Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Wr alwys

by David M Willis on June 25, 2020 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Is a Song Forever?
└ Tags: amazi-girl, amber, mike

Discussion (165) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 25, 2020 at 12:01 am | #

    bust freds

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      June 25, 2020 at 1:23 am | #

      I was about to make a job about having some “bust Freds” in my day… but I have never actually had sexual contact with anyone named Fred.

      Unfortunate that my past lovers failed to step up and have the correct names to land a joke on the internet.

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        June 25, 2020 at 6:36 am | #

        The bastards.

        • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
          anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
          June 25, 2020 at 7:37 am | #

          Progeny of an unwed canine.

        • Chris
          Chris
          June 25, 2020 at 3:53 pm | #

          Th bst rds.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      June 25, 2020 at 11:25 am | #

      “Busted Freds”, a Right Said Fred cover band.

  2. King Daniel
    King Daniel
    June 25, 2020 at 12:02 am | #

    boop

    boop

    boop

    booooooooooooooooo

    • Lumino
      Lumino
      June 25, 2020 at 12:51 am | #

      Don’t you fucking dare.

      • Rose by Any Other Name
        Rose by Any Other Name
        June 25, 2020 at 1:24 am | #

        Having spent more time than I care to in hospitals with people on boop boop machines, I can say that Hollywood has lied to you – 95% of the time, when the machine goes “booooooo” it’s because something came unstuck or slipped out of place or some other entirely mundane reason.

        • Miri
          Miri
          June 25, 2020 at 6:00 am | #

          If it’s a foetal heart one, if that happens too much and they’re worried during labour, they safety pin one to the baby’s scalp.

          • elsendor
            elsendor
            June 25, 2020 at 7:33 am | #

            they WHAT

          • Strangeshapes
            Strangeshapes
            June 25, 2020 at 8:14 am | #

            This is true and I was horrified when I saw it on my new son.

            • Miri
              Miri
              June 25, 2020 at 12:29 pm | #

              They did ask before doing it to my daughter. And before redoing it coz the first one came off… And the bit where we were in back to back labour and she had the cord around her neck, and they needed to use salad tongs* to get her out was probably more traumatic for her, all things considered? And the massive bruise from said tongs over her face was a lot more obvious… She was still the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. (My oldest. Middle one slithered out on the picotin drip, youngest tried to come out elbow first and was an extended emergency C section, around the time we were entering lockdown.)

              *Not actual salad tongs 😉

              • elebenty
                elebenty
                June 25, 2020 at 5:43 pm | #

                Can confirm! Teh Heir and Littlol both had them.
                Teh Heir will be 30 and still has a tiny scar where no hair grows.

              • Kitty Adams
                Kitty Adams
                June 25, 2020 at 5:45 pm | #

                Congrats on the new little!

                My first was an emergency c-section at a Children’s Hospital, then taken immediately to her own little OR next door to be intubated. Poor thing went through so much. (She’s fine now.) I just had baby #2 this January. Easy as pie, I had no idea things could NOT be traumatic!

                • Miri
                  Miri
                  June 25, 2020 at 10:13 pm | #

                  Congratulations on your one too 😀

                  I have to say that the hospital did an amazing job. It was only after we were home with my first that I really grasped that they weren’t just erring on the side of caution, and that she had been really distressed.

                  My husband had me laughing during my C section – he did a fab job of keeping me calm. Again, the midwife and doctors were amazing. Number 3 spent most of his first day in a high dependency ward – he breathed in some merconium – but he did really well. In fact, he did so well that when somebody reviewed his charts they decided that he could stop the IV antibiotics and removed the cannulas. Unfortunately they forgot to check his X-ray… So I got to spend at least 45 minutes on (British) Mother’s Day watching them try to re-cannulate my three day old baby so he could complete the course (eventually they gave up and prescribed oral antibiotics). THAT was pretty traumatic – my tiny baby shrieking frantically with pain and terror… (Midwife confirmed, when we were back up on the ward and I was sobbing about this, that it’s horrible enough when it isn’t your baby.)

        • James Rye
          James Rye
          June 25, 2020 at 8:40 am | #

          You just spoiled the joke for the next strip.

    • Portland
      Portland
      June 25, 2020 at 10:54 am | #

      Doctor: I don’t understand, I’ve never seen the boop boop machine do this!
      Technician or something idk: What do you mean?
      Mike’s heart machine: boob boob booooooooob butt

      • DSL
        DSL
        June 25, 2020 at 11:35 am | #

        Mike’s machine lights up with a red sign that says: “Insert another nickel.”

  3. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 25, 2020 at 12:03 am | #

    Mem’ry
    All alone in the moonlight
    I can smile at the old days
    Life was beautiful then
    I remember
    The time I knew what happiness was
    Let the Mem’ry live again

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      June 25, 2020 at 12:50 am | #

      *joins in*

      Probably the best individual song in Webber’s history with the stage I feel (Music of the Night is the only one that comes close, though it is also way more dependent on who is singing it). Much as i love Betty Buckley’s rendition, I have multiple recordings, on CDs bought decades ago now, that I also dearly love including, funny enough, both Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford.

      • CJ
        CJ
        June 25, 2020 at 4:11 am | #

        Though that is a great song, Webber wrote so many great musicals i cannot decide which of his songs I like best. His early works were more tongue in cheek.

      • Ed Rhodes
        Ed Rhodes
        June 25, 2020 at 4:20 am | #

        I have heard that song for years. There’s a video of the stage production. When Betty sang that song, and I finally heard it in context, I cried.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 25, 2020 at 6:15 am | #

          Ah yes, the only video release of Cats.

          They should do a fully animated, Dreamworks/Pixar-esque version. Don’t try to CG live actors in suits, that’s just weird. It will just come out like an even more unsettling Cat in the Hat (the live action one with Mike Myers).

          • Rectilinear Propagation
            Rectilinear Propagation
            June 25, 2020 at 1:54 pm | #

            The concept art looks really good; too bad the studio folded: https://catsmusical.fandom.com/wiki/Animated_Film

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              June 26, 2020 at 5:54 pm | #

              Kinda Tim Burton, and apparently T. S. Eliot didn’t want his story to be adapted into a bright, colorful cartoon…

              That would work!

  4. TlalocW
    TlalocW
    June 25, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    … an had yur mum… fr nickel…

    beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

  5. Newllend(henryvolt)
    Newllend(henryvolt)
    June 25, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    You know the head injury must be bad if he’s talking crazy like this.

    • Strangeshapes
      Strangeshapes
      June 25, 2020 at 8:17 am | #

      This makes so much more sense! Head injury Mike=Drunk Mike in niceness. Mike is like a reverse Phineas Gage.

  6. Reaver
    Reaver
    June 25, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    NO LAST WORDS, NO DYING ALLOWED

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 25, 2020 at 7:29 am | #

      Can’t die if you don’t say last words.

      [Roll Safe guy tapping on his head meme]

      • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        June 25, 2020 at 7:40 am | #

        [Tries and failed at finding the one where he is holding his head in his lap while doing so]

        [It’s a Monty Python thing]

      • Rectilinear Propagation
        Rectilinear Propagation
        June 25, 2020 at 1:57 pm | #

        The only Safe Guy I know is the enemy in Evil Within.

        But he does bang on his head and even respawns when killed so…it still works? Kinda?

  7. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 25, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m with AG. No last words! No last words that are going to fuck with them forever!… I know that would be fitting, but you are making at least ONE earnest attempt to be less of an asshole, don’t ruin it with years of guilt on top of the trauma pile!

    • Roger Sterling
      Roger Sterling
      June 25, 2020 at 12:25 am | #

      If there is one moment where I’d expect to be free of having to cradle my vigilante cape friend’s tattered psyche, it would be on my death bed, after having fought in her war.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 25, 2020 at 1:25 am | #

        Nice typo on the username there, me. There’s a comment awaiting moderation now, but to restate: Mike has admitted to consciously fucking with Amber (the stairway fight, and given his realization afterwards I do think he was sincere when he said that one) and made comments that have definitely made it worse (in the aftermath of the dorm fight on Freshman Family Weekend, ‘if you’re doomed to repeat your parents’ pattern but never pick jerks, which of them does that make you?’ Even if there WAS a benign intention there, the phrasing played straight into Amber’s self-doubt and made the Amber Bad/AG Good dichotomy really ramp up. Given he admitted to fucking with her intentionally, I feel safe saying he DIDN’T mean it purely benignly and missed the mark.)

        I feel like, after you’ve spent years knowingly making someone’s mental state worse for kicks, you do in fact owe them some consideration in a positive way for once! He’s not in a good state to do it but I can still call it a dick move on the part of this fictional character because it would still be playing into his pattern of cruelty and occasional acknowledgement of friendship so they stay on the hook.

        (I can cite Mike admitting to that one too, but since it was just last storyline I’m going to single out the oldest and most coloring-my-opinion-of-Mike comic.)

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/ensnared/

        • Strangeshapes
          Strangeshapes
          June 25, 2020 at 8:39 am | #

          But see, I don’t think Mike is a “pure” a$$hole, much as he may try to be or as he alt-timeline could have been. This Mike is still a teenager, and there has been decent evidence that he has had well-buried romantic-ish feelings for each/both of his best friends over time which could lead to him feeling hurt/jealous/waadyameanofcourseIdontreallylikeyou! (Think of how he reacted after he and Ethan had sex and Ethan was super casual about it.) I think the comment you mentioned during parents’ weekend was at least in part a subconscious jealousy towards Danny. That doesn’t make it less jerky, but perhaps more typical teenagery.

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            June 25, 2020 at 9:51 am | #

            Sure. He’s still admitted he was ‘poking Amber’s bear for years,’ in part, because he wants her upset. (‘She’s multiple time bombs. Just wind her up and point her Dadwards.’)

            Once you have that as your motive even a LITTLE, I judge. And I suspect that’s part of your motive in ANY interaction like that. So, again: he REALLY owes Amber some positive consideration for her mental wellbeing.

            https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/02-to-remind-you-of-my-love/zeal/

    • Sombrero
      Sombrero
      June 25, 2020 at 3:06 pm | #

      Being Mike you cannot really be sure topping the trauma pile is not among his intentions.

  8. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 25, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    Yr Mm…
    Nkl…

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 25, 2020 at 2:37 am | #

      “Good, you are yourself again”

  9. Chris
    Chris
    June 25, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    Amazing. His attempted last words weren’t about his listener’s mother.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      June 25, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

      His first attempt was.

  10. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    June 25, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    When your friend’s dying but he’s calling you his friend, but he was an asshole, but also tried defending you, but also could be shitty, but it was clear his disillusionment with the injustices in the world were taking a strong mental toll on him.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      June 25, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

      Now I’m falling asleep, and she’s calling a cab, and he’s having a smoke, and she’s taking a drag

      • vlademir1
        vlademir1
        June 25, 2020 at 12:53 am | #

        But I still wanna know why he was wearing her dress? ;D

      • Hazel
        Hazel
        June 25, 2020 at 2:21 am | #

        THANK you god BLESS

      • Anon A Mouse
        Anon A Mouse
        June 25, 2020 at 7:03 am | #

        He said she was “taking a drag” he didn’t say where to.

    • Jay
      Jay
      June 25, 2020 at 2:58 am | #

      I think overall Mike was a good person, he was just a good person who REALLY enjoyed fucking with people. When push comes to shove he always did the right thing

    • Jake'm
      Jake'm
      June 25, 2020 at 7:30 am | #

      yaaaay feelings are complicated

  11. DEAD MEME
    DEAD MEME
    June 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    Alexa, play “The Death of Optimus Prime”.

    • CJ
      CJ
      June 25, 2020 at 4:13 am | #

      Alexa, Play Could we start again, please?

  12. Hex Hornet
    Hex Hornet
    June 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    SUCH PATHOS!!

  13. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    June 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    The Importance Of Being Earnest

    • Meagan
      Meagan
      June 25, 2020 at 1:48 am | #

      A+

  14. Hazel
    Hazel
    June 25, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    Seeing trash lad in pain is surprisingly bad

    • Hazel
      Hazel
      June 25, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      Get better trash lad

    • goggleman64
      goggleman64
      June 25, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

      I’m pullin’ for you trash lad

  15. Moon
    Moon
    June 25, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    wait guys is he dying

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      June 25, 2020 at 12:33 am | #

      Is a song forever?

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      June 25, 2020 at 7:22 am | #

      Of course he is. He’s alive.

      • JBento
        JBento
        June 25, 2020 at 10:12 am | #

        WHY DOESN’T THIS COMMENT SYSTEM HAVE A WAY TO UPVOTE?!

        • JessWitt
          JessWitt
          June 25, 2020 at 11:31 am | #

          +1

  16. BBCC
    BBCC
    June 25, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

    Mike, goddammit, you are not allowed to pull redemption equals death.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      June 25, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      Mike would be an asshole and do that, it’s all the reward of redemption, with half the effort.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 25, 2020 at 1:27 am | #

        Seriously. Most asshole way to do something half decent for once in his life.

    • Badgermole
      Badgermole
      June 25, 2020 at 12:16 am | #

      For one thing, it would be a terrible way to ‘resolve’ the narrative problem of Mike. I expect better of Willis.

      • Meagan
        Meagan
        June 25, 2020 at 1:49 am | #

        This is why I trust that he will not die.

      • Zee
        Zee
        June 25, 2020 at 11:43 am | #

        What I been saying since January. Willis is too good a writer to kill off Mike at the very start of his redemption arc

  17. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    June 25, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

    I really hope Mike pulls through and isn’t permanently affected by this. Besides the obvious effects of not jumping off any more buildings and any mental trauma associated with almost dying.

    Willis wouldn’t kill 2 characters in such a short time, right?

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      June 25, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

      I think it’s going to change him quite a bit.

      Like, he won’t stop being an asshole, but he’s not going to be mean for the hell of it either.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        June 25, 2020 at 12:25 am | #

        They say who you are drunk is who you are with all the masks torn off. Remember in SP! Drunk Mike was the Nice Mike. Some parts of the SP! and IW! characters from the Walkyverse stayed the same in the Dumbiverse and it seems that Mike is also playing a character all the time in the Dumbiverse.

      • Axel
        Axel
        June 25, 2020 at 12:32 am | #

        unless he gets double mean and uses ‘I almost died saving my friend’ to make anyone who calls him mean feel like the asshole

    • Axel
      Axel
      June 25, 2020 at 12:20 am | #

      it would be especially cruel to us readers, in that he said he was breaking some of his rules, and we all got to go, “phew, it was just ross that died”

      and then we’d have mike’s death sneak up on us

  18. Hazel
    Hazel
    June 25, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    *sees panel three* *sees panel five* More blood is a good sign, right? 😬

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      June 25, 2020 at 12:40 am | #

      It means his heart is still beating. That’s the way being dead eventually saved my life with the giant hole blown in my lower leg from the wreck. With no pulse pushing blood out of the massive hole in my leg from where the truck hit me that meant I still had most of it still inside when they scraped me off the street and didn’t start really bleeding again until I was in the ambulance with the EMT there to control the bleeding.

      So more blood on the outside of the head means he’s Not Dead Yet, and also that’s less intracranial bleeding because there is an escape for the blood to not put pressure on his brain.

    • Zee
      Zee
      June 25, 2020 at 11:47 am | #

      Head wounds are known to bleed dramatically, you’ll bleed a gallon from scratching your forehead

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        June 25, 2020 at 10:13 pm | #

        I can vouch for that.  Had a crash on my bike and my glasses gouged me on the side of my head.  Just a bad scratch that didn’t even require stitches, but from the amount of blood you’d have thought someone had tried to brain me with an axe.

  19. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    June 25, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    Well this confirms he’s gonna live. Mike’s last words are gonna be something implying sexual intercourse with someone’s mother.

    • Nyzer
      Nyzer
      June 25, 2020 at 12:24 am | #

      Don’t be so sure. I would absolutely expect Mike to have a last will that distributes all the audio recordings of the various mother sexes he’s had.

      “And for you, Amber O’Malley, he left enough insurance money to make sure your flash drive got an extra 2 GB of space, but it turns out in the months since his last visit he ended up going over his expected space so we just made sure to pick out the boring parts to get the rest to fit.”

  20. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    June 25, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    Come on, Mike. You can beat this.

    • bryy
      bryy
      June 25, 2020 at 1:00 am | #

      I’ve always disliked phrases like this for issues with your body that you literally cannot control.

  21. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    June 25, 2020 at 12:14 am | #

    Mike gets to the Pearly Gates and gets the “You weren’t good enough for Heaven, but you weren’t bad enough for Hell, so we are sending you back for a while” speech.

  22. Jo Giggles
    Jo Giggles
    June 25, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

    Curse you Willis, I literally just cried. I’ve been waiting like 15 years for make to say something so loving to Amber and it had to under such gut wrenching circumstances. Guuuuuh. :'(

    • Jo Giggles
      Jo Giggles
      June 25, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

      Mike*

      • Chronos
        Chronos
        June 25, 2020 at 4:28 am | #

        Mike will say whatever you don’t want to hear at that moment, even if it’s true.

        • HMH
          HMH
          June 25, 2020 at 4:52 am | #

          Especially if it’s true.

  23. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    June 25, 2020 at 12:20 am | #

    Sometimes Mike hurts you by not giving you the fight you want.

  24. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 25, 2020 at 12:22 am | #

    There is something really… pathetic – and I try to say that as non-condesending I can – in that the only people Mike counts as friends are the misfits from highschool that keep tolerating him.

    I have found him uninteresting for the longest time, but I think the self destructive elements of his nihilism are really starting to make him an interesting paralell to amazi-girl.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      June 25, 2020 at 1:33 am | #

      Yeah, I am way more interested in a Mike that lives, keeps the realization he had that he was way too much like Blaine and he’s not comfortable with that, and starts actually grappling with the ways his edgelordiness have made his life worse along with everyone else around him. ‘Asshole Sage’ Mike is irritating even when he’s not being pointlessly mean with NO possible spin.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 25, 2020 at 1:48 am | #

        Yeah… I have a bit of a problem with that.

        Is it possible that he didn’t already know that? That being a mean-spirited jerk makes things worse?

        I always read it as some sort of dare to the universe and the people around him. “Yeah, that’s right. I’m a jerk. What are you gonna do about it?” and an endless dissapointment when no one does anything about it. The problem is of course that haven proven that point …then what?

        • Rabid Rabbit
          Rabid Rabbit
          June 25, 2020 at 5:25 am | #

          Interesting. I hadn’t thought about it this way before, but it adds a fascinating take to that time he pointed out that he gets away with things because he’s a white male. The fact he recognizes that means that he recognizes the inherent injustice there, but instead of joining a BLM march, he pushes as if he wants to see how far he can get on that, and hates the fact no one ever stops him. (Bearing in mind that he’s a masochist, it’s a fair assumption that he’d like to be stopped.)

          Of course, the one time he did do the equivalent of joining a BLM march, when he pointed out to the teacher that she didn’t believe Amber because she’s a girl, he got physically thrown out of a room, which may have had some impact on why he doesn’t make his point openly anymore.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            June 25, 2020 at 6:05 am | #

            Yeah, that’s a bit like my take on him.

            He sees the wrongs, but the one time he tried to do something about it, it failed. Now he doesn’t know what to do. It doesn’t help that he by nature and choice is a jerk that needlessly antagonizes people.

            There are some paralells to Sal – who also tried and failed – and amazi-girl – who also tries to combine righting wrong and working through her own baggage in a not always perfect manner.

            • Elisto
              Elisto
              June 25, 2020 at 6:24 am | #

              Yeah, basically I agree, I’ve said something like this before: I don’t think he actually *enjoys* hurting people, rather, he reads very much like someone who actually feels quite a bit of empathy for people, enough that it’s painful for him but acts like a jerk because he doesn’t know how else to deal with that feeling. Kind of like yelling at others, “stop being an idiot, it’s hurting me too!” His realization with Blaine was that whatever his intent/motivation, his behavior has been not very different from someone who actually *doesn’t* care.

        • JBento
          JBento
          June 25, 2020 at 10:10 am | #

          It’s the Tump MO, except Mike is hoping he DOESN’T get away with it.

          He probably spends a lot of time thinking “For fuck’s sake you morons, why aren’t you doing anything to stop me?”

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          June 25, 2020 at 10:23 am | #

          I think he did realize it on at least some level, because yeah, he’s self-aware that he gets off easier with his shit by virtue of being a white guy. I think the direct realization was less that he’s a jerk and doesn’t particularly enjoy it, more ‘I’m a jerk who justifies himself the same way THIS GUY does,’ and that any ‘it’s for their own good’ he’d been trying falls flat as a result.

          Mostly I just want Mike to actively change his behavior more than I want another character dying. He realized it made him unhappy. I think he realized Amber and Ethan don’t actually trust him anymore not to have an ulterior, malicious motive. (At the very least, he noticed they’re pulling away.) Neither of those really sunk in before the stairway fight. If ‘I’m using the same justification as THAT abusive turd, shit’ actually caused some change and not just a single grand, dying gesture, great! But if it was that single grand gesture… well, it’s better than keeping on being a manipulative jerk, but it kind of feels less like redemption equals death and more like ‘I’ve fucked up too much to even try fixing things, may as well give my death a purpose.’ Which is DEEPLY sad. And well… how do you trust even a dying ‘best friends’ when the guy’s admitted he’d say they were friends five percent of the time to keep hope alive? I don’t want Mike fucking with Amber’s psyche anymore than he has already, not when he’s said he did so intentionally before.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 25, 2020 at 10:58 am | #

            Yeah, this pretty much sums it up. I do have to say I’m not entirely sure where Willis can go with Mike after this, without losing his essential Mikeness, but I hope he’s got something up his sleeve.

            • Regalli
              Regalli
              June 25, 2020 at 5:16 pm | #

              It’d be difficult, but we do know ways he’s weaponized his asshole for, if not totally good, at least more benefit than detriment (Walky had to scramble after the ‘HAIL SATAN’ Mike pulled, but it did effectively distract Carol from the Becky matter! I call that one a win.) So I think it’s possible, just a matter of ‘Would Willis do this and pull it off?’

              Honestly I think it’s entirely possible Mike survives, gets to have a meaningful talk with Amber and Ethan, and then leaves the strip due to lengthy convalescence.

        • Seregiel
          Seregiel
          June 25, 2020 at 7:48 pm | #

          After the encounter with Amber’s dad pushing him against the wall in school, I thought the keeping people away was his way of keeping them safe at the cost of closeness. It looks like he has no chinks to an outside observer, so he can do what he can inbetween the lines. I think he’s still awful and I don’t think that the reasoning makes him anymore complex.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 25, 2020 at 1:38 am | #

      another paralell is Billie who also entered college clinging to the memory of her glory days with no willingness to change. She was knocked down and forced to develop almost immediately (even if the self destructiveness is still there), but Mike was strong and detached enough to stay in his self-imposed “too cool to care” bubble while the rest of his peers moved on. Even finally scoring with his childhood crush did nothing to elevate his lack of motivation.

      another example would be Walky, although he was shaken out of that state with the drop of a monkey.

  25. Rikunda
    Rikunda
    June 25, 2020 at 12:23 am | #

    Did we just get a code blue? Trying to figure out the booping.

    • woobie
      woobie
      June 25, 2020 at 12:26 am | #

      Heart monitor.
      It found Mike’s.

    • Mra
      Mra
      June 25, 2020 at 12:26 am | #

      I think that is just the heart monitor, it would be a code blue if it was just one longe boooooooooooooooooooooooop

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      June 25, 2020 at 12:30 am | #

      Repeated boops are good, that indicates the peak of the EKG readout caused by the contraction of the heart muscle. When there are no more peaks the audio makes the boop continuously which is the classic drawn-out BEEEEEEEE-of the dead guy in the movie/TV show.

    • Dr. Marcus Wallaby
      Dr. Marcus Wallaby
      June 25, 2020 at 12:31 am | #

      Continued booping is generally good. Cessation of booping is bad.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 25, 2020 at 3:19 pm | #

        It usually means some idiot just accidently kicked out the power cord.

  26. Jonah Sanville
    Jonah Sanville
    June 25, 2020 at 12:38 am | #

    alt text is right i live for mike being genuine content

  27. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    June 25, 2020 at 12:55 am | #

    DAMMIT, WILLIS!

  28. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    June 25, 2020 at 1:16 am | #

    *nose boop*

    • Fogel
      Fogel
      June 25, 2020 at 10:50 am | #

      not “magical nose beepage”?

  29. DiDi
    DiDi
    June 25, 2020 at 1:31 am | #

    *HYPERVENTILATES IN ANXIETY*

  30. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    June 25, 2020 at 1:32 am | #

    GEEZ MIKE

    READ THE ROOM

  31. iain
    iain
    June 25, 2020 at 1:49 am | #

    The content I’m clamoring for is when Joyce confronts her mother

  32. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    June 25, 2020 at 1:57 am | #

    “Ur my hrro.”

    • Strangeshapes
      Strangeshapes
      June 25, 2020 at 8:51 am | #

      It’s when he follows that up with “yr … th’wind … b-b’neath …” that Amber realizes he’s fucking with her.

  33. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 25, 2020 at 2:07 am | #

    I’m genuinely surprised that those weren’t red panels.

  34. King Daniel
    King Daniel
    June 25, 2020 at 2:10 am | #

    Today’s comic strip title looks rather Welsh language-y, by the by. Wonder what this portents?

    • Arian
      Arian
      June 25, 2020 at 2:49 am | #

      You have to admire a language where W is a vowel. It goes its own way!

  35. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 25, 2020 at 2:17 am | #

    She used her dad’s own car ? Or was it Toedad’s ?

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 25, 2020 at 6:05 am | #

      That’s the same car Yuri drove to pick up Faz from outside Read Hall. It’s probably hers.

      Toedead’s green Kia Forte Koup was totaled in the rollover accident from the last time he attempted kidnapping Becky. If it’s not in a wrecking yard, it’s being held in evidence at a police impound.

  36. Hazel
    Hazel
    June 25, 2020 at 2:34 am | #

    Good thing Mike wasn’t conscious to see you not be there for him, Amber! That’d be just like the thing with the teacher before huh!

    I was genuinely expecting that parallel and this is a relief in a way but.. Amber really got “off the hook” given that Mike wouldn’t understand her absence. He could have possibly been jaded for the millionth time.

    • Hazel
      Hazel
      June 25, 2020 at 2:46 am | #

      This came out like I’m mad at Amber, when I’m really just like ‘whooo boy luck saved you from another bump in the friendship road you would feel bad about caused by no fault of your own.’

      • Seregiel
        Seregiel
        June 25, 2020 at 7:44 pm | #

        Mike specifically pushed them away because he saw the threat level of Amber’s dad. Pretty sure he’d understand a distance play. As he seems to be aware AG and Amber are separate I think there would be double understanding.

    • CJ
      CJ
      June 25, 2020 at 4:03 am | #

      I still don’t quite get why you think Mike would expect her to stay. It’s not like Blaine and Toedad were no longer a threat.

  37. Arian
    Arian
    June 25, 2020 at 2:47 am | #

    Is he “in a coma” or is he just “unconscious”? Is there a difference? Is a coma simply not *stopping* being unconscious for a long time? I need info.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 25, 2020 at 2:54 am | #

      From Google:

      “a state of deep unconsciousness that lasts for a prolonged or indefinite period, caused especially by severe injury or illness”

    • Jay
      Jay
      June 25, 2020 at 2:55 am | #

      Coma is just a really long unconsciousness where you can’t wake them up from so yes Mike is currently in a Coma.

      But that doesn’t mean he has to be in a coma for a long time you can be in a coma for like 2 days lmao

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 25, 2020 at 6:01 am | #

      Definitely in a coma, probably not fully cognizant.

      Not a doctor, but I think this is evidence of brain trauma setting in. He was speaking a lot more clearly right after the fall. Maybe brain swelling? In that case they’d do emergency surgery to relieve the pressure, which would explain the huge bandage.

  38. Saucistophe
    Saucistophe
    June 25, 2020 at 3:55 am | #

    The content YOUR MOM has been clamoring for

  39. Tan
    Tan
    June 25, 2020 at 4:19 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: You’re Being Earnest and It’s Frightening

  40. Ob
    Ob
    June 25, 2020 at 4:48 am | #

    Good friends… Bst frds…. *falls into coma*

    *wakes up* … with YOUR MOM

  41. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    June 25, 2020 at 5:19 am | #

    “I’ve got your wallet”.

    This is one of those weird American things about having to pay to get into an emergency room, isn’t it? Though I suppose it could just be so the hospital knows who he is…

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 25, 2020 at 5:58 am | #

      Pretty sure its the latter.

      Hospitals have to admit pretty much everyone. They figure out how much they’re going to charge after the dust settles and they figure out which insurance company you’re under. Sometimes that number gets hyperinflated, so they can make a “deal” with the insurance company so on paper the company sees a big percentage off to make the shareholders happy, but the hospital ends up charging as much as they would have anyway.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 25, 2020 at 6:41 am | #

        This has a happy, happy bonus of greatly increasing medical costs for anyone WITHOUT insurance (or, say, who has to go out of network because there was no in-network emergency room within a hundred miles).

        Hospitals get to keep doing their thing and sometimes get extra money, big insurance companies get to construct a cartel out of something that people will pay any price for, and their shareholders watch the stock price go through the roof. Everyone who was in on the deal wins. Hurray capitalism.

        Moral of the story: A public option is communism and therefore unAmerican.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          June 25, 2020 at 7:33 am | #

          If said individuals can’t pay those costs, the hospital will just roll them into the cost of their overhead for everybody else.

          FrEe mARkeT capitaLiSm, BAbY!

          • JBento
            JBento
            June 25, 2020 at 10:07 am | #

            The “capital” in “capitalism” has two meanings: it’s both “money” and the level of punishment you get for the heinous crime of not having enough of it.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 25, 2020 at 8:19 am | #

        The emergency room has to treat everyone. Other hospital services, not so much.
        And they only have to stabilize you. Once it’s no longer an emergency and you can be released, you’re on your own if you can’t pay. Even if that leads you to wind up back in the emergency room for lack of follow-up care or a relatively cheap medication.

        This also leads to people without insurance using the emergency room for routine care, which is the most expensive way for the hospital to provide it.

        In this case though, as He Who Abides says, the intent was to keep him anonymous so Blaine (and his corrupt cops) wouldn’t be able to find him.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      June 25, 2020 at 6:42 am | #

      I believe AG wanted to keep Mike anonymous, and men tend to keep their ID in their wallets.

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      June 25, 2020 at 7:30 am | #

      Yeah, pretty sure it’s about ensuring the hospital doesn’t know who he is, actually. If she keeps his wallet, he’s anonymous, and that much harder to find by people who would do him harm to get to her.

  42. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 25, 2020 at 6:07 am | #

    So… the hospital staff knew who he was. Did no one contact Ruth to let her know that, yeah, by the way, this entire day one of your students has been in coma here. Just FYI

    • Alopex
      Alopex
      June 25, 2020 at 6:21 am | #

      Mike doesn’t live on Ruth’s floor. His RA is the laid back trekkie guy, I think?

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 25, 2020 at 6:41 am | #

        Yup, it is.

        Probably contacted Mike’s next of kin, though.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 25, 2020 at 8:20 am | #

      I don’t think so: She dropped him off anonymously and she kept his wallet with his ID.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 26, 2020 at 12:15 am | #

        ah got it. I read it wrong two different ways.

  43. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    June 25, 2020 at 6:18 am | #

    Inside Amber’s head, Brain!AG is replaying these memories for Brain!Amber on a big viewscreen.

    Brain!AG: THIS is what I was TRYING to tell you about yesterday.
    Brain!Amber: *Silently watching in horror exactly the same as the last panel*

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      June 25, 2020 at 7:10 am | #

      Because Amber doesn’t already have enough trauma in her life due to her mental health issues.

  44. Mark
    Mark
    June 25, 2020 at 7:48 am | #

    Huh, and I had almost convinced myself that the gang had just been imagining Mike the whole time, while he’s studying at UIndy and is blissfully unaware of all this drama.

  45. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    June 25, 2020 at 8:11 am | #

    Mike’s last words are good. What a relief.

  46. Dracke
    Dracke
    June 25, 2020 at 8:32 am | #

    Do people finally get him?
    He is an asshole but that never meant he didn’t care
    He is an asshole
    i won’t say he was
    you are crying…

  47. Jay
    Jay
    June 25, 2020 at 8:45 am | #

    General, pedantic note: Nothing in a hospital room goes “boop boop boop boop”. I spent all of last year in and out of ERs and Hospitals helping to care for a cancer patient. I was surprised (for some reason) that Hollywood got it wrong. Though I’ll admit, it does help communicate the idea of what’s happening sonically.

    No, the thing I hate about hospital rooms is the deafening, soul shattering silence when you sit for hours with someone who you are just about certain will never speak to you again. That’s the hard part…

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 25, 2020 at 9:00 am | #

      At this point it’s just a Hollywood shorthand trope for “this person is in serious medical danger”.

    • Falconer
      Falconer
      June 25, 2020 at 9:08 am | #

      “No, the thing I hate about hospital rooms is the deafening, soul shattering silence when you sit for hours with someone who you are just about certain will never speak to you again. That’s the hard part…”

      Amen to that! It’s like nothing’s going on outside the door. It’s a surprise when the nurse comes in and it’s a different nurse than the last few times the nurse came in.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      June 25, 2020 at 10:25 pm | #

      In the ER, you’re likely to have some noises, such as a ventilator if you’re on one, the automatic blood pressure cuff that will turn on every ten minutes or so to get your BP, or an IV or morphine pump that will make a noise when it kicks in.  In the regular room, not so much so unless you are still on an IV or morphine pump.

  48. hof1991
    hof1991
    June 25, 2020 at 9:38 am | #

    Hospital beeping is a TV convention. Like you know you’re in a wilderness because there’s a hawk’s cry. Hawks also live in cities and aren’t that verbal, because they’re hunters. But if someone is in a semi-wild place, there is immediately a hawk’s call because its a video shorthand.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 25, 2020 at 10:35 am | #

      Unlike crows, which are ‘effin EVERYWHERE

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 25, 2020 at 3:27 pm | #

      Or if the show is based in a submarine, you hear the sonar ping noise. If you hear that in real life, you can expect to have a close personal relationship with a torpedo very shortly.

  49. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 25, 2020 at 11:19 am | #

    I guess Mike is like an onion, he has layers.

    That is my first and hopefully last time I quote Shrek.

  50. HMRC4EVR
    HMRC4EVR
    June 25, 2020 at 12:24 pm | #

    The big question is if Mike dies, who will he pass the Matrix of Snark to?

    • Sombrero
      Sombrero
      June 25, 2020 at 3:40 pm | #

      To The Unshadow, of course.

  51. NotPiffany
    NotPiffany
    June 25, 2020 at 2:06 pm | #

    So when he talks about good friends, best friends. Is he talking about Amber and Ethan, or is he talking about Amber and Amazi-Girl?

  52. Seregiel
    Seregiel
    June 25, 2020 at 7:40 pm | #

    Renée. She’s supposed to be female Mike so maybe she can upgrade from negging.

  53. A Friendly Irin
    A Friendly Irin
    June 25, 2020 at 8:37 pm | #

    it’s okay I didn’t need my heart anyway

  54. Sarpiedon
    Sarpiedon
    June 25, 2020 at 10:15 pm | #

    Mike: Even as I fell I knew I wouldn’t die.
    AG: oh? I thought he was the only one who’s immortal.
    Mike: I’ve always known, I’ll die fucking your mom.

  55. HeySo
    HeySo
    June 25, 2020 at 10:54 pm | #

    Okay, but, in that last panel- is she hiding a yawn, eating skittles, or contemplating whether or not it’s worth stealing his ventilator to take it for a spin?

    ’cause those are really the only interpretations of that posture that I can come up with.. 😛

  56. Sun
    Sun
    June 26, 2020 at 9:06 pm | #

    🙁

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
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You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
GOTTEM
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reposted by David M Willis!
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geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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