Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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and his bike was mysteriously still there, unstolen
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June 8, 2026

Retrieve

by David M Willis on August 7, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 05 – As Long As It's Free
└ Tags: danny, sal

Discussion (171) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    August 7, 2021 at 12:03 am | #

    Danny encountering Sal immediately after losing a bicycle is a multiversal constant.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      August 7, 2021 at 12:03 am | #

      …something’s not right here

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        August 7, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

        Exactly, Danny’s bike wasn’t stolen!

        • Kyrik Michalowski
          Kyrik Michalowski
          August 7, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

          Maybe Danny’s ‘good egg’ charm is enough to keep him from being robbed… for now.

          • Clif
            Clif
            August 7, 2021 at 1:25 am | #

            Willis continues to build towards his surprise Sal/Joe and Joyce/Danny pairings.

            • Yumi
              Yumi
              August 7, 2021 at 1:28 am | #

              They all somehow agree to go on a double date, but they get mixed up about who’s paired with whom.

              • Ryan
                Ryan
                August 7, 2021 at 2:14 am | #

                Joyl and Doe?

                • Casi
                  Casi
                  August 7, 2021 at 3:10 am | #

                  Doyl and Joe

                • misanthropope
                  misanthropope
                  August 7, 2021 at 12:37 pm | #

                  “Jal” and “Dance”

          • BarerMender
            BarerMender
            August 7, 2021 at 2:15 am | #

            Maybe he left the bike at the bike store.

      • Anthony Paoli
        Anthony Paoli
        August 7, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

        Does this make you the new Ana?

        • Clif
          Clif
          August 7, 2021 at 1:47 am | #

          Was there something wrong with the old Ana?

          • Anthony Paoli
            Anthony Paoli
            August 8, 2021 at 1:26 am | #

            Not at all, we all love Ana, I was just making a joke about Ana not making the first comment.
            (Which happens from time to time, I know, but it’s still rare enough that it’s fun to comment on.)

      • DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
        August 7, 2021 at 2:32 am | #

        Seems a little too in-character for Danny for it to reach ‘something is not right, here…’ levels.

        Every Jerry needs his Beth, after all……..

  2. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    August 7, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    Here’s how you’re supposed to do it, Danno

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 7, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      That’s somehow an even more Dannyish way to do it, so I’ll actually give him props for NOT doing that. Perhaps there’s hope for him after all.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 7, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

      The bike thieves in my town are rather adept at riding one and pushing a second bike along beside them. The cops either don’t or can’t do anything about them, and to everyone else they’re just part of the scenery.

      • milu
        milu
        August 7, 2021 at 5:17 am | #

        I’ve ridden a bike while pushing a second bike beside me for non-crime reasons a few times…?

        • Minotaur
          Minotaur
          August 7, 2021 at 6:58 am | #

          Me too, but I live in Amsterdam, so possibly that doesn’t count. Also, I’ve carried my locked bike across town without anyone commenting. Bicycle keys are tiny, they fall out of pockets…

          • Felix
            Felix
            August 7, 2021 at 9:15 am | #

            You don’t keep your on a key ring? I have mine on a key ring attached to my wallet.

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 7, 2021 at 10:57 am | #

          It’s more a combination of it being
          1. The same dudes each time
          2. Different bikes each time
          3. Sometimes the former chain/bike lock is still present
          4. The bolt cutter being loosely held across the handle bars of the bike they’re riding.
          5. The rate at which locals report stolen bikes to the police
          It’s not always all of these. But theres a high enough occurrence in a small enough town that… well… it /could/ be decent folks just having a day. It just computes to something else very reasonably.

          • milu
            milu
            August 7, 2021 at 2:51 pm | #

            ok yeah, that does end up looking pretty sus. if i were them and i was doing such great business though, i would buy a van.

    • Johan
      Johan
      August 7, 2021 at 1:27 am | #

      How did you?

  3. Wagstaff
    Wagstaff
    August 7, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    Hmm….. who do you know of who might be hungry for some wonder-bread?

    • Meagan
      Meagan
      August 7, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

      Good question. Danny deserves to be with someone who appreciates him.

  4. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    August 7, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    Good for you Danny, you got to love yourself first and foremost before someone else can.

    • Meagan
      Meagan
      August 7, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

      This immediately popped in my head when I read your comment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2lmojePnA0

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 7, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

        Ah, self-love. It’s the subject of corny songs and cheesy internet memes.

        But it’s important to seriously reckon that self-love is the foundation of all love. Self-love isn’t about being proud or immodest. It isn’t about deluding ourselves that we have some special importance. It’s about being secure in our self-worth. When we don’t have an abiding internal sense of our own worth, we often end up seeking validation from external agents (some of which are more than happy to take advantage of us).

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 7, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

          Can confirm: couldn’t find love on mirror; have wrecked life looking for love in toxic pairings.

        • milu
          milu
          August 7, 2021 at 6:27 am | #

          but Wagstaff, the song isn’t corny it’s sarcastic ^^

          to the extent that it says anything about self-love, and in the larger context of the show where this is a running theme, i think it’s that without a healthy sense of self-worth, women are especially vulnerable to prescriptions about body-normativity, insidiously repackaged as feminist based on a recuperation of the “personal is political” maxim and of the idea of radical self-love.

          see, e.g., Andi Zeisler:

          “It never meant that everything that’s personal is political, but here we are with bikini waxing as a political statement.
          (…)
          (it’s) this idea that if you’re a feminist, everything you do must somehow be bent to fit this idea of your own personal politics, even if it might be or should be inherently apolitical.
          (…)
          we see a lot more acknowledgement these days that men don’t get off easy in the body-imperative marketplace. But (…) the difference is that they don’t often have to defend their personal or physical or sexual choices as political ones.”

          • Wagstaff
            Wagstaff
            August 7, 2021 at 7:12 am | #

            It’s the same basic poison as social media, and of many religions.

            It starts when individuals create an image, or god, as an idealized amalgamation of their greatest virtues, and then cling to these fabrications, preferring them to reality. And slowly people become alienated from themselves, through unfavorable comparison of their selves to an image, a god they forgot THEY created.

  5. Nono
    Nono
    August 7, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny: I like pretty things! …Like you.

    • crow
      crow
      August 7, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

      That’s kinda gay bro

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        August 7, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

        Danny is pretty though. He’s also not really smooth enough to pull off that line.

        • milu
          milu
          August 7, 2021 at 5:21 am | #

          Danny: Do you like pretty things, like flowers… or me?

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        August 7, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

        It made me smile gaily too, Mr Crow.

  6. Kravis
    Kravis
    August 7, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    MC Hammer knows what Danny likes, for he can’t lie.

  7. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    August 7, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    Thought I heard something about how things happen in cycles?

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 7, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

      Wanna play something to break your Muzak back in?

  8. Vukodlak
    Vukodlak
    August 7, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    Sal: “Did you buy condoms too?”

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 1:29 am | #

      AmaziGirl always had them on hand.

  9. Grimey
    Grimey
    August 7, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    No one has any idea what they’re doing here, and that is fine.

  10. Joe Moose
    Joe Moose
    August 7, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    As the sentimentally romantic sap I am, I cannot help myself by going, “Awwww…!” at this strip.

  11. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    August 7, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    Guys can like flowers and pretty things! It’s 2021. Get outta your box, Sal!

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 1:33 am | #

      I brought you some flowers because I knew you would enjoy watching them die.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      August 7, 2021 at 5:37 am | #

      As a guy, I wouldn’t mind if a girl gave me flowers. I’d probably kill them since I’m bad at keeping plants alive, but I’d enjoy being given them.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        August 7, 2021 at 6:34 am | #

        But they’re flowers, implying “cut flowers”. They’re already going to die, which takes the burden off you.

        My wife also has a brown thumb and doubly enjoys flowers for the above reason.

  12. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    August 7, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    Oh Danny boy, you are so… you. I really want this ship to sail but I fear the wrath of the Willis. Who wants to make bets on what’s going to happen?

    My money is on Sal asking Danny out, and him bumbling (albeit sweetly) through their date.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      August 7, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

      I think she might go for it. She does actually like him and has hinted at him before he could’ve made a move. But I do also think that’s too obvious now. Sal’s kind of been getting in her own way with her cool loner shctick this story so she could easily blow this.

      • JBento
        JBento
        August 7, 2021 at 5:42 am | #

        It’s the guy who can’t stand up for himself and the girl who can’t stand anyone else. They’d get on like a house on fire. Screams, flames, people running for safety…

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 7, 2021 at 8:36 am | #

          Danny has recently learned the power of Self-Respect.

          Also he gets off on being dominated so he’ll be fine.

    • Radiance
      Radiance
      August 7, 2021 at 12:29 am | #

      My money’s just on her telling him “you missed your chance”, for one reason or another. That’s the vibe I’m getting from their interactions lately.

    • I am Nothing
      I am Nothing
      August 7, 2021 at 5:18 am | #

      Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…
      …From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.

    • Wereg
      Wereg
      August 7, 2021 at 5:31 am | #

      I’m betting that Willis faffs about with Sal and Asher for a little bit, then Danny and Sal go out for a bit. Eventually, Danny gets insecure about Asher for one of a dozen reasons and that insecurity manifests in the form of a few issues that eventually ends the relationship.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        August 7, 2021 at 9:04 am | #

        I don’t think Asher would be the problem. Sal is definitely attracted to him but as long as he’s dating Jennifer I don’t see them hanging out much. Honestly I think a surprise Ethan reappearance would threaten any future romances involving Danny.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 7, 2021 at 9:12 am | #

          Yeah that’s what I’m thinking too.

          A move’ll finally be made and out walks Bully Siegal with Thor’s hammer.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      August 7, 2021 at 5:39 am | #

      I’m kinda shipping them now. Seems like Sal and Danny in this universe would be a much healthier couple than their counterparts in the other universe.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        August 7, 2021 at 11:58 pm | #

        There are no healthy OG-Walkyverse pairings involving either Danny or Sal, honestly.

  13. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    August 7, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

    For whatever it’s worth, it’s not that hard to ride one bike while holding a second bike upright. The common term for it is “ghost-riding”. Just grasp the second bike where the handlebars meet the stem and hold it out at arm’s length to one side or the other, as shown here.

  14. Wagstaff
    Wagstaff
    August 7, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    I CAN’T WAIT until bouquets are replaced with something else as the *official* gift of affection.

    They’re expensive, impractical, and just so bourgeois.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      August 7, 2021 at 1:34 am | #

      Counterpoint: they look pretty and smell good.

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 7, 2021 at 2:53 am | #

        So does a well made meal, but you can’t eat a bouquet (usually).

      • Azhrei Vep
        Azhrei Vep
        August 7, 2021 at 6:29 am | #

        Counter-counterpoint: They looks awful and smell gross.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          August 7, 2021 at 10:02 am | #

          exCUSE me?? If flowers “look awful and smell gross”, then what are your standards for looking pretty and smelling good? 😛

          • He Who Abides
            He Who Abides
            August 7, 2021 at 7:13 pm | #

            Zoidberg.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 1:40 am | #

      Is it still bourgeois if the flowers were stolen liberated?

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 1:50 am | #

      In any case, I have to disagree with your premise. It’s only fair to give her a gift that is as ephemeral as your love.

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 7, 2021 at 2:52 am | #

        Just who are you referring to? Love in general or just Danny’s?

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 7, 2021 at 4:21 am | #

        In either case, even if the love is ephemeral, a well-made meal is too, but you can’t eat a bouquet (usually).

        Even if you could eat a bouquet technically, it doesn’t taste nearly as good as, say, Mac and Cheese!!!!

        • I am Nothing
          I am Nothing
          August 7, 2021 at 5:20 am | #

          I don’t like Mac and Cheese, Mr. Wagstaff.

          • Wagstaff
            Wagstaff
            August 7, 2021 at 5:23 am | #

            Oh. Do you like Omelet Rice? Or Crispex corndogs?

            • I am Nothing
              I am Nothing
              August 7, 2021 at 5:32 am | #

              I don’t think I’ve ever eaten either of these, so…

              Both?

              • Wagstaff
                Wagstaff
                August 7, 2021 at 5:36 am | #

                You won’t regret it! At the very least, not if I made them…

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  August 7, 2021 at 6:00 am | #

                  Oh! I didn’t mean that in a romantic kind of way!

                  But those are still EXCELLENT dishes and definitely worth trying out when you get the opportunity!

            • voidsiren
              voidsiren
              August 7, 2021 at 11:25 am | #

              My next spoil-yourself 4m4z0n gift is going to be one of those square frying pans that people use for bento omelets. I’m insanely jealous that you eat omelet rice. Just cus I wanna try making it and haven’t had the chance to yet.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                August 7, 2021 at 11:29 am | #

                omelet rice sounds delicious wtf

              • Clif
                Clif
                August 7, 2021 at 12:24 pm | #

                Silly Voidsiren. Square frying pans are for making cornbread.

              • Bicycle Bill
                Bicycle Bill
                August 8, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

                My mom’s had two of those for literally decades, although she doesn’t use them for omelets as such. But she does make an omelet-like fried egg (crack a single egg into a swirl mixer, add some chopped onions and green peppers, then pour into the pan and fry it hard), and the pan makes the finished fried egg just the right size to put between two pieces of bread with mustard and Miracle Whip. Fresh fried-egg sandwiches ….. yummy!!

    • Fist_of_Life
      Fist_of_Life
      August 7, 2021 at 7:37 am | #

      They are just as expensive, impractical, and bourgeois as whatever would probably replace them.

      • Clif
        Clif
        August 7, 2021 at 7:51 am | #

        Specially grown Love Cabbages.

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 7, 2021 at 7:53 am | #

        A well-made meal provides marvelous taste and nutrients. A bouquet does not.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          August 7, 2021 at 9:54 am | #

          A well-made meal can be the best-cooked in the world, but if I’m not hungry it’s just going to sit there and go cold. And then I’d feel bad.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          August 7, 2021 at 1:09 pm | #

          Said meal is gone very quickly while flowers last for a few weeks,

  15. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    August 7, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

    Interesting. I think it’s a cute pairing, but I am mostly wondering what brought it on, since Danny had not previously pursued her, really. Like, I wonder what else is going on, both in his life and if they’re still tutor/student buds or what.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 7, 2021 at 8:38 am | #

      Well when Sal joked(?) about it when Danny was flirting as aggressively terrible as possible, Danny kind of stammered out that he liked her, but he’s only capable of having romantic feelings for one person at a time, which was Ethan.

      So he’s probably given up on that.

  16. plasticwrap
    plasticwrap
    August 7, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

    What a waste of money, you stupid monkey.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 1:17 am | #

      If she doesn’t want them, there’s always Ethan.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        August 7, 2021 at 2:06 am | #

        No, Ethan didn’t come back after break. He’s back home.

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          August 7, 2021 at 2:10 am | #

          Has that been confirmed anywhere, or is it speculation?

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            August 7, 2021 at 4:52 am | #

            It’s been actively contradicted. Walky’s said he’s seen him since returning from break and he looks super emo now iirc.

            • Yumi
              Yumi
              August 7, 2021 at 10:37 am | #

              Yeah, I remember that strip, but there was the possibility from it that Walky has seen Ethan looking like that on social media. And actually looking back at that strip, it seems ambiguous enough that Walky could have been referring to Ethan before the new semester.

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          August 7, 2021 at 8:21 am | #

          Then who’s Mike supposed to be disguised as, then?

          • Clif
            Clif
            August 7, 2021 at 12:26 pm | #

            Jennifer and Booster. And switching back and forth between them is quite enough to keep them busy.

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        August 7, 2021 at 5:55 am | #

        I doubt Danny has much chance with Ethan anymore. Not after the last time we saw them together, when he was badmouthing Mike in front of Ethan in the hospital.

        • Clif
          Clif
          August 7, 2021 at 7:54 am | #

          On the other hand, Mike’s not around much anymore.

          • Clif
            Clif
            August 7, 2021 at 7:57 am | #

            And I don’t think either the Jenifer or Booster identities would appeal to Ethan.

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            August 7, 2021 at 8:20 am | #

            It’s true. Mike’s emotions are no longer a factor, because he’s physically incapable of having them anymore. Unless he’s Jennifer now, which I refuse to rule out.

            • Clif
              Clif
              August 7, 2021 at 12:30 pm | #

              word of Willis that Jennifer is Mike.

              I would put the link, but I can’t remember the name of the file I put the link in so that I would have it when needed.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 7, 2021 at 8:39 am | #

          Danny will try again with renewed vigor when he meets Goth Ethan.

  17. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    August 7, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

    Well, he ain’t stepped on a rake yet.

    So that’s a plus

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      August 7, 2021 at 5:56 am | #

      There’s still plenty of time for him to do so.

  18. cmasta1992
    cmasta1992
    August 7, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

    Oh hey two more faces what with I want to kiss each other.

  19. Samantha
    Samantha
    August 7, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

    This is adorable and I can actually see it working. They like eachother and Sal seems to find his goofiness endearing

  20. BBCC
    BBCC
    August 7, 2021 at 12:27 am | #

    The noises I made are not human. This is SO CUTE, aaaaaahhhhh Danny.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      August 7, 2021 at 12:36 am | #

      I can only imagine what unearthly noise you made sounded like. Glad to see you’re enjoying the Danny/Sal ship as much as I am.

  21. Yakumo
    Yakumo
    August 7, 2021 at 12:39 am | #

    Possibly most spot on alt-text in this series. Easily top five.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 1:53 am | #

      Yeah, when the natural order is disrupted so implausibly, it’s necessary to lampshade it in some manner.

  22. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 7, 2021 at 12:41 am | #

    o3o I’d buy bouquets for myself if flowers didn’t cost a million dollars. And…y’know. I didn’t like creature comforts like video games and candy way more than flowers. It’s probably why I’m not romantic.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      August 7, 2021 at 12:47 am | #

      My gifts to my latest ex were all video games and fudge. Shd certainly enjoyed the useful gifts.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 7, 2021 at 1:25 am | #

        I just want a gf who can beat me in fighting games 😛

        • milu
          milu
          August 7, 2021 at 6:39 am | #

          video games count as creature comforts? XD
          i’m sure to an alien ethnologist that would appear every bit as abstract a pleasure as the esthetic enjoyment of dead plant genitals

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 7, 2021 at 12:52 am | #

      Eh, besides impractical, bourgeois gifts, Romanticism and it’s fallacious ideals really did a lot of damage to the ability of people around the world to lead successful emotional lives.

      It’s likely that not being romantic is actually a good thing.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      August 7, 2021 at 1:07 am | #

      Bouquets don’t have to cost a million dollars (though I guess it depends on how much the metaphorical million dollars is equated to), though they can be expensive. But I like to buy a cheap one from time to time as a little gift/decoration. They can be nice to have around.

    • voidsiren
      voidsiren
      August 7, 2021 at 11:20 am | #

      I love getting bouquets as gifts, simply because they’re so rare for me to get. I can count the amount of times I’ve been given them.

      Unfortunately, people don’t check which flowers are safe around cats, so most of them die outside.

  23. Jammy
    Jammy
    August 7, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

    Jeez, even Willis doesn’t think Danny’s sharp enough to buy a lock for the bike. Sick burn?

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      August 7, 2021 at 1:10 am | #

      He bought a lock, he just forgot to lock his bike to anything.

      Though in my college town, there were definitely bike thiefs who weren’t stopped by locks, especially some of the types.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        August 7, 2021 at 1:13 am | #

        *thieves, lol…

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        August 7, 2021 at 4:39 am | #

        People can destroy those cable-style bike locks with their bare hands. The really cheap ones just pull apart, and the ‘better’ ones are just aircraft cable anyway. “Locks only keep an honest man honest”, after all.

        I like to think Danny locked his bike to a nearly full rack, but when he returned all the other bikes were stolen, leaving his surrounded by cut locks and one front wheel still chained up. Because it’s just not a desirable bike, it’s the last one standing.

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          August 7, 2021 at 4:42 am | #

          Just clip a bunch of colored wires, tubes and electronic-looking things to it. Chances are the thief will think it’s dangerous and won’t mess with it.

          • I am Nothing
            I am Nothing
            August 7, 2021 at 5:31 am | #

            I don’t want to risk being arrested for a bomb scare.

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              August 7, 2021 at 5:34 am | #

              I thought of this solution when I remembered when I built a notification system for my mail box when I was a kid. The mail man got scared of it, but didn’t specifically think it was a bomb.

              Maybe I need to build a dye pack or something for use in bikes…

              • I am Nothing
                I am Nothing
                August 7, 2021 at 5:40 am | #

                I’d simply recommend adding a spoiler and bright pink paint to your bike. Nobody would wanna be caught riding that!

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  August 7, 2021 at 5:41 am | #

                  What if they identify as a girl? And like pink things?

                • I am Nothing
                  I am Nothing
                  August 7, 2021 at 5:43 am | #

                  Add flames to the side!

                  All girls are deterred by flames.

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  August 7, 2021 at 5:45 am | #

                  What if they’re also a pyrophile? Or a fan of Fire Force?

                • I am Nothing
                  I am Nothing
                  August 7, 2021 at 5:47 am | #

                  Well, I guess my logic has been backed into a corner.

                  The only other thing I could recommend would be to cut the brakes entirely.

                  Maybe it’s just destiny for your bike to be eventually stolen?

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  August 7, 2021 at 5:48 am | #

                  Not if I can help it!

                  With the power of SCIENCE!!!

                • Delicious Taffy
                  Delicious Taffy
                  August 7, 2021 at 8:25 am | #

                  Pink paint just means they’re gonna trash your lock extra hard because now they gotta spraypaint over it later on and that’s material cost they could be using on meth or lootboxes.

    • RacingTurtle
      RacingTurtle
      August 7, 2021 at 2:19 am | #

      Nah, it’s just twenty-odd-year-old bike theft trauma reasserting itself once more. In another lifetime, Danny had his bike stolen; as I recall, it was inspired by an autobiographical true crime story

    • Amos Batista
      Amos Batista
      August 7, 2021 at 5:39 am | #

      Is Indiana that so insecure you have to woeey about lock you bike?

      • Clif
        Clif
        August 7, 2021 at 8:23 am | #

        If it’s like the rest of America, yes, since the early ’60s.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        August 7, 2021 at 8:30 am | #

        I don’t even let mine out of sight when I’m in a store. It has to be right by the front window of wherever I’m shopping, because I know some smug asshole is gonna try stealing it and then get all uppity about it when they’re caught in the act. Can’t even ride it to Walmart (or really anywhere since my house is right by the highway and there are no fucking sidewalks in this hellhole).

        That’s Illinois, but I imagine Indiana is more or less the same thing, just with more queer and Irish people.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        August 7, 2021 at 8:31 am | #

        The hell part of the world are you in where you don’t worry about thieves?

        Someone tries to break into every car in the neighbourhood on a nightly basis to steal loose change. We just kind of have a laugh about it now like ah shoulda locked your car mate the nickel bandit strikes again

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          August 7, 2021 at 8:34 am | #

          The fuckin’ audacity of that person. They could at least tidy up the floorboards.

      • Amos Batista
        Amos Batista
        August 7, 2021 at 12:03 pm | #

        “woeey”
        kkkk

  24. adam Black
    adam Black
    August 7, 2021 at 1:15 am | #

    Dannys never going to suck a dick , is he?

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      August 7, 2021 at 8:26 am | #

      Well, he’s been goin’ pretty ham on his own, especially in the lead-up to the timeskip.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        August 7, 2021 at 8:44 am | #

        He asserted himself in the face of his crush telling him in no uncertain terms that he’d have let Mike laugh at Danny if he were in a coma.

        Yeah Danny shoved his foot in his mouth, but everything he said about Mike was true. No it’s not okay to joke about someone never waking up from a coma, but what the hell kinda person do you gotta be so that someone thinks it?

        • He Who Abides
          He Who Abides
          August 7, 2021 at 7:23 pm | #

          Someone who thinks it’s fun to wind up a mentally ill person just to see what happens next, sabotages someone else’s new relationship rather than just asking to switch bunks, uses blatantly false misandrist bullshit to justify beating a guy halfway to Hell, and seduces their best friend because they can use that fornication to needle said best friend’s crush?

          I mean, the bestest guy ever because his previous-universe version was a slightly less abhorrent ass-wipe. That’s how we’re supposed to think of him, right?

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 7, 2021 at 8:28 am | #

      He sucked on self-respect. Dicks are secondary.

  25. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    August 7, 2021 at 1:18 am | #

    I’m going to assume that Danny does like pretty things even though the bouquet is probably for Sal.

  26. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    August 7, 2021 at 1:42 am | #

    This scenario remember me of “Romeo and Juliet”. I just hope there will not be the same amount of tragedy, but a poor bike has already disappeared… not a good sign! I’m sorry, I love this couple, but something tells me they can’t be happy.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 8:14 am | #

      No, no. It’s like the Sherlock Holmes inversion of the dog that didn’t bark. The significant point is that the old bike didn’t disappear in spite of Danny buying and giving a new one away to Sal. Just as Sherlock could conclude that the dog knew the interloper, so we can conclude that Night Guy was on patrol protecting the campus and surrounding environment. Otherwise, it simply doesn’t make sense.

  27. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    August 7, 2021 at 1:44 am | #

    Danny can make a flower crown from that bouquet. His head has looked naked for a while.

  28. TlalocW
    TlalocW
    August 7, 2021 at 2:16 am | #

    So the nerd in me what’s them to hook up and it be the best sex Sal ever had. Make it happen.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 8:17 am | #

      That would, in fact, be an interesting development. Unfortunately it would require that Danny find it disappointing.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 7, 2021 at 8:50 am | #

      Sal strikes me as someone who unloads a lot of aggression when boning.

      Which is helpful, since Danny wants someone to be aggressive at him.

  29. BenRG
    BenRG
    August 7, 2021 at 2:21 am | #

    Yes, Sal, he is interested in you “that way”! So, now you’ve got to decide what you’re going to do about it!

  30. AGV
    AGV
    August 7, 2021 at 3:56 am | #

    Maybe it’s Maybelline

  31. K. Ivan Ruppert
    K. Ivan Ruppert
    August 7, 2021 at 4:01 am | #

    You know…

    I’m not against Danny actually having a chance with Sal in this timeline.

  32. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    August 7, 2021 at 4:25 am | #

    Woah dude, you are absolutely hopeless (tho not necessarily in a bad way)

  33. Bagge
    Bagge
    August 7, 2021 at 5:21 am | #

    …smooth?

    Well, at least very Danny.

  34. milu
    milu
    August 7, 2021 at 5:36 am | #

    the romance in this chapter continues to be suspiciously non-bad

    • JBento
      JBento
      August 7, 2021 at 5:55 am | #

      This has all the trappings of a non-toxic relationship, and I don’t trust it.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        August 7, 2021 at 8:30 am | #

        I’m worried because there’s no way Dumbing of Age will let two burgeoning romances where both parties have standard amount of relationship drama stand at the same time.

  35. Amos Batista
    Amos Batista
    August 7, 2021 at 5:43 am | #

    Danny just crossed the “pure romantic” border and is entereing the “inconvenient one” territory…

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 7, 2021 at 8:19 am | #

      He crossed a border. Which one remains to be seen.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        August 7, 2021 at 8:32 am | #

        In a move that baffles everyone, he’s somehow managed to cross the border between Germany and Ethiopia.

        • milu
          milu
          August 7, 2021 at 9:41 am | #

          A bit of digging turns up that Kenya (south of Ethiopia) was under German authority for a few years during the 1880s, and a quick back-calculation based on the current rate of the sliding timescale (10 years real-time =4 months comic-time) suggests that Danny was about 13 years old then.

          So, only mildly baffled.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 7, 2021 at 8:52 am | #

      It’ll only get inconvenient when Goth Ethan walks into frame within the next few strips.

      Because now Ethan is the Amber. It’s like poetry, it rhymes.

  36. thumb
    thumb
    August 7, 2021 at 9:07 am | #

    . . . Danny

  37. Buli-buli
    Buli-buli
    August 7, 2021 at 9:39 am | #

    Well, Willis apoears to be making my two favorite ships canon. In freshman year. So… they’re doomed, huh?

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 7, 2021 at 9:41 am | #

      Damn so that’s how Danny and Billie stuck through Roomies together

      He met her when he was a sophomore

  38. Alex
    Alex
    August 7, 2021 at 10:37 am | #

    I bet Sal goes for it, but for the wrong reasons.

  39. Wendy
    Wendy
    August 7, 2021 at 11:01 am | #

    Danny’s a great character, but as a person he’s kind of a slimy little asshole. I really hope Sal doesn’t go for this. She deserves way better.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 7, 2021 at 11:05 am | #

      My Danny Criticism senses were activated and I am here to argue in his defense.

      Counterpoint: nuh-uh he’s great

      • Clif
        Clif
        August 7, 2021 at 12:44 pm | #

        The power of your argument compels me. He’s a great slimy little asshole and exactly what Sal deserves!

        Wait. What?

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 7, 2021 at 1:35 pm | #

          All Danny and Sal need to make this work are a dog collar and a leash.

  40. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    August 7, 2021 at 5:12 pm | #

    Danny needs to learn how to ride a bike with one hand, while ‘towing’ another bike with the other hand by steering it where the handlebar meets the post.

    It’s kinda slow, but it works.

    Either that, or take the front wheel off the second bike and wedge its front fork onto the rear axle of the one you’re riding. Sometimes you can do that if both bikes have quick-disconnect levers.

    • Vulcanodon
      Vulcanodon
      August 7, 2021 at 6:15 pm | #

      Easier than it looks. I usually ride the smaller bike and hold on to the gooseneck of the larger bike. You get a lot of weird looks though.

  41. Leadsynth
    Leadsynth
    August 8, 2021 at 8:53 am | #

    I’m just here to point out that Sal also took Danny’s helmet. So unless Danny bought another at the mall, he was biking around helmetless, and Sal now has TWO because of her roller derby helmet.

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