Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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malaya how even does your mind work
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September 20, 2023

Told me

by David M Willis on July 30, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Vote for Robin

└ Tags: malaya, marcie

Discussion (133) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 30, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    Little does Malaya realise that doing the exact opposite of someone else is STILL letting someone else dictate your actions!

    • Lumino
      Lumino
      July 30, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

      I hate you because this comment is both a joke AND completely true.

    • Chronos
      Chronos
      July 30, 2019 at 12:45 am | #

      I’m truly amazed at how few people seem to grasp that.

      • David
        David
        July 30, 2019 at 5:24 pm | #

        What kind of superiority is there in letting your actions be governed by randomness? You might as well pretend to do something out of spite and lull your opponent into a false feeling of superiority. And this exploratory move is particularly great: however it turns out, Malaya gets to rub Sal’s nose in something.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          July 30, 2019 at 11:45 pm | #

          True superiority would be letting your actions be governed by research and smart decisions, acknowledging that the other person has almost nothing to do with the best choices for you

          Though Marcie’s hoping Malaya will finally let her rub HER nose in something…

          • Chronos
            Chronos
            July 31, 2019 at 4:39 am | #

            This was *actually* what I was supporting. Being governed by randomness is about as dumb as being governed by contrariness.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 30, 2019 at 12:50 am | #

      AKA Hipster Logic™

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 30, 2019 at 1:51 am | #

      Malaya’s a gold medalist in mental gymnastics.

      • Abbefaria
        Abbefaria
        July 30, 2019 at 3:00 am | #

        Cartmen logic

  2. jeffepp
    jeffepp
    July 30, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    Daw…

  3. butts
    butts
    July 30, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    it’s double reverse backwards rebellion

    • Clif
      Clif
      July 30, 2019 at 2:13 am | #

      I’m going to do what Sal really wants me to do just to spite her IS kind of awesome in it’s own way.

      But Marcie, don’t go to bed with crazy. It’s never worth it in the long run.

      • ego
        ego
        July 30, 2019 at 11:50 pm | #

        in the long run, we’re all dead. most kinds of crazy aren’t really _mean_. so go on, smash it.

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        August 3, 2019 at 10:17 am | #

        Malaya is progressing! She can now choose the level of meta she is spiting someone in, so whatever she does, it’s spiting anyone she chooses to SOMEHOW. GOD MODE

  4. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 30, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    If all your friends (sic) didn’t jump off a cliff, Malaya…

  5. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    July 30, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    I… uh… fuck it, whatever works.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 30, 2019 at 1:08 am | #

      <- Marcie's thoughts exactly

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 30, 2019 at 2:14 am | #

        Fraid so.

  6. AntJ
    AntJ
    July 30, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    is anyone other than Danny allowed to get dumped on those steps

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      July 30, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

      I’m sure it’s a traditional dumping ground.

      • Lacuna
        Lacuna
        July 30, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

        And sometimes relationships end there too!

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          July 30, 2019 at 12:35 am | #

          Ten points from Hufflepuff.

          • Sunny
            Sunny
            July 30, 2019 at 4:04 am | #

            Malaya as a ‘Puff… Yeah, I can see it.

          • He Who Abides
            He Who Abides
            July 30, 2019 at 4:54 am | #

            50 points to Hufflepuff.

    • Someone
      Someone
      July 30, 2019 at 10:26 am | #

      Who says this ISN’T about to be a dumping? Or at least a ‘gently letdown’ at any rate.

      • FacelessDeviant
        FacelessDeviant
        July 30, 2019 at 10:41 am | #

        If so, I’d say that the hand contact is misleading.

        • NelC
          NelC
          July 30, 2019 at 12:01 pm | #

          I dunno, I once did a handhold as part of a “It’s not me, it’s you” dump.

          (Actually a typo, I meant to write it the other way around, but it still kinda sorta fits.)

  7. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    July 30, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Ah, the old reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse psychology trick.

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      July 30, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      Missed it, by that much.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        July 30, 2019 at 8:26 am | #

        IUnderstoodThatReference.gif

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          July 30, 2019 at 8:33 am | #

          Also that alt.text

    • CrazyJ
      CrazyJ
      July 30, 2019 at 12:29 am | #

      Did you just get here? I knew you knew I knew all along, all along, all along.

      • Mordecai
        Mordecai
        July 30, 2019 at 1:03 am | #

        Looks like we got a REEEAL Mexican Standoff here, boys!

        • MatthewTheLucky
          MatthewTheLucky
          July 30, 2019 at 1:28 am | #

          Woo! All this talk of double cross is making me hungry! For a slice of blueberry pie!

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          July 30, 2019 at 4:42 pm | #

          Huh? Neither one of them is Mexican.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 30, 2019 at 8:51 am | #

        “I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. We’re a knowledgeable family.”

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 30, 2019 at 12:49 am | #

      “I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.”

      • Blanche Quizno
        Blanche Quizno
        July 30, 2019 at 1:43 am | #

        “The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!”

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          July 30, 2019 at 1:57 am | #

          But what about the flagon with the dragon?

          • Agemegos
            Agemegos
            July 30, 2019 at 2:14 am | #

            The piece without the parsley is the piece without the poison.

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        July 30, 2019 at 6:38 am | #

        “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”

      • David
        David
        July 30, 2019 at 5:32 pm | #

        I like Hercule Poirot’s approach when he decided to drug the evil mastermind in a case he decided to conclude unorthodoxically: he just laced every possible choice with a sedative he had acquired some tolerance level to over years of use and disposed of him while he could still stay awake.

  8. Nono
    Nono
    July 30, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Man, those steps are *popular*.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 30, 2019 at 1:20 am | #

      Are you, are you
      Sitting on the stairs,
      They say dreams were dashed here,
      Beaus caught unawares

      Sad things have happened here,
      Just say a couple prayers
      If we meet together
      On the Dumping Stairs

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 30, 2019 at 4:43 pm | #

      Well yea, you hang out on the other steps, you get stabbed.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 30, 2019 at 5:12 pm | #

        Point.

  9. Lacuna
    Lacuna
    July 30, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Pixar’s next film: Inside Out 2, except we’re in Malaya’s head and the emotions are just as confused as we are.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 30, 2019 at 2:00 am | #

      They’re all on pommel horses and the uneven bars, or doing endless floor routines.

      Except Nice. Nice is locked in the broom closet, bruised and sobbing.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      July 31, 2019 at 9:04 am | #

      4 versions of Spite, 1horniness, dash of gender confusion.

  10. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    July 30, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    “malaya how even does your mind work”

    It doesn’t. Next question?

  11. Dave Van Domelen
    Dave Van Domelen
    July 30, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    I remain unconvinced her mind works.

  12. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 30, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    *plays The Monkees’ “You Told Me” on the hacked P.A. speakers*

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      July 30, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

      Know it by heart you say? Prove it!

  13. Yumi
    Yumi
    July 30, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    I don’t like Malaya, so I don’t fully understand why I want this to happen, but I do, soooo…

    • Dana
      Dana
      July 30, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

      It’s because Marcie is so cute when she gets what she wants!

      • rustfire
        rustfire
        July 30, 2019 at 10:22 am | #

        >5 years ago

        It’s crazy to me that different parts of Dumbing of Age mark completely different points in my life

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      July 30, 2019 at 2:33 am | #

      I want this to happen for Marcie’s sake, not for Malaya.

    • geno
      geno
      July 30, 2019 at 11:04 am | #

      See I don’t want it to happen, because Malaya isn’t a great gf for anyone other than maybe Carla who enjoys the jerkiness.

  14. CMasta
    CMasta
    July 30, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    I could start groaning at the nanosecond of the birth of this universe and continue to the present day and it would still only be a fraction of my disgust at this turn of events

    • brute
      brute
      July 30, 2019 at 12:41 am | #

      i want to like this comment so badly

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      July 30, 2019 at 8:28 am | #

      What are you, Marvin the paranoid android?

    • geno
      geno
      July 30, 2019 at 11:06 am | #

      Yup yup. Marcie deserves much better. Someone introduce her to the cute newspaper girl

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        July 30, 2019 at 4:29 pm | #

        Could be fun, though Marcie has said she has a type.

        Kinda sad thing is, it’s still better than Les’s type has been demonstrated to be at this point.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          July 31, 2019 at 9:07 am | #

          D’oh!

          You insult with the pointed truth.

  15. Tacos
    Tacos
    July 30, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

    I feel like I’d just get a headache trying to figure out how Malaya’s mind works.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 30, 2019 at 1:07 am | #

      Then imagine what Sal feels?

    • Wizard
      Wizard
      July 30, 2019 at 8:18 am | #

      I’m filing the workings of Malaya’s mind under “things humanity was not meant to know”.

  16. TerribleName
    TerribleName
    July 30, 2019 at 12:20 am | #

    Even in an otherwise touching moment, Malaya remains one of the worst characters

  17. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 30, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

    Hey, whatever reason works. I want this conversation. <3

    I needed this after tonight.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 30, 2019 at 2:04 am | #

      oh no :c

      Sympathy through light virtual contact? Appropriate gesture of support*?

      (I always picture this as Obi-Wan’s mind trick hand wave.)

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        July 30, 2019 at 2:58 am | #

        It’s nothing that bad, just saw something stressful. I’m fine. Thank you for your concern. <3

        Also, that Obi-Wan image is delightful.

  18. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 30, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

    A great victory for reverse-reverse psychology!

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      July 30, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

      …but isn’t that just what she wants you to think?

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        July 30, 2019 at 1:07 am | #

        DANGIT!

  19. Zatar
    Zatar
    July 30, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

    I love how Malaya has to describe even advice that she does follow in the most petty terms possible.

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      July 30, 2019 at 7:35 pm | #

      Malaya is gender confused and spiteful. So when she does good things for bad reasons, we hate her anyway.

      • Zatar
        Zatar
        July 30, 2019 at 11:21 pm | #

        This is definitely not a statement of hate.

  20. Dana
    Dana
    July 30, 2019 at 12:26 am | #

    Sal’s not the boss of me, so I guess we have to do it now.

  21. BarerMender
    BarerMender
    July 30, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

    Wait. Does she mean Sal told her not to do it, or does she mean Sal told her to do it but she’s copped wise and is doing it anyway?

    • Miri
      Miri
      July 30, 2019 at 12:58 am | #

      Sal told her that Marcie likes her and asked if there was any chance of it happening.

      Malaya has worked out that Sal had been using reverse psychology on her earlier on so she’s saying Sal told her to do it, to stop her from doing it, but she’s doing it anyway. Sal was actually having a straightforward, direct conversation with her at that point…

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        July 30, 2019 at 1:08 am | #

        Yeah, that’s what I thought.

      • Anon
        Anon
        July 30, 2019 at 2:51 am | #

        Yeah except I bet that Malaya decided she does actually want this with Marcie, and all that is the explanation she gives herself/others to cover up that she has actual feels and pretend it is totes consistent with her rebellion against Sal and the world.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          July 30, 2019 at 2:59 am | #

          Pretty much this. Malaya’s kinda a knee jerk contrarian.

  22. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    July 30, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

    And then everybody fucked. >:(

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      July 30, 2019 at 8:30 am | #

      YellingBird.gif

  23. brumagem
    brumagem
    July 30, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

    God dammit, Malaya

  24. PB
    PB
    July 30, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

    Briar patches are cozy this time of year, so I hear.

  25. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 30, 2019 at 12:40 am | #

    I imagine Malaya’s mind is a warped funhouse mirror.

    • David
      David
      July 30, 2019 at 5:38 pm | #

      And this warped funhouse features Chuckie.

  26. Jamie
    Jamie
    July 30, 2019 at 12:42 am | #

    Malaya is like one of those AIs that you can paralyze with a logic paradox, isn’t she?

    • oh no
      oh no
      July 30, 2019 at 1:07 am | #

      This sentence is a lie.

      • Tyler Durham
        Tyler Durham
        July 30, 2019 at 5:33 am | #

        Don’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutit.

        • Michelle J. Caboose
          Michelle J. Caboose
          July 31, 2019 at 1:24 am | #

          Ummm… True.

          This is easy!

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      July 30, 2019 at 6:13 am | #

      Norman, coordinate…

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      July 30, 2019 at 4:08 pm | #

      Message: “Message two follows.”

      Message two: “Ignore message one.”

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 30, 2019 at 4:36 pm | #

      Are you saying this is just a cheesy Star Trek episode?

  27. Risky
    Risky
    July 30, 2019 at 12:49 am | #

    She’s not actually saying this to Marcie, unless Marcie is really good at reading the backs of people’s heads.

    • Miri
      Miri
      July 30, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

      Marcie isn’t deaf, she’s mute as a result of a horrific throat injury she couldn’t afford surgery for…

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      July 30, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

      Marcie can hear.

  28. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    July 30, 2019 at 12:52 am | #

    Malaya’s brain is so twisted that she would do something counter intuitive just to “show off” to those that are trying to help her.

  29. BarerMender
    BarerMender
    July 30, 2019 at 12:55 am | #

    I’m in favor of this ship. I have a notion Malaya has never had any love in her life, and that ain’t right. Some love will do her good.

    • geno
      geno
      July 30, 2019 at 11:09 am | #

      You can give jerks all the love in the world, and it won’t change them. They gotta find a reason to change themselves

  30. All-Purpose Guru
    All-Purpose Guru
    July 30, 2019 at 1:25 am | #

    I think the thing that bugs me so much about Malaya is she has just a completely fucked up personality.

    I’d like to ship it; I can’t ship it. Fuckin’ is ok, but I don’t want Marcie getting hurt.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 30, 2019 at 2:52 am | #

      It would be a well-used cliché if being with Marcie helped Malaya find some balance in her life. The question that Willis obviously would have had to address when plotting this arc would be: Is it a good enough well-used cliché to put in the story?

  31. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    July 30, 2019 at 1:26 am | #

    Amber, Sal, and Walky
    (zzzzt)
    Now we’re at Galasso’s, with Ruth, Billy, Jason, and Sydny Yus
    (zzzzt)
    Cut to Marcie and Malaya outside Read Hall

    All hail Willis, maestro extraordinaire of the smash cut!!

    • Juanoku
      Juanoku
      July 30, 2019 at 8:31 am | #

      Keep you hooked and crying 24/7

      • Spriteless Girl
        Spriteless Girl
        July 30, 2019 at 4:43 pm | #

        No just a few minutes/7

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 30, 2019 at 4:37 pm | #

      Getting whiplash yet?

  32. Torra
    Torra
    July 30, 2019 at 1:43 am | #

    Yo, I don’t think she’s here to ask her out guys I’m pretty sure she’s here to let her down gently and tell Marcie about her gender identity issues she’s been mulling over. I mean, these ARE the breakup steps

    • Blanche Quizno
      Blanche Quizno
      July 30, 2019 at 1:46 am | #

      THAT’s what I want to hear about! Shine a little light on the inside of Malaya’s psyche for once!

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      July 30, 2019 at 3:00 am | #

      Either way, I wanna see this convo!

  33. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 30, 2019 at 1:58 am | #

    I’m trying to work out if Malaya’s story is the excuse she’s telling to maintain face or whether her motivations really are that tangled up in her head!

    Marcie, seriously, this one is a train crash; more so than Sal, which is a pretty amazing thing when you think about it. Are you really sure that you want to make the investment, emotionally and mentally, that being in a relationship with her will demand?

    • Shane Wegner
      Shane Wegner
      July 30, 2019 at 4:12 am | #

      Even a couple bonings could provide happy memories for future playback.

  34. FacelessDeviant
    FacelessDeviant
    July 30, 2019 at 3:28 am | #

    So Sal now basically has the cheat codes to Malayas head.

    I am sure she’ll be a wise and noble ruler.

  35. Shane Wegner
    Shane Wegner
    July 30, 2019 at 4:17 am | #

    Side observation–Marcie went out there for a good long time to think or just feel sad, and either Malaya is observant enough to realize this, or much more likely, Sal knew Marcie well enough and told Malaya what “not” to do.

  36. Lone Duck
    Lone Duck
    July 30, 2019 at 4:25 am | #

    … Is Malaya actually a tsundere?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 30, 2019 at 7:04 am | #

      It’s beginning to seem that way, isn’t it? It all depends on whether or not she actually is crushing on Sal!

  37. Iain
    Iain
    July 30, 2019 at 6:28 am | #

    Malaya’s so great.

  38. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    July 30, 2019 at 7:14 am | #

    Aww. How sweet! But I don’t know … the fact that the very insecure Malaya needs to pull Sal in the middle of everything, is it comical or creepy?

    • Cedrick
      Cedrick
      July 30, 2019 at 8:30 am | #

      comically creepy?

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 30, 2019 at 4:38 pm | #

      Creepily comical?

    • Michelle J. Caboose
      Michelle J. Caboose
      July 31, 2019 at 1:26 am | #

      Creepical!

  39. Zero
    Zero
    July 30, 2019 at 9:11 am | #

    I feel as if Malaya could be easily tricked so long as you tell her not to do something….
    Hey, remember that comment section where everyone told Sal not to do things after she was told not to pull the Fire Alarm and said now she wants to do it? Lets apply that to Malaya and see if it works.

  40. hof1991
    hof1991
    July 30, 2019 at 10:41 am | #

    Unsure if this is what Marcie wants any more. The revelation of her long time crush on Sal, her too obvious thirst for Malaya, her fleeing the scene.

    But I want Marcie to have something she wants, since she almost never gets anything nice. Crappy job, crappy roommates in a crappy apartment, dismal future prospects, especially compared to the college kids she is marginally involved with. Her situation is so fragile – so DWY give her something she wants.

    • Corey
      Corey
      July 30, 2019 at 12:47 pm | #

      Im pretty sure Marcie doesnt know what Marcie wants anymore either

  41. Pocky
    Pocky
    July 30, 2019 at 11:45 am | #

    what is free will?

  42. RiverDelta
    RiverDelta
    July 30, 2019 at 11:45 am | #

    Personally, I’m more excited to see Malaya figure out her gender identity as opposed to the Malaya/Marcie ship.

  43. Valis_KR3
    Valis_KR3
    July 30, 2019 at 1:59 pm | #

    Being a lesbian out of spite doesn’t work.

    • Aubrey
      Aubrey
      July 30, 2019 at 5:09 pm | #

      Depending on how things go, lesbian spite might not even be a factor here.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 30, 2019 at 5:20 pm | #

        Lesbianship for spite sounds at least as good a basis for a romantic relationship as mutual suicide pact.

    • David
      David
      July 30, 2019 at 5:49 pm | #

      When in college tutor course, I met one mechanical engineering student (who had worked as a bike mechanic previously) who related that she decided to turn lesbian since she was tired of men whose egos would not stand for a woman much more competent to keep stuff working in the household than they were. Her partner was also in the course and they seemed pretty happy with one another.

      Now that sounded more like being a lesbian out of exasperation rather than spite, but it seems somewhat related and at least for the time being appeared to turn out pretty well.

      Now while I considered the related insecurity of my co-members of the unfair sex ridiculous, I haven’t really been in a similar position myself and may underestimate the toll it would take on my self-confidence (though I’d guess that my laziness would prevail anyway).

  44. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    July 31, 2019 at 4:52 pm | #

    alt text : it’s simple : it does not

  45. Kim
    Kim
    July 31, 2019 at 5:00 pm | #

    So cute. I already loved Malaya, but this strip really solidifies her place in my heart ^^

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