Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 22, 2026

Quarterback

by David M Willis on July 18, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 04 – Of Mike And Men
└ Tags: amber, brent, ethan, mike

Discussion (154) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 18, 2018 at 12:01 am | #

    Wasn’t there, like, an owl? A really nice one? Superb, even!

    • Catharcissism
      Catharcissism
      July 18, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

      Yes, I believe it ate cereal from a really, really big, indestructible bowl. One might even say that bowl was “Super”.

    • Furie
      Furie
      July 18, 2018 at 4:25 am | #

      https://youtu.be/mFlPxIxmego

  2. Inahc
    Inahc
    July 18, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    Okay, how many conspiracy theories can we generate about the 37? 😉

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      July 18, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

      It’s just Rule 34 after sales taxes are added to it.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      Brent’s shirt is 37, Billie’s shirt is 97. 90 is 30×3. We know Billie’s mother has multiple affairs.

      Brent is Billie’s half-brother from her mother’s third relationship.

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        July 18, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

        Half Life 3 confirmed!

    • CleverTrousers
      CleverTrousers
      July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      What is 6 x 9?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        July 18, 2018 at 2:00 am | #

        That should come out to exactly Ni.ce.

      • Michael
        Michael
        July 18, 2018 at 6:31 pm | #

        54. I don’t get it.

        • Sambo
          Sambo
          July 19, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

          You’re incorrect; the answer is 42.

          • Lieutenant Dan
            Lieutenant Dan
            July 19, 2018 at 6:54 am | #

            …in base 13, of course.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

      From Clerks, right?

      It’s Willis’ way of hinting at what Brent and Mike might be getting up to.

      • DrWattson
        DrWattson
        July 18, 2018 at 1:35 am | #

        In a row?!

        • vlademir1
          vlademir1
          July 18, 2018 at 6:05 am | #

          So long as someone has asked this question I can rest easy at any implication of this number.

      • de Combys
        de Combys
        July 18, 2018 at 1:36 am | #

        Now is it his score or does that mean he’s Mike’s 37th?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        July 18, 2018 at 2:00 am | #

        They’re going to play hockey on the roof?

        • LookingIn
          LookingIn
          July 18, 2018 at 3:54 am | #

          Well a form of hockey anyway 😉

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            July 18, 2018 at 8:25 am | #

            Heh… tonsil hockey…

      • ensiform
        ensiform
        July 18, 2018 at 6:51 am | #

        The Clerks idea is the best one by far.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      July 18, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      He’s an undercover cop who is actually 37 years old. He really thought he’d be found out by now and is ready for another assignment, so he’s started dropping hints.

    • MM
      MM
      July 18, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      It’s how many years of the strip in real time we can expect before we get to summer vacation.

    • Nomothehomo
      Nomothehomo
      July 18, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

      david willis plus 2

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      July 18, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

      It’s actually “LE” upside down. Brent is French!

      • not someone else
        not someone else
        July 18, 2018 at 2:04 am | #

        Or Lawful Evil. Is Brent the one who winds up corrupting Mike fully to the dark side?!

        • Meta
          Meta
          July 18, 2018 at 6:57 am | #

          Ooh, good one.

        • Lingo
          Lingo
          July 18, 2018 at 10:49 pm | #

          But it’s upside down, so does that mean he’s actually Chaotic Good?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 18, 2018 at 1:43 am | #

      Ethan’s saying quarterback but 37 is a number for a defensive back or running back and so my conspiracy theory is that Willis doesn’t know sportsball well.

      …. okay, so that takes about 3 seconds to google and we all know Willis can research his stuff, so it’s Ethan who doesn’t know sportsball, but it’s not like facts or common sense ever get in the way of a conspiracy.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        July 18, 2018 at 1:59 am | #

        …. and retracting that earlier comment, because apparently rules are different for high school.

        New conspiracy theory: I don’t know sportsball well.

        …..

        SHUT UP IT IS TOO A CONSPIRACY YOU’RE IN ON IT AREN’T YOU?

      • LookingIn
        LookingIn
        July 18, 2018 at 3:56 am | #

        rule regarding numbering only applies to the NFL…it’s traditional to wear 1-19 but it isn’t set in stone especially in high schools where you have to play both ways(offense and defense- get your minds out of the gutter!)

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          July 18, 2018 at 11:25 pm | #

          could also be just a jersey, I mean even nonsportsball people wear them

          • Ana Chronistic
            Ana Chronistic
            July 18, 2018 at 11:26 pm | #

            (was gonna dig out my Avalon hockey jersey but I’m too lazy)

    • Blackbird
      Blackbird
      July 18, 2018 at 2:36 am | #

      This is strip #59 of Of Mike and Men
      59 + 37 = 96
      96 backwards is 69
      69 is… well, that one’s self-explanatory
      CONSPIRACY!!

      • Schol-R-LEA
        Schol-R-LEA
        July 18, 2018 at 9:32 am | #

        I’m still waiting for strip #69 of Lawsome!>/i>. I’m guessing it’s gonna be a long wait.

    • rasmodeus
      rasmodeus
      July 18, 2018 at 8:05 am | #

      Brent had moved there from Nebraska, the 37th state.

    • Wraithy2773
      Wraithy2773
      July 18, 2018 at 10:40 am | #

      …it could be a subtle joke to highlight Ethan and Amber’s ignorance.

      Assuming the school team uses the same numbering system as the NFL, not an awful bet, 37 indicates that he’s a Running Back or Defensive Back (#20-49), not a Quarterback (#1-19).

      It’s not a solid system, but given the joke in this strip, might be what Willis is going for :).

    • hoop
      hoop
      July 18, 2018 at 3:30 pm | #

      I got nothin’.

  3. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 18, 2018 at 12:02 am | #

    Backfield In Motion
    I’m gonna have to penalize you baby
    Backfield In Motion
    You know that’s against the rules!

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      July 18, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      And The Jester’s On The Sidelines In A Cast…

  4. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 18, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    I know the word scrimmage!

    It’s when you carve things on shells, right? Not sure what it has to do with football, but they talk about it a lot.

    • woobie
      woobie
      July 18, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

      So that’s what the Line of Scrimshaw is!

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        July 18, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

        I loved The Scrimshaw Redemption- fantastic movie!

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          July 18, 2018 at 6:26 am | #

          And no-one had to get shanked.

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      July 19, 2018 at 10:48 am | #

      I refuse to believe that Ethan doesn’t know the term ‘tight end’, but he probably isn’t willing to admit that right at this point.

  5. Deathjavu
    Deathjavu
    July 18, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Is Amber out of touch with the idea of friends, or are the quotation marks because she knows they’re something more?

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      July 18, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

      The patreon commentary says ‘just guys being pals’ so make of that what you will.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        July 18, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

        “Just guys being bis.”

    • TheStranger
      TheStranger
      July 18, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      Already she’s writing slashfic about her acquaintances.

    • not someone else
      not someone else
      July 18, 2018 at 2:04 am | #

      I think this may be her slash goggles noticing hints that are actually there for once.

  6. tyranidswarm
    tyranidswarm
    July 18, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    I wanna say “field-line” is another football word. Yes? No?

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      July 18, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

      well, they play on a field, and it has lines on it, so… fuck if I know 🙂

    • Norah
      Norah
      July 18, 2018 at 12:43 am | #

      No; but “sidelines” is.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        July 18, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

        oh! “field goal” is a thing, right? and touchdown.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          July 18, 2018 at 2:03 am | #

          Those are both things, yes. But when the ball is on the defenders’ 1-yard line, what you’re supposed to be rooting for is a safety.

          • Tan
            Tan
            July 18, 2018 at 2:45 am | #

            A safety when the ball is on the defenders’ 1-yard line is unlikely (though not impossible) and not what anyone would be hoping for (the offensive team would be hoping for a touchdown, and the defensive team would be hoping for a turnover)

            It is when the ball is on the offense’s 1-yard line that the defense would be hoping for a safety

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              July 18, 2018 at 4:18 am | #

              Yup! But what I really want to see a safety from the defender’s 1-yard line, because you know that would live in legend and blooper rolls FOR-E-VER.

  7. Lilyliv
    Lilyliv
    July 18, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    The last panel is too real.

  8. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Brent has one strong eyebrow game, at least

  9. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Ethan was disappointed when he learned that dressage wasn’t a football word.

  10. butts
    butts
    July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    …why did that panel of them walking away have to be from that angle

    you’re not giving me much to work with here, willis

    • butts
      butts
      July 18, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      …wait never mind that kid’s, like, 15 or whatever

      whoops

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        July 18, 2018 at 8:51 am | #

        You be satisfied with your assortment of Joyce butts.

        • butts
          butts
          July 18, 2018 at 9:35 am | #

          I needs me more butts, mate

          At the very least I need a good Ethan or Jacob

  11. Alexx
    Alexx
    July 18, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    And if you combine the two, you get Quarterback Gatorade, which honestly does sound like a flavor of Gatorade. Anyone try Quarterback? Wait… I don’t wana know.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      July 18, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      I heard in some states if you recycle the bottle, you get up to a quarter back.

      • brionl
        brionl
        July 18, 2018 at 1:07 am | #

        Quarterback is five times better than a Nickleback, right?

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          July 18, 2018 at 2:56 pm | #

          Anything is five time better than Nicklback. Well, except for Twilight and 50 shades, they are both worse.

          • Batman
            Batman
            July 18, 2018 at 11:01 pm | #

            Twilight + 50 shades = nickleback

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              July 19, 2018 at 2:41 pm | #

              Twilight & 50 Shades crossover movie + Nickleback soundtrack=the apocalypse.

        • das-g
          das-g
          July 18, 2018 at 7:46 pm | #

          Silly Americans. Even have crazy units for money. In the SI, clearly Quarterback is five times as muchfar back as Twentiethback.

  12. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    July 18, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    i feel like Ethan and Amber should like football, though. like, a few years ago they were arguing over whether Jimmy Graham was still a tight end or if he’d hooked up with Drew Brees so many times he was now a wide receiver.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      July 18, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      …what

    • MM
      MM
      July 18, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

      Familiarity with RPF slash and sports are two separate things. I mean, half the time, the former involves the players as pirates or coffee shop employees or something else that has nothing to do with their actual jobs.

      • Jon Rich
        Jon Rich
        July 18, 2018 at 1:59 am | #

        RPF?

        • Deadjolras
          Deadjolras
          July 18, 2018 at 3:42 am | #

          Real Person Fic, fanfiction written about actual people.

          • Clif
            Clif
            July 18, 2018 at 1:33 pm | #

            Just down the road from RPF slashfic and lawsuit city.

  13. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 18, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    Guy love, between two guys~

  14. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    July 18, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    Guess Amber doesn’t read Eyeshield 21.

    • Deadjolras
      Deadjolras
      July 18, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      Hiruma is the superior evil blond. It is known.

  15. LeslieBean4Shizzle
    LeslieBean4Shizzle
    July 18, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    Really young Amber and Ethan? You’re counting Gatorade as a sports term? I call foul – Gatorade and its more modern cousin Powerade are delicious ways to stay hydrated any time. Have a cold and need to push fluids? Perfect. Just had to be outside in 90 degree weather for half an hour running errands or doing yard work? Gatorade’s gotcha covered.
    … this comment is not sponsored by either Gatorade or Powerade. And I have made myself thirsty.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      July 18, 2018 at 12:15 am | #

      … just finished “being friends” with someone under the bleachers and need to re-hydrate? Nothing better than Powerade.
      (still not sponsored…)

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      July 18, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      that reminds me, I need some electrolytes right now. 🙂

      • Dean
        Dean
        July 18, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

        Is it the electrolytes that make it taste like battery acid?

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          July 18, 2018 at 12:52 am | #

          probably. it is a bit of an odd taste – part of it is salt.

        • insomniac
          insomniac
          July 18, 2018 at 4:27 am | #

          Electrolytes are WHAT PLANTS CRAVE!

          • vlademir1
            vlademir1
            July 18, 2018 at 6:10 am | #

            As with my post way up near the top about that number, I can rest easy knowing someone said this in response to electrolytes being mentioned.

        • Schol-R-LEA
          Schol-R-LEA
          July 18, 2018 at 9:33 am | #

          They’re what plants crave (not really).

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      July 18, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

      I usually prefer water or pop.

    • woobie
      woobie
      July 18, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

      Powerade is more recent. Not more modern.

    • CJ
      CJ
      July 18, 2018 at 1:44 am | #

      I’d like it more if they left out sugar and sweeteners.
      Over here, Gatorade is very 1980ties, I know we have a sliding timeline, but …?

    • not someone else
      not someone else
      July 18, 2018 at 2:02 am | #

      I was under the impression Powerade was just crappy-tasting neon sugar? Generally when an actual medical person suggests extreme hydration in my presence they specify Gatorade and Only Gatorade (and sometimes Only Original Flavor Gatorade).

      • Pat
        Pat
        July 18, 2018 at 2:25 am | #

        When I was sick as a kid, my doctor specifically told my mother to buy Powerade “because kids usually like it better than Gatorade.”

        I dunno. Maybe they were paying her.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        July 18, 2018 at 2:53 am | #

        Last time I read the ingredients, they were pretty similar. But maybe the recipe is different in other countries, like with coke and mountain dew? (I tried caffeinated mountain dew for the first time recently, and ended up feeling sick and going home early)

        • CJ
          CJ
          July 18, 2018 at 5:28 pm | #

          At least the German versions differ a lot. Both have about the same amount of carbohydrates, though Gartorade somehow only counts parts of it a sugar.
          Gatorade has lots of phosphates and uses sucralose and Acesulfam as sweeteners, Powerade uses Aspertam instead of Sucralose.
          (As I said, if they left out the sweeteners, it might be drinkable).

          • Inahc
            Inahc
            July 18, 2018 at 5:51 pm | #

            Oh, eew. I don’t think the Canadian version uses artificial sweeteners.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      July 18, 2018 at 10:40 am | #

      Gatorade – designed for the University (sic) of Florida football team. Later popularized, but named for the Floridah Gators.

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        July 18, 2018 at 4:05 pm | #

        Oddly enough, in Florida there is, or at least used to be, a rival sportball drink called 10-K or Ten-K, which had endorsements from most of the NCAA school head coaches from when I was in school (Bobby Bowden, Steve Spurrier, et al).

  16. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    July 18, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

    I think when puberty hits, Ethan’s just going to pop his head off of the balljoint and attach it to his new, swole body.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      July 18, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

      So like a Titan Master/Headmaster?

  17. Wright
    Wright
    July 18, 2018 at 12:23 am | #

    Baby Amber is adorable.

    And now I’m secretly wishing that Willis writes a spin-off comic similar to Muppet Babies. It can be called, I dunno, “Dumb Babies.” Galasso can play Nanny.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      July 18, 2018 at 12:45 am | #

      Would that make this football player Baby Brent? Uh oh! A baby shouldn’t be playing such games, they’d be much better as a mascot.

  18. Tacos
    Tacos
    July 18, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

    The only important word you need to know for this sport is “hand-egg.”

  19. Yumi
    Yumi
    July 18, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

    My favorite football term is “moral victory.” As in, “It was a moral victory for the Detroit Lions.”
    My mom says that a lot during football season.

  20. Keulen
    Keulen
    July 18, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

    I guess Ethan learned the football term “tight end” sometime later.

  21. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    July 18, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

    Let’s see….

    * 37 is a prime number.

    * three times 37 makes 111, the Number of God, which indicates the Holy Trinity. Brent is one third of the Trinity, i.e. one of the persons of the Godhead.

    * in the movie “Rain Man”, one of Dustin Hoffman’s character’s lines was “Thirty-seven. Thirty-seven. Thirty-seven.” This revealed that he was a lightning calculator. So probably Brent is too.

    • Usayasha
      Usayasha
      July 18, 2018 at 3:50 am | #

      Okay but does Theory #2 make Brent the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost?
      His age would indicate he’s the Son, but then again Danny Phantom was just 14 so being a ghost boy isn’t too out there.

  22. Tawdry Quirks
    Tawdry Quirks
    July 18, 2018 at 12:53 am | #

    Wait, Amber would know another sportsball-related word: Tailgate.

  23. Felgraf
    Felgraf
    July 18, 2018 at 1:31 am | #

    Wait that looks like one of Ramona’s evil ex-boyfriends.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      July 18, 2018 at 1:41 am | #

      Give or take a 7. And his name does resemble “Brandon Routh”.

  24. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 18, 2018 at 1:40 am | #

    Huh I just drank Gatorade before reading this. Happy coincidence.

  25. stoodmuffin
    stoodmuffin
    July 18, 2018 at 1:46 am | #

    Jesus

  26. C.
    C.
    July 18, 2018 at 1:50 am | #

    Is 37 an actual number Quarterbacks would use?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 18, 2018 at 1:56 am | #

      No. Quarterback numbers top out at 19.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        July 18, 2018 at 1:58 am | #

        Actually, wait, with a bit more googling it turns out that’s NFL-only, and college and high school follow different rules. So, yes, 37 could be a quarterback.

        • Matticus
          Matticus
          July 18, 2018 at 1:22 pm | #

          Yeah, in elementary- and middle-school flag football you just kind of pick a jersey in your size, and the number doesn’t really matter.

          • Clif
            Clif
            July 18, 2018 at 2:13 pm | #

            Neither does whether it really fits or not.

            • Matticus
              Matticus
              July 18, 2018 at 3:08 pm | #

              Yup, with things usually erring on the side of “too big.”

  27. Benet
    Benet
    July 18, 2018 at 2:28 am | #

    I know some football terms too! 😀

    Handball
    Offside
    Penalty shoot out
    The ref needs glasses

    • NickG
      NickG
      July 18, 2018 at 6:01 am | #

      Don’t forget ‘Who’s the bastard in the black”

    • Rowen Morland
      Rowen Morland
      July 18, 2018 at 11:57 pm | #

      Leg before wicket.

  28. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 18, 2018 at 2:52 am | #

    As someone who is entirely sport-atheistic, I say that Ethan and Amber should embrace their lack of understanding and interest of both sports and the associated social climbing.

  29. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    July 18, 2018 at 3:07 am | #

    Golden boys.

  30. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    July 18, 2018 at 3:40 am | #

    Which one will be the “first down”, do you think?

  31. Ainara
    Ainara
    July 18, 2018 at 3:40 am | #

    Turns out that guy isn’t a quarterback, he’s just some buff kid who likes wearing sports shirts.

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      July 18, 2018 at 12:31 pm | #

      Mike leaves after that revelation. “Sorry, but I need a good future, and working on a toy store isn’t an option.”

  32. BassBone
    BassBone
    July 18, 2018 at 3:54 am | #

    In a row?!

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      July 18, 2018 at 4:29 am | #

      I understood that reference.

  33. smarterfarter
    smarterfarter
    July 18, 2018 at 4:05 am | #

    If his number is really 37, he is not a quarterback. If he is a quarterback, his number will be between 1 and 19. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniform_number_(American_football)

  34. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    July 18, 2018 at 5:35 am | #

    37 is the age I will be in November. Coincidence? I think not!

  35. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 18, 2018 at 5:38 am | #

    Mike and Brent have matching haircuts. I approve.

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      July 18, 2018 at 6:17 am | #

      They’re good haircuts Brant and Mike have. 😀

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      July 18, 2018 at 6:35 am | #

      Jock Hair x Two-Dimensional Hair is my new favorite ship!

  36. David Doty
    David Doty
    July 18, 2018 at 8:27 am | #

    Ugh. I figured the hovertext had to be a lie, and I wound up learning about Rule 37 Damn you, Willis!

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 18, 2018 at 1:58 pm | #

      Willis failed to disclose the conspiracy, a clear violation of rule 37. Even Amber is a violation.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 18, 2018 at 2:08 pm | #

        To save people the trouble of looking it up, there are multiple rule 37s. One of them relates to disclosure during discovery; one is basically that you can come up with a lame conspiracy theory for anything. And a final one is that everyone on the Internet is a guy. Which seems weirdly appropriate given the chapter title.

        • David Doty
          David Doty
          July 18, 2018 at 10:09 pm | #

          That’s actually better than the Rule 37 I found. The page I located claimed it was “There are no girls on the Internet. Ever.”

  37. David Doty
    David Doty
    July 18, 2018 at 8:40 am | #

    And technically, “football” is a football related term.

  38. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    July 18, 2018 at 8:56 am | #

    Last panel reminds me of when Walky and Becky met, and the bit about how there’s really only one fart joke.

  39. Scott
    Scott
    July 18, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

    Given the #37 on that guys chest, that would mean he is either a Running back or a Defensive back. Quarterbacks are 1-19

    • Matticus
      Matticus
      July 18, 2018 at 1:19 pm | #

      That might be less of an issue at the middle school level. If I remember my tenure in flag football correctly (which I probably don’t), you kind of just pick whatever number you want from whichever jerseys fit you. I remember always going after #50 because my cousin was #50 on the high school team, even though I played a lineman.*

      *Linebackers are traditionally numbered in the 50s, though that isn’t a hard-set rule now. Offensive linemen tend to be in the 60s or 70s, and defensive linemen are usually 90s.

  40. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    July 18, 2018 at 11:05 am | #

    So, will Mike have sex with his mom?

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      July 18, 2018 at 12:29 pm | #

      For a nickel.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 18, 2018 at 2:09 pm | #

        Afterwards, sure.

  41. MutantSentry
    MutantSentry
    July 18, 2018 at 11:09 am | #

    In the Illuminatus! Trilogy the number 5 lies at the heart of all conspiracies. 3+7 is 10, which is two fives. Brett’s parents are both high level members of the Illuminati.

  42. Rachel
    Rachel
    July 18, 2018 at 12:27 pm | #

    Ok I can’t quite put my finger on why, but Brent looks eerily like Ryan to me…. -shivers-

  43. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    July 18, 2018 at 12:29 pm | #

    Amber already knows about gay shipping, so she is more aware than Ethan in this moment of time.

  44. ARoseJess
    ARoseJess
    July 18, 2018 at 12:44 pm | #

    I can relate to the whole football thing…I’ve accidentally picked up slightly more than they have, but on the whole it baffles me. I did however pick up a top…more for yard work than anything else, and it was emblazoned with the logo of a pro football team… You have no idea how many conversations that started… and how mostly unwelcome they were…it was a poor choice sartorially. Football fans are weird.

  45. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    July 18, 2018 at 1:03 pm | #

    My two football related words are “centre-forward” and “offside”.

    And yes, despite caring about neither sport, I have Opinions on what “football” without any modifiers should mean.

    • Khno
      Khno
      July 18, 2018 at 7:24 pm | #

      my football related terms are numerous because I am so cultured:
      ball / shoe / helmet / jersey / grass / foot / hand / running

  46. ARoseJess
    ARoseJess
    July 18, 2018 at 1:33 pm | #

    Don’t worry I meant that to apply to any/all forms of football. 😉 Not just American. Because I’ve had this “argument” without caring anything about the various types and balls involved…I usually just lump it all into “Sportball” meaning having some sort of competition involving a ball, that will at some point either involve someone telling me how great it is, how great they were at playing it or what I should be thinking about a given team. 😉 There other sports that do not involve a ball, which also fall under my sportball umbrella. 🙂 I do not mind sportball, some could be fun, if one wanted to engage in that…but I really have no desire to be a sportball fan. I do not think less of others for being participants or fans, I just have no passion for it.

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 18, 2018 at 1:43 pm | #

      You unspeakable villain, how dare you scorn the basis of civilized society.

      Back in the day, I always kept a couple of long set pieces on chess I could launch into in retaliation.

  47. Dana
    Dana
    July 18, 2018 at 2:57 pm | #

    Insert American football/association football joke.

    • Dana
      Dana
      July 18, 2018 at 2:58 pm | #

      That was barely going to be a good comment when it was a properly placed reply. Never mind.

  48. Smooti
    Smooti
    July 18, 2018 at 6:12 pm | #

    My theory right now is Mike is trying to make Ethan jealous, as he has a crush on Ethan, but Ethan isn’t aware of his own feelings since. Yknow. Gonna be in the closet until prom night.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
RIP Peter David, known for writing the Transformers Dark of the Moon novelization
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
the full experience of being Gen X, condensed
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
aww she takes after her dad
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
hrm, being radicalized on Twitter has the opposite connotation now
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4h
Dina!
Dina's in a blue hoodie!  over a long white t-shirt and some bluejeans

and the dino hat, but expect that as a default
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
and every single time she was disappointed
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
*weighs self* *poops* *weighs self again* HOW DO I WEIGH MORE
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
man what the fuck is going on at taco fest
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reposted by David M Willis!
thepeterkelly.bsky.social's user avatar
Peter Kelly @thepeterkelly.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dear Mr. Clegg I have started a business, selling the contents of your house I knew when I launched I did not have legal access your house Without this access my company will not be profitable Others have told me I have a flawed business model, but I disagree Please advise how I should proceed
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thomsongraham.bsky.social's user avatar
Graham Thomson @thomsongraham.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
Here are some neat “Deluxe Class” Transformers from the Beast Wars/Machines era.
Transformers Beast Wars Tarantulas, Transmetal Cheetor, Fuzor Silverbolt, and Beast Machines Jetstorm toys in their robot modes.
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reposted by David M Willis!
ketanjoshi.co's user avatar
Ketan Joshi @ketanjoshi.co ⋅ 1d
I am begging for a Hollywood movie or TV writer to make something that features realistic 'artificial intelligence'
A four panel meme, featuring John Connor talking to The Terminator, from Terminator 2 

John: Wait a second, you’re saying you’re from the future?

Terminator: Great question! Thanks so much for asking. Let’s think about the answer…hmm! The current year is 1983. Working backwards logically, I’m from the year 1965, which is 300 years in the future. Anything else you’d like to know?

John - stares blankly

Terminator: I’m sorry, I can see that was not the right answer. I actually came from the year 829392 AD, which is 10 years in the past from this year, which is 3
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 15h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned amos is turned on by edda just waving her body limply around like she's an inflatable tube man you'd see in front of a car dealership
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
...look, if you want to kill a goldfish, just... overfeed it, you don't have to EAT IT. you messy bench
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
Dumbing of Age: "Salacious sex goss" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Salacious sex goss
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
jocelyne and carla are tied at 47 votes for bonus strip
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
I wonder if they sell these outside Columbus.
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richterscale.bsky.social's user avatar
Charles Louis Richter @richterscale.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
In an adaptation of the NYT diagram in the quoted skeet, a diagram showing Jeffrey Dahmer
krogerfoot.bsky.social's user avatarok city ok @krogerfoot.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Hard-hitting analysis from NYT. As you can see from the diagram, legal impediments are a weak gray box that can be defeated by a strong orange arrow and bold typeface Gift article (but it’s bad) www.nytimes.com/interactive/...
NYT: “In Firing Watchdogs, Trump Sidesteps Laws and Moves to Expand Power, By Elena Shao May 22, 2025
President Trump summarily dismissed more than a dozen members of independent oversight bodies during his first two months in office, defying typical procedures and federal laws that say presidents cannot remove certain officials without good cause, like misconduct or neglect.”A diagram shows Trump’s head on the left and symbols denoting nine federal agencies on the right, connected by a faint gray arrow going through a text box reading “Should issue notice citing cause for firing.”
An orange arrow makes 90-degree turns to go up, over, and down the other side of the gray box, captioned “Sidestepping typical procedures,” as if the whole thing was a diagram of a football play.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
SS86 Scrapper may not have a waist rotational joint, but he does have a sassy hip sway.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
i've had this siege astrotrain sitting around for weeks to be ebayed but as soon as i give up and sell it, i just know i'll find that missing rifle it's somewhere in the house it's just gotta be
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paperbackparadise.bsky.social's user avatar
Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Postcards are on sale for the next week 🌊 $8 for 10 ☀️ $30 for 40 🫡 have a great Memorial Day weekend shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/category/pos...
Photo of a postcard of the paperback paradise cover BEACH HUMPER, which features a man gasping for air on the beach but it looks like he crushing that sand
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
i'm PRETTY sure the days of pb&js is right now, actually, if you wanted, especially if you're in a goddamn grocery store
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aidanis.fun's user avatar
Aidan Moher @aidanis.fun ⋅ 1d
There’s been a murder.
joolia.bsky.social's user avatarJulia Carrie Wong @joolia.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
welp I sent an email
Hi Tripp,
I'm a reporter with the Guardian US, based in New York. I hope this finds you well.
I'm reaching out about your most recent article and its inclusion of the claim,
Incidentally, how are you defining
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schillingc.bsky.social's user avatar
Chris Schilling @schillingc.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Headline - Nick Clegg: Artists’ demands over copyright are unworkable 
Strap - The former Meta executive claims that a law requiring tech companies to ask permission to train AI on copyrighted work would ‘kill’ the industry
“Then die”
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technicolorpie.bsky.social's user avatar
Pie @technicolorpie.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
there has to be a better way to phrase a going out of business sale
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
07 ONE WAVE 2
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kendrawcandraw.bsky.social's user avatar
Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
My friend Amena is struggling to take care of her children in Gaza. Please consider contributing to her Chuffed fund so she can feed her family and keep them safe chuffed.org/project/1230...
Help Amena's family start over and get medical attention
$16,437 Raised of $50,000

By Amena Baba

I am Amena, a mother of four children. We survived a merciless war, but we lost everything.
My home was completely destroyed, and I lost loved ones that nothing can replace. My daughter suffers from health problems that require continuous treatment. Life in Gaza has become almost impossible, and with the scarcity of resources and the rise in prices, it has become difficult to secure the basic needs of my children.
I decided to start over, but I need your help.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Black Series Mon Mothma is definitely not sculpted for frenzied dancing.
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northerniion.bsky.social's user avatar
addams family stan account 🫃 (librarian) @northerniion.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
this is 10x more impressive than a strike
video thumbnail
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
www.ebay.com/itm/23611085... this auction ends in 5 hours and it's going for... 99 cents! a real bargain
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Me: it's Saturday! Kids soccer season is over! I can sleep in as long as I want! *wakes up before the alarm is usually set to go off*
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