Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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the entire comments section today is just going to be dozens of people all jumping in to say that one old SNL quote huh
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May 12, 2026

Entrapment

by David M Willis on January 6, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - But the Sun Still Shines
└ Tags: joyce, sarah, walky

Discussion (246) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    January 6, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    Hi Sarah !

    • Clif
      Clif
      January 6, 2019 at 8:15 am | #

      Walky, you knowledgeable eunuch, you.

  2. lilyliv
    lilyliv
    January 6, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    I… I’m not sure whose expression is my favorite in the last panel, tbh.

    • Dana
      Dana
      January 6, 2019 at 1:39 am | #

      They’re all perfect for the panel, but that’s just the best angry Joyce face ever.

      • TachyonCode
        TachyonCode
        January 6, 2019 at 1:46 am | #

        Not to mention any panel in which Joyce looks like she’s gonna angrily consume Walky’s finger really sells the comedy here.

        • Clif
          Clif
          January 6, 2019 at 7:15 am | #

          Not to mention Walky using Sarah as a shield.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        January 6, 2019 at 12:40 pm | #

        First of all, how dare you.

        • Dana
          Dana
          January 6, 2019 at 11:50 pm | #

          I stand corrected.

  3. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    January 6, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIIIIIIIIGHT

    • Durandal_1707
      Durandal_1707
      January 6, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      I’ve got a fever… and the only prescription… is more cowbell.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        January 6, 2019 at 12:22 am | #

        “My name’s Matt. I’m a radar technician.”

        • MatsuoTanuki
          MatsuoTanuki
          January 6, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

          “Fergia, Fergia, nippola nippola…”

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 7:11 am | #

            And now, for something completely different… Wait! Wrong show.

            • Clif
              Clif
              January 6, 2019 at 7:19 am | #

              Though I am disappointed that Walky didn’t work in a huge tracks of land reference.

          • Ryan
            Ryan
            January 6, 2019 at 12:47 pm | #

            Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Pepsi, Pepsi, Cheeseburger.

            • Ed Rhodes
              Ed Rhodes
              January 6, 2019 at 7:08 pm | #

              Careful with that reference, there. It’s an antique!

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            January 7, 2019 at 3:17 pm | #

            “New Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping!”

        • Safgaftsa
          Safgaftsa
          January 6, 2019 at 10:44 am | #

          “I am 100% certain that Matt is Kylo Ren.”

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 10:02 pm | #

            Okay, I’m not familiar with that SNL reference.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      January 6, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

      Do not taunt happy-fun-Joyce.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      January 6, 2019 at 12:49 am | #

      …is that whatever the alt text was referring to ?

      • Stu
        Stu
        January 6, 2019 at 10:43 am | #

        No, I’m pretty sure the alt-text is referring to the Weekend Update segment “Point/Counter-Point” with Jane Curtin and Dan Akroyd, in which both took potshots at each other for promiscuity and/or inability to get laid. Akroyd would always start with “Jane, you ignorant slut…”

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          January 6, 2019 at 12:25 pm | #

          that’s a very obscure and specific thing for a french person like me

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          January 8, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

          Omfg i got it right?

          I assumed when it wasn’t filtered, i got it wrong.

    • brionl
      brionl
      January 6, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

      OHHHHH NOOOOOO!!!!!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WO6_IiZ_WI

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      January 6, 2019 at 1:13 am | #

      YOU’LL LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER

      • woobie
        woobie
        January 6, 2019 at 2:49 am | #

        eating government cheese!

        • Clif
          Clif
          January 6, 2019 at 7:41 am | #

          Now, young man, what do you want to do with your life?

          • Schol-R-LEA
            Schol-R-LEA
            January 6, 2019 at 3:35 pm | #

            Going in slightly different direction from a different source: “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

    • Toes14
      Toes14
      January 6, 2019 at 11:05 am | #

      I don’t recognize the SNL quote mentioned, so I’m guessing it must be from the time when SNL sucked. (i.e. – anytime after 1995). If you disagree with that statement, go back and watch the original cast’s skits from 1975 – 1980 first, comparing them to more recent stuff.

      (Yes, I’m old.)

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 6, 2019 at 11:47 am | #

        The “Jane, you ignorant slut” routine was from 1979. Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin.

    • Taellosse
      Taellosse
      January 6, 2019 at 11:57 am | #

      (I’m shocked I’m the first to do this one) Land shark!

    • james
      james
      January 9, 2019 at 3:31 pm | #

      Hmm, who could it be? Mmm, maybe SATAN???

  4. Jay
    Jay
    January 6, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    I feel for Sarah

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      January 6, 2019 at 11:11 am | #

      “Damnit, I am NOT the nice one!! Why does everyone come to ME when Joyce – THE NICE ONE – loses her shit??”

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        January 6, 2019 at 12:28 pm | #

        “You manage to survive despite being roomed with her”

      • foamy
        foamy
        January 6, 2019 at 10:46 pm | #

        It’s the Granny Weatherwax problem.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        January 6, 2019 at 11:13 pm | #

        “Because you’re the steady one. You don’t mood swing like her. You’re a predictable, reliable grumpy 24/7.”

  5. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    January 6, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Joyce’s problem better be that she thinks Walky was having pre-marital hanky panky with Amber before he broke up with Dorothy, because if her problem is him getting over the break-up too soon, when she was just trying to make them get together specifically for that purpose, I’ll be cross

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      January 6, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      Welcome to the world of Joyce Brown where the rules don’t make sense and boundaries don’t matter.

      • AntJ
        AntJ
        January 6, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

        Joyce: You can’t do that to a girl!
        Walky: Who made you the expert on relationships, anyway?
        Joyce: … I had a boyfriend!
        Walky: He was gay.

        • newllend(henryvolt)
          newllend(henryvolt)
          January 6, 2019 at 2:59 am | #

          This got a laugh out of me, good job.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 7:42 am | #

            Same.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        January 6, 2019 at 12:51 am | #

        speaking of boundaries, Walky currently has his chin resting on Sarah’s shoulder while holding her from behind.

        • Bladeglory
          Bladeglory
          January 6, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

          It’s the most tactically advantageous position! Sarah will repel Joyce as though she were a magnet with the same polarity, and he’s so close to Sarah that she’ll have trouble hitting him with the baseball bat.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 8:00 am | #

            Walky has obviously given this some thought. Now Sarah can’t help but see the logic of his position and Joyce is the last person who can complain about an invasion of her room.

            • DarkoNeko
              DarkoNeko
              January 6, 2019 at 12:29 pm | #

              It’s time to take out the trusty bat

        • Emily
          Emily
          January 6, 2019 at 6:04 am | #

          Speaking of boundaries Walky walked into Sarah’s room while she wasn’t even there and apparently just thought he’d hang out.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            January 6, 2019 at 8:27 am | #

            To be fair it’s also Joyce’s room, and probably the last place she’d look for him.

            • Emily
              Emily
              January 6, 2019 at 8:33 am | #

              Really doubt Joyce wants him in her room right now either so to be fair that just makes it even less appropriate.

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                January 6, 2019 at 10:03 am | #

                Since when does Walky make appropriate, courteous decisions when he’s panicking, though?

                • Emily
                  Emily
                  January 6, 2019 at 7:05 pm | #

                  Since when does Walky make appropriate, courteous decisions.

                • Needfuldoer
                  Needfuldoer
                  January 7, 2019 at 2:23 am | #

                  Yeah, that too!

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      January 6, 2019 at 12:20 am | #

      Prepare to be cross.

      Walky is not allowed to choose his sex partners. If he expresses any agency at all about being with Dorothy, breaking up wirh her or moving on without Joyce’s say so, he’s total scum.

      This is because he hasn’t seen enough to Romcoms to who and when he is supposed to. Joyce has, thats why he can date Amber when Joyce says so, and Joyce can lust after partnered people. and probably something about Jesus

      • Dana
        Dana
        January 6, 2019 at 1:44 am | #

        God’s will.

        • Felian
          Felian
          January 6, 2019 at 8:03 am | #

          wasn’t there even a strip where Joyce reasoned that if it was God’s will that Joyce should be with Jacob then it was okay to pursue him while he was dating Raidah…?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            January 6, 2019 at 9:31 am | #

            Well. if it is God’s will, then of course it’s okay. To many religious types, that’s pretty much the definition of okay.

            Of course the problem is that Joyce doesn’t have any way of knowing if it actually is God’s will or not.

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              January 6, 2019 at 12:48 pm | #

              Of course she does! As a saved person her mind is by definition in perfect synch with God’s, which means that anything she wants to do is God’s will and thus she is exempt from law and morality.

      • Taellosse
        Taellosse
        January 6, 2019 at 12:02 pm | #

        To be fair to her, while Joyce’s code of conduct and expectations of others are thoroughly irrational and deeply hypocritical, she’s reasonably good at recognizing this when it’s pointed out to her, and changing her attitudes.

        She’s not CONSCIOUSLY a hypocrite, and tries to stop when you tell her so.

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 6, 2019 at 11:38 am | #

      I can sorta make sense of it through her eyes. (Joyce logic here, not my actual opinion) if Joyce was setting walky up, then there’s still “purity of mind” there. He could have still been pining after Dorothy. He didn’t *want* to move on, but his cooky supporting character friend made him go. True, the rotund brunette Dorothy was charming and made his heart flutter, but Dorothy was still his one true love.
      If he went to Amber himself within the past three days however, it means (again, Joyce logic not mine) he cast Dorothy aside, already forgot about her, possibly never even cared. He just wanted to move on to the next piece of ass
      Or, that’s my theory anyway.

  6. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    January 6, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    *plays The Alan Parsons Project’s “Damned If I Do” on the hacked Muzak*

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      January 6, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      *thinks now The Rolling Stones’ “A Rock And A Hard Place” is a better choice*

      • DaveM
        DaveM
        January 6, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

        It’s probably a bit obscure, but Magazine’s “Shot by both sides” works as well.

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        January 6, 2019 at 9:58 am | #

        How about Stealers Wheel’s “Stuck In Middle”?

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        January 6, 2019 at 10:42 am | #

        For Sarah, I mean.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      January 6, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

      She’s looked at Walky’s love from both sides now?

      • Dana
        Dana
        January 6, 2019 at 1:44 am | #

        But clowns got in her way.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          January 6, 2019 at 2:08 am | #

          I thought it was clouds?

          • Dana
            Dana
            January 6, 2019 at 2:59 am | #

            Pretty sure sure Walky’s not a cloud.

            • Clif
              Clif
              January 6, 2019 at 7:23 am | #

              Besides, it’s Sarah that’s in her way.

              • DarkoNeko
                DarkoNeko
                January 6, 2019 at 8:56 am | #

                Sarah would be the worst clown ever

                • Marsh Maryrose
                  Marsh Maryrose
                  January 6, 2019 at 9:43 am | #

                  I think you just sent up the Yotomoe signal.

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            January 6, 2019 at 11:41 am | #

            @ opus – it is/was, but given the cast of characters in the Dumbiverse “clowns” is probably more appropriate.

  7. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    January 6, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    In hindsight Walky I think if you were going to hide from Joyce then it was probably a bad idea to do so in her dorm room.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 6, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      He’s been hanging out with Amber, which means he’s also been around Dina recently. So he thought he might be able to vanish behind the door.

      Silly Walky, that only works for dinosaurs.

    • Clif
      Clif
      January 6, 2019 at 7:29 am | #

      No, no. It was a stroke of brilliance. Best case, she storms through the entire building looking for him while he hides in the last place she’ll look. Worse case, she gives up and returns to her room and he still has Sarah as a formidable shield to hide behind.

  8. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    January 6, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Can’t decide if I like Sarah’s face in the lastpanel more than the line “Entrapment made outta soft parts I wanna touch”.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 6, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

      Both belong on the cover of the next book.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      January 6, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

      Different editions with different subtitles for maximum collectible goodness.

      And foil covers!

      • Clif
        Clif
        January 6, 2019 at 7:30 am | #

        Foil covers are important.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          January 7, 2019 at 3:22 pm | #

          So you can wear them as a hat?

  9. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 6, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    Okay, Walky, I know you want to be a good brother now and I commend you for knowing things need to change and wanting to progress from that. I also know you’re panicking and so I’m not holding this against you too much:

    That said, I don’t think mentioning the stabbing without Sal’s permission in front of someone else is not a good example of that.

    Now, I need that sibling chat like I need air.

    PS – Sarah is the best. <3

    • Jo
      Jo
      January 6, 2019 at 12:33 am | #

      Yeah, that wasn’t a great move on Walky’s part. I can sort-of forgive it though, because he doesn’t seem to be in the headspace to really know what he’s saying. He appears to be mid-panic attack

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 6, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

        Yeah, I wouldn’t hold it against him, but I can’t help but bring it up.

      • DailyBrad
        DailyBrad
        January 6, 2019 at 12:43 am | #

        Yeah, he is, definitely. That revelation hit him like a ton of bricks, especially because I get the feeling the stabbing isn’t something he’s actively thought about for a while, and it being Walky, not something he likely ever actually fully digested when it happened.

        Which isn’t to say Walky doesn’t have complex emotions or a deep side, we’ve seen he does, but we’ve also seen he hasn’t been especially prepared for how to deal with it with his upbringing, between his bizarre machismo early in the strip he’s largely grown out of, and like Sal saying in their prior makeup, they’re not a hugging kind of family. Who’s going to talk to him about the stabbing, Linda? Not likely.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 6, 2019 at 12:40 am | #

      That should say ‘is a good example of that’ not ‘is not a good example of that’.

    • Danigami
      Danigami
      January 6, 2019 at 1:01 am | #

      Walky does have the annoying habit of blurt out very delicate information when he panics, just like with the Ruth and Billie situation

    • Felgraf
      Felgraf
      January 6, 2019 at 5:57 am | #

      Good news is Sarah doesn’t seem to actually be listening to what he’s saying (since she’s brushed it off as “Teenage Bullshit”), so.

  10. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    January 6, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    Honestly I think Sarah doesn’t see the gravity of Walkys problem here. If I was in a similar situation I don’t think I would turn a blind eye to the fact that my new girlfriend stabbed my only sibling once upon a time, maybe their relationship can get past this but I wouldn’t write this off as something trivial.

    Now if you want teen drama I think that fits what Joyce is raging about better. I’ll admit though I see why she’s mad, as highly as much as she thinks of Dorothy I see why she would be crossed with walky moving on so quickly. At first glance it feels like he didn’t take her feelings about the break up in consideration ( even though he kind of did) to have replace her so quickly when it was so hard for Dorothy herself to let him go. Though I can see why Joyce would be pissy about this I don’t think it’s something go on the warpath over. That’s melodramatic teen drama.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      January 6, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

      In othewords , Walky prioritized his feelings over the ex gf who wasn’t committed and was toying with feelings and kept dumping him. ?

      Walky always Dorothy more, shes lucky hes not stalking her. The only he didn’t fight for her was low self esteem over his math class

      • David Doty
        David Doty
        January 6, 2019 at 8:18 am | #

        Walky always the whole Dorothy?

        • Schpoonman
          Schpoonman
          January 6, 2019 at 12:45 pm | #

          The whole. Damn. Dorothy.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 10:08 pm | #

            More. (Nods vigorously )

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 6, 2019 at 2:33 pm | #

        He didn’t fight for her because he respected her priorities and didn’t want to get in the way of her work. He was already thinking of breaking up with her, so she could focus on her studies before she came up with the pause.
        Admittedly his own low self-esteem played into that (and not just from his math class), but mostly he was incredibly mature about the whole thing.

        As for Dorothy, her problem in the relationship was almost the opposite of what’s normally implied by “wasn’t committed and was toying with feelings”. She was formally not committed and completely up front about that. The problem was her own feelings kept getting more serious even though she thought they shouldn’t.
        I’m not sure what “kept dumping him” means. They went on pause as a potential solution to her falling behind in class. She couldn’t keep that commitment to stay away from him and so went for a more formal actual breakup the next day. That’s it.

    • CJ
      CJ
      January 6, 2019 at 5:17 am | #

      As she hasn’t seen the scar yet, I think we can forgive Sarah for not taking the stabbing seriously at this point. And the rest of what he’s saying boils down to ‘ sis, I’m dating someone you might have bad history with and it’s not my fault’ which _is_ teenage drama.

      • CJ
        CJ
        January 6, 2019 at 5:19 am | #

        Oh help it got a patreon mail with the link to tomorrow’s strip.
        *Must be strong and not use it*

    • Emily
      Emily
      January 6, 2019 at 6:07 am | #

      It’s entirely possible Sarah isn’t actually really listening to what Walky is saying because she simply does not care what this boy who walked into her room without her permission’s problems are.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 6, 2019 at 9:36 am | #

      That might work as an explanation for why Joyce is mad at him, except that it’s completely undermined by her trying to get him and Amber together. She didn’t get mad when she realized he was interested in Amber, but only when Billie let on they’d already connected.

  11. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    January 6, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    Joyce, I thought you were doing better, but maybe let Sal be tge one to do that, if she wants to at all. You have absolutely no right, and your fucked up view of relationships will only do more harm than good.

    • Zero
      Zero
      January 6, 2019 at 2:12 am | #

      Why Sal? Sal doesn’t have anything to do with why Joyce is mad at him.

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        January 6, 2019 at 11:34 pm | #

        My brain was on auto pilot, I said Sal without thinking about it, meant Dorothy.

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 6, 2019 at 11:43 am | #

      This has nothing to do with the stabbing incident

  12. Kit M. Harding
    Kit M. Harding
    January 6, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    Why did he think going into Joyce’s room was going to help him hide from her?

    • meep
      meep
      January 6, 2019 at 12:28 am | #

      Walky is not good at the thinky-thinky stuff when panicking

    • Vukodlak
      Vukodlak
      January 6, 2019 at 12:35 am | #

      Maybe he figured it’s be the last place she look. Like when Calvin hid from his mom in the tub to avoid taking a bath.
      http://assets.amuniversal.com/21016b305eb70135e16b005056a9545d.jpg

      • meep
        meep
        January 6, 2019 at 1:21 am | #

        Yes, but unlike Calvin’s mom, if Joyce would have reason to return to her room if she stopped looking for him. Calvin’s Mom doesn’t keep her all her things in the bathroom or sleep in the bathtub.

        • Vukodlak
          Vukodlak
          January 6, 2019 at 1:50 am | #

          He only has to hide there until he works up the courage to talk to his sister.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 8:03 am | #

            So, two or three weeks, max.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              January 6, 2019 at 8:34 am | #

              Comic time, so sometime around 2024.

  13. Joe Moose
    Joe Moose
    January 6, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    “Entrapment made outta soft parts I wanna touch” better be the title of the next volume. And if it isn’t then I’m totally kidnapping the line.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      January 6, 2019 at 12:26 am | #

      Obv ideal for Walky Amber slipshine

      • Clif
        Clif
        January 6, 2019 at 8:04 am | #

        I know a band name when I hear one.

  14. Roger
    Roger
    January 6, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    joyce really got that energy back real quick.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      January 6, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      She is still trying to tell everyone how to how they should be and how to run their lives. Not to the same intolerant bigoted standard as the other month, but…

      • meep
        meep
        January 6, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

        Joyce is a mega-shipper, being left out of the shipping loops is a terrible offense

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          January 6, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

          So, blockaded from the seas of love?

  15. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    January 6, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    Has Joyce opened her mouth so much to yell at anyone lately? (Maybe her jerk brother at the restaurant?)

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

      Probably that, or maybe art Joe during the toe incident.

      Jeez, the thing with her brother has to be like, two weeks ago at the most. No wonder Joyce is touchy.

      • vlademir1
        vlademir1
        January 6, 2019 at 1:13 am | #

        At this moment it’s near exactly 13 days ago for her.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        January 6, 2019 at 7:36 pm | #

        Good point. I will try to separate this from the “excited utterance” category, like Toedad kidnapping Becky, or the Toebreaker incident.

  16. avistel
    avistel
    January 6, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

    I’m gonna be really cross if nobody says to Joyce something to the effect of “fuck off and mind your own business, you psycho”

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

      Wait it out, I guess. The thing with Sal ended up going way smoother than any of us expected, so she might be due for another breakthrough.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      January 6, 2019 at 12:47 am | #

      It’ll need to be Sarah, Dorothy or Ethan. Nobody else has the right hold on her for it to matter. Well, Becky would but Becky’s probably half the reason she’s like this to begin with.

      • Abel Undercity
        Abel Undercity
        January 6, 2019 at 5:34 am | #

        And judging by the look on Sarah’s face in the last panel, today just might be the day.

    • woobie
      woobie
      January 6, 2019 at 2:51 am | #

      Isn’t Joyce based on Willis?

  17. AntJ
    AntJ
    January 6, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

    This is exactly the reaction I wanted Walky to have

  18. Jabberwocky
    Jabberwocky
    January 6, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    sarah are you not nineteen

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

      She’s a lawyer in training, plus she has that Raidah baggage. She’s trying very hard to be above stuff she’s not especially above.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      January 6, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

      Despite what you might think, many people will argue at great length that 19 year old people are not teenagers.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 6, 2019 at 8:42 am | #

        Nineteen-year-olds would argue that, older adults with more experience beg to differ, and said nineteen-year-olds just roll their eyes back at them.

        Personally I remember how much it sucked to not be taken seriously at that age, but my perspective has changed so much since then that I fall into the “lol whatever you’re still a kid” line of thinking more than I care to.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 6, 2019 at 4:30 pm | #

          Yeah, no, a nineteen year old is an adult. A young, new adult who’s still figuring out how they’re going to adult, like anybody trying something new, but still an adult. And frankly, you shouldn’t be laughing at and dismissing teenagers or children either, because A) You remember how infuriating it is not to be taken seriously and B) You’re not necessarily smarter, wiser, more mature or more compassionate about the given subject just because you’re older.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            January 6, 2019 at 6:45 pm | #

            Hence the “more than I care to”. I empathise with Sarah here, Walky and Joyce are pulling some childish shennanigans I’d just roll my eyes at in her position.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 6, 2019 at 10:16 pm | #

              I get that. I misunderstood your post. I’m sorry about that.

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                January 7, 2019 at 2:25 am | #

                S’all good.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 6, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

      She’s probably using it to mean ‘not a minor’. Whatever else she is, Sarah is an adult.

    • Alanari
      Alanari
      January 6, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

      Plus, I’m pretty sure this stuff could evolve in a big drama at any age. The central element is a crippled hand, that’s not something you grow out of

    • DSL
      DSL
      January 6, 2019 at 3:07 am | #

      “Teenager” (or “child,” or “adolescent,” or “adult,” for that matter) is as much a state of mind as it is a number on a calendar. And one’s membership in any of the listed categories is not restricted to one-at-a-time.

  19. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    January 6, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

    I’m going to be honest I don’t get the SNL joke, I feel like I’m missing a major pop culture reference and I’m disappointed in myself because of so.

    • chrisashtear
      chrisashtear
      January 6, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

      maybe “Jayne, you ignorant slut”? Only thing that comes to mind

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

      Dollars to donuts that Willis is referring to “Jane, you ignorant slut!”, from when Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin would do Weekend Update.

    • Jay
      Jay
      January 6, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

      Aaaww MAN!! I was hoping the comments would instead be filled to overflowing with young folk who don’t know the “ignorant slut” quote! That joke is ANCIENT, but still hilarious. A comment section filled with bewildered fans asking “Wat’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis??” would have been doubly so.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        January 6, 2019 at 1:08 am | #

        Personally I was hoping for the comments section to be filled with a various assortment of different SNL quotes as we all try to guess which is the one the alt-text is referring to.

        • DailyBrad
          DailyBrad
          January 6, 2019 at 1:14 am | #

          “That’s the ticket!”
          -Jon Lovitz, voice of the Head Alien

        • DSL
          DSL
          January 6, 2019 at 3:13 am | #

          Cheeburger Cheeburger Cheeburger at the Olympia Cafe. No Coke, Pepsi!

        • Charlie Spencer
          Charlie Spencer
          January 6, 2019 at 6:33 am | #

          “We are, two wild and crazy guys!”

      • Gregg Fielding
        Gregg Fielding
        January 6, 2019 at 1:58 am | #

        Let me tell you children, of a time when the world did not know of Will Ferrell . . .

        • jeffepp
          jeffepp
          January 6, 2019 at 10:36 am | #

          It was truly a golden age.

      • Arian
        Arian
        January 6, 2019 at 4:36 am | #

        Well, I’m not a young person, but I didn’t know the quote. It’s only by chance that I even know what SNL stands for; I’ve definitely never seen it. So it’s a good thing a few people decided to reveal the quote, rather than assuming that Of Course Everyone Knows That.

      • Abel Undercity
        Abel Undercity
        January 6, 2019 at 5:36 am | #

        “Walky, you ignorant slut!”

        … you know what, that totally fits.

        • Clif
          Clif
          January 6, 2019 at 8:20 am | #

          It does.

      • showler
        showler
        January 6, 2019 at 10:14 am | #

        Didn’t the “Jane you…” comment get a retread recently when Jane Curtin went on TV and told people her opinion of Trump.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 6, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

      Yeah, I have no idea what old SNL line I’m supposed to be quoting in the comments either.

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      January 6, 2019 at 6:28 am | #

      Gather ’round, children.

      Back in the old days, the three TV networks were required by the FCC to present both sides of a position, something called the Fairness Doctrine. CBS had a morning news program (real news, not happy bubbleheads), and once a week or so it included a segment called ‘Point / Counterpoint’ . James Kilpartrick and Shana Alexander would get a few minutes each to present the highs and lows of each side of a current hot topic.

      This was still a recognized pop culture touchstone when SNL started, and they included a version of it the Weekend Update segment. Jane Curtain would lay out a reasoned position; Dan Ackroyd would reply with a series of personal attacks that always began with, “Jane, you ignorant slut!” I clearly remember “When will you and your loose-moraled liberal friends learn you just can’t run a country this way? Who did you have to sleep with to get this job, anyhow?” You know, more like how political topics are routinely debated these days, only not just for entertainment purposes.

      Now, go out and play. Gramps has to go take his Metamucil.

      • DSL
        DSL
        January 6, 2019 at 11:31 am | #

        The right wing tends to respond to satire of it in a two-step process: Take great umbrage, then take the satire as an instruction manual.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        January 7, 2019 at 3:28 pm | #

        And then Jane would rip her blouse open.

  20. AntJ
    AntJ
    January 6, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 9: Entrapment Made Out of Soft Parts I Wanna Touch

    If Joyce’s character is arcing in the direction I think it is, I think this could actually be a super relevant title

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

      True, though, Jacob and Joe seem like the potential options for that, and both are of those guys are lacking in soft parts for the most part. Between those two and Ethan, Joyce sure likes her some burly dudes.

      • AntJ
        AntJ
        January 6, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

        I’ve shipped Joyce with Joe ever since he saved her a plain donut and she was the only one to get through to him. Then the Toebreaker scene reinforced that, with the way Joe looked at Jacob and Joyce together. He’s stated he doesn’t want to end up like his father, and Joyce represents the opposite path in sexuality. I think Joe sees Joyce as a forbidden fruit, too. To Joyce, Joe epitomizes the things she was taught to hate which she’s coming to learn aren’t so bad; he’s her path into uncharted territory. Also, she specifically found HIS porno, not some random one on ScrooToob, but the video she knew would co-star him.

        • DailyBrad
          DailyBrad
          January 6, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

          I’ve shipped them for a while, too, I think starting with it being shown they text regularly because Joyce knows her understands her parent issues, but yeah, the donut stuff and the toebreaker stuff reinforced it, especially with her surprising reaction to her realizing what he was saying with that she *could* get Jacob, and him bailing with Malaya for what I can only imagine is going to be a humdinger of a conversation whenever it does pick up again. They’ve been kept separated since, so I am expecting it’s probably going to lead to something.

      • AntJ
        AntJ
        January 6, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

        Also – “Joyce sure likes her some burly dudes” is something Amazi-Girl hinted at back in the Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit sequence. Due to her agoraphobia and trauma from being roofied in the first week, Joyce surrounds herself with jacked dudes like Jacob and Ethan because she needs protectors and guardians to feel secure.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 6, 2019 at 1:01 am | #

      Dumbing of Age Book 9: This Is Teenager Drama And I Do Not Give One Tiny Shit

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 6, 2019 at 11:51 am | #

      I ship it too, HOWEVER I don’t want them to get together until they’ve had some more personal growth. Joe is on a good path, we haven’t been able to see how he’s doing after the whole Malaya thing. He still needs to grow past the point of hooking up with girls to avoid talking about his feelings.
      Joyce herself has grown a lot since their date and apologized which is great, but I feel like she still needs to figure out her boundary issues before dating anyone

  21. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    January 6, 2019 at 12:20 am | #

    Willis just keeps taunting us with obvious book titles he’s not going to use:

    “This Is Teenager Drama and I Do Not Give One Tiny Shit”

    “Walky, You Degenerate Sleaze”

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      January 6, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

      The first one works so well.

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      January 6, 2019 at 12:29 am | #

      At this rate, the real title is going to have to be “Dumbing of Age Book 9: Too Many Lines In This Book Make for Good Titles”, or something like that.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        January 6, 2019 at 12:42 am | #

        “Dumbing of Age Book 9: Insert Random Quote From Random Panel of Random Strip”

        • Clif
          Clif
          January 6, 2019 at 8:25 am | #

          DOA9: Sorry for slobbering all over the girl who stabbed the crapola out of your hand.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 6, 2019 at 9:59 pm | #

            You have to admit, that would be pretty random.

  22. Cholma
    Cholma
    January 6, 2019 at 12:20 am | #

    Which SNL quote? “Jane, you ignorant slut!” ?

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:22 am | #

      Yeah, almost certainly

  23. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    January 6, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

    …What kind of people did Sarah hang out with growing up if she thinks this is typical teenage drama?

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      January 7, 2019 at 3:30 pm | #

      She went to Degrassi.

  24. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    January 6, 2019 at 12:26 am | #

    Sarah, by what merit is this teenager drama? I’ve never had to come to terms with the girl that I hooked up with has stabbed my sister. I mean. I wasn’t very popular though so…

    • Jo
      Jo
      January 6, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

      That was my thought as well. Both Sal and Amber are suffering from trauma from that incident and it has shaped their lives. The only thing I can think of is that Walky so quickly and anxiously jumped to how much he wants to be touching Amber’s soft parts, that Sarah completely missed the gravity of the situation.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      January 6, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

      Guessing she wasn’t especially listening, because even for Sarah, a stabbing is something that’d merit a little more notice than that.

    • Sam
      Sam
      January 6, 2019 at 5:49 am | #

      The part where he was kissing someone he arguably should not have been based on social reasons. That’s enough for Sarah to go ‘this is going to blow up into something dramatic, and I want nothing to do with it or its fallout’.

  25. Spack
    Spack
    January 6, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

    Apparently not, but here, let me help.

    “Jane, you ignorant slut”

    You’re welcome. (bows)

    • Spack
      Spack
      January 6, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

      I, for one, have no uncertainty of what was being referenced.

      • DT
        DT
        January 6, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

        You definitely have the right avatar for your two comments.

  26. Kittie
    Kittie
    January 6, 2019 at 12:36 am | #

    Sarah continues to be my least favorite of the decent humans in this strip.

    • Nikol Geier
      Nikol Geier
      January 6, 2019 at 12:48 am | #

      I do think it’s interesting to consider the three possibilities Sarah’s *extremely* rude remark offer:

      1. Sarah heard him clearly and is just being really rude because she dislikes Walky (and in *some* fairness, he *is* kind of a guy who’s surprised her in her dorm room, which is kiiiinda a no-no).

      2. Sarah didn’t register what he said and is being rude, but would feel bad if she understood that this was more than just “im nervous because my sis doesnt like my gf”. Sarah really doesn’t have any context here, and maybe she just tuned out the “stabbing” stuff.

      3. Sarah actually sees stabbing as “teenage drama”, which suggests she’s had a rougher childhood than she’s ever alluded to. A reminder that Sarah, one of the longest-established characters in this comic, has *never* had any exposition on her backstory before college. That’s kind of huge—I dare you to think of a single character as longest-running as Sarah who hasn’t had at least some fleshing out. Sarah doesn’t like talking about her past, but we know she’s poor and wants to succeed at any cost.

      I have known people irl who came from backgrounds where “so-and-so got in a fight and stabbed so-and-so” *is* kind of just “teenage drama”. Sarah might legitimately see this as the exact kind of thing she wants to get away from by becoming a successful lawyer.

      • Nikol Geier
        Nikol Geier
        January 6, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

        “as longest-running” good writing nikol

        Anyways, Sarah’s definitely still being a jerk here. I usually defend her, but her line is just outright *mean* regardless of her intentions. But after thinking about it, and realizing how little we know about Sarah, I honestly do wonder if Willis is intentionally making her seem insanely dismissive to point to her rarely-discussed past.

        Regardless, Sarah really is badly in need of more fleshing-out in general. All we know about her is that she takes her studies very, very seriously, and we know why she hates people. But the latter is actually a pretty recent development (she’s always been shy, but only recently has she turned outright hostile). We honestly know insanely little about who she is. Compare her to Amber, Sal, Joyce, Billie, Ruth, even *Mike* of late.

        Mike! We know more about Mike’s life before college than Sarah’s! That is crazy to me!

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 6, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

          Sarah was referring to herself as a ‘bongo-y killjoy misanthropist’ in freshman year. That crustiness isn’t new, but the situation with Dina didn’t help, no.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            January 6, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

            Dana

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 6, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

              GodDAMN, I am sucking with typos today.

          • Nikol Geier
            Nikol Geier
            January 6, 2019 at 1:03 am | #

            Yeah, I did think about mentioning that, but honestly? The joke there was how harshly Sarah always refers to people, including herself. Everyone else generally just saw her as shy or introverted, if her roommate’s to be believed. Back then, “misanthrope” was seen as overstatement.

            I do wish I hadn’t used the exact same word she used, though. 😛

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 6, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

              Sarah prefers her words. 😛

    • Kinoko
      Kinoko
      January 6, 2019 at 1:32 am | #

      “Least favorite of decent humans.”

      Why with the rankings? I’m genuinely curious. Will the comments section ever believe that some flavors of shit can be toxic to one person while being acceptable but not great behavior to another?

      I don’t mean to imply that toxic behavior shouldn’t be called out as such; it absolutely should. It’s just that the nuance that different things bother different people seem to get muddied in this rush to categorize everyone in order of worst to best human. It’s weird to me.

      • Nikol Geier
        Nikol Geier
        January 6, 2019 at 1:41 am | #

        I think the OP is trying to be clear that while they find Sarah grating, she’s obviously not as bad as Blaine and Mary and the rest of that lot.

        • Nikol Geier
          Nikol Geier
          January 6, 2019 at 1:42 am | #

          Sorry, I think I misread you.

      • Kittie
        Kittie
        January 6, 2019 at 2:41 am | #

        I… Genuinely have no idea what you’re getting at with this comment. I’m sorry.

        Nikol is right in their interpretation of what I meant though.

        • Kinoko
          Kinoko
          January 6, 2019 at 12:06 pm | #

          It’s okay, this is by far one of the least egregious examples I’ve seen here of ranking the characters from worst to best. I think I’m brining my own weird hangups to the thread, though, and for that I apologize. Carry on doing what makes you happy!

      • Zee
        Zee
        January 6, 2019 at 11:59 am | #

        Well, it’s kinda human nature to try and categorize things

  27. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    January 6, 2019 at 12:37 am | #

    Oh man,
    If the Alt-Text isn’t expecting ”
    “Joyce, ( Jane) , You ignorant slut” , then i give up.

    If the text changes to Slongo, i guess I win.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      January 6, 2019 at 12:38 am | #

      Dammit!

  28. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    January 6, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

    Fuck off, Joyce.

  29. brionl
    brionl
    January 6, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

    I come bearing links:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVtZkyBTabQ

  30. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    January 6, 2019 at 1:05 am | #

    Sarah is trying her very best to be a grownup, bless her heart.

    I’m from the Midwest.

  31. BarerMender
    BarerMender
    January 6, 2019 at 1:25 am | #

    Joyce, you overbearing skank. Butt out.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      January 6, 2019 at 1:48 am | #

      Uh, Joyce? Matthew 7:1.

  32. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    January 6, 2019 at 1:40 am | #

    “First of all, this is teenager drama.” Words of wisdom from Sarah, who as a sophomore is what? Maybe all of twenty years old herself?

    • Zero
      Zero
      January 6, 2019 at 2:03 am | #

      She must have had a rough time as a teenager.

      Also, isn’t she a teenager? Or barely not one.

      • Sam
        Sam
        January 6, 2019 at 5:52 am | #

        You can be a teenager and still hate the drama of other teenagers and want nothing to do with it.

  33. Inahc
    Inahc
    January 6, 2019 at 2:04 am | #

    Off topic, but a week or two ago someone here linked to Leif & Thorn, and I wanted to both thank and curse them. 🙂 I was still binge-reading it Christmas Eve, and just finished But I’m A Cat Person today.

  34. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    January 6, 2019 at 2:06 am | #

    It was “Jane you ignorant slut” and whatever the guy’s name was “… you degenerate sleazeball.” Of course that was more than 40 years ago so my memory may not be the best about that. I remember it was Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain so it might have been “Dan you degenerate sleaze(ball?)”

    But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t anyone called “Walky”.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      January 6, 2019 at 2:54 am | #

      Dan

  35. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    January 6, 2019 at 2:43 am | #

    I don’t watch SNL, so here ‘s that classic line from Troy instead: “Sack of wine!”

  36. David H. Adler
    David H. Adler
    January 6, 2019 at 3:26 am | #

    Oh, for the days when I considered Saturday Night worth watching.

    Yeah, I’m old. 😐

  37. BenRG
    BenRG
    January 6, 2019 at 3:41 am | #

    I’m sorry, Sarah, but you are in entirely the wrong universe to avoid been swept along by the tides of teenage drama!

  38. Bagge
    Bagge
    January 6, 2019 at 4:18 am | #

    Sarah: Avoiding teenage drama. It’s not super effective.

  39. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    January 6, 2019 at 5:03 am | #

    I want to grab both Joyce and Walky and smack them upside the head. Joyce for immediately going into Walky being an ass just because he dated Amber so soon, and Walky for leaving Amber worried she messed up and not just going, “Yo sis, I didn’t know the girl I’m dating now was the one who stabbed you. Is that an issue? I don’t want to be a dick by dating somebody you might have PTSD merely looking at”

    • Emily
      Emily
      January 6, 2019 at 5:58 am | #

      Walky has literally no obligation to worry about Amber’s feelings here. If she feels bad well good it means she’s not a horrible person and maybe she should spend some time with that guilt and come to terms with it instead of immediately being soothed like a colicky baby. Walky still hasn’t even figured out his feelings about this and you’re asking him to also handle Amber’s for her when he has every reason to be mad at her?

    • OBBWG
      OBBWG
      January 6, 2019 at 10:53 am | #

      In Walky’s defense, this is heavy stuff. He is legitimately confused about what to do. He found out about this less than an hour ago. He needs time to think, which is what he tried (and failed) to tell Amber. His conversation with Sal is going to be one of the most awkward and difficult discussions of his life. Walky deserves some time to get his head together before talking to Sal.

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 6, 2019 at 12:21 pm | #

      SHE STABBED
      HIS SISTER
      THIS IS ENTIRELY THE RIGHT RESPONSE
      Anyone who would be totally chill about their girlfriend stabbing their sister is a fucking psychopath unless the sister is some sort of abusive tyrant.
      The only thing walky should be smacked for here is going into a girls dorm without permission
      Fuck Amber’s feelings, She should feel like she messed up because did, by knowingly dating the brother of that girl she stabbed and not telling him. Also lying about changing his grades which could get them both kicked out

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 6, 2019 at 2:38 pm | #

        Note that Amber didn’t know he was Sal’s brother when they first made out. She found out on the rooftop when Sal confronted them late at night. Sal and Amber had their fight the next day and she’s telling him the day after.

        I think she can get cut a little slack on not turning around and telling him instantly.

        • newllend(henryvolt)
          newllend(henryvolt)
          January 6, 2019 at 5:23 pm | #

          Yeah to be fair it took just a little over a day to come clean about it after she found out. I say that’s making good time…..then again she did only come clean about it sooner than planned because she got into a fight with his sister where she inflicted more bodily harm tword her so yeah that’s a bit of a takeaway.

          • Emily
            Emily
            January 6, 2019 at 5:52 pm | #

            You say sooner than planned like she had a time frame other than “preferably never” in mind.

    • the final pam
      the final pam
      January 6, 2019 at 5:35 pm | #

      Walky does not need to comfort Amber, especially over such a heavy truth reveal like that. He needs time to sort through his feelings and also talk to Sal about it, and while it may not be nice, Walky has 0 obligation to put Amber’s needs over his own or his sister’s when Walky is too confused and upset to know what he’s feeling right now.

      Also, of note: Walky didn’t even blow up on Amber. He didn’t say anything or criticize Amber or anything. He just said “I don’t know, I need to think about this” and left. He has every right to say this and every right to feel this way, and there’s absolutely no reason for him to put that all aside to comfort Amber and assure her she didn’t do anything wrong by stabbing his sister and then getting into a physical fight with her over it.

      • TemperaryObsessor
        TemperaryObsessor
        January 6, 2019 at 6:55 pm | #

        Yea Walky is entitled to his own feelings about this situation and its not fair to ask him to put those aside to comfort Amber. And its legitimate to ask his sister for her own feelings himself before he decides whether this is a deal breaker instead of taking Amber’s word for it.
        For some reason this discussion reminds me of the episode of Gargoyles where Goliath was cloned by his enemy without his permission. So he didn’t instantly take to the idea of being cloned and when confronted with it might have vocalized his feelings. His girlfriend pointed out it wasn’t the clones fault and he turned around pretty quickly but the damage had been done(although I’m not sure things would have worked out otherwise). Even in that story I didn’t think Goliath was wrong to have his initial reaction.
        Amber actually did the thing which caused this rift even if it was years ago, and Amber is an adult who shouldn’t expect someone to stow away their feelings about things that effect them so they can comfort her.

        • the final pam
          the final pam
          January 6, 2019 at 8:41 pm | #

          Yeah, for sure. It’s absolutely reasonable for Amber to worry about if she messed up, because she did. Even if it was years ago, it still had a pretty impactful relationship on Sal and especially Sal’s relationship with her family, and that’s not something that just.. goes away, because Sal said she forgave her. It’s complicated. It’d be similar to finding out you’re dating the childhood bully of your sibling. It’s a complicated issue and it’s not something that you can- or should- put aside your own feelings and the feelings of other people around you to comfort your partner over their past actions. Amber even recognized that Walky might hate her after finding out, which is, again, completely reasonable. Even if it hadn’t been his sister who got stabbed, finding out that she stabbed someone is kind of a Big Deal. And it can absolutely be a deal breaker.

  40. Raen
    Raen
    January 6, 2019 at 5:06 am | #

    I’m David Pumpkins, and I’m here to scare the hell out of you!

    …that’s what we were talking about, right?

  41. kilgaen
    kilgaen
    January 6, 2019 at 5:13 am | #

    Oh, no. He really is the one trapped with all the awkward conversations.

  42. Nono
    Nono
    January 6, 2019 at 5:34 am | #

    Aaaaand just like that Joyce is back to being unlikable.

    • JBento
      JBento
      January 6, 2019 at 8:12 am | #

      She very rarely stops being unlikeable for me.

  43. Emily
    Emily
    January 6, 2019 at 5:54 am | #

    Ahhh “degenerate” evryone’s favourite conservative dehumanizing buzzword.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      January 6, 2019 at 3:12 pm | #

      Ironic though I use that word to refer to certain Grossly immoral conservative individuals such as individual #1 a.k.a president dick head himself.

  44. JBento
    JBento
    January 6, 2019 at 8:12 am | #

    90% of people’s reactions to what comes out of Joyce’s mouth should be “Fuck off, it’s none of your business.”

    • Sam
      Sam
      January 6, 2019 at 10:32 am | #

      To be fair, it makes sense that she is mad at him in this instance at least, a lot of people would be if one of their closest friends’s ex was dating someone else practically three seconds after their amiacible break-up without giving themselves both space to recover. Her reasoning is most definitely likely to some degree faulty for as to why considering she was perfectly fine pairing him up with Amber herself as apparently matchmaking is always okay in Joyce’s mind.

      • Nono
        Nono
        January 6, 2019 at 11:17 am | #

        It’s fine if Joyce or Dorothy do something to Walky, because he’s a turd.

        It’s not okay if he shows any agency.

        Joyce just has double standards, whether it’s because of her worship of Dorothy, her despise of Walky, or a little of both.

      • theKOT
        theKOT
        January 6, 2019 at 11:18 am | #

        I don’t think you are required to remain single for a certain amount of time in consideration of the other person once you break up. Why is this a thing people think?

        • Sam
          Sam
          January 6, 2019 at 4:09 pm | #

          Several reasons:

          1) It can seem uncaring and like you are trivalising your previous relationship when your break-up was mostly mutual and accepted by both parties to jump into another relationship right away, knowing it will likely still be raw for this other person. Since you were close to this person, you are usually expected to care? And to want to be considerate? Because the break-up already hurt them so why, if you care about them, would you instantly want to add more pain to the situation?

          2) Often it is bad for yourself as usually an immediate relationship becomes a rebound. And using someone else to avoid processing your emotions or to have them make you process, tends to result in this relationship forming around negative feelings and then breaking up with them once they are no longer able to magically make you feel better. It isn’t nice to use other people as a therapist or coping mechanism and it may in fact not work, but simply make you feel like a failure at relationships if they break-up with you when they recognise you are using them as a rebound. This can lead to you then trying to get over multiple break-ups in quick succession and simply adding more layers to your pain rather than learning to exist alone again and to process your feeling about it.

          3) Can send an image that you weren’t actually invested and had other options waiting in the wings the whole time. This is often true with guys even. Women are more likely to take a short break from dating immediately after a break-up and be single for a while, while a man will usually start forging a new relationship to jump into before the old one has even ended.

          4) There isn’t a downside to waiting a week or two and to spend some time focused on other things. If being single is completely unbearable to you, that is often a sign you have attachment issues to sort out.

          5) There is no entitlement to a mourning period, but socially, people will think it is a jerk move to start dating someone else immediately in the same way that if you friend was robbed, you wouldn’t be expected to be making thief/robber jokes to their face 5 seconds after finding out about it.

          Socially, as a human being, you are expected to not do something you know will make someone feel worse – you’re not expected to NEVER be allowed to do the thing, but to have the decency to let the pain be less raw before acting.

          • theKOT
            theKOT
            January 6, 2019 at 6:03 pm | #

            I completely disagree with most of your points – most notably, people can feel bad about anything and interpret it as harmful to them if they want. Also, there’s no guarantee that the timing for a new relationship will be right in a few weeks, so yes, there can be a downside.

            But I do admit you answered my question of why, even if I wholeheartedly disagree.

          • TemperaryObsessor
            TemperaryObsessor
            January 6, 2019 at 8:36 pm | #

            Much of this seems like things to consider especially if there is a pattern but not absolute reasons.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              January 6, 2019 at 9:33 pm | #

              Like most things in human relationships. (At least in most current cultures – in some there were much stricter rules.)

              Things you should be concerned about and consider, out of respect and concern for those you care about. Things that others may look askance at, because it will appear as if you do not have that respect and concern.

              Reasons to be wary of moving too quickly, but not absolute reasons to never do so.

      • JBento
        JBento
        January 6, 2019 at 11:44 am | #

        EVEN if she wasn’t oh so eager to pair him off with Amber, relationships aren’t entitled to mourning periods. Joyce certainly doesn’t think they are, seeing as she spent half an arc trying to break up an EXISTING relationship.

        • Sam
          Sam
          January 6, 2019 at 3:19 pm | #

          They might not be entitled to it, but that doesn’t make it less of a jerk move in people’s eyes to do something you know will hurt someone else that you have stated and shown you care about previously.

          • JBento
            JBento
            January 6, 2019 at 4:36 pm | #

            And yet Joyce had no issue with the Walky/Amber relationship when she thought she was having a hand in it.

          • the final pam
            the final pam
            January 6, 2019 at 5:26 pm | #

            It might be a jerk move in other people’s eyes, but that doesn’t justify anyone going around screaming about what a degenerate sleaze they are. That’s also a giant jerk move. Joyce can be upset or concerned about Dorothy and her feelings in this, but ultimately it has nothing to do with her what Walky does with other people.

  45. Zee
    Zee
    January 6, 2019 at 12:25 pm | #

    In which Joyce becomes Tenko Chabashira for a second
    I consistently mix up SNL and NFL so I was very confused at the idea of the NFL being highly quotable

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      January 6, 2019 at 12:56 pm | #

      The only sports quotes that I can come up with are “I’m a man! I’m 40!” “Aaand boom goes the dynamite,” and “…Oh.”

  46. Whatt
    Whatt
    January 6, 2019 at 1:03 pm | #

    I mean, cmon Sarah. Cut Walky some slack! Joyce in mad mode is a zone you wanna stay out of.

  47. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    January 6, 2019 at 4:48 pm | #

    I’m hella down for that old SNL quote!

    “I found out I’m THE DEVIL! And I will wash over the Earth, and the seas will run red with all the blood of all the sinners!”

    • Clif
      Clif
      January 6, 2019 at 9:52 pm | #

      And I’ve got you to thank.

  48. emusam
    emusam
    January 6, 2019 at 7:20 pm | #

    I wonder how much of this is projected guilt for having read the fanfic.

  49. Jacob Huffman
    Jacob Huffman
    January 6, 2019 at 8:53 pm | #

    >telling your friends that their problems are stupid teenager drama
    Oh my god
    I’m Sarah

  50. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    January 6, 2019 at 10:30 pm | #

    Joyce: WALKY, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!

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