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www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Patrick Willems @patrickhwillems.bsky.social ⋅ 1m
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️𝓝𝓪𝓷𝓲 
It’s a bag of thoughts
which totes count
and have escaped
Should’ve put some prayers in with them. It’d weigh the same.
“It was lettuce…which escaped.”
“Why’d you get lettuce? You know Fuckface doesn’t like lettuce!”
“Why? I dunno, just…Cos.”
(ba-dum tsh!)
“And I certainly didn’t augment some of the lettuce with cybernetic limbs and laser beams just to see what would happen.”
Somehow that sounds better with actual lettuce.
Lettuce prey!
With that gravatar, I hope that’s an intentional pun.
Well it didn’t seem fair before, she wanted the lettuce to have a sporting chance
I wonder how Malaya is going to break Marcie’s heart.
Probably by not being into her.
I guess I did leave that open to “liking her but still breaking her heart,” but it sounds like we were already on the same page.
Probably by leading her own, having her way with her and then ignoring her.
which of them are named jiminy?
all of them
you have good ideas
Nono. They were all given completely original names that had nothing to do with Jiminy: Jim-Manny, Jim-Annie, and Jim N. E. Cricketston the Third are all completely distinct names, and we are not in copyright infringment of Disney properties.
Completely. Original. Names.
Like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck.
I really loved that show on the Mimsey afternoon: Salvage Soldiers. Was about these anthropomorphic birds that dress like Columbo and Sam Spade. They had a friendly mechanic named Widget, and a horribly stereotypical redneck rat with them named Bubba Cheddar. Was a really cool show though
…Ruth is going to “accidentally” hear about Fuckface, isn’t she
I’m thinking more along the lines of blackmail.
“No more bullshit, or the lizard gets tossed!”
Malaya’s whole shtick here seems to be needling Sal for not being the cool rebel she claims to be, and threatening to tattle to an authority figure would kind of prove her point. Sal needs to find a solution that goes against the grain.
Maybe she can bring home a pet bobcat or something.
Huh. I’m a dog person, but I would absolutely rather room with a wild bobcat than with Malaya. It’s probably quieter, for one.
also it doesn’t know how to turn lights on.
Instead of bobcat, box contained Malaya. -1 Would not buy again.
That and, I mean, Sal doesn’t really like to involve authority, anyway. She’d be more likely to punch out Malaya than anything like that, and she doesn’t want to do that, either, to not piss Marcie off anymore than she already has.
I get the impression that Sal does not care what Malaya thinks about her. If “giving in” by taking the nark option gets Malaya off her back, Sal might be willing to take it.
But seeing Carla reminds me of another possible lateral move: Sal asks Carla if she can room with her. Or, Sal suggests that Malaya move in with Carla (thus possibly re-establishing the Shortpacked ship).
Carla has a room to herself, but I don’t think there’s any reason that Carla can’t take the initiative to change that if she wants to. Well, except for the fact that she hates people.
I can’t see her doing it to get rid of Malaya, but if it came down to ‘either the iguana goes or we BOTH get busted for it’ I can see it. She’s cool with a lot of rule breaking but like hell is she going down for Malaya’s crap.
Carla is trans. Even though Sal is cool with that, I’m betting it’s admin policy that Carla gets her own room, to avoid potential problems.
To put it more clearly: I know that Carla is trans. My point is that the admin policy is probably more like “don’t assign anyone in with Carla”. If Carla invites a roommate (that she is OK with, and who is in turn OK with her) on her own initiative, why would “admin policy” be a problem?
You’re expecting a level of respect for student’s decisions and a flexibility in policy that I think is unlikely from a public university.
Yep.
You’re expecting a level of giving-a-shit-one-way-or-another that just doesn’t exist in public universities.
Well, perhaps.
But it also occurs to me that Carla Rutten, daughter of the founders of Ruttentech, might have some €xtra-$pecia£ wa¥$ of inducing r€$p€ct from any school administrators who might be problematic.
I don’t know about admin policy, but I assume that Carla has a single room, which would be too small for a roommate* and lack the extra bed and desk.
Digressing, does Carla get her own half-bath, or share one like everyone else?
* Unless they were something much closer than a roommate.
She has her own, as does Ruth. It seems like there are two singles – one for the RA and one mirror of the RA’s room, which is what Carla has.
In theory, though her room is too small for a double, she could move in with Sal, letting Malaya have her room.
Not sure she’d be cool with it though.
Ehhhh, I doubt the administration would be okay with it. My freshman year I tried to move rooms on the same floor to live with someone who didn’t have a roommate and I was told I couldn’t because I’d be taking that spot from someone who might need it in the future (even though… my spot… would then be open) After about a week of back and forth My mom ended up calling and, I assume, raising some hell (I didn’t find out about it for another week, I just thought they caved) and I was allowed to move. This situation would be more complicated than that, especially considering that people suck about gender identity.
tl;dr: more likely they just move without involving administration at all. more hijinx and rebellion that way
At least in my school, there were a few dorm room singles that were largely reserved for Juniors and Seniors still in the dorms. Carla’s at least not a freshman, though I don’t know if we’ve ever heard what her actual class is.
Sooner rather than later if things like this carry on.
I only hope this doesn’t end up blowing up on BOTH of them for keeping him in their room.
So how do we arrange this so that Malaya gets kicked out, but Fuckface stays?
Well the thing about that is, if Ruth hears someone talking about fuckface, she’s just gonna assume it’s Mary and move on.
Laughed out loud!
“Don’t look down if you’re afraid of cri- I mean lettuce. Yeah. Afraid of lettuce.”
They both make a crunchy noise when you step on either, so…
Actually I fear lettuce more than crickets. True story.
Crickets are like less annoying grasshoppers, but I still don’t want any near me, because they’re *gross*.
A cricket got into the house last night. My mom made the cats eat it.
How do you make cats eat something?
Having had to force feed several sick cats over the last year or two, With a syringe, a towel, great difficulty, much indignation and most likely some blood loss.
No idea how to apply this to crickets.
Buy the new cricket juicer, 50% off only 99.99.
And if you order now you get a bag of lettuce completely free!
Limited supply, offer only available to January first.
So order today, order to night.
From Toys R Us.
You tell the cats to not eat it. They’re guaranteed to. (And frankly, I’ve yet to meet a cat — other than my little sister’s completely spooked and squirrelly calico that’s afraid of its own shadow — that had to be persuaded to pounce on a bug.)
So, basically, by grabbing a cat and bringing it where the cricket is.
Makes sense. After all, one variety of lettuce was responsible for sinking a cruise liner.
I want to say “no way, that can’t possibly be true,” but a lot of weird things *are* true, so could I have some context? o-o
“Iceberg”
I actually had to think about that for a few seconds.
…please let them end up in Mary’s room and cause her to awaken to screams and fearing the plagues of God
Mary DREAMS about plagues from God as righteous punishment against the unChristian.
…. obviously the crickets are there for Roz.
What’d Mary think then if she wakes up covered in the little Blighters?
…. if it’s just internal (plus external) incoherent screaming, does that actually count as THOUGHT?
Like Melon in today’s Questionable Content?
I have so many questions on what Melon’s job actually is. I would probably take that job if it was available… screaming for a shift while covered in bugs sounds a lot more appetizing than driving a desk punching numbers into a computer.
Nothing could make me happier.
Mary would just take it as a sign, as in the end line from song “Give a little.whistle”.
Mary being Mary, though, she thinks her conscience is infallible.
Yay Carla, you tried!
I have brought
the lettuce
that was in
the icebox
And which
you were probably
saving
for Fuckface
Forgive me
it has escaped
so wily
and so bold.
I understood that reference.
This always bothered me in school. It wasn’t a poem, it was an apology note. It’s just one step above a grocery list.
Trying to teach poetry in high school to a class of 30 as one unit of an English class is ridiculously, abominably bad. It guarantees that most of them will grow up thinking they don’t “get” poetry, or don’t like it.
Come to think of it, that’s true of a lot of subjects. Here, memorize this list of names and dates. That’s history. Isn’t it boring and pointless?
Now produce a picture using the specified technique. You will be graded on your technique. This is art. If you didn’t get a good grade, or didn’t enjoy the exercise, then you must not be an artist.
Now, in lockstep with 29 other students, learn a very complex, highly conceptual subject that builds on itself. If you get lost or confused at any point, then you will never be good at math.
Oh, and learn to be creative by raising your hand when called upon. Bonus points if you’re brown-skinned – then if you do anything actually self-expressive, you’ll be body-slammed out of your chair by an imported police officer.
American school just sucks. There’s no polite way to put it.
Carla, you fool! Haven’t you ever watched “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”?
Never saw the movie, only the cartoon of it.
The helicopter crash near the end was real, they were getting ready for an overhead shot and they were filming the copter coming in and it hit the tail rotor on the ground and lost yaw control and crashed. And they never got that overhead shot that would have made the movie.
I have the VHS Director’s Cut! Came with a packet of tomato seeds. (they are unopened… for our safety)
Don’t worry, Carla, you’ll be able to hunt them down at 2 AM when all the lights are out and everyone’s trying to sleep.
Now you have an excuse to use the crickets chirping sound effect indoors.
I immediately came to the conclusion that this is the reason, the ONLY reason, for this strip.
BRICK JOKE LAUNCHED!
Lettuce take a moment to remember the brave crickets and their great bid for freedom.
Oh my God you did not. Let the punning commence.
Let’s not beet around the bush here, all of us have bean at the point where weed rather escape than face Malaya
Sorry, I can’t find it in myself to carrot all about a bag full of crickets.
Sal ‘ad better watch where she puts her feet, lest she squash something green and crunchy.
These puns are 24 carrot gold.
You must remember: There is no Pun…
We should romaine firm in our resolve not to let trivial matters bug us.
If you don’t stop this at once I will have to beetle of you.
And here is reason one of several that you don’t have pets in a communal living situation where they’ve been banned.
Huh, now Carla’s shirt is super appropriate now that all those cri- lettuce escaped.
Reading backward from the current strip, I just want to know where Carla managed to get a
DAMN
YOU
WILLIS
shirt.
–Dave, I recall she’s TALL, so obviously that’s just the top word in view
Carla is awesomeness.
I kinda wonder if Malaya would end up into Carla this go round. What she liked about Ultra Car was the whole not-being-human thing. Carla, unlike Ultra Car, I don’t see being as receptive to Malaya even if she does end up into her, though. Hope for Marcie’s sake that she won’t be.
Awwwww. The Malaya/Carla interaction is genuinely nice.
I also like how Sal just zones out when Carla shows up. “Great, someone else has the attention of the brat. A few seconds peace and quiet”
Or possibly she knows this is headed somewhere even worse and has opted for the out of body experience in a vain attempt to escape.
Well of course it’s nice. They’re kinda, sorta friends. At least per Carla, so I’m glad she has a buddy around. I guess we’ll see how much Malaya values Carla here.
I wonder what it will be like without Marcie as a buffer now that three of them live on the same floor, and two, together.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/assignments-2/
Animal hater!
Animal hatter!
Dogs, with hats, through a fish-eye lens.
Free range lettuce. Very in these days.
what kind of iguana is Fuckface? some iguanas do eat mealworms
“Live food such as crickets, mealworms and pinky mice are enjoyed by iguanas but are not necessary and are considered by some to be poor dietary choices. If fed, they should be offered infrequently.”
Just because they can eat it doesn’t mean they should.
but what reptile is this description for? can your add a source?
It’s from the “know your pet” section of the VCA (Veterinary Centers of America) webpage. Considering the pictures shown in said page, Fuckface is part of the subjects covered. Link: https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/iguanas-feeding
I’m in love with Carla.
Stupid iguana is fucking with my stats.
Escaped lettuce? Bunnicula has feasted well this night.
Well….look at it this way. Now whenever Walky makes a bad pun and no one laughs the crickets can provide the appropriate sound effect.
Well of course, CARLA. It was lettuce, CARLA. First opportunity it had, it was obviously going to leaf. CARLA.
Didn’t Carla hate Malaya like all the others? Why’s she being so nice to her now?
No, Carla is the only person besides Marcie that Malaya seems to get along with at all. And Carla seems to like her :3
Interestingly, when Malaya first appeared and subsequently got her ass kicked, Carla didn’t seem sure who to back but quickly checked in on Malaya and made sure she was okay. Marcie, on the other hand, said AG deserved a medal for hitting Malaya.
She can both recognize that Malaya’s an asshole and like her, though. I have several friends where I can easily imagine getting themselves punched and reacting “yeah, they probably had that coming”
Friendship is weird sometimes
Oh, wait. You were agreeing with me, weren’t you? Carry on.
Oh, yeah, Marcie clearly likes her NOW, but I did think that was funny.
Nope. There’s been plenty of scenes where Marcie and Malaya were skating/hanging out/drinking beer where Carla was present, and she never had a problem with Malaya (or vice versa, come to think of it).
I think Carla probably likes Fuckface more than she likes Malaya, but that she is fine with Malaya when she’s not being obnoxious, or is at least directing it at someone else.
For someone with a secret…Malaya is kinda openly defiant?
Not that I don’t approve of open defiance of a stupid rule, but Malaya is simultaneously depending on the tacit approval of her immediate social peers while thrusting both middle fingers in the face of her roommate who is already pissed off at her.
Make up your mind, Malaya. You can either keep Fuckface in your room or piss off your roommate, but doing both is going to require more social acumen than you seem to possess. Unless you have enough social acumen to alpha bongo Sal.
Thing is, Sal would consider going to authority about it to be a personal failing.
Beating Malaya to death with Fuckface’s heat lamp, though… Totally on the board.
No point to be a rebel if people don’t know about it.
In my reading of Malaya, all those things she accuse Sal of – “poser”, “fake rebel” and so on – applies much better to her.
I don’t necessarily agree with her that it is a bad thing/i>, though. But that is a completely different discussion.
(Yey me for fudgning up HTML)
A related read on her is that she is a rebel without a cause, being a pest to get a cause. If you piss off enough people, one of them is bound to become someone worthy of being a rebel against (which I think explains half of her obnoxiousness towards Sal).
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/introduction/
That’s been my read on her character. She’s not the sort to make friends – she’d rather make enemies. They’re more challenging.
CYRANO
…I mark
The manner of these canine courtesies
And think: “My friends are of a cleaner breed;
Here comes—thank God—another enemy!”
LE BRET
But this is madness!
CYRANO
Method, let us say. It is my pleasure to displease. I love hatred.
So, thanks to Carla and her inexplicable need to impress Malaya, Reed Hall is now literally hopping with
cricketslettuce. Well done, Carla; I’m sure that Ruth is going to regret waking up today!Heads of lettuce do fall off easily in thin plastic bags. Can’t blame Carla.
Heisenberg’s lettuce.
I love Carla
Wow, Carla. Just wow.
Trying to force-feed meat to a vegetarian?
That’s not cricke-…. er, wait.
Carla is too precious in this strip and I’m gonna explode from cute.
I KNOW, she’s so cute it’s unfair.
Saw this comic and did a “find in page” search for “cute” so I could find someone to agree with
Mary is going to be having a GOOD DAY today.
Iguana also like bread…and raiding kitchens at night (I learned this at a villa I stayed in once in Mexico. *lol*)..
Surprisingly Iguana’s are very light. I’ve had one on my shoulders.
at no time do I want to see Mary sticking her head in the door, saying Lettuce Prey
Nobody will rat out Fuckface because he will become the darling mascot of Read Hall. Never mind what they feel about Malaya.