Discussion (177) ¬
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net ⋅ 2d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 3dDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
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“I mean, if you knew my dad, you’d be all NBD too tho”
Leslie does at least know how much her own dad sucks, so she probably understands pretty well.
I AM that cat!
Did you at least get a nice funeral…?
Yes, I live in a little wooden box, next to the dog’s urn. :xo
I couldn’t keep Dog and Cat inside. They’re both scattered out back where they can continue to interact with each other and the squirrels. The previous Cat is in the shrubs from which he would launch his attacks on our ankles.
Ahh, I read that as “replacement car til I saw your comment, cat does make a lot more sense in this context (seeing as a replacement car is pretty much just a matter of practicality and usually not terribly sentimental)
Not necessarily. I still have my first car, and its replacement has since been replaced. I dailied it for ten years, then needed a better commuter but just couldn’t part with it. (Pro tip: don’t try to replace the car your grandfather found and helped you fix soon after he dies.) Six years later, that car needed a bunch of expensive suspension work I couldn’t do, so it got replaced. (Not much sentiment there though, that one was just a machine.)
I’m still sentimental about my (former) ’69 Camaro, which I drove from the time I learned to drive in the late ’70s until 2001 or so when I absolutely could not afford to keep it on the road any more. Definite emotional attachment to that car.
Cat. Car. Both three letters, both get to you better/worse the longer you have them.
For the first couple of decades of my life, my father’s first car’s remains were dragged along with us through at least three moves. (There were a couple of shorter moves very early on I was too young to remember that were close enough together that it’s conceivable it may not have been dragged from one to the other necessarily. It’s also conceivable it could’ve spent that time in my grandmother’s automotive graveyard / front yard.)
Eventually, one of my brothers had a friend over, and they were shown the crap my father kept in our garage which precluded us from using it for any of our current cars.
“Holy crap, is that a Triumph TR2?!?”
“It doesn’t run. It literally doesn’t have an engine.”
“It *is* a Triumph TR2! I totally know a guy who’d pay a lot for one of these!”
“Did you not hear? The engine dropped out 20 years ago, after my father accidentally flew his car…”
“Does not matter. This guy is crazy like that. He has just about all of the Triumph models *except* this one. So long as the body’s intact, he’ll buy it.”
“The seats have rotted out.”
“It’s 30 years old. Of course the seats are rotted out. Does not matter.”
So eventually, it lived again, despite having been totaled by the insurance company. Also kind of hilariously, all the time my father had spent going to antique car shows looking for a collector who would be interested in buying and refurbishing it wasn’t needed. (It was probably still the pragmatic approach, though.)
Aw Becks. I sure hope you end up ok.
Leslie officially being Becky’s new mom? 6 seasons and a movie, please.
Helps that I’ve always imagined Leslie with the voice of Pearl from Steven Universe, and Becky with that of Amethyst. Like, even before they started significantly interacting, I was doing that.
I honestly think that Leslie’s attempt to mom Becky is having the opposite effect she’s intending. It’s a nice bit of writing but Becky neither wants or needs a new mother. She’s 18 and HAS a mother who raised her.
What Becky wants/wanted from Leslie was a big lesbian sister who could be her role model.
They want very different things and this inspired Becky to leave Leslie.
How would Leslie’s actions be different if she was being Becky’s big lesbian sister?
Less trying to act responsible. More playful.
Like, “yes, Leslie, I am very fucking aware of all the parts of my identity that make my life suck. That’s kinda what I’ve been dealing with. But I’m really sheltered, so like, maybe you could introduce me to some of the parts of my identity that are GOOD, actually?”
The issue being, of course, Leslie hasn’t actually done much to seek those parts of life, herself, due to her sense of repression and inadequacy. If anything, Becky’ll end up helping her fix that.
Hell, Becky got Leslie laid.
When a big sister is as much older as Leslie is to Becky, “less acting responsible” is not usually how it works out in my experience.
I think Leslie is only like 26 or so.
I would have guessed early thirties, since she’s teaching her own class. 26 would only be a couple years out of college.
Leslie can be Becky’s cool lesbian aunt, and Hank can be her new stepdad.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/scaredmess/
Word of Leslie is 26.
Well aware, it just seems improbable that she’d be teaching classes already.
Not saying it’s likely for a teacher to have their own class at that age, but I did have a professor who was 26. Admittedly, it was very clear it was their first their own class.
I also had several lecture TAs who were about as in charge of their class as what we’ve seen Leslie being. (At least, I do not recall seeing anything indicating that Leslie doesn’t have a professor she reports to that isn’t the department head.)
As I’m thinking about it, only one of my classes my freshman year wasn’t taught by a lecture TA, with no actual sign of a professor if you didn’t look for them. (As in, I don’t recall the syllabus or anything saying who the professor was. You could find out by talking with your academic advisor regarding a serious issue with your lecture TA, but apart from that, you dealt entirely with TAs.) That one class where we actually got to see the professor was actually taught by the undergraduate department head, because he felt like teaching a class that semester.
One of those 26 year old lecture TAs was very clear about his graduating that semester. We even had one day of class cancelled (we were told about this the prior session) because it was right after his defense, and it didn’t matter whether he passed or failed, he wasn’t going to be up for teaching that day. (He passed, which is generally what happens when you get your thesis defense. Apparently, failing a thesis defense is generally seen as a failure of ones advisor, as they’re supposed to not let you schedule it until you’re ready.)
I….I’m Leslie’s age dear god
I don’t see anything unlikely about a 26 year old teaching what seems to be a 1 credit elective filler course.
BS/A at 23 or 24.
2 year Masters program, 25 or 26
Now a new PhD student, teaching a filler course.
It’s not a filler elective. It’s an intro course for the gender studies major. Some take it as an elective or an English credit, but it’s also an intro to a major. Roz majors in Gender Studies.
26 is still 8 years older than Becky.
I’m ten years older than my siblings and I’m kind of a mini-mom. If Leslie is 26, that’s probably a very similar situation. Older siblings step into that role a lot, especially when the actual parents are not good parents.
Yeah this. I ended up being more parent than older sibling to my youngest siblings. Unsure if due to age difference or the fact that my parents weren’t great.
I’m 8 years older than my little sister and also kinda a third parent to her. That thing where I occasionally changed her nappies, looked after her independently since she was in a pushchair still, and had a lot more agency and independence than her, more life experiences and knowledge, etc.
Now that she’s in her mid 20s occasionally I turn to her for emotional support/advice about things I know she knows about but it was only a few years ago she was telling me how she felt bad because I support her but not so much the other way around. I have been consciously working on not thinking of her as a young teen though, and recognising that she is an adult with agency.
I may be biased because my wife is 8 years older than me.
I get that, but dating is a very different relationship from having a pseudo-sibling/pseudo-mom who’s 8 years older, like Leslie.
Presumably you met when you were both adults, and she doesn’t need to do mental adjustments to remind herself that you are actually an adult, though? Coz when I was 18, I was 18: an adult. When my sister was 18, she may have been technically an adult, but in my head she was more like 13, at the oldest, possibly 15. (This is despite her being ludicrously intelligent.)
At 18, most people are still dependent on their parents financially. Here (the UK), most students need parents to cosign their lease agreements and act as their guarantors, for instance, when they go to university. They may or may not be able to cook, budget, know how to drink responsibly (Becky can’t drink legally yet). They probably haven’t had a full-time job, or if they have done it will probably have been a holiday job.
At 26, Leslie has been homeless, possibly both married and divorced, has finished her education and has a career… She’s independent and has enough life experience that she should generally feel reasonably in control of her own life. She is only answerable to others to the extent that she chooses to be.
There is a big imbalance in the power and agency they both have over their own lives.
I’m not saying that they should date (gross) but I’m saying that 8 years means that Leslie is not and should not try to be a mom figure. Because she isn’t that more mature.
I meant more “siblings with an age gap can have a parents-type relationship, and they are at different enough stages in life that their adopted sibling relationship may mimic that (even though two consenting adults with an 8 year age gap who meet when they’re a bit older and have less of a gulf in terms of agency, confidence and life experiences can have an equal, loving relationship without any power imbalances arising from the age gap).” Sorry – was very tired and don’t think I said that clearly.
I’m not sure about that. Becky’s early interactions with Leslie seemed very much in a daughter mode rather than a sister one. That could have changed, of course.
“. . . did you just call me a ‘cat lady’?”
I mean at this point, I think shock and reservation is kinda a normal reaction.
Thank you Leslie, you are everything I want in this moment for Becky.
Is Becky 18 yet?
Legal emancipation can be imposed earlier than that. But Becky probably is given she was at college before she “moved out”.
I was going to say “most likely”, but then I remembered she was homeschooled. Hold on… Indiana has easy homeschooling, and schooling to 18 by default. Since she’s Joyce’s peer, they’re probably the same age.
Depending on when her birthday falls, she could be on the older side of her grade because she had to wait a year to start schooling. (In my state, August was the cutoff.)
Yes. When she ran away the first time, she said ‘I’m 18, my dad can go screw’.
Aw, Little Sister(I mean Becky and not Joyce), I think you have cPTSD as well as PTSD. That ability to compartmentalize and keep moving has served you well. But little sister the compound interest when that bill comes due is going knock you over somewhere around 30 if you just keep throwing stuff on the pile.
Yup. That’s how I became abusive.
I hope you’ve gotten the proper help to try to overcome that. I’m proud of you for realizing it.
Little sister you say?
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/shera-and-the-princesses-of-power/images/6/6d/She-Ra_S5_Catra_Under_HP%27s_Control.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20200516011126
TOO SOON
Turning 29 in 3 days and BIG OOF this comment is too real
I made it to age 34 before the bill showed up. Long enough to build a substantial life that I could then accidentally completely fuck up by coming out.
I mean Ross was kind of just as bad as Blaine so I’m not missing him and I don’t blame Becky for not feeling too bad about it.
This is exactly how I reacted to my mom dying for very similar reasons.
The meltdown didn’t come for another 10 years.
I remember trying to calculate the speed that my mom hit the ground on the way to her funeral. No later meltdown either, she was a very mentally ill woman by the time of her death.
After ten years you say? *looks at calendar* Woo, still got another couple of years!
No disrespect intended, but the phrase “trying to calculate the speed (she) hit the ground” makes me start to imagine a whole bunch of really weird ways your mother may have met her end.
Well there are a number of ways that can happen, my mother died from brain damage when she fell from breaking her hip. She had no visible head injuries so the working hypothesis is she died from her brain sloshing around inside her skull when her shoulder hit the floor. YMMV
It was from jumping out of a 15 story window, nothing particularly exotic.
Oof. I’m sorry she reached that point and either wasn’t helped or couldn’t accept it for whatever reason.
I’m kinda right there with my dad too, even though he hasn’t passed yet (he’s at the palliative care stage).
How old is Becky? Does she need a legal guardian? Wait she’s gotta be over 18 I’ve answered my own question
Legally requiring a guardian and needing/wanting a mom are separate issues
Becky can adopt as many moms as she wants when she’s ready
Leslie tried to mom Becky. The result was Becky actively moving out and making a deal with Not Sarah Palin in order to achieve independence.
There may be some differing expectations on what one thinks the other needs.
Robin offered an education and an actual bed, in exchange for work which didn’t make Becky feel like a moocher. I don’t remember Becky having a problem with being mommed
Becky can be a little mommed, as a treat, but she also has Adult Shit to Deal With to get her life together, and she’s full-bore into the high of initial independence. Reclaiming her life is sort of how she is coping with how awful her life is. Doesn’t mean she isn’t traumatized, it’s just a way some people deal.
Becky is all about her new and exciting life. She’s very much an extrovert post-escape from Homophobialand.
Leslie seems to have just managed to survive hers so she’s a lot more cautious and withdrawn.
Just alittle clash of personalities.
She explicitly worried about overstaying her welcome with Leslie right before she met Robin, not about her independence.
Even the “fight” they had afterwards was a mother/daughter bit.
I don’t think Robin can rap like Sarah Palin
Leslie SHOULD be squeeing over meeting Becky’s adorable girlfriend but NOOOO she has to deal with drama and bad times because dads ruin everything
…huh, this is the first time Dina and Leslie have encountered each other. Took only about ten years, I suppose.
Wha? No, Dina and Leslie have met before.
Right??
Huh, I guess not.
Now I’m wondering which other significant characters have never happened to encounter each other yet.
Pretty sure Carla and Joe have never met.
Checking the tags, they’re in the same panel in this strip (and only this one so far, though they’re tagged together in at least one more strip): https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/hobble/
Also, when Joe’s “Do List” went public, Carla chose to remain ignorant of its specific contents, mentioning how she didn’t know whether she’d be more pissed to find herself on the List, or not on it.
Dina is taking notes on human social interactions.
I’m glad Becky’s got Leslie, and a lot of friends. Found families can be quite something.
I wonder a bit if Becky is going to break down later as she digests this, of if she’s already cried all her tears. Ross was never the dad he ought to have been, but I wonder if there were ever good times, or if he was always lost to her.
If Beck’s mom killed herself, something tells me Ross was lost to her a long time ago.
Becky sure needed that hug.
I’m sure she’ll miss her toedad, even if he was a pain in the foot.
I’m pretty sure it’ll come out with whatever Carol says to her.
Becky, in her heart Leslie adopted you long ago.
*cries*
That’s definitely want Leslie wants to do. I think she would like to fill the hole left by her family’s gross betrayal.
Poor Leslie needs her own found family.
Finally, she’ll become her TRUE mom
I think Becky wants Leslie to acknowledge her as a fully grown adult who has made it on her own.
Leslie wants to protect her from all the horrible things she experienced and make up for her family’s betrayal.
I don’t actually know the status of Miss Sakaki so I’m also not sure how prescient that alt text is
An Azumanga Daioh reference? Bravo.
All I can say is that Kaorin being canon bi made me so happy. Hope she finally made her feelings known to Sakaki and that Sakaki reciprocated.
Its kind of scary how similar Yukari is to Robin Desanto.
It’s Willis’s Azumanga reference – Miss Sakaki is the name of the Willises’ cat.
OH.
I think I knew that, but I didn’t connect it with the comment. Ah.
I don’t think there’s been any new pictures of her on Twitter recently, but I also don’t remember seeing a note saying she’s not fine…
Damn you, Willis, we’d better get some new calico kitty pictures pronto, or else we’ll be sad!
Seriously man, the alt text has me worried.
Don’t worry, I’m from the future!
As of June 30th, Willis posted a new picture of her on Twitter!
https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/1278026916210135040
Panel 1. Preparation for Becky-hugs. Good.
Panel 2. Becky-hugs achieved! Finally!
Panel 3. More Becky-hugs. as should be.
Panel 4: Wait, why do you stop hugging Becky?
Panel 5: THERE SHOULD BE MORE BECKY-HUGS!!!!!!
I’m not going to ask you to adopt me or anything… in at least ten minutes.
Eh, I’m not too worried if this is how Becky is day of, immediately after it happens. Like, I REALLY hope she goes to therapy but like, I believe this is within the realm of healthy responses day of.
I suspect that Becky hasn’t felt much affection for her father in a long time, so she won’t have much grief to deal with. Shock, yes, and grief that her father was a total Toedad, and not a good supportive father, but sorrow for the person himself, nope.
Land, I hope she gets herself some therapy. She probably needs it just from growing up in that household, and then her mother’s death. You know Ross never got her any help. At most, the church gave her Jesus platitudes.
Becky is a remarkably strong young woman. She’s needed to be.
Also, “kinda resolved” and “kinda dead.” LOL!
Her father died when he refused her last offer of redemption.
I bet it’s going to sink in while she deals with his estate, especially if she has to handle paperwork like her mother’s death certificate in the process.
Of all of Becky’s gutterings of the English language, ‘It’d resolved’ is one I can’t parse.
It had resolved. It’s… a weird one, I’ll give you that.
Nonstandard contraction of “it had”.
“I told you, it had resolved”
To me, becky talks like an Arkansan. Lots of weird contractions. I’m sure it’s not only an Arkansan thing, that’s just where I heard a lot of those.
I’m an Arkansan, and it’s certainly how I talk!
I got the meaning after I read it again, it just doesn’t read as well over text. Like, with “stuff’d” my brain tries to read it phonetically and comes up with “stuffed’, which is a different meaning.
I’m trying to think of how one would pronounced “it’d” and I keep coming up with something that sounds like “idiot”.
it’s pronounced like it-id
same with stuff’d, it’s pronounced like stuff-id
It rhymes with “shitted”.
Aw hell, that ain’t nothin’.
If I wrote down phonetically half the shit we say in Southern Illinois, you’d need an old priest and a young priest to expunge that evil from your retinas.
[Laughs in Rhode Island]
You keep that witchcraft on your coast, sailor.
Try Pennsylvania. “Yinz”, “Y’all”, and “Youse guys” are all ways of saying “Crowd of people I am addressing”.
Don’t even get me started on Pittsburgh . . . *shudders in proper English*
Da boatayuhs ain’t got nothin’ on how we butcha words up heah. It’s like Bostonian and New Yorker got drunk and started babbling, then somebody else wrote it all down phonetically. We even have our own dictionary, illustrated by Don Bousquet (Rhode Island’s version of Gary Larson).
Tell me what a cabinet is, or a draw, a grinda, or steamas. Neva mind how they talk all backwards in Woonsocket, or the Creanston nasal whine.
I understand
That is a good start on mission: HUGS FOR BECKY
keep it up
NOT ENOUGH HUGS!!!
MOAR HUGS!!!
That’s why I get a new cat before the old one croaks.
Good planning!
That’s how we’re up to nineteen cats now
Everyone copes differently, Leslie. When my brother died, I went to see the Phantom Menace 3 times in theaters.
One after the other no less.
Honestly that seems a far healthier reaction than most would have.
Jesus Christ
Basically, I just wanted to turn my brain off for about nine hours.
Also, Becky, some people definitely get a cat within or month or so of their old one dying.
I’m getting big “Ethan Listening To Fortress Ominous’s Rambles” vibes from Leslie’s face in the last panel.
I’ve felt relieved when someone died and then felt guilty for it. and since I have abusive relatives left, I’ll feel it again eventually.
HUGS FOR BECKY
I stand by Leslie adopting Faz, no idea how that would work, but if anyone needs a gender studies teacher it’s that kid.
I forsee Faz becoming an Artemis Fowl-esque child crimelord.
Yes please.
I’m very sad that I’m very bad at drawing because I wanna see fanart of Faz Fowl the Third.
Would that make the man they just captured Lord Fowl’s Blaine?
*that gif of the guy who looks like Higgins from Magnum PI, in a theater, clapping*
And Galasso.
Crap I forgot about him. He already has a mom.
Still, if Leslie needs to conduct some study with participants, Faz could join.
Galasso is Faz’s mom? Or did I lose the thread of the conversation?
I replied to Some1, talking about Faz.
And now I’m imagining what Galasso’s mom would look like.
FOOLS! Something like that, i think.
He (Faz) needs a caring parent in his life, as well.
“Dad’s kinda dead.”
“What?”
“Kinda-sorta.”
“He’s only MOSTLY dead.”
Becky: But that’s not what’s important!
Leslie: It’s not?
Becky: JOYCE DREW DONGS!
Yes yes YES . Focusing on the identity of the WhiteBoard Ding-dong Bandit would be VERY Becky. You put a huge smile on my face, thank you!
Becky will focus on that, but not until Joyce is around to appreciate it.
ym “be trolled”.
We won’t know until we open the box.
He’s dead, Jim.
He’s pinin’ for the fjords.
Joined the choir invisible.
I meant to ask this yesterday, so please indulge me for being a day late.
Where is Amber (and Blaine) from? Are they actually Bloomington natives?
Because if they’re not, it would make more sense that Blaine would have corrupted a couple of cops in his hometown, since that’s his base of operations, rather than in Bloomington.
They are from the Indianapolis area IIRC. Walky, Sal, Billie, Marcie, and Asher are from the Evansville area.
Joe’s from Mishawaka, and we can presume Danny (his childhood best friend) and Dorothy (Danny’s high school girlfriend) are as well.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/jango/
Blaine’s not the one corrupting them so much as he’s on the same payroll. Since the money laundering goes through a fake carpentry business I wouldn’t be surprised if he travels a lot in the area to look like they have legitimate jobs. (And he’s gotta be at least fairly well-connected, for the boss’s grandson to know who he is on sight.)
Becky worries me a lot with her Deadpool attitude of reacting to stuff through black humor that would taste awful.. I have heard that it’s a healthy reaction, but I am more of the “grief and scream” mentality when bad things happen.
Anyway, have a good day and be safe out there, folks.
Just to clarify, Ross was a horrible person that doesn’t deserve any tear, but being so chill during such a dreadful day seems unnatural to me.
I think Becky actually said her goodbyes to Ross in the hospital room.
As Luke Skywalker said, “Then my father is truly dead.”
It *can* be a healthy-ish coping mechanism, but Becky’s using it to mask and/or avoid her feelings rather than simply to evade awkwardness in expressing/discussing said feelings. That isn’t itself entirely bad, but she’ll need to stop and actually let herself feel shit. Not necessarily all at once, but she can only bottle up so much at once before it starts to ferment into something worse
^ this
The truth is, Leslie, that I think that Ross died some time ago for Becky. That doesn’t mean that she’s not going to feel sad, it’s just that the bond was already severed.
This is gonna hit Becky like a freight truck when she’s alone.
Nobody likes a bummer, right?
don’t want to be a Debbie Downer
This. She’s been the aloof goof her whole life around other people. Tonight, when she’s alone (or possibly with someone very close like Dina or Joyce), it’s going to all come out. Typical response to abuse/depression.
It may not even be that soon. I’ve known people for whom the sense of loss/grieving doesn’t kick in till waaaaay later. Like, they’ll be completely numb and stoic at the funeral, and for weeks/months afterwards, and then one day they’ll just see/do something that reminds them of the deceased and THEN it all comes out.
And of course, you also have the people who absolutely LOATHED their parents because they were distant/abusive, and they would literally go and dance on the dead person’s grave if they could. My uncle was one of those. He did not get along with my grandfather, at ALL. Out of respect for his privacy, I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that he flatly refused to attend my grandfather’s funeral and I can’t say that I blame him.
ngl, when my parents finally kick the bucket (Mom, especially), I’m not gonna be torn up about it.
Yup.
Kinda
DoA Book 10: It Doesn’t Worry Me About Your Current Mental State At All
So… apart from all other indignities in Leslie’s life she still follows Robin’s twitter to see how Becky is doing. Fuuuuuuun times.
Leslie is the sort of personality who would obsessively follow Robin’s Twitter hoping to see a semi-coherent: “Leeesssllliiieee! Come baaack!” Tweet so she can go running over there and get back onto the really unhealthy aspect of her feelings for the Honourable Congressperson.
No, you are wrong. Leslie would not get into an unheatlhy relationship.
…is what I wished I could say rather than, “yes.”
Yuuuup. Poor Leslie still hasn’t overcome her doormat tendencies. See also: her relationship with Anna.
Maybe. She hasn’t shown signs of wanting to reconnect with Robin. She’s got her own new unhealthy relationship, which might be distracting her.
Leslie♡ You are a beautiful mom♡♡♡. Becky will collapse at the night. Maybe that will be the time for Robin to cheer up her as a mother?
My guess is that Becky is so “blunt and irreverent” because she is still a little bit in mental shock so all those emotions are still bottled up right now
My take here is that she’d been grieving him for a while now already; him being actually body dead doesn’t really change their relationship much.
Leslie: Everything’s fine! It’s fine! It’s FINE. I’m fine. You’re fine. Everything’s FINE, it’s FINE, IT’S FINE
I kind of understand Becky’s attitude. Her dad’s been dead to her for a while already.