Discussion (237) ¬
[ Comments RSS ]
James Gunn @jamesgunn.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
Chris Ingraham @cingraham.bsky.social ⋅ 14d
Duncan MacMaster The Sweetheart of the Internet @duncanwriter.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
David M Willis! SPX table F2 @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
⚧️ Perfidious Josephine Riesman @josie.zone ⋅ 2d
Ron Chan | RCCC C25 @rondanchan.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Loading ...
Don Cardenas
Journalism all over her face.
I didn’t notice any ‘j-ism’ on her face.
What you did there? That joke? That was brain terrorism. And it was hilarious.
*InterKNUCKS*
What can I say? I mastered in Double Entendres with a minor in Puns.
At ol’ P-U?
No but I used to go to F.U once a week for fencing classes before my sight deteriorated too much.
Ha ha double entendre
Ha ha i ve used this joke before
double double your entendre
(I’ve used this joke before too)
For a nickel.
Now I’m thinking of the Doublemint Twins. Odd.
Ha-ha! Phil Ken Sebben reference
oh my god. you pair of magnificent bastards.
I hope she wins a “pull-izer”
you mean FACEEEEEEE!!!!!
Your mom gave me journalism for a nickle.
Don’t you mean Joe-rnalism?
“Journalism” is now a meme.
I believe the word you were looking for is euphemism.
mememism?
+1 for new portmanteau.
It’s a meme and a euphemism. But mostly euphemism.
memeception?
Euphememe.
madock345 + f.p. = memememe?
And this is my assistant, Beaker.
captainswift wins the thread!
Euphemism is now a meme?
You know, I am a Communications major. Think I have a good shot at getting into “journalism”?
Maybe, but it depends on how impressive your ‘media coverage’ is.
Here, “media coverage” means “boobies”
…and as Daisy can attest, chest windows make for improving ‘media coverage’.
Yes “media coverage” is all about revealing and getting “big scoops.”
Aaaaaaand now I want ice cream, for some reason. O_o
(Two scoops, please. And hold the nuts.)
You should never ask anyone to hold your nuts on a first date.
Poor Amber.
Poor Amber. She looks like she’s about to cry.
Poor Danny. He won’t be getting saved by Amazi-Girl any time soon.
Amber keeps making that face, and it fills my heart with sads.
Joe: Hey, baby, what’s wrong?
I’m not sure Joe’s made himself terribly sympathetic to Amber. If there’s a girl Joe *won’t* get (apart from Joyce “Violent-Reactions-to-Hanky-Panky” Brown), it’ll be Amber.
And it’s official. “Journalism” is what the kids are calling it these days.
I remember when it was called fornication.
Ah, yes. I remember fornication. Good times…
I remember when it was called sex.
the legends were truuuuuuuue
I remember when they called it bonking.
I remember when it was called “racing submarines.”
Actually, I’ve never heard anyone call it that.
I’m going to call it that now. Sounds sort of badass.
Hey, baby, wanna go racing submarines?
Actually it was “Watching the submarine races” aka a fake excuse to have your girl alone at the lake, should someone come upon you and ask.
It sounds like it would be used as a term for gay sex.
Yes it does, mainly due to all the seamen this term evokes.
Seaman inside long hard tubes that like to go in deep.
Exactamundo!
It sounds like it would be used as a term for gay sex. Maybe even an orgy.
Yeah, but only because it suffers the same problems as journalism does. It tends to be one-sided while claiming to benefit both parties, professional journalists are more likely to spread their diseased opinions than tell a good story, the kids these days are leaving expensive paper and video based journalism behind for the free trash they can get on the web and then wonder why they don’t know enough to ensure the survival of the species. And to cap it all off, super injunctions mean you can’t even tell anyone when someone is having journalism anymore…
Sounds like you’re saying that journalism is TOO GOOD a euphemism.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the good ship Danny x Amber sinks like the Titanic.
Maybe not. Just delayed for a while. If anything, a casual DannyxBillie hook-up might have just sunk the DannyxBillie ship more effectively than anything else.
It is possible, but we’ll have to see to know for sure! :3
All I’m saying is AmberxDanny isn’t completely sunk yet.
*Knocks on wood so Willis doesn’t make it a point to sink it completely *
I think the now-inevitable Billie & Joe hookup will sink the Danny & Billie ship…
Don’t count the ship sunk just yet, Dahlia.
Yeah it took 3 hours for the titanic to sink!
It depends on if Billie counts as an iceburg in this case or not.
I certainly hope not! I’m curious to see where this goes o:
O_O Wow, three hours…my gosh
And I, uh…I guess in my metaphor Billie WOULD be the iceberg…?
A bouncy 100 proof iceburg.
xD yep yep yep!
So if amber were to toss a lit match at her would she catch fire?
More likely than you think.
I guess this relationship is
B-)
“On the Rocks”.
*hehehehe*
Wait, if Danny and Amber are the Titanic, and Billie is an iceberg, are you saying that you want Danny and Amber to go down on Billie?
Because you aren’t the first.
O_O
I want to see this. SO MUCH. (starts checking paheal)
That’s what? A few weeks minimum for us?
3 hours? We’ll be old and senile before Willis gets to THREE HOURS IN THE FUTURE!
why do I get the feeling that at some point Willis will jus mind f°€# us and jump ahead a few months?
TO THE TIME-MACHINE!
Its a Time and Relative Dimension in Space machine.
That’s like two months, in this strip!
One lifeboat of the Danny x Amber ship is still afloat.
What’s black and white and read all over? THIS GUUUUY!!!!!
wompwompwomp
So the equation that Joe ranks girls with is boobs+rest of body divided by two
At least he has a system established. =P
I think I will stick with this formula:
((2Face + Body)/3)*Chemistry
you go for chicks that look like harvey dent?
This comment thread needs a “Like” button.
I just got zinged!
This must be a novel and wonderful experience for you.
It is indeed, it might even develop into a new fetish, gotta love that Rule 36.
Ah, I thought it was Rule 13. ;P
Rule 13: When all else fails, just tell them to Google It.
Rule 36: If it exists, someone has a fetish for it. No exceptions.
Rule 13: Anything you say can be turned into something else. – fixed. – fixed
Oddly enough, while trying to find this every time I searched for rule 13, I got a different rule (all of which I recognized). The others were more or less the same; only rule 13 changed. o_O
I imagine Billie getting bumped up two ranks is because her boobs are particularly exceptional(I guess?), thus making it a special case.
I’d be willing to bet his normal ranking system is very complex and completely unfathomable by the common man.
Probably involves multivariable calculus and differential equations. He is a mechanical genius in the Walkyverse, after all.
If he divided the rest of her body in two, wouldn’t she die, or at least be very upset?
there’s a king solomon joke in there.
How is he doing the scale?
boobs= ten body= six
boobs/body= 8
10/6 = 1 2/3, not 8.
I think it’s (10+6)/2.
I thought he was splitting the difference.
It’s the SAME THING.
Joe’s scale: (boobs+body)/2
I meant in general, not just for Billie. There are a couple of times I would argue with him on where they’re placed.
Good to know that Joe rates girls by averaging everything, rather than going by the lowest of all factors.
Aaaaaawkwaaard.
So is Danny just busting out into the hallway completely nude, or is it just me?
Not just you, I find this comic much funnier if I assume he is.
Journalism? Without clothes on? Yeah, have fun climbing out of the hole you’re in, Danny.
as I always say when you dig yourself into a hole just dig deeper inevitably you hit the other-side of the world and come out on top
You don’t have to have your
Clothes on,
To write a byline
Uh-huh!
Clearly he is naked cos it was a news expose.
Hey, he could say the article is on sculpting or something.
It was an in-depth, probing expose with startling revelations!
Aww man, Billie stole the spotlight for Danny’s “head” story! It was supposed to be a real hit!
Don’t you mean “top story”?
No, he was on the bottom.
Don’t cry Amber, I’m certain that he is perfectly willing to show you his ‘interviewing’ technique.
Oh, yeah! And she can take his dictation.
I just hope he can give her enough column inches to fill her full page spread.
And he’d better do his due dilligence or he’ll end up having to make an embarassing retraction.
and if that happens, he won’t be allowed on her ‘printing press’ again.
Leaving him to pursue a Pull-It-Sir all on his own.
Are you two Pungeon Masters?
I believe the more appropriate term would be pundits.
My god, you two are like an endless entendre factory.
You think the entendres are good, wait until get to the main course.
I think I’m in love.
Well.… okay. But if we’re going to
do the MenágeA3 thing I get to
be Zii.
Cheer up amber
“Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you’re chewing life’s gristle,
Don’t grumble,
Give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best.
And…
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]
If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten,
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That’s the thing.
And…
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It’s your last chance, anyhow.
So,…
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]
Life’s a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true.
You’ll see it’s all a show.
Keep ’em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And…
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.” Eric Idle
Suddenly journalism seems far more interesting than I ever realized.
Wow. Billie has become… aggressive.
Yes but soon Ruth will appear and crush Billies spirits and then she will be back to her normal alcoholic, depressed, sleep deprived state.
Okay Billie i gave you slack for having a rough week if you do Joe I will call ho
buttttt Joes is also a whore….
well there all whores….
those in this panel at least…
cept Amber
whoreswhoreswhores
Santa: HoHoHo!!
As Hacksaw Jim Duggan once said “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Well Santa does know where all the naughty girls are.
Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus: an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino-bone and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called “toys” were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators who were awoken by the searing grunts of the children. It wasn’t a holly jolly Christmas that year; for many were killed!
A warlike race of elves from the red planet landed on the ice-encased earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa ape to make his confused toys, using galactic elfin technology for Evermore Sanchianados. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like ‘train’ but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked a big way.
Thousands of years ago, the ice had made the globe unnavigable. Santa ape did not know what a north pole was. How could he? He was born before science existed, so he arbitrarily placed his workshop right here, long before they unionized, and Christmas was celebrated at each full moon in front of the great red ape.
prostitutes.
Danny’s only hope now is ritual suicide.
Couldn’t he just start with a little ritual self deprecation and see if that’s enough?
I’d suggest some ritual self-abuse, but I think he’s good for right now.
He already did some self deprecation today, and look where that…
He’s right, Danny should start with the self deprecation. Right now.
WIN
Disappointment ALL over the place.
Okay, so Amber’s going to feel slightly less special. She’ll retreat into WoW-land for a week. But Danny wasn’t really TRYING to sleep with her, he just ENDED UP doing her. He’ll explain himself, they’ll get friendlier, and all will be well.
Because freedom of choice is not an option when sex is on the table.
When its with Billie, and she’s clutching your shirt saying “I’m on top, you’re on the bottom”, I’m pretty sure there’s only one choice any guy in Danny’s position would make.
And I love how apropos my avatar is.
touchee (or however you spell it but im too lazy to look it up as aposed to typing this sentence with errors).
Well yes, there was bound to be some touching.
*twitch* It’s ‘opposed’.
Thank you.
Yes, it is totally and completely impossible for men to turn down sex if the woman initiates it.
Very astute observation.
I didn’t say it was impossible. I just know that if I was in Danny’s
position I wouldn’t have turned it down. Especially since
I think its clear to both of them (if it’s not clear to Danny yet,
it soon will be) that it was a one-time thing. And he basically doesn’t
have a particularly good reason to turn it down either. The only reason
he *might* have turned it down is if he could have predicted that Amber
would be at his front door, looking to hang out.
Actually, there are plenty of other options.
You’re assuming that the guy is not Ethan, who would refuse the opportunity.
Or Mike, who would abuse the opportunity. With your mother.
For a nickel.
I think “slightly less special” is really a failure to empathize with her. She met a dude who seems to be nice, is normal and isn’t some crazy playboy and theeen… the first time she seeks him out he’s nailed some chick.
You’re using audience knowledge to dictate how Amber should behave as opposed to reducing your knowledge to the same that she would know. Obviously if they talk, the knowledge streams will cross but she’ll still have that initial gut wrench. Logic can’t utterly obliterate emotions.
You are banned from Vulcan.
But Vulcan doesn’t exist anymore.
I think you mean Romulus. We don’t talk about the lens flare universe at this table.
R.I.P. Romulus, Never Forget
Old Spock informed Young Spock once that sometimes you need to do what “feels right”. Vulcans have emotions too; logic doesn’t get RID of them. They just use logic to make the best (read: most logical) decision.
All true.
It’s okay Amber. You still have Mike… in the Shortpacked!universe… where you’re having his baby…
D: AMBER YOU ARE BETTER THAN DANNY.
well shite
Don’t listen at keyholes (or linger outside dormitory doors with socks on the doorknob), for you may well hear (see) something you’d rather not.
Or smell something you’d rather not. Not all the socks hanging on the doorknob are fresh ones, you know.
Oh shit.
DRAMA LLAMA!
Joe: Would it be weird if I gave you a high-five right now?
Y’know, Amber, on the plus side…you expressed a concern about dating a dude and getting left in the lurch when he expresses a preference for wing-wong rather than hoo-hah.
Danny’s utter excitement over ‘journalism’ should, if nothing else, dispel any doubts as to how he feels about hoo-hah.
Silver lining!
You know, the word wing-wong always made me laugh.
Whenever I hear the word wing-wong, I think of this TROPE.
Pretty sure that’s where I got that particular euphemism for the pocket rocket.
Every time I read/hear hoo-hah I think of Al Pacino.
Aw, poor Amber…really enjoying this storyline though. Might be my favorite DoA story yet!
Look on the bright side, Amber. At least this is evidence he’s straight!
Yes, at least you’re making progress!
Don’t you mean PROGRESS?
You’re right! How could I have forgotten?
Is it just me or is Danny’s right nipple way too low and centered on his body?
Why am I not surprised your eyes went there?
Only his left is visible. So either you’re getting right and left mixed up, or you’re seeing his pose in a bizarre way I’m struggling to understand.
it’s his belly button+Bad Joke
Amber’s reactions have been tough to read this week. She keeps looking like she’s precipitously balanced between competing emotions. On Wednesday it looked like disappointment watered down by disinterest. Thursday looked like betrayal offset by confusion. By the end of today her expression is a contortion of heartbreak, disgust, and judgement. After all that, I’m still not sure if she actually cares about him, or if she’s just put off by the surprisingly skeevy atmosphere she’s found around a fellow CS geek that initially gave here a very different impression.
I guess the whole point is that she’s not sure either.
In a strange way this could speed up the ship by showing amber that Danny is attractive to other women and making him more desirable.
highly doubt that it will due to Billie’s comments … “twerp, need guys like Joe and then the bumping into Joe” puts Amber on the extreme defensive.
Then again… He’s a twerp, but she still felt attracted to him enough to journalism with him? Might be enough to make Amber think he really is irresistible. At the very least, she seems to already feel enough attraction to him to be hurt by the idea of him journalisming someone else.
(funny note: spell check seems to hate the word “journalisming”)
I don’t normally nitpick, but Billie’s hand in the first panel is freaking me out.
Her thumb seems to be moving towards her elbow.
CANNOT UNSEE!
I’d go to 8.5 on that rack.
I’d give it a 10.
I am legit butthurt for Amber.
How many days ago did Danny and Amber start hanging out? Two? Three?
I like to think they were actually conducting an interview in the throes of passion.
“So, when did you (unh!) see Amazi-Girl?”
“Well, I was walking at night (yes, Yes, YES!) after being dumped by my girlfriend…”
I may not be remembering, but did Amber and Danny have a ‘like eachother’ moment that I missed? If they haven’t, then.. I’m not sure why Amber’s looking upset that a random guy she met once in passing got laid via someone who was not her? :/
IM pretty sure Danny asked her out.
Or something like that.
Danny and Amber were flirting with each other earlier. That was back when Joe compared Amber to Dorothy.
That and Amazi-Girl saved him.
Looks like Dann has got some ‘splainin to do.
This comic requires a ‘journalism’-tag.
Amber
Journalism is magic.
Journalism Is So Magic
Journalism is Babies.
Journalism makes Babies.
Fixed.
No need to be so literal
There is, when it’s funny.
It’s obvious that this is going to be the college episode of Danny conquering every girl to make the viewers laugh then cry.
P.S.sarcasm.
Danny becomes Joe?
I just know figured out that Danny is a pretty good flirt. I mean, all he did is just flirt and BAM, he got himself a lady friend and an “interview”.
I had honestly forgotten Danny and Amber even knew each other. Thanks to the archive tags, I’m reminded of their flirtation, but goodness, that was three days ago.
He might put his pica pole into her glue pot.
(NOBODY under the age of 50 will recognize these as newspaper terms)
(NOBODY under the age of 20 will recognize newspapers)
I recognize them! In high school we cut and pasted our newspaper pages together the old fashioned way.
And because we were teenagers, we made at least one million dumb jokes about pica poles.
I recognize them. But then, I’m over…
…yeah.
Over the hill? Over you?
Over your mom?
Over-paid?
Sure as the hell not overpaid.
Over easy? Over stimulated? Over the weekend? Overtly pro-colorization?
Overclocked.
21 year old design student recognizes them.
Dude, put some pants on.
And know we know why Amber made that face.
She’s just found out that, contrary to what she’s seen in porn (or on Ethan), guys do not routinely have 14 inch dicks.
I believe that in real life, the average length is closer to around the 14cm mark.
I originally interpreted Amber’s expression in the last panel as a, ‘are you really going to try to make that excuse in this situation’ expression, but I believe, upon closer inspection, that there is a slight quiver of the lips. Difficult to be sure.
*an
Well… okay. But if we’re going to do the MenágeA3 thing I get to be Zii.
Whoa… Deja vu.
Why did you quash Danny/Amber, Willis? :O
I thought you were going for new OTP’s. XD
Obviously, he did it so it will come completely out of left field (for Amber) when Danny starts dating Ethan. ;P
HAHAHAHAHAHH! XD
Yay! sex! … A that Religion
was making me itch.
Danny is gonna have to invent a new kind of journalism.
Journalism… With his penis!
For a nickel.
Umm… Well Amber, look on the bright side. At least you KNOW this one isn’t gay.
THIS IS MISSING A BILLIE TAG. D:
Wait… You notice how we don’t see Billie and Amber together in the same panel? GASP! That means… Billie is Amber! In disguise! And we never noticed it because they BOTH wear glasses!
Glasses really ARE the best disguise! O-O