Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 8, 2026

Hot second

by David M Willis on September 20, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Birthday Pursuit
└ Tags: danny, dina, sal

Discussion (223) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 20, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    now Danny’s copying Joe lolololol

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      September 20, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

      Dumbing of Age Book Threeve: Yeah, Well, Let’s See You Scarf Up These NEXT Sloppy Seconds!

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 20, 2019 at 1:10 am | #

        When I hear the term Sloppy Seconds, I think of that used clothing store chain from Saints Row 2.

      • Arawn
        Arawn
        September 20, 2019 at 12:26 pm | #

        . . . The worst part is that since Walky DOES have this thing with his exes… I can’t convince myself they 100% won’t. That’s why, for our sake, please don’t have Danny and Sal hook up.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          September 20, 2019 at 12:58 pm | #

          Yeah I know rite 😓

          Dumbing of Age Book $Texas: Mostly McNuggets

  2. Newllend(henryvolt)
    Newllend(henryvolt)
    September 20, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    Oh no Danny is back on his bullshit, this is going to be the mother of all Dannying it up moment’s I can feel it.

    Shit he’ll be lucky she doesn’t break his arm for calling her “Baby girl.”

    • Electriccombines
      Electriccombines
      September 20, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

      I can practically HEAR Scooby Doo going “RUH-ROH” in the background.
      Yeah I’m pretty sure Sal is fed up with being objectified. Wouldn’t be surprised if she tells him off, she’s probably still kind of vulnerable after Marcie’s confession.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 20, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      It seems New Danny can be just as dumb as Old Danny. Maybe after Sal gives him a good beating he’ll become Newer Danny and gain some common sense.

      • Newllend(henryvolt)
        Newllend(henryvolt)
        September 20, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

        This is what happens when he doesn’t sit down long enough to let the hat do the thinking for him

        • sirconanad
          sirconanad
          September 20, 2019 at 12:46 am | #

          but when he was sitting down he wasn’t wearing the hat so it couldn’t influence his thoughts

          it was only when he stood up that the hat regained control

          and this plan is probably what I’d expect from such a hat…

          • Newllend(henryvolt)
            Newllend(henryvolt)
            September 20, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

            Nonsense and blasphemy, he only got this idea in his head because he didn’t get the hat back on sooner.

            • Clif
              Clif
              September 20, 2019 at 8:47 am | #

              My theory is that this is still anti-Danny from the concussion.

      • Icalasari
        Icalasari
        September 20, 2019 at 2:49 am | #

        I think it’s more that he’s so pissed at Walky and Amber that he’s just… Acting on impulse

        …I kind of wonder how much of this Mike expected?

    • LeslieBean4shizzle
      LeslieBean4shizzle
      September 20, 2019 at 1:16 am | #

      I know, right?
      The last few days, I’ve been surprisingly okay with Danny.
      And then this happened. Back to usual. Thank goodness?

      • sdrainbow
        sdrainbow
        September 20, 2019 at 4:06 am | #

        Mike is the Cthaeh.

  3. Sporky
    Sporky
    September 20, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    No matter what happens, Walky certainly won’t be dating Sal. Danny also probably will have a broken arm in a moment.

    • GoblinScribe
      GoblinScribe
      September 20, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

      Danny definitely just has a crush on Walky, right?

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        September 20, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

        Then obviously he should date himself for a while. If the pattern holds, Walky will snap him right up when the time’s right.

        • Suitora
          Suitora
          September 20, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

          Honestly, since Walky’s foodiesexual, all he has to do is grab him some McNuggets, pizza, or a bean burrito from Taco Bell.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      September 20, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

      I’d say it was likely Sal was gonna hit him with the ukulele, but Sal respects musical instruments too much for that.

    • Walky_Talky
      Walky_Talky
      September 20, 2019 at 8:24 am | #

      This got very Game of Thrones very fast.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 20, 2019 at 11:37 am | #

      Sal doesn’t do much violent lashing out, so his arm’s probably safe.

      His ego, on the other hand, is in for a bruising.

  4. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    September 20, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    careful Danny, you’ll awaken the incest shippers

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 20, 2019 at 11:38 am | #

      They sleep?

      • Micki
        Micki
        September 28, 2019 at 3:12 pm | #

        …With each other

  5. Regalli
    Regalli
    September 20, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    *Grabs more popcorn* Trainwreck! Trainwreck!

    Poor Walkertons. Why do the ships always come true in the worst possible ways for them? (Lately, at least. Jason/Sal could only be a trashfire and Walky/Dorothy was only moderately embarrassing.)

  6. cesium133
    cesium133
    September 20, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    This will end badly.

    In fact it may even end worse than Joyce and Jacob…

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      September 20, 2019 at 1:05 am | #

      It started very badly, and it hasn’t even started yet.

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 20, 2019 at 8:50 am | #

        See, and I was going to post “This will end well.”

  7. Tan
    Tan
    September 20, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Danny, sweetie, no.

  8. Julez
    Julez
    September 20, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Well this ends poorly

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      September 20, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

      Think of it as a growth opportunity.

      • Freemage
        Freemage
        September 20, 2019 at 12:22 am | #

        Assuming one is talking about the growth of large lumps on his noggin….

        • Chaucer59
          Chaucer59
          September 20, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

          Yes. Agreed. At least with Joyce, we know Jacob is interested. Sal treats Danny like a halfwit baby brother. Not anyone’s idea of the ideal fuck toy. Danny needs to reset his sights on Ethan.

          • Chaucer59
            Chaucer59
            September 20, 2019 at 12:40 am | #

            Wrong place. WTF?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            September 20, 2019 at 7:29 am | #

            Sal treats Danny as a friend. One of very few she has. She hasn’t shown any interest, but it’s at least possible something could develop out of that.

            This is precisely the wrong way to go about that.

          • Sam
            Sam
            September 20, 2019 at 10:03 am | #

            He in fact does not. Ethan already said no. No means no.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              September 20, 2019 at 10:44 am | #

              Ethan said no (and Danny said no at almost the same time), because of the fallout for Amber. If the reasons that someone said no change, it’s reasonable to revisit the question.

              It’s like asking someone out and they turn you down because they’re seeing some one else. Then they break up. Is that “No means no” and you can’t try again?

              Except even more so in this case, since no one actually asked. They both just spontaneously said they can’t do that because of Amber. If Danny can’t reset his sights on Ethan because of that, then Ethan can’t for Danny either, so this would have to be permanent, regardless of how the situation or feelings change.

              • Sam
                Sam
                September 20, 2019 at 9:08 pm | #

                Ethan literally made it clear three strips ago that his feelings on it hadn’t changed. I’m saying this because Ethan has *already* reaffirmed that his feelings on it being a bad idea haven’t changed and that continuing pursuit would be disrespectful as it seems like his view on that is unlikely to change.

                I say this is a ‘no means no’ situation because Ethan might not have literally said no, but he was clearly letting him down gently no more than 2 minutes ago in comic time and for him this seems like a line he isn’t willing to cross. If it is to be revisited again, it would have to be Ethan that brings it up because while Danny is willing to, Ethan still is not and is the one who is fridging the possibility.

                And honestly, I think if you have asked out someone and they have said no, you shouldn’t try again, regardless of why they said no. If they have reconsidered or want to give things a chance after all or to know if you are still interested, they are perfectly capable of coming to you and telling/asking you themselves.

                In a case where they both mutually agreed they shouldn’t, it should only really be revisited if there is reason to believe circumstances have actually changed. At this point, Danny should back off as Ethan reaffirmed his feelings about it hadn’t changed. And if they do, Ethan can come to Danny and tell him that himself.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          September 20, 2019 at 8:09 am | #

          Swelling TOTALLY counts as growth!!

          • Wizard
            Wizard
            September 20, 2019 at 8:39 am | #

            As does scar tissue.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              September 20, 2019 at 11:40 am | #

              But not dismemberment.

  9. JetstreamGW
    JetstreamGW
    September 20, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Oh cool, Danny’s gonna get slugged in the jaw.

  10. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    September 20, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Danny, you are supposed to be doing better and be a good egg Danny. Don’t give in to the darkside and be like Joe.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

      Also, trying this shit with Sal is likely to go nowhere good, remember that.

  11. Deathjavu
    Deathjavu
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Danny is just displaying all his worst qualities in the first 4 panels, and Joe’s worst quality in the last panel. This is the hardest he’s Danned in this universe, frankly.

    Some things just aren’t about you, Danny!

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      September 20, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

      We’ve seen people be much dumber, more often, and not become a verb. This is probably the only dumb thing he’s done in hundreds of strips, let him have it.

      “Let him have it” is what Sal’s going to probably do, anyway.

      • woobie
        woobie
        September 20, 2019 at 8:43 pm | #

        “Let him have it”?
        iswydt

  12. Mada
    Mada
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    So who’s fucking up harder here; Danny or Joyce?

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      September 20, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

      We won’t know until we see how both end, but I’m still leaning to Joyce.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        September 20, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

        It’s not too late for Danny to realize ‘shit I have Fucked That Up, sorry, forget what I said and let’s pretend it never happened and I’ll trade you a shiny Charizard.’ Meanwhile, Joyce has firmly enmeshed herself in such a way there is no getting out of without Significant Awkward and ‘Wait. WHAT?!’ from Harrison when he finds out.

        • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
          ǝ snow ʍousɐ
          September 20, 2019 at 5:44 pm | #

          Yeah but at least Jacob’s cool with the deception, and Harrison’s content while he believes it’s true. Sal’s not going to be cool with this…

          It’s sort of a matter of consent, really, although Jacob’s consent might be compromised by brother worship. But that’s not Joyce’s fault, and from her perspective he could have shut this down as soon as she gave him the guilty-but-pleading smile.

          • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
            ǝ snow ʍousɐ
            September 20, 2019 at 5:45 pm | #

            (That being said, before Jacob actively agreed to this, it was definitely sketchier.)

    • Newllend(henryvolt)
      Newllend(henryvolt)
      September 20, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      Depends on how dramatic the fallout of either encounter is.

    • Sporky
      Sporky
      September 20, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      Sal isn’t currently in a relationship, so Danny by default.

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      September 20, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

      Which infinity is bigger?

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        September 20, 2019 at 12:41 am | #

        “When I’m with Danny, my fuckups are the Aleph-one fuckups.”

    • Hoboturtle
      Hoboturtle
      September 20, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

      Definitely Joyce cause less then noble reasons aside, Sal is single AND she does get along with Danny.

    • Woomy
      Woomy
      September 20, 2019 at 1:32 am | #

      Lying about your relationship with someone vs flirting with a girl you like…

      Imma go with Joyce.

      • Ron
        Ron
        September 20, 2019 at 3:08 am | #

        Yup, completely agree. Danny is at least being honest albeit for not so good reasons.

    • fire_daws
      fire_daws
      September 20, 2019 at 2:34 am | #

      Joyce. What Danny is doing is stupid but what Joyce is doing is evil.

    • JBento
      JBento
      September 20, 2019 at 7:08 am | #

      Joyce, and it isn’t even close. Danny is neither lying nor breaking up a relationship. Danny will also be fucking up for a shorter length of time, either because he comes to his senses or because, unlike Jacob, Sal is gonna the brakes on the whole thing so hard it’ll leave skidmarks (in the latter situation, the merit is Sal’s, of course).

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        September 20, 2019 at 7:31 am | #

        He is however very likely going to completely screw up his friendship with Sal and possibly her recent attempts spread her idea of friendship beyond Marcie altogether.

        • JBento
          JBento
          September 20, 2019 at 8:48 am | #

          Oh, there’s no doubt that either Danny catches himself and stops this nonsense early in the next strip or this is going to be an entire wreck, it’s just not as bad a wreck.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            September 20, 2019 at 10:38 am | #

            Joyce’s behavior is worse. The wreck that comes from this might actually be worse.

  13. Terrader16
    Terrader16
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    hey baby girl lol

    • Newllend(henryvolt)
      Newllend(henryvolt)
      September 20, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

      Expected reaction: https://youtu.be/57ZMPAr3aW0

  14. lia47
    lia47
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    danny is like one of my favorite characters now honestly

  15. Thores
    Thores
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Man I ship them in this universe more than I ever did in the last one, but this is a baaad way to kick things off.

  16. emeraldbeacon
    emeraldbeacon
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    (checks the alt text)
    DAMN YOU WILLIS

    • Jon Rich
      Jon Rich
      September 20, 2019 at 6:37 am | #

      I love the fact that he’s referencing the Folger’s Incest Commercial.

      For those who aren’t aware, here’s the commercial, or, more accurately, the “extended version,” with a parody tacked on the end of the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

  17. Kravis
    Kravis
    September 20, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh no!
    A wild Danny appears!

    Sal uses “Fuck off!”

  18. William Leonard Reese Jr.
    William Leonard Reese Jr.
    September 20, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    **Gags** Gods Danny why?

  19. Newllend(henryvolt)
    Newllend(henryvolt)
    September 20, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny look we know your pissed bit that doesn’t mean this hast to become a downward spiral. Also let’s be clear on same things here, Danny they both dumped you so your THEIR sloppy seconds.

  20. BBCC
    BBCC
    September 20, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Ooof, damn, so this is where 13 years of hanging out with Joe went.

    Danny, you’re not Agent Morgan. Knock it off.

    And I dunno what demon possessed him to start calling women sloppy seconds but how do we send it back?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      September 20, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      I’m considering the possibility that Roomies! Danny has taken over our Danny’s body and the Multiversal Merging has begun. Soon, Joyce, Joyce, and Goatee Joyce will fight Head Alien.

      Soon, Soggies may rule.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        September 20, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

        The hell they will! Linkara’s on it. 😛

        • Zero
          Zero
          September 20, 2019 at 1:22 am | #

          Unfortunately Linkara is busy atm trying to stop Dr. Crafty from decapitating him and sewing his head onto a cat’s body.

          Really shouldn’t have reviewed Franken Fran.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            September 20, 2019 at 2:25 am | #

            Look, sometimes he takes a while, but he’ll get here eventually. 🙂

    • LeslieBean4shizzle
      LeslieBean4shizzle
      September 20, 2019 at 1:26 am | #

      See, this is the reason I continue to despise Danny.
      Every time he seems to be growing on me, even slightly, he has to danny it up by being a vile little … **trails off grumbling**

  21. ReFlex76
    ReFlex76
    September 20, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    *Game of Thrones Music Stars Playing*

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      September 20, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      Sal: “Walky, our son became a tyrant.”
      Walky: “I knew incest was a bad idea.”

      Danny: *Being drunk.* “I-I loved Amber, b-but… she was t-taken from me by-by Targary-ryen hic!”
      Sal: “Don’t you mean, Mike?”
      Danny: “S-same thing same thing… have I told you how much I love you…”
      Sal: “Eww… This is one reason I became an incest practitioner.”

  22. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    September 20, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

    1)Yeah, incest would be awkward.
    2)Knowing the nature of Dumbing of Age, the chances of Danny x Sal are as low as Joe x Rachel. Alternate realities are messed up, and this universe will stay the way it is as long as Ruth doesn’t become insane because of of Integrivact.

  23. AntJ
    AntJ
    September 20, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

    I love the double entendre of the strip title

  24. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    September 20, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    *doesn’t think anybody here has time for a playing of Anna Russell’s commentary on Wagner’s Ring Cycle*

  25. DEAD MEME
    DEAD MEME
    September 20, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    *saxophone music intensifies*

  26. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    September 20, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    /me gags.

    Holy fuck. Now Danny is trying to seduce Sal to get revenge on Walky? That’s vile.

    • Newllend(henryvolt)
      Newllend(henryvolt)
      September 20, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      Danny makes bad decisions when he’s royally pissed.

    • Swissaboo
      Swissaboo
      September 20, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

      No. He’s trying to seduce Sal because that way if they break up he can be 100% sure that walky will not date her afterwards.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        September 20, 2019 at 12:42 am | #

        Either that or Danny has an incest fetish.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        September 20, 2019 at 1:04 am | #

        That is still not about Sal. He’s treating Sal as an object in a stupid feud he wants to have with Walky. Danny is not approaching Sal on account of her own qualities but because she is Walky’s sister and he wants to disconcert Walky.

        blegh

  27. Diner Kinetic
    Diner Kinetic
    September 20, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

    OMFG every strip in this arc is my favorite; this just beat out Dina’s desired B-Day gift

  28. ADLegend21
    ADLegend21
    September 20, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

    No Danny, not like this.

  29. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    September 20, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

    I think this is a new location AND I MUST KNOW WHERE IT IS! Aaaand of course I’m in a place where the internet connection is too slow to Street-View-stalk.

    The thing Sal’s leaning against resembles a sarcophagus? Surely it’s distinct enough that if you saw it IRL or from Street View, there wouldn’t be any question of the location.

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      September 20, 2019 at 12:48 am | #

      Oh, that’s not a port-a-potty then, huh.

      • Charlie Spencer
        Charlie Spencer
        September 20, 2019 at 6:23 am | #

        Yeah, that was my first reaction too.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      September 20, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

      Someone on Patreon kindly provided the answer. It is just off the street from Rawles Hall (in the background) where the Math department is housed. Misled by the shape of the gate stone, I was searching half a mile away.

  30. AeromechanicalAce
    AeromechanicalAce
    September 20, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    And Danny has taken a flying leap into the grody ball pit of Fuckboyism…

  31. Solenoid
    Solenoid
    September 20, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

    Well, at least we know he was projecting that entire time right? Damnit, Danny.

  32. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    September 20, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

    Danny knows they’re related anyway so it’s the only option Walky wouldn’t dare consider.

    But whew he really needs to work on his opening lines.

  33. ian livs
    ian livs
    September 20, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

    Okay, the alt-text fucking murdered me. Ever since my brother and I saw that commercial years ago, we’ve made fun of it relentlessly (to our mom’s absolute confusion bc she’s the only person on this entire planet who sees that commercial as wholesome and not “off” at all), but also laughing because the comments section has CALLED this, haha

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      September 20, 2019 at 2:19 am | #

      I didn’t realize the alt-text was referencing that folger’s commercial until now.

    • Jon Rich
      Jon Rich
      September 20, 2019 at 6:40 am | #

      Totally agree, ian, absolutely love that commercial, especially the “extended version” with the parody tacked on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        September 20, 2019 at 12:36 pm | #

        Ugh, not available in Canada. Fucking goddamn fucking region bullshit.

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          September 20, 2019 at 3:43 pm | #

          Why not bounce your GPS to a country that can view it? I’ve done similar, and there’s no repercussions.

  34. asingleplum
    asingleplum
    September 20, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

    Why is this his plan? Why not just go for Ethan who he actually wants?

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      September 20, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

      The poor fool got sidetracked by thoughts of Walky dating all his exes to care about the more pressing matter involving Amber.

      • Diner Kinetic
        Diner Kinetic
        September 20, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

        I’m just glad he’s making this joke happen so we, the comments, don’t have to. Also let’s be real, MWAHAHAHAHAHAH. I wouldn’t be shocked if somehow this was part

      • Deadjolras
        Deadjolras
        September 20, 2019 at 1:03 am | #

        That, and Amber just informed him that Ethan isn’t looking for anything serious.

        • JessWitt
          JessWitt
          September 20, 2019 at 3:03 pm | #

          Yeah, that too.

    • fire_daws
      fire_daws
      September 20, 2019 at 10:42 pm | #

      Going after a guy that’s in a sort-of relationship with another guy? That’s Joyce level thinking.

  35. Rycan
    Rycan
    September 20, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

    Danny, when you ask yourself, “What would Joe do?”, you’re not supposed to actually DO what Joe would do.

  36. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    September 20, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

    That damn folgers commercial XD

  37. Lacuna
    Lacuna
    September 20, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

    I wanna ruin our friendship
    We should be lovers instead

  38. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 20, 2019 at 12:33 am | #

    This concludes the first session of ‘Sitting on the floor’-club

  39. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    September 20, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

    Oh hovertext. Is that referencing the folgers commercial? Oh boy.

    • Jon Rich
      Jon Rich
      September 20, 2019 at 6:41 am | #

      “The best part of waking up….”

  40. Norah
    Norah
    September 20, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

    Danny, don’t Dan up thos friendship.

    • Norah
      Norah
      September 20, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

      This, not thos.

  41. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 20, 2019 at 12:39 am | #

    I love how Dina tries and fails to follow the monologue.

    “Why is he talking to amber, she has already left this conversation…. wait, he acknowledged that fact. Is it a joke? Irony? Is he still talking to me… amber is not a bird. She is a mammal. He DOES know that, right? Is it a metaphor? Is he angry at birds? Ooooh! I know this one. Walky did not eat fries. I am contributing!”

  42. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 20, 2019 at 12:42 am | #

    Once again, and to my big surprise, Joe’s relationship advices to Danny continue to be really useful, if only he would listen to them.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/romance/

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      September 20, 2019 at 6:06 pm | #

      Is it bad I want to follow around most of the cast just to smack their hands and say “no”?

  43. StClair
    StClair
    September 20, 2019 at 12:43 am | #

    oh god no

  44. whatevsman
    whatevsman
    September 20, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

    DANNY NO

  45. Tacos
    Tacos
    September 20, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

    DANNY. NO. YOU STOP THAT.

  46. Vanessa
    Vanessa
    September 20, 2019 at 1:00 am | #

    Well, I had no idea this was a thing before today. Thanks Ian Livs

    Explained here:

    https://www.bustle.com/articles/131838-that-folgers-brother-sister-christmas-commercial-has-finally-been-explained

    • Hoboturtle
      Hoboturtle
      September 20, 2019 at 3:49 am | #

      Why does that article link to AO3? Why is there fanfic base on this commercial? Why are there 12 of them!?

    • StClair
      StClair
      September 20, 2019 at 5:09 am | #

      My favorite part of the whole thing?
      That’s Jeffrey Combs’ daughter.

      • Jon Rich
        Jon Rich
        September 20, 2019 at 6:43 am | #

        Why is that funny? I don’t know who Jeffrey Combs is.

  47. Tus
    Tus
    September 20, 2019 at 1:00 am | #

    the alt text just got a legit CACKLE out of me fjgkenlfdb that commercial sure is. something

  48. Deadjolras
    Deadjolras
    September 20, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

    Danny, you had me for the first two panels but now all I can say is: DANNY, NO!

  49. ktbear
    ktbear
    September 20, 2019 at 1:09 am | #

    Welp, I had no particular opinion about Danny after all this time, but this one strip has changed all that. On the bright side, Sal’s change of expression in the last panel gives me hope that he’s going to have this stupidity knocked right out of him, one way or another.

  50. Woomy
    Woomy
    September 20, 2019 at 1:16 am | #

    Bro just date Walky

  51. Zero
    Zero
    September 20, 2019 at 1:29 am | #

    Okay people, I’m setting up a betting pool to see who’s gonna fuck shit up first!

    Will it be Contestant #1, Joyce Brown, and her impulsive lie where she claimed she was Jacob’s girlfriend to his brother Harrison backfiring?!

    Will it be Contestant #2, Danny Wilcox, and his attempt to seduce Sal just to get back at Walky and possibly ruin their friendship in the process?!

    Will it be Contestant #3, Rachel Jackson, as she continues to escalate her grudge with Ruth despite her attempts to change and recover from mental illness?!

    Will it be Contestant #4, Blaine O’Malley, as he continues to prove to be this comics biggest sack of shit and further assembles his wannabe Legion of DOOM?!

    Or will it be Contestant #5, Mike Warner, as he simply does what he usually does?!

    Place your bets here as we find out in the upcoming Dumbingbowl 2019!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      September 20, 2019 at 1:55 am | #

      I’m voting for tied (concurrent) winners, while also suggesting that Ryan MIGHT be bigger sack of shit than Blaine. (I go back and forth on it.)

    • Nenja
      Nenja
      September 20, 2019 at 3:57 am | #

      I’m betting on Danny here, if only because Sal will probably not put up with this bullshit and it will go down in flames very fast.

      Since Jacob is now in on Joyce’s lie and keep it up in front of Harrison it got the potential to last this entire chapter. Rachel and Blaine’s storylines have been in the background for awhile now, and might stay there for a while still before they end.

  52. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 20, 2019 at 1:34 am | #

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrpoK7Askck
    Imagine this but with Walky

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      September 20, 2019 at 3:19 am | #

      Never watched that show but this bit makes me regret my life choices.

  53. Beef
    Beef
    September 20, 2019 at 1:34 am | #

    Oh what the fuck Danny. Don’t call people sloppy seconds you’re supposed to be a good egg

  54. Danielle
    Danielle
    September 20, 2019 at 1:35 am | #

    has he forgotten he told sal to fuck off?

    • Deadjolras
      Deadjolras
      September 20, 2019 at 1:43 am | #

      I searched through the danny+sal tag but I must’ve missed something. When did this happen?

      • Danielle
        Danielle
        September 21, 2019 at 3:49 am | #

        “not now, sal” but it had the tone

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 20, 2019 at 9:15 am | #

      Say what?

  55. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    September 20, 2019 at 1:55 am | #

    Panel two: “Daniel-san. Wax on, wax off.”

    • Liquid Len
      Liquid Len
      September 20, 2019 at 10:06 am | #

      Legit LOL’d at work!

  56. 3oranges
    3oranges
    September 20, 2019 at 1:57 am | #

    Man, Danny only lost his hat for a minute, and this is what happens.

  57. Keulen
    Keulen
    September 20, 2019 at 2:06 am | #

    Danny, what are you doing? Stop.

  58. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 20, 2019 at 2:15 am | #

    I’m trying to think of a way to describe the scale of the Pandora’s Box that Danny might be opening here but I’m really failing to do so. What promises to be really interesting (and hilariously funny) is to watch just how bad he is at starting a relationship when he’s actually trying to start a relationship.

    Then again, I may be entirely wrong. It could be that “He’s an idiot but he’s my idiot “is the key to making it work with Sal!

  59. goggleman64
    goggleman64
    September 20, 2019 at 2:27 am | #

    Danny seems totally smashed right now ~ ?

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 20, 2019 at 9:16 am | #

      Concussion. He’s been uninhibited ever since.

  60. fire_daws
    fire_daws
    September 20, 2019 at 2:27 am | #

    Oh Danny ABORT.

  61. theKOT
    theKOT
    September 20, 2019 at 2:35 am | #

    I did a best-case-scenario for Joyce around the last comic we saw from her plot, here’s one for Danny: Danny isn’t really trying to get with Sal, he’s just going to joke with her about it and talk about his frustrations. That will make Sal feel more comfortable about complaining to him and they will both walk away feeling better and having commiserated/advised.

    I call this fantasy land comic “Coming of Age”. It’s a story about surprisingly mature and level headed individuals making the best of bad situations and growing closer as friends and sometimes lovers in extremely healthy relationships.

    • Nimitrick
      Nimitrick
      September 20, 2019 at 8:04 pm | #

      You’re a good egg

  62. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    September 20, 2019 at 2:47 am | #

    So how much did he drink before thinking this would end well?

  63. Inahc
    Inahc
    September 20, 2019 at 2:51 am | #

    Rot13 of the day: V’z ehaavat bhg bs jnlf gb fnl gung jr’er fgvyy sbyybjvat gur fnzr punenpgre.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      September 20, 2019 at 7:10 pm | #

      Solved it. Neat gimmick, but try less easily identified letter combinations next time, Nigma.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        September 21, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

        it, uh, isn’t meant to be hard, it’s meant to obscure potential spoilers. you can “solve” just it by googling “rot13”.

        • He Who Abides
          He Who Abides
          September 21, 2019 at 7:40 am | #

          Ah. Well, screw it. I haven’t been able to do a proper cryptogram in weeks, and it made me feel like Batman outsmarting the Riddler.

  64. Icalasari
    Icalasari
    September 20, 2019 at 2:51 am | #

    You know what? Screw it. Calling it now. Sal is feeling vulnerable enough and pissy enough at the world at this moment that she decides she’ll date Danny. Hijinks ensue, Sal ends up nearly killing Danny, they both learn things about themselves, and due to some inopportune timing, both get screwed over hard due to bystanders spotting them at the worst possible moments

  65. Quietlythundering
    Quietlythundering
    September 20, 2019 at 2:56 am | #

    Daniel, what are doing????

    • Quietlythundering
      Quietlythundering
      September 20, 2019 at 2:58 am | #

      *Daniel, what are you doing?!

    • Portland
      Portland
      September 20, 2019 at 12:09 pm | #

      “Please, Daniel, we can’t keep doing this.”

  66. AGV
    AGV
    September 20, 2019 at 3:21 am | #

    Sal: Ok, Wonderbread, since we’re friends I’ll give you 10 seconds to explain yerself.
    Danny: I’m frustated because I and Ethan thought that we couldn’t hook up because Amber wouldn’t take it lightly but then she goes on to date Walkie and that’s the second ex of mine that he dates and if I date you he won’t date you when we break up… right?
    S: …
    D: …
    S: ‘Aight, stay still so Ah can smack you without knocking out yer teeth.
    D: Life and death and love and birth and peace and war on the planet Earth. Is there anything that’s worth more than peace and love on the planet Earth?

  67. Chronos
    Chronos
    September 20, 2019 at 3:29 am | #

    NO, DANNY!!! BAD!!!! (Smacks him with a rolled-up newspaper)

  68. y3k
    y3k
    September 20, 2019 at 3:39 am | #

    …Boy, between this and Joyce, this whole Day is going to be nothing but A-grade cringe, isn’t it.

  69. Nenja
    Nenja
    September 20, 2019 at 4:01 am | #

    Well fuck, you are not being a good egg now, Danny. Sal/Danny is a fine ship, but do not start it for such awful petty reasons! And I really like their friendship, I don’t want this to ruin it.

    The alt text made me howl with laughter tho.

  70. Joe Covenant
    Joe Covenant
    September 20, 2019 at 5:08 am | #

    Awh Goddamit…
    I ALWAYS wanted Danny and Sal to be (back) together….
    But not like this, dude!

  71. AbelUndercity
    AbelUndercity
    September 20, 2019 at 5:25 am | #

    Sal, hearing the familiar and unwelcome tones of the pickup line, seems understandably wary.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 20, 2019 at 5:42 am | #

      I think that she’d probably be more annoyed if it wasn’t for the fact that, even at this stage, it’s clear that Danny is going for “Unironic and unaware self-parody”.

  72. Liliet
    Liliet
    September 20, 2019 at 5:40 am | #

    You know, that’s… that might legitimately be the only way to break this narrative groove.

    Cookie to anyone who guesses update of what I was reading immediately previously.

  73. Lone Duck
    Lone Duck
    September 20, 2019 at 6:04 am | #

    “So can we date? I have a hate-boner for your brother, and wish to cause him distress.”
    “No way, I’m his sister. Walky always dates your exes, and I just can’t take that chance on eventually being YOUR ex.”

  74. KSClaw
    KSClaw
    September 20, 2019 at 6:13 am | #

    *sigh* Give him a good verbal smacking, Sal.

  75. Shane Wegner
    Shane Wegner
    September 20, 2019 at 6:14 am | #

    In what alternate universe would Danny Sal ever be a thing?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 20, 2019 at 7:18 am | #

      Well, the Walkyverse, for a start. It didn’t work out because the Walkyverse version of Sal is a homicidal sociopath who needed the local equivalent of James Bond to be her boyfriend to make her behave like a civilised human being.

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 20, 2019 at 9:20 am | #

        See sarcasm and irony.

  76. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    September 20, 2019 at 6:22 am | #

    Oh no… Here we are. This will be soooooo good and bad. But really, soooooo goood and baaad that Mike will feel sorry for him and genuinely try to cheer him up.

  77. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 20, 2019 at 6:55 am | #

    *End of storyline*

    Danny with a stunned expression, in bed, hat disheveled, ukulele forgotten on the floor, turns to Jacob next to him: “Well… that was unexpected.”

    • JBento
      JBento
      September 20, 2019 at 7:17 am | #

      Objection: that ukulele would have been used. It would have… seen things.

  78. Orange Lantern
    Orange Lantern
    September 20, 2019 at 7:06 am | #

    Ah, it‘s bad decision day. That explains a lot.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 20, 2019 at 7:20 am | #

      For Danny, it seems that every day is ‘bad decision day’. That how this fandom developed the phrase “Danning it up!” to describe a flat-footed act of self-sabotage.

  79. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 20, 2019 at 7:22 am | #

    Maybe it’s Danny’s fate to be a vigilante hero’s Lois Lane? If not Amber, maybe Sal?

  80. Acebender
    Acebender
    September 20, 2019 at 7:32 am | #

    Danny no

  81. Toper
    Toper
    September 20, 2019 at 7:44 am | #

    Aw. I think Sal appreciated having one friend who wasn’t trying to get with her.

  82. Joe
    Joe
    September 20, 2019 at 7:45 am | #

    Wait does he know they’re related? It’s funnier if he doesn’t know.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 20, 2019 at 7:55 am | #

      He figured it out eventually

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/tall/

  83. Maddieface
    Maddieface
    September 20, 2019 at 8:06 am | #

    Just going to say that by far the bit that is bothering me the most is the part where he and Ethan made an executive decision regarding Amber and he’s now mad at her for not abiding by an agreement that she wasn’t party to and isn’t even aware of.

    Like I think he’s got some pretty valid reasons to not let her know he’s into Ethan but that’s not one of them.

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      September 20, 2019 at 11:28 am | #

      I think he’s more annoyed at wasting the opportunity for smooches because of incorrect presumptions.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      September 20, 2019 at 5:51 pm | #

      I don’t think he’s upset she’s not abiding by an agreement so much as the fact that he and Ethan were concerned about Amber’s well-being and feelings and thus decided to abstain in order to not make things worse for her/give her a complex. You know, attempting to be mindful. Whereas Amber’s all aboard the trash roof train and doesn’t really care to be mindful in the same way. Especially since the break-up was kinda shitty in the first place.

      Admittedly, I’ve had major issues with the Amber/Walky thing all throughout this. Then again I’m ace so there’s obviously a big disconnect here as far as “hormones” and such…

      • Seregiel
        Seregiel
        September 20, 2019 at 6:04 pm | #

        Apt avatar.

      • Deadjolras
        Deadjolras
        September 21, 2019 at 12:46 am | #

        That’s how I see the situation, too! Thank you for putting my thoughts into words. (I’m also ace, if that means anything to anyone).

  84. Tealjoy Grove
    Tealjoy Grove
    September 20, 2019 at 8:51 am | #

    I screamed at my office desk haha Danny no

  85. hof1991
    hof1991
    September 20, 2019 at 9:07 am | #

    Danny’s using the same rom com tropes as Joyce. Pester the lady with music and it will all work out after 90 minutes. Isn’t it romantic?

    • Liquid Len
      Liquid Len
      September 20, 2019 at 10:12 am | #

      I tried that IRL once a long time ago. It crashed and burned so hard I’m still charred.

  86. Terry
    Terry
    September 20, 2019 at 9:30 am | #

    I kinda want to see Sal fix this with stoicism.
    s- “What did you call me?”
    d- “…Baby girl.”
    s- “Why?”
    d- “I was trying to flirt?”
    s- “Poorly.”
    d- “I know.”
    s- “Again, why?”

    And then Danny admits he was upset because Walky started dating his ex. Again. And they bond some more about how annoying Walky is to them.

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      September 20, 2019 at 10:45 am | #

      Me too because if not she might lose one of the only real friends she’s made… and that might also back fire more with Marcie 🙁

    • missilentmurmur
      missilentmurmur
      September 20, 2019 at 1:10 pm | #

      I scrolled this far down to see a commenter who has some faith in their friendship. I’m optimistic about them having a heart-to -heart

      • Seregiel
        Seregiel
        September 20, 2019 at 6:03 pm | #

        Optimistic but also afraid. This is a DYW comic.

  87. Wakeangel2001
    Wakeangel2001
    September 20, 2019 at 9:42 am | #

    True, I doubt Walky would hook up with his twin sister…though it might make him want to sleep with Walky, since he’s bi and they look so much alike with the whole being twins thing…

  88. Zee
    Zee
    September 20, 2019 at 9:46 am | #

    Ha. Ha ha. This is either going to be hilarious or sad. Either way I’m down

  89. Vancore
    Vancore
    September 20, 2019 at 10:01 am | #

    I see Danny, damning it up.

  90. Seregiel
    Seregiel
    September 20, 2019 at 10:48 am | #

    Obviously, he needs to be friends with Walky because they have similar taste and they might have other things they enjoy…like wild leaps and conclusions.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 20, 2019 at 11:12 am | #

      I still assume Danny will end up tutoring Walky in math eventually, because that’s how both their lives are going.

      • Seregiel
        Seregiel
        September 20, 2019 at 11:27 am | #

        A-ha! If Danny dates Walky, walky cannot be his own ex, ergo cycle also broken.

        • 3oranges
          3oranges
          September 20, 2019 at 3:28 pm | #

          You do hear about people dating themselves, but presumably Walky is not allowed to, because of the sliding timescale.

          • Seregiel
            Seregiel
            September 20, 2019 at 6:02 pm | #

            I was thinking more he could never break up with himself. He obviously has datenights already as 50 pc chicken McNuggets.

      • Deathjavu
        Deathjavu
        September 20, 2019 at 6:20 pm | #

        That’s actually completely perfect. Sal, of course, refers Walky to Danny as the person that helped her with math.

  91. TheFlamingonator
    TheFlamingonator
    September 20, 2019 at 11:45 am | #

    Sal’s about to break Dannys ukulele… and arms. possibly by hitting one with the other.

  92. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    September 20, 2019 at 11:46 am | #

    Absolutely nothing can go wrong with this plan and I unreservedly endorse it.

    ….

    [chant] Dumpster fire! Dumpster fire! Dumpster fire! [/chant]

  93. Portland
    Portland
    September 20, 2019 at 12:08 pm | #

    In high school, there was this very sweet girl who kept dating my exes and vice versa. It was never an issue, always more like “amicable breakup, she dates him six months later, two months after that I start dating her ex from the year before” sort of thing. (Hilariously, we were both bi, but this only happened with the guys.)

    Anyways. Last anybody heard from her she was married to a cult leader. I don’t trust my taste in men anymore.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      September 20, 2019 at 3:50 pm | #

      Either you’ve told this story before, or it’s just a recurring event in this fandom. Either way, that’s a yikes.

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        September 20, 2019 at 7:35 pm | #

        I actauly might remember her telling us this one….still messed up on some level.

  94. Jessie
    Jessie
    September 20, 2019 at 12:09 pm | #

    Can someone please link me to the conversation where Danny and Ethan admitted feelings for each other but abstained because of Amber because I DON’T REMEMBER THAT, AND NEED TO.

    • Nenja
      Nenja
      September 20, 2019 at 4:00 pm | #

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/chest/

  95. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    September 20, 2019 at 2:38 pm | #

    G9t you covered- https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/chest/

  96. Potatamoto
    Potatamoto
    September 20, 2019 at 2:50 pm | #

    Is this reminding anyone else of what happened when someone called Star Butterfly ‘Baby Girl?’

    • TheWanderingMist
      TheWanderingMist
      September 20, 2019 at 4:35 pm | #

      Yes, yes it is. And it will end just as badly.

  97. Oberon
    Oberon
    September 20, 2019 at 5:27 pm | #

    It looks like Sal is leaning up against a slightly insubstantial port-a-potty.

  98. Cope
    Cope
    September 20, 2019 at 5:39 pm | #

    The term sloppy seconds has always really grossed me out.

  99. Doopyboop
    Doopyboop
    September 20, 2019 at 5:54 pm | #

    On one hand, Danny deserves better. On the other, Danny don’t even pretend to hit up Sal just to bug Walky, that’s gross.

  100. ǝ snow ʍousɐ
    ǝ snow ʍousɐ
    September 20, 2019 at 6:15 pm | #

    Danny x Sal = no

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      September 20, 2019 at 6:31 pm | #

      I support it strongly. Just not this way.

  101. Tab
    Tab
    September 20, 2019 at 10:52 pm | #

    When they first met Sal asked him who ‘set him up’. The answer this time is apparently sorta Walky.

  102. Kinoko
    Kinoko
    September 20, 2019 at 11:36 pm | #

    DANNY NO

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis!
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Serpexnessie🎨 @serpexnessie.com ⋅ 2d
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
i love when mary worth is not having a normal one
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yeah the subtle color difference is takaratomy films their identical product under warm lights
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TYPICALLY featuring cheddar and parmesan? do you not know what you're putting in there????
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Terminally Online Leftist 🥂 @terminallyol.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
Optimus Prime broke down and cried on the set of "Transformers" (2007) due to the extensive use of green screen filming. He reportedly said, "This is not why I became an actor."
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Guys it's only $1.99!!!! DELUXE edition!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
So he's been playing Jiggly Ball.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
jesus christ how many studio series leader class guys are there next year and the year after probably also
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Gov. Tim Walz is doubling down on trans rights — and criticizing members of his party who are retreating — at a time when the issue has become a political lightning rod nationally and back home in Minnesota.
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look how incredibly photoshopped these lower legs are they definitely lassoed that lower leg color and desaturated it in post
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Takara Transformers Studio Series TS-12 Megatron is up for preorder at HLJ (¥7,440) - bit.ly/3HpjRak
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
hey look, ABS vs nylon vs paint perfect example in comparative light absorbing qualities
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
they managed to get the arms and thighs to be different grays, which I wasn't sure they'd be able to do, the way the mold's set up though maybe they're just producing a lot of extra thighs and/or arms in the wrong colors and throwing those away, i dunno
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Takara Transformers Studio Series TS-12 Megatron is up for preorder at HLJ (¥7,440) - bit.ly/3HpjRak
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