Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Countdown to Countdown
Velinxi
Iris Black is a self-proclaimed inventor with the curious ability to bring his drawings to life, and yearns to find a space where he can use his powers freely.
Come Hell or High Water
Jenny/Star, Mori
Prince Gladimir was never meant to fall for a pirate. Swearing off love for duty, the threat of war propels him back into the Captain’s world of high seas and high stakes. Their relationship could be the thing to save the kingdom of Yvoire - or destroy it.
Spinnerette
Krazy Krow, Rocio Zucchi, Pablo Rey
When a lab accident gives Heather Brown spider powers and six arms, she does what any midwest comic geek would do: Become Ohio's #3 superhero!
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
El Goonish Shive
Dan Shive
WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
2 Slices
RJ Morel
After a case of mistaken identity, will awkward Daisuke find help from excitable Mamo, or will his love life be thrown completely off track?
Hazy London
Scotty
A story about messy relationships. From friendly foes to crazy families. Nothing is black and white, just full of color. But, all colors can get a little hazy...
Lunar Blight
Studio CARTRIDGE, Laura Lee
Lunar Blight is a gothic horror story about an elite knight serving a moon cult who must choose between upholding his honoured duty or condemning everything he’s grown to know.
Heart of Gold
Eliot Baum, Viv Tanner
A pianist with failing eyesight seeks out a priest with a miraculous healing touch, drawing him deeper into a world of miracles and curses.
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
Awaken
Koti Saavedra/Flipfloppery
Superpowers, monsters and conspiracies. Piras, the spoiled Dameschi heir, fights to recover his identity after becoming a terrorist!
MASKLESS
kickingshoes
In a world where people can wield the magic of elemental Masks, all Ashe wants to do is help. Maskless and useless, with dreams of fire and smoke on the back of his tongue, he finds himself on a strange, dangerous path to uncovering the secrets of these incredible objects, and the source of the monsters plaguing his home.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Drugs & Wires
Mary Safro, Io Black
Dan used to be a VR operator until his brain got fried by malware. Now he's stuck delivering packages in a post-Soviet hellhole all while trying to adjust to his new life and find some answers.
Solstoria
Angelica Maria
After her brother goes missing, Samantha vows to become a Knight and help those around her in the Kingdom of St. Helena.
Demon Studies
Miyuli
Four students summon and study potentially dangerous demons within the walls of the mysterious Summerland University.
The Witch Door
Anni K.
Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
No End
Erli, Kromi
A queer romance about people attempting to build lives in a cold, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by hordes of undead.
Fairmeadow
Kendra P. / KP
A wayward soldier finds herself in a pacifist commune deep in the wilderness of a war-weary land. Living in isolation brings her closer to those she was sworn to kill than she could ever imagine - but also threatens to tear the place apart.
Goblins
Ellipsis
A fantasy RPG as told through the eyes of the low-level monsters.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Patrik the Vampire
Bree Paulsen
Patrik loves to knit, bake, and help his friends while dealing with his own demons... like his thirst for blood because, oh yeah--he's a vampire.
Anacrine Complex
Sae Cotton
A superhuman heist involving probably too many pigeons than entirely necessary.
Killjoys
Flatw00ds
When two disgraced ex-feds fall backwards into trouble with the clown mafia, getting out in one piece is gonna be no joke!
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
The Otherknown
Lorian Merriman
Chandra is a 12-year-old accidental time traveler with a reluctant new dad, who happens to be a member of a feared galactic crime syndicate.
Tove
Severin
The end of the world is coming, and Tove doesn't want to be a hero, but SOMEONE has to look after her little brother.
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
Sunshine Boy
Moosopp
New-kid Kelly is sweet but naive. Luckily, he's got his outgoing neighbor Grey in his corner.
Monster Pulse
Magnolia Porter Siddell
Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
Clockwork
Chikuto
Cog Kleinschmidt is a diligent, quiet worker at the Mercia Fortress, the world power's leading stronghold. His orderly life is thrown into chaos when an enemy kingdom sends a diplomat for peace talks. This diplomat needs something from Cog - whether he agrees to their terms or not!
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Far to the North
Allison Shaw
Kelu turns to the monsters of her remote mountain home when her family is held hostage by outsiders.
Wychwood
Varethane
When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Go Get a Roomie
Clover
Experience the queer journey of an upbeat hippie and the friendships she makes along the way! A tale of self-discovery and love of many forms.
Obelisk
Ashley McCammon
In 1908 New York, a young woman struggles to put her life back together in the wake of her father's death - until she discovers a vampire in the shambles of her inheritance.
Folklore
Adam Ma, Colin Tan Wei
A superhuman horror story focused on a small band of survivors trying to navigate a war-torn world in the aftermath of the Federation’s collapse.
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
Whomp!
Ronnie
A depressed, portly, hirsute anime fan stumbles through life in the ever-pursuit of chicken nuggets and other life-shortening indulgences.
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Gotta remember that full-face motorcycles have limited peripheral vision. I commonly make that kind of movement when I’m glancing back at a passenger. It’s either that or lean way to the side and pivot your hips enough to look directly at them, which – while fun – sometimes can be disconcerting to said passenger.
Rule 42: For any aspiring writers, don’t write a story while you are depressed.
Addendum: And don’t make your main character a complete whining pansy and the ending a complete nonsense.
Rule 56: Emotionless girls are not cute or hot in the slightest. They are as creepy as a marionette and therefore should be called marionettes instead.
Rule 57: If your lawn gnomes get repossessed, do not dress your son or daughter as one and make them stand outside the house. Chances are they grow to become a bitter evil scientist.
Rule 58: For the fans out there, if you don’t like an ending to a series, don’t send death threats to the director/creator. Especially if he’s/she’s depressed.
Rule 62: Teenage girls should note that making love to a vampire is necrophilia and making love to a werewolf is beastiality. Either way, you are a moron.
Rule 78: When you have to decide whether to save a dieing aunt who lived a long life and give away your marriage or save your marriage and let your aunt who lived a long life die, choose the latter. If you choose the former,you’re Joe Quesada.
Rule 104: In zombie apocalypse, the first thing you and your friends need to do is survive and not thinking about making love. That means you, Highschool of the Dead.
Rule 140: If you have principle so vital to you that you aren’t willing to compromise them an inch even if it means letting everything else breakdown, you have ceased to be a part of the democratic process and have begun being a despot.
Rule 141: People who continue threads long after everyone else has stopped paying attention to them are lame.
I actualy know a guy from a ride I did in Arkansas who just lost the tip of his finger while greasing the chain w/ his motor going. And hes not a Noob at bikes either… just lazy I spose.
Alternatively you use an oil can with a long nozzle on it, preferably with a squirty-trigger than can be gently squeezed to just dribble a little out at a time… (80w90 gear oil FTW)
That or blow a load of money on a Scottoiler if you’re, like, serious about things.
No need for your fingers to be near the chain at all (I learned that lesson well, messing with a pedal bike when i was MUCH younger… luckily it was old and had a lot of slack in it), or to get hands/gloves dirty spinning the wheel manually.
She wouldn’t need to be shouting, as her mouth is literally only a few inches away from Sal’s ear, an ear that is protected from the sound of the wind due to being inside of a helmet, as for the sound of the motorcycle itself, they only tend to be really loud when first starting up or stationary, when in motion your ears tend to accommodate toward the sound and it becomes hardly even noticeable making it rather easy to hear whoever is riding ‘bongo’.
Noise from the bike depends on the engine, the muffler (main factor), and what you’re doing with it. Stock pipes tend to be pretty quiet, so it would only be really loud if she’s modified stuff. And even then, a lot of aftermarket kit doesn’t add volume so much as improve the sound (unless you pull out the baffles…). If they’re coasting through the uni campus, Sal wouldn’t be pushing the bike at all hard — it wouldn’t be doing much more than idling, really.
Wind noise is actually the bigger problem, a lot of the time. But, if we continue with the assumption that they’re going relatively slowly, it wouldn’t be that loud.
So I’m willing to believe she’d be audible. But I’ve got zero experience with pillions, so I can’t confirm one way or the other.
I can usually understand what my wifes saying when were going 45 mph and we both wear full helmets. Granted I ride a suzuki S40 (650cc) so its not very loud.
Rats, does that mean the £10 I spent on a cheapo rider intercom system was a waste? (I have a honda 125, lol)
Seeing as they’re just going from one place on campus to another, probably a mile or so (3 minutes on bike, 18 on foot = 15 min difference – places and/or areas of town that don’t tend to have high speed limits – Sal might not be taking it much over 25-30mph, in which case wind and engine noise are pretty minor things, especially if you have a bigger engine (lower revs, less throttle, much more muffling than a small one). Her gunning the engine and skidding to a halt could be just for show.
depends on the state, a lot of states dont have helmet laws or they have nearly unenforceable helmet laws. Also on across campus trips if all you really have to worry about are bike cops you dont really have to worry.
I’m more bothered about the potential harm than legal trouble, and hopefully that’s Undrave’s point as well.
You’re quite high up on that thing, and less able to catch yourself should you fall vs, say, a pedal cycle. It’s perfectly possible to catch a fatal head injury falling off whilst the bike is at a full halt. The helmet’s not there to protect you from slamming into a wall, it’s to protect you against gravity.
Or in other words: first time you’ve been on one of those, with a driver who’s probably unaccustomed to taking a pillion – is it worth saving 15 minutes?
@1Samildanach I actualy know a guy from a ride I did in Arkansas who just lost the tip of his finger while greasing the chain w/ his motor going. And hes not a Noob at bikes either…
All you really needed to say there was “Arkansas”.
He was probably rubbing it in by hand, taking a day off from applying it with his tongue.
Last can of chain-suitable oil I bought came with a 4-inch long dropper nozzle built into it… I’m not sure what the guys who are poking their fingers into the works are actually doing.
I’m sorry, but the concept of a vehicle who’s only method of restraint is… oh that’s right, there is no method of restraint. You’re riding directly on top of a machine that utilizes controlled explosions to propel you forward. There isn’t anything dangerous about that!
Actual statistical analysis doesn’t bear this out, though. In an average year, a car is more than three times as likely to be in a collision than a motorcycle, and out of all collisions, a car is almost 22% more likely to result in injury.
Granted, the likelihood of an injury being fatal is less than half as likely in a car than a motorcycle, but the fact remains that the actual statistics show that you are, overall, safer riding a motorcycle than a car.
It helps that everyone who actually rides a motorcycle is well aware that a crash is far more deadlier to them and that nobody on the road is paying attention to them, so they have to be more careful and attentive as well.
Most motorcycle accidents can be attributed to dumbasses and inattentive auto owners.
I should qualify that the average motorcycle is ridden a lot less than the average car. I didn’t actually account for the fact that any given car is likely to average 6 times the actual number of miles traveled over a given year. Which is to say, if you measure in accidents per mile instead of accidents per year, motorcycles accidents are more 5 times as likely as car accidents.
The majority of people who ride know the risks :shrug:. And at the end of the day, if someone is fully compos mentis and makes an informed decision to put themselves (and no-one else) in danger, do other people really have any right to stop them?
I realise that you were probably speaking only for yourself, but I figured it’d be worth throwing that out there (you know, seize the opportunity for propaganda and all that…).
Actually, as it relies on gyroscopic. pendulum and processionary effects to stay upright and steer, a bike is MORE stable with a HIGHER centre of gravity. Further to fall (in fact, a wider arc), so more time to correct the mistake, and inputs can be smoother.
If that bothers you, then for gawds sakes don’t ride a push cycle, they’re FAR more unstable… the working parts are more exposed and easier to get tangled up in… and the brakes and tyres (and lights) are generally quite inferior. Plus if you get slammed against an obstacle by another vehicle, those thin tubes are going to have a better chance of busting your bones than the sheet metal of a motorcycle.
(plus you’ll be wearing an inferior quality helmet, and probably nothing in the way of skin/joint protection that’s built into most decent biker clothing)
And since when has the “box full of explosions underneath you” thing ever stopped anyone? Plus, think of how many people STILL prefer to drive around without a seatbelt on (yikes…)
All the same, you do have a point that it’s a more dangerous thing. Hence why I wear my helmet (5* rated in government tests) and gloves (RST Pro’s – well worth the cash) every time, and “armoured” jacket, pants and boots almost every time unless it’s an emergency-type trip (donning them does add an extra minute or so to proceedings). Not least because that protects against hypothermia….
I’m not sure where the idea that it’s actually overall “safer” is coming from – I’d have to ask the guys saying that to bring out some statistics. It may well be that there are overall a lot less riders killed/seriously injured each year vs car drivers, but by the same token there’s a lot less of us anyway. Less time I saw a stat corrected for the proportion of each vehicle type, going on 2 wheels was something like 12x more likely to land you in ER and/or the morgue.
Then again, that could be because a lot of people go for a short-as-possible-to-get-a-full-license training course, and go straight out and buy a Hyabusa because they just WANNA GO FAST BRAH… then promptly total it into the side of a bus at 150mph because they had no idea of controlling their speed to a responsible (if not entirely legal) level, anticipating other’s actions, or being able to take avoiding action without falling off. Given I’m riding a commuter bike back and forth to work, my chances are probably about level with someone on a pedal cycle; there are points at which I’m filtering quite quickly and prey to sudden lane changers, or vulnerable to oil patches when making a turn… but on the other hand I have better brakes and clothing, can use expressway type roads (MUCH safer than surface streets), am not being continually overtaken with minimal clearance on hills, and can power my way out of difficulty if required rather than being close to 100% of my muscle capacity at all times.
Still more dangerous than driving, but probably more like 2-3x rather than 12x … the hooligans push the average up quite badly. And that’s just the risk of having a crash; I have good protection and can’t even go superfast, let alone make a habit of it, so may be at about the same risk of harm as someone driving an older car (…like mine). I’ve had a couple of stupid, life-lesson style accidents so far (too short a follow distance in the wet, ran into the back of a van; fell off when going SLIGHTLY too hard on a greasy corner… etc) and came through alright. Damage to the bike was more the issue than my own quite minor injuries.
And as Tex says below – your best bet is to jump clear (particularly if you have an engine killswitch system that uses a pullcord attached to your jacket or similar, so the motor stops immediately). Bikes may be lighter than cars but you still don’t want 150kg of metal, rubber and fuel toppling 4ft onto your leg.
well theres no method of restraint because your safer if you fall away from the bike in an accident than being strapped to it. Strapped to it you have a lot more momentum thus you hit things harder and slide farther.
I think you overlooked the fact that this is *funny*, which is pretty much undisputably more important to the comic in both the short and long run than concluding any given storyline a little bit faster.
I mean, do you have anywhere in particular that you needed to be, that dawdling on the way to to the end of the storyline is inconveniencing you?
I think you overlooked the fact that above comment was meant to be “sarcastic”. I may be new to this, but sarcasm doesn’t always need to be perfectly justified, it’s meant to be entertaining.
Unlike when I had it going with your mum. No offense, but she just didn’t know how to handle my “sarcasm”.
Of course she was being sarcastic; her intent was to actually complain about the fact the storyline being dragged out, not to praise its prolongation. Obviously. Nothing subtle about it.
Unless you think it’s some sort of high-speed double-reverse sarcasm with a full-gainer and a twist, where the intent is to mock the idea of criticizing the prioritization of comedy in a comedy comic over the timely conclusion of storylines that exist solely to be vehicles for comedy anyway…in which case I have to frankly admit, I totally missed that super-double self-subversion there. In fact I still don’t see it; I don’t know what’s wrong with me…
At least you’re willing to admit you might have been at fault. Unlike your mum.
Okay, I’m stopping already. This “your mum” thing is just too much fun not to be exploited. And admittedly her criticism wasn’t quite appropriate, but since sarcasm is famous for being used at unappropriate occasions, I think it was still justified.
Maybe I’m just crazy. o_O
Cops are overgrown children cosplaying War, with all the rest of us forced into their stupid, childish game without our consent, consuming vast funds from the public treasury and ruining lives by the hundreds of thousands.
unknown@collie.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
I cannot get over these cops wearing night vision to arrest a dude on a Southwest Airlines flight in broad daylight.
a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?"
Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it
y'ever figure, hey, i should put joyce in bisexual flag colors for this storyline, but you also figure, hrm, that might telegraph things 8 months in advance, so you... add orange stripes and... it works, somehow it works, nobody points out the pink/purple/blue
Jonathan Joss being shot outside his home while protecting his husband after being sent a threatening and distressing package is WHY we need Pride
It's 2025 and people are still being shot and killed for being queer
This is why we march and why we fight
the thing about white liberal Americans is that they'll argue to accept bigots into their tent before accepting the bigots' targets.
the targets that have been on the same side as white liberals from the jump.
John Redcorn was pretty much the only contemporary Native representation I had in comedy growing up. Probably the funniest Native character in cartoon history and a lot of that was on Jonathan Joss' pitch perfect rezzy uncle performance. RIP to one of the best to ever do it.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that, yes, lolly is so edda 2.0 that she's even wearing her mother's wedding dress as she gets married to Her Dad (But Taller)
unknown @collie.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
ETPC @etpc.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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Second rule of motorcycle, do not talk about the motorcycle.
Joyce breaks it too much, which is why she can’t ride.
Did Sal break the fourth wall?
…I’m not sure how?
I think Sal was doing the classic aside glance or just experience fridge horror.
I haven’t got a clue how we’d know Sal was doing an Aside Glance but YMMV.
3rd panel – Her helmet is only so slightly asskeeww to us.
Doesn’t help that the helmet doesn’t look quite right.
The front is a bit flat, I think (especially in the last panel).
When you can’t look back at Billie because you’re driving the motorcycle, you do the best you can.
^^This
Gotta remember that full-face motorcycles have limited peripheral vision. I commonly make that kind of movement when I’m glancing back at a passenger. It’s either that or lean way to the side and pivot your hips enough to look directly at them, which – while fun – sometimes can be disconcerting to said passenger.
Seriously Billie, major party foul.
That went well, didn’t it? >.>
I found the third panel oddly more adorable than creepy. D:
Third Rule: The vibrations are sooo good.
4th Rule: There is no 6th rule.
Fifth Rule: See Rule 3.
7th Rule: Do not put your face against the rear wheel.
8th Rule: Do not use the cursed sacred native american burial ground behind the pet semetary.
9th-18th Rules: See Rule 3.
Rule 19: You DO NOT talk about motorcycles.
Rule 20: Ignore Rule 19.
Rule 21: Tea Partiers ARE Daleks.
Rule 21: Object in mirror is right behind you.
Rule 22: Yes, there is two Rule 21.
Rule 23: Do not leave flaming dog poo on Cthulhu’s doorstep.
Rule 24: Marcie is DA BOMB.
Rule 24: Walking shirtless does not make you manly, kicking skyscrapers or breaking a sword by just flexing your pex do.
Addendum: If you are a woman, expect some pervert spying you and shoot him. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And as always, Rule 34 also applies.
Rule 62: There’s more than one rule 58.
Rule 25: There’s 2 Rule 24 too.
Rule 26: DO NOT cross the Doctor.
Rule 27: Don’t cross a Saiyan either.
Rule 28: Know your Human Rights.
Rule 29: Never hit/beat a woman.
Rule 30: Vampires do not glitter in the sunlight. Those that do are not actually vampires but just a bunch of posers.
Rule 30: Capybaras are God.
Rule 31: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Rule 32: Anything from Ancient Egypt is inherently evil.
Rule 32: Human’s are not logical or rational.
Rule 33: see Rule 34.
Rule 34: Rule 34.
Rule 35: A good Nazi is a dead Nazi.
Rule 36: Cutting Never solves anything.
Rule 37: Times change, you need to change as well.
Rule 38: Don’t get caught pissing in the public pool.
Rule 39: Wear silly hats.
Rule 40: Make up rules.
Rule 41: When recruiting pilots for a giant robot, make sure your pilot does not have any psychological trauma.
Rule 42: For any aspiring writers, don’t write a story while you are depressed.
Addendum: And don’t make your main character a complete whining pansy and the ending a complete nonsense.
Rule 43: Never look directly at the camera.
Rule 44: Attack it’s weak point for massive damage.
Rule 45: no member of the faculty is to maltreat the students in any way whatsoever – if there’s anybody watching.
Rule 46: For a good time, call XXX-XXXXXXXXX.
Rule 47: If you want something done right kill Baldrick before you start.
Rule 48: Common sense is not always right. This is not up for debate.
Rule 49: They are not laughing with you they are laughing at you.
Rule 50: All public officials must under go three psych-evals. No crazies allowed.
Rule 51: In case of sports-related rioting participation in mandatory.
Rule 52: Judge a person by what they do and by who listen’s to them.
Rule 53: Incest is not wincest no matter what people say .
Rule 54: Tiers are for cowards and sissies. They make other characters for a reason, you know.
Rule 55: Kamille’s a man’s name and he is a man.
Rule 56: Emotionless girls are not cute or hot in the slightest. They are as creepy as a marionette and therefore should be called marionettes instead.
Rule 57: Every rule has an exception. Except for this one.
Rule 57: If your lawn gnomes get repossessed, do not dress your son or daughter as one and make them stand outside the house. Chances are they grow to become a bitter evil scientist.
Rule 58: Sticks and stones may break my bones but names cause multipule cases of acute lead poisoning.
Rule 59: Disregard Rule 57.
Rule 58: For the fans out there, if you don’t like an ending to a series, don’t send death threats to the director/creator. Especially if he’s/she’s depressed.
Rule 58 addendum: Or if s/he’s already deceased.
Rule 60: Don’t whizz on the electric fence.
Rule 60: Tea Partiers are racist, homophobic, xenophobic anarchists.
Rule 61: Texas ruins it forever one.
Rule 61: Paranormal romance is the reason why Dracula hates humans.
Rule 61a correction: Texas ruins it for every one.
Rule 58: I am the Cheese, your cheese, who brought your people out of the Martian war, and thou shalt have no other Cheeses before me.
Rule 62: Teenage girls should note that making love to a vampire is necrophilia and making love to a werewolf is beastiality. Either way, you are a moron.
Rule 62: Eye for an Eye makes the whole world blind.
Rule 63: Need a little excitement? Snap into a Slim Jim. OOOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Rule 66: There is no such thing as too many rules.
Rule 63: Only the feeble minded believe conspiracy theories.
Rule 64: Ignore nothri.
Rule 135: If everyone types faster than you, just skip ahead.
Rule 65: We are all responsible. No exceptions end of discusion.
Rule 64: There’s only one logical explanation for some situations: FAIRY GODPARENTS!
Rule 67: What someon does with there body is nobody else’s buisness.
Rule 66: If you want to kick ass, it’s customary to quote Duke Nukem or Ash from Evil Dead.
Rule 68: Human nature is only logical if you throw logic out the window.
Rule 68: Quote Scarface when you have any weapon in hand.
Rule 69: When there’s a giant robot in your story, throw logic out the window and have some fun.
Rule 69: You can figure it out.
Rule 70: If you have to explain the joke, there is no joke.
Rule 70: There are more things in heavan and earth than have been dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio.
Rule 71: A masterbation a day keeps prostate cancer away.
Rule 51: Sometimes you’re wrong.
Rule 71: The Big O will have a season 3 when Japan stops making moe crap.
Rule 72: A vote for Republicans is a one way ticket to eternal damnation.
Rule 72: Cloud is not emo, Squall is. So stop calling the guy who kicked Sephiroth’s ass emo.
Rule 73: If Square Enix were smart, they’d make Balthier the main character in FF12.
Rule 73: You are more a man when you admit you were wrong, apologize and make restitutions.
Rule 74: Moe and harem is crap that pushed awesome animes aside to give the otakus something to fap to.
Rule 75: If you are in an argument, apologize so the other side looked like a prick.
Rule 74: No taxes=no rights and freedoms.
Rule 76: There is no way out of here, it’ll be dark soon.There is no way out of here.
Rule 76: Do not argue with football hooligins, it is bad for your health.
Rule 77: When you’re out camping and you hear banjos, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!
Rule 77: Conservatives oppose abortion so than can have more live babies to grow up to be dead soldiers.
Rule 78: When you have to decide whether to save a dieing aunt who lived a long life and give away your marriage or save your marriage and let your aunt who lived a long life die, choose the latter. If you choose the former,you’re Joe Quesada.
Rule 79: Freedom is a state of mind.
Rule 80: The dead do not forget and they do not forgive.
Rule 81: Nothing humans do is logical.
Rule 79: Justin Beiber looked like a girl and sound like a girl and most people cheered when he got shot in that one CSI episode.
Rule 84: THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS
Rule 82: Pay the piper.
Rule 80: Current American cartoon is currently more enjoyable than anime for the time being.
Rule 83: The Beatles are bigger than Jesus Christ.
Rule 84: THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS.
Rule 83: If you lost to Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat, it’s customary to yell out “KHAAAAAN!”
Rule 85: Do not pet rabid animals.
Rule 85: Ben Sisko is a badass.
Rule 100: Pay David Willis CAD$2.
USD$ < CAD$
Rule 86: There is no Rapture.
Rule 86: It’s the year 2011 but where are the flying cars? I was promised flying cars. I don’t see any flying cars! Why? Why? Why?
Rule 101: Pay Randy Milholland CAD$3.
Rule 87: Ninjas should not be seen or heard. That means you, Naruto.
Rule 87: The Inuit have a solution to any problem.
Rule 88: When faced with a decision, always sleep on it.
Rule 89: The reason Super Robots got shoved to OVA status is because of Moe. In other words, blame Moe for everything anime related.
Rule 90: G Gundam is the awesomest Gundam anime ever. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Rule 90: There is always an option C.
Rule 91: Light novels should stay as light novels.
Rule 91: Gundam SEED is the second awesomest Gundam anime ever. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Rule 92: Harem, moe and mecha do not mix.
Rule 93: Everyone agree that Gundam Seed DESTINY sucked.
Rule 94: Hippies should not be piloting a giant robot.
Rule 92: Vote Yes for Unions.
Rule 95:No matter what people say, Batman can take down Superman.
Rule 96: Giant drills do not makes a man manly.
Rule 97: Harem anime are for basement dwellers.
Rule 95: Don’t tuant the homicidial psychopath.
Rule 98: SPOOOON! is one of the best battlecry ever.
Rule 99: Do not taunt Cthulhu. Flipping Cthulhu the bird is exceptable.
Rule 98: If you do not vote you have no right to complain.
Rule 102: Big Balls is one of the funniest songs ever.
Rule 102: Do not F*** a corpse.
Rule 103: If your elected official fucks up, it’s the fault of the voters that vote him.
Rule 103: God is on Switzerland’s side.
Rule 104: No means No.
Rule 104: In zombie apocalypse, the first thing you and your friends need to do is survive and not thinking about making love. That means you, Highschool of the Dead.
Rule 105: You’re allowed to hate Haruhi Suzumiya.
Rule 106: If you think GLaDOS has a sexy voice, I don’t blame you.
Rule 104b: Yes means anal.
Rule 107: Highlander only have one movie and two TV shows. The Quickening? What is that?
Rule 110: Do not tuant the undead.
Rule 108: Richter Belmont is the Chuck Norris of the Belmont clan.
Rule 111: Do not read the Necronomicon aloud.
Rule 109: There is no such thing as an American dub of Mazinger Z.
Rule 112: DO NOT tuant Chuck Norris.
Rule 113: See Rule 112.
Rule 114: Do not tuant Mr. T.
Rule 115: Do Not give you money to televangelists.
Rule 116: Give your money to UNICEF.
Rule 112: Uso Evin is more manly than Shinji Ikari.
Rule 117: Anything can be solved with the right amount and placement of plastic exsplosives.
Rule 120: Give David Willis CAD$10.
Rule 117: Do not taunt Batman
Rule 118: Do not taunt The Joker
Rule 119: Do not taunt Godzilla
Rule 121-130: Repeat rule 120.
Rule 121: Play Dead or Alive with both hands, you twit.
Rule 122: What’ca gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you? RUN LIKE HELL.
Rule 131: Don’t make a crack about Superman being fast than a speeding bullet. Unless your Chuck Norris or the offspring of Chuck Norris.
Addendum to rule 131: Or you’re Richter Belmont.
Rule 132: Ryoma Nagare is the manlier than Kamina. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Rule 132: Pay Randy Milholland CAD$20.
Rule 133: Repeat Rule 132 twenty times.
Rule 134: Spay and neuter your catgirl. They breed faster than rabbits and they are fuck deadly.
Rule 134: Don’t stick your dick in it.
Rule 135: If you found a robot girl in the garbage, leave it be.
Rule 136: Make sure you have a backup of everything, just in case.
Rule 137: Don’t build anything that gives electric shock to anyone especially yourself.
Rule 138: Do not make fun of a black belt with a girl’s name.
Rule 139: Holy crap you guys
Rule 140: If you have principle so vital to you that you aren’t willing to compromise them an inch even if it means letting everything else breakdown, you have ceased to be a part of the democratic process and have begun being a despot.
Rule 141: People who continue threads long after everyone else has stopped paying attention to them are lame.
Sixth Rule: Do not lube with the engine running (unless you want to lose fingers). Spin it with your hands, you lazy bastard.
And yes, I did read Rule 4.
19th Rule: There is no Rule 19.
Darn it, I already wrote rule 19.
“Aizat
August 10, 2011 at 3:04 am | #
Rule 41: When recruiting pilots for a giant robot, make sure your pilot does not have any psychological trauma.”
Is this a reference to the first Dark Cloud game with the Sun Giant? pic: http://lparchive.org/Dark-Cloud/Update%2025/12-fd092dc607.jpg
Pilot I’m thnking of:
Boon: A giant pilot. Sissy who always needs company
Actually, I was referencing Shinji Ikari.
Sorry the Managment said I got rule 19 wrong.
Which rule 57?
PS. Anyone who knows what I’m talking about gets an internet high-five.
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance?
Nah, mostly just common sense and motorcycle maintenance. Basically, I’m giving out high-fives to anyone who rides and has half a brain :P.
I actualy know a guy from a ride I did in Arkansas who just lost the tip of his finger while greasing the chain w/ his motor going. And hes not a Noob at bikes either… just lazy I spose.
Alternatively you use an oil can with a long nozzle on it, preferably with a squirty-trigger than can be gently squeezed to just dribble a little out at a time… (80w90 gear oil FTW)
That or blow a load of money on a Scottoiler if you’re, like, serious about things.
No need for your fingers to be near the chain at all (I learned that lesson well, messing with a pedal bike when i was MUCH younger… luckily it was old and had a lot of slack in it), or to get hands/gloves dirty spinning the wheel manually.
Look at what you’ve done. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
It’s even more awkward when you realize the sexual tension between Billie and your twin brother has just been transferred to you.
That works for me.
I second that!
And my grav’s Jason. Fantastic.
yes
I’ll probably hate saying this when I wake up, but who says she can’t have it with both?
Twincest huh?
Is it still twincest if the twins themselves don’t touch each other? I would figure that would qualify for “it’s okay when it’s in a three-way.”
The only way to avoid the twincest is for Billie to remain as the meat in the sandwich at all times.
Are we opposed to this?
Only if two headed babies are the result.
I meant Billie always being the meat.
YAY TWINCEST
IN FACT, DCH, WE’RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW
Is there sexual tension between Billie and Walky?
Some of us like to think there is.
If they were actually riding, how loud was Billie shouting to be heard over the bike and wind?
She wouldn’t need to be shouting, as her mouth is literally only a few inches away from Sal’s ear, an ear that is protected from the sound of the wind due to being inside of a helmet, as for the sound of the motorcycle itself, they only tend to be really loud when first starting up or stationary, when in motion your ears tend to accommodate toward the sound and it becomes hardly even noticeable making it rather easy to hear whoever is riding ‘bongo’.
Noise from the bike depends on the engine, the muffler (main factor), and what you’re doing with it. Stock pipes tend to be pretty quiet, so it would only be really loud if she’s modified stuff. And even then, a lot of aftermarket kit doesn’t add volume so much as improve the sound (unless you pull out the baffles…). If they’re coasting through the uni campus, Sal wouldn’t be pushing the bike at all hard — it wouldn’t be doing much more than idling, really.
Wind noise is actually the bigger problem, a lot of the time. But, if we continue with the assumption that they’re going relatively slowly, it wouldn’t be that loud.
So I’m willing to believe she’d be audible. But I’ve got zero experience with pillions, so I can’t confirm one way or the other.
I can usually understand what my wifes saying when were going 45 mph and we both wear full helmets. Granted I ride a suzuki S40 (650cc) so its not very loud.
Rats, does that mean the £10 I spent on a cheapo rider intercom system was a waste?
(I have a honda 125, lol)
Seeing as they’re just going from one place on campus to another, probably a mile or so (3 minutes on bike, 18 on foot = 15 min difference
– places and/or areas of town that don’t tend to have high speed limits – Sal might not be taking it much over 25-30mph, in which case wind and engine noise are pretty minor things, especially if you have a bigger engine (lower revs, less throttle, much more muffling than a small one). Her gunning the engine and skidding to a halt could be just for show.
I keep thinking of Celty Sturluson.
…
Willis, how much do I have to pay you to put cat ears on Sal’s helmet? XD
Trying to start a new shipping frenzy, are you Willis?
Like he actually needs to TRY!
Do or do not, there is no try.
However shiptease is A-OK.
How Shipping Works by ProtonCon
Fan: OH GOD THOSE TWO CHARACTERS WERE IN THE SAME PANEL! OTP!!
How Shipping Works by Protoncon, the Revised Edition, with Foreword by Gordon
Foreword:
Fandom changes, and so much our understanding of it. – Gordon
Fans: Those two characters exist! OMG! OTP!
Ahem…this copy didn’t make it to the editor on time, so it was rushed.
must*
It only takes a second for a pair to be shipped.
Well, it’s time to christen a new ship.
Anybody got a bottle of champagne?
Sorry, all out of champagne. Will a bottle of lube work?
Lube always works!
Seeing as this is Billie and Sal, a bottle of hard liquor or cheap beer seems more apropos.
Everyone marries everyone. THE END.
Let’s just get it out of the way, shall we?
It’s only awkward if either/both of you were turned on by the experience.
Cooling showers are in order.
So it’s only awkward when the Third Rule is not in effect?
The awkwardness is squared when Rule 3 is NOT in effect.
It’s only awkward when one of you is covered from head to toe in a leather outfit… oh…
and when the other one is wearing nothing but LATHER, the awkwardness goes through the roof.
In the words of George Takei, “Oh my..”
OH MY indeed!
*Howls like a wolf*
Billie, you should know better. First you get some drink in her, THEN you make the awkward pick-up lines.
I can totally see Sal being the Jack Daniels & Coke sort of gal.
Naw, judging by her motorcycle, she seems more Vodka and Red Bull. Jack and Coke is more for the stereotypical Harley Davidson rebels.
Judging by Sal’s behaviour, I’d say she’s most likely the Vodka & Vodka kind of girl, plus extra Vodka for the taste.Vashe zdorovie!
Am I the only one who wonders how Sal fits all her hair inside her helmet?
She might put her coat over the long hair. I have a friend who does that when he’s riding his motorcycle with a companion.
Shouldn’t Billie be wearing a helmet?
Well, yes, but where would she get one? I don’t think Sal is accustomed to passengers.
depends on the state, a lot of states dont have helmet laws or they have nearly unenforceable helmet laws. Also on across campus trips if all you really have to worry about are bike cops you dont really have to worry.
I’m more bothered about the potential harm than legal trouble, and hopefully that’s Undrave’s point as well.
You’re quite high up on that thing, and less able to catch yourself should you fall vs, say, a pedal cycle. It’s perfectly possible to catch a fatal head injury falling off whilst the bike is at a full halt. The helmet’s not there to protect you from slamming into a wall, it’s to protect you against gravity.
Or in other words: first time you’ve been on one of those, with a driver who’s probably unaccustomed to taking a pillion – is it worth saving 15 minutes?
To be fair, Sal could’ve lent Billie her helmet…
Yeah, she should be wearing a helmet. Is this a no-helmet state or something?
Oh well, at least she couldn’t make it awkward the way guys make it awkward.
With their reproductive organs.
Oh she could have, she could have started moaning.
Your grav fits so well for this comment.
The ship has left the docks and set sail for a new land.
I am now entertaining the notion of getting a motorcycle just to be able to pick up girls.
Literally. Isn’t that why man invented the motorcycle in the first place?
Probably … it’s not worked for me so far though. Could be that I need something with a bigger engine though. (Size matters… :D)
@1Samildanach I actualy know a guy from a ride I did in Arkansas who just lost the tip of his finger while greasing the chain w/ his motor going. And hes not a Noob at bikes either…
All you really needed to say there was “Arkansas”.
He was probably rubbing it in by hand, taking a day off from applying it with his tongue.
Last can of chain-suitable oil I bought came with a 4-inch long dropper nozzle built into it… I’m not sure what the guys who are poking their fingers into the works are actually doing.
I’m sorry, but the concept of a vehicle who’s only method of restraint is… oh that’s right, there is no method of restraint. You’re riding directly on top of a machine that utilizes controlled explosions to propel you forward. There isn’t anything dangerous about that!
And don’t forget the narrow base and high center of gravity, nothing could possibly go wrong with that.
Actual statistical analysis doesn’t bear this out, though. In an average year, a car is more than three times as likely to be in a collision than a motorcycle, and out of all collisions, a car is almost 22% more likely to result in injury.
Granted, the likelihood of an injury being fatal is less than half as likely in a car than a motorcycle, but the fact remains that the actual statistics show that you are, overall, safer riding a motorcycle than a car.
It helps that everyone who actually rides a motorcycle is well aware that a crash is far more deadlier to them and that nobody on the road is paying attention to them, so they have to be more careful and attentive as well.
Most motorcycle accidents can be attributed to dumbasses and inattentive auto owners.
I should qualify that the average motorcycle is ridden a lot less than the average car. I didn’t actually account for the fact that any given car is likely to average 6 times the actual number of miles traveled over a given year. Which is to say, if you measure in accidents per mile instead of accidents per year, motorcycles accidents are more 5 times as likely as car accidents.
So anyway, egg on my face and all.
The majority of people who ride know the risks :shrug:. And at the end of the day, if someone is fully compos mentis and makes an informed decision to put themselves (and no-one else) in danger, do other people really have any right to stop them?
I realise that you were probably speaking only for yourself, but I figured it’d be worth throwing that out there (you know, seize the opportunity for propaganda and all that…).
Actually, as it relies on gyroscopic. pendulum and processionary effects to stay upright and steer, a bike is MORE stable with a HIGHER centre of gravity. Further to fall (in fact, a wider arc), so more time to correct the mistake, and inputs can be smoother.
If that bothers you, then for gawds sakes don’t ride a push cycle, they’re FAR more unstable… the working parts are more exposed and easier to get tangled up in… and the brakes and tyres (and lights) are generally quite inferior. Plus if you get slammed against an obstacle by another vehicle, those thin tubes are going to have a better chance of busting your bones than the sheet metal of a motorcycle.
(plus you’ll be wearing an inferior quality helmet, and probably nothing in the way of skin/joint protection that’s built into most decent biker clothing)
And since when has the “box full of explosions underneath you” thing ever stopped anyone? Plus, think of how many people STILL prefer to drive around without a seatbelt on (yikes…)
All the same, you do have a point that it’s a more dangerous thing. Hence why I wear my helmet (5* rated in government tests) and gloves (RST Pro’s – well worth the cash) every time, and “armoured” jacket, pants and boots almost every time unless it’s an emergency-type trip (donning them does add an extra minute or so to proceedings). Not least because that protects against hypothermia….
I’m not sure where the idea that it’s actually overall “safer” is coming from – I’d have to ask the guys saying that to bring out some statistics. It may well be that there are overall a lot less riders killed/seriously injured each year vs car drivers, but by the same token there’s a lot less of us anyway. Less time I saw a stat corrected for the proportion of each vehicle type, going on 2 wheels was something like 12x more likely to land you in ER and/or the morgue.
Then again, that could be because a lot of people go for a short-as-possible-to-get-a-full-license training course, and go straight out and buy a Hyabusa because they just WANNA GO FAST BRAH… then promptly total it into the side of a bus at 150mph because they had no idea of controlling their speed to a responsible (if not entirely legal) level, anticipating other’s actions, or being able to take avoiding action without falling off. Given I’m riding a commuter bike back and forth to work, my chances are probably about level with someone on a pedal cycle; there are points at which I’m filtering quite quickly and prey to sudden lane changers, or vulnerable to oil patches when making a turn… but on the other hand I have better brakes and clothing, can use expressway type roads (MUCH safer than surface streets), am not being continually overtaken with minimal clearance on hills, and can power my way out of difficulty if required rather than being close to 100% of my muscle capacity at all times.
Still more dangerous than driving, but probably more like 2-3x rather than 12x … the hooligans push the average up quite badly. And that’s just the risk of having a crash; I have good protection and can’t even go superfast, let alone make a habit of it, so may be at about the same risk of harm as someone driving an older car (…like mine). I’ve had a couple of stupid, life-lesson style accidents so far (too short a follow distance in the wet, ran into the back of a van; fell off when going SLIGHTLY too hard on a greasy corner… etc) and came through alright. Damage to the bike was more the issue than my own quite minor injuries.
And as Tex says below – your best bet is to jump clear (particularly if you have an engine killswitch system that uses a pullcord attached to your jacket or similar, so the motor stops immediately). Bikes may be lighter than cars but you still don’t want 150kg of metal, rubber and fuel toppling 4ft onto your leg.
well theres no method of restraint because your safer if you fall away from the bike in an accident than being strapped to it. Strapped to it you have a lot more momentum thus you hit things harder and slide farther.
I am well aware of the physics of that, and I agree that it is “safer” but that doesn’t really comfort me in this instance.
Somebody get a crowbar, need to get Billie’s foot out of her mouth
You can likely use the same crowbar that was used to get her arms from around Sal.
Don’t worry Billie, I’d be perfectly happy to let you ride on my motorcycle.
The motorcycle is my penis.
Fantasies… taking… over…
Let’s play a game. Who is sailing the S.S. Billie?
Danny
Joyce
Walky
Ruth
Sal
I honestly thought I could come up with more off the top of my memory…
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to play “Pair the Characters!”
What? No lesbian sex in panel four? I am disappoint!
Voicing your awkward and embarrassing thoughts out loud? Billie, you’ve been hanging around Joyce too much.
Of course, I’m not any better, talking to you in the comments section and all.
Take that, shippers!
Look, a convenient way to keep the “signing the roommate contract” storyline alive even longer past its freshness date!
I think you overlooked the fact that this is *funny*, which is pretty much undisputably more important to the comic in both the short and long run than concluding any given storyline a little bit faster.
I mean, do you have anywhere in particular that you needed to be, that dawdling on the way to to the end of the storyline is inconveniencing you?
I think you overlooked the fact that above comment was meant to be “sarcastic”. I may be new to this, but sarcasm doesn’t always need to be perfectly justified, it’s meant to be entertaining.
Unlike when I had it going with your mum. No offense, but she just didn’t know how to handle my “sarcasm”.
Maybe her problem was that your “sarcasm” was just to “subtle”.
*claps* I won’t even try getting back at you, your comment obviously wins.
Of course she was being sarcastic; her intent was to actually complain about the fact the storyline being dragged out, not to praise its prolongation. Obviously. Nothing subtle about it.
Unless you think it’s some sort of high-speed double-reverse sarcasm with a full-gainer and a twist, where the intent is to mock the idea of criticizing the prioritization of comedy in a comedy comic over the timely conclusion of storylines that exist solely to be vehicles for comedy anyway…in which case I have to frankly admit, I totally missed that super-double self-subversion there. In fact I still don’t see it; I don’t know what’s wrong with me…
At least you’re willing to admit you might have been at fault. Unlike your mum.
Okay, I’m stopping already. This “your mum” thing is just too much fun not to be exploited. And admittedly her criticism wasn’t quite appropriate, but since sarcasm is famous for being used at unappropriate occasions, I think it was still justified.
Maybe I’m just crazy. o_O
Slashfiiiiiics!
it’s sorta weird how Sal sounds like Natsuki Kuga when I read her parts…. voice and all
Panel 2 brought to you by Walkyverse Prime Danny’s penis.
You know what’s weird? How pairing Sal with Billie makes Billie the “bottom”.
Man, we’ve been pairing EVERYONE with Billie nowadays. Wait, does that make her the fandom bicy—I mean, motorcycle?
Launcher of a Thousand Ships
so did they get there or did she just make her get off?
but isn’t that what everyone’s hoping for?
oh snap!
Shipping this now.
Just sayin.
Hee, me too. Suits her so well.
She just had to say it, didn’t she?
“Billie?”
“Yeah, Sal?”
“Use the handle bars, Billie.”
“But I feel safe here.”
I thought the first rule was “you don’t talk about motorcyclin'”.
yess