Ride or Die is an LGBTQ webcomic about two street racers who team up with a demon-possessed muscle car in the search for a missing woman, while being hunted by a deadly religious cult.
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG.
At least, he was, and that was the idea...
Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
The Last Diplomat
Cat Farris
Samma and Tark didn't ask to be stuck together, but now they're partners on the adventure of a lifetime.
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Goodbye to Halos
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Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
Kochab
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A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Not Drunk Enough
Tess Stone
Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
Aquapunk
Lo
In an underwater world of unknown coordinates, inhabited by aliens, ghosts, and robots, a young member of a warrior underclass is framed for a crime and goes on the run. Little does he know he is part of a grand design that only gods and ancestors could choreograph.
Quick$ilver
Crypto
The flirtatious, directionless, and ever disastrous Luci searches for excitement in a life of crime, and finds himself caught in a web of messy romance and bad blood.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Alexander, The Servant & The Water of Life
Reimena Yee
The 21st century retelling of the life and legends of Alexander the Great.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
The End
August Brown, Cory Brown
Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
Gzhel Guardian
Atla Hrafney, nushanchel
The Railway World is a complex, mysterious network of trains, towns and mechanical monsters. Leo is a Guardian of one of these towns, and although their burn-out and depression has taken hold of them, they have one last job to finish.
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
The Substitutes
Myisha Haynes
What happens when three roommates accidentally acquire otherworldly and powerful magic weapons destined for someone else?
Scape
Lauren
Sula has always preferred to forge her own path, but before she knows it, she is pulled into the middle of a civil war between man and monster!
Missing Monday
Elle Skinner
Two girls fall in love through a magic door connecting their worlds. When Monday suddenly goes missing, it's up to Foyle to find her. How she's going to navigate an entirely unfamiliar world is another matter.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
Sleepless Domain
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
Trying Human
IntroducingEmy
Two women separated by over half a century are brought together by an alien-filled conspiracy involving murder, mystery and romance!
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Within
Verena Loisel
A young hitman meanders between a reality that seems to happen without him, and his dreams where he is lost in an endless house. When he makes an accidental friend, his world is shaken up and he realizes there are things he can't remember about himself.
The Forgotten Order
Christy
A young witch for whom every spell is a misfire finds solace and friendship in her new companion - a cursed doll.
Headless Bliss
Clover
A story about story-telling, and other metaphysical themes such as Nightmares! (Failed) Teamwork! Comedy! And more!
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
BOOKMARK Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
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The collection of wonderful Joyce Faces grows. Girl needs her own emoji set.
And sorry Joyce, you already got your daily miracle allotment when there was no line for the shower and Amazon began a sale on sweatervests. You’ll have to die tomorrow.
Yes, but in the meantime she and Jacob get taken out to eat by Jacob’s brother. Raidah has been looking forward to being taken out to an adult restaurant by Jacob’s brother. This is a gift that keeps on giving.
Joyce (looking for distraction): Look, there’s someone on the wing! The other wing of the building I mean!
Jacob: Why would I ever date Joyce? She’s Hitler! (pulls off her mask)
Joyce: (Flails around in shock, breaks Harrison’s glasses)
Harrison: No…there was time now…it’s not fair!
Jaime: Dammit, if he can’t read now, how’s he going to help me with this? I can’t reach the high shelves in the kitchen (throws down copy of To Serve Man).
That was Astounding! Or was it Amazing? I shouod go into the basement and check!
“Oh, Hi Joyce, what are your u doing down here?” ”
Trying to get myself out of a hole.”
It sounds a tiny bit misogynistic, like Joyce was a conquest, but it could just as easily be a turn of phrase and I might be a mite sensitive, hence I’m being cautiously optimistic.
Nah, it’s the same thing as saying “he’s a great catch”. There’s nothing gendered or offensive about phrases that basically boil down to “you’ve found a good partner.”
Yeah, english is quite consistent in that it uses fishing metaphors for all combinations of sexes/genders when it comes to finding partners. Of course you could question what this says about the views of society as a whole on romance and partnership, but at least you get to do a fundamental critique then since it applies all ways and against all groups.
Well, we’re also very much into breads and circuses at the moment. By “pull” he meant draw of the deck because he was a huge Magic the Gathering fan growing up. No fishing metaphors here! Just nerds!
Not that simple. Phrases that boil down to innocuous meanings can still take on negative connotations through use.
It might be regional or generation, but “pull” has strong connotations of casual sexual conquest to me, not more serious relationships. You’d go to the bar and try to pull a girl for the night.
It’s mostly English slang isn’t it? At least as I’ve heard it.
Intent matters. That’s my opinion anyway. If there’s nothing inherently problematic with a phrase and it was not intended as in any way demeaning, then the “problem” is entirely on the listener’s end. What might sound somewhat negative to one person might sound neutral to another and somewhat positive to yet a third person depending on where they’re from. Even if the three of them otherwise have identical views on everything (politics, social issues, taste in music and movies, whatever). To make matters even more complicated, connotations change over time, and what was once considered normal and polite can change to be considered rude. Or the other way around, something that was extremely rude or even hostile becomes normal to the point where everyone’s fine with it. And often you’ll have some of both at the same time.
That’s why I don’t like to get connotations involved, they are too dependent on individuals to make any useful statements about language in general unless you get a few thousand people and do a large study. Even then you could only make statements about what connotations certain phrases carried at that point in time, 30 years later things can have changed drastically already.
And yet, people will draw inferences from connotations. That’s how language and communication work. There’s no avoiding it.
It may be hard to pin down formally, but we all do it everyday.
Exactly. Joyce should be getting away for maximum effect. Raidah and Jacob meet while Harrison still doesn’t know the truth (Jacob will likely refuse to talk about Joyce), causing Harrison to get a completely wrong impression of his brother.
But then maybe it won’t go as bad as possible for once…
Raidah might not be coming since she expects Jacob to be in class. Even Jacob expected himself to be in class. Of course she will join them at some point for maximum DRAMA, but that’s beside the point that she might not.
IIRC: Popeye the Sailor was tying his father into a hammock, and said, “You’ve buttered your bed, now lay in it.” His dad was being forbidden to go drinking and carrousing. (Hello: Sailors!)
For me, Scott’s Tots was funny but almost unwatchable. This is much easier because each moment happens after a 24 hour time gap for you to get used to the last one.
For me, it’s always less painful reading than watching something like this. (And probably watching cartoons than live action.) There’s a bit more distancing effect and the empathy is more intellectual.
I just had an idea for a Three’s Company-Bosom Buddies crossover. But the time machine is broken again, so there no getting back to the time when that might have gotten an automatic green light.
Normally I’m all for defending Joyce, but… no. This is utterly indefensible. At least with the Amber/Danny thing, it was just wrong but you could at least explain it away as a clusterfuck of mental health issues.
This? This is not that. It’s not even wrong so much as it’s an utter travesty of stupid choices.
And Amber’s lie even ended up helping Danny, though she didn’t realize it. His awful mom respected him again because she thought he had an intelligent girlfriend. Because she doesn’t respect him by himself.
And there wasn’t really a third party involved in that one – since AG and Amber were close enough at the time that AG would have been aware of what was going on and okay with it. Plus, she didn’t start it with his parents while he wasn’t around.
Still something Danny was quite justified being upset about, but not nearly the potential for disaster this has.
Or it could affect Jacob, because it’d affect Harrison’s perception of him. Or Raidah, because Joyce is kind of stepping over her relationship. Or hey, even affect Sarah’s friendship with Jacob.
Well that would be their fault for not communicating amongst themselves properly. If they handle the situation the way they should, the only thing that should happen is everyone realizing Joyce is an asshole and limiting their interactions with her.
I would blame them if they turned against each other for something that was all Joyce, instead of communicating and saying “hey, I had no clue Joyce was gonna say she was my girlfriend. I thought our relationship was completely platonic, but will now re-evaluate how I interact with her. “
It might only affect Joyce if the others, such as Jacob, didn’t care about their relationship with Joyce, but they clearly do. Something that negatively impacts their friendship is going be hard for him too.
Ok, so… this probably doesn’t matter to anyone but myself, but I feel the need to say it.
Up until Monday, waiting for this site to update was something I looked forward to every day, but this week has been so cringy that I can’t even bring myself to read the strips anymore.
So I think I’ll stay away for a while; hopefully by the time this whole sitcom thing has resolved itself I can manage to read it all at once, kinda like ripping a band-aid.
Official prediction (having not read the last few days of comments):
Through exactly these kind of hijinks, Jacob manages not to catch on until they all end up in the same room as Raidah. He behaves in a clearly romantic way around Raidah, and Harrison, being an Aggressively Upstanding Dude, openly calls him out on how disrespectful it is to flirt with other women, especially right in front of Joyce.
Raidah reads this as “he’s been secretly dating Joyce all along AND she’s the girlfriend his family knows about,” which probably carries a heavy undertone of inferred religious disapproval, and she loudly dumps him and flounces off. Joyce suffocates under the mountain of bullshit she has created. End scene.
Joyce, you either run like an idiot or confess your sins. Don’t try to drag along your lies. There’s no memory erasing device, no Head Alien, no Cheese, no romantic triangle with Walky and Dina, and no homophobia. You have no excuses to not be honest.
Jacob’s… dense when it comes to women. I’m not sure if there’s a name for the SI unit for density beyond kg per cubic meter, but if there is, stick a yotta- in front of it. I don’t think he’s going to realize what’s going on at all, and when Harrison tells him he’ll just blow it off as “nah, that couldn’t happen, are you sure you heard right?”
Well that depends. Has Raidah said, ‘Joyce is getting awfully close to you’?
I mean, it could just as easily go as ‘wait, she can’t be coming onto me, we’re just friends, and if I bring it up and it’s not a thing then I just seem paranoid.’
I think this kind of density is measured in AHAPs (Averaged Harem Anime Protagonist), Jacob is sitting around 250 milli-AHAPs +/-5%. So quite dense but still within the realm of realism.
A) Dorothy will not be sympathetic.
B) She’s busy studying.
C) …. actually, I’m not sure she still exists. She may have fallen into a studying singularity and been removed from this universe.
I see where this is going now: Willis is challenging himself to keep this whole arc going for as long as possible without Jacob’s total inability to know what Harrison is hinting at regarding Joyce starting to get ridiculous.
Meanwhile… Yeah, panel 2 tells me that there is a bit of an unbalanced relationship here. It isn’t really Harrison’s fault; to get where he is, you have to be at least a bit pushy and I think Jacob’s hero-worship is just a tad too strong for him to stand up for himself.
FWIW, I still have no idea why Joyce did it. She must have known that it would fall apart almost immediately. I can only conclude that the fantasy was just so wonderful and something that she so desperately wants that to live it, even for a few minutes, was irresistible!
Maybe things just always came easy to Harrison and Jacob has to work at it – he was a not racially prejudiced against Sal to the Harrison golden child so Harrison just isn’t seeing the reasons behind all the stress and pushing. The difference in this dynamic is Harrison saw at least his golden child status, stood by his sibling and didn’t take it for granted, and actually cares about Jacob beyond his abilities. Head canon not anything else.
I honestly think that Joyce was fighting herself the whole time because there was a part of her that desperately wanted to live the fantasy, even if only briefly. She couldn’t override that, no matter how wrong she knew was. Which is more sad than bad, when you think about it.
Joyce, I love you and all, but this has to happen. You need a wake up call. You need to see that your behavior has repurcussions.
Jacob I honestly feel sorry for. Dude finally sees his big bro and adorable nephew, and now he’s finding out someone he thought was a friend is pretending to be his girlfriend.
Honestly though, only good thing coming out of this is a potential break up with Raidah. Jacob deserves better than her.
A smiting would prevent this current crisis and halt her crisis of faith. It’s intensely wishfully thinking that she could successfully capture two birds flying from the burning bush.
At least, since this unexpectedly early, Raidah will not be planning to meet them for brunch. Even Jacob isn’t planning for this, since he was planning on class. Unless Raidah happens upon them at the restaurant, we might avoid an explosion.
Plus the baby was so happy to see Joyce but seems to be eyeing Jacob as a meal.
Also, confession is good for the soul Joyce. Better now than when there’s even more to confess to.
Joyce, just say you felt put on the spot and said the wrong thing on accident. It may not be 100% true, but it’s the only way out at this point and might even get to be a “we all laugh about social awkwardness” moment.
Of course, she’ll probably just double down… TnT
oh you’re THAT Jason’s brother! oh my boyfriend is another guy named Jason hahaha. nope i’m pretty sure you’re the one who said you were jason’s brother that definitely happened maybe
oh NOW you realize how stupid your idea was?? why didn’t you think about it at the time? what was even the point?! obviously you didn’t want Jacob and his brother to find out you lied–not that it’s plausible that he wouldn’t find out soon enough, given that Jacob’s new girlfriend is almost certainly going to be a topic of conversation–so you just wanted to convince Harrison that you were Jacob’s girlfriend… why, exactly? just so it would be a “real” relationship in someone’s brain? you literally had no reason to do this, except that you just wanted to pretend in that fleeting moment, but you could have done that NOT OUT LOUD. oh my GOD
I mean, in Joyce’s defense, it was a single moment impulse that happened just a minute ago. There wasn’t really any time to think through the ramifications of how it might go. You would have to just know it was a terrible idea.
Against Joyce’s defense, everyone did just know it was a terrible idea.
So, I’ve got a vocabulary question of sorts. See, there’s a cook at work who consistently refers to one of our cashiers with a certain slur. The cook’s black, and said cashier is Mexican.
So, when this cook refers to the cashier as a certain word starting with W, is that racist? It feels racist, but Twitter People are always saying only white people can be racist, due to power dynamics. Would “prejudiced” be more accurate?
Either way, I don’t think he should be using slurs like that, but I want to have my terminology straight.
It’s totally racist. Non-white people can be racist against other non-white people. We don’t have a monopoly on racism, we’ve just been far more effective than most :/
Just like how women can be misogynistic. I cringe every time I see a photo of a certain president standing in front of a crowd of supporters that are partly women.
To add to what Inahc said, non-white people can also be racist against white people. What they CAN’T do (in the US and the vast majority of western world) is turn that racism into systemic racism, because they don’t occupy a sufficient number of positions of sufficient power. It’s not less racist, it just has far less severe consequences.
Once (if?) we solve that issue, a LOT of people are going to be shocked (SHOCKED) that POCs are just as bad as white people, they’ve just had less opportunities to be bad. Much like now that women are (slowly) lessening the gap to men as far as positions of power go, everyone is gasping that they’re just as bad, corrupt, and exploitative bosses as the dudes.
The corollary to everyone being people regardless of gender or ethnicity is that most everyone sucks regardless of gender or ethnicity.
I would say yes 100%. Even if say the cashier is the cook’s best friend and says “oh we call each other horrible things all the time,” there still the question of why isn’t he keeping other people of the same race in mind and why is he using said language in a professional setting.
Yes, I think the term “racism” is currently being used only to refer to systemic oppression with social power behind it. But I think everyone agrees that you don’t need systemic power to be bigoted, prejudiced, insulting, offensive, or degrading. So I’d try one of those terms.
Even with that definition, you don’t need the social power personally, if you’re acting in line with the larger social forces.
Using that definition, you can’t be racist against white people because that’s not where the systemic oppression is aimed, but even non-white people can be racist against other oppressed groups. The black cook in this example is leveraging the existing systemic oppression against the Mexican cashier.
Cops are overgrown children cosplaying War, with all the rest of us forced into their stupid, childish game without our consent, consuming vast funds from the public treasury and ruining lives by the hundreds of thousands.
unknown@collie.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
I cannot get over these cops wearing night vision to arrest a dude on a Southwest Airlines flight in broad daylight.
a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?"
Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it
y'ever figure, hey, i should put joyce in bisexual flag colors for this storyline, but you also figure, hrm, that might telegraph things 8 months in advance, so you... add orange stripes and... it works, somehow it works, nobody points out the pink/purple/blue
Jonathan Joss being shot outside his home while protecting his husband after being sent a threatening and distressing package is WHY we need Pride
It's 2025 and people are still being shot and killed for being queer
This is why we march and why we fight
the thing about white liberal Americans is that they'll argue to accept bigots into their tent before accepting the bigots' targets.
the targets that have been on the same side as white liberals from the jump.
John Redcorn was pretty much the only contemporary Native representation I had in comedy growing up. Probably the funniest Native character in cartoon history and a lot of that was on Jonathan Joss' pitch perfect rezzy uncle performance. RIP to one of the best to ever do it.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that, yes, lolly is so edda 2.0 that she's even wearing her mother's wedding dress as she gets married to Her Dad (But Taller)
unknown @collie.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
ETPC @etpc.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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Joyce will quickly find out if it’s truly possible to die of embarrassment
win/win?
It isn’t called mortification for nothing.
Mortifying of Age.
The collection of wonderful Joyce Faces grows. Girl needs her own emoji set.
And sorry Joyce, you already got your daily miracle allotment when there was no line for the shower and Amazon began a sale on sweatervests. You’ll have to die tomorrow.
A Joyce emoji set is what I want for Christmas, except now. For real. What do we do to convince Willis this must be a thing?
Sorry, Joyce, no elevator can go high enough to get you out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself.
Father knows best.
Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no river wide enough…
You gonna run to the rocks, but the rocks will be melting when you run to the rocks…
No Joyce, you made this mess. Now you have to fix it.
Your avatar just seems perfect for this post.
I’m not sure how easy it’ll be for Joyce to fix it at this point.
She can’t. She can just eat the big plate of crow she’s made for herself. Joyce is going to get in trouble and there is nothing she can do about it.
Yes, but in the meantime she and Jacob get taken out to eat by Jacob’s brother. Raidah has been looking forward to being taken out to an adult restaurant by Jacob’s brother. This is a gift that keeps on giving.
She dug this hole, now she has to brunch in it.
Man, I hope this doesn’t turn out to be an ep of The Twilight Zone!!
Joyce (looking for distraction): Look, there’s someone on the wing! The other wing of the building I mean!
Jacob: Why would I ever date Joyce? She’s Hitler! (pulls off her mask)
Joyce: (Flails around in shock, breaks Harrison’s glasses)
Harrison: No…there was time now…it’s not fair!
Jaime: Dammit, if he can’t read now, how’s he going to help me with this? I can’t reach the high shelves in the kitchen (throws down copy of To Serve Man).
This reads a bit like one of those markov chain stories
Who gets wished to the corn field?
Raidah.
That was Astounding! Or was it Amazing? I shouod go into the basement and check!
“Oh, Hi Joyce, what are your u doing down here?” ”
Trying to get myself out of a hole.”
Number 12 Looks Just Like Her.
At least she knows it was wrong. That’s something.
Right?
Rule #1 of lies: bad people need to use the stairs!
Joyce isn’t bad, she is just stupid and in denial.
I mean she’s not like, inherently bad; more just doing bad things- either way, there is no greater boon for villainy than a flight of fetid steps
I thought rule #1 of lies was that you need to tell better ones?
It’s actually “write them down so you can keep track”. You’re thinking of Rule #2.
OBVIOUSLY this charade is going to continue until the worst possible moment.
I bet the chicken fingers will be too spicy http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/numerous/
Hmm. “Great pull, bro” isn’t exactly the most respectful of praise, but I’m keeping a cautious eye on Harrison.
That Joe icon, tho’.
I don’t see the issue.
It sounds a tiny bit misogynistic, like Joyce was a conquest, but it could just as easily be a turn of phrase and I might be a mite sensitive, hence I’m being cautiously optimistic.
Nah, it’s the same thing as saying “he’s a great catch”. There’s nothing gendered or offensive about phrases that basically boil down to “you’ve found a good partner.”
Yeah, english is quite consistent in that it uses fishing metaphors for all combinations of sexes/genders when it comes to finding partners. Of course you could question what this says about the views of society as a whole on romance and partnership, but at least you get to do a fundamental critique then since it applies all ways and against all groups.
We are a mechanized society, why are we using hunter-gatherer metaphores? This makes no logic? And why not a meta-5?
So, if we were to find a modern, industrial metaphor for finding a good partner… something custom manufactured?
“Dude, nice bespoke!”
Well, we’re also very much into breads and circuses at the moment. By “pull” he meant draw of the deck because he was a huge Magic the Gathering fan growing up. No fishing metaphors here! Just nerds!
MtG brothers and sisters for life!
Not that simple. Phrases that boil down to innocuous meanings can still take on negative connotations through use.
It might be regional or generation, but “pull” has strong connotations of casual sexual conquest to me, not more serious relationships. You’d go to the bar and try to pull a girl for the night.
It’s mostly English slang isn’t it? At least as I’ve heard it.
Intent matters. That’s my opinion anyway. If there’s nothing inherently problematic with a phrase and it was not intended as in any way demeaning, then the “problem” is entirely on the listener’s end. What might sound somewhat negative to one person might sound neutral to another and somewhat positive to yet a third person depending on where they’re from. Even if the three of them otherwise have identical views on everything (politics, social issues, taste in music and movies, whatever). To make matters even more complicated, connotations change over time, and what was once considered normal and polite can change to be considered rude. Or the other way around, something that was extremely rude or even hostile becomes normal to the point where everyone’s fine with it. And often you’ll have some of both at the same time.
That’s why I don’t like to get connotations involved, they are too dependent on individuals to make any useful statements about language in general unless you get a few thousand people and do a large study. Even then you could only make statements about what connotations certain phrases carried at that point in time, 30 years later things can have changed drastically already.
And yet, people will draw inferences from connotations. That’s how language and communication work. There’s no avoiding it.
It may be hard to pin down formally, but we all do it everyday.
Also – while intent does matter, so does impact.
I’m cackling at this embarrassment. You make that bed, Joyce!
oh that snowball looks PRETTY BIG
And it hasn’t rolled even halfway down the mountain yet!
Exactly. Joyce should be getting away for maximum effect. Raidah and Jacob meet while Harrison still doesn’t know the truth (Jacob will likely refuse to talk about Joyce), causing Harrison to get a completely wrong impression of his brother.
But then maybe it won’t go as bad as possible for once…
Raidah might not be coming since she expects Jacob to be in class. Even Jacob expected himself to be in class. Of course she will join them at some point for maximum DRAMA, but that’s beside the point that she might not.
Nope nope nope. You buttered your toast, now you have to sit in it, young lady.
That’s not how toast works!
I said what I said.
Nope Joycy, you buttered your cat’s back, now you have to wait and see which side it falls to the ground on, little miss.
^ This one gets it.
The butter is always greener on the other side of the lamb’s tail?
lol like Joyce eats anything buttered… that’s two foods touching
She eats buttered noodles.
With meatballs!
That’s like a gem fusion though. They aren’t touching so much as merging into a greater entity.
Now I want a picture of Joyce sitting in butter on a large bed of toast.
IIRC: Popeye the Sailor was tying his father into a hammock, and said, “You’ve buttered your bed, now lay in it.” His dad was being forbidden to go drinking and carrousing. (Hello: Sailors!)
This is like Scott’s Tots on steroids
Hey Mr. Scott,
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do,
Making dreams come true?
For me, Scott’s Tots was funny but almost unwatchable. This is much easier because each moment happens after a 24 hour time gap for you to get used to the last one.
For me, it’s always less painful reading than watching something like this. (And probably watching cartoons than live action.) There’s a bit more distancing effect and the empathy is more intellectual.
Lol, Jacob’s gonna hate you now, Joyce
Oh, Joyce…
If wishes were horses…
…Joyce would be trampled underfoot. Fatally.
Joyce finds herself in a situation similar to one from one of those secular sitcoms her parents wouldn’t let her watch.
“I learned how to handle delicate social situations from a little show called Three’s Company.”
I just had an idea for a Three’s Company-Bosom Buddies crossover. But the time machine is broken again, so there no getting back to the time when that might have gotten an automatic green light.
Where you think your going Joyce? Face the consequences of your lies.
Normally I’m all for defending Joyce, but… no. This is utterly indefensible. At least with the Amber/Danny thing, it was just wrong but you could at least explain it away as a clusterfuck of mental health issues.
This? This is not that. It’s not even wrong so much as it’s an utter travesty of stupid choices.
At least with Amber she was trying to avoid her shitweasel father by surrounding herself with people.
And Amber’s lie even ended up helping Danny, though she didn’t realize it. His awful mom respected him again because she thought he had an intelligent girlfriend. Because she doesn’t respect him by himself.
And there wasn’t really a third party involved in that one – since AG and Amber were close enough at the time that AG would have been aware of what was going on and okay with it. Plus, she didn’t start it with his parents while he wasn’t around.
Still something Danny was quite justified being upset about, but not nearly the potential for disaster this has.
In her defense, it’s only going to negatively affect her in the end
Or it could affect Jacob, because it’d affect Harrison’s perception of him. Or Raidah, because Joyce is kind of stepping over her relationship. Or hey, even affect Sarah’s friendship with Jacob.
Everything we do matters.
Well that would be their fault for not communicating amongst themselves properly. If they handle the situation the way they should, the only thing that should happen is everyone realizing Joyce is an asshole and limiting their interactions with her.
I hope you’re not actually blaming Jacob and Sarah and Raidah for Joyce’s actions here.
If they fall for it or blame each other, it will be their fault, yes.
I would blame them if they turned against each other for something that was all Joyce, instead of communicating and saying “hey, I had no clue Joyce was gonna say she was my girlfriend. I thought our relationship was completely platonic, but will now re-evaluate how I interact with her. “
I can blame Sarah for helping to kick off this whole scheme, even if not for this particular episode.
It might only affect Joyce if the others, such as Jacob, didn’t care about their relationship with Joyce, but they clearly do. Something that negatively impacts their friendship is going be hard for him too.
In my headcanon that just went off, “Utter Travesty of Stupid Choices” was the working title for this strip.
I’m going to be honest I’m kind of looking forward to a semi Jacob Focus story. I feel he’s a character with a lot of hidden potential
I agree.
Why is this giving me flashbacks of Amber butting in on Danny’s meeting with his parents?
good parallel. It is pretty similar
Anybody help with the Alt-Text?
“Cross your fingers”
It’s fun to watch her squirm when it’s her fault
Mind Y was tagged in yesterday’s strip, but not today. It’s a conspiracy, I tells ya!
Ok, so… this probably doesn’t matter to anyone but myself, but I feel the need to say it.
Up until Monday, waiting for this site to update was something I looked forward to every day, but this week has been so cringy that I can’t even bring myself to read the strips anymore.
So I think I’ll stay away for a while; hopefully by the time this whole sitcom thing has resolved itself I can manage to read it all at once, kinda like ripping a band-aid.
Yeah, I really enjoy DoA the vast majority of the time but every now and again the secondhand embarrassment just gets painful. :/
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
But train wrecks are just so fascinating.
I know that feeling.
That’s me with the Blaine/Toedad arc. It’s cartoonish villainy in a way that’s too real to stomach.
There are certain parts of “The Office” I can’t bear to watch either.
everything with michael scott
Yeah I get that. I’m incapable of watching nathan for you. It makes me die inside of cringe.
Come on Joyce. Come clean.
Official prediction (having not read the last few days of comments):
Through exactly these kind of hijinks, Jacob manages not to catch on until they all end up in the same room as Raidah. He behaves in a clearly romantic way around Raidah, and Harrison, being an Aggressively Upstanding Dude, openly calls him out on how disrespectful it is to flirt with other women, especially right in front of Joyce.
Raidah reads this as “he’s been secretly dating Joyce all along AND she’s the girlfriend his family knows about,” which probably carries a heavy undertone of inferred religious disapproval, and she loudly dumps him and flounces off. Joyce suffocates under the mountain of bullshit she has created. End scene.
You either have read Willis mind, or just showed one of the most common chick flick tropes about a web of lies.
That would mean she gets away here. That would need a distraction. I think I hear footsteps approaching….
Nope, they go out to lunch together, earlier than planned and only meet up with Raidah afterwards. Or not at all?
Bonus: all this takes place at Dina/Sarah’s birthday party.
Bonus option: in her anger Raidah lets slip that she was dating Jacob specifically to meet and network with his slightly famed brother.
Joyce, you either run like an idiot or confess your sins. Don’t try to drag along your lies. There’s no memory erasing device, no Head Alien, no Cheese, no romantic triangle with Walky and Dina, and no homophobia. You have no excuses to not be honest.
Sorry, Joyce. You dug yourself into this hole, now you get to sleep in it.
That sounds awfully NSFW for Joyce.
I’m curious about Jacobs reaction. Posing as someone’s partner is somewhere between creepy and stalker. I’d be pissed.
Jacob’s… dense when it comes to women. I’m not sure if there’s a name for the SI unit for density beyond kg per cubic meter, but if there is, stick a yotta- in front of it. I don’t think he’s going to realize what’s going on at all, and when Harrison tells him he’ll just blow it off as “nah, that couldn’t happen, are you sure you heard right?”
Well that depends. Has Raidah said, ‘Joyce is getting awfully close to you’?
I mean, it could just as easily go as ‘wait, she can’t be coming onto me, we’re just friends, and if I bring it up and it’s not a thing then I just seem paranoid.’
I think this kind of density is measured in AHAPs (Averaged Harem Anime Protagonist), Jacob is sitting around 250 milli-AHAPs +/-5%. So quite dense but still within the realm of realism.
Better come clean now, Joyce, it can only get more embarrassing the longer this goes on.
a’wwwwwwww. Nervous Jacob is adorable.
Joyce should just teleport to Dorothy and be done with it.
Well, it does beat IW!Joyce pulling apart the elevator doors with her bare hands.
A) Dorothy will not be sympathetic.
B) She’s busy studying.
C) …. actually, I’m not sure she still exists. She may have fallen into a studying singularity and been removed from this universe.
Heck, the last time those two were in a strip together was in March!
She is intensly busy being jelaous about Becky’s new job and feeling guilty about being jelaous about Becky’s new job.
MULTITASKING!
When you need guaranteed egress, STAIRWELLS.
Yup. Elevator is a rookie move.
You’re falling back into your web of lies, Joyce!
Tomorrow’s strip: Joyce miraculously dies.
Wouldn’t be the first time
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/detritus/
Do you hear a train whistle? Is it just me? Also, why are we standing on some tracks? I swear that whistle is getting louder…
I don’t understand Joyce’s mental processes, and can’t imagine how I would react in Jacob’s position.
Well, the first tasks for Jacob are to verify that (a) he is awake and (b) he has not slipped sideways into a parallel universe.
Right. The situation is bizarre.
I see where this is going now: Willis is challenging himself to keep this whole arc going for as long as possible without Jacob’s total inability to know what Harrison is hinting at regarding Joyce starting to get ridiculous.
Meanwhile… Yeah, panel 2 tells me that there is a bit of an unbalanced relationship here. It isn’t really Harrison’s fault; to get where he is, you have to be at least a bit pushy and I think Jacob’s hero-worship is just a tad too strong for him to stand up for himself.
FWIW, I still have no idea why Joyce did it. She must have known that it would fall apart almost immediately. I can only conclude that the fantasy was just so wonderful and something that she so desperately wants that to live it, even for a few minutes, was irresistible!
mayyyyyybe just a bit unbalanced…
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/numerous/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/fool/
Maybe things just always came easy to Harrison and Jacob has to work at it – he was a not racially prejudiced against Sal to the Harrison golden child so Harrison just isn’t seeing the reasons behind all the stress and pushing. The difference in this dynamic is Harrison saw at least his golden child status, stood by his sibling and didn’t take it for granted, and actually cares about Jacob beyond his abilities. Head canon not anything else.
She panicked, but then she handled it.
https://media.giphy.com/media/ZPTYYyEtEMoCc/giphy.gif
Resistance is futile!
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/fool/
dang, meant to be a reply to BenRG
I was assuming Joyce would realize she screwed up when Raidah showed up, not before.
Honestly, I think Joyce realized she screwed up as she said it, but she just doesn’t know how to get out of it.
I honestly think that Joyce was fighting herself the whole time because there was a part of her that desperately wanted to live the fantasy, even if only briefly. She couldn’t override that, no matter how wrong she knew was. Which is more sad than bad, when you think about it.
Joyce, I love you and all, but this has to happen. You need a wake up call. You need to see that your behavior has repurcussions.
Jacob I honestly feel sorry for. Dude finally sees his big bro and adorable nephew, and now he’s finding out someone he thought was a friend is pretending to be his girlfriend.
Honestly though, only good thing coming out of this is a potential break up with Raidah. Jacob deserves better than her.
Unknown to Joyce, Harrison is strongly allergic to sitcom-style shenanigans. Even a hint of a wacky misunderstanding could be fatal!
♫I ran to the lift just to hide my face
But the lift cried out ‘NO HIDING PLACE!’
There’s no hiding place down here!♫
(seriously, she should have run for the stairs or something)
That would have required that she be far less flustered than she is!
Ah, the power of baby to get one’s self in hot water. Although this one is probably more on Joyce than Jamie
C’mon, Jamie is clearly and by far the only smart character in this whole situation. Why you got to put him down like that?
*Jaime, sorry kid, I suck at names.
Hi, me.
So, she still believes in miracles or is just a joke? Can’t wait to see what happens next in this awkwardness spiral.
A smiting would prevent this current crisis and halt her crisis of faith. It’s intensely wishfully thinking that she could successfully capture two birds flying from the burning bush.
Two Birds Flying from the Burning Bush is gonna be the name of my next album.
Cross fingers, Joyce.
Nice sitcom ya got going here.
At least, since this unexpectedly early, Raidah will not be planning to meet them for brunch. Even Jacob isn’t planning for this, since he was planning on class. Unless Raidah happens upon them at the restaurant, we might avoid an explosion.
Plus the baby was so happy to see Joyce but seems to be eyeing Jacob as a meal.
Also, confession is good for the soul Joyce. Better now than when there’s even more to confess to.
But if there’s more to confess, it will be better for the soul!
There was an old heresy I’m fond of that said that we should sin more so that God could better show his glory by forgiving those bigger sins.
My blackhole of cringe is beginning to form. Soon, all will be consumed into a dense ball of second hand embarrassment and screaming.
Joyce, just say you felt put on the spot and said the wrong thing on accident. It may not be 100% true, but it’s the only way out at this point and might even get to be a “we all laugh about social awkwardness” moment.
Of course, she’ll probably just double down… TnT
oh you’re THAT Jason’s brother! oh my boyfriend is another guy named Jason hahaha. nope i’m pretty sure you’re the one who said you were jason’s brother that definitely happened maybe
*jacob omg my brain
Suddenly miraculously dying is how I get out of most social interactions, too.
Thats sounds… not perfect.
It’s actually great, if you only intend to have one social interaction.
That’s one too many. Time to go be a mountain hermit.
oh NOW you realize how stupid your idea was?? why didn’t you think about it at the time? what was even the point?! obviously you didn’t want Jacob and his brother to find out you lied–not that it’s plausible that he wouldn’t find out soon enough, given that Jacob’s new girlfriend is almost certainly going to be a topic of conversation–so you just wanted to convince Harrison that you were Jacob’s girlfriend… why, exactly? just so it would be a “real” relationship in someone’s brain? you literally had no reason to do this, except that you just wanted to pretend in that fleeting moment, but you could have done that NOT OUT LOUD. oh my GOD
Sorry for ranting.
It’s all good. It’s what most of us are thinking, anyway.
I mean, in Joyce’s defense, it was a single moment impulse that happened just a minute ago. There wasn’t really any time to think through the ramifications of how it might go. You would have to just know it was a terrible idea.
Against Joyce’s defense, everyone did just know it was a terrible idea.
So, I’ve got a vocabulary question of sorts. See, there’s a cook at work who consistently refers to one of our cashiers with a certain slur. The cook’s black, and said cashier is Mexican.
So, when this cook refers to the cashier as a certain word starting with W, is that racist? It feels racist, but Twitter People are always saying only white people can be racist, due to power dynamics. Would “prejudiced” be more accurate?
Either way, I don’t think he should be using slurs like that, but I want to have my terminology straight.
It’s totally racist. Non-white people can be racist against other non-white people. We don’t have a monopoly on racism, we’ve just been far more effective than most :/
Just like how women can be misogynistic. I cringe every time I see a photo of a certain president standing in front of a crowd of supporters that are partly women.
To add to what Inahc said, non-white people can also be racist against white people. What they CAN’T do (in the US and the vast majority of western world) is turn that racism into systemic racism, because they don’t occupy a sufficient number of positions of sufficient power. It’s not less racist, it just has far less severe consequences.
Once (if?) we solve that issue, a LOT of people are going to be shocked (SHOCKED) that POCs are just as bad as white people, they’ve just had less opportunities to be bad. Much like now that women are (slowly) lessening the gap to men as far as positions of power go, everyone is gasping that they’re just as bad, corrupt, and exploitative bosses as the dudes.
The corollary to everyone being people regardless of gender or ethnicity is that most everyone sucks regardless of gender or ethnicity.
This.
I would say yes 100%. Even if say the cashier is the cook’s best friend and says “oh we call each other horrible things all the time,” there still the question of why isn’t he keeping other people of the same race in mind and why is he using said language in a professional setting.
Yes, I think the term “racism” is currently being used only to refer to systemic oppression with social power behind it. But I think everyone agrees that you don’t need systemic power to be bigoted, prejudiced, insulting, offensive, or degrading. So I’d try one of those terms.
Even with that definition, you don’t need the social power personally, if you’re acting in line with the larger social forces.
Using that definition, you can’t be racist against white people because that’s not where the systemic oppression is aimed, but even non-white people can be racist against other oppressed groups. The black cook in this example is leveraging the existing systemic oppression against the Mexican cashier.
Embarrassment is a seriously dangerous killer.
Joyce might be in luck.
This is so embarrassing *I* might die.