be the right now.
I don’t won’t to rub salt in the wound but considering how pissy she’s been to everyone all day :https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x1fb0QM6OzI
*the right thing in the long run.
Lol thank you
A lot if people are showing her all this sympathy and “it’s not your fault” and all I can think is
Thank GOD this may be the kick in the pants she needs
She doesn’t need a “kick in the pants” anymore than Ruth did. She needs help. Like Ruth does.
It’s kind of funny. It wasn’t that long ago that it seemed like every other comment on the Billie/Ruth relationship was all about how Ruth was bullying and abusive.
Now it’s all about how Billie is toxic and dangerous to Ruth.
It’s a co-dependent relationship between two alcoholic, depressed, suicidal kids. It’s not one of them being horrible. It’s both of them having problems.
for what it’s worth, all my ‘toxic’ comments are about that being how Billie sees [i]herself[/i], true or not.
… damn tags.
What a wonderful mix of guilt and fear. She’s acutely aware that if she had her way and kept Ruth out of here Ruth could have died, while simultaneously not wanting to leave the girl she just promised she wouldn’t let die. Make that guilt and fear with a side of cognitive dissonance.
Now I’m worried for Billy.
I’m wondering…
Billie in the last panel. Sure, she could have a “Damn, I’m not needed” moment, and we know she craves being needed. Perfectly good interpretation.
It could also be “Damn, I didn’t do any of this. In fact, it’s my fault she needed this place to begin with!” Guilt trip deluxe coming right up!
It could even be “Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have shouted so much at Carla. Maybe Carla had a point in doing this after all… And now I gotta apologise to her too. Damn!”
Or it could be all three of those things together.
Personally, I hope it’s mostly the third one. That would be the most emotionally healthy of them.
It probably won’t be the third one.
Willis has surprised us before.
I’d put my money on the first two. Maybe the third as well, but I suspect it would be more of a “I lashed out at Carla because I’m fucked up and toxic” situation. Which would fit in with the awful realization that she should have been the one to realize Ruth needed to be brought here, and also that she actually got in the way.
I really hope she goes and finds Walky again this time, because I have a bad feeling Billie is going to get a lot worse before she starts getting better :[
I will never stop insisting that Walky, who I am kin with, is the last person you want to see when you’re emotionally compromised. He is a walking emotional disaster area
How about finding Sal instead… wait no
How about Joyce… wait, still no…
Dina? Dorothy?
I”m trying to think of the people with the most emotional stability and lack of their own troubles, but it’s hard to find any. Especially any that Billy has existing significant friendships with.
Walky’s also family though. Sometimes you need family, even if they’re apt to say all the wrong things.
Joyce might actually be just who Billie needs to see. Her faith and resolve have been sorely tested, and she came through with a broader perspective but no less appreciation for love. She hasn’t seen Billie in a while, and might be a good shoulder to cry on.
And Joyce is Billie’s best friend at college. Billie admitted it herself.
that’s a good point
Do you realize you’ve eliminated everyone except Mike?
I assumed that was out of the question
Dorothy or Ethan could both be great, but I don’t think she’s really friends with either of them.
Also maybe I shouldn’t have snapped at all of my friends when they were trying to console me because the person who’s actually suffering is taking it a lot better than me.
Depression and suffering aren’t competitions.
She was crabby and mean for most of one single morning. Yeah, she should apologize for that at some point, but considering she’s depressed and extremely stressed out, it’s pretty understandable that she acted that way.
“Person who’s actually suffering”?
More like the depressed, suicidal alcoholic who’s actually getting treatment is taking it a lot better than the depressed suicidal alcoholic who isn’t. Shocking.
“Wait, did I leave the stove on?”
Tomorrow’s strip: The entire dorm goes *BOOM*
Well, then, Becky wouldn’t be the only homeless LGBTQ+ youth in the comic.
CRFH!!! crossover?
Wait, Dr. Beverly? As in Dr. Beverly Crusher? Looks like a certain someone enjoys watching Star Trek: TNG. 😉
Is that someone, everyone?
that’s exactly what I thought of
cool
Ohhhh, now I get it. My Trekkie dad would have been all over this reference.
I was wondering if it was intentional.
I suspect that Doctor Beverly is very likely aware of their codependent relationship and has (rightly) determined that Biilie’s presence would be detrimental to Ruth’s treatment at this point.
Billie has said before that she thinks Ruth is only willing to date her because she’s too “broken” for anyone else. I’m afraid Billie thinks that if Ruth gets real treatment and they “fix” her (read: treat her depression and help her rebuild her sense of self worth), then Ruth won’t be “broken” or “poisonous” enough to want to date Billie. If she’s afraid that treatment will take Ruth away from her, she may be desperate enough to try to sabotage Ruth’s care.
My heart breaks for Billie, but the Dr. Beverly is right. She needs to go home and let the therapists do their jobs.
Well, she did also show up at the end of visiting hour. Her 20 minutes are probably either up or close enough to up by now.
More likely, if she thinks that if Ruth gets real treatment and they “fix” her, then she should stay away from Ruth because she’s toxic and awful and kept her from from getting help which could have led to her dying. At which point Billie shuts out the rest of the world because she would just damage them and seriously works on drinking herself to death.
IOW, maybe Billie shouldn’t have too much contact with Ruth right now, but she’s also in no shape to be sent home to process all this alone.
I agree with everyone that Billie has very conflicted feelings about Ruth’s recovery for all the reasons mentioned. I think it’s worth also noting that Billie actively chose to be supportive today, she chose not to undermine Ruth or her recovery in any way. Good job, Billie. Sorry that this sucks.
Yeah, that is a very good point to make. When she said she is there for Ruth she really meant it, regardless of how much it hurts.
……but who takes care of Billie?
Becky.
Also Joyce and Sal, and Walky, when he takes a break from freaking out about his grades.
Though I think Becky is likely to get relegated to Supplementary Hugs duty until Billie gets to know her better
I really want Danny and Billie to be friends for some reason. Just as character growth for both of them.
so…, her care-takers are either just as messed up or completely incompetent at comforting people in Walky’s case. I love the guy, but he’s the last person you want to see when you’re sad
He started off terribly, but he learned fast. The way he showed care this morning, but backed off when Billie didn’t talk was extremely well-handled.
More than that, the fact that Billie actually seems to believe him when he shows he cares makes him invaluable to her right now.
Except… they’re not going to realize what’s going on.
have they ever had a real conversation besides Becky wanting to discuss girls with her
There was also the conversation where Becky learned bisexuality was a thing, but that’s about it. She’s been hanging around in the same group as Becky a few times, but not much direct interaction.
She’s familiar with Becky by now, but it’s still very much a friend-of-a-friend situation.
exactly. becky gets enough screentime as it is. i’d rather have another character take the spotlight for a while
pff, you take that back! 😛 haha
never
“enough Becky” …like, I understand each world separately, but taken together they just don’t make any sense at all. 🙂
To be less silly – I’m sure we will see quite a bit of non-Becky support of Billie. If nothing else, Becky has already played her full hand.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/stock/
In all seriousness, I would be very surprised if we found Becky taking the spotlight role in that saga.
No one. Because Billie is awful and toxic and doesn’t deserve anyone’s care. She’d just destroy them.
Alcohol is her only real friend.
🙁
I thought alcohol was MY friend! D8
*runs and cries*
Walky and Sal will probably eventually find themselves doing the job (mostly by accident). They are already closer to her than her blood family anyway.
Walky has already started on that, and Sal’s attempt to reach out earlier seemed very intentional to me
Aww, come on. At least give her a kiss goodbye.
I hate this. It’s getting too real for Billie.
I’m waiting for the foot to drop and ‘Sir’ to contact Ruth.
Can we have Joyce and Amber punch *him*, too?
Let’s not stir him up more than we have to. I like Howard more than I like Faz.
If those two are involved, it’s less of a stir-up than a beat-down, though I suspect ‘Sir’ has better hand-to-hand training than Ross or Blaine.
It’s good that Ruth is getting the help she needs. Now I really hope Billie starts going to therapy soon too.
“I’ve been taking care of your friend”
A part of me wishes Billie corrected her and specified girlfriend, but she seems a bit too emotionally distracted to do her Billie thing.
I don’t think she’s confident enough in their relationship status to make an issue of it. Ruth’s been pushing her away pretty hard lately.
Ruth’s eyes are so big now and I love it.
Maybe she’ll start doing well in school again, being such an apt pupil.
….
*flees for dear punning life*
pff. It took me a moment to get that one.
Teach me, oh punning eye-dol!
wait joyce isn’t the only character with eye color anymore
im not sure how to feel
Ruth has actually had green eyes since Book 3! We see them in the scene where Billie breaks down Ruth’s door.
Joyce hasn’t been the only character with eye color since the second strip.
Others include Jocelyne, Mary, other Rachel, Conquest, and Penny.
Ruth, Penny, and Mary all have coloured eyes.
Imnotash, shock and awe are always appropriate.
Wait, “friend”? Does she not know that they were in a relationship? I thought the hospital had been informed and deemed them codependent
They were – they were also told they probably shouldn’t see each other for some time. Considering that, Beverly might be trying to be diplomatic.
Or she could simply not know they were dating – just because some parts of her care team knows doesn’t mean she does.
i know it’s the first option. Withholding info from part of her care team like that could compromise their effectiveness. While it’s far from all of it, not understanding Billie’s role in Ruth’s recent life would mess up Dr. Crusher’s understanding of her situation pretty badly
I doubt it’s being withheld so much as ‘its the first day and maybe she hasn’t familiarized herself with every detail and aspect of Ruth’s case’ yet.
But agreed, it’s more likely the first one.
I doubt she’d do that if she were being diplomatic, unless she’s really bad at diplomacy. Even if they were supposed to be separated, they can’t just order them to break up.
I suspect she doesn’t know about the codependence, or anything about Billie beyond her having been with Ruth when she was brought in.
Order them to break up, no. Suggest Billie leave while saying Ruth is in good hands so that they remain separated, sure.
It’s possible she is trying to be discreet. She does not know whether Ruth and Billie are Out and Open about their relationship so she might be trying to give them some safe words here.
Ruth’s reassuring smile and wave at the end is the sweetest thing.
It’s just so clearly saying “it’s okay Billie, I’ll be alright” and my heart may explode because of it
your name is so juvenile but your commentary is so smart and emotional. It confuses me
It is possible to be ridiculous and sincere at the same time. Much of life is absurd and silly even when we consider those parts deep and meaningful, which I’ve always felt adds to the beauty of it.
Also, I really expected to find myself making more bad puns and fart jokes when I picked my user name.
I don’t know about the second part, but I’ll second the first part.
she’s so adorable there.
I think Dr. Beverly timed her entrance purposely. Right to the point where Billy hugged Ruth and said she wouldn’t let her die. Enter, hi, big smiles, time to go home, and not worry.
I think Dr. B. knows their relationship and co-dependency, hope she does.
I’m so glad Ruth is at this point, it is too many feels, but its good.
I worry for Billy, but I’m hoping she will see that a healing Ruth still needs her, needs her hugs and her promises. With that, maybe she will go into therapy the way she has been told to do. I hope.
I do feel for Billie and I guess that I understand her confusion. Up to yesterday, everything was in a comprehensible (if disturbing) order – Ruth was borderline-suicidal and was isolating herself because she was afraid of the consequences of seeking help. Billie was her sole care-giver and confidante and, as damaging as it potentially was, Billie was adapted to this reality.
Now, suddenly, the whole world has become a lot more complex and I’m thinking that she doesn’t really know what her role is anymore. Ruth is able to show happiness and even show the degree to which she loves her. Ruth suddenly has competent and professional assistance and the whole ‘sexy lesbian suicide pact’ thing is suddenly looking like the fantasy of the lowest point. I think that a part of her wonders if she still has a role.
She does, of course; Ruth’s feelings for her haven’t changed. However, the familiar is comfortable and I wonder if she has the courage to be the anchor for a recovering Ruth.
I’m wondering if she doubts her ability to be there for her. I don’t doubt her having courage (look at what she did to Mary) I wonder if she doubts herself being good enough for Ruth. She could be worried that she might drag her back down, that the role she played hurt her more than helped her and now that she sees what actual help is, she’s doubting whether or not she can be that kind of person for her.
Wait, I’m confused, why is Billie pretending to be this “Jennifer” person?
Because she is, apparently. It’s her first name.
Her full name is actually Jennifer Billingsworth. I guess that’s what we get when we spend the whole comic only using her nickname XD
Jennifer Yunru Billingsworth, and according to her fake ID we have the same birthday. Fake ID her is a lot younger than me though.
I’m glad someone asked and answered this. I was reading this conversation like Billie was pretending to be another character, who might be someone that will interfere with her relationship with Ruth. Like in “While You Were Sleeping” or something.
Billie’s legal name is literally the first thing she says the first time she appears in the entire comic.
Note also how the box Linda Walkerton sent her is labeled. The others are labelled “David” and “Sally”, none of them the names the addressees actually use.
Well, that would require Linda to give a rat’s ass what the kids want to be called.
Oh, she’s sure both Jennifer and David will come around eventually.
In fairness, much like Sal, I wouldn’t expect Mrs Walkerton to call her son by a diminutive of their last name. The same for Billie, since they likely knew her parents first, it would just be strange.
There’s little excuse for “Sally” though.
David, I can get. Billie also has mixed feelings about the nickname, per Word of Willis, so sure, I can get that. Using ‘Sally’ over ‘Sal’ though is what makes it seem more like ‘I just don’t give a fuck what they want to be called’ than just feeling awkward about those particular nicknames.
I’m dreading the mother of all personality clashes here. It’s hard for most people to tolerate exuberantly cheerful people in situations where it’s utterly tactless to behave like that, let alone someone as curmudgeonly & emotionally fragile as Ruth.
The doctor has Billie confused with those Jennifers from Joyce’s social circle.
Hakuna Matata, Billie. Ruth is going to be fine.
A phrase I recently heard that seems to sum up Billie’s reaction to Dr Beverley: “People that chipper make me nervous!”
Okay, when does Doctor Beverly turn out to be evil? I don’t trust that much cheerfulness on a Willis character.
shes not evil
she probably just has crippling depression she hides behind a chipper mask.
nooooooooooo 🙁
the possibility of this almost makes me cry.
Lovebomby evangelical exploiting her position?
yep
This is all a futile effort. Until the Leafs win the Cup, there can be no truly happy Ruth.
Well, Joyce can try to cheer her up by telling her about how well the Cubs did this year!
Been tried, apparently counterproductive:
http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/image/152678112872
,
t h e r e s A g l it c h W il l l is p l e a s e D e l e t e T h is I mS o r r y I c a n t T y p e N o r m a l l y I t s M y P h o ne
I think I’ve realized the reason Ruth stuff doesn’t get to me the way Amber stuff does is because I don’t blame myself for being depressed the way I do for being abused or for feeling anger
It’s there and it’s awful, I just try to recognize it as something that will pass, but the shame I still feel regarding my own capacity for anger hasn’t gone away. It’s what I hate about myself the most.
Well, for the first time since I’ve started posting here, I can say with certainty and honesty that I know how you feel.
For a minute I thought Billie gave them a fake name. I totally forgot her name was Jennifer. >.<
This saddens me
The “Gilligan” question — is Beverly the doctor’s first or last name?
-“BB”-
Why can’t it be both? Some parents can be somewhat sadistic like that! 😀
I think this is probably good for Ruth. Probably something that Billie needs too.
Which is why I’m hoping she attends her therapy this week.
All Ruth, no Billie.
You shouldn’t be so dismissive, Doctor Beverly.
I mean, it’s her job to care for the patients. Friends and family shouldn’t have to feel that it’s entirely on them to cure someone with depression. But they also shouldn’t have to feel that they’re useless.
And if Doctor Beverly knows/suspects that Ruth and Billie were codependent, she should address that issue and suggest some kind of treatment for Billie too.
Billie IS getting treatment – she has therapy coming up this week and every week for the foreseeable future.
Visiting hour is almost up – it seemed to me like Beverly was trying to say ‘you don’t have to worry about Ruth being in here, she’s in good hands, we’ve got this I promise, there are no Nurse Ratcheds here.”
…Oh. I totally forgot that. Ooops! Hehe.
Crap. I’m usually the one who remembers plot details. -_-
Hey, no worries. Everyone forgets stuff sometimes. We’re human. No big. I’m one of the fussiest people about minor details in stories and I still archive dive to check details I forgot.
Took me a while to remember her name wasn’t Jennifer XD
Marcie is giving me butts disease right now.
Billie & Ruth are in a weird way what i crave for always.
That’s…not your job. Well, technically, it is. But still…
Don’t you do it, Willis. I’m old, years and years removed from this drama. But I’ve grown to care about these kids. Please keep her safe.
That was a very gentle way of separating a codependent pair at the close of visiting hours.