Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

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September 20, 2023

Who

by David M Willis on September 8, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Glower Vacuum

└ Tags: amazi-girl, dawson, ryan

Discussion (480) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 8, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

    “Hey baby, what is your problem? Huh, you got a problem? You’re good looking, you got a beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face, all these guys in love with you. Only you got a look in your eye like you haven’t been fucked in a year!”

    “Hey, Jose. Who, why, when, and how I fuck is none of your business, okay?”

    • JonRich
      JonRich
      September 8, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      Is that a reference? I don’t recognize it.

      • AriBerri
        AriBerri
        September 8, 2016 at 2:20 am | #

        It’s from Scarface which makes it even more hilarious XD

    • butting
      butting
      September 8, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

      G’wan, Ryan. Tell her she’d look prettier if she smiled more.

      • AriBerri
        AriBerri
        September 8, 2016 at 2:20 am | #

        I dunno, she’s smiling a whole heck of a lot in that last panel. More smiling might be just more scary.

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          September 8, 2016 at 5:30 am | #

          Any more smiling and she’d he showing skull! *Shudders.*

          • N0083rP00F
            N0083rP00F
            September 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm | #

            I don’t know about skull but she would be making a pretty good joker face.
            J-j-j-j-joker face.

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          September 8, 2016 at 9:22 am | #

          I dunno, all that menace kinda works for me

          • Disloyal Subject
            Disloyal Subject
            September 19, 2016 at 3:37 am | #

            Eeeyup.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      September 8, 2016 at 8:42 am | #

      “Juuuuust a few pieces of information, before we begin. I’m going to need your driver’s license number, Social Security, and contact information…

      FOR YOUR NEXT OF KIN.”

  2. Anorak
    Anorak
    September 8, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    He’s scarface.

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      He’s Two-Face.

      • Makkabee
        Makkabee
        September 8, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

        FAAAAAAACE!!!!

        • butts
          butts
          September 8, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

          I’m sorry, I believe you are mistaken. That is quite clearly a butt. Perhaps you should reference an anatomy textbook.

          • 3oranges
            3oranges
            September 8, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

            You said he is Two-Face and he acts like a butthead, so where else would his second face be?

            • Chief_of_Staves
              Chief_of_Staves
              September 8, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

              You’ll see it when he turns the other cheek.

          • Wheelpath
            Wheelpath
            September 8, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

            But femurs would be correct

            • butts
              butts
              September 8, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

              Butt femurs would not be correct.

          • zoelogical
            zoelogical
            September 8, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

            wait so it’s a buttface

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            September 8, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

            BUTTFAAAAAACE!

      • Baf
        Baf
        September 8, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        If he has any sense, he’ll be about face.

    • TheAnonymousGuy
      TheAnonymousGuy
      September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      The Roffier

      • Bill M.
        Bill M.
        September 8, 2016 at 1:41 pm | #

        The roofier, the roofier, the roofier is on fire! We don’t need no water, let the mother****er burn! Burn, mother****er, burn!

  3. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    September 8, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    I know he may not know she knows what he did, but he’s got a scar on his face. He should immediately assume she sees him as a supervillain worthy of defeating.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      September 8, 2016 at 2:03 am | #

      “Scars of Evil” at it’s finest. Yes that’s a trope name. Yes I purposefully did not make it a link, as I did not want to get anyone stuck in tvtropes.

      • GratefulCitizen
        GratefulCitizen
        September 8, 2016 at 9:55 am | #

        A true Good Guy Rukduk, everyone. +1

      • N0083rP00F
        N0083rP00F
        September 8, 2016 at 2:23 pm | #

        Yet Red Sonja was a good girl – a very good girl with a lot of amazing scars.
        What was she good at some may ask after looking at Boris paintings?
        She is amazing good with a sword, which is not so good for those she is using it on.

    • Annie
      Annie
      September 8, 2016 at 11:30 am | #

      But does anyone ever see themselves as a villain, as evil, as the bad guy?

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 8, 2016 at 11:33 am | #

        I do.

        You can read all about it on my Deviantart account, XxDeathGunztheHedgehogxX2001.

        • MatthewTheLucky
          MatthewTheLucky
          September 8, 2016 at 11:37 pm | #

          That’s the most convincing admission I’ve ever heard.

          • Clif
            Clif
            September 9, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

            Me too.

  4. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    September 8, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    This would be the perfect time for him to say, “I am the terror that flaps in the night!”

    • Daimonion
      Daimonion
      September 8, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      You made a typo there. it should be “I am the terror that faps in the night!”

      • butts
        butts
        September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        Dude.

        (Though he probably should, it’d be a waaaaay healthier outlet than… y’know)

      • JonRich
        JonRich
        September 8, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

        I love it. Great pun.

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      “I am the little mouse that eats your cheese!”

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 8, 2016 at 3:27 pm | #

        “Well F___ that little mouse, I’m an albatraoz.”

        • AGV
          AGV
          September 8, 2016 at 8:19 pm | #

          Well, scre that albatros cuz’ I’m a mudaf#*3/ Killer Whale with a jet
          *PEW PEW!*

  5. Disloyal Subject
    Disloyal Subject
    September 8, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Well, she’s certainly enthusiastic.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 8, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

      She just loooves meeting new people!

      • WhoWasI
        WhoWasI
        September 8, 2016 at 1:33 am | #

        AG: Don’t you remember me? Last time we met you were on the floor with blood on your face. And by coincident …

        • Ragingagnostic
          Ragingagnostic
          September 8, 2016 at 1:29 pm | #

          Well, no. I don’t think he would remember her, judging by his smiling enthusiasm at seeing her. He probably didn’t see her face or hear her voice and then he was crawling away to get out of reach from the girl who whacked him with a baseball bat.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      September 8, 2016 at 3:30 pm | #

      Subtlety isn’t her middle-name.

      She should re-brand as Ikea Woman! Servicing ALL your modular furnishing needs!

  6. Eric
    Eric
    September 8, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    I am amazed Amazi-Girl has ANY points in CHA.

    • pjeseb
      pjeseb
      September 8, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      Dorothy loaned some of her CHA points to Amazi-girl. Just until Dorothy starts her presidential campaign.

    • Dean
      Dean
      September 8, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

      She put all of her skill points into Intimidate, but gets a size penalty.

    • The Pink Bunny
      The Pink Bunny
      September 8, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

      When she puts on the costume, she trades in her Wisdom for Charisma

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 8, 2016 at 3:31 pm | #

        She put all her points into Strength and Agility, but her suit has 3 Charisma points. She needs to level a few more times to get the perk she is after.

    • N0083rP00F
      N0083rP00F
      September 8, 2016 at 2:28 pm | #

      She has that feat where she can use STR instead of CHA for intimidate checks.

      I think she has a few levels of monk or maybe barbarian, what with that rage thing and then weapons master prestige class. She is working her way to Jackie Chan levels where she can use any weapon feat with any weapon, including her Fists-to-the-faaaace technique.

      • modulusshift
        modulusshift
        September 8, 2016 at 4:17 pm | #

        She’s a social berserker. When she goes into berserk mode, she gains charisma, at a small cost to sanity. In order to keep sanity, she must assume the role of a superhero, heroic deeds restore sanity, villainous deeds lose sanity. Losing too much sanity causes loss of control or breakdowns, unless heroic deeds are done immediately.

        Anything can be gamified.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        September 8, 2016 at 7:32 pm | #

        Martial arts are typically a Monk thing, as is parkour, assuming D&D from stated terminology.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 8, 2016 at 2:31 pm | #

      What you didn’t notice is that Amazi-Girl went for the Renegade interrupt.

  7. Linkletter
    Linkletter
    September 8, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    “Fucked”. I believe the answer you’re looking for is “Fucked”.

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      September 8, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      DING! Number one answer with more than half of the survey’s respondants.

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        September 8, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

        Sorry, Family Feud is on an AWFUL lot in this market.

        • Smiling Cat
          Smiling Cat
          September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

          See, you say that, but all I can think of is Archer’s cancer rampage.

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

      Please, let’s hope not. Ryan trying to get himself fucked is how this whole shebang started.

      • ety
        ety
        September 8, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

        I think the fundamental problem is that Ryan is categorically not trying to get himself fucked.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

      I was thinking “very momentarily pleased to meet his hero(ine)”.

  8. Train Moblin
    Train Moblin
    September 8, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Amazi-Girl you dolt! You don’t have to ask, look at the tags!

    • Chief_of_Staves
      Chief_of_Staves
      September 8, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

      She’s immune to CRITICISM! The fourth wall, less so.

      • Train Moblin
        Train Moblin
        September 8, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

        What if we criticize the fourth wall?

        • Chief_of_Staves
          Chief_of_Staves
          September 8, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

          Then the wall gets a bonus to resistance as long as AG straddles it.

          • vlademir1
            vlademir1
            September 8, 2016 at 2:40 am | #

            Are you saying she’s atop the fourth wall?

            • ThatRobGuy
              ThatRobGuy
              September 8, 2016 at 9:49 am | #

              Where bad comics burn?

            • DSL
              DSL
              September 8, 2016 at 3:54 pm | #

              Until Sal tugs on her cape.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 8, 2016 at 1:24 am | #

          Stop blocking the light!

          (Am I doing that right?)

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 8, 2016 at 1:32 am | #

          That’s criticizing the comic. You can do it, but it’s a pane to do so.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 8, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

            Well I wouldn’t want to toss shade on it.

          • Willoughby Chase
            Willoughby Chase
            September 8, 2016 at 3:32 pm | #

            It’ll be curtains for all of us if we do!

  9. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    September 8, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Amazi-girl may be about to ruin any public support she has. We know he’s a would be rapist, but the crowd doesn’t.

    Not that she may care. She just wants someone she can justifiably pound the crap out of if he resists.

    • Michael
      Michael
      September 8, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      Yeah, can’t wait for everyone to talk about how Amazigirl beat up the innocent son of pastor.

    • TheOthin
      TheOthin
      September 8, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      This is far more clever than that. She’s not necessarily about to kick his ass, but she IS trying to get his information so she can find ways to deal with him later.

      (It’s worth noting that the crowd was willing to trust Amazi-Girl’s judgment of Sal, although there was definitely bigotry involved that wouldn’t apply to Ryan.)

      • butts
        butts
        September 8, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

        Well, yeah. That’s the whole thing, right? They assume Amazi-Girl is justified, because Sal looks like a ‘thug,’ but Ryan…

        • Silly Name
          Silly Name
          September 8, 2016 at 10:37 am | #

          You’re right, though I guess that big scar might be breaking his “average white dude” facade. It could be enough for some people to believe he’s dangerous.

      • Koms
        Koms
        September 8, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        I wish it could be something easy as she tricks him into admitting what he did and she somehow records it or broadcasts it or something so everybody will know. But why should he admit anything.

        • Silly Name
          Silly Name
          September 8, 2016 at 10:36 am | #

          Well, we know he tends to go crazy when things don’t go his way ( http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/smash/ ) so maybe AG can make him lose his cool and break down.

    • chris73
      chris73
      September 8, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      Hopefully shes trying to get as much information as she can about this guy…or shes about to go to town on him, either is good with me

    • showler
      showler
      September 8, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      Unless she’s planning a very public “discussion” of his drugging and attempted rape.

    • Just Me
      Just Me
      September 8, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      Getting a confession would be useful. Might not hold up in court, but it’s a start.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 8, 2016 at 1:33 am | #

        I think the only court that’s going to be involved here is full court press.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 8, 2016 at 7:48 am | #

      I’m pretty sure that’s where this is going. Between her involvement in a car chase and then beating on an innocent pastor’s son, I think eventually the police will start doubling down on putting an end to her.

      Which, if history is any indication on what Amber does when she thinks she can’t be Amazi-Girl anymore, involves taking another swing at Sal.

  10. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    September 8, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    He’s Ryan. The asshole.
    Although I don’t know if he advertises that last part.

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      It’s okay. Homegirl gonna plaster it all over his face.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

      Advertising his asshole is more of a Walky thing. *pfft*

      …. Sorry.

      (Not sorry.)

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        September 8, 2016 at 6:53 pm | #

        Not really his asshole, more his taint.

  11. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    September 8, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    If smiles could kill, then Ryan would be getting a massive headache right now.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

      Run for your life, Ryan! IT’S THE GRIN REAPER!

      (…. I don’t actually want you to get AWAY, but I’d rather see you die gasping for breath and a stitch in your side.)

      • Anorak
        Anorak
        September 8, 2016 at 5:25 am | #

        Do you mind if i borrow the grin reaper? That gave me an idea for a story.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 8, 2016 at 7:52 am | #

          Go for it! (I’m probably not the first one to come up with that pun, anyway.)

          • Ragingagnostic
            Ragingagnostic
            September 8, 2016 at 1:32 pm | #

            Isn’t the Reaper always grinning? He can’t really help it, being a skeleton.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      September 8, 2016 at 10:01 am | #

      That’s her ‘Blaine-grin’.

  12. Beige
    Beige
    September 8, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Seem’s his bittling left more than a scar – his entire nose has been consumed by the darkest void

    • John
      John
      September 8, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      In the Dumbiverse, people don’t have regular nostrils. They just have giant nose-tubes.

      • Chief_of_Staves
        Chief_of_Staves
        September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        Like Voldemort.

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          September 8, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

          Or Red Skull.

          • miados
            miados
            September 8, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

            or captain nose hose? oh wait that cant be a real one. i mean whats next stilt man?

      • Dex
        Dex
        September 8, 2016 at 8:56 am | #

        Nose tubes…?

        Oh god I never noticed it before.

        CANNOT UNSEE! CANNOT UNSEE!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

      As was fortold in the prophecies of Nostrildamus.

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      September 8, 2016 at 6:38 pm | #

      That’s a shadow. You know, where the sun doesn’t shine.

  13. Nono
    Nono
    September 8, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m personally thinking it can’t be a coincidence that Leslie and Roz are at this rally too.

    They’re going to get involved somehow.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      Yup, I doubt Roz is going to be especially happy hearing about what he did and I’d love her to get a moment of awesome in here.

  14. Fart Captor
    Fart Captor
    September 8, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Doesn’t she know she’s supposed to do the thing where she pronounces her logo at the START of the story?

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 8, 2016 at 1:27 am | #

      How is it said anyways? I get that the blue word bubble is ‘gravel voice’, but what about that font?

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 8, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

        Gregorian chant.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          September 8, 2016 at 2:07 am | #

          But how does she pull that off with only one person?

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 8, 2016 at 2:18 am | #

            I saw farther down it’s another one of her superpowers.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            September 8, 2016 at 2:28 am | #

            That’s nothing. The truly impressive part is pulling it off with only four syllables.

            • two-star
              two-star
              September 8, 2016 at 3:06 am | #

              It’s highly melismatic.

            • Slartibeast Button, BIA
              Slartibeast Button, BIA
              September 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm | #

              She studied with OTHAR TRYGGVASSEN, Gentleman Adventurer!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 8, 2016 at 3:38 pm | #

        Will Arnett Batman voice.

  15. Gevaisa
    Gevaisa
    September 8, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    ‘Do you want to know how I got these scars?’

    • Chief_of_Staves
      Chief_of_Staves
      September 8, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      He might call it a mugging, but it was more of an out-of-bottle experience.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 8, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

      “Yes, I do. Please tell Amazi-girl all about it.”

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

      Dammit beat me too it. Curse you forever or at least for the next two minutes.

  16. Urukak
    Urukak
    September 8, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Holy shit, has Ryan’s abstract nose hole always been that astronomically large?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

      No, that’s a recently-appearing stigmata.

  17. DinaWho
    DinaWho
    September 8, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    I love that Amazigirl has a logo font. I love even more that she can convey it through speech.

    • Lipke the Articulate
      Lipke the Articulate
      September 8, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      In trying to picture (er… what’s the sound version of “picture”?) it in my head, I only ever get the advertising-cliche “choir of angels” sound when the logo font comes up.

      • Nicolumbia
        Nicolumbia
        September 8, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

        Ooh, I love imagining how comics would be shot as movies! I’m imagining Amazi-Girl’s voice going sort of echoey when she says her logo, and at the same time there’s a fast zoom from a full body shot to the close-up in panel 4. Maybe a dolly zoom, those are cool.

        • miados
          miados
          September 8, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

          i picture her saying her name while every syllable is almost used as a different word. a may zi girl.

      • ety
        ety
        September 8, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

        Think like 90’s nickelodeon game show prize announcer, like “legends of the hidden temple,” or whatever.

    • John
      John
      September 8, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

      I want to see her meet OTHAR TRYGGVASSEN, Gentleman Adventurer.

      • Chief_of_Staves
        Chief_of_Staves
        September 8, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

        They’d get along… Smashingly, I’m sure. But who would be the sidekick?

        • Michael Steamweed
          Michael Steamweed
          September 8, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

          Agatha, of course. Rolling her eyes aaalll the way.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        September 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm | #

        Argh! Ninja’d!

  18. Achallenger
    Achallenger
    September 8, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    now you fucked up

  19. Blaziken386
    Blaziken386
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    “I’m Ryan, also known as ‘The dude who keeps his pet worm on his face'”

  20. Lan
    Lan
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    “I’m the guy that’s about to get his shit pushed in aren’t I?”
    “Yeeeep!”

  21. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Y’know to play devil’s advocate, I’m not sure if she’s just planning to kick his ass or what. Because he’s certainly not going to jail. It’s been far too long since the incident so the only justifiable way to prove it would be through testimony rather than hard evidence, especially since it was a failed attempt. If anything, trying to go legal would incriminate them far more than him for his scar.

    • adam
      adam
      September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      Possession of Rohypnol, catching him in the act ( roofying, Not rape ) , filming him in the act,
      Sting Operation to do all of the above.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 8, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      She’s got a trebuchet set up and hidden outside. She just needs to lure him to the right spot and fling him into the next county over.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        September 8, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

        You left off setting him on fire first…

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          September 8, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

          No no no …if you do that, you’re just ASKING for the body to be found

        • ety
          ety
          September 8, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

          Covering him in feces might be slightly more traditional.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 8, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

        And let us never speak of this storyline again. (Except for hanging a lampshade)

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

      I mean, yeah, they don’t really have anything but testimony, and the conviction rates on sexual assaults in the best of cases are, shall we say, not stellar. Still, at the very least they’ll have his name.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      Oh, yeah, 100% he’s not going to jail, but then he most likely wouldn’t even if Joyce did try and report. So something else is definitely at foot and I’m kinda curious, kinda anxious to see where AG is going with this.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 8, 2016 at 1:44 am | #

        “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to kick you in the balls about twenty times with my heavy duty boots, and then let you crawl away. And then I’ll do it next week. And the week after that. And over and over and over again until you’re no longer physically capable of utilizing that portion of your anatomy to harm anyone ever again. If you want to avoid this fate in subsequent weeks, you will voluntarily get yourself castrated before a week from today. I doubt it’s the perfect solution, but we won’t know until we try, so let’s put it to the testes.”

      • Annie
        Annie
        September 8, 2016 at 11:44 am | #

        Yeah, that’s what I was thinking Cerb. That even if Joyce had gone to the police right away, he still would have had almost nothing happen to him.
        I can’t help but feel like that any of us that went to college/university anywhere in the States would be well aware of this.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 8, 2016 at 7:44 am | #

      Yeah, there’s sadly no way he’s going to jail here.

      I’m guessing Amber eventually realizes this and settles on kicking the shit out of him like Sal did to Leland, and maybe plastering his name and face everywhere.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      September 8, 2016 at 10:24 am | #

      Not going to jail, not dying, nothing that takes longer to resolve than a few hours of in-comic time. That will be enough.

  22. Shiro
    Shiro
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    …not even gonna lie, this strip is kinda cathartic for me. Can I get Amazi-Girl to come be vaguely menacing at the dude who assaulted me, too?

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      September 8, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

      I’d read that fanfic.

      • butts
        butts
        September 8, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

        The good kind of revenge fantasy!

    • miados
      miados
      September 8, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      well it would likely have to be a comission unless you do it yourself or know someone who just wants to make you smile or something. i dunno i am overthinking it

      • ety
        ety
        September 8, 2016 at 5:39 pm | #

        I’d offer to try drawing that, but my artwork, while never great, is even more spectacularly worse right now because I’ve spent most of this year so far not doing it.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      *Appropriate gesture of support* And… yeah. Definitely, yeah.

      • Shiro
        Shiro
        September 8, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

        Appreciated, thank you ♥ Hmm…may have to write a thing at some point? It’d be ridic self-indulgent, but there are worse things in the world.

        • butts
          butts
          September 8, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

          People do way more self-indulgent things for incredibly stupid reasons. If you’ve got a story to tell, and you feel comfortable telling it, don’t let that stop you. Hell, you might even end up helping other people.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          September 8, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

          Do it. We got your back.

        • miados
          miados
          September 8, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

          if it will make you happy take a shot.

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          September 8, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

          Writing fan-fic about yourself sounds completely ridiculous in the best way

          • miados
            miados
            September 8, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

            well lots of people put themself into a fictional world. sounds like they would put a fictional character in their real world.

        • ety
          ety
          September 8, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

          Yes! Go for it!

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          September 8, 2016 at 3:44 pm | #

          Can’t be any worse than, say, 99 % of the existing fanfic. And if it helps you, it’s all golden.

        • Annie
          Annie
          September 8, 2016 at 11:21 pm | #

          I’ve long found that writing self-indulgent stories, letters-you-never-send, fanfic, etc is immensely cathartic and can actually be cathartic for others to read too.

          Those of us that have been assaulted, attacked, abused, raped can find similarities in the experiences of others. As much as I wish that no one else on the planet had been stalked, coerced, and abused like I had been, it’s cathartic to, say, read 50 Shades fanfic (hatefic? Is that a thing?) where Ana catches on to how she’s being abused and Christian gets his ass kicked and sent to prison.

          There’s nothing I can say to ease what you went through, but I can say that writing about your attacker actually getting his just comeuppance takes a huge weight off the heart and mind.

          ((hugs))

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        September 8, 2016 at 9:00 am | #

        Is it Mary Sue to let a fictional character avenge a real-world crime?

        Maybe.

        DOO EET ANYWAAAAAY

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 8, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

      By my understanding at least 5% of the commenters want/need that to happen as well. So, Kickstarter, GoFundMe, or a different platform?

    • Geneseepaws
      Geneseepaws
      September 8, 2016 at 6:41 am | #

      Many people find it very freeing/cathartic to write it out, especially even if you don’t show anyone else. That way you can include all the pain without having to explain it to anyone.
      There is even a thing where you write out the anger and hate, and sadness then burn the pages. … With FIRE!
      I found it very freeing. It released a lot of pain and I felt wonderfully free.

  23. Lipke the Articulate
    Lipke the Articulate
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    IT WAS EXACTLY MIDNIGHT AND THE NEXT LINK WASN’T WORKING AND I WAS FREAKING OUT AND THEN IT WAS MIDNIGHT+5 AND IT STILL WASN’T WORKING and then I checked the twitter feed and realized a link had been posted from there so I calmed down…

    • WhoWasI
      WhoWasI
      September 8, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

      I’m still trying to understand how people can comment at 12:01 when I’ve NEVER gotten the even the main page to load before 12:06!

      • butts
        butts
        September 8, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

        The secret is to not have a life.

        • Lipke the Articulate
          Lipke the Articulate
          September 8, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

          Yeah, see, normally I stop by at like 12:30 ‘cuz I’m playing Warframe or whatever and don’t notice the clock. But THIS time I was reading Shortpacked!

          • ety
            ety
            September 8, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

            Reading and replying to comments on this comic is keeping me up far later than I’d like (4am-ish the last few nights when otherwise I’d have been asleep those nights).

            • WhoWasI
              WhoWasI
              September 8, 2016 at 1:50 am | #

              I know. I’ve said before that this strip is playing havoc with my sleep cycles, and that Willis is turning hundreds of sleep-deprived people loose on the world.

              • butts
                butts
                September 8, 2016 at 1:52 am | #

                He’s constructing an army. It’s all part of his master plan.

                • WhoWasI
                  WhoWasI
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

                  I don’t want to be a Dombie! Or is that Wombie? (I’m going to bed.)

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:38 am | #

                  I’d like to blame Willis for MY sleep problems, but my insomnia started way before I clicked on that “David Willis Eats Diapers” link.
                  Of course, if Dumbing of Age WAS the cause of my ridiculous sleep hours, I would happily accept them.

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:54 am | #

                  I was just starting to reel things in under control (for the first time ever basically) and trying to keep up with the comments here blew that out of the water. Otherwise, I wouldn’t attempt to blame the comic for it.

                • Anorak
                  Anorak
                  September 8, 2016 at 5:32 am | #

                  Willis, can i be a general in the army?

                • Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:38 pm | #

                  You have to work your way up through the ranks. In comic book time.

                  On the bright side, “up or out” will never be a problem.

  24. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I encourage violence!

    • miados
      miados
      September 8, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      considering we know what he did, but nobody else there does it might not be a good result to do so. Maybe drag him on stage and…….. encourage him to reveal the truth then end it with a quick bit of pain might be better.

    • Briny
      Briny
      September 8, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      “Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of Ryan… has been approved.”

      • Chief_of_Staves
        Chief_of_Staves
        September 8, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

        “Batons?”
        “Check.”
        “Ammunition?”
        “Check.”
        “Groin zappers?”
        “You mean stun guns, right?”
        “Depends on how you aim them.”

        • miados
          miados
          September 8, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

          I have a new external anti depressant. I spray other people with it and it makes me happy observe

          sprays him

          most people call it pepper spray.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 8, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

            Would salt spray be racist or just a bad idea?

            • miados
              miados
              September 8, 2016 at 1:44 am | #

              i cant think of how it would be racist

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                September 8, 2016 at 2:19 am | #

                Perhaps just a stupid joke then.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            September 8, 2016 at 1:48 am | #

            Nonono. For him, it’s breath freshener.

          • Vampire Chipmunk
            Vampire Chipmunk
            September 8, 2016 at 10:29 am | #

            This just made me laugh for five straight minutes. I needed that. Thank you, Miados.

    • Belle
      Belle
      September 8, 2016 at 12:34 pm | #

      Critical Role reference? 😀

  25. tbf
    tbf
    September 8, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    What if he doesn’t realize he’s the bad guy? He didn’t technically rape that girl, then that other girl started beating him up and Amazi-Girl helped him escape from his assailant. She’s on his side, right?

    • Smiling Cat
      Smiling Cat
      September 8, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      I’m sure he doesn’t. Even if he had successfully raped Joyce he wouldn’t think he was the bad guy.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 8, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

        But he might realize that OTHER people could think he was the bad guy.

    • TheOthin
      TheOthin
      September 8, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      It’s unlikely that he thinks she’s on his side. He probably overheard Amazi-Girl showing up and offering to help Joyce in the first place, and he seemed to have left because he noticed her moving towards him.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      September 8, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      …doesn’t realise he’s the bad guy ? He drugged her, for fuck sake.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        What’s a roofie between friends?

      • tbf
        tbf
        September 8, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        You don’t have to convince me he’s the bad guy. But humans are great at rationalizing and rewriting their memories and casting themselves as the hero or victim. And he was the only one successfully assaulted that night, by broken glass and baseball bat. And has proof too.

        • Some1
          Some1
          September 8, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

          Maybe the baseball bat gave him brain damage, he actually does not know who he is.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 8, 2016 at 1:39 am | #

            So if he has a form of amnesia, and not only doesn’t remember his actions, but would now find the abhorrent, should he be vilified for them?

            • Some1
              Some1
              September 8, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

              Let me just go get a degree in philosophy with a minor in psychology and maybe a few years of law school.

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                September 8, 2016 at 2:21 am | #

                I know, right? The stuff of debate nightmares. I’ve either seen plotlines with this, or subjects in my old philosophy books. Perhaps both.

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:55 am | #

                  That’s… that’s a very good one

            • Rukduk
              Rukduk
              September 8, 2016 at 2:14 am | #

              Shit that’s a good question.

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                September 8, 2016 at 2:21 am | #

                Thinking of shit like that for me is a bit of “blessed with suck”, imo.

        • Willoughby Chase
          Willoughby Chase
          September 8, 2016 at 10:09 am | #

          All the bad guys sleep well at night. It’s the good ones who have nightmares.

      • Smiling Cat
        Smiling Cat
        September 8, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        He wouldn’t have drugged her in the first place if he somehow felt guilt or responsibility over it.

      • miados
        miados
        September 8, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        people can logic away almost anything.

        “a few hundred years ago i could have just taken her due to my strength over her and kept her. its society that is wrong not me”

        something like that could be going in his mind.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          September 8, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

          He could have any number of terrible justifications, that boys will be boys, that she just needed to loosen up but actually wanted him, etc etc. He called her a tease at the time. Awful people rarely know that they’re awful.

          • miados
            miados
            September 8, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

            which is why in fiction most of the best villains are the ones who think they are the hero. even if its not some form of logic you would agree with or use its better for the villain to have a reason for his/her evil.

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        September 8, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

        There are absolutely men out there who feel that entitled. He’s probably quite aware that it’s “wrong” and he can get in trouble for it, but actually believing he did anything morally wrong? I doubt it.

      • bryy
        bryy
        September 8, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

        He probably has no idea. You have to remember that a majority of men in this country think that sex is owed to them, and that rape is completely acceptable in order to get it.

        Knowing society sees it as wrong is not the same thing as knowing it is wrong.

        And think about it.
        Ryan tried to rape JOYCE.
        JOYCE, of all people.

        And his words? He was yelling at Joyce because she refused to sleep with him, and he totally thought it was HER FAULT that she wouldn’t. And then he tried to use sex as a PUNISHMENT.

        I would not be surprised if Ryan was from the same church as Joyce’s parents. All of the men in that congregation have one thing in common: they all think women are basically subhuman cattle.

        • trlkly
          trlkly
          September 8, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

          Not a majority. Around 1 in 20. Still way too fucking high, but not everyone.

          That’s actually part of the problem. The guys that consider rape horrible think there can’t really be guys out there that don’t. It’s just so obvious. And so they assume innocence way too much of others.

          • Fart Captor
            Fart Captor
            September 8, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

            Yeah, that’s one reason I really like how Ryan is depicted. Prior to the scar, completely average, generic white dude. As much as TV would have people believe that all rapists are obviously creepy-looking, they are completely indistinguishable from anyone else.

            • Orion Fury
              Orion Fury
              September 8, 2016 at 1:42 am | #

              We have seen the face of evil, and it is ours?

              • Geneseepaws
                Geneseepaws
                September 8, 2016 at 7:01 am | #

                I think Walt would approve of that new wording!

                • Orion Fury
                  Orion Fury
                  September 9, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

                  Thank you, I try.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            September 8, 2016 at 8:45 am | #

            More complicated. There was a study floating around that had about 1 in 6 college men admitting to rape if you described it, but didn’t use the word rape.

            Nearly everyone considers rape horrible. They just differ on what they counts as rape. Even when they’re excusing rapists (or themselves), it’s mostly by thinking it wasn’t really rape.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          September 8, 2016 at 8:10 am | #

          He wasn’t even yelling at Joyce because she refused to sleep with him. He never asked. He never gave her the opportunity to refuse. He was yelling at Joyce because she refused to go into the (gross) bathroom where he’d be able to rape her.
          There was never any intention or attempt at consensual sex. The plan was drug and rape from the very start.

      • zoelogical
        zoelogical
        September 8, 2016 at 1:33 am | #

        as i understand it the rationale for rape tends to go that the rapist thinks they’re entitled to sex, and that roofies/whatever are just making it easier to get what they want. the assumption is that the other person actually wants what the rapist wants, they just don’t know that they want it, or aren’t going to say that they want it, or just need some persuasion. they prioritize their own wants over the other person entirely.

        this is why promoting consent as an essential part of sex/romance has been such a big part of anti-rape campaigning. introducing it as a crucial step in the process means that people who’ve never thought of sex outside of want/need/get can slow down and introduce it and think about it – and, i mean, not everyone involved in that necessarily has bad intentions, sometimes it’s just that the culture has never raised the questions or thought them worth asking. but it’s a really important clarification that needs to be spread.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 8, 2016 at 1:50 am | #

        Look, obviously that girl just needed help loosening up some, she was so uptight.

        [/scum of the earth]

    • Woobie
      Woobie
      September 8, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      He did sneak off.

    • adam
      adam
      September 8, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

      Nah, he knows.
      He just has the “Nice Guy” Act down to lure people in.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/smash/

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      September 8, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

      If there’s a guy out there who goes around drugging girls and doesn’t consider himself the bad guy…actually, that guy almost definitely exists somewhere and now I’m sad.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 8, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        Most folks who do terrible things don’t consider themselves the bad guys. And with rape, there’s a lot of cultural messages to normalize it.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          September 8, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

          Hell to the yes on this.

          And I think there is not just about rape specifically, our culture sends out a lot of other messages too.

          One of the most used, and at the same time one of the more unrealistic tropes from any action movies, is when bad guys appear to know of and think of themselves as the villains. This hardly ever actually happen in real life. We all think of ourselves as the “hero” in our own life story. Which is one more reason we need other people, to tell us when we’re actually not.

          Add to this that we are often so hung up with -being- the hero, that we forget that it’s really about -doing- the heroic thing that is important. As Sam Vimes once thought in “Night Watch” (I think): You can’t be the good guy and do the bad guy thing. A subtle kick to the kind of “hero” movies where a hero can do practically anything as heinous as possible and still be portrayed as good (24 is probably the best example here).

          Now, take these views to the extreme, and in your “story”, you may be starting to think of everyone who disagrees with you as a “villain”. And therefore, you can do anything you want to them, because you are per definition the good guy, so anything you do can’t be bad.

          • Dandi_Andi
            Dandi_Andi
            September 8, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

            To quote the great Tim Minchin,

            “You’ll be Dividing us into terrorists and heroes
            Into normal folk and weirdos
            Into good people and pedos”

            In the flashback arc, I mentioned that Leland was probably a great student academically. We (culturally) construct an idea around that performance that Leland is one of the “good kids” and poor performers are “bad kids” and “troublemakers”. While the impact that has on children of color is its own huge issue, that kind of “good kid” mentality promotes an equally toxic (albeit culturally advantageous) mentality for its beneficiaries.

            I was the “good kid” in my grade school years. I was the devout Christian kid, loved Jesus, did well in school, spoke “proper” English. I could spend all night telling stories of shit I got away with that I absolutely should not have gotten away with. It doesn’t take long to start buying into that narrative. “I’m a good kid, so none of the horrible stuff I do is really that bad.” I could convince myself that no matter what I did, I either had a good reason or it was some kind of innocent, harmless mistake. The school administrators were more than happy to indulge that fantasy. In a lot of ways, I was a narcissistic little monster.

            It also makes it hard to see when other people have done something horrible. People who kick children into rebar filled death pits are horrible people, but Leland is a good person. He wouldn’t do that. Rapists are horrible people with criminal records, but Ryan is a good person and the son of a pastor. He just wouldn’t do something like that. Brock Turner is a good person with a promising future, I chose not to believe that he could do something so horrible because accepting that a “good person” could chose to do something so reprehensible shakes my fundamental assumption that people are basically good and that bad people are easily identified by simple visual clues like the color of their skin, the fit of their pants, or whether or not their sweater has a hood on it.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

      CONTENT WARNING: General awfulness about sexual assault

      Oh, I’m sure he doesn’t view himself as a bad guy at all, just one who’s good at the game, cleverer than most, able to get the prize of sex from even the most guarded and virginal of prey. And the fact that he takes what he wants means that he’s truly alpha and a master of his craft. A real man’s man.

      After all, as adam’s link notes, he works hard at his sport and he has no time for the games and teasing of women who think they are too good for their central purpose to him. [/thatawfulperspective]

      Ugh, I’ve been studying these assholes way too long. I need a shower.

      • Some1
        Some1
        September 8, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

        if you need drugs for that, you aren’t as good as you think you are.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          September 8, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

          In the mind of a rapist, that’s just a sign of how clever they are.

          CONTENT WARNING: More awful

          Everyone else “pussying about” trying to pretend to like the sex objects and getting to know them and all that talking, when they can just sneak a little “shortcut” into their drink and get what “everyone’s after” faster.

          • Some1
            Some1
            September 8, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

            You know, I can understand how people like Mary and Mike can justify there actions. (I don’t agree with them at all though)

            Mike is just using tough love on people.

            Mary is saving the world from Godless heathens. (yes I know this is bullshit)

            I dont agree with Mike’s philosophy or Mary’s…anything but I can understand why Mary sees the world that way.

            However, I simply cannot fathom how someone could justify something like what Ryan did.

            • Idontcarenomore
              Idontcarenomore
              September 8, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

              I agree with you. I see what Mike and Mary do, disagree with it, but can understand, to a point, why. It’s odd that I love Mike and can’t stand Mary, but there it is.

              But what Ryan did, I’m with you I cannot understand how he can justify what he did.

              When he was caught he ran, he knows what he’s doing/has done is wrong in others eyes. So at least he is that aware.

            • Fart Captor
              Fart Captor
              September 8, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

              CONTENT WARNING: Even more awful

              It’s simple! You start by being really entitled, then continue on to feeling you deserve things. That’s basically ambition, right? No? Let’s encourage the hell out of it just in case. Now start believing that you are owed things when you are “made” to want them.

              Ryan spent maybe a whole hour smiling and making conversation, and she smiled and did not flee in terror! The contract was sealed. Because women smiling at you and being polite isn’t friendliness or courtesy. They only do that if they want you. That and being pretty. If they didn’t want you to want them they wouldn’t be so pretty. Making you want something and then refusing to give it to you would be cruel, so now that you want to sleep with her, she owes it to you

              …and on and on and on with each little poisonous grotesque rationalization piling up and piling up until the entitlement reaches critical mass and I throw up everywhere just thinking of all the dudebros from college that it reminds me of

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                September 8, 2016 at 1:53 am | #

                CONTENT WARNING: Mike’s an asshole.

                …

                Wait, that’s not right. Spoiler? Opinion?

                Anyways, I think that’s also a part of that whole ‘toxic masculinity’ thing too. About how sex is the pinnacle of control, though it’s not worded as such. When that shit’s been drilled into you as ‘the truth of the world’, it can be hard to break out of it. I’ve had to remind myself a couple of times when I was younger “That smile just means she happy, and not necessarily that she wants to have sex with you.”

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  September 8, 2016 at 7:12 am | #

                  What Fart Captor and Orion Fury said.

                • Orion Fury
                  Orion Fury
                  September 9, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

                  Thanks.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                September 8, 2016 at 8:18 am | #

                Still content warning:
                He didn’t really spend an hour making conversation. He spent a couple of strips – maybe 5 minutes – before starting his plan to get her alone and drugged. He wound up spending longer only because she accidentally foiled his plans by actually finding people to play board games and not wanting the drink he’d brought.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              September 8, 2016 at 1:58 am | #

              Well first, I don’t think Mike tries to justify what he does as “tough love”. I think he just does it, and classifies it as awesome. Justification? Who needs that? Mike’s never met a justification that was anything more than hypocrisy that was easily torn to shreds.

              And I think maybe that’s part of what’s going on with Ryan. He doesn’t need a justification. Justification is for thinkers, not for doers. It’s for getting other people off his back if he’s dumb enough to get caught. It’s not for him. He just sees what he wants and he takes it. You don’t need any more justification for that than for picking a shiny penny up off the sidewalk. The penny’s not going to fight back.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                September 8, 2016 at 1:28 pm | #

                Yes, I think Relzik has it.
                Ryan didn’t see Joyce as a person in the first place, but as a “mark”. He has probably never considered that she has feelings, let alone what those feelings are or that they’re important, except as a temporary obstacle to getting what he wants.

                Mike is like that with everyone. He gets that feelings exist, but considers them malleable fodder for his own amusement. He’s an asshole, because he’s an asshole.

                I forget exactly how Granny Weatherwax says it, but wickedness is when you treat people like things.

                • Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  September 8, 2016 at 3:00 pm | #

                  “It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black-and-white issue. There are so many shades of gray.”
                  “There’s no grays, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.”
                  “It’s a lot more complicated than that-”
                  “No. It ain’t. When people say things are more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”
                  “Oh, I’m sure there are worse crimes-”
                  “But they starts with thinking about people as things…”

                • Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  September 8, 2016 at 3:02 pm | #

                  That didn’t go so well. Last quote for Carpe Jugulum https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Discworld#Carpe_Jugulum_.281998.29

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  September 8, 2016 at 5:48 pm | #

                  Yay!

    • Tan
      Tan
      September 8, 2016 at 2:15 am | #

      Probably he views it as basically equivalent to jaywalking or speeding. Sure it’s TECHNICALLY illegal, but really it “doesn’t hurt anyone” (NOTE: I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS OPINION; RAPE DEFINITELY HURTS PEOPLE), it just gets him where he’s going faster as long as he doesn’t get caught by one of those ball-busting every-dumb-little-law-is-important types.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        September 8, 2016 at 1:15 pm | #

        Ryan definitely has no idea he hurt Joyce. From his extremely limited/wrongheaded point of view, it wouldn’t have been a big deal in the first place, and he didn’t even succeed! Like, Joyce teased him and then punched him with a glass, he’s the one who got a facial scar and maybe a broken rib, he’s the victim of the night. /barf

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      September 8, 2016 at 10:27 am | #

      Bill Cosby doesn’t think he’s a bad guy. Neither does Darren Sharper, though he’s at least in jail.

      Reminds me of the Sandman episode where he visits a pedophile convention and gives them dreams that destroy their fantasy justifications. Several immediately commit suicide.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        September 8, 2016 at 1:17 pm | #

        Man, that comic is so good.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          September 8, 2016 at 1:32 pm | #

          It sure is. In hindsight it really only has one bad story.

          The Cereal convention and the introduction of the Corinthian were pretty awesome, and the storyline about Doctor Destiny driving a small café mad and then returning their sanity to let them know what happened, agh.

          There’s a part of me that sort of prefers the played up horror aspect of the first two trades, but Sandman didn’t really become Sandman until it evolved beyond that.

  26. Jess
    Jess
    September 8, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Love that grin in the last panel. Someone’s about to get the remains of his face handed to him on a plate.

  27. Makkabee
    Makkabee
    September 8, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    Wrath of God comin’ son of a preacher man’s way…

    • Cybersnark
      Cybersnark
      September 8, 2016 at 12:05 pm | #

      Already come and gone and left a scar and possibly a concussion.

      Amazi-Girl’s playing catch-up.

  28. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    September 8, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    Plays Disturbed’s “Who” on the hacked Muzak.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7n9e3rtxj0

    • TheGrammarLegionary
      TheGrammarLegionary
      September 8, 2016 at 2:06 am | #

      Not bad, love the song, but as much as I love Disturbed, I gotta go with Foo Fighters’ “Pretender” on this one.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ

  29. Foxhack
    Foxhack
    September 8, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    I have an idea for a joke here but half of it is a rape joke and so it shall remain in the mind bin.

    That said, the dude is reacting way, way too casually here. Something is definitely up with him.

    • WhoWasI
      WhoWasI
      September 8, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      Remember the BS he spewed at the party. He thinks he’s Teflon Boy, the untouchable preachers son that can manipulate anyone.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      Thank you for that.

      And yes, I agree, he’s way too casual, way too chill. It sets me on edge.

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        September 8, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

        We don’t even know if Joyce is his only victim, he could have a rap sheet for all we know.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          September 8, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

          Oh, he’s definitely a serial rapist. His attack plan on Joyce was way too measured and practiced for Joyce to have been his first target.

          • Some1
            Some1
            September 8, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

            I like to think that if he’s a serial rapist, he’s a really crappy one, and has never actually succeeded.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              September 8, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

              Well, I definitely would prefer to believe that as that would be better for the women in his world, but I doubt that’s actually the case, unfortunately.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              September 8, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

              He was way too smooth. I can’t imagine a first-timer would handle an hour worth of setbacks before losing his cool. That boy had experience.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 8, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      Now that I think of it, did he even see Amazi-Girl at the party? He slunk off in the distraction she created, but he could have been gone before she made her way through the crowd…

    • Neeks
      Neeks
      September 8, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      Nah, see, when any kind of authority figure or potential threat comes up to you for any reason, act like you have nothing to worry about. Either you were right anyway, or they might unconsciously mimic your casualness and it can help de-escalate a situation.

      Or he genuinely believes he has nothing to worry about here because a) he did nothing wrong and b) how could a GIRL possibly kick his ass (source of his scar notwithstanding; that being said, you just know the people in his personal life were given another story about how he got it).

      • Neeks
        Neeks
        September 8, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

        (in case clarification is needed, quite a lot of that last paragraph was sarcasm.)

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

      We know from the party that he’s got a very good poker face.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 8, 2016 at 4:14 pm | #

        Well, now he has a very good poked in the face.

  30. Jason
    Jason
    September 8, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    “I’m the guy who’s looking for the girl who gave me this scar so I can sue her.”

    (he’s an asshole)

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

      He gives assholes a bad name, frankly.

      • Chief_of_Staves
        Chief_of_Staves
        September 8, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

        Agreed. Assholes serve an important purpose. They not only help void waste that could be harmful if retaine, their internal sphincters also allow you to choose where to void so that dangerous predators will have more of a struggle tracking you.

        Assholes have importantly functions within their overall system. This guy? Not so much. Though he may still get wiped out and the results carefully disposed of.

    • Idontcarenomore
      Idontcarenomore
      September 8, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

      I think Joyce gave him the scar when she broke the bottle in his face, and Sarah attacked him with the baseball bat.

      Amazi Girl never got to him.

      • Jason
        Jason
        September 8, 2016 at 1:48 am | #

        I know. I was referring to Joyce.

  31. Joner
    Joner
    September 8, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    KICK HIS ASS

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      Got to get that name first tho.

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        September 8, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

        I dunno, the manual clearly reads:
        (1) Kick ass
        (2) Take names

        • butts
          butts
          September 8, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

          Sometimes you do have to do (2) before (1), though. (1) sometimes precludes (2).

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            September 8, 2016 at 2:25 am | #

            Right.  Because dead men tell no tales.

          • Cybersnark
            Cybersnark
            September 8, 2016 at 12:08 pm | #

            Right, it’s the whole “pillage before you burn” rule.

        • Emperor Norton II
          Emperor Norton II
          September 8, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

          Not only that, but there’s a reason for the manual to be worded like it is.

          Kicking ass is straining activity. It can even harm your foot if done wrong, or if you do it too much.

          So when you have more ass than you can healthily kick, -that is when you take their names, so that you have a list of asses to kick at a later point!

        • Lipke the Articulate
          Lipke the Articulate
          September 8, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

          I love these comment sections.

          • trlkly
            trlkly
            September 8, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

            And I’m loving your new name.

            • Lipke the Articulate
              Lipke the Articulate
              September 8, 2016 at 2:39 am | #

              I’m thinking that’s how imma sign stuff if I ever get that far as a writer.

              • ety
                ety
                September 8, 2016 at 11:14 am | #

                Are you working on anything?

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:32 pm | #

                  Yeah, but progress is… fluctuating.
                  It’s an idea that has been evolving for years and also takes a ton of different ideas from things I worked on when I was a kid and stuff, but it’s a solid idea now so it shouldn’t continue to take me years. However, when I sit down and start trying to plan it, I inevitably restart to the point I’m at now- normally with one or two little ideas kept.
                  I do get a bit further each time I scrap it, so at this rate I’ll probably be able to start writing by Christmas. It’ll be a freakin’ miracle.

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 3:45 pm | #

                  Ahahaha, yeah, I know that process. I finally started the project I’m working on now with the attitude of “Even if it’s crap, I succeed if I finish.”

                  and having conversations with myself along the lines of “Oh you’ve spent a week trying to figure this aspect out and haven’t yet? Too bad, now you’re just going to go with ___ idea and do the best you can. NEXT!”

                  Worldbuilding! and all that pain-in-the…

                  I’m determined to both actually start and finish something this time.

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 4:56 pm | #

                  See, worldbuilding is something I’d like to think I’m pretty good at. The hard part for me right now is timeline…ing.

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 5:15 pm | #

                  The worldbuilding is actually the fun part… there’s just a lot of it.

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 6:02 pm | #

                  I mean I’ve got most of a plot…. I’m only missing the climax and the conclusion… how bad could that possibly be?

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 6:47 pm | #

                  I’ve got tons of plot points, especially a climax and conclusion, but my big issue is where everything else fits together…

        • Joner
          Joner
          September 8, 2016 at 1:22 pm | #

          half-way through the ass kicking be like “hey btw what’s your name I didn’t catch it”

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          September 8, 2016 at 4:16 pm | #

          I must have the wrong manual. mines says:
          1) Kick Ass
          2) Chew Bubblegum

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            September 8, 2016 at 4:17 pm | #

            Was really embarrassing the time I got that mixed up.

            • Fart Captor
              Fart Captor
              September 8, 2016 at 4:53 pm | #

              ”I’m here to chew gum and kick ass”

              ”…and I’m all out of ass”

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        September 8, 2016 at 2:04 am | #

        Taking names is a lot easier to do if you kick his ass into submission and then rifle through his wallet for ID.

  32. Neeks
    Neeks
    September 8, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    …said the spider to the fly

  33. miados
    miados
    September 8, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    depending on how she plays this she will be a hero or make him a victim. we know things that pretty much nobody else there knows after all.

    Imagine how joyce will feel if she sees her rapist in the school paper being swooned over by girls because he got beat to a pulp by a vigilante.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 2:06 am | #

      …. actually it’s kind of scary to imagine a whole lot of future victims swooning over him. Because I don’t think the roofie is just an easy-way-to-get-sex thing for him. I think it’s a kink that he’d keep doing even if he had other options all around.

      • miados
        miados
        September 8, 2016 at 2:41 am | #

        yes but if amazigirl just beats him and the people dont know the why like we do he will likely be made into the victim and draw sympathy for being randomly attacked by the vigilante. After all unlike with sal who body slammed her she walked up to this guy in a way that to them, not knowing his history/story, would seem like a random unprovoked attack.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 8, 2016 at 2:50 am | #

          I’m not disagreeing with you’re scenario, I’m just seeing a whole layer of extra awful to it.

          • ety
            ety
            September 8, 2016 at 6:03 pm | #

            This is one of the few times I can say *your 😛

  34. Tenzhi
    Tenzhi
    September 8, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

    “I’m Tomax… have you seen my brother Xamot around?”

  35. Tacos
    Tacos
    September 8, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    Who is he? He’s Ryan. Soon to be better know as Dead.

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

      Umm… let’s hope not. The last thing Amber needs is to have a murder on her conscience.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 8, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

      Carl: “HEY HEY! So, who’s your dead friend there?”

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 8, 2016 at 1:57 am | #

        Hey! Hey, Amazi-Girl! I’m haunting you!

  36. Tenzhi
    Tenzhi
    September 8, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

    Also: Saying your name as a logo is an awesome superpower.

  37. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    September 8, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: One of the more terrifying things about Ryan the predator is how smooth he is at playing the “nice guy”. Not for long, he’s too much of a predatory asshole to hold the act for long, especially when he’s not getting his way, but long enough to make it seem like anyone who tried to confront him is just being mean.

    And I dunno if it’s just Ryan’s history, but I can’t help interpreting his insistence to that girl in the glasses for her to hold her sign high is to set her up for later. Make it so she’s showing more of her boobs to him when he sidles up to her and make it so her hands aren’t in a good place to fend off an attempted grope.

    Also, good going Joyce on that nasty looking scar of his.

    Panel 2: AG in fighter stance, body squared, ready to move in or block, but also relaxed.

    Panel 3: Ryan doesn’t for a second believe that AG is here for him. Well, part of him might. There’s that shocked face in Panel 2 and his awkward turning away when she was staring at him before.

    But, even if part of him does, he still views himself as completely safe. He’s trusted his “charm” and his race and gender to protect him this far and sees no reason to doubt that now. He plays it friendly. Like many abusers, he’s good at being friendly to authority figures…

    Fuck, he reminds me so much of one of my ex’s rapists, who was a slick piece of shit who was excellent at being friendly to everyone except the girls he was targeting, so that he could gaslight them later and make the girls he victimized out to be the “crazy ones” who targeted him.

    Panels 4-5: State, confront, move into personal space, putting him in defensive mode. I’m not sure what her plan is and I think she’ll end up with a pissed off crowd to fend off if she just ups and slugs him. But that part of me that’s been victimized does feel a little bit of satisfaction to see him made to feel uncomfortable and scared here and to understand what it means to be hunted*.

    *And no, I definitely do not mean in a sexual assault way, because no one ever deserves to be sexually assaulted, not even rapists.

    Overall, I’m curious to see where this goes, but these are definitely a bit more triggering than normal, so it’s a little slower reading and probably more scattered in analysis. So sorry about that.

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

      To Panel 1: I would suspect that he, in his own twisted perceptions, really believes that he is a good guy. I don’t know in what particular manner he’d justify his roofieing in his own mind (probably something on the spectrum of “women are all teases” to “women are sinful creatures”, I would guess, with perhaps some of that good ol’ sociopathic egocentrism thrown in), but he strikes me as that sort.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 8, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

        I’m sure you’re right. That’s been my experience with listening to rapist accounts from their perspectives (worst was overhearing a rapist complain to a friend about how they were given a whole week’s suspension from an organization they belonged to because of a “minor incident that wasn’t even all that bad” which was actually a sexual assault of an unconscious freshman. Just full of self-pitying martyrdom and complete lack of self-awareness).

    • Tan
      Tan
      September 8, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      Panel 5 says to me that Amazi-Girl is not planning on hitting him, at least not now. Not unless HE turns it into a confrontation. No, if he doesn’t turn it into a confrontation, she’s just going to get all the information she needs to track him. His name. His dorm. His class schedule. His friends. His extracurriculars. And after all, she’s a superhero, why WOULDN’T he want to cooperate with anything she wants to know? He doesn’t have something to HIDE, does he? Of cooouuuurse he doesn’t.

      At that point she can redirect her stalking energies to him, whether to catch him in the act of the next attempt, or to simply sabotage every aspect of his safe little bubble that makes him believe he can get away with that. Or both. Both is good.

      And THEN beat the shit out of him.

      Of course, he could belay the whole thing by snapping on her, as she’s a woman not knowing her place, thereby showing his true colors and she can just beat the shit out of him now.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 8, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

        Yeah, and it would be keeping with her general strategy and ethos of “never striking first” to provoke him into throwing the first punch instead of just walking over and beating him up.

    • ety
      ety
      September 8, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      I greatly enjoy and appreciate your analysis and don’t particularly notice any “scattering.”

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 8, 2016 at 2:13 am | #

      You know, at first I thought that Dawson was the girl Ryan was talking to in the first panel, but then realized it was one of the DudeBros. Is it alright to state that I’m glad she’s untagged, because it lowers the chance of her being a victim, at least a shown one, of Ryan?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 2:19 am | #

      I’m with you on most everything else, Cerb, but I’m going to disagree with you on Panel 1. I think you’re underestimating just how patient he is. He kept up the act with Joyce at the party for… what, an hour?… when he thought the whole thing would be wrapped up in a few minutes. He’s got a very thorough act. He makes plans, presents them well, and keeps to them for a long time.

      Uh…. CONTENT WARNING? This is a hypothetical rape scenario, so maybe that should get a content warning? I don’t know how realistic this is, but… Yeah, sure, CONTENT WARNING.

      At a guess, I’m thinking that if he’s doing anything here, he’s surveying the place for marks to exploit hours down the road. Maybe getting to know them a bit and vice-versa. I’m imagining that once the rally’s over he’ll invite a few to an after party he knows about… propinquity will make them a bit more trusting of him, especially since he’s such a “nice guy”… whichever of his prospects he chooses as his mark will have, um, a few to many, and Ryan will do the gentlemanly thing and leave the party he’s having so much fun at in order to drive her home. At present, I’m imagining he has about 20 potential marks, which he’ll whittle down to 3 or so based on opportunity and their reactions to him and how much their personality fits his preferred victim type before making his final selection. Elapsed time from now until, erm, payoff: 2-4 hours, depending on the length of the rally.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 8, 2016 at 2:23 am | #

        So, long game then?

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 8, 2016 at 2:31 am | #

          More like medium game. Long game would be weeks or months.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 8, 2016 at 2:33 am | #

            Eesh, that sounds like work.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              September 8, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

              ((Still content warning? I think?))

              Maybe it’s like a twisted art form? I dunno.

              The really long game involves marrying the victim. That one’s not pretty.

              ALL THE RAPE-AND-ABUSE-RELATED CONTENT WARNINGS EVER.

              • ety
                ety
                September 8, 2016 at 3:01 am | #

                Sort of along the lines of King Henry VIII (I think I’m thinking of the right one).

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 3:07 am | #

                  I think I’m totally wrong

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 7:51 pm | #

                  I honestly have no idea what I was thinking of.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 8, 2016 at 7:19 am | #

        That… that makes a lot of sense. And I think you may be right.

        I may have been reading a bit too much of my own rapist into him as he didn’t wait until we were out of public to rape me and counted on people not expecting someone to violate the social contract like that to get away with it.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 8, 2016 at 7:47 am | #

          I guess that’s just as possible. I think we just have different speculations. I’d say we won’t know until we see how it plays out, but then, Amazi-Girl’s not letting that happen.

    • Dandi_Andi
      Dandi_Andi
      September 8, 2016 at 2:35 am | #

      Cerberus, I’m glad you chose to join in the conversation tonight. I always value your input. I’m even more glad that you’re taking it easy and not engaging more than you feel comfortable with.

      So to borrow your own line, *Appropriate gesture of support*

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      September 8, 2016 at 3:15 am | #

      Honestly I interpret Ryan in panel 1, based off where he is and the fact he has a stack of those signs, as someone who is working there as part of Robin’s local campaign crew. That could be a much bigger problem for everyone if so.

      On panel 5, I could see AG essentially just getting enough info on him for effective doxxing of him anonymously online. It’s a strategy I’m vehemently opposed to being employed on anyone for any reason for myriad reasons, but it’s probably the safest one for herself she could choose, legally speaking, which is likely to produce enough results to neuter his game if done correctly.

    • Andy
      Andy
      September 8, 2016 at 7:37 am | #

      The advice in Panel 1 – hold the sign high – sounds exactly what I was told to tell people when I volunteered at political rallies, on the basis that if people are holding signs at chest level can’t be seen in a crowd, especially from a camera at the back of the rally that’s shooting for the stage. The campaign staff wants as many signs as possible in the inevitable press shots, which are most likely to be when the candidate’s taking the stage.

      I totally get how you could arrive at the theory you did, though.

  38. Raen
    Raen
    September 8, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

    “Do you know how you got these scars?”

    • Chief_of_Staves
      Chief_of_Staves
      September 8, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      “No? You’ll be finding out soon enough.”

  39. ety
    ety
    September 8, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

    How is “amazi-girl” pronounced anyway? I’ve sometimes been saying ah-mah-zee in my head, but it sounds weird all strung together with “girl.” I could see ah-mah-zih or ah-may-zee?

    • ety
      ety
      September 8, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      Or “A”-may-zee

    • miados
      miados
      September 8, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

      huh never thought about it logically. i go ah mayz a girl but im likely wrong

      • ety
        ety
        September 8, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

        I’ve got it! She’s A maize girl.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          September 8, 2016 at 2:20 am | #

          Well it IS Indiana…

          • ety
            ety
            September 8, 2016 at 3:25 am | #

            I wish I’d strung the whole thing together for the express purpose of conveying that pun…. but unfortunately, I didn’t. That said, I’m glad the pun didn’t go wasted.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      September 8, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

      I go with “Ah-may-zih” (Assuming that’s pronounced how I think it’s pronounced).

      • Nicolumbia
        Nicolumbia
        September 8, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

        Yeah, same – phonetic spelling is very subjective but that’s probably how I would’ve spelled it too! I figured it came from “amazing” so I try to pronounce it like that but without the “ng,” if that makes sense.

        • ety
          ety
          September 8, 2016 at 1:12 am | #

          “phonetic spelling is very subjective” I figured it had a better shot in casual commenting than attempting to use the IPA would.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      September 8, 2016 at 1:27 am | #

      Definitely uh-MAZE-uh-gurl for me. Maybe that second uh has a bit of an “i as in bit” sound to it, so uh-MAZE-ih-gurl.

      And, since you asked, the IPA would be /əˈmeɪz ɪ̈ gɝl/

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 8, 2016 at 2:01 am | #

        That’s the track I’ve taken.

        • ety
          ety
          September 8, 2016 at 11:16 am | #

          I think I’m on board with that one.

    • Lipke the Articulate
      Lipke the Articulate
      September 8, 2016 at 2:56 am | #

      A-may-zee/Uh-maze-E/etc for me. My personal phonetic spelling for it would be “Uh-maze-E”, probably.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      September 8, 2016 at 3:20 pm | #

      I’ve been pronouncing it as A-mah-zee Girl. Some Westcountry vowels creeping in.

  40. philip p petrunak
    philip p petrunak
    September 8, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

    I’m just a guy. A guy with a worm on his face. His name is Herbert. He talks to me some times. Just kidding, his name’s Bob.

    • Ragnarok101
      Ragnarok101
      September 8, 2016 at 7:20 am | #

      Then he grew large enough to root me into the ground, and I had to get a 19-year-old from an underground vault to kill me when I got bored.

      • ety
        ety
        September 8, 2016 at 2:21 pm | #

        ahahahaha, I remember that.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      September 8, 2016 at 3:14 pm | #

      Not a worm, just a sandtrout.

  41. Anywhere
    Anywhere
    September 8, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

    hey, you’ve got some spaghetti on your face

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      here, let me get it off with MY FISTS

  42. buddy
    buddy
    September 8, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

    marry me amazi-girl

    • miados
      miados
      September 8, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      im not sure she is emotionally stable enough to marry anyone right now.

      • WhoWasI
        WhoWasI
        September 8, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

        She’s not emotionally stable enough to be out unattended, but that includes a lot of people.

        • miados
          miados
          September 8, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

          i know i feel that way alot. it has caused me to become better at faking emotions and such.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        September 8, 2016 at 3:16 pm | #

        Yet another Paranoia Agent flashback.

        (It has a scene where a psychiatrist points out that you really ought to tell your intended about your DID.)

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 8, 2016 at 3:23 pm | #

        Also she is 18 so she’s a little young for that.

        But noooooooooooooooope to the idea of Amber being so broken that she’s not allowed to have a relationship. Nope-a-nope. Noping intensifies.

        • JQuire
          JQuire
          September 8, 2016 at 4:30 pm | #

          Yeah, I know people who’ve gotten married younger than that (and had it work, surprise!).

          But maidos didn’t say Amber is too broken to have a relationship. Just that she’s not in a sufficient place of stability to undertake that level of commitment. Which she isn’t. She needs to work through the Sal stuff a little bit so that she can make rational and not ‘fuck you you were standing too close to *her*’ based choices before she says yes to the frilly wedding cape.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            September 8, 2016 at 4:35 pm | #

            Sal isn’t just some asshole. She is, wrongly, the fixture point of Amber’s trauma, and Danny was waiting for Amber with her at their usual hangout and then told her she needed to stop being Amazi-Girl because Sal said so.

            Amber needs therapy. She doesn’t need to be barred from something everybody wants. She can do both. Both is good. Lots of people can do both.

            • JQuire
              JQuire
              September 8, 2016 at 4:47 pm | #

              I am not saying that she should be barred from the institution of marriage. I’m saying she is not in a good place right now and it would be better for her to work through it. For better or worse it’s seriously impacted the only romantic relationship she has been in and gettin’ married while in her current headspace, at this exact point in the comic, ain’t a great idea.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                September 8, 2016 at 4:53 pm | #

                I mean whether it’s marriage or dating is kinda not my point since, y’know, 18.

                Anyway, Amber is a victim of her mental health, not the perpetrator. She is allowed to work through things and also have a partner. The reason she pushed this specific partner away is for the same reason Joyce would probably get super fucking pissed off at Walky if he tried setting her up with this nice Christian boy he just met with a rad face scar.

                Or does Ruth just totally need to drop Billie like a bad habit? Obviously nothing could make her feel less suicidally depressed than losing one of maybe two people who gives a shit about her.

                • JQuire
                  JQuire
                  September 8, 2016 at 5:07 pm | #

                  I’m not saying she’s not allowed to be in a relationship. I’m not saying that she’s not allowed to be married. I’m saying that this exact moment isn’t a good time to make the decision to get married. Which is where this all started off.

                  Why are you taking “no huge relationship decisions right now” to mean “you’re never allowed a relationship”?

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  September 8, 2016 at 5:18 pm | #

                  JQuire, I’m gonna level with you. I am basically just talking past you at this point because I’ve beaten myself so much with “I’m too shitty and broken to be with someone” that I’m kind of just reflexively treating you like that part in my brain that never shuts up about it. And, specifically, constantly getting hit by that exact argument in this comments section, that Amber being mentally ill and coming from a broken home definitely means she’s a piece of shit and everyone’s lives would be improved if she just fucked off, well it hits close to home I guess.

                  So IDK I’m just gonna fuck off before I act like any more of an asshole.

                • JQuire
                  JQuire
                  September 8, 2016 at 8:31 pm | #

                  Hey, Spencer. I’m sorry. From other comments you seem like an chill person but with a blindspot on this issue where you read that meaning into a number of comments …which is part of why I wanted to point out the distinction. Like maybe if the difference was clear that would be one less place where that other, shitty notion was being reinforced? You really don’t deserve to live in that echo chamber.
                  But, I’m the asshole here for pushing it, knowing it’s a sore spot. I’m sorry.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  September 8, 2016 at 8:42 pm | #

                  Oh, god no. Please don’t feel that way. I can’t even count the amount of times I have said far, far worse, like actual terrible, stuff here.

                  Don’t sweat it, seriously. It’s just a me-thing. I’m fine. You definitely are not an asshole for responding the correct way to me misreading the actual topic.

                • JQuire
                  JQuire
                  September 8, 2016 at 8:45 pm | #

                  Tell you what, I’ll be gentler with myself if you are. 😉

                • JQuire
                  JQuire
                  September 8, 2016 at 8:46 pm | #

                  By which I mean gentler with yourself. I’m having problems with clarity this evening. It’s been a long day.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      September 8, 2016 at 10:13 am | #

      You might have to time-share with Amber.

  43. Plume
    Plume
    September 8, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

    Oooohhhhh did he do a genocide run? …cause he’s gonna have a bad time

    • butts
      butts
      September 8, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

      …Undertale reference?

      • Plume
        Plume
        September 8, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

        yes I just started playing it a few days ago. Unfortunately I’m the only person I know who has, meaning I have to vent references on the internet as much as possible lolz 😀

        • miados
          miados
          September 8, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

          i remember my first run i killed everyone. my only hard fight was metaton since i couldnt figure out what i was suppose to do. only person to kill me

          • Plume
            Plume
            September 8, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

            I had a real problem with Undyne the Undying, my reactions were just too slow to react off hand to the later arrow combinations and I would panic and take a crazy amount of damage. Eventually I had to watch a video of the fight and write the patterns down to keep myself from panicking on those attacks Fortunately upon closer examination most of them had a pretty basic pattern. 😀

            • Lipke the Articulate
              Lipke the Articulate
              September 8, 2016 at 3:03 am | #

              The fandom ruined it for me before I ever played it, which is
              A. weird because fandoms almost never manage to make me avoid something.
              and
              B. sad because I absolutely love the concept from what I’ve heard.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                September 8, 2016 at 7:00 am | #

                It was the best game of 2015 along with Bloodborne.

                Go in as spoiler-free as possible.

              • Mr.Morningstar
                Mr.Morningstar
                September 8, 2016 at 11:57 am | #

                Man just ignore the obnoxious parts of the fandom tbh. If I let a fandom bug me i’d never enjoy anything. The most I interact with fandoms is browsing fanart.

                But you shouls play it, its pretty awesome.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  September 8, 2016 at 12:08 pm | #

                  The fanbase is pretty obnoxious, though.

                  It’s not as bad as The Last Of Us’ but, jeez. You’d think Undertale is the only game in the universe to ever try having a point before.

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 2:35 pm | #

                  Ah, Bloodborne. If only Fromsoft hadn’t betrayed my Dark Souls-based anti-exclusivity hope. My best friend bought the game for PS4 just so he could play it on his cousin’s, ‘cuz we both have the XBOne.

                  As for Undertale, I already know a bunch of what happens because of the fandom. I’ll probably get over them eventually and play it, but whatever.
                  I mean, I got over Homestuck’s fandom and read it. Undertale’s should be easy.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  September 8, 2016 at 3:07 pm | #

                  I’ve never been a fan of the idea of buying a console for one game but then I realized I’ve bought a PS3 and a PS4 largely in anticipation for Persona 5, so yeah.

                  If you were to buy a console just for one game, Bloodborne would be a pretty good choice though, lemme tell ya. Game of the generation so far.

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 4:55 pm | #

                  It’s the only game I could think of that I’d buy a console specifically for. I’m a massive Souls fan and Bloodborne just looks freakin’ amazing.

                • ety
                  ety
                  September 8, 2016 at 5:50 pm | #

                  I just got into Dark Souls I and just picked up Dark Souls II. I just made it into the Blighttown area? The poisonous swamp place or whatever…. I took a break because damn that shit keeps killing me.

                • Lipke the Articulate
                  Lipke the Articulate
                  September 8, 2016 at 6:51 pm | #

                  Blighttown is near-unanimously considered the hardest part of the game for new players, although some would argue that it’s second to a boss from a different area.
                  Protip: You can get purple moss clumps, which cure poison, from treelike enemies in a certain area. You can also purchase them from a merchant in a sewer pipe leading back to Firelink Shrine.

                  Dark Souls II is a good game but myself and many of my friends think it isn’t as good as the first game.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

      Nicely done. 🙂

  44. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 8, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

    “You and me are going to be VERY close friends”

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      September 8, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

      “Particularly my foot to your butt. Or face. Or your buttface.”

      • WhoWasI
        WhoWasI
        September 8, 2016 at 1:40 am | #

        Say hello to your new BEST friend boot?

  45. Heavensrun
    Heavensrun
    September 8, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

    I vote that Ryan’s supervillian name be Scar-borough Fair.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 8, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

      Slow clap.

    • Nicolumbia
      Nicolumbia
      September 8, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

      I second this motion, and posit that it may be shortened to ‘borough fair, so that “Are you going to scar ‘borough fair?” becomes a question to which the answer is “Joyce already did.”

    • Chief_of_Staves
      Chief_of_Staves
      September 8, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

      Are you dueling with Scarborough Fair? Punches, rage, roofies and crime…
      Did you know my target was there? She was once a victim of mine…

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      September 8, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

      While the suggestion is a very good one, perhaps we’ve been going the wrong way about this all along…

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        September 8, 2016 at 11:47 am | #

        This isn’t lauding some asshole who shot up a place, tho, this is giving a fictional villian a cool name so we can enjoy hating him more.

        Surely we wouldn’t also want all our comic villians to -also- just be “some assholes”.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 8, 2016 at 2:05 am | #

      Hometown of Pawtucket, RI?

      • Lipke the Articulate
        Lipke the Articulate
        September 8, 2016 at 2:44 am | #

        I see mention of my original (and hopefully soon to be current once again) home state, what up?
        Is there some sort of fair by that name in Pawtucket?

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          September 8, 2016 at 11:48 am | #

          You kids and your not knowing anything about folk music.

          • Lipke the Articulate
            Lipke the Articulate
            September 8, 2016 at 2:38 pm | #

            To be fair I’m the uncultured-ist uncultured swine you’ll ever meet.
            I have yet to see Back to the Future, Ghostbusters (any of them), Lord of the Rings (but I did see the Hobbit!), or the original trilogy of Star Wars. I only saw Forrest Gump earlier this year. Seriously, one would think I was born post-2000.
            As for music…

            • ety
              ety
              September 8, 2016 at 5:52 pm | #

              You aren’t alone, I just got around to seeing The Matrix and Terminator for the first time recently (there are plenty of other big iconic movies I haven’t seen).

              • Lipke the Articulate
                Lipke the Articulate
                September 8, 2016 at 6:53 pm | #

                I have seen some of the Terminator movies but it was so long ago that I don’t really count them as being seen. Still haven’t seen the Matrix.

            • trlkly
              trlkly
              September 9, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

              So you’ve been secretly Tamera Chambers this whole time? (She has a series about all the movies she’s never watched, and she just started the Back to the Future series.)

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            September 9, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

            I just decided to take a different track, didn’t feel like I could contribute to the music one.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 9, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

          Business.

    • Anorak
      Anorak
      September 8, 2016 at 5:39 am | #

      Rapists already try to ruin good things. Why would you give him the power to ruin one of my favorite fairs?

    • Lailah
      Lailah
      September 8, 2016 at 7:21 am | #

      Nice

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 8, 2016 at 12:09 pm | #

      As a Canadian, this is completely fitting.

  46. Jaybz
    Jaybz
    September 8, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

    I’m a bit worried about how likely that Ryan will get justice. Especially with that flashback at the beginning where Leland gets off scott free and stuff. And what happens in real life.

    I mean I hope he gets justice but….

    • Sam
      Sam
      September 8, 2016 at 7:32 am | #

      Ha, this confused me. I was thinking why does Ryan deserve justice? He was the perpetrator.

      • Jaybz
        Jaybz
        September 8, 2016 at 4:37 pm | #

        I meant “get justice doled out to him” My bad.

  47. bryy
    bryy
    September 8, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

    Oh good, there’s still time for this to go south.

  48. spriteless
    spriteless
    September 8, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

    I wonder if this will end in nothing or a lynch mob.

    • CianM1301
      CianM1301
      September 8, 2016 at 6:01 am | #

      It’ll probably end up in a fight just as Robin comes out, which will probably tarnish her reputation if Amazi-Girl makes it known that he’s a rapist since Ryan is wearing a DeSanto t-shirt.

      • Carolyn
        Carolyn
        September 8, 2016 at 11:42 am | #

        It will be even worse for Robin if he really is a campaign worker as some have speculated. If the truth about Ryan comes out, Robin is going to have to do even more damage control than she did with Roz’s sex tape.

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          September 8, 2016 at 4:19 pm | #

          That seems to be the same shirt as those interns who were there when Robin got out of the helicopter

  49. Idontcarenomore
    Idontcarenomore
    September 8, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

    Ryan will get his, one way or the other. But, I don’t think he is going to like it.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      September 8, 2016 at 4:05 am | #

      Whether he likes it or not won’t matter.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        September 8, 2016 at 9:35 am | #

        Many would disagree. I, for one, would prefer it if he didn’t.

  50. WhoWasI
    WhoWasI
    September 8, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

    Optimist possibility: She ID’s him, thanks him politely, and gives the information to investigative reporter Dorothy who will turn up a trail of evidence and others he’s abused that so large he can’t weasel out of it.

    More satisfying possibility: She want his name to give to Dorothy for his obituary. (Satisfying but wrong)

  51. Megatron
    Megatron
    September 8, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

    Generally speaking, you don’t need to know the names or identities of the people you crush under you heel. They’re insects, you’re a fly swatter. If people are watching, they need to know you don’t care how important they think they are.

    These days it seems everyone thinks they’re important.

    But, I’ll concede, it’s a decent intimidation tactic. If no one is around, I can see playing with your victims.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 8, 2016 at 2:26 am | #

      It also helps to learn where they sleep at night, and learning their name is one step in a process to learning where they sleep at night.

      …. not because you can’t crush them under your heel right the hell now, but because you can make them FEAR you more if they wake up from a dead sleep straight into a heel-crushing.

      • Gamaran Sepudomyn
        Gamaran Sepudomyn
        September 8, 2016 at 6:12 am | #

        And, of course, “I know where you live.” is a classic threat.

    • CianM1301
      CianM1301
      September 8, 2016 at 5:56 am | #

      What’s the point of crushing someone under your heel if they aren’t aware of who did the heel-crushing?

    • Cybersnark
      Cybersnark
      September 8, 2016 at 12:20 pm | #

      http://media.tumblr.com/9d2e052b39876d1a63cbf940428f6035/tumblr_inline_mv0vmpzARY1qdy69j.gif

  52. Jason
    Jason
    September 8, 2016 at 1:52 am | #

    His nose is smaller than I remember. I always think of him as a guy with a big fucking nose.

    • figureaddict
      figureaddict
      September 8, 2016 at 9:28 am | #

      Well, he was last drawn 5 years ago……

  53. Kraken
    Kraken
    September 8, 2016 at 2:08 am | #

    I don’t get it. Is Ryan wary of Amazi-Girl or not? I thought when he walked away he was suspicious, and he reacted as if he was worried, but then went into a smile?

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      September 8, 2016 at 2:20 am | #

      I don’t think he is, because I don’t think he even knows Amazi-Girl was there.  Remember, on the night of the attempted rape he got glassed by Joyce and then batted a couple of times by Sarah.  When Amazi-Girl came onto the scene she was mobbed by ‘fans’, and by the time she turned her attention to Ryan he had split the scene.

      I figure that while Sarah, Joyce, et al were distracted by the appearance of Amazi-Girl Ryan realized that this “was the break I was looking for”.  He didn’t waste time to see who showed up or what was going on but took off while the going was good.

  54. Orion Fury
    Orion Fury
    September 8, 2016 at 2:15 am | #

    While it’s a bit off topic, I just saw it, and I’m a bit curious. Would it start a riot here if I stated I liked/loved the new Ghostbusters film?

    • AriBerri
      AriBerri
      September 8, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

      NO because it is simply WONDERFUL. :3 I freaking loved it.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 8, 2016 at 2:25 am | #

        I smiled and giggled so many times. Great moments of nostalgia, plenty of fresh content and interactions. Only person in the theater who stayed for the stinger as well.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      September 8, 2016 at 5:52 am | #

      I also loved it, and Willis was supportive of it, so I doubt he’d allow a riot if he didn’t think it was constructive. (Or he just wanted to go off on somebody who was still being an asshole about it.)

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      September 8, 2016 at 6:16 am | #

      I think the consensus among nonmisogynist people is “it’s awesome”, so you should be OK here.

      Underwhelming ghost designs until the end, though.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        September 9, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

        Build-up/saving the sfx budget?

  55. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 8, 2016 at 2:19 am | #

    The big shocks that Amazi-Girl is going to get out of this conversation are that, firstly, Ryan is probably quite a nice guy when you get to know him and, secondly, he genuinely doesn’t understand what he did was wrong. “That’s how you’re meant to treat girls, isn’t it? To loosen them up?”

    IRL a lot of sexual offences seem to have their origin in a totally twisted sense of ‘what women like’, what is appropriate and what ‘consent’ means that seems to come from the most toxic external influences.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      September 8, 2016 at 2:32 am | #

      If it’s ‘misinformation’ on his part, then rehabilitation may work. Most people here don’t, from what I’ve seen. While it’s not uncommon for me to say “It’s easy to judge, to hate” I haven’t been affected by this particular brand of trauma, to which I think at least 5% of the commenters here have been. So I do not fault them for it, I offer sympathy as best I can, and try to avoid saying something offensive, because sometimes it’s sounds good to me, but it’s not for others.

      • JBento
        JBento
        September 8, 2016 at 5:05 am | #

        It’s particularly easy to judge and hate when you’re talking about a roofie’ing rapist, what the fuck, man?

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          September 9, 2016 at 1:22 am | #

          And apparently I failed.

    • JBento
      JBento
      September 8, 2016 at 5:04 am | #

      Er… what? Rapists are never nice guys, though some are adept at pretending they are – if they were, they wouldn’t, y’know, rape. In Ryan’s case specifically, he ROOFIE’D Joyce. As in, he actually put in her drink drugs with the specific intent of knocking her out so he could rape her. That is antithetical to being a nice guy. Like, the actual opposite end of the spectrum.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        September 8, 2016 at 5:21 am | #

        However, they can affect charm, charisma and even kindness. So, yeah; talk to them and they seem nice people. If you don’t know about their ‘hobby’, you’d probably never guess that about them. That’s what makes them dangerous; that’s what makes them difficult to prosecute; that’s what enables them to have crowds of defenders who refuse to believe that they care capable of doing it.

        • JBento
          JBento
          September 8, 2016 at 5:31 am | #

          You’ll notice that’s pretty much how I started the comment. Thanks for teaching me another meaning of “affect.” ^_^

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        September 8, 2016 at 8:35 am | #

        Yeah, it’s possible for me to twist my mind around into a position where I can see how some rapists might just have a “twisted sense of ‘what women like’, what is appropriate and what ‘consent’ means” – but this guy started by trying to isolate his mark and drug her. There’s no “I didn’t realize she was that drunk” or “I thought those were only token protests” or any of the other bullshit. No “loosening her up”.
        Straight to the drugging.

    • Sudden Clarity Clarence
      Sudden Clarity Clarence
      September 8, 2016 at 3:23 pm | #

      That’s how you’re meant to treat criminals, isn’t it? — Amazi-Girl

  56. Orion Fury
    Orion Fury
    September 8, 2016 at 2:34 am | #

    Who?

  57. Torra
    Torra
    September 8, 2016 at 2:51 am | #

    Ah damn. This isn’t going to play well for Amazi-Girl, i think. He seems pretty unshaken by her being there and it’s going to be all too easy for him to say “I don’t know what you’re talking about, maybe you have the wrong guy?”

    He looks like a slimy kind of guy and I reckon he’ll end up provoking Amazi-Girl who, to everyone else, will look like shes attacking some “harmless, unassuming white dude”

  58. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    September 8, 2016 at 2:52 am | #

    I love the Amazi-font. Very comicky.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      September 8, 2016 at 2:53 am | #

      Not comicky, I mean superheroic. Yes, better modifier.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        September 8, 2016 at 3:03 am | #

        No, I think that you got it right first time. 😉

        • JessWitt
          JessWitt
          September 8, 2016 at 4:04 am | #

          Aw shucks, thanks, stranger.

  59. Melvin Schlock
    Melvin Schlock
    September 8, 2016 at 2:56 am | #

    I’m Amazi-Girl®

  60. foducool
    foducool
    September 8, 2016 at 2:56 am | #

    lol just realized he’s her joker
    “you wanna know how I got this scar?”

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      September 8, 2016 at 3:04 am | #

      And then Sarah appears with her baseball bat “YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE YOU ASS!?”

      • CianM1301
        CianM1301
        September 8, 2016 at 5:25 am | #

        Actually it was Joyce who gave him that scar. Sarah just beat the shit out of him. Rightfully so, too.

  61. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 8, 2016 at 3:15 am | #

    I’m wondering now if Amazi-Girl is planning to do a non-violent early-1990s Batman-style ‘run-out-of-town’ take-down.

    “Ryan, I know who you are and what you do. I know how you treat women and I can prove it. I have a nice fat, juicy file that will see you spend the next twenty years of your life in a 6×9 cell and it will end up with the BPD if I ever see your face ever again.”

    “Get out of my town“

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 8, 2016 at 3:17 am | #

      Dah! Bad tags! Oh well…

      Oh, I meant to add “I will make it my personal business to see to it that the rest of your life is a living hell” at some point.

  62. Lipke the Articulate
    Lipke the Articulate
    September 8, 2016 at 3:21 am | #

    I posted a long thing but it didn’t show up.
    Do long things have to be approved by Willis/are they unable to be posted?
    Or did I somehow fail to hit the post button?

    • ety
      ety
      September 8, 2016 at 3:31 am | #

      Normally things that have to be approved seem to have “waiting for moderation” or whatever the variation of that phrase is and still show up for you.

      • Lipke the Articulate
        Lipke the Articulate
        September 8, 2016 at 3:34 am | #

        Hm. Well, guess I’ll just post it on tomorrow’s strip if it doesn’t show up on this one.

  63. Keulan
    Keulan
    September 8, 2016 at 3:22 am | #

    “I’m Amazi-Girl, and I can breathe in space.”

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      September 8, 2016 at 4:31 am | #

      “I’m Amazi-Girl, and I *CAN* simply walk into Mordor.”

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        September 8, 2016 at 4:48 am | #

        “… and make the Dark Lord cry like a baby!”

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          September 8, 2016 at 6:49 am | #

          “I don’t need any Ring to rule them all!”

          • Lipke the Articulate
            Lipke the Articulate
            September 8, 2016 at 2:41 pm | #

            “I’m Amazi-Girl, and I can divide by zero.”

            • AeroQC
              AeroQC
              September 8, 2016 at 7:02 pm | #

              “I’m Amazi-Girl, and I can escape a black hole.”

              • Slartibeast Button, BIA
                Slartibeast Button, BIA
                September 8, 2016 at 7:22 pm | #

                From what I recall of Hawking radiation, she can only do that by throwing Amber down into it. Morally questionable.

  64. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 8, 2016 at 4:36 am | #

    “You see, I know what you are, Ryan. You’re a filthy predator that uses whatever means he wants to get the satisfaction he wants from naive, good girls. You hide your true nature under the shadow of your father’s position and you use it as a lure.

    “You see, you’re not dealing with the College administration; you’re not dealing with the cops; you’re not even dealing with an angry family member. You’re dealing with me. It’s amazing how persistent things can be, Ryan. If someone knows their way around websites, things from your past just keep coming back . On blogs, news sites, recruitment sites and even the email inboxes of college administrators and HR directors.

    “If I ever see your face again, Ryan… If I even hear of you being around… Then I will dedicate the rest of my life to making the rest of your life… a living hell.

    “Now… Get out of my town!“

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      September 8, 2016 at 11:45 am | #

      Given that Amber’s in computer science, the bit about Amazigirl knowing her way around websites really, really works.

  65. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    September 8, 2016 at 5:36 am | #

    Is this going to end up back firing and ending up so his image is everywhere and Joyce can’t avoid it?

  66. Corwin
    Corwin
    September 8, 2016 at 6:55 am | #

    Oohhhhhhhh. I see it now.

    I wonder if the crowd will be as thrilled with her beating up a goodlooking friendly white boy as they were with the sufficiently-black thug girl. Something tells me not so much.

    “Leland is a good student….”

  67. George Wiman
    George Wiman
    September 8, 2016 at 7:53 am | #

    I like that idea of ID-ing him and turning it over to Dorothy for a full expose’.

    Yesterday’s and today’s threads would be instructive reading for anyone who is against content warnings and thinks they’re unnecessary or somehow wrong.

  68. Calvsie
    Calvsie
    September 8, 2016 at 8:13 am | #

    At first I thought he had put the scar on the wrong cheek. Went back and looked and discovered. No it is correct, in Joyce’s nightmare the scar is incorrect.
    Weird.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      September 8, 2016 at 3:04 pm | #

      I believe the scar was wrong because it was a dream. In dreams, we sometimes mess up little details like that. In a way, it’s how we know it’s just a dream. I’d say it was affected by Joyce’s drugged memory but the Ryans she sees outside look to have the scar on the correct side, so it’s definitely just a dream thing.

  69. adam Black
    adam Black
    September 8, 2016 at 8:23 am | #

    Willis, I meant to say this about 5 days ago, and I have thought every day of this Arc —DAMN! The writing on this arc is excellent. You’ve been writing with a lot of frames, and each one is packed with multiple reactions, shifts implications, carrying plotthreads forward.
    Just some unqualified praise.

    This scene probably has 3-4 years of planning ? Its like you are weaving “The Pattern from Wheel of Time

  70. Me
    Me
    September 8, 2016 at 9:19 am | #

    Amazi-girl has self control? I thought she was just going to attack.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      September 8, 2016 at 9:42 am | #

      Amazi-Girl has ALL the self-control. She left none for Amber.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 8, 2016 at 11:15 am | #

        Pretty much. Amber stabs Sal in the hand in a blind rage when she’s detained by police, Amazi-Girl openly challenges her for being underaged drinking and then gracefully allows her the first strike.

        • JBento
          JBento
          September 8, 2016 at 2:48 pm | #

          No, AG openly challenges Sal over something nobody gives a crap about in a poorly-veiled attempt to goad the girls into violence, so she can fight back and hit them while being “in the right.”

          It was basically the equivalent of putting your face an inch from someone’s and then shouting “not touching you, not touching you, what you gonna do, not touching you.”

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            September 8, 2016 at 2:59 pm | #

            I never said she was good at it, mind! Just that she was the one who had it!

          • JQuire
            JQuire
            September 8, 2016 at 4:26 pm | #

            I love this comment, fellow J poster!

  71. leafirebender
    leafirebender
    September 8, 2016 at 10:11 am | #

    I’M STOKED

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      September 8, 2016 at 3:43 pm | #

      HELLO STOKED I’M DAD

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        September 8, 2016 at 5:45 pm | #

        DAD WHO?

  72. Batman
    Batman
    September 8, 2016 at 1:36 pm | #

    WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO!?!?
    WHO ARE YOU!?!?!?
    WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO!?!?
    WHO ARE YOU!?!?
    WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO!?!?
    WHO ARE YOU!?!?
    WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO!?!?

    I woke up in a Soho doorway
    A policeman knew my name
    He said “You can go sleep at home tonight
    If you can get up and walk away”

  73. Guairdean Beatha
    Guairdean Beatha
    September 8, 2016 at 1:37 pm | #

    “The scar? That’s a strange story. I was in a convenience store when I was a kid and some girl tried to rob the place with a knife. Two of us were held hostage for a bit, and then the police showed up. The robber was taken into custody and everything was settling down, but the other hostage grabbed the knife and stabbed the robber in the hand. The knife hit my face when she swung it and I wound up with this scar.”

    Let’s see Amazi-Girl deal with that plot twist.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      September 8, 2016 at 2:57 pm | #

      You are an evil, evil, robot.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 8, 2016 at 3:30 pm | #

      “Well it’s a good thing I know you’re lying because I was there when you got it, but just for that I’m going to kick your ass twice as hard.”

      • Guairdean Beatha
        Guairdean Beatha
        September 8, 2016 at 4:25 pm | #

        How would he know it happened if he wasn’t there?

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          September 8, 2016 at 4:28 pm | #

          I was referring to where Ryan got the scar.

  74. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    September 8, 2016 at 3:26 pm | #

    “I play first base for the St. Louis Wolves.”

  75. JQuire
    JQuire
    September 8, 2016 at 4:38 pm | #

    I’m a little concerned that because of the tag I can now distinguish him from Taylor and Taylor.

    • JQuire
      JQuire
      September 8, 2016 at 4:38 pm | #

      Him being Dawson.

      I need more coffee.

  76. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 8, 2016 at 5:44 pm | #

    There are times when I wonder if perhaps Willis’ Mary Worth commentary makes fun of us.

    He wouldn’t, right?

    https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/773766472539705344

    • Lipke the Articulate
      Lipke the Articulate
      September 8, 2016 at 6:56 pm | #

      David Willis is the only author I can think of that so completely owns his perceived reader-targeting sadism that his twitter thingy is “@damnyouwillis”.

      I can’t fathom him doing such a thing.

  77. strictly speaking
    strictly speaking
    September 8, 2016 at 5:51 pm | #

    “I was the guy you helped get away when I was in a pinch. Thanks a lot, I appreciate it.”

  78. Jhon
    Jhon
    September 8, 2016 at 11:29 pm | #

    So who the farch is “Dawson”? Tag search. 4 appearances. Crowd scenes. We hates them. The intern-bro who isn’t Taylor or Tyler?

  79. PerilsoRosella
    PerilsoRosella
    September 11, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

    I have trouble looking at Ryan’s eye, and I realized why:

    They remind me of my own rapist’s.

    That same face.

    I feel chills.

Who's that guy over there?

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