Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 1, 2026

Distance

by David M Willis on June 8, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 05 - Media Rumble
└ Tags: danny, dorothy

Discussion (178) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    June 8, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    SHIT IS RIGHT

    WOO BOOBIES

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      July 20, 2013 at 5:30 pm | #

      Boobies and glasses!

  2. Merco
    Merco
    June 8, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    NOTHING can clear Danny’s head…

    except maybe a punch to the FAAAAAAAAACE

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 8, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

      For a nickel. Hey, getting paid to punch someone is relaxing, you know.

      • David Herbert
        David Herbert
        June 8, 2011 at 2:20 am | #

        Like your mom. Who I fucked. For a nickel.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 8, 2011 at 2:56 am | #

          Give me your FAAAAAACEEE so I can punch it for a nickel.

          • MacGravatar
            MacGravatar
            June 8, 2011 at 3:29 pm | #

            My FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEE not being for sale, as I have enough to cry about in this emotional comic. See??? even my pic is crying!

          • TheBenenator
            TheBenenator
            June 8, 2011 at 10:10 pm | #

            Joyce-avatar, that is just DISTURBING. To my FEMURS.

    • MM
      MM
      June 8, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

      Fortunately, that’s the sort of thing Billie specializes in.

      …Come to think of it, did she and Mike ever interact in the original canon? That could be fun.

      • Rowen Morland
        Rowen Morland
        June 8, 2011 at 1:52 am | #

        I don’t think they crossed paths.

  3. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    June 8, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    Well hey, if Dannyt ends up a clingy, “I’ll do ANYTHING FOR YOU DON’T LEAVE MEEEE!” type, then at least it’ll give Billie a lot more self-worth!

  4. cruncher3019
    cruncher3019
    June 8, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    I’d fuck the shit out of Billy. I’d literally fuck her until she shits.

    • Stephen
      Stephen
      June 8, 2011 at 12:41 am | #

      The Mike icon makes this comment awesome.

      • MacGravatar
        MacGravatar
        June 8, 2011 at 3:30 pm | #

        I like the “Mikcon” face, with that comment. It makes it worth it.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 8, 2011 at 1:04 am | #

      “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…”

  5. Brendan
    Brendan
    June 8, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    Here we go ag… wait, half-Asian?

    • bunnyThor
      bunnyThor
      June 8, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

      Even more puzzling than this being the first we’ve heard of this in a dozen years (!) is the question of how Dorothy knows this to be a fact. Is Dorothy just making assumptions, or did Billie hold forth about her ethnicity off-panel?

      • Jason
        Jason
        June 8, 2011 at 12:36 am | #

        I think it’s supposed to be more obvious than Willis’ drawings make her out to be. (Ironically, Billie was all Caucasian in the original continuity, but apparently some fans kept assuming she was Asian, so he made her half-Asian for DoA.)

        • Aydr
          Aydr
          June 8, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

          huh. I was wondering about the half-asian comment. I figured it had to be Billie but I never thought she was asian at all. I don’t see it.

        • Rowen Morland
          Rowen Morland
          June 8, 2011 at 1:53 am | #

          Interesting form of character evoloution.

        • Khrene Cleaver
          Khrene Cleaver
          June 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm | #

          Maybe it’s because people assumed she was asian by her look maybe Willis made dorothy assume she was asian?

      • Jason
        Jason
        June 8, 2011 at 12:41 am | #

        Quote from blog from 9/12/2010: “Anyway, since I have no idea if it will actually ever come up in the strip, I might as well come out and say that Billie is half-Asian now. Everyone always assumed she was Asian back in Roomies!, what with the black hair and fair complexion, even though she was conceived as thoroughly English. So I figgered this go-round, hey, she’s half-Asian, why not? These are the galaxy-sweeping alterations I am making! The ones that make absolutely no real impact on the strip! Her dad, of course, is still white through-and-through, because, dude, last name’s friggin’ Billingsworth, man.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 8, 2011 at 1:11 am | #

      I was surprised to find out Billie was half-Asian too, I thought her yellowish skin was due to Alcoholic Jaundice.

      • bunnyThor
        bunnyThor
        June 8, 2011 at 3:34 am | #

        She’s secret Asian, man.

        • TsunamiJane
          TsunamiJane
          June 8, 2011 at 8:30 am | #

          You have just won the internets.

        • Nim
          Nim
          June 8, 2011 at 1:17 pm | #

          I am so glad that I’m not the only person who has heard those lyrics that way. 😀

    • Amazo
      Amazo
      June 12, 2011 at 3:32 pm | #

      It’s been on her Walkypedia entry for quite a while.

  6. Darth Shadow
    Darth Shadow
    June 8, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    Danny just can’t get a break lately.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      June 8, 2011 at 12:54 am | #

      He’s the universe’s punching bag.

      • Björn
        Björn
        June 8, 2011 at 4:39 am | #

        It was the same in It’s Walky! I remember at the end of the storyline, when he became a regular part of the cast again, and I kept whining “Poor Danny!” at almost every strip.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      June 8, 2011 at 6:58 am | #

      Oh, poor Danny, he has to be interviewed by Billie. Such a terrible fate.

      • dchorror
        dchorror
        June 8, 2011 at 10:16 am | #

        At this point, that might be a terrible thing, or a remarkable one.

  7. Aizat
    Aizat
    June 8, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    Amber’s half Asian? Added the fact that she wore glasses, a nerd and just plain adorkable that she could be my type of girl.The breast size is a plus.

    • RayBarrington
      RayBarrington
      June 8, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

      And if it’s a plus breast size, that’s a bigger plus.

      • Rikushadow5
        Rikushadow5
        June 8, 2011 at 5:19 am | #

        Your avvi makes that comment seem more appropriate.

    • Anon
      Anon
      June 8, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

      She was talking about Billie. Sorry dude.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 8, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

      Or is Dorothy talking about someone else?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 8, 2011 at 1:40 am | #

        The only other characters I know of that ‘could’ possibly be half-Asian is Dina or Sal, but they don’t wear glasses.

        • Angelgex01
          Angelgex01
          June 8, 2011 at 10:39 am | #

          He could…. BE INTRODUCING A NEW CHARACTER *DumDumDummmmm….*

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 8, 2011 at 10:24 pm | #

            Would she be as controversial as Malaya is in SP!?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 8, 2011 at 1:48 am | #

      Faz was half-Asian too if I recall, would that mean that Faz is Amber’s full brother now?

      Scary Thought.

      • Xalticus
        Xalticus
        June 8, 2011 at 3:04 am | #

        Faz is now Billie’s ‘sibling’.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 8, 2011 at 3:15 am | #

          If that is the case, then Billie really is The ChewToy in the DoA universe.

      • lawzlo
        lawzlo
        June 8, 2011 at 7:17 pm | #

        Maybe in the DoA universe, Faz is a large breasted woman…

      • Amazo
        Amazo
        June 12, 2011 at 3:35 pm | #

        WAIT YOU MEAN FAZ IS A GIRL IN THIS UNIVERSE.

    • Rikushadow5
      Rikushadow5
      June 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm | #

      Also, Dorothy’s talking about Billie, not Amber.

  8. oooo oooo
    oooo oooo
    June 8, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    Is Dorothy part Asian as well? If not, why mention that of Billie?

    • Jason
      Jason
      June 8, 2011 at 12:32 am | #

      Lots of guys, especially geeky guys, are supposedly into Asian girls. It’s kind of a stereotype.

      • Bill M.
        Bill M.
        June 8, 2011 at 11:22 am | #

        Of course. Asians have that “lamb in public, lion in the bedroom” mystique due to 80s & 90s stereotypes. Bagging an Asian chick is near landing a threesome with two girls, and depending upon which two girls may even surpass it on the braggart scale.

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      June 8, 2011 at 12:40 am | #

      Half asians are almost always attractive. Doesn’t much matter if you have a thing for asians or not. Same goes for most mixed races, really.

  9. Nexev
    Nexev
    June 8, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    I think Danny and Billie will get along well, even if they don’t date.

    After all, both of them are pretty messed up right now and misery loves company.

  10. tmoney
    tmoney
    June 8, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    oh good i’ve been waiting for danny and billie to meet in this universe!

    • bunnyThor
      bunnyThor
      June 8, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

      I’m actually hoping that none of the people who have hooked up in previous continuities hook up in this one.

      Walky + Joyce? Dina + Mike? Billie + Danny? Meh, it’s been done. We’ve seen it already. New combos bring new perspectives on the characters and new shenanigans. No use rebooting if you are just going to repeat.

      • tmoney
        tmoney
        June 8, 2011 at 2:13 am | #

        they don’t need to get together to be fun. i found them pretty entertaining when they didn’t get along, i’d be fine to see some more of that

      • Angelgex01
        Angelgex01
        June 8, 2011 at 5:06 am | #

        I was really digging the idea of Danny + Amber,. that was really cute and I’ve always just loved both their characters. Even though Danny makes me facepalm 2/3 of the times he opened his mouth. Though I think the big plus about Danny+Billie is she gave him a spine, and he gave her self control and something to believe in.

        • Rikushadow5
          Rikushadow5
          June 8, 2011 at 5:21 am | #

          Amber in this ‘verse seems to have already gotten over her crap, too, so her being with Danny might be fun.

          • TemplarKnight
            TemplarKnight
            June 8, 2011 at 7:19 am | #

            Uh, she dresses up as a superhero and blocks out the entire world to play with her computer.

            I think she still has a bit to go before “getting over her crap”.

            • LimeTH
              LimeTH
              June 8, 2011 at 9:00 am | #

              Are you implying Amber is Amazi-girl? Because everybody knows she’s really Ultra-Car, man.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                June 8, 2011 at 10:27 pm | #

                You are assuming that one, Ultra-Car exists in DoA and two, Ultra-Car is a good-guy.

                For all you know, Ultra-Car could be a villain.

            • dchorror
              dchorror
              June 8, 2011 at 10:19 am | #

              Yeah, but this is different crap. She doesn’t seem to have as many self confidence issues as she did at the beginning of Shortpacked!

              • Angelgex01
                Angelgex01
                June 8, 2011 at 10:43 am | #

                She seems to have a new set of issues like thinking any man she could ever date might be gay issues.
                And for your information I have it on good information Joe is Amazi-girl. It’s obvious He joed a radioactive super girls and got her powers.

                • Lesharo
                  Lesharo
                  June 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm | #

                  So, that’s what happens when you Joe super girl up the butt….

      • Al the Mighty
        Al the Mighty
        June 8, 2011 at 7:15 pm | #

        But then what is left for Mike? He already did all the moms in the other continuity…

  11. Gnoka
    Gnoka
    June 8, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

    I wonder if things will go differently this time, with Danny having never met Sal.

    • Angelgex01
      Angelgex01
      June 8, 2011 at 5:21 am | #

      So instead of Danny’s standards being “Southern, Troubled and Named Sal” it seems Danny’s new Standards are “Nerdy with a side of Glasses.” So far Billie seems completely safe from Danny’s affections. However Danny’s urge to help people and be a good person might pull them together…. However there is a part of me that still hopes for a Danny + Sall pairing because I think he was the best thing that happened to her.

      • Crimson Magic
        Crimson Magic
        June 8, 2011 at 10:35 pm | #

        He’s always had a thing for glasses.

  12. WORLD DOMINATION
    WORLD DOMINATION
    June 8, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    Dude, I have a theory about the plot.

    One, Joe’s secretly gay, and only bones a whole lot of women so he can, you know, not be gay. “I fuck women, so I don’t like men!” is bullshit. On another angle, he could be bi. (This could also explain why he rejected Joyce in Joyce and Walky – he didn’t want to lie to her when he was having sex with her, and she was different because she wouldn’t be a one-night stand. Makes more sense than the whole “You wouldn’t REALLY be happy with me” thing.)

    For another: Ethan and Joe hook up. Ethan like transformers, Joe is a robot builder and a total nerd for them. It would certainly work out better than Drew and Ethan is working out, and it would result in lots and lots of pro-gay-fangirl boning.

    Willis, make it happen. XD

    • gangler
      gangler
      June 8, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

      I first read it as “Ethan and Joe hook up like transformers”. Had an entirely different image in my head.

      • milk experiment
        milk experiment
        June 8, 2011 at 6:39 am | #

        “POWERLINX!”

      • Nim
        Nim
        June 8, 2011 at 1:20 pm | #

        I like the way you think! *grin*

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 8, 2011 at 12:50 am | #

      I only have one word for your good idea. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. It’s a good idea but Joe being gay? No. Just no.

      • gangler
        gangler
        June 8, 2011 at 1:10 am | #

        We don’t need to label Joe with a sexuality. He’ll Joe anything that walks.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 8, 2011 at 1:48 am | #

          I thought he’ll Joe anything that has a pair of boobs.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 8, 2011 at 1:50 am | #

            Including MAN-BOOBS?

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              June 8, 2011 at 1:57 am | #

              Is that even exist?

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                June 8, 2011 at 3:12 am | #

                If you have never seen the horror that is man-boobs, be thankful, BE VERY THANKFUL.

                Unless it’s on a hot trap, then they become awesome and mystifying.

              • Xalticus
                Xalticus
                June 8, 2011 at 3:19 am | #

                Man-boobs do exist, consider yourself lucky that you have yet to personally encounter them.

          • Tenn
            Tenn
            June 8, 2011 at 3:44 am | #

            Except Robin. He wouldn’t even joe her up the butt.

    • Zem
      Zem
      June 8, 2011 at 5:37 am | #

      Awesome. Even if it turns out to be untrue, it’d be hilarious to explore.

      Besides, it gives Ethan a reason to be there. He’s the gay one, you know.

    • dchorror
      dchorror
      June 8, 2011 at 10:22 am | #

      And what does it have to do with the plot?

      Quite frankly, is there a plot beyond a bunch of Willis’ characters go to the same school?

    • taekwondogirl
      taekwondogirl
      June 8, 2011 at 5:45 pm | #

      This is mostly amusing except for the part about Joe turning Joyce down in the Walkyverse. It was made pretty clear that he thought he couldn’t handle commitment and that she deserved it.

  13. Dahlia
    Dahlia
    June 8, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    s: I dislike Billie NOW, but later on she actually becomes more tolerable thanks to Danny’s love, and they WENT SOMEWHERE….

    Still…good person with a bad person…it irks me….>.<

    That and Billie "won" a fight against Sal which also keeps me disliking her, but on a less personal level and a more "HOW DARE YOU HURT MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, BEEEYOTCH!"

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 8, 2011 at 12:35 am | #

      Just relax. Everything is going to be alright and no I’m not in denial that a perfectly adorable couple IMO is now no more. I agree with you about the good person with a bad person thing and about Sal.

      • Dahlia
        Dahlia
        June 8, 2011 at 2:31 am | #

        ^ ^ Yep, I hope so. Willis’ endings are usually very satisfying :3

        Haha, thanks! ^^

        • Angelgex01
          Angelgex01
          June 8, 2011 at 5:17 am | #

          That’s what she said ^^

          • Dahlia
            Dahlia
            June 8, 2011 at 4:01 pm | #

            B ] heh.

    • Balance
      Balance
      June 8, 2011 at 4:29 am | #

      The fact that one of you is sal and the other is Joyce when it is common knowledge that both at one point tried to have a successful relationship with Danny made your comments all the better.

      • Balance
        Balance
        June 8, 2011 at 4:32 am | #

        And that both characters also had a strong dislike of Billie because of said relationship.

        • Dahlia
          Dahlia
          June 8, 2011 at 4:02 pm | #

          Oh, the irony~! ^^

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 8, 2011 at 10:29 am | #

        And the fact that you’re avatar is Head Alien just made me grin.

    • rali
      rali
      June 8, 2011 at 1:43 pm | #

      wait what

      I know Billie’s never been the nicest person, but that fight with Sal? That was over Sal CHEATING WITH BILLIE’S BOYFRIEND.

      And despite that, Billie really didn’t do shit to Sal. She was the one that got sent to the hospital, and Sal got maybe a few bruises.

      so, uh, whut

      • Dahlia
        Dahlia
        June 8, 2011 at 4:00 pm | #

        I meant “winning” in a sense that Billie won Danny’s heart in the end, not the actual physical fight (heh).

        Yeah, I know it was Billie fighting to keep the man she loves, again, it was less about Billie as a person and more of her as winning over the guy Sal liked (but I prefer Danny x Billie and Sal x Jason, because they learned with their love and it was not pointless infatuation)

        • rali
          rali
          June 9, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

          Oh okay then. I was about to say. :B

  14. Jason
    Jason
    June 8, 2011 at 12:21 am | #

    NOOOO I NEED MY FOUR-EYED BIG-BREASTED HALF-ASIAN GIRL BACK IN THE TOP IMAGE PLEEEEEZE….. (I love her scowl)

    • dchorror
      dchorror
      June 8, 2011 at 10:24 am | #

      She might be showing up again soon, considering what Dorothy just said.

  15. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    June 8, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

    now joe’s going to have a threesome fantasy (although i doubt they’d be willing to)

  16. jaredstar
    jaredstar
    June 8, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

    boys gotta type… i can respect that

  17. Aydr
    Aydr
    June 8, 2011 at 12:44 am | #

    I really hope they don’t get together. I kind of like Amber+Danny.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 8, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

      Me too.

    • thatgirlwiththeglasses
      thatgirlwiththeglasses
      June 8, 2011 at 12:51 am | #

      I agree.

    • Cat
      Cat
      June 8, 2011 at 1:13 am | #

      Hmm, what shall we call this pairing? Danber or Amby

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 8, 2011 at 1:56 am | #

        I’d say Danber sounds good.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          June 25, 2011 at 2:51 am | #

          Damber works too.

    • George
      George
      June 8, 2011 at 1:14 am | #

      I’m betting that after he “clears his head[or heads]” Danny will figure out that there’s a lot more between him and Amber than “she looks like my ex”. At least I hope that’s what happens. Billie doesn’t seem like his “type” and there’s no tragedy to bring them together, so no worries about rehashing old relationships.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 8, 2011 at 1:15 am | #

      Me three. Besides, Billie isn’t the kind of girl who would ‘trade pokemons’ the way Amber would.

      • Balance
        Balance
        June 8, 2011 at 4:35 am | #

        But didint Billie like Danny for the fact that he was a dork and that they could relate with being social outcasts… and the Ruth thing.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 8, 2011 at 6:59 pm | #

          But this version of Billie isn’t into dorks as far as I am aware.

      • TsunamiJane
        TsunamiJane
        June 8, 2011 at 8:40 am | #

        Wahh!! {That was me exclaiming in delight!} I thought I was the only one in the world who said “me three!” Of course, I usually say it when I’m expected to say “me too.” My reasoning is, there’s probly someone out there who already agrees.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 8, 2011 at 10:31 pm | #

          Nothing stopped ya from saying Me Four, ya know. ^_^

  18. T Campbell
    T Campbell
    June 8, 2011 at 12:48 am | #

    The most recent developments aren’t my favorites, honestly, though I can’t say they’re not in character. Danny+Amber strikes me as way, way more potentially interesting than a reworking of Danny+Billie, so I’m nonplussed to see one possibility pushed aside and the other raised.

    Then again, Danny and Amber ain’t completely out of consideration yet. They still have class together, and she now has a reason to keep seeking him out. And then there’s the whole Amazi-Girl connection. I find it hard to believe that AMAZI-GIRL reminds Danny of Dorothy, unless Dorothy’s high school was a lot wilder than is implied.

    Dorothy does come off very believable here. She really is trying to help, but she has yet to learn that there’s almost nothing she can do for Danny now, except stay out of the way. Which might be a challenge if her Joe story gets any more complicated.

    • gangler
      gangler
      June 8, 2011 at 3:30 am | #

      “She really is trying to help, but she has yet to learn that there’s almost nothing she can do for Danny now, except stay out of the way.”

      This has the distinct ring of truth, and makes her actions and motives make a lot more sense to me.

    • Björn
      Björn
      June 8, 2011 at 4:45 am | #

      Huh? Amazi-girl reminding him of Dorothy? What Danny said was “I liked *Amber* because she reminded me of you.”

      • T Campbell
        T Campbell
        June 9, 2011 at 1:20 am | #

        Yes, that’s what I said. “I find it hard to believe Amazi-Girl reminds Danny of Dorothy.”

    • jeschr
      jeschr
      June 8, 2011 at 8:31 am | #

      Danny+Amazi-girl would be awesome. Sort of like Mary Jane+spider-man pre her knowing his identity.

    • Crimson Magic
      Crimson Magic
      June 8, 2011 at 10:38 pm | #

      It’s like the fourth day of the semester. Amber hasn’t been pushed aside as a possibility yet.

  19. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 8, 2011 at 12:54 am | #

    Danny is the universe’s punching bag, isn’t he? He’s probably got a file in the cosmic bureaucracy, right next to Peter Parker.

    • gangler
      gangler
      June 8, 2011 at 1:08 am | #

      Oh please. Peter Parker’s never had any real problems. “Oh woe is me for being granted power. However will I deal with the ethical ramifications of being so blessed”

      “Oh noes! My uncle dieded. I could have prevented it if only I knew the future. Curse these darned spider senses for only warning of immediate threats to my own life”

      “My romantic life, while fulfilling, encounters the occasional speed bump and requires time and commitment from me. Surely I am the only soul so very cursed in my encounters with the fairer sex. The Gods themselves smite me in their wrath and I know not how I have angered them!”

      “Oh heavens to betsy. I, a post-secondary student, am low on cash. I am most assuredly the only member of the student body with money woes. I can produce money on the drop of a pin just by photographing myself, but my boss is mean and unsociable, while caring not for my problems. The universe itself must surely conspire against me!”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 8, 2011 at 1:17 am | #

        Peter Parker was an emo before emos were invented? I will never look at Spider-Man the same way again.

      • shoeboxjeddy
        shoeboxjeddy
        June 8, 2011 at 1:51 am | #

        Your interpretation is quite humorous and well written. Unfortunately, this is the internet. So, as is custom, argument to the death!

        Spidey’s life in summary:
        -Parents were secret spies who died while he was young, leaving him in the care of aunt and uncle
        -He was a nerd, constantly being picked on
        -Yay super powers!
        -Can’t make money off them even though others seem to succeed handily at same
        -Powers and attempt at making an honest buck indirectly lead to substitute father figure being murdered
        -Heroism causes break up of first serious relationship (with Betty Brant)
        -New father figure/hero aid George Stacy is murdered as an indirect result of heroism
        -Heroism directly causes death of second serious girlfriend (Gwen Stacy)
        -Best friend turns to drugs as an indirect result of heroism
        -New romantic partner (MJ) leaves as a direct result of heroism
        -Finally a bright spot, marriage
        -Clone discovered
        -Best friend dies as a direct result of heroism
        -Nope, discovered to BE a clone
        -Aunt/mother figure dies (for once as a result of natural causes)
        -Woops, the previous three were massive trolls perpetrated by worst enemy
        {skipping ahead}
        -Murdered and resurrected with horrifying new powers
        -Literal devil steals marriage
        -Good friend is killed (Johnny Storm)
        etc etc etc.

        Spider-Man is karma’s prom dumpster baby.

        • gangler
          gangler
          June 8, 2011 at 2:45 am | #

          Yeah, funny thing. I see a whole lot of his friends suffering from his fuckups in that list and very little personal suffering. Peter hardly got the shit end of the stick in the story you just told.

          Parents dead? He grew up in a loving home. That’s more than a lot of us can say.

          Other’s making money off his powers? Yeah, I don’t see that being a huge setback so long as he’s paying the bills with them too.

          Aside from that, some bad breakups and a divorce with no alimony. I don’t really see the tragic figure you seem to be trying to paint.

          Murdered and resurrected with with horrifying new powers sounds nasty. I don’t know exactly what these terrible and loathsome powers were. I do feel the need to point out that most murder victims don’t get the luxury of complaining about the nature of their resurrection.

          Really. He’s a man who was raised in a loving and understanding family, made a whole lot of great and true friends, is getting a good education for himself and then he gets given superhuman abilities even further widening the gap between him and misfortune. The man dances with the criminal underground of new york city for sport. Did he think that was gonna be sunshine and rainbows?

          The problem with spiderman imo is that he’s supposed to be the everyman’s hero. His life isn’t decadent and everything doesn’t always go his way. Maybe the everyman would find him a bit more relatable if he didn’t spend all his time whining about how much this all sucks and how deeply significant these problems are. “Oh god. I wish I were Tony Stark.” It’s freaking insulting to see these everyday troubles we all deal with painted as some manner of tragedy you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. He’s still doing better than most. He’s still doing better than anyone else in this story.

          • ryan
            ryan
            June 8, 2011 at 8:35 am | #

            you guys both forgot the part where doc ock marries aunt may. the mental image of the honeymoon alone qualifies peter parker as the universe’s punching bag.

          • dchorror
            dchorror
            June 8, 2011 at 10:39 am | #

            Actually, I thought most of his angst was from the fact that half the world hates his guts and the other half doesn’t trust him because he absolutely refuses to reveal his identity for perfectly sane reasons(half the world hates his guts).

            And he spends most of his time with people trying to kill him while being a joking chatterbox. For free. And when he utters a single complaint that he’s going to be short on the rent because he’s been [b]saving lives[/b], the rest of the super hero community chastises him for wanting to have a life(which most of them actually have themselves). Can you really blame the guy for angsting a little?

            • gangler
              gangler
              June 8, 2011 at 4:56 pm | #

              Quite frankly, if I had to put up with the complete bullshit that is the Marvel Universe hero community, I wouldn’t last a week. His peer circle is characterized by the likes of Tony Stark, Wolverine, and Captain America. Not a whole lot of sympathy or understanding here.

        • Tom
          Tom
          June 8, 2011 at 3:11 am | #

          I don’t understand this line: “-Aunt/mother figure dies (for once as a result of natural causes)”.

          When did Aunt May die? Last thing I know about her is that she was alive at the One More Day storyline (“Literal devil steals marriage”). She was the one who was saved by Peter and MJ making the decision…

          Or did she die in the last few years?

          Other interesting point: “-Powers and attempt at making an honest buck indirectly lead to substitute father figure being murdered”

          In the origin story I know his only fault was that he didn’t stop the murderer earlier that day, when he was stealing something. So the problem was that he didn’t take responsiblity, and didn’t catch bad guys. His attempt at making money wasn’t involved in the death of Uncle Ben… I he hadn’t tried to make money, he wouldn’t have any chance to stop the killer.

          Am I wrong somewhere?

          • Bill M.
            Bill M.
            June 8, 2011 at 11:38 am | #

            Tom, you forget why One More Day happened. At the start of it, Aunt May WAS dead. Quesada, in an attempt to take Spidey back to the Spidey he grew up on, single & dating, the deal with Mephisto was that Mephisto got to take the one bright spot left in his life, marriage to a supermodel who was okay with him being a superhero, just to have his Aunt May returned to him.

            As to Uncle Ben’s death, if he wasn’t out trying to earn the money against Crusher Hogan, he would have been with his Uncle when the hoodlum broke in. If you even take the movie version, it was Uncle Ben gave Pete the ride which put him at risk of being carjacked and killed.

            • lord of dance
              lord of dance
              June 8, 2011 at 1:33 pm | #

              yeah, but she didn’t die of natural causes then. she was shot

              • shoeboxjeddy
                shoeboxjeddy
                June 8, 2011 at 2:03 pm | #

                Aunt May died of cancer in (I believe) JMS’s run after revealing she knew he was Spider-Man. It was rather sweet and meaningful and advanced the story arc and character arcs. However, it was different from the 60s/the TV show/whatever so OF COURSE Marvel had to immediately hit the reset button. Alongside other retcons, it was stupidly revealed that not only was the Norman Osborn alive (he had been long dead since the story arc which parallels the first Spider-Man movie), he had KIDNAPPED Aunt May and hired an amazing SUPER ACTRESS to play Aunt May… and die apparently. To cause him angst. Yup…

                @gangler, comparing real people to super heros is a tremendous fail. Real people get raped and abused, therefore Spider-Man shouldn’t complain? REALLY?? And saying the death or hurt of a friend isn’t personal suffering for Spider-Man is probably the most insensitive thing I’ve ever heard. The girl you loved and wanted to marry died at your unintended hand? BUCK UP LOSER, that’s her problem, not yours! Wow…

                • gangler
                  gangler
                  June 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm | #

                  Just between you and me, I actually know nothing about spiderman. Unfortunately, this being the internet, arguing from ignorance is also customary 😉

                • lawzlo
                  lawzlo
                  June 8, 2011 at 7:23 pm | #

                  Peter Parker will never live down the shame of having a starring role in the “Clone Saga.” This is the sort of humiliation which scars you for life.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 8, 2011 at 1:13 am | #

      The only thing he’s missing is Spider powers. Just hope he did not make a deal with the Devil

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 8, 2011 at 1:26 am | #

        I think I remember reading about that storyline in TVTRopes Wallbanger section.

        • gangler
          gangler
          June 8, 2011 at 1:31 am | #

          Personally I watched the linkara video. Think it was in the top 10 most dumbass something or other list.

          • nothri
            nothri
            June 8, 2011 at 9:47 am | #

            http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html

            One more day can be found 25 minutes in.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 8, 2011 at 10:44 pm | #

            I checked out Linkara to find this video thanks to your comment.

      • lord of dance
        lord of dance
        June 8, 2011 at 1:46 am | #

        wait… could danny be spider-car?

  20. gangler
    gangler
    June 8, 2011 at 12:57 am | #

    It just occurred to me what it is about Dorothy’s line in panel 3 that is intrinsically wrong. “You at least agree I made the right decision, right? Letting you go? Not stringing you along any longer?”

    It completely neglects to acknowledge to original decision to start stringing him along. It’s like saying “Hey, it’s real cool that I stopped stabbing you repeatedly right?” That’s just not how these things work. The decision to stop doing the things that hurt the people around you doesn’t somehow earn you good person points. Just slows the rate at which you attain bad person points.

    It also seems just plain bizarre to me that she’s seeking the approval of the man she just broke up with. I wouldn’t mind hearing from some other people whether that’s genuinely outlandish behavior or if I’m just failing my empathy check right now.

    • Biker Matt
      Biker Matt
      June 8, 2011 at 1:44 am | #

      IRL, people would think highly of her for such a “noble” perspective.

      Unfortunately, the same sentence coming out of a guys mouth makes him vile for that kind of presumption.

      In DoA, however, we’ve already seen an example from each gender in the direction of excessive leniency that this might not be as accurate here.

      • gangler
        gangler
        June 8, 2011 at 3:27 am | #

        Eh, I suppose it’s better than a needlessly spiteful ex, which is disturbingly common. Hardly the worst ex one could have, and her intentions are kind of benevolantish. I’ll give her a pass on this.

        • Angelgex01
          Angelgex01
          June 8, 2011 at 5:12 am | #

          Too me if that came out of my ex’s mouth it doesn’t matter how amicable the break up was. It’s going to piss me off, or crush my spirit. I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk to try to give your Ex of FOUR DAYS dating advice. If you break up with someone give them space.

          • gangler
            gangler
            June 8, 2011 at 6:01 am | #

            Oh for sure. It’d piss me off immensely. On the relative scale of break up piss offs though it’s not gonna measure up to say vandalizing my shit or harrassing me on facebook and in the hallways. At the end of the day it’s a rare break up where you don’t get pissed off at all, so that’s why I hand this one the pass. It’s not like she stole and broke Danny’s DS, or spray painted “Spineless wuss prone to premature ejaculation” on his dorm door.

    • Cryo
      Cryo
      June 8, 2011 at 2:49 am | #

      I don’t think Dorothy is seeking Danny’s approval of her actions as much as she is seeking her own approval. It’s already been established how guilty she feels over the break-up played out and it’s effect on Danny, to the point where she was doubting if she made the right choice. To me, her word choice in the 3rd panel sounds more like she’s trying to convince herself she made the right decision than convince Danny of it.

  21. Bean
    Bean
    June 8, 2011 at 1:19 am | #

    Yes! Oh god, thank you. I’m so freaking tired of hearing how crappy Peter Parker has it. Tony Stark employed him in a science capacity at one point, and he invented an industrial strength glue. His lack of ability to get his life in order is his own goddamn fault.

    Also, With regards to the comic-Dorothy, what the HELL? You dumped him, this is not the time to be making with the relationship advice. Despite being a very bright young woman, you do NOT know what’s best for everyone. Jebas.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 8, 2011 at 1:24 am | #

      The advice isn’t bad per-se, it’s just that she is the last person on Earth who should be telling him this, it needs to be someone else saying this to him.

  22. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 8, 2011 at 1:22 am | #

    Prediction: Danny will show an interest in Billie until either she disses Amazi-Girl or goes on one of her ‘nerds are stupid for liking nerdy things’ rants.

    • gangler
      gangler
      June 8, 2011 at 1:31 am | #

      Somehow it wouldn’t surprise me if that just allowed him to showcase his masochistic side a little more.

  23. Joebo
    Joebo
    June 8, 2011 at 1:33 am | #

    OTP?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 8, 2011 at 1:55 am | #

      Mike + Ruth?

      • Rikushadow5
        Rikushadow5
        June 8, 2011 at 5:24 am | #

        I approve.

      • Zem
        Zem
        June 11, 2011 at 3:32 pm | #

        Mike + Ruth. Yes.

        Either they completely destroy each other, revealing their human sides in the process, or Ruth uses her natural instinct to hire Mike to wage chaos for him, destroying the hopes of those who wanted to get rid of her and hoped that she’d fall for it and piss him off.

  24. Bekah
    Bekah
    June 8, 2011 at 1:52 am | #

    WORLDS ARE COLLIDING! THEY MUST NEVER MEET!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 8, 2011 at 1:56 am | #

      What is the worse that could happen?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 8, 2011 at 2:05 am | #

        Zalgo.

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        June 8, 2011 at 2:28 am | #

        We could lose Independent Dan!

      • Dr. Worm
        Dr. Worm
        June 8, 2011 at 7:12 am | #

        Why, Aizat? Why did you have to say the name?

        ̮̤͖̙̋H͎̫͙̞̍ͧ͂͛͝e̯̠̱̞͍͆̿̋̈͢ ͖̻̞̻̥̼̜ͧ̏͛ͯ͒̆̃w̫͕̫̱̙̾ͭͅh̯͕̣̙ͪ̅͊o̜̭ͧ̕ ̲̖͞W̨̪̮ͨ̓̾ͣͮ̈́a̝͚͖ḭͤ̎̓̑ͤ͝t̴̖̣s̠͚͇̻͔̺̰ͦ̓̅̀ ̞̠̻͔̮̭̈́ͮ̅̌̉͗ͅB̗̘͔̥̬̱̽̉̔͂ͭ͋ě̥͔̭̜̤̫͎̽͗̍h͒̓͌i̧͚̭͚͚͇̦̭ͦ̒ṉ̌͋̈́d̰͍̠̖ͩ͆̏̽̊ͥ ̤ͪ͑̋̆ͫ̅͑T̒͏͍̫͉̣̯ḥ̩̤̮̖̬̒ͫ͂̊ͅe͉̮͊̌ͯ͑̏ ͛͒̈W̬͍͔̻̮̣ͣͤ̈́ͨͥ̏̋͞aͪ̔ͤ͋̈ͥ̂̀l̹̖̊̈́l͓̞͚̚.̳̫͖̖̦̲͟ͅ

        ̜̱͛ͥͣ͜Z̝̺̯̔̍ͮͩͤÅ͞L̗G̟̩̥̎͒̀͋O͉ͅ ̱̯͍̹̂H̽̓̓ͥ͛́҉̫E͈̓͡ ̼̼̲͕̲̄̉̄̓C̤͍̦̣͕̈́̇͗̐Ö́ͬ̾ͫͯ̓̽҉̺͇̤͕M͚͇̺̫̞ͨͥ̈́̀͋̅̏Ĕ̛͇̤͙͕̤S̱͚̘̝̩̙ͭͬͅ

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 8, 2011 at 9:22 am | #

          That’s the worst thing I can think of.

        • Crimson Magic
          Crimson Magic
          June 8, 2011 at 10:41 pm | #

          Nice.

    • ryan
      ryan
      June 8, 2011 at 8:42 am | #

      typically he just likes to watch mortals in their day to day affairs, but in this one instance* uatu must intervene!

      *not just this one instance

  25. Robin
    Robin
    June 8, 2011 at 8:12 am | #

    Must your ego destroy everything you touch, Willis!!!

    • Ian
      Ian
      June 8, 2011 at 10:08 am | #

      I’m not sure what you mean. Yet, I feel for his characters. Going around all the time with Willis’ arm up their backsides, pretending they’re hand puppets, has got to hurt.

      • BlobMarley
        BlobMarley
        June 8, 2011 at 11:28 am | #

        It’s a reference to today’s Shortpacked! comic.

      • Robin
        Robin
        June 8, 2011 at 8:43 pm | #

        I’m doing my best to make it the new “Damn you WIllis!!!”

    • Lesharo
      Lesharo
      June 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm | #

      It could have been worse. Danny and Amber could have been kept from noticing each other by a not-so-strategically placed banner for “Shortpants”

  26. zuche
    zuche
    June 8, 2011 at 9:40 am | #

    Wait… in addition to wearing glasses in her secret identity, Power Girl is now half-Asian–and she’s pursuing the same mild-mannered career as a certain Calvin Klein Clark Kent?

    CURSE YOU, WINNICK!

    • zuche
      zuche
      June 8, 2011 at 9:42 am | #

      Whoops. Forgot to strike the Calvin Klein. Mustn’t cross the CKs, you know.

    • dchorror
      dchorror
      June 8, 2011 at 10:44 am | #

      Huh. Has anyone drawn Billie in the Powergirl outfit yet?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm | #

        I have, and I even included a Chest Window.

        http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/8/d849a856-f0df-431d-92cd-ecdb9908d6aa.jpg

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm | #

          Sorry I misread, I thought you said Amazi-Girl not Powergirl

  27. BlobMarley
    BlobMarley
    June 8, 2011 at 11:16 am | #

    Here’s hoping Billie and Danny don’t end up together. Because let’s be honest.

    Se would destroy him.

    What with her entitlement complex and his lack of spine, she’d have him running circles around her pinky like some sort of tiny, tiny marathon man.

    Come on, I’m still shippig Danny Amber! Don’t sink the SS Damber!

  28. Shift
    Shift
    June 8, 2011 at 1:28 pm | #

    Dorothy DID meet Billie… right? Even if Danny does find her attractive, the likelihood of anything coming of that is probably nill. I mean, Danny doesn’t really seem her type.

    And honestly, that last line of Danny whipping a tear and asking if the girl has glasses… I don’t know why but that just comes off as creepy and pathetic at the same time. 😛

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      June 8, 2011 at 6:26 pm | #

      I didn’t read that as eager. I read it as Danny bracing himself for if the girl hits all his turn-ons.

      • Shift
        Shift
        June 8, 2011 at 6:49 pm | #

        Doesn’t mean it can’t still be creepy.

        • jaredstar
          jaredstar
          June 8, 2011 at 7:00 pm | #

          i admit it has been a while but walkyverse danny didn’t seem like Walkyverse Billie’s type either.

  29. Ronan
    Ronan
    June 9, 2011 at 11:19 am | #

    I never really thought of Billie having big boobs, is that something I didn’t notice throughout all of Roomies and Its Walky! ?

    • thatgirlwiththeglasses
      thatgirlwiththeglasses
      July 4, 2011 at 8:11 pm | #

      I think she’s always had big boobs. It’s just that, as someone said in a way, way earlier DoA comic, Willis can draw now. xD

  30. Kelvin
    Kelvin
    August 30, 2011 at 8:58 am | #

    “Does she wear glasses?”

    I love that! XD

  31. NCP19
    NCP19
    February 10, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

    And here we are in February of 2012 and the PROPHECY HAS COME TO PASS.

  32. kishimobot
    kishimobot
    March 14, 2013 at 8:25 pm | #

    Half-asian? That’s really weird cause the first time I saw Billie I thought “huh, that girl kind of looks like me”
    David Willis clearly draws half-asians form experience

  33. newllend
    newllend
    August 13, 2013 at 7:56 pm | #

    Worst exgirlfriend ever!

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