Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 14, 2026

Crushed

by David M Willis on August 16, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 04 – Of Mike And Men
└ Tags: amber, bryan, ethan, evan, thad

Discussion (134) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    August 16, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    best loophole

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      August 16, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      a poophole loophole

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        August 16, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

        a grouphole poophole loophole

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          August 16, 2018 at 11:14 am | #

          A whole group who’ll poop a loophole

      • butts
        butts
        August 16, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

        rejoyce

  2. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    August 16, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    If it ain’t a loophole it don’t count

  3. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    August 16, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Amber is happy.

    I am afraid.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      August 16, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      I would be happy too if I sat in the privacy chairs with a good friend, chatting with another

      • butts
        butts
        August 16, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

        yeah, plus Ethan’s there too

    • crys
      crys
      August 16, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Amber has been smiling recently and I am living for it!!! I love how positive her friendship with Walky is. Also I love Ethan feeling sing-songy, free to be himself

      • TrueVCU
        TrueVCU
        August 16, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

        Yes but it cannot last. And I dread finding out how Willis intends to punish us

        • butts
          butts
          August 16, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

          Blaine

          definitely Blaine

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            August 16, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

            Also, some of the preview panels have me thinking he will not appreciate finding out about her ‘correcting’ his grades.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            August 16, 2018 at 12:39 am | #

            Ah, the 11th Plague. Rain of Blaine.

            • Crumplepunch
              Crumplepunch
              August 16, 2018 at 2:32 am | #

              The Rain of Blaine falls mainly down the Drain.

    • bubba0077
      bubba0077
      August 16, 2018 at 1:20 am | #

      I’m pretty sure that is because of all the Ethan slashfic she is writing in her head right now.

  4. Bagge
    Bagge
    August 16, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    #Lifehack

  5. Inahc
    Inahc
    August 16, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    I believe the phrase is “technically correct: the best kind of correct” 🙂
    …although I haven’t a clue where it came from.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      August 16, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      Futurama.

    • CrazyJ
      CrazyJ
      August 16, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      Futurama

    • wwwhhattt
      wwwhhattt
      August 16, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

      Futurama

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      August 16, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

      Futurama.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      August 16, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

      How Hermes requisitioned his groove back.
      From, you know, some spin-off of the Simpsons or Critic or something.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 16, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

      Fritz the Cat.

      No, it really is Futurama.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      August 16, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

      Ah, I was hoping someone would have already made this reference.

    • Michael
      Michael
      August 16, 2018 at 1:17 am | #

      I don’t know if anyone answered this yet…
      But it was Futurama.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      August 16, 2018 at 1:51 am | #

      It was some sort of drama, set in the future. What was it called…“Immineater”, or something?

      • Haven
        Haven
        August 16, 2018 at 12:03 pm | #

        Homestuck.

        • MatthewTheLucky
          MatthewTheLucky
          August 16, 2018 at 7:40 pm | #

          Darude.

  6. Hari
    Hari
    August 16, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    So if Mike really DOES fancy Ethan, seeing him boink other guys is going to eat him up. Karma!

    • Stu
      Stu
      August 16, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Eh, not exactly “karma”, considering that this version of Mike hasn’t done anything puppy-kickingly evil. Blaine or Mary, on the other hand…

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        August 16, 2018 at 8:19 am | #

        *Blaine and Mary play a game of 1-on-1 puppy-ball soccer*

  7. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    August 16, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Yeah, fuck Naomi.

    • MM
      MM
      August 16, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      No. Nobody fuck Naomi. Including Ethan’s possibly closeted dad.

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        August 16, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

        Well he must have fucked her at some point, otherwise we wouldn’t have Ethan.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          August 16, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

          No, Ethan emerged fully formed when a collision at Toys R Us caused pallet of Dinobot toys to fall into an irradiated pool of Nickelodeon Gak.

        • NotPiffany
          NotPiffany
          August 16, 2018 at 10:31 am | #

          Technically, it could have been someone other than her husband who sired Ethan.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 16, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

      Yeah, I currently foresee her ending up a lot like Leslie’s mom in the other universe: too up in her own bigotry to accept her child as he is, even if Ethan continues to give her and Saul chances (and frankly I’m not sure he’d keep trying into his 30s like Leslie did), and ultimately losing out on her only child and any potential grandchildren forever.

      I say let ‘em.

      (I suspect a similar fate awaits Carol, who will either disowned or be cut off by all but John. I’m not entirely certain Sal is willing to stop trying with her parents even if she could yet, but once she hits financial independence I wouldn’t be surprised. Jury’s still out on Walky and Billie, but I think if both the twins took that stance then Billie would probably side with them over Charles and Linda.)

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        August 16, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

        I can see Walky and Billie remaining in contact with Charles and Linda but not really talking to them about Sal (and standing up for her if/when they say something crappy). Sal on the other hand, I think would eventually cut them off (eventually – after she stops trying to make them love her which could be a while since that’s something Sal seems to struggle with wanting if Family Weekend was anything to note).

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          August 16, 2018 at 12:47 am | #

          Yeah, I think it’ll be a while before Sal stops trying, and I can’t see Walky doing so unless Linda’s expectations for him get truly unbearable. (Even then, Linda would probably keep reaching out for him in a way she wouldn’t for Sal.) Currently unlikely, but still possible because Walky’s current predicament is setting up for a huge fall.

          There’s also Clint and Blaine, who I just want dead ASAP likelihood be damned.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            August 16, 2018 at 12:59 am | #

            Yeah, and I think the fact Linda would probably try with Walky would be the key factor in Walky keeping in touch (even if he also gets some distance).

      • Jon Rich
        Jon Rich
        August 16, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

        Jeez, I think that covers most of the parents. Aside from Dorothy’s, and potentially Dina’s, I think all of the main cast have at least one parent (or grandparent, in Ruth’s case) with some glaring, fatal flaw. We’ve never seen Sarah’s, though, so far as I’m aware, so there’s that.

        I’m probably missing a few, though.

        But seriously, give me Dorothy’s parents any day.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          August 16, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

          It’s closer to half and half on the parents, but if you’re looking for both good parents, the numbers go down.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            August 16, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

            http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/remainder/

            9 good dads, 9 bad dads, 10 good moms, 6 bad moms, 14 parents of indeterminate morality.

          • Jon Rich
            Jon Rich
            August 16, 2018 at 12:02 pm | #

            I was looking for “both good parents,” yeah. Amber’s mom, for example, seems to be mostly alright, but I didn’t count Amber because Blaine is, well, Blaine. Similarly, we don’t know how Becky’s mom was to her daughter, but Toedad invalidates any chance of my counting Becky.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              August 16, 2018 at 1:10 pm | #

              So we have about six sets – Dorothy’s, Dina’s, Mike’s, Mary’s (word of god is they’re very nice people who’s daughter learned the wrong lessons at church), Carla’s and Sierra’s.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                August 16, 2018 at 3:56 pm | #

                I just ran the numbers again to get the parents as a set.

                If we’re taking all parents/guardians together, here’s the numbers.

                6 sets have 2 good parents (Mary, Mike, Carla, Dina, Dorothy, Sierra)

                5 sets have a mix of good and bad parents (Roz, Joyce, Becky, Ruth, and Amber)

                5 sets have 2 bad parents (Walky and Sal, Billie, Danny, Ethan, and Leslie)

                7 sets have yet to be determined (Joe, Sarah, Jacob, Marcie, Malaya, Lucy, and Raidah).

                • Regalli
                  Regalli
                  August 16, 2018 at 9:23 pm | #

                  I’d add Faz to ‘both bad parents’, most likely. (There’s a chance Yuri could be decent, but that whole ‘you’ll never get to go to college because Amber’ comment was not a good sign. Add in the ‘she’s the nicest one to me’ line, assuming it’s true, and I don’t have a lot of hope.)

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  August 16, 2018 at 10:49 pm | #

                  Ah, yes, true, so make that 7 bad moms and 6 sets of 2 bad parents.

        • Julez
          Julez
          August 16, 2018 at 8:51 am | #

          Mike’s parents are lovely people

      • Tawdry Quirks
        Tawdry Quirks
        August 16, 2018 at 1:15 am | #

        If Walkyverse Leslie’s parents didn’t have a helicopter, I’m certain she would have given up on them much sooner.

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      August 16, 2018 at 6:08 pm | #

      We really need a scorecard to keep track of the parental rankings, here:

      Near the top, we’ve got Dorothy’s and Dina’s parents, who all seem genuinely nice people who do effective, non-judgemental parenting.

      Next down, and not by a lot, are Mike’s, who would be top-tier, but really should be just a little more aware of their son’s issues. Also at this tier is Amber’s mom. I don’t blame her for the abuse, but she’s still kind of clinging to a rosy-eyed view of the world that doesn’t help Amber out now–still, it’s clear her heart’s in the right place.

      Next level are a pair of dads–Joyce’s and Ethan’s. These two aren’t necessarily the active source of trouble, but they’re passive when their spouse is being a genuine problem. Joyce’s dad seems to have a bit more of a clue than Ethan’s, but he still needs to confront his wife more directly to move up.

      After this, we get to the parents who actively caused their kids’ issues, though acting without malice: Joe’s dad and those helicopters hovering over Danny. They all think of themselves as loving parents, but their own issues keep them from seeing how their approach is causing problems.

      Billie’s parents seem mostly absentee. Vaguely benign neglect is still pretty crappy parenting.

      Okay, now we get to the ones who, frankly, need to get a clue-by-four to the face: Ethan’s and Joyce’s moms, Sal and Walky’s folks. They aren’t actively evil, but damned, they make me grit my teeth a lot. And none of them seem to be getting any better–if anything, they double-down as time goes on. One can hope for redemption, but they genuinely have problems for which they need redeeming (as opposed to simply changing their ways–there’s atonement and amends that need to come, too).

      Okay, now imagine I did something like create a whole string of blank posts, to represent a gigantic gap here, m’kay?

      And finally, we hit the basement. Blaine and Toedad. To hell with these assholes. Dump ’em in the same cell, then lose the key.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        August 16, 2018 at 7:03 pm | #

        And getting a (dis)honorable mention, just above Blaine and Toedad, is Clint.

        Technically he’s Ruth’s grandfather so he doesn’t belong, but he plays the same role and it just ain’t right to leave him unmentioned.

        I’d move Richard down a notch too. Technically he’s without malice, but he’s really screwed Joe up and his cheating ruined the relationship too. Nor am I sure Ethan’s Dad belongs much above Naomi – he didn’t seem so bad, but he was basically supporting her on Family Weekend. We haven’t seen him in the flashback, so it’s hard to judge.

        Some good points from the little seen parents as well: Carla’s parents get high marks for apparent full out support for a trans kid. Sierra’s dad stood up to Blaine when he was chasing Amber.

        Mary’s parents are supposedly good, but could be dinged a notch for similar reasons to Mike’s – they’ve created a monster. 🙂

        • Freemage
          Freemage
          August 17, 2018 at 12:06 pm | #

          I agree we can drop Clint in the same cell as Blaine and Toedad.

          You’re right that Carla and Sierra’s folks all seem pretty damned awesome, and should be at the top of the list thus far.

          I didn’t remember enough about Mary’s folks to give them any kind of ranking at this point. Joe’s mom is in pretty much the same non-place.

          Richard is responsible for Joe’s mentality–just like Danny’s parents clearly set a tone with him that’s been destructive as hell. But I believe that if they actually perceived a threat to their kids, they’d directly move against it. They just can’t bring themselves to understand the threat they, themselves pose.

          Billie’s folks, by comparison, are completely non-existent in her life, already, and seem to have written her off (whether it was before or after the accident is unknown). That, to me, is a worse ‘sin’ for a parent, because there’s no way you can try to help without being involved.

          To get below Billie’s folks, I have to figure that the character would literally be better off than they are now if their parent chose to withdraw. In the case of Naomi and Carol, I’m willing to make that argument. Not so much in the case of Danny’s folks or Richard (yet).

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        August 16, 2018 at 7:07 pm | #

        I disagree with Danny’s parents and Ethan’s dad’s ranking. Ethan’s dad actively participates and Danny’s parents treat him like dirt.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          August 16, 2018 at 9:38 pm | #

          Yeah, about the worst thing to say to your kid a couple weeks after he breaks up with someone he’s dated for years is ‘you’ll never do better, she was the only way you’ll make something of yourself.’ A lot of Danny’s early Danny-ness was pretty clearly the result of that mindset being pressed into him. And it’s pretty clear he’s been the Disappointment for a long, long time.

          Saul genuinely thinks his son should be miserable his entire life because he thinks sex is awful and must be suffered through and this is The Natural Way Of Things. I pity him, because it’s pretty clear he’s internalized SOMETHING, but that doesn’t excuse putting that on your kid.

          As previously mentioned, Carla’s parents are loving and supportive and will fight like hell to get their daughter proper treatment. Full marks. Similarly fond of Sierra’s parents. (Her dad especially, since he immediately intervened in the Blaine situation and handles it really well, but that her parents are clearly so supportive of her is nice and their bio from that arc said Sierra’s adopted – always nice to see a loving adoptive family.)

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            August 16, 2018 at 11:03 pm | #

            My personal rankings are as follows

            Top tier – Ruttens and Snowes’ (Carla and Sierra’s parents)

            Good tier – Keener’s and Saruyama’s (Dina and Dorothy’s parents)

            Good people and good to kid but raised a monster – Warner’s and Bradford’s (Mary and Mike’s)

            Good to kids, but not seen much – Roz’s mom and stepdad

            Heart in the right place, could use some work – Stacey and Hank (Joyce’s dad and Amber’s mom)

            Good but no longer present – Bonnie (Becky’s mom), Ruth’s parents (Note: Clint says Ruth’s dad was a cheater, but I trust him as far as I can spit him – Ruth and Howard both seemed to like him)

            Yet to be determined – Clintons, Rosenthals (though it must be said they’ve messed Joe up, even if they’re not outright bad to him), Williams, Diazes, Eugenios, Glenns and Rasheeds (In order: Sarah, Joe, Jacob, Marcie, Malaya, Lucy, and Raidah)

            Bad tier – Billingsworth’s (Billie), Roz’s bio dad (apparently she has no relationship with him anymore, so I’d not be shocked if he’s completely dropped out of her life)

            Worse tier – Wilcox’s (Danny), Yuri (Faz’s mom – Faz says she’s not nice to him and she’s definitely planning something against her stepdaughter, though I’ll note we’re not sure how much of this is poisoned info from Blaine or a result of his abuse/grooming)

            Toxic tier – Carol, Walkertons, Siegals, Beans (Joyce’s mom, Walky and Sal’s parents, Ethan’s parents, Leslie’s parents)

            DEAR GOD WHO LET THEM HAVE KIDS tier – Ross, Clint, Blaine (Becky’s dad, Ruth’s (former) legal guardian, and Amber’s dad)

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              August 17, 2018 at 9:14 am | #

              I have sympathy for Yuri, because she’s very likely been groomed and abused by Blaine since she was a teenager, but yeah, she’s likely a piece of work herself by now, if she wasn’t to start with.

              I’d throw Richard a long way below Joe’s mom, rather than lumping them together. We haven’t seen her or heard much of her, but we know Richard’s a big source of Joe’s issues, even if he wasn’t intentionally abusive. His cheating caused the divorce and his cheating was a model for Joe’s behavior.

              Early Hank was probably down in the Worse tier as a source of Joyce’s problems. Not as bad as Carol, but that’s not saying much. He gets the “Most improved parent” award though.

              • Freemage
                Freemage
                August 17, 2018 at 12:18 pm | #

                Yeah, there’s a slew of folks I put nothing down about–Ruth’s parents, Mary’s folks, Roz’s parents, Becky’s mom and Joe’s mom. This is because I just don’t think we have enough info to properly figure out what the truth is. Becky is, IMNSHO, an unreliable narrator when it comes to her mom–while I doubt she was remotely abusive, she certainly went along with ToeDad’s earlier form of hyper-religious brainwashing of their kids. There’s no reason to assume that, if she were alive, she would’ve been any better than Joyce’s mom is. (No reason to assume she wouldn’t be, either.)

  8. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    August 16, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    there’s freaking herds of men to go after, ethan’s got this in the bag

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      August 16, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

      Hurr hurr (not sure if innuendo, but pretty sure it can be)

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      August 16, 2018 at 1:18 pm | #

      I think the term (from Faye Whitaker at QC) of boyfling works nicely here.

  9. Deadjolras
    Deadjolras
    August 16, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    So is this how Danny will become a jealous mess, according to Mike’s plan? (Yes, I refuse to trust positive developments!)

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      August 16, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

      I still think people are probably taking a punchline too seriously, but I mean, if that’s the payoff to this, that’d be… kind of an anticlimax? guess we’ll see.

      • wwwhhattt
        wwwhhattt
        August 16, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

        If that’s the plan there’ll probably be several climaxes.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          August 16, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

          Heh

        • Freemage
          Freemage
          August 16, 2018 at 6:13 pm | #

          Rimshot!

  10. Nono
    Nono
    August 16, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    So Mike’s plan is to make Danny jealous by sleeping with Ethan, empowering him to go sleep with other guys. There we go!

  11. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    August 16, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    *plays The Captain & Tennile’s cover of “Shop Around” on the hacked Muzak*

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      August 16, 2018 at 5:53 pm | #

      And not “It’s Raining Men”?

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        August 16, 2018 at 11:39 pm | #

        Maybe we’ll get to that one later in this spin.

  12. BBCC
    BBCC
    August 16, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    I approve of this Ethan.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      August 16, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      There is a very important missing comma in that post.

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        August 16, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

        Sez you.

      • Aletheia
        Aletheia
        August 16, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

        Nah, it works just as well without the comma. 😛 This Ethan is nice and happy, instead of the old, stressed Ethan~

        • Kris
          Kris
          August 16, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

          Also this Ethan doesn’t have a dumb bowl cut.

  13. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
    August 16, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    I really want one of those chairs.

  14. lilyliv
    lilyliv
    August 16, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    I’m really proud of Ethan.

  15. Kris
    Kris
    August 16, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    That blurred out guy in the red shirt is dangerously close to looking like Ryan. Ethan, don’t date but not date that guy just for the unfortunate appearance similarity.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      August 16, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

      That’s Evan. Note the cool cybernetic arm.

      Although ow that you point it out, that hair is WAY too close to Ryan’s for comfort.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 16, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

      Red shirt is Evan, the previously mentioned guy with 3D-printed arm. Dude is probably pretty decent but I also suspect given how close he’s walking with Thad he may not be available.

      • ShinyNeen
        ShinyNeen
        August 16, 2018 at 6:39 am | #

        If Thad and Evan have already hooked up, at least Ethan would probably take it better this time than he did in SP!. What with his newfound chill and all.

  16. Keulen
    Keulen
    August 16, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    I believe this is the first appearance of Evan in DoA.

  17. Kris
    Kris
    August 16, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

    I figured out Mike’s evil plan!

    1. Encourage Ethan into having a bunch of shallow and meaningless sexual encounters

    2. Create porn from said encounters

    3. Profit.

    Now you may wonder how this plan is evil. Well Ethan may end up having lots of sex, but he will never find love. Oh, and the porn is only available via paid subscription. He’s an evil genius!

    • bearfuz
      bearfuz
      August 16, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

      So Mike is a meta-Slipshiner, kinda like Amber, except hers is slashfic and his is actual video. Willis’s spirit children!

      • skittylover3
        skittylover3
        August 16, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

        its canon now
        Mike is secretly recording each and every slipshine
        Every angle is through one of his hidden camera’s. He’s the true pornlord david willis is secretly a figure head.

        • HMH
          HMH
          August 16, 2018 at 5:51 am | #

          willis dont you fucking dare wiLLIS NO STOP

          • abysswatcher1993
            abysswatcher1993
            August 16, 2018 at 11:58 am | #

            Wait, isn’t filming people having sex without their consent a sexual offense? Mike could end up in jail.

    • mrnoidea
      mrnoidea
      August 16, 2018 at 12:55 am | #

      4. Naomi finds the porn.

      5. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        August 16, 2018 at 1:04 am | #

        6. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

        7. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

        8. Doom® (2016)

        • abysswatcher1993
          abysswatcher1993
          August 16, 2018 at 11:59 am | #

          9. DOOM ETERNAL (2018)

          • JBento
            JBento
            August 16, 2018 at 4:16 pm | #

            10. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doom_2099

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      August 16, 2018 at 1:55 am | #

      Isn’t that Willis’ plan?

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        August 16, 2018 at 8:26 am | #

        Nope – that’s MIKE’s plan!

        Evilness achieved!!

  18. Jay
    Jay
    August 16, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

    Oh, Ethan… Never change.

  19. Dean
    Dean
    August 16, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

    Now that Ethan feels empowered to go out and have a ton of casual sex, Mike will enact the second part of his plan: a visual art piece entitled ‘Ethan’s Penis Is Extremely Small And Crooked’.

  20. DT
    DT
    August 16, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

    I think the alt text has been watching Futurama….

  21. stoodmuffin
    stoodmuffin
    August 16, 2018 at 12:44 am | #

    I like all of this, outside of EVIL MA

  22. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    August 16, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

    There’s the guys, particularly Evan. You got this, Ethan!

  23. a4lbi
    a4lbi
    August 16, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

    The magic of technicalities!

  24. SailorCakes
    SailorCakes
    August 16, 2018 at 1:22 am | #

    Shop till you drop Ethan 😉

  25. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    August 16, 2018 at 1:55 am | #

    Sounds like a plan!

  26. Miri
    Miri
    August 16, 2018 at 2:05 am | #

    Potential Naomi theory:

    Ethan’s dad had just come out to her (either as ace or gay) before she went to Flaahback!Amber’s party. She was panicking, afraid her family was falling apart because of her partner’s sexuality – and then realised Ethan was crushing on Mike. And projected her feelings onto him. So for her, Ethan being gay is linked with feelings of overwhelming self-loathing (how didn’t she know? The guy she married, the father of her children, has just told her he was never really into her… Is she stupid? Is she repulsive?), inadequacy (if he has only just realised this is it her fault? If she were a better wife/lover surely she could have made him happy?), fear (what’s going to happen now? Will everybody blame her? Is her family going to fall apart?), etc. She has shut down acceptance of both her husband’s sexuality and her son’s, projected her feelings onto Amber with vitriol, and is trying to browbeat her son into remaining the person she thought he was, to keep her family together, which she genuinely believes has been working on her husband, and literally won’t see that this is the best way to push him away until it’s too late… All her feelings about this remain a horrific frozen petrified mess of negativity that she refuses to address because she believes that doing so will destroy her family.

    I would definitely find it more interesting if she’s not a terrible person but is in a lot of pain, and isn’t actually homophobic or a shrew (but is doing one heck of an imitation)…

    • Miri
      Miri
      August 16, 2018 at 2:14 am | #

      To be absolutely clear: her behaviour has been absolutely toxic and reprehensible, and telling your son he’s a disappointment, accusing his best friend of being such a terrible gf she’s turned him gay… err, literally every time we have seen her – she has acted like an awful parent and person…

      But it would be kinda nifty to see her move to accept her son, and possibly either make the decision to leave Ethan’s dad so they can both move on, or embrace a non-sexual but loving and supportive (possibly discreetly open) marriage.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      August 16, 2018 at 7:53 am | #

      If there was some such catalyst for her actions at Amber’s party, she’s maintained it for the 5 years since. Given that, I’m not sure we need any such immediate trigger.

  27. Dracke
    Dracke
    August 16, 2018 at 2:34 am | #

    So they really don’t know him at all

  28. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    August 16, 2018 at 2:51 am | #

    If Ethan’s gonna pull a Becky on his closet, I hope he’s stocked up on condoms.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      August 16, 2018 at 8:29 am | #

      I don’t think he’s the type to explode his closet. He may remove the lock, so people can come and go as they please.

  29. SpaceshipPilot
    SpaceshipPilot
    August 16, 2018 at 3:29 am | #

    Ethan was right, that IS a neat prosthetic arm. For some reason I can imagine it with a Nerf gun built in.

  30. BenRG
    BenRG
    August 16, 2018 at 4:13 am | #

    I dunno, Ethan. Do you really want to get a reputation as a ‘player’?

    Of course, the temptation is enormous but I think that he would be sacrificing something essential to his nature if he were to be too casual about these things. One of the big errors college-age kids commit is doing things like this just to defy their families and regretting it later.

    • Zaxares
      Zaxares
      August 16, 2018 at 5:21 am | #

      I would say the biggest risk with Ethan is that it’s not what he REALLY wants. As most of us can see, Ethan’s not a “player”. One night stands or even FWB are not going to be emotionally satisfying. He belongs to the category of people (of which I am one too) who only want to have sex with people they are in love with, or at least feel some kind of strong emotional attachment to. As such, trying to make yourself into a free-wheeling gay Lothario will ultimately backfire, leaving you feeling hollow and maybe even self-hating.

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        August 16, 2018 at 7:17 pm | #

        I would be okay if Ethan found out he likes sex but doesn’t want a relationship now.

        Mike or otherwise.

  31. Homer Sexual
    Homer Sexual
    August 16, 2018 at 6:14 am | #

    Will Ethan let it slip that he wants to be with Danny?
    At least that’s what I got from their conversation in Ethan’s room (which Jacob happened to overhear). Or has Ethan given up on that altogether?

    • David Doty
      David Doty
      August 16, 2018 at 8:56 am | #

      I think he THINKS he’s given up altogether. But of course, we all know/desperately hope that just means they’re endgame.

  32. Lone Duck
    Lone Duck
    August 16, 2018 at 7:37 am | #

    Oh, the unpleasant age when you have to lie (or technically tell the truth) to your parents, because you don’t want to end up homeless like Becky was. Poor Ethan.

  33. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    August 16, 2018 at 8:31 am | #

    Nobody serious (Danny)
    who’s available (Jacob).

  34. David Doty
    David Doty
    August 16, 2018 at 8:37 am | #

    Technically, I think technically is the best kind of lie.

  35. C.
    C.
    August 16, 2018 at 9:32 am | #

    Walkypedia rarely updates anymore. I am an admin of Walkypedia and I am reminding the DoA comments community that it still exists and ongoing plot stuff of this strip could use updating there, if anyone is interested. Link is in my URL.

  36. hof1991
    hof1991
    August 16, 2018 at 9:46 am | #

    Someone serious who’s not available is definitely Danny. Will Amber catch that hint or will it sail over her head? They only stopped earlier to avoid hurting her.

    • David Doty
      David Doty
      August 16, 2018 at 10:14 pm | #

      Danny is available in most senses of the word. The only way that he isn’t is the fact that hooking up would have knock-on effects. That seems pretty socially subtle for Amber to pick up on.

  37. Pylgrim
    Pylgrim
    August 16, 2018 at 10:17 am | #

    Is this Mike’s diabolical plan? Being sneakily honest and genuine about his feelings and have Ethan cheat on him, validating all future evil from Mike while Ethan is crippled by guilt?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      August 16, 2018 at 10:23 am | #

      You have to have a relationship before you can cheat.

    • Jenna
      Jenna
      August 16, 2018 at 1:12 pm | #

      Yeah, it kinda seems like Mike’s plan might be to break his OWN heart?

  38. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    August 16, 2018 at 11:54 am | #

    I like that you are finally out of the closet and into a good sexual life, Ethan, but don’t forget to use protection if you are going for casual flings. STDs are still a thing. Also, don’t become like a gay version of Joe. His last sexual encounter was just because Malaya didnt understand the degrading concept of ranking women.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      August 16, 2018 at 2:39 pm | #

      Or because she didn’t understand Sal.

      • C.T Phipps
        C.T Phipps
        August 16, 2018 at 7:16 pm | #

        Or because Malaya didn’t care about Joe’s personality, she just wanted to screw him because he’s hot.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          August 17, 2018 at 9:16 am | #

          Her stated reasons involved the list and getting a better ranking than Sal on it. Though, just to reinforce some of Joe’s earlier comments”, it likely would have been different if he hadn’t been hot.

  39. Ragingagnostic
    Ragingagnostic
    August 16, 2018 at 12:52 pm | #

    Yes, yes, yes. Move on from Spike and get someone worthwhile or just date around until you find somebody you like and care about who isn’t Spike the blank-eyed creep.

  40. JBento
    JBento
    August 16, 2018 at 2:02 pm | #

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK EVERYTHING!!!!

    Sorry, Aretha Franklin has died and I needed to get that off my chest! 8(

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      August 17, 2018 at 8:08 am | #

      What?! Aww. 🙁

  41. Grant
    Grant
    August 16, 2018 at 3:36 pm | #

    if Mike is all-devious, then can he make a Mike plot so diabolical even Mike will get fucked over and forced to confront uncomfortable truths about himself?

    • JBento
      JBento
      August 16, 2018 at 3:55 pm | #

      Mikeception.

    • Sooshi
      Sooshi
      August 16, 2018 at 8:04 pm | #

      Lol!

  42. steelbright
    steelbright
    August 17, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

    Way to go Ethan for saying he’s gonna have a casual relationship and then actually BEING ABLE TO STAY casual

    that shit is hard bro

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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The time has come homies! Let's make this happen!!! 🦖😍
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.makeship.com/petitions/tr... Wanna Tricerahoodie Dina plush? GO PLEDGE FOR ONE! We need 200 people to make it happen! Pledge period will end in 10 days!
header image - Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
www.makeship.com
Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
Dina is so small and quiet that she goes completely unnoticed by most people for long stretches of time. She doesn’t talk much — she prefers to observe. People and how they interact is a puzzle to Din...
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