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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
TFW2005 @tfw2005.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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mccloud
best loophole
a poophole loophole
a grouphole poophole loophole
A whole group who’ll poop a loophole
rejoyce
If it ain’t a loophole it don’t count
Amber is happy.
I am afraid.
I would be happy too if I sat in the privacy chairs with a good friend, chatting with another
yeah, plus Ethan’s there too
Amber has been smiling recently and I am living for it!!! I love how positive her friendship with Walky is. Also I love Ethan feeling sing-songy, free to be himself
Yes but it cannot last. And I dread finding out how Willis intends to punish us
Blaine
definitely Blaine
Also, some of the preview panels have me thinking he will not appreciate finding out about her ‘correcting’ his grades.
Ah, the 11th Plague. Rain of Blaine.
The Rain of Blaine falls mainly down the Drain.
I’m pretty sure that is because of all the Ethan slashfic she is writing in her head right now.
#Lifehack
I believe the phrase is “technically correct: the best kind of correct”
…although I haven’t a clue where it came from.
Futurama.
Futurama
Futurama
Futurama.
How Hermes requisitioned his groove back.
From, you know, some spin-off of the Simpsons or Critic or something.
Fritz the Cat.
No, it really is Futurama.
Ah, I was hoping someone would have already made this reference.
I don’t know if anyone answered this yet…
But it was Futurama.
It was some sort of drama, set in the future. What was it called…“Immineater”, or something?
Homestuck.
Darude.
So if Mike really DOES fancy Ethan, seeing him boink other guys is going to eat him up. Karma!
Eh, not exactly “karma”, considering that this version of Mike hasn’t done anything puppy-kickingly evil. Blaine or Mary, on the other hand…
*Blaine and Mary play a game of 1-on-1 puppy-ball soccer*
Yeah, fuck Naomi.
No. Nobody fuck Naomi. Including Ethan’s possibly closeted dad.
Well he must have fucked her at some point, otherwise we wouldn’t have Ethan.
No, Ethan emerged fully formed when a collision at Toys R Us caused pallet of Dinobot toys to fall into an irradiated pool of Nickelodeon Gak.
Technically, it could have been someone other than her husband who sired Ethan.
Yeah, I currently foresee her ending up a lot like Leslie’s mom in the other universe: too up in her own bigotry to accept her child as he is, even if Ethan continues to give her and Saul chances (and frankly I’m not sure he’d keep trying into his 30s like Leslie did), and ultimately losing out on her only child and any potential grandchildren forever.
I say let ‘em.
(I suspect a similar fate awaits Carol, who will either disowned or be cut off by all but John. I’m not entirely certain Sal is willing to stop trying with her parents even if she could yet, but once she hits financial independence I wouldn’t be surprised. Jury’s still out on Walky and Billie, but I think if both the twins took that stance then Billie would probably side with them over Charles and Linda.)
I can see Walky and Billie remaining in contact with Charles and Linda but not really talking to them about Sal (and standing up for her if/when they say something crappy). Sal on the other hand, I think would eventually cut them off (eventually – after she stops trying to make them love her which could be a while since that’s something Sal seems to struggle with wanting if Family Weekend was anything to note).
Yeah, I think it’ll be a while before Sal stops trying, and I can’t see Walky doing so unless Linda’s expectations for him get truly unbearable. (Even then, Linda would probably keep reaching out for him in a way she wouldn’t for Sal.) Currently unlikely, but still possible because Walky’s current predicament is setting up for a huge fall.
There’s also Clint and Blaine, who I just want dead ASAP likelihood be damned.
Yeah, and I think the fact Linda would probably try with Walky would be the key factor in Walky keeping in touch (even if he also gets some distance).
Jeez, I think that covers most of the parents. Aside from Dorothy’s, and potentially Dina’s, I think all of the main cast have at least one parent (or grandparent, in Ruth’s case) with some glaring, fatal flaw. We’ve never seen Sarah’s, though, so far as I’m aware, so there’s that.
I’m probably missing a few, though.
But seriously, give me Dorothy’s parents any day.
It’s closer to half and half on the parents, but if you’re looking for both good parents, the numbers go down.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/remainder/
9 good dads, 9 bad dads, 10 good moms, 6 bad moms, 14 parents of indeterminate morality.
I was looking for “both good parents,” yeah. Amber’s mom, for example, seems to be mostly alright, but I didn’t count Amber because Blaine is, well, Blaine. Similarly, we don’t know how Becky’s mom was to her daughter, but Toedad invalidates any chance of my counting Becky.
So we have about six sets – Dorothy’s, Dina’s, Mike’s, Mary’s (word of god is they’re very nice people who’s daughter learned the wrong lessons at church), Carla’s and Sierra’s.
I just ran the numbers again to get the parents as a set.
If we’re taking all parents/guardians together, here’s the numbers.
6 sets have 2 good parents (Mary, Mike, Carla, Dina, Dorothy, Sierra)
5 sets have a mix of good and bad parents (Roz, Joyce, Becky, Ruth, and Amber)
5 sets have 2 bad parents (Walky and Sal, Billie, Danny, Ethan, and Leslie)
7 sets have yet to be determined (Joe, Sarah, Jacob, Marcie, Malaya, Lucy, and Raidah).
I’d add Faz to ‘both bad parents’, most likely. (There’s a chance Yuri could be decent, but that whole ‘you’ll never get to go to college because Amber’ comment was not a good sign. Add in the ‘she’s the nicest one to me’ line, assuming it’s true, and I don’t have a lot of hope.)
Ah, yes, true, so make that 7 bad moms and 6 sets of 2 bad parents.
Mike’s parents are lovely people
If Walkyverse Leslie’s parents didn’t have a helicopter, I’m certain she would have given up on them much sooner.
We really need a scorecard to keep track of the parental rankings, here:
Near the top, we’ve got Dorothy’s and Dina’s parents, who all seem genuinely nice people who do effective, non-judgemental parenting.
Next down, and not by a lot, are Mike’s, who would be top-tier, but really should be just a little more aware of their son’s issues. Also at this tier is Amber’s mom. I don’t blame her for the abuse, but she’s still kind of clinging to a rosy-eyed view of the world that doesn’t help Amber out now–still, it’s clear her heart’s in the right place.
Next level are a pair of dads–Joyce’s and Ethan’s. These two aren’t necessarily the active source of trouble, but they’re passive when their spouse is being a genuine problem. Joyce’s dad seems to have a bit more of a clue than Ethan’s, but he still needs to confront his wife more directly to move up.
After this, we get to the parents who actively caused their kids’ issues, though acting without malice: Joe’s dad and those helicopters hovering over Danny. They all think of themselves as loving parents, but their own issues keep them from seeing how their approach is causing problems.
Billie’s parents seem mostly absentee. Vaguely benign neglect is still pretty crappy parenting.
Okay, now we get to the ones who, frankly, need to get a clue-by-four to the face: Ethan’s and Joyce’s moms, Sal and Walky’s folks. They aren’t actively evil, but damned, they make me grit my teeth a lot. And none of them seem to be getting any better–if anything, they double-down as time goes on. One can hope for redemption, but they genuinely have problems for which they need redeeming (as opposed to simply changing their ways–there’s atonement and amends that need to come, too).
Okay, now imagine I did something like create a whole string of blank posts, to represent a gigantic gap here, m’kay?
And finally, we hit the basement. Blaine and Toedad. To hell with these assholes. Dump ’em in the same cell, then lose the key.
And getting a (dis)honorable mention, just above Blaine and Toedad, is Clint.
Technically he’s Ruth’s grandfather so he doesn’t belong, but he plays the same role and it just ain’t right to leave him unmentioned.
I’d move Richard down a notch too. Technically he’s without malice, but he’s really screwed Joe up and his cheating ruined the relationship too. Nor am I sure Ethan’s Dad belongs much above Naomi – he didn’t seem so bad, but he was basically supporting her on Family Weekend. We haven’t seen him in the flashback, so it’s hard to judge.
Some good points from the little seen parents as well: Carla’s parents get high marks for apparent full out support for a trans kid. Sierra’s dad stood up to Blaine when he was chasing Amber.
Mary’s parents are supposedly good, but could be dinged a notch for similar reasons to Mike’s – they’ve created a monster.
I agree we can drop Clint in the same cell as Blaine and Toedad.
You’re right that Carla and Sierra’s folks all seem pretty damned awesome, and should be at the top of the list thus far.
I didn’t remember enough about Mary’s folks to give them any kind of ranking at this point. Joe’s mom is in pretty much the same non-place.
Richard is responsible for Joe’s mentality–just like Danny’s parents clearly set a tone with him that’s been destructive as hell. But I believe that if they actually perceived a threat to their kids, they’d directly move against it. They just can’t bring themselves to understand the threat they, themselves pose.
Billie’s folks, by comparison, are completely non-existent in her life, already, and seem to have written her off (whether it was before or after the accident is unknown). That, to me, is a worse ‘sin’ for a parent, because there’s no way you can try to help without being involved.
To get below Billie’s folks, I have to figure that the character would literally be better off than they are now if their parent chose to withdraw. In the case of Naomi and Carol, I’m willing to make that argument. Not so much in the case of Danny’s folks or Richard (yet).
I disagree with Danny’s parents and Ethan’s dad’s ranking. Ethan’s dad actively participates and Danny’s parents treat him like dirt.
Yeah, about the worst thing to say to your kid a couple weeks after he breaks up with someone he’s dated for years is ‘you’ll never do better, she was the only way you’ll make something of yourself.’ A lot of Danny’s early Danny-ness was pretty clearly the result of that mindset being pressed into him. And it’s pretty clear he’s been the Disappointment for a long, long time.
Saul genuinely thinks his son should be miserable his entire life because he thinks sex is awful and must be suffered through and this is The Natural Way Of Things. I pity him, because it’s pretty clear he’s internalized SOMETHING, but that doesn’t excuse putting that on your kid.
As previously mentioned, Carla’s parents are loving and supportive and will fight like hell to get their daughter proper treatment. Full marks. Similarly fond of Sierra’s parents. (Her dad especially, since he immediately intervened in the Blaine situation and handles it really well, but that her parents are clearly so supportive of her is nice and their bio from that arc said Sierra’s adopted – always nice to see a loving adoptive family.)
My personal rankings are as follows
Top tier – Ruttens and Snowes’ (Carla and Sierra’s parents)
Good tier – Keener’s and Saruyama’s (Dina and Dorothy’s parents)
Good people and good to kid but raised a monster – Warner’s and Bradford’s (Mary and Mike’s)
Good to kids, but not seen much – Roz’s mom and stepdad
Heart in the right place, could use some work – Stacey and Hank (Joyce’s dad and Amber’s mom)
Good but no longer present – Bonnie (Becky’s mom), Ruth’s parents (Note: Clint says Ruth’s dad was a cheater, but I trust him as far as I can spit him – Ruth and Howard both seemed to like him)
Yet to be determined – Clintons, Rosenthals (though it must be said they’ve messed Joe up, even if they’re not outright bad to him), Williams, Diazes, Eugenios, Glenns and Rasheeds (In order: Sarah, Joe, Jacob, Marcie, Malaya, Lucy, and Raidah)
Bad tier – Billingsworth’s (Billie), Roz’s bio dad (apparently she has no relationship with him anymore, so I’d not be shocked if he’s completely dropped out of her life)
Worse tier – Wilcox’s (Danny), Yuri (Faz’s mom – Faz says she’s not nice to him and she’s definitely planning something against her stepdaughter, though I’ll note we’re not sure how much of this is poisoned info from Blaine or a result of his abuse/grooming)
Toxic tier – Carol, Walkertons, Siegals, Beans (Joyce’s mom, Walky and Sal’s parents, Ethan’s parents, Leslie’s parents)
DEAR GOD WHO LET THEM HAVE KIDS tier – Ross, Clint, Blaine (Becky’s dad, Ruth’s (former) legal guardian, and Amber’s dad)
I have sympathy for Yuri, because she’s very likely been groomed and abused by Blaine since she was a teenager, but yeah, she’s likely a piece of work herself by now, if she wasn’t to start with.
I’d throw Richard a long way below Joe’s mom, rather than lumping them together. We haven’t seen her or heard much of her, but we know Richard’s a big source of Joe’s issues, even if he wasn’t intentionally abusive. His cheating caused the divorce and his cheating was a model for Joe’s behavior.
Early Hank was probably down in the Worse tier as a source of Joyce’s problems. Not as bad as Carol, but that’s not saying much. He gets the “Most improved parent” award though.
Yeah, there’s a slew of folks I put nothing down about–Ruth’s parents, Mary’s folks, Roz’s parents, Becky’s mom and Joe’s mom. This is because I just don’t think we have enough info to properly figure out what the truth is. Becky is, IMNSHO, an unreliable narrator when it comes to her mom–while I doubt she was remotely abusive, she certainly went along with ToeDad’s earlier form of hyper-religious brainwashing of their kids. There’s no reason to assume that, if she were alive, she would’ve been any better than Joyce’s mom is. (No reason to assume she wouldn’t be, either.)
there’s freaking herds of men to go after, ethan’s got this in the bag
Hurr hurr (not sure if innuendo, but pretty sure it can be)
I think the term (from Faye Whitaker at QC) of boyfling works nicely here.
So is this how Danny will become a jealous mess, according to Mike’s plan? (Yes, I refuse to trust positive developments!)
I still think people are probably taking a punchline too seriously, but I mean, if that’s the payoff to this, that’d be… kind of an anticlimax? guess we’ll see.
If that’s the plan there’ll probably be several climaxes.
Heh
Rimshot!
So Mike’s plan is to make Danny jealous by sleeping with Ethan, empowering him to go sleep with other guys. There we go!
*plays The Captain & Tennile’s cover of “Shop Around” on the hacked Muzak*
And not “It’s Raining Men”?
Maybe we’ll get to that one later in this spin.
I approve of this Ethan.
There is a very important missing comma in that post.
Sez you.
Nah, it works just as well without the comma.
This Ethan is nice and happy, instead of the old, stressed Ethan~
Also this Ethan doesn’t have a dumb bowl cut.
I really want one of those chairs.
I’m really proud of Ethan.
That blurred out guy in the red shirt is dangerously close to looking like Ryan. Ethan, don’t date but not date that guy just for the unfortunate appearance similarity.
That’s Evan. Note the cool cybernetic arm.
Although ow that you point it out, that hair is WAY too close to Ryan’s for comfort.
Red shirt is Evan, the previously mentioned guy with 3D-printed arm. Dude is probably pretty decent but I also suspect given how close he’s walking with Thad he may not be available.
If Thad and Evan have already hooked up, at least Ethan would probably take it better this time than he did in SP!. What with his newfound chill and all.
I believe this is the first appearance of Evan in DoA.
I figured out Mike’s evil plan!
1. Encourage Ethan into having a bunch of shallow and meaningless sexual encounters
2. Create porn from said encounters
3. Profit.
Now you may wonder how this plan is evil. Well Ethan may end up having lots of sex, but he will never find love. Oh, and the porn is only available via paid subscription. He’s an evil genius!
So Mike is a meta-Slipshiner, kinda like Amber, except hers is slashfic and his is actual video. Willis’s spirit children!
its canon now
Mike is secretly recording each and every slipshine
Every angle is through one of his hidden camera’s. He’s the true pornlord david willis is secretly a figure head.
willis dont you fucking dare wiLLIS NO STOP
Wait, isn’t filming people having sex without their consent a sexual offense? Mike could end up in jail.
4. Naomi finds the porn.
5. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
6. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
7. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
8. Doom® (2016)
9. DOOM ETERNAL (2018)
10. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doom_2099
Isn’t that Willis’ plan?
Nope – that’s MIKE’s plan!
Evilness achieved!!
Oh, Ethan… Never change.
Now that Ethan feels empowered to go out and have a ton of casual sex, Mike will enact the second part of his plan: a visual art piece entitled ‘Ethan’s Penis Is Extremely Small And Crooked’.
I think the alt text has been watching Futurama….
I like all of this, outside of EVIL MA
There’s the guys, particularly Evan. You got this, Ethan!
The magic of technicalities!
Shop till you drop Ethan
Sounds like a plan!
Potential Naomi theory:
Ethan’s dad had just come out to her (either as ace or gay) before she went to Flaahback!Amber’s party. She was panicking, afraid her family was falling apart because of her partner’s sexuality – and then realised Ethan was crushing on Mike. And projected her feelings onto him. So for her, Ethan being gay is linked with feelings of overwhelming self-loathing (how didn’t she know? The guy she married, the father of her children, has just told her he was never really into her… Is she stupid? Is she repulsive?), inadequacy (if he has only just realised this is it her fault? If she were a better wife/lover surely she could have made him happy?), fear (what’s going to happen now? Will everybody blame her? Is her family going to fall apart?), etc. She has shut down acceptance of both her husband’s sexuality and her son’s, projected her feelings onto Amber with vitriol, and is trying to browbeat her son into remaining the person she thought he was, to keep her family together, which she genuinely believes has been working on her husband, and literally won’t see that this is the best way to push him away until it’s too late… All her feelings about this remain a horrific frozen petrified mess of negativity that she refuses to address because she believes that doing so will destroy her family.
I would definitely find it more interesting if she’s not a terrible person but is in a lot of pain, and isn’t actually homophobic or a shrew (but is doing one heck of an imitation)…
To be absolutely clear: her behaviour has been absolutely toxic and reprehensible, and telling your son he’s a disappointment, accusing his best friend of being such a terrible gf she’s turned him gay… err, literally every time we have seen her – she has acted like an awful parent and person…
But it would be kinda nifty to see her move to accept her son, and possibly either make the decision to leave Ethan’s dad so they can both move on, or embrace a non-sexual but loving and supportive (possibly discreetly open) marriage.
If there was some such catalyst for her actions at Amber’s party, she’s maintained it for the 5 years since. Given that, I’m not sure we need any such immediate trigger.
So they really don’t know him at all
If Ethan’s gonna pull a Becky on his closet, I hope he’s stocked up on condoms.
I don’t think he’s the type to explode his closet. He may remove the lock, so people can come and go as they please.
Ethan was right, that IS a neat prosthetic arm. For some reason I can imagine it with a Nerf gun built in.
I dunno, Ethan. Do you really want to get a reputation as a ‘player’?
Of course, the temptation is enormous but I think that he would be sacrificing something essential to his nature if he were to be too casual about these things. One of the big errors college-age kids commit is doing things like this just to defy their families and regretting it later.
I would say the biggest risk with Ethan is that it’s not what he REALLY wants. As most of us can see, Ethan’s not a “player”. One night stands or even FWB are not going to be emotionally satisfying. He belongs to the category of people (of which I am one too) who only want to have sex with people they are in love with, or at least feel some kind of strong emotional attachment to. As such, trying to make yourself into a free-wheeling gay Lothario will ultimately backfire, leaving you feeling hollow and maybe even self-hating.
I would be okay if Ethan found out he likes sex but doesn’t want a relationship now.
Mike or otherwise.
Will Ethan let it slip that he wants to be with Danny?
At least that’s what I got from their conversation in Ethan’s room (which Jacob happened to overhear). Or has Ethan given up on that altogether?
I think he THINKS he’s given up altogether. But of course, we all know/desperately hope that just means they’re endgame.
Oh, the unpleasant age when you have to lie (or technically tell the truth) to your parents, because you don’t want to end up homeless like Becky was. Poor Ethan.
Nobody serious (Danny)
who’s available (Jacob).
Technically, I think technically is the best kind of lie.
Walkypedia rarely updates anymore. I am an admin of Walkypedia and I am reminding the DoA comments community that it still exists and ongoing plot stuff of this strip could use updating there, if anyone is interested. Link is in my URL.
Someone serious who’s not available is definitely Danny. Will Amber catch that hint or will it sail over her head? They only stopped earlier to avoid hurting her.
Danny is available in most senses of the word. The only way that he isn’t is the fact that hooking up would have knock-on effects. That seems pretty socially subtle for Amber to pick up on.
Is this Mike’s diabolical plan? Being sneakily honest and genuine about his feelings and have Ethan cheat on him, validating all future evil from Mike while Ethan is crippled by guilt?
You have to have a relationship before you can cheat.
Yeah, it kinda seems like Mike’s plan might be to break his OWN heart?
I like that you are finally out of the closet and into a good sexual life, Ethan, but don’t forget to use protection if you are going for casual flings. STDs are still a thing. Also, don’t become like a gay version of Joe. His last sexual encounter was just because Malaya didnt understand the degrading concept of ranking women.
Or because she didn’t understand Sal.
Or because Malaya didn’t care about Joe’s personality, she just wanted to screw him because he’s hot.
Her stated reasons involved the list and getting a better ranking than Sal on it. Though, just to reinforce some of Joe’s earlier comments”, it likely would have been different if he hadn’t been hot.
Yes, yes, yes. Move on from Spike and get someone worthwhile or just date around until you find somebody you like and care about who isn’t Spike the blank-eyed creep.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK EVERYTHING!!!!
Sorry, Aretha Franklin has died and I needed to get that off my chest! 8(
What?! Aww.
if Mike is all-devious, then can he make a Mike plot so diabolical even Mike will get fucked over and forced to confront uncomfortable truths about himself?
Mikeception.
Lol!
Way to go Ethan for saying he’s gonna have a casual relationship and then actually BEING ABLE TO STAY casual
that shit is hard bro