Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Asshole

by David M Willis on January 15, 2022 at 12:01 am
  • 02 – I'll Leave You A Phantom
└ Tags: amber, mike

Discussion (194) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    January 15, 2022 at 12:05 am | #

    oh no the FEELS

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      January 15, 2022 at 12:13 am | #

      hook it directly to my veins!

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        January 15, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

        Not me. Sticking with edibles, thank you.

        • Decidedly Orthogonal
          Decidedly Orthogonal
          January 15, 2022 at 10:35 am | #

          Dude carefull! The instructions are in the name. You gotta eat edibles. Do not, I repeat, do NOT attempt to take edibles intravenously!

          • The Wellerman
            The Wellerman
            January 15, 2022 at 3:13 pm | #

            I meat drama edibles silly! What did you think I meant?

            • Shen Hibiki
              Shen Hibiki
              January 15, 2022 at 10:03 pm | #

              That you were injecting drama edibles, of course!
              That’s what they implied!

              • Taellosse
                Taellosse
                January 16, 2022 at 8:48 pm | #

                Exactly! Surely the concentration is much too high!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 15, 2022 at 12:19 am | #

      Want to make it even worse?

      Imagine that this is like the ending of an episode of Scrubs, that throughout this scene we’ve still been hearing Sal sing Welcome to the Black Parade the whole time, and that she just got back to the line “Your memory will carry on”.

      Would that not fucking nuke your soul?

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        January 15, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

        That might depend on how good Danny is with his ukelele

        • Lingo
          Lingo
          January 15, 2022 at 1:59 am | #

          I got nuked by the uke!

          • Yet_One_More_Idiot
            Yet_One_More_Idiot
            January 15, 2022 at 7:20 pm | #

            Better than getting uked by the nuke. Probably.

      • AbacusWizard
        AbacusWizard
        January 15, 2022 at 12:30 am | #

        Scrubs was sooooooooo good at being a magnificent tearjerker

      • Furie
        Furie
        January 15, 2022 at 9:16 am | #

        Yeah, but then Danny’s gonna pipe up with “Why’s his dad leaving him a bantam anyway?” and it becomes a whole thing where they’re explaining how he got the lyric wrong all those years ago and now Carla’s there and she’s asking what a bantam even is despite blatantly knowing.

  2. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    January 15, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    Will we ever see ghost Mike again?…Maybe.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      January 15, 2022 at 12:11 am | #

      Willis tweeted a few weeks ago about how they’d forgotten to remove the shading on Mike from an upcoming strip presumably months in the future and had to go in and fix it, so I’d bet it’s not the last we’ve seen.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        January 15, 2022 at 12:12 am | #

        That strip already came and went.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          January 15, 2022 at 12:13 am | #

          Know who else came and went? Mike with everybody’s mom.

          • Azhrei Vep
            Azhrei Vep
            January 15, 2022 at 1:01 am | #

            You mother fucker.

            You’re just determined to make everyone else look bad aren’t you? How is anybody supposed to match up to that?

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              January 15, 2022 at 1:47 am | #

              By using the phrase “mother fucker”, completely by accident, totally not-at-all recognizing its double-meaning in this context?

              • ValdVin
                ValdVin
                January 15, 2022 at 1:58 am | #

                I think it’s both. Schrodinger’s motherfucker: We won’t know if it’s literal or figurative until we open the box.

                • Casi
                  Casi
                  January 15, 2022 at 2:15 am | #

                  We know miked opened every mom’s box.

                • Decidedly Orthogonal
                  Decidedly Orthogonal
                  January 15, 2022 at 10:27 am | #

                  Wait… Are we still talking about DoA or have we moved onto the Beastie Boys?

                • Shadowsnail
                  Shadowsnail
                  January 15, 2022 at 11:05 am | #

                  How did Mike do your mom? Let me count the ways:
                  1. Like this
                  2. Like that
                  3. With a wiffle ball bat

                • Bleuryder
                  Bleuryder
                  January 15, 2022 at 9:23 pm | #

                  Just to comment that I will be adding yhe phrase “Schrodinger’s motherfucker” to my vernacular.

                  Carry on.

    • Mollyscribbles
      Mollyscribbles
      January 15, 2022 at 12:20 am | #

      next strip with Joe: HELLO NEW FRIEND

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        January 15, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

        That would be both hilarious and very concerning for Joe’s mental health!

        • Fay
          Fay
          January 15, 2022 at 1:32 am | #

          Plot twist: it’s the comic shifting genres into supernatural horror.

          • Decidedly Orthogonal
            Decidedly Orthogonal
            January 15, 2022 at 10:30 am | #

            Mike’s shifting your mom into a supernatural whore!

      • Ryan
        Ryan
        January 15, 2022 at 1:51 am | #

        Brilliant

      • Decidedly Orthogonal
        Decidedly Orthogonal
        January 15, 2022 at 10:32 am | #

        Only 5lbs of pressure to break a skull, from the _inside_. 😊

      • Max
        Max
        January 15, 2022 at 3:30 pm | #

        Then Joe gains a superhero persona
        Sexo Loco

    • DJTsurugi
      DJTsurugi
      January 15, 2022 at 10:55 am | #

      he’ll be back… for a nickle. ~<3

  3. The Wellerman
    The Wellerman
    January 15, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    Wonder if this means he’ll never appear again.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      January 15, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

      Well, there are all those moms he has to sleep with in the afterlife…

      • Thanatos
        Thanatos
        January 15, 2022 at 5:31 am | #

        Women all over the world are experiencing sudden and unexplainable orgasms. As if one by one, women are being ravaged by an invisible sex master. This phenomenon only seems to be affecting women who have previously given birth. Women are now frantically engaging in sexual activity hoping to get pregnant so that they too can experience this. Experts have named this Mother’s Inexplicable Koochy Explosion or “MIKE” for short.

        • Pilgrim
          Pilgrim
          January 15, 2022 at 7:06 am | #

          Sorry, no. If Mike slept anyone, let alone someone’s Mom, he’d make damned sure the only orgasm was his. Unless he needed to record it for something like a marriage proposal.

          • eh, whatever
            eh, whatever
            January 15, 2022 at 7:23 am | #

            So, always.

        • a/snow/mous/e
          a/snow/mous/e
          January 15, 2022 at 11:52 am | #

          props for the backronym lmao

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      January 15, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

      People were wondering that the first time too. I am at least hoping his disappearance means Amber fell asleep cause she needs it. Plus there’s always Walky’s comic.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        January 15, 2022 at 12:12 am | #

        Who knows, Amber might just summon him again but only as a dream-sex apparition like she did with him and Danny that one time.

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          January 15, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

          That would actually be the worst, which maybe makes it more likely to happen.

          • The Wellerman
            The Wellerman
            January 15, 2022 at 12:16 am | #

            This NSFW of Amber’s only gonna get more relevant, isn’t it?

            https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/thewellerman/super-amber-69

            • Durandal_1707
              Durandal_1707
              January 15, 2022 at 12:47 am | #

              Newgrounds still exists?

              And people apparently still post stuff to it?

              Huh, didn’t expect that.

              • The Wellerman
                The Wellerman
                January 15, 2022 at 12:55 am | #

                HELL YEAH it exists!

                And it’s a good thing too!

                The censor-bots can suck my octagon!

                Also, if you haven’t already, create a Newgrounds account! It’ll be awesome, trust me!!!!

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                January 15, 2022 at 7:05 am | #

                Not only does Newgrounds exist, a game came out called Friday Night Funkin’ that is basically a hotpot of Newgrounds nostalgia.

                In the face of the early 00s now getting its nostalgia throwbacks, we may need to accept that we are extremely old.

                • Needfuldoer
                  Needfuldoer
                  January 15, 2022 at 8:05 am | #

                  I tried that game and my old man hands failed miserably.

                  I’ll just go rewatch B.

          • RassilonTDavros
            RassilonTDavros
            January 15, 2022 at 12:45 am | #

            Amber has Imaginary Brain Sex with Imaginary Brain Mike, neither of them use Imaginary Brain Protection, and neither of them are aware that Robin has switched her Imaginary Brain Birth Control Pills with Imaginary Brain Breath Mints by mistake. Imaginary Brain Hijinks ensue.

            • King Daniel
              King Daniel
              January 15, 2022 at 2:20 am | #

              And Imaginary Donna is born.

              • Jamie
                Jamie
                January 15, 2022 at 5:28 pm | #

                Immaculate Conception was never so weird.

                And it’s pretty weird.

  4. alongcameaspider
    alongcameaspider
    January 15, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    This has been a long time coming and it will ultimately help lead Amber to a healthier place

    Still hurts though

    • StClair
      StClair
      January 15, 2022 at 12:13 am | #

      Yes.

  5. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    January 15, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    Maybe Joe’s simple suggestion actually got through to Amber. Either way, for Amber’s sake I hope this is the end of Halluci-Mike. So how is Amber going to help Joe with Joyce?

    • Rabisch
      Rabisch
      January 15, 2022 at 3:09 am | #

      Amber the wingman! Can’t wait to see that.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        January 15, 2022 at 3:14 am | #

        Oh my. A mutual symbiosis where Amber fulfills her warming up as bridges and helps Joe at the same time.

        It might just work out TOO well.

  6. bogeywoman
    bogeywoman
    January 15, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    Healing hurts

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 15, 2022 at 12:12 am | #

      “It has to hurt if it’s to heal”.

      That line from Neverending Story always stuck with me as a kid.

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        January 15, 2022 at 10:58 pm | #

        Which was, appropriately enough, about depression

  7. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    January 15, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

    …jesus christ, brain mike

  8. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    January 15, 2022 at 12:15 am | #

    This sort of coming-to-terms with losing someone you had a complex relationship with is great drama, love it

    • alongcameaspider
      alongcameaspider
      January 15, 2022 at 12:22 am | #

      I’m glad she’s willing to admit that Mike was an asshole, it would be boring if she only focused on the good parts (and it provides a nice contrast between her and Ethan)

  9. Too Old To Be Cool
    Too Old To Be Cool
    January 15, 2022 at 12:15 am | #

    Amber needs a good cry.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 15, 2022 at 4:24 am | #

      Like I said the other day, she’s been fighting to keep it together but what she really needs is catharsis from letting herself fall apart.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        January 15, 2022 at 4:50 am | #

        And then a nice dream 😴

  10. june gloom
    june gloom
    January 15, 2022 at 12:15 am | #

    As someone dealing with… all kinds of grief, this hurts.

  11. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 15, 2022 at 12:18 am | #

    This is hard but it might also be one of the things that helps – Amber knows that despite how complicated her feelings could be, she cared about Mike, he cared about her and he knows she cared.

  12. Fart Captor
    Fart Captor
    January 15, 2022 at 12:18 am | #

    …and then Mike died again 😥

  13. Nayann Martinelli
    Nayann Martinelli
    January 15, 2022 at 12:19 am | #

    Grief is a terrible thing to go through, but being stuck in it can really mess up a person, as I have unfortunately seen it happen more than once

    • Sam
      Sam
      January 15, 2022 at 1:26 am | #

      I haven’t seen it personally, but after reading AITA threads on reddit, some people in grief literally turn into monsters.

      Saddest comment I read was one by a therapist about how a client had a house full pictures of her dead daughter and mentioned her loss within minutes. There were none of her still very much alive daughter that also still existed.

      • Fay
        Fay
        January 15, 2022 at 1:47 am | #

        I feel like oftentimes grief can accentuate the worst aspects of someone’s personality. It can be a lot harder control your negative behaviors when you’re dealing with something like that. And for some people, it’s definitely a way to excuse like any negative behavior.

        • Sam
          Sam
          January 15, 2022 at 11:12 am | #

          I tend to process very quickly compared to most people so it is absolutely wild to me when someone is like ‘AITA for [insert behaviour that is absolutely an inappropriate unhealthy expression of grief that they are not entitled to do or a request that is unreasonable to ask]’ and then a comment reveals it didn’t happen recently or even in the last decade but something like 26 years ago.

          Some people get stuck in the identity of being unhappy about a loss. And that is it. Their identity becomes ‘unhappy about loss of X’. And they don’t choose to take steps to be happy again or process to live with the moments of pain without being consumed by it or pay any attention to the still alive people around them. What was once a feeling becomes a permanent embodied identity of who they are and it is so weird to me.

          • zee
            zee
            January 15, 2022 at 12:07 pm | #

            There’s actually a diagnosis for that. It’s called prolonged grief disorder and is a relatively recent addition to the DSM-5
            https://prolongedgrief.columbia.edu/professionals/complicated-grief-professionals/overview/

            • The Wellerman
              The Wellerman
              January 15, 2022 at 4:04 pm | #

              We all heal and grief at our own pace. Why the hell is THAT a mental disorder too?!?!?! 😡

              Seriously, at this point I suspect the DSM dipwads are disease mongering.

              • zee
                zee
                January 15, 2022 at 5:29 pm | #

                I mean if it’s consuming years of your life and greatly impairing your ability to function I’d say that’s a pretty fair point to pathologize. Either way a person suffering this greatly would need professional help, there’s nothing wrong with trying to further understand it

                • The Wellerman
                  The Wellerman
                  January 15, 2022 at 5:54 pm | #

                  I mean, I guess?

                  But what exactly is “greatly impaired ability to function” anyway?

                  Vague things like this are somehow up to the judgment of clinicians, who surprise surprise have a hell of a lot of bias.

                  Getting to the meat of it, you can’t have a concept of mental disorder, of “incorrect” functioning, without a concept of “correct” functioning. Who and in what society and context gets to determine what size fits all? Very strictly speaking, I’d reckon that determining what counts as mental “disorder” is really an exercise in power.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  January 15, 2022 at 8:24 pm | #

                  In a way, yeah. Technically, I guess that’s basically true.

                  But something’s really do mess you up. Ruth lying in bed saying dying sounded nice isn’t something to handwave off as “biased clinicians just wanting people to fit normal ideals of correct functioning”.

  14. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    January 15, 2022 at 12:19 am | #

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.

    • BubbaFett
      BubbaFett
      January 15, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

      Yeah I don’t really get all this type of ‘he meant well’ stuff or whatever.

      You are how you act, not always but mostly.

      • C.T. Phipps
        C.T. Phipps
        January 15, 2022 at 11:22 am | #

        The big revelation about Mike was the fact he THOUGHT he was a warrior therapist encouraging people to be better versions of themselves by standing up against bullies. That he was boosting them because he had a misanthropic confrontational worldview.

        When he discovered, no, it just made him a monster, he either committed suicide by Blaine or tried to do everything to stop him.

        So I think it’s interesting that Mike’s bullying was never motivated by an actual desire to HURT people.

  15. Nono
    Nono
    January 15, 2022 at 12:19 am | #

    So with Amber’s pillow, I’ve noticed she definitely has a bit of a colour scheme (blue and yellow).

    Joe has green and purples.

    Anyone else? Joyce has a lot of pastels, Sarah uses quite a bit of purple, and obviously Dina has a bunch of green.

    • Rotunda
      Rotunda
      January 15, 2022 at 12:28 am | #

      Ruth has dark blue as a Maple Leafs fan.

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        January 15, 2022 at 12:56 am | #

        And also being deeply depressed. But that might have something to do with being a Maple Leafs fan.

        She’ll blame the blue on the team rather than the depression, though.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      January 15, 2022 at 1:28 am | #

      Dorothy likes purple.

    • Fay
      Fay
      January 15, 2022 at 2:51 am | #

      Joyce also often has the blue/orange combo, Carla really likes red and pink, and Danny usually wears blues and grays.

    • Inbar Fink
      Inbar Fink
      January 15, 2022 at 8:39 am | #

      Jennifer tends to wear a lot of yellow, especially paired with black or a very dark blue. IIRC that was also the color of her highschool cheerleader outfit.

    • zee
      zee
      January 15, 2022 at 12:11 pm | #

      Willis pointed out a few years ago that amber tends to wear amazi girls colors. Billie also wore blue and yellow bc Go Dragons! Joyce tends to dress thematically to her emotions for the story; red sweaters in the first post toe dad arc when she was still very angry, black and white now when she’s seeing and treating things in a very black and white way.

  16. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    January 15, 2022 at 12:22 am | #

    Exorcism.

  17. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    January 15, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

    I know too many breakup songs.
    Be glad I missed the “dead teenager” trend in pop music.

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      January 15, 2022 at 12:40 am | #

      It’s not quite a break up song, but I think Bleach’s “Creeping Shadows” would go perfect with this.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        January 15, 2022 at 1:16 am | #

        There’s always “The Breakup Song” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLFfSDEA26o

        • Pilgrim
          Pilgrim
          January 15, 2022 at 7:11 am | #

          Weird Al is the primary reason anyone remembers the Greg Kihn band. Is being a two song wonder twice as good as being a one song wonder?

          Not that I’m knocking it as I’m a no song wonder.

    • butting
      butting
      January 15, 2022 at 1:11 am | #

      Wash your mouth out! Tony Robinson on a Sinclair C5 as The Electric Leader of the Pack was a classic.

      • Pilgrim
        Pilgrim
        January 15, 2022 at 7:20 am | #

        How about Jimmy Cross’ I want my baby back the song that killed the entire genre with malice aforethought
        .
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0x8S1U7O3w

  18. Merle
    Merle
    January 15, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

    Mike 🙁

  19. EpochFlame
    EpochFlame
    January 15, 2022 at 12:24 am | #

    Goodbye, Mike. You’ll be missed.

  20. Imogen
    Imogen
    January 15, 2022 at 12:28 am | #

    This is the first comic in which I’ve really appreciated Mike as a character. Goodbye, Mike.

  21. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    January 15, 2022 at 12:32 am | #

    This is obviously a summation of Mike’s character and it makes me ask if Mike’s one major good made up for all the times he hurt people intentionally or otherwise. Mike did some real damage to people (in Joe’s case quite literally) and he didn’t have the opportunity to die for them. Even Amber and Ethan hold damage from knowing Mike in ways they probably don’t even realize he had a hand in. Is it all okay now that he’s dead?

    • Zatar
      Zatar
      January 15, 2022 at 12:38 am | #

      I would say no. I think that Mike was moving to a place were he might have grown and been able to do good but then he died doing one good and that’s the tragedy of his character.

    • Ereb
      Ereb
      January 15, 2022 at 1:03 am | #

      Eh, if you go by the overall good, it’s not his death but the fact that Ambers’ dad was stopped that did any good.

      The trauma of Mike dying on them hurt most of the characters in the cast worse than his asshole deeds.
      Your question would be relevant if we speculated on whether Mike’s existence as a whole did more good than bad.

    • Fart Captor
      Fart Captor
      January 15, 2022 at 2:52 am | #

      It doesn’t. But it DOES at least make it clear that Mike really did care and that Amber mattered to him, even if he was an incredibly shitty friend who often made her feel like shit. Amber’s feelings are no doubt even more complicated as a result

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 15, 2022 at 1:31 pm | #

        ^ this. Maybe they could have built something better after Mike’s revelation but they’ll never get to do that now because Mike died. That’s tragic and inevitably going to colour her thoughts for at least some time.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 15, 2022 at 9:05 am | #

      Likely not, which is why I would’ve preferred that Mike didn’t die so he could’ve had a chance to try to make things up with at least some of the people he hurt.

    • thumb
      thumb
      January 15, 2022 at 10:15 am | #

      I’d say the point of this strip is that there’s no “making it okay”. These were a bunch of aspects of their relationship and now he’s gone. That’s it. There is no point or goal or arc to it. And it’s okay to miss him. He didn’t have to be a good guy to be a friend, or to be missed.

  22. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    January 15, 2022 at 12:34 am | #

    My only hope is Mike stopping have power in Amber’s life.

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      January 15, 2022 at 12:36 am | #

      It’s like an old band-aid, I guess.

  23. Dark
    Dark
    January 15, 2022 at 12:43 am | #

    This would be better if I didn’t know that Ghost-Mike is just a PTSD-induced hallucination of Amber’s and that she’s just claiming that Mike was as friendless as she is, with little actual basis for that thought.

    But I do know that. So…

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      January 15, 2022 at 12:51 am | #

      I heard Tibetan Buddhists did something really similar with something they called the “mind form”; I don’t know the details, but it has been alluded to several times in anime like DBZ and Avatar.

      Who knows? She might just turn lemons into lemonade.

      • Shadowsnail
        Shadowsnail
        January 15, 2022 at 11:21 am | #

        When life gives you Mike, make Mike fluid.
        (It’s what your mom did.)

    • Awaiting Moderation
      Awaiting Moderation
      January 15, 2022 at 12:51 am | #

      As somebody who liked Mike way more than most people seem to, I can safely say there is a lot of basis for the idea that he doesn’t have a lot of friends. So much basis.

    • Seventh-Sandwich
      Seventh-Sandwich
      January 15, 2022 at 12:53 am | #

      I’m pretty sure anyone who even vaguely knew Mike would know that making friends isn’t exactly his specialty.

      • Rani
        Rani
        January 15, 2022 at 1:00 am | #

        He seduced a football player into catfishing a teacher he wanted destroyed. Making friends is his bender art.

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          January 15, 2022 at 1:29 am | #

          He also seemed to jump into casual sex with Eric (Finger guns guy) very easily so I don’t think he had a problem making friends, but just chose not to, and it’s also hard to classify who he considered friends besides Ethan and Amber since he treated them both equally awful most times.

          • Devin
            Devin
            January 15, 2022 at 2:08 pm | #

            He definitely had no trouble getting other people to associate with him in ways he wanted them to, but I don’t think we ever actually witnessed him opening up or making himself vulnerable in a way that would imply friendship going the other way.

            This is not to excuse anything, just an observation.

          • Jamie
            Jamie
            January 15, 2022 at 6:06 pm | #

            What Devin said. Please don’t conflate “can get people to do what he wants” with “has friends”.

            I also think that comparing his behavior with Ethan and his behavior with Amber to figure out “is/isn’t friends” is also wrong since everyone explicitly agrees they’re *both* friends. You’d want to compare his behavior with Ethan to his behavior with Eric, or Danny, or Joe, or whoever.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              January 15, 2022 at 8:26 pm | #

              But remember that even Ethan said he was only maybe 50% sure they were friends.

    • Inbar Fink
      Inbar Fink
      January 15, 2022 at 8:51 am | #

      Well, Mike’s last words were “You were good friends. My best friends”, so I think there’s some basis to Amber’s-subconcious-manifesting-as-Mike’s claim.
      Mike certainly had the charisma, confidence and social skills to make friends (especially when compared to Ethan and Amber), but he purposefully kept the world at arm’s length by being a huge asshole. It’s not that much of a reach to consider Amber and Ethan to be those he was closest to.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        January 15, 2022 at 9:26 pm | #

        …dang, now that you bring that up, Brain!Mike saying Amber was one of his only friends feels like Amber’s low self-esteem can’t comprehend anyone considering her one of their best friends unless it was purely by default.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 15, 2022 at 9:06 am | #

      I doubt someone who was a huge jerk to most people like Mike would’ve had a lot of friends.

    • thumb
      thumb
      January 15, 2022 at 10:12 am | #

      Or she’s acknowledging that Mike was also a lonely kid rather than some implacable force of assholishness. The sort of clarity you rarely get about other people before their story is done. She takes that in and what they were to each other, and then she can understand the whole of it. It’s a painfully real thing.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 15, 2022 at 1:26 pm | #

        I’d hesitate to suggest that Amber now has clarity on Mike. Or that him dying leaves her with any great insight into him.

        She’s certainly got a huge filter of guilt that she’s viewing this through and that’s likely to skew anything she thinks.

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      January 15, 2022 at 11:24 am | #

      Well we know Amber and Mike are both products of the God-Willis’ mind so yes, it can be that he is actually speaking to her.

  24. Twig
    Twig
    January 15, 2022 at 12:51 am | #

    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  25. Straximus
    Straximus
    January 15, 2022 at 12:52 am | #

    I love that Mike has no shadow.

  26. Tsa
    Tsa
    January 15, 2022 at 12:57 am | #

    In general I’m able to keep Walkyverse and Dumbiverse separate in my mind, but this one, man… this one hits hard, knowing they’re married in another timeline.

    • Audkitten
      Audkitten
      January 15, 2022 at 2:33 am | #

      That’s what I’ve been feeling too.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      January 15, 2022 at 2:35 am | #

      YEP

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 15, 2022 at 4:32 am | #

      [Scruffy the janitor]

      Second.

    • Andi
      Andi
      January 15, 2022 at 8:33 am | #

      100%

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 15, 2022 at 1:33 pm | #

      DON’T REMIND ME I’M FRAGILE.

  27. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    January 15, 2022 at 12:57 am | #

    I was sort of hoping Brain Mike would stick around, just because it occurred to me that he was DoA’s version of Mike and Amber getting married in the Walkyverse. Oh well, they’re teenagers, those relationships don’t last very long anyway.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      January 15, 2022 at 7:19 am | #

      I came here to say that seeing them on the bed together in this strip is the least good way to bring back some really great Shortpacked! memories.

  28. OBBWG
    OBBWG
    January 15, 2022 at 12:58 am | #

    What a coincidence (really)! Mike and Wilbur (Mary Worth) gone in the same week both with a good chance of coming back to totally mess up a character’s life.

    I feel like I did when I witnessed the Barney the Dinosaur balloon deflate during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. Happy to see it, crowd cheering, but you know he’ll be back.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      January 15, 2022 at 1:50 am | #

      I’m so into Mary Worth right now, courtesy of Willis’s Twitter.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 15, 2022 at 4:39 am | #

        So what do you think happens next?

        – Wilbur’s fish food

        – Wilbur’s been treading water this entire time, somehow

        – The ocean exhibits sentience like in Moana, throws Wilbur back on the ship and flips him off before receding

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      January 15, 2022 at 1:57 am | #

      I don’t know if I’d rate Mike’s chances of ever coming back as “good”, unless we’re talking like in a dream or something.

      • Fay
        Fay
        January 15, 2022 at 2:56 am | #

        That or as a side character in a flashback sequence. His main story seems over and done with, though.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          January 15, 2022 at 4:20 am | #

          Yeah, with Willis in the comments above nixing what I thought was an impending future appearance of brain-Mike by saying that it’d already happened, this does seem like it could be a series wrap for the character as a whole.

  29. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    January 15, 2022 at 1:03 am | #

    Why are we abandoning the word “few”? Why are we forgetting that “only” is an adjective form of “one”? That it means “alone in a category, making up a category of one”?

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      January 15, 2022 at 1:35 am | #

      Well said. “One of the only” gets on my nerves.

      • Clif
        Clif
        January 15, 2022 at 3:17 am | #

        It’s short for one of the only ones.

        Ones is a perfectly good English word on account of English is weird.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          January 15, 2022 at 6:55 am | #

          “Only ones” is not a good phrase because “only” pretty much means singular, and ought not to qualify a plural noun. Use “one of the few”.

          • Clif
            Clif
            January 16, 2022 at 3:26 am | #

            I’d quibble about it, but we’re the only ones who care.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      January 15, 2022 at 1:53 am | #

      Nonono, OBVIOUSLY Amber had unrequited lust for him and Mike (being Mike) knew that, so he friend-zoned her JUST to be an asshole (as opposed to, say, not liking her or being opposed to sex with her in principle), and now he’s mocking her by pointing out they were ONLY friends. It’s the only way of parsing that sentence that makes sense!

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 15, 2022 at 4:40 am | #

      It’s a perfectly cromulent turn of phrase.

      • Spriteless Auntie
        Spriteless Auntie
        January 15, 2022 at 8:25 am | #

        You calling my mom fat? Thems fighting words!

    • Ldot
      Ldot
      January 15, 2022 at 10:44 am | #

      I agree that “one of my only friends” sounds a little grammatically weird, but I also think it sounds a lot more poignant than “you were one of my few friends”. So, personally, I’d consider it a case of artistic license. Still, I’m not that young anymore, so maybe my feeling for what’s grammatically correct isn’t up to date with the Youths’.

  30. Dana
    Dana
    January 15, 2022 at 1:12 am | #

    Mike went and Starbucked.

  31. Joshua Hollis Wright
    Joshua Hollis Wright
    January 15, 2022 at 2:39 am | #

    I really like how ‘mind figment’ Mike doesn’t have the same sort of shading as the rest of the room. The light simply isn’t hitting him.

  32. StClair
    StClair
    January 15, 2022 at 2:40 am | #

    “You won’t be forgotten.”

  33. StClair
    StClair
    January 15, 2022 at 2:41 am | #

    (and that was meant to be a response to Dana. ah well.)

  34. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    January 15, 2022 at 3:04 am | #

    HOORAY! HE’S GONE!!!! Joe has do a great job. He’s a great stepbrother ♡.

  35. 0kami
    0kami
    January 15, 2022 at 3:33 am | #

    Bye, buddy. 🙁

  36. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    January 15, 2022 at 4:18 am | #

    Is this the last we’ll ever see of Brain!Mike?

    Or did he just vanish to mess with her again?

    Who will he haunt next?

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      January 15, 2022 at 4:21 am | #

      Anyone with a nickel.

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        January 15, 2022 at 7:21 am | #

        Anyone who’ll take a nickel

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          January 15, 2022 at 9:53 am | #

          Or anyone who’ll offer one, the terms were never exactly clear.

    • Eyebrow
      Eyebrow
      January 15, 2022 at 1:06 pm | #

      I have to assume that “I’ll leave you a phantom” is about more than the appearance of the song. This is Mike’s swansong and it’s sung by Sal and Danny.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 15, 2022 at 5:04 pm | #

        Oh snap I didn’t make that connection…

  37. Arch
    Arch
    January 15, 2022 at 4:28 am | #

    Inb4 first panel of next comic has Mike reappear and be like, “Nah, I’m just fucking with you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  38. RacingTurtle
    RacingTurtle
    January 15, 2022 at 4:31 am | #

    *cries*

  39. Queezle
    Queezle
    January 15, 2022 at 4:32 am | #

    So yesterday was just a warning shot and the real attack on my feelings is today. Should have seen that coming.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 15, 2022 at 4:41 am | #

      Just when you think he’s done, Willis twists the phone.

  40. Anon A Mouse
    Anon A Mouse
    January 15, 2022 at 4:56 am | #

    Thank GOD this might actually be the end if Mike in the comic. Killing him didn’t stop him, maybe resolution will.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      January 15, 2022 at 6:08 am | #

      Nah, now Joe’s gonna start hallucinating him.

      What? He promised!

  41. cbwroses
    cbwroses
    January 15, 2022 at 5:38 am | #

    See ya, space @sshole.

    • The Wellerman
      The Wellerman
      January 15, 2022 at 5:40 am | #

      🥲 that was beautiful

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      January 15, 2022 at 5:50 am | #

      You’re gonna carry that weight.

      • cbwroses
        cbwroses
        January 15, 2022 at 6:01 am | #

        Been awhile since I watched Bebop.
        I knew that phrase had meaning when you wrote it.
        So I did a search for it using Bing (yes, I use Bing), and a YouTube video came up.
        Now my head canon has this playing in Mike’s head when he tackled that sorry excuse for a father:
        https://youtu.be/rDZKTrhLRdU

        • StClair
          StClair
          January 15, 2022 at 2:26 pm | #

          If only there’d been a stained glass window.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 15, 2022 at 7:16 pm | #

        A long time.

  42. Mr.Morningstar
    Mr.Morningstar
    January 15, 2022 at 6:45 am | #

    Gotta say, i love the detail that even though Amber is making creases on the bed while mike isn’t.

    It doesn’t look right, which mean it looks perfect since he isn’t there, she’s just having a very lucid (and self aware) hallucination.

  43. Plaaaa
    Plaaaa
    January 15, 2022 at 6:46 am | #

    Either you miss them or you hit them

  44. Ron
    Ron
    January 15, 2022 at 6:46 am | #

    Bye, Mike.

  45. Garnakan
    Garnakan
    January 15, 2022 at 6:51 am | #

    Bye Mike
    (Unless its someone elses turn to face their losses)

    You will be missed

    • Spriteless Auntie
      Spriteless Auntie
      January 15, 2022 at 8:28 am | #

      Scene change to emo emanciated Ethan.

  46. nightshade
    nightshade
    January 15, 2022 at 7:30 am | #

    awww I know how this feels and it sucks……

  47. Spencer
    Spencer
    January 15, 2022 at 7:35 am | #

    This is so sad. Alexa, play Baka Mitai.

    • AGV
      AGV
      January 15, 2022 at 10:01 am | #

      Oddly fitting

  48. Beau Kirin Maysey
    Beau Kirin Maysey
    January 15, 2022 at 9:01 am | #

    like an asshole, just drops another bomb and VANISHES, maybe FOREVER now. Ugghhh, Mike, you’re the worst, come baaaccckkkk

  49. Eric
    Eric
    January 15, 2022 at 10:01 am | #

    ACTUALLY sad.

  50. AGV
    AGV
    January 15, 2022 at 10:18 am | #

    Man, what’s with douchebags making me cry when they being good for once actually kills them

    First it was Harry in Spiderman 3, then Shadow Weaver in She-ra and now Mike

  51. Decidedly Orthogonal
    Decidedly Orthogonal
    January 15, 2022 at 10:50 am | #

    As a non-tweeter, I can’t comment there, but your

    Optimus Prime van Damme is sweet!

    Or is it Jean Claude van Prime?

  52. deathpigeon
    deathpigeon
    January 15, 2022 at 11:07 am | #

    Even as an introject he’s an asshole.

  53. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    January 15, 2022 at 11:26 am | #

    The difference between Mike and Blaine was that Mike realized he’d horrifically mishandled his relationship to Amber and tried to make amends.

    Which is the problem because that actually makes it worse: because it lets Ethan and Amber know he WASN’T just a toxic person they could completely write off but someone who loved them.

    • Axel_Grease
      Axel_Grease
      January 15, 2022 at 12:56 pm | #

      I never much liked Mike but I could see his relationship with Ethan and Amber was complex.

  54. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    January 15, 2022 at 12:06 pm | #

    wow damn

  55. chuckroast
    chuckroast
    January 15, 2022 at 12:37 pm | #

    I once again wish every single Amber a very therapy.

  56. Puppet Pal Mitch
    Puppet Pal Mitch
    January 15, 2022 at 12:41 pm | #

    Mike was my favorite character by far, even though he wasn’t as fleshed out as some of the others. This gives him a bit more depth, even though he’s an ethereal being at best now.
    So, who is the resident a-hole now? Carla?

  57. jdorr
    jdorr
    January 15, 2022 at 2:29 pm | #

    Well thanks, it wasn’t like I was using those emotions or anything

  58. Izzy
    Izzy
    January 15, 2022 at 2:43 pm | #

    oh man this is getting to me. I had a friend who died in college (well, I was in college, she wasn’t). It happened when I was 18 so it felt like the world was telling me “welcome to adult life!” in the worst way possible. She was also one of my only friends, even though I hadn’t talked to her in months. I’m still not sure if I can ever make friends again. (sorry for being depressing! I do love this storyline even as it’s destroying me)

  59. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    January 15, 2022 at 3:40 pm | #

    Looks like Amber is finally on the road to recovery. It is fine to miss someone, even if that someone was a toxic bag of sh*t. For better, or for worse (hint, mostly for worse), Mike was in a significant portion of Amber’s life, her high school years. He was there for her, when she was down, just to kick her, mind you, but never the less. Amber admitting that she misses him, is the first step in letting him go, so that she can finally move on.

  60. Roe
    Roe
    January 15, 2022 at 4:31 pm | #

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO [ face made by actor Aaron Paul playing Tobey Marshall, in the 2014 film adaptation of the game franchise Need for Speed. ]

  61. raker
    raker
    January 15, 2022 at 5:18 pm | #

    DAMN you, Willis.

  62. JasonAW3
    JasonAW3
    January 15, 2022 at 7:40 pm | #

    No matter how big an @$$hole he was, I still miss Mike…

  63. Bryy
    Bryy
    January 16, 2022 at 2:17 am | #

    RE: the alt text

    Damn, Willis. Bravo.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it! also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
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one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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help I had a big yawny stretch after I got into bed and threw out my back
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Dumbing of Age: "Dotty" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
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fuck off
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hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
tastefully cropped art of joe and joyce discovering the joys of fingers
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
I may have to pin this
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
#relatable
header image - a man in a hospital gown says
media.tenor.com
a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
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reposted by David M Willis!
osmote.net's user avatar
OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 1d
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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reposted by David M Willis!
joshuajfriedman.com's user avatar
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 2d
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
www.dumbingofage.com
Up, continued
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reposted by David M Willis!
theonion.com's user avatar
The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 2d
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
theonion.com
You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
GOTTEM
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reposted by David M Willis!
parsnip.bsky.social's user avatar
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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reposted by David M Willis!
aubreygilleran.bsky.social's user avatar
Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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reposted by David M Willis!
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Up" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic #dofa
www.dumbingofage.com
Up
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Fuck you, Clayface!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
header image - Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Menace Level: up to date on his vaccinations
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned Gran is back from the grave so she can jerk it to furry porn with her daughter
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