Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Emotionally

by David M Willis on March 5, 2022 at 12:01 am
  • 03 – Trial and Sarah
└ Tags: amber, ethan

Discussion (88) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    March 5, 2022 at 12:05 am | #

    TECHNICALLY she just asked if he minded

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      March 5, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

      Hey he asked for silence. No comments! Shh….

      • Clif
        Clif
        March 5, 2022 at 12:36 am | #

        Good luck with that.

        • Decidedly Orthogonal
          Decidedly Orthogonal
          March 5, 2022 at 12:53 am | #

          Let me be the first to stand up and say loudly, and proudly, that I stand in solidarity and silence with Emothan.

  2. Mr D
    Mr D
    March 5, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    Amber being asked to not be social? Oh no, how will she cope

    • Clif
      Clif
      March 5, 2022 at 12:37 am | #

      About as well as usual?

      • Tan
        Tan
        March 5, 2022 at 5:21 am | #

        And that’s how the school burned down.

        • Casi
          Casi
          March 5, 2022 at 7:56 am | #

          It was just the student union.

  3. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    March 5, 2022 at 12:06 am | #

    I mean Amber’s never been very emotionally available so she really isn’t apologizing for much.

    • Clif
      Clif
      March 5, 2022 at 12:45 am | #

      They were each other’s only friends except for Mike. And Mike was Mike.

      But if she was never very emotionally available for Ethan, then technically she was apologizing for a lot.

    • Queezle
      Queezle
      March 5, 2022 at 4:53 am | #

      that is not entirely fair. We have not seen it, because it did not happen in comic, but we have been told that she supported Ethan a lot when he came out to his parents.

      • Sam
        Sam
        March 5, 2022 at 9:44 am | #

        She has never been ‘completely unavailable’, she just hasn’t been ‘completely present’ either. Which isn’t fully her fault since she’s had a lot more severe mental stuff going on. And Ethan hasn’t really gone to her when worried about her or when stuff has been going on with him.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          March 5, 2022 at 10:33 am | #

          Well, that’s kinda the problem.

          Ethan has bad shit of his own, but he doesn’t really know how to reach out to people because his first instinct is to take care of everyone else. With Amber specifically, they’re kinda caught in a loop of Amber having a problem, Ethan gently assuring her that nothing is wrong, and then Amber spiraling even harder because she’s not constructively dealing with her feelings and feels undeserving of Ethan’s kindness.

          Ethan has spent so much time playing caretaker that I don’t think he really knows how to ask for help.

    • Wereg
      Wereg
      March 5, 2022 at 11:13 am | #

      You’re right, but I think she still gets some points for this. I’ll rag on Amber a lot, because she has a lot to get dunked on for, but “I’m sorry I haven’t been more emotionally available” is a pretty good and honest apology in my books.

  4. Nono
    Nono
    March 5, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    Well, time for Amber to finally learn ASL.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      March 5, 2022 at 12:09 am | #

      Marcie is apparently not a half-bad teacher.

      • Clif
        Clif
        March 5, 2022 at 12:52 am | #

        Which half?

  5. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    March 5, 2022 at 12:08 am | #

    I don’t know what that face on the last panel is supposed to indicate. And Amber you did say in silence. 😛 Try messaging him instead.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      March 5, 2022 at 12:10 am | #

      Personally see that as a kind of “well I tried” shrug of acceptance. If Ethan doesn’t want to hear her apology, then she won’t force it.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      March 5, 2022 at 12:20 am | #

      I thought she’d said her piece, and was just taking the opportunity to enjoy being near each other in silence.

      • Clif
        Clif
        March 5, 2022 at 12:48 am | #

        I took it as a challenge accepted face.

    • two-star
      two-star
      March 5, 2022 at 12:53 am | #

      I think that’s a “composing a text” face.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        March 5, 2022 at 9:49 am | #

        I see it as “prepping herself to be uncharacteristically social in a way Emothan won’t like”.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      March 5, 2022 at 9:54 am | #

      I’m not sure what that face means either.

  6. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    March 5, 2022 at 12:11 am | #

    Just then Ethan and Amber noticed a bunch of tally marks on their bodies that weren’t there a moment earlier.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      March 5, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

      **Captain America Meme**
      “I get that reference.”

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 5, 2022 at 12:23 am | #

        I don’t. What obscure nonsense is this?

        • Clif
          Clif
          March 5, 2022 at 12:50 am | #

          It works better as a ‘the Silence’ reference anyway.

        • LynziGraye
          LynziGraye
          March 5, 2022 at 12:51 am | #

          I almost fell for that. Well played!

    • Jeremy Betts
      Jeremy Betts
      March 5, 2022 at 12:14 am | #

      Ha I get that reference.
      Except they might not know what it’s for O.O

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      March 5, 2022 at 3:47 am | #

      Hey, who turned out the lights?

      • Lieutenant Dan
        Lieutenant Dan
        March 5, 2022 at 10:19 am | #

        Silence in the Library Cafeteria

  7. The Wellerman
    The Wellerman
    March 5, 2022 at 12:16 am | #

    So much Amber…

    I feel like I’m trapped in Amber!!! 🤪

    You know what else gets trapped in amber?

    Here’s a hint: 🧬

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      March 5, 2022 at 12:22 am | #

      Mosquitos that survive perfectly intact from millions of years ago, that hold a treasure trove of ancient dinosaur DNA so you can build a poorly secured, and not well thought out theme park of genetically engineered and likely highly inaccurate monsters that can breed in the wild thanks to splicing them with frog genes?

      • Clif
        Clif
        March 5, 2022 at 12:35 am | #

        Compare back breeding chickens into classic dinosaurs. Either way, if we want them to be viable in todays ecosystems, they’ll need to be somewhat inaccurate.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      March 5, 2022 at 2:11 am | #

      Definitely not dino DNA, that stuff has a half life of like 500 years (literally several orders of magnitude less than what’d be needed to revive the non-avian dinosaurs).

      But perfectly preserved dinosaur tails caught in amber, on the other hand…

      • milu
        milu
        March 5, 2022 at 5:34 am | #

        yeah, mesozoic DNA is lost forever.

        Last year the record for earliest DNA recovered was pushed back to over a million years ago. Still impressive but nowhere near the 66 million years separating us from the last non avian dinosaurs.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          March 5, 2022 at 1:00 pm | #

          Impressive indeed, considering that that’d be roughly 2,000 DNA half-lives (for scale, after just 10% of that elapsed time, 200 half-lives, only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000062230152778611% of the original would be left…now throw in about 1,800 additional half-lives to get to the time of that mammoth DNA). And yeah, end-Cretaceous DNA would require survival for an impossible minimum of around 130,000 DNA half-lives—that’s not even what’d be needed for mid-Cretaceous or gods forbid, Jurassic/Triassic DNA.

          • King Daniel
            King Daniel
            March 5, 2022 at 1:16 pm | #

            (In short, there’s a reason “twenty half-lives” is often used as a baseline for when a sample becomes all but unrecognizable; by that point, you have less than 0.0001% of the original sample remaining. In DNA’s case, that twenty-half-life baseline on a good day would barely stretch back to the beginning of the Holocene. Even Pliocenic DNA would be several times over the age of that mammoth DNA milu linked above…)

            • milu
              milu
              March 5, 2022 at 3:56 pm | #

              i’m not versed in physics/chemistry enough to understand what the half-life of DNA means. are we talking atomic disintegration? like radioactive elements? or does it refer to the resilience of the molecular bonds? does this measure depend on the environment at all (like temperature)?

              in the article i linked to, researchers explained that they were only able to recover DNA this old because the mammoth had remained mummified inside permafrost the whole time, and even then they could only find a bunch of tiny fragments which they reconstructed jigsaw-style using a modern elephant genome for reference.

              they note that, at the absolute most, the oldest DNA we could ever hope to find is 2,6 myo because that’s when the earliest permafrost formed.

              • King Daniel
                King Daniel
                March 5, 2022 at 6:23 pm | #

                As I understand it, the DNA breakdown rate—its half-life—is essentially the speed at which its molecules break apart from each other, yeah. Warmer temperatures and the presence of liquid water help accelerate this process, which is why the mammoth in the article (frozen in permafrost) was able to last as long as it did, even in its heavily-degraded form as was noted. The previous record-holder was a 700,000-year-old horse also frozen in permafrost, and a 130,000-year-old polar bear before that—all likewise preserved in permafrost.

                Apparently the oldest DNA theoretically survivable in any significantly-reconstitutable/readable form (assuming ideal temperatures a little below freezing, and minimal presence of liquid water) could be up to 1.5myo, so that million-year-old mammoth DNA was definitely pushing the edges of what’s even possible…and dino-DNA is certainly altogether out of the picture (as even “unrecognizable” DNA, theoretically-speaking, would be entirely gone in less than 7 million years even given ideal conditions for preservation).

                • milu
                  milu
                  March 5, 2022 at 7:10 pm | #

                  wow =) thanks for the deep dive. yeah, i’ve heard the 1.5 mya figure before, i’m excited to see if that is eventually pushed back by advances in genomics, either theoretical (better AI-assisted reconstruction?) or technical…

                  and while it might be disappointing that we’ll never get dinosaur DNA, i think it’s worth noting that DNA is not the blueprint that pop science/scifi would have us think of it as. To name just one thing DNA wouldn’t bring back: dinosaur gut microbiome. Will the baby dinos survive their first meal in a world many million years worth of microbial, viral, and plant evolution down the line? I really wish we’d knock DNA from its pedestal. We are not our chromosomes, no more than a book is the family tree of its author.

  8. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    March 5, 2022 at 12:16 am | #

    *plays Deep Purple’s “Hush” on the hacked Muzak*

    • DaveM
      DaveM
      March 5, 2022 at 12:34 am | #

      As an Aussie, replaces it with Russell Morris’s earlier (and IMHO superior) version.

      • woobie
        woobie
        March 5, 2022 at 2:51 am | #

        well now I have to find that.

        • DaveM
          DaveM
          March 5, 2022 at 6:17 am | #

          It was the only hit for the band “Somebody’s Image” with him on lead vocals.

    • bemisawa
      bemisawa
      March 5, 2022 at 2:50 am | #

      See, you clearly said “Hush”, but for some reason my brain replaced it with “Smoke on the Water”. Apparently, my brain believes in spite of all evidence that’s the only song they ever performed.

      • woobie
        woobie
        March 5, 2022 at 2:52 am | #

        Not even Highway Star?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        March 5, 2022 at 4:55 pm | #

        Smoke on the Water is the only time Zappa ever gets any attention on the radio. That’s a shame, but also entirely understandable.

    • milu
      milu
      March 5, 2022 at 5:36 am | #

      *cues up “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt*

  9. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    March 5, 2022 at 12:16 am | #

    Amber just needs to give it space.

    Ethan: Not a lot of people know what it feels like to be angry, in your bones. I mean, they understand, foster parents, everybody understands, for awhile. Then they want the angry little kid to do something he knows he can’t do, move on.

    Amber: Are you quoting the Dark Knight Rises?

    Ethan: HE WASN’T DICK GRAYSON! THE MOVIE’S ENDING MAKES NO SENSE!

  10. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 5, 2022 at 12:16 am | #

    Unfortunately he didn’t say anything about using telepathy.

  11. BBCC
    BBCC
    March 5, 2022 at 12:22 am | #

    Hey, silence together is still progress, right, Amber?

  12. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    March 5, 2022 at 12:59 am | #

    I’m glad she came out and said it. I wonder if he’s brushing it off, or if he’s just not ready/willing to be vulnerable right now. This does seem less… hostile… than some of their past conversations.

    • Zuzi
      Zuzi
      March 5, 2022 at 2:02 am | #

      To be fair to the both of them, the last time they did interact Amber was trying to push people away by being incredibly horny and talking to him about Danny. Who, while I do think he’s an overall decent guy, is on Ethan’s shit list for a valid reason
      I actually wonder if he’s talked to Amber about what Danny said outside of Mike’s hospital room…

    • Fay
      Fay
      March 5, 2022 at 2:38 am | #

      I think Ethan really wants company right now, but he also can’t really trust that Amber is going to be a good friend yet.
      I hope she just shows she can be a chill friend in the mean time.

  13. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    March 5, 2022 at 1:43 am | #

    So, what’s Ethan doing out in this harried throng of oversharing extraverts? Does Jacob need private use of their room?

    • anonymsly
      anonymsly
      March 5, 2022 at 1:53 am | #

      Sometimes the best way to be alone is in a crowded place, I’ve found. If I’m sitting in a food court with my iPad, no one bothers me at all. If I hole up in my home without speaking to anyone, I get a LOT of well-meaning trying to cheer me ip or whatever.

      Plus, if I go do public-space solitude, no one can accuse me of hermiting. Because I went out, didn’t I?

  14. Hazel
    Hazel
    March 5, 2022 at 1:48 am | #

    Honestly fair.

  15. Kirtro
    Kirtro
    March 5, 2022 at 1:55 am | #

    Oh hey, it just occurred to me that flipping someone off is completely silent….. wonder what is making me think that?

  16. Darkoneko
    Darkoneko
    March 5, 2022 at 2:12 am | #

    Just casually hanging next to each other isn’t a bad first step tho

  17. Kim
    Kim
    March 5, 2022 at 2:22 am | #

    Can someone please explain the alt-text?
    I don’t see what a philosopher, mummy, surgeon in a trenchcoat has to do with the rest of the strip?

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      March 5, 2022 at 2:30 am | #

      Hush can also be used as a word for keeping quiet, an example being: “You kids better hush and try to sleep.”

      As for why it is the alt-text, only the great Willis knkws.

  18. Arianod
    Arianod
    March 5, 2022 at 2:57 am | #

    “Fair enough”.

  19. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    March 5, 2022 at 4:35 am | #

    Ethan twists the phone.

    • JBento
      JBento
      March 5, 2022 at 8:56 am | #

      This will never get old.

  20. Spencer
    Spencer
    March 5, 2022 at 9:23 am | #

    This is actually remarkable progress for Amber. Usually her acknowledging her faults leads to her going on superhero death marches, and instead here she’s just flatly admitting she wasn’t as good as she wanted to be.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      March 5, 2022 at 9:57 am | #

      Yeah, for Amber this is pretty good right now.

  21. Throwatron
    Throwatron
    March 5, 2022 at 11:15 am | #

    okay holy fuck you know what this completely subverted my expectations amber pls be chill for a while this is a good look

  22. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    March 5, 2022 at 12:27 pm | #

    Amber is trying. Kudos for her, but I wonder if Ethan deserves her attention.

    • Nova
      Nova
      March 5, 2022 at 1:06 pm | #

      He has been there for her through every major life issue and is now grieving one of his very best friends who died in a horrible and senseless way.

      His last interaction with Amber was her being a horny creep about someone he’s upset with (in a way that ties into the grief).

      Yeah god forbid he not just get over that because Amber finally decided to try being a friend. If you don’t think he deserves to get a little of what he’s given all these years, just because he’s not all sunshine and roses, god help anyone in your life who has a bad day.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        March 5, 2022 at 1:18 pm | #

        Likewise, though we didn’t see much of it, she was there for him to help through coming out as gay and dealing with his prejudiced family. This despite that being tied to ending their romantic relationship.

        They both have their issues, but don’t pretend this has always been a one-way friendship.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          March 5, 2022 at 1:59 pm | #

          And then she stopped talking to him because him being gay exhausted her, got pissy when Joyce took him to a meetup instead of her, and then things got bad enough that she was pretty much incapable of trying to help him with anything.

          Amber’s not a giving friend, but she hasn’t had much to give because she takes control of other peoples’ suffering to fuel her own mental health spiral, and it’s something she’s only starting to confront now.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            March 5, 2022 at 6:54 pm | #

            Seriously? “because him being gay exhausted her”?

            Don’t talk to me.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              March 5, 2022 at 6:56 pm | #

              It’s literally the line!

              https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/alwaysalways/

              • Yumi
                Yumi
                March 5, 2022 at 7:06 pm | #

                It’s the line from Ethan, which Amber objects to the next strip.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  March 5, 2022 at 7:23 pm | #

                  Amber can object and also it’s what happened, on top of needing to go be a superhero, apparently.

                  It also matters a lot that this is how Ethan put it, and then the next strip has him add that he gets it was exhausting and that’s it a lot more for him than it is her, and he never got the chance to escape it. Later that weak she broke down that he’d fake it for Joyce and not her.

                  Amber’s not an emotionally available friend, we know this because she is currently saying as much, and then the last time these two spoke Ethan real blunt-like told her that she only approaches him in a crisis, which she was doing then too.

                  Like yeah actually it’s okay to read this as a one-sided friendship and especially when the most evidence against it is something that happened off-screen that motivated them not speaking to each for like four years real time until Amber felt like it again. That’s what Amber’s facing up to right now and trying to amend.

                • Yumi
                  Yumi
                  March 5, 2022 at 7:33 pm | #

                  I, personally, do not object to reading it as a largely one-sided friendship. However, I do not see that line as 1. a good quote to pull out of context like that 2. a fair assessment of what happened from a reader standpoint.

                  Ugh. I wish this was ever worth it, but it’s just not.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  March 5, 2022 at 7:46 pm | #

                  It’s not out of context, it’s a statement by Ethan about how he felt abandoned by someone who is in this strip going “I haven’t been emotionally available.” I don’t know what a “fair assessment of what happened from a reader standpoint” means either since knowing why Amber did it (crippling self-loathing, Ethan existing as a protector figure for her since childhood, being emotionally hurt from not being able to be with him the way she wanted) doesn’t suddenly means it didn’t happen, it just means we know why it did and how it contributed to Amber’s existing problem of spiraling real hard using other peoples’ problems, particularly Ethan’s, which was something else she admitted prior to the timeskip.

                • Yumi
                  Yumi
                  March 5, 2022 at 8:06 pm | #

                  “And then she stopped talking to him”– fair! “And then she abandoned him,” even. But then there’s consideration for “Because him being gay exhausted her” vs because of other reasons, like the ones you listed.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  March 5, 2022 at 8:24 pm | #

                  Okay but “me being gay exhausted you” is the exact sentence used by the person Amber is currently admitting that she wants to be more emotionally open to, because that’s what it felt like to Ethan.

                  I didn’t even say “Because him being gay exhausted her” to mean “this is specifically why Amber abandoned him,” it was one of the multitude of reasons for why Amber, right now, is making an effort to be there for Ethan when he needs her and admitting fault for how she’s acted in the past.

  23. Tilt
    Tilt
    March 5, 2022 at 1:54 pm | #

    Where are the campus therapists and psychiatrists to help teenagers who were kidnapped and nearly murdered by a mobster? Amber should have been there for Ethan, true, but the school should absolutely be offering free counseling to students they have repeatedly failed to protect.

    • C.T. Phipps
      C.T. Phipps
      March 5, 2022 at 6:50 pm | #

      A major theme of this web comic is that Indiana U does not care.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      March 5, 2022 at 10:25 pm | #

      Walky said the school therapists aren’t very good, so I assume they’ve been.

  24. PB
    PB
    March 5, 2022 at 1:58 pm | #

    Well his brow is unfurrowed, that’s a good start

  25. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    March 5, 2022 at 4:04 pm | #

    JUST TALK YOU MOODY TEENAGER

    • StClair
      StClair
      March 5, 2022 at 9:02 pm | #

      Can’t, he’s too busy being pre-Batman.

      • The Wellerman
        The Wellerman
        March 5, 2022 at 11:59 pm | #

        Wait I’m confused wasn’t it Spider-Man 3?

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

  • Jennifer (31%, 663 Votes)
  • Danny (11%, 238 Votes)
  • Jason (8%, 179 Votes)
  • Ethan (11%, 247 Votes)
  • Amber (27%, 584 Votes)
  • Jacob (12%, 253 Votes)

Total Voters: 2,164

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  • Polls Archive
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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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