GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don’t know man, I didn’t do it.
In my experience, almost anyone using the phrase “good ol’ days” either never lived through them, or lived in a golden environment of being shielded from any responsibility during them. The only exception I can think of is “before the war.”
*puts on my best agnostic hat* Now Becky, you cannot prove for sure whether or not God is real or fake. Ergo, insisting that your statement of “God is fake” is a true statement, is incorrect. What is your evidence? You gotta think of this stuff if you truly wanna be a scientist, Becks!
*puts on best atheist hat* That would be faulty logic b/c science would put the burden of proof is on the one claiming God is real and there is no observable material data to even put forth the existence of God as a hypothesis worth investigating. She should probably just talk to her girlfriend irregardless.
*puts on barely acceptable amateur etymologist hat* language is an ever evolving thing that does not and will not conform to the dictates of a prescriptivist rulebook. Irregardless is becoming, if not already has become, a word.
Has been in use since 1910 … and. every. single. time. some English major, or even corporal manages to stick their unasked and unwanted opinions about the fact that it is NOT a word into the conversation.
go ahead, poke a stick into THAT grammar and spelling, I’s dares yas.
On the realm of popping out a bad memory for me personally… I grew up very near the border of Canada and my first day in a new school, 2nd grade, I was asked to spell color, and did so. C..O..L..O..U..R.. I was sent to the corner for insisting that I was right and ridiculed by my classmates.
@Chris try being a British kid living in California for two years, from the ages of 6-8 and working out what the heck spelling even is… I work in publishing now. Differences in spellings and meanings in our common language that separates us are interesting!
Adept, I will continue to say dice instead of die until more people understand that die means “singular dice.”
Until that becomes more commonly recognized, clarity trumps pedantry.
Also, irregardless is an entirely valid word, has been for over a century, and is FAR more enjoyable to say. It is exactly as valid of a word as me saying “Legit” or “Bet” or any other random bits of slang that have fallen into my vocab.
As for the complaint that it makes no sense because it’s a double negative? Yeah? And? It’s not the only word that we use that seems like it’s a double negative. There’s an ENTIRE CATEGORY of English words that have two meanings that are directly opposed to themselves. Think “clip”, which means to either cut something off… Or attach something. “Cleave” can mean two things being stuck together… Or two things cut apart. “Sanction” is either official permission to do a thing, or a penalty for breaking a law.
Given how nonsense English is, and how rapidly it changes, I will continue to use the words that bring me joy, irregardless of complaints
Did you understand what i meant when i used that word?
Was there a chance that someone would misunderstand what i meant by using that word?
If the first is ‘yes’ and the second is ‘no’, then please don’t waste everyone’s time by complaining that it’s wrong.
In Britain there’s a joke of sorts where any word can be used to mean being extremely drunk ‘i got utterly gazaboed last night. Full on radiatored.’ And yes, i do think my logic still works even with these extreme examples.
If it can be generally understood by a community what is being said within context, then the word used was correct to be used at that point.
Interestingly “inflammable” is older than flammable and possibly older than the common use of “in” as a negation prefix. It’s the same derivation as “inflame” or “inflammation”
“Flammable” is a much more recent back formation from inflammable created precisely to avoid the possible confusion of people thinking the in negated the meaning.
These girls take their religion way too seriously. There’s such a wide range to choose from, join the European-style casual buffet my friends.
Come to think of it in Becky’s case it seems to also be how she thinks about sexuality so maybe generally speaking what she needs is stop being such a Sith?
Hugs when you’re both walking are awkward. Do you do the side hug that always feels kinda not enough? Or do you stop and go for the full comfort body press but then you’ve just stopped in the middle of the street and are now a public obstruction
No I’ve not spent too much time thinking about this you shut up
Think about her life with her dad for the last decade. When on earth has a conversation gone her way? She clearly made a mistake and broke everything and no one loves her and she’ll die alone, like always, except for the times where that didn’t happen which were exceptions.
Compare that with how Hank accepted Joyce right off the bat. Obviously the common factor and thus the problem is Becky.
And that’s why Joyce didn’t return her love even though she’s gay too. It’s because of Becky. She’s the problem. Of course Dina left her. She’s the problem.
Her feelings for Joyce are definitely part of this, but I don’t think they’re even most of it. And I don’t think Dina realizes that.
This right here. Becky is falling back on old habits, old thought patterns. She has been able to put them aside in her mind hanging out with Dina and being the extroverted wacky “hey eberyone guess what, i’m a lesbian” goofball she wants to be, but recent changes in her social circle, changes she cannot control, and she can only repress so hard. Obviously her dad was a scumbag, but it is also worth considering how very much Becky is also still struggling with the sudden loss of her mother. And indeed, while we do not know what Ross was like when Beck’s mom was still alive, I have very little doubt the loss of his wife exarcebated any and all toxicity in his behavior. Would he have gone on a gun-toting rampage if he wasn’t also still reeling from his wife’s death and, rather than healthily grieve her, just decided to double down on controlling his surroundings? Maybe, but maybe not.
Becky got a double whammy of trauma. First she loses her mom, completely out of left field (from Becky’s perspective, at least) and did not (or was not allowed to) properly grieve that. Then she dealth with her father’s descent into madness because he never took the time to grieve his wife healthily, which probably had a hand in his inflicting further trauma on Becky.
Becky has been given a raw deal, time and time again, and has very much had to raise herself in the last few years with little in the way of older support from parents, guardians, mentors, or even an older sibling. Sure, her peers have been helpful, but a) her peers are not any more experienced than she in a lot of this stuff, and b) what happens when her peer group is part of the problem? Sure, Dina was trying her best to deprogram Becky, but a) Dina is her partner not a therapist, and b) Dina honestly comes from a world so different than Becky that her best attempts are relative shots in the dark.
Her calling Robin and Leslie her “mom’s” is a freudian slip for the ages. It tells you everything you need to know about how they are the closest to a support network she’s got. Heartwarming and heartbreaking in equal measure.
Are you sure? What I see in the news from people who identify as Christians, suggests they are quite keen to hammer in some nails, or at least cheer when others do it for them.
I went from being a vaguely non practicing christian as a child to being full on atheist already by my teens and unnoticed christian values, traditions and expressions still often come up in my life. Becky will never fully be separated from her christian upbringing.
Becky
Becky listen to me
Listen Becky you gotta hear this
BECKY
You can still T A L K to Dina. Have a li’l chat. You’re neighbors you literally can’t avoid seeing each other.
That’s the problem, chief. Becky has convinced herself that having the difficult conversation will inevitably result in Dina dumping her because she’s an inadequate partner. So instead, she’s planning to burn her life down before anybody else gets the chance.
Becky catastrophizes everything. She said “I’d rather kill myself than not be a lesbian” and immediately assumed that was suicidal ideation and disrespecting her mom and all other things. This is what she does.
(Given that what she said was certainly making light of suicide, keep in mind that at the time she thought her mother was watching (/over) her and listening to everything she said at every moment, including that one. That is to say, a faux pas in front of a loved one who no only attempted suicide in the past but also succeeded.)
That’s not a very good example IMHO because if Becky sincerely feels it was suicidal ideation then it is best to rule in favor of that. She only SAID it once but it is clear from her continued anxiety around the topic of sexuality being fluid that she MIGHT think it more than she says it. Suicidal ideation is contemplating and thinking of killing yourself. Even if the thought is only fleeting if it is REOCCURRING then that’s… yeah. Yeah. We also see multiple times during this latest conflict that her wording for how she feels is things like “I need to not be here”. That’s another thing that tends to be a suicidal ideation sort of thought. “I wish I wasn’t here, I wish I wasn’t alive, etc etc”.
She DID catastrophize about how saying that was disrespectful to her mom but I also feel that’s understandable. It’d be like if I was flippant about “oh I’d rather have cancer than *insert thing here*” and then realize “aaw but I remember seeing my mother die from cancer, that’s not cool.”. Catastrophizing isn’t just some “annoying character flaw” it’s… kinda part and parcel to having a mental illness or going through a terrible time mentally, a lot of the time. And I think that describes Becky pretty thoroughly.
Yeah this strip has added some context. Becky believes everything she said and possibly thinks she’s bad for Dina. I don’t think talking would resolve the situation or get them back together. And sadly I kinda understand where Becky is coming from. She is bad for Dina in this mental space. I think Dina has put in a lot of effort propping Becky up when she feels bad about herself. Becky needs to figure her shit out.
Usually communication is good, but talking about Becky’s feelings for Joyce would just rub salt in the wound. She should talk to a friend about it, or take some time to work it out herself. It might be better for them to get a little space, even if they don’t break up.
I’m sure Dina would appreciate it if Becky actually did talk with her about their relationship and the things they both said the last time we saw them together. It’s entirely possible Dina would like to see their relationship continue. But I guess Becky would rather mope and assume it’s over.
So, quick stop here, as I don’t have much to add.
We all agree that Billie probably plays Star Wars the Old Republic, right? Sure she doesn’t have it on her desktop, and the folder was probably renamed to “homework”, but she absolutely plays it at least once a week, right?
100%. I think she plays Jedi Knight mostly, and is probably forever salty that Nautolan is not a playable class. LET ME BE KIT FISTO she snarls internally, and then settles for mentally RPing a Kit Fisto love interest.
It’s gonna be weird when the sliding timescale of the strip makes it so Billie’s age mean the Star Wars in her childhood should have been the sequels instead of the prequels yet she’s still strangely into Kit Fisto.
She’s just assuming. With most people she’d be right, probably, but Dina seems like she’d be quite direct and straightforward about breaking up if that was a breakup.
This strip suggests to me that she doesn’t want to salvage the relationship. She doesn’t think she deserves to be with Dina anymore and she’s not going to try to be.
This is what I’m getting, too — it’s not “potential misunderstanding”, it’s “I don’t deserve to be happy, so I’m going to assume Dina leaving is final”.
I went back and re-read the relevant strips. This is a very sad and IMO stupid reason to end what has seemed like a good relationship forboth.
That said, if Beckycan’t get over mooning for Joyce to this degree she can’t function. Jealoucy over, and possessiveness towards Joyce seems to be a shared trait between her and Dorothy.
But catastrophizing voices write more interesting stories! The voices that evaluate possibilities rationally write stories where people make better choices, and that’s boring…
Becky: Dina, I’m still madly holdin’ a torch for Joyce. (← True.)
Becky: Dina, you deserve better (← True.)
Becky: I can try to be better (← True.)
Becky: But I might fail again (← True.)
Becky: I miss you a lot (← True.)
Becky: Can you forgive me and accept me back?
Dina: Wait, what?
Dina: I did not say that I was leaving you forever. (← True.)
Dina: Of course I can forgive you! (← Maybe true?)
So I had this long complicated idea about Becky, and noodled about it for a while, and then other stuff happened. I don’t think I’ve posted it yet.
One of the things that is puzzling is that Joyce kissing Dorothy somehow results in Becky rejecting God. This doesn’t seem to jibe with Becky’s beliefs — does she really think that God owes it to Becky to have Joyce be either heterosexual or gay and returning Becky’s lustful love? *
But I don’t think that’s quite it.
I think that Becky’s theology up until this crisis was something like “God loves us, and gives us good things, but people make bad choices with God’s good gifts because of sin.” Something like that, roughly — and if anyone sees something I’ve missed with that summary, please point it out.
So Becky weathered her mother’s suicide, and her old school expelling her for her lesbianism, and her father kidnapping her twice, as having been bad choices made by the various people involved. Even Joyce not returning her carnal interest makes sense in the above framework, because God makes most people heterosexual, and some people homosexual, and both are great. (Yes, this erases bisexuality, and fluid sexuality. Her thinking didn’t have space for more complicated situations until recently.)
But Becky had this huge, horrible mental health crisis from seeing that Joyce lusted for Dorothy, but not Becky herself. The carnal affection may have been the trigger for the crisis, but I think the rejection of God came from the mental health crisis itself.
Becky has always kept the dark, sad side of herself carefully hidden away behind the bold attitude and cheerful smile. But maybe what happened was, as she was in the depth of that crisis of depression and despair and (probably) suicidal ideation, there came the cold, stark thoughts:
“I didn’t choose this.”
“I didn’t choose to be made so miserable by my friend choosing someone else that it makes me want to die.”
“My mom didn’t choose to be made so miserable by her life that it made her want to die.”
“These horrible feelings cannot be good gifts from God.”
“My mom had clinical depression and suicidal despair, and I have inherited that trait from my mom, . . . ”
“ . . . and those are traits that we have because we are evolved animals, and evolution doesn’t care . . .”
“ . . . and there is no good God.”
And that might be why Becky wants to be broken up with Dina: She suspects that, like her mother, she may end her own life someday. And she doesn’t want anyone around when that happens.
Yes, Becky needs to have a deeper conversation with Dina than she’s probably had so far. Any maybe conversations with Joyce and Leslie and Robin and Dorothy. And probably also therapy and maybe medication.
______________________________
*: I’ve used “lustful” and “carnal” throughout in order to emphasize that Becky is homoromantic and homosexual. Joyce does love Becky, and Becky knows it — but Not That Way ™
You probably could have just used “romantic” to get the point across. But I think the crux of the conflict is that Becky thought, in some unspoken way, “God” “gave her” Dina as a sort of consolation because Joyce “wasn’t gay”. Becky thinks much in the same way as Joyce in the sense of, “romantic destiny” I guess you could say. Joyce was so important to Becky that in her mind the only reason they weren’t together was because she was straight, but now she has to reckon with the reality that Joyce does like women, but just not her (in a romantic sense). In Becky’s mind she’s gone through so much horrible shit that she “deserves” Joyce’s affection (i.e. very Christian idea of being rewarded for suffering), but obviously it doesn’t work that way therefore God isn’t real.
My interpretation is that while it didn’t work out the way Becky wanted (getting together with Joyce), she felt that it was God’s desire/plan for her to end up at IU– a place where she now has friends, a home, the freedom to pursue the future she wants. But with the feelings of envy/heartbreak/longing she had with learning about Joyce and Dorothy, she may have reframed it to herself as, “Oh, I really just came here because I wanted to be with Joyce.” Not some plan of the divine.
And then the mental illness is also a factor because she’s not just going, “Ow, this really hurts,” but seeing it as evidence that she’s bad. And maybe her actions have been based in her own badness, not God. And maybe she can’t be saved from her badness because there’s not a God to offer her redemption.
I still think her feelings for Joyce are only part of it. Hank accepting Joyce when her own dad, from the same church, couldn’t accept her did a lot to shake her. Both her faith in God and back into that “I’m the problem” thought process that almost certainly dates back to the abuse.
This is Becky’s version of Joyce’s “I knew this would happen, because I learned that A + B = C, and then I did A, so I’m at C” when it comes to relationships. Joyce preemptively assumed that what happened when she kissed Dorothy, was that Joe was going to break up with her, because she was taught that when you’re a hussy, you get left. Becky believes that people abandon you when you do or say the wrong thing, and she said the wrong thing to Dina, so she cannot comprehend any outcome besides being abandoned. Neither of them have the capacity to innately grasp secular relationship nuances, because their ideas about relationships are tied up in fundie assumptions, even as they slowly unpack some of those over time. Plus, Becky is just…so depressed, and that doesn’t make it easier to imagine that people want to be with you, or that they won’t abandon you because of how innately undeserving of love you are.
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dumb true things
very dumb things
“You wish that I were Joyce.”
“… Yes.”
It’s pretty hard to come back from that, yeah. 🙁
Trust hugs.
Don’t trust true things.
GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don’t know man, I didn’t do it.
– Principia Discordia
A call to a distant past. Simpler times.
Not really sure the early 60s were simpler times.
“The good old days were always 30 years ago, because that’s when you were too young to question your parents’ bullshit.” XD (-_-)
I question whether I was too young to question my parents bullshit at 46.
Also, false things are especially true.
In my experience, almost anyone using the phrase “good ol’ days” either never lived through them, or lived in a golden environment of being shielded from any responsibility during them. The only exception I can think of is “before the war.”
Bashir: So how much of it was true?
Garak: All of it
Bashir: Even the lies?
Garak: Especially the lies
-Deep Space Nine
I’m all here for UnexpectedTrek.
Especially the Deep Space Nine
Yesh. Any Bashir/Garak or Bashir/O’Brien interactions are always a delight!
Please consider yourself upvoted.
“Never trust a hug. It’s just a way of hiding your face.” – The Doctor
Becky: I am burning my life down, Leslie. Don’t interrupt.
But if you could pick up some marshmallows and sticks, that’d be nice.
Leslie is the best mom (Not like the standards are very high on this comic)
*puts on my best agnostic hat* Now Becky, you cannot prove for sure whether or not God is real or fake. Ergo, insisting that your statement of “God is fake” is a true statement, is incorrect. What is your evidence? You gotta think of this stuff if you truly wanna be a scientist, Becks!
No, no, Becky isn’t into science anymore either.
Or chocolate.
Because Joyce.
*puts on best atheist hat* That would be faulty logic b/c science would put the burden of proof is on the one claiming God is real and there is no observable material data to even put forth the existence of God as a hypothesis worth investigating. She should probably just talk to her girlfriend irregardless.
*puts on best English hat* irregardless isn’t a word, please see me after class
*puts on barely acceptable amateur etymologist hat* language is an ever evolving thing that does not and will not conform to the dictates of a prescriptivist rulebook. Irregardless is becoming, if not already has become, a word.
Well, yes, true. But the logic (illogic even) of it…
Irregardles ought to be the opposite of regard-less, ie regarding.
Yeap, “irregardless” is a double negative in a single word.
According to the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, irregardless means regardless, and has been in use since around 1910.
I hate it so much, and will judge people using it. Same for saying dice when talking about a single die. Alea iacta est.
Has been in use since 1910 … and. every. single. time. some English major, or even corporal manages to stick their unasked and unwanted opinions about the fact that it is NOT a word into the conversation.
go ahead, poke a stick into THAT grammar and spelling, I’s dares yas.
On the realm of popping out a bad memory for me personally… I grew up very near the border of Canada and my first day in a new school, 2nd grade, I was asked to spell color, and did so. C..O..L..O..U..R.. I was sent to the corner for insisting that I was right and ridiculed by my classmates.
@Chris try being a British kid living in California for two years, from the ages of 6-8 and working out what the heck spelling even is… I work in publishing now. Differences in spellings and meanings in our common language that separates us are interesting!
Adept, I will continue to say dice instead of die until more people understand that die means “singular dice.”
Until that becomes more commonly recognized, clarity trumps pedantry.
Also, irregardless is an entirely valid word, has been for over a century, and is FAR more enjoyable to say. It is exactly as valid of a word as me saying “Legit” or “Bet” or any other random bits of slang that have fallen into my vocab.
As for the complaint that it makes no sense because it’s a double negative? Yeah? And? It’s not the only word that we use that seems like it’s a double negative. There’s an ENTIRE CATEGORY of English words that have two meanings that are directly opposed to themselves. Think “clip”, which means to either cut something off… Or attach something. “Cleave” can mean two things being stuck together… Or two things cut apart. “Sanction” is either official permission to do a thing, or a penalty for breaking a law.
Given how nonsense English is, and how rapidly it changes, I will continue to use the words that bring me joy, irregardless of complaints
My logic will always be this:
Did you understand what i meant when i used that word?
Was there a chance that someone would misunderstand what i meant by using that word?
If the first is ‘yes’ and the second is ‘no’, then please don’t waste everyone’s time by complaining that it’s wrong.
In Britain there’s a joke of sorts where any word can be used to mean being extremely drunk ‘i got utterly gazaboed last night. Full on radiatored.’ And yes, i do think my logic still works even with these extreme examples.
If it can be generally understood by a community what is being said within context, then the word used was correct to be used at that point.
@Adept
I think you mean “Aleae iacta est”.
@Sharizard: Along similar lines I could care less
@John Campbell
“Aleae iactae sunt”, actually.
Or did you get it wrong on purpose?
Next on Language Wars: “flammable” and “inflammable”.
I don’t understand… flammable means “easily set on fire” and inflammable means….. oh.
Clean up on Isle 6, exploded brains.
This is a straight up dangerous one.
Stop fanning the flames with your inflammatory rhetoric!
You’ll start a conflagration amongst the congregation!
Actually, inflammable and flammable mean different things.
Something that is flammable means you can set it on fire, like wood.
Something that is inflammable can burst into flames without an ignition, like certain gases or elements when exposed to oxygen
I always kind of wanted inflammable to be redefined as ‘instantly flammable’. Like with chemicals.
But the dictionary people didn’t respond…
Interestingly “inflammable” is older than flammable and possibly older than the common use of “in” as a negation prefix. It’s the same derivation as “inflame” or “inflammation”
“Flammable” is a much more recent back formation from inflammable created precisely to avoid the possible confusion of people thinking the in negated the meaning.
* puts on non-existent entomologist hat *
Hey gang, look at this neat beetle!
Oooh, a beetle!!
Is it Paul or Ringo?
Old Becky would be fascinated by that Catholic scientist show about investigating miracles.
Joyce would be horrified as Catholics are the Beast.
Then correct herself and say they’re not because she’s an atheist and then say something equally offensive.
Sad Becky hates science, God, herself, and probably Funko Pops.
These girls take their religion way too seriously. There’s such a wide range to choose from, join the European-style casual buffet my friends.
Come to think of it in Becky’s case it seems to also be how she thinks about sexuality so maybe generally speaking what she needs is stop being such a Sith?
+1, would upvote this if I could for that last line. Bravo.
Hugs when you’re both walking are awkward. Do you do the side hug that always feels kinda not enough? Or do you stop and go for the full comfort body press but then you’ve just stopped in the middle of the street and are now a public obstruction
No I’ve not spent too much time thinking about this you shut up
Goddammit, Becky.
Need to shake Becky and impress upon her that she doesn’t need to un-say anything but she does need to have an actual for real conversation with Dina
I’m starting to think she doesn’t want to.
More specifically, she’s scared that the conversation will lead to Dina realizing Becky was holding her back
I’m there, with a side order of “I don’t deserve to find out that she was just temporarily upset, I deserve to lose her so I’m going to assume I did.”
Becky: I break up with you because I am bad for you!
Dina: Okay.
Yeah the whole “you’re can’t fire me, I quit!” solution is really a pity when you’re not even necessarily getting fired in the first place.
Think about her life with her dad for the last decade. When on earth has a conversation gone her way? She clearly made a mistake and broke everything and no one loves her and she’ll die alone, like always, except for the times where that didn’t happen which were exceptions.
Parental abuse fucks you up bad.
Compare that with how Hank accepted Joyce right off the bat. Obviously the common factor and thus the problem is Becky.
And that’s why Joyce didn’t return her love even though she’s gay too. It’s because of Becky. She’s the problem. Of course Dina left her. She’s the problem.
Her feelings for Joyce are definitely part of this, but I don’t think they’re even most of it. And I don’t think Dina realizes that.
This right here. Becky is falling back on old habits, old thought patterns. She has been able to put them aside in her mind hanging out with Dina and being the extroverted wacky “hey eberyone guess what, i’m a lesbian” goofball she wants to be, but recent changes in her social circle, changes she cannot control, and she can only repress so hard. Obviously her dad was a scumbag, but it is also worth considering how very much Becky is also still struggling with the sudden loss of her mother. And indeed, while we do not know what Ross was like when Beck’s mom was still alive, I have very little doubt the loss of his wife exarcebated any and all toxicity in his behavior. Would he have gone on a gun-toting rampage if he wasn’t also still reeling from his wife’s death and, rather than healthily grieve her, just decided to double down on controlling his surroundings? Maybe, but maybe not.
Becky got a double whammy of trauma. First she loses her mom, completely out of left field (from Becky’s perspective, at least) and did not (or was not allowed to) properly grieve that. Then she dealth with her father’s descent into madness because he never took the time to grieve his wife healthily, which probably had a hand in his inflicting further trauma on Becky.
Becky has been given a raw deal, time and time again, and has very much had to raise herself in the last few years with little in the way of older support from parents, guardians, mentors, or even an older sibling. Sure, her peers have been helpful, but a) her peers are not any more experienced than she in a lot of this stuff, and b) what happens when her peer group is part of the problem? Sure, Dina was trying her best to deprogram Becky, but a) Dina is her partner not a therapist, and b) Dina honestly comes from a world so different than Becky that her best attempts are relative shots in the dark.
Her calling Robin and Leslie her “mom’s” is a freudian slip for the ages. It tells you everything you need to know about how they are the closest to a support network she’s got. Heartwarming and heartbreaking in equal measure.
For someone who just renounced God, Becky is awfully eager to nail herself to the cross
Underrated comment
I mean the whole point of Christianity is that someone else already did the cross thing
[appears in a flash of light]
I have traveled back in time to avert catastrophe by clarifying that this is a flippant joke and not a serious statement about religious doctrine.
No, no, you’re right. That is the whole point.
The point of Christianity is to stop being one of the people doing the nailing.
Are you sure? What I see in the news from people who identify as Christians, suggests they are quite keen to hammer in some nails, or at least cheer when others do it for them.
I went from being a vaguely non practicing christian as a child to being full on atheist already by my teens and unnoticed christian values, traditions and expressions still often come up in my life. Becky will never fully be separated from her christian upbringing.
Brilliant. If I could upvote it, I would.
“Come down off the cross, we can use the wood” — Tom Waits
Dumbing of Age Book 16: A Hug’d Be Nice
Them being true doesn’t mean you can’t make amends. That’s one that I’ve had to learn and re-learn over the years.
hugs are nice!
Becky
Becky listen to me
Listen Becky you gotta hear this
BECKY
You can still T A L K to Dina. Have a li’l chat. You’re neighbors you literally can’t avoid seeing each other.
That’s the problem, chief. Becky has convinced herself that having the difficult conversation will inevitably result in Dina dumping her because she’s an inadequate partner. So instead, she’s planning to burn her life down before anybody else gets the chance.
She’s a very dramatic person.
Becky catastrophizes everything. She said “I’d rather kill myself than not be a lesbian” and immediately assumed that was suicidal ideation and disrespecting her mom and all other things. This is what she does.
(Given that what she said was certainly making light of suicide, keep in mind that at the time she thought her mother was watching (/over) her and listening to everything she said at every moment, including that one. That is to say, a faux pas in front of a loved one who no only attempted suicide in the past but also succeeded.)
To back this up, it is worth noting that her immediate follow-up was to apologize directly to her mother, who she considers(ed) to be listening to her. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2024/comic/book-14/04-for-me-it-was-tuesday/fluididentities/
That’s not a very good example IMHO because if Becky sincerely feels it was suicidal ideation then it is best to rule in favor of that. She only SAID it once but it is clear from her continued anxiety around the topic of sexuality being fluid that she MIGHT think it more than she says it. Suicidal ideation is contemplating and thinking of killing yourself. Even if the thought is only fleeting if it is REOCCURRING then that’s… yeah. Yeah. We also see multiple times during this latest conflict that her wording for how she feels is things like “I need to not be here”. That’s another thing that tends to be a suicidal ideation sort of thought. “I wish I wasn’t here, I wish I wasn’t alive, etc etc”.
She DID catastrophize about how saying that was disrespectful to her mom but I also feel that’s understandable. It’d be like if I was flippant about “oh I’d rather have cancer than *insert thing here*” and then realize “aaw but I remember seeing my mother die from cancer, that’s not cool.”. Catastrophizing isn’t just some “annoying character flaw” it’s… kinda part and parcel to having a mental illness or going through a terrible time mentally, a lot of the time. And I think that describes Becky pretty thoroughly.
I know Becky thinks it is hopeless to undo the mistake, but talking about it with Dina would be a good start. Yes?
Becky would I think break up with her if Dina didn’t want to break up with Becky.
This is a spiral.
Yeah this strip has added some context. Becky believes everything she said and possibly thinks she’s bad for Dina. I don’t think talking would resolve the situation or get them back together. And sadly I kinda understand where Becky is coming from. She is bad for Dina in this mental space. I think Dina has put in a lot of effort propping Becky up when she feels bad about herself. Becky needs to figure her shit out.
Usually communication is good, but talking about Becky’s feelings for Joyce would just rub salt in the wound. She should talk to a friend about it, or take some time to work it out herself. It might be better for them to get a little space, even if they don’t break up.
Where’s Robin in these times? She need to reforce the idea that everybody makes mistakes.
omfg that alt text after such a touching and sad strip
You said true things like ‘leave’, Becky. Come on.
I’m sure Dina would appreciate it if Becky actually did talk with her about their relationship and the things they both said the last time we saw them together. It’s entirely possible Dina would like to see their relationship continue. But I guess Becky would rather mope and assume it’s over.
Bye lil traffic babies
See, Leslie gives hugs.
Robin would try to help Becky get over it by getting her drunk on skittles.
(I don’t know how the chemistry behind that works, I just know that quantity is a quality of its own and also the operative word is “try”.)
Something something taste the rainbow?
Sugar?
So, could somebody repost the first comment on this page, and whoever posted it? I have this HUGE m’f’n banner ad obscuring the whole thing.
shadowcell
January 13, 2026 at 12:03 am
dumb true things
The promo picture for October 26th makes me think Raidah will not be in good health on October 27.
Awwww
Mum’s the word.
As far as final strips for characters go, this is one way to do it.
Needs more red truck.
Hugs are always the best!
*and that alt-text was truly rofl*
Also: Were all the dumb things true Becky? Are you sure? Are they maybe PTSD created? Mayyyyyybe?
So, quick stop here, as I don’t have much to add.
We all agree that Billie probably plays Star Wars the Old Republic, right? Sure she doesn’t have it on her desktop, and the folder was probably renamed to “homework”, but she absolutely plays it at least once a week, right?
100%. I think she plays Jedi Knight mostly, and is probably forever salty that Nautolan is not a playable class. LET ME BE KIT FISTO she snarls internally, and then settles for mentally RPing a Kit Fisto love interest.
Nautolans are playable actually! I think you have to buy them specifically but they are absolutely an option
Are they? I thought Cathar and Togruta were the only unlockables! I guess it’s been a while for me, lol!
Late 2019.
It’s gonna be weird when the sliding timescale of the strip makes it so Billie’s age mean the Star Wars in her childhood should have been the sequels instead of the prequels yet she’s still strangely into Kit Fisto.
Movies continue to exist after the moment in which they’re released.
You’re not supposed to admit that.
Even if they were true did she ask Dina how she felt or is she just assuming Dina no longer wants to be with her.
She’s just assuming. With most people she’d be right, probably, but Dina seems like she’d be quite direct and straightforward about breaking up if that was a breakup.
This strip suggests to me that she doesn’t want to salvage the relationship. She doesn’t think she deserves to be with Dina anymore and she’s not going to try to be.
This is what I’m getting, too — it’s not “potential misunderstanding”, it’s “I don’t deserve to be happy, so I’m going to assume Dina leaving is final”.
Per the story in her head, everyone leaves/abandons her eventually, one way or another.
And the combined powers contained in their hug caused the total annihilation of all matter surrounding them in the final frame…
I went back and re-read the relevant strips. This is a very sad and IMO stupid reason to end what has seemed like a good relationship forboth.
That said, if Beckycan’t get over mooning for Joyce to this degree she can’t function. Jealoucy over, and possessiveness towards Joyce seems to be a shared trait between her and Dorothy.
Now Dina/Becky fans know how Joe/Joyce fans feel.
Ah, the Sirens call of ‘Yesterday I was lying to myself, today I know the truth’. Responsible for several hundred of my most embarrassing memories.
There are only two ultimate truths; there is always room for Jello, and new understanding.
Once the hotel bathtub is full of jello, there is no more room for jello
Theoretically, a long time ago.
The whole point of filling the hotel bathtub with Jello, was to jump in – and after that, there will inevitably be room for more Jello!
you doofus, you still need to at least try to fix it. Maybe in a day or two.
Don’t let the catastrophizing voice in your head control the narrative, Becky.
🙁
But catastrophizing voices write more interesting stories! The voices that evaluate possibilities rationally write stories where people make better choices, and that’s boring…
For the reader…
Becky: Dina, I’m still madly holdin’ a torch for Joyce. (← True.)
Becky: Dina, you deserve better (← True.)
Becky: I can try to be better (← True.)
Becky: But I might fail again (← True.)
Becky: I miss you a lot (← True.)
Becky: Can you forgive me and accept me back?
Dina: Wait, what?
Dina: I did not say that I was leaving you forever. (← True.)
Dina: Of course I can forgive you! (← Maybe true?)
/Not called Smartening of Age
Mr. Incredible/Bob:
Hey! You did this, can you undo it?
Krushauer:
You want me to un-crush?
Mr. Incredible/Bob:
Why? No one’s ever asked for that?
Krushauer:
No! Uncrush is silly! Why uncrush?
Mr. Incredible/Bob:
To get to the engine ro- oh forget it, we don’t have enough time.
Krushauer:
What if I say to un-punch someone? What to do?
Becky and Dina is the saddest storyline ever. Death included.
The truth is dangerous. Like a knife, its use is absolutely necessary but you need to be careful when you use it around people.
This has the energy of a Dune quote and I love it for that.
So I had this long complicated idea about Becky, and noodled about it for a while, and then other stuff happened. I don’t think I’ve posted it yet.
One of the things that is puzzling is that Joyce kissing Dorothy somehow results in Becky rejecting God. This doesn’t seem to jibe with Becky’s beliefs — does she really think that God owes it to Becky to have Joyce be either heterosexual or gay and returning Becky’s lustful love? *
But I don’t think that’s quite it.
I think that Becky’s theology up until this crisis was something like “God loves us, and gives us good things, but people make bad choices with God’s good gifts because of sin.” Something like that, roughly — and if anyone sees something I’ve missed with that summary, please point it out.
So Becky weathered her mother’s suicide, and her old school expelling her for her lesbianism, and her father kidnapping her twice, as having been bad choices made by the various people involved. Even Joyce not returning her carnal interest makes sense in the above framework, because God makes most people heterosexual, and some people homosexual, and both are great. (Yes, this erases bisexuality, and fluid sexuality. Her thinking didn’t have space for more complicated situations until recently.)
But Becky had this huge, horrible mental health crisis from seeing that Joyce lusted for Dorothy, but not Becky herself. The carnal affection may have been the trigger for the crisis, but I think the rejection of God came from the mental health crisis itself.
Becky has always kept the dark, sad side of herself carefully hidden away behind the bold attitude and cheerful smile. But maybe what happened was, as she was in the depth of that crisis of depression and despair and (probably) suicidal ideation, there came the cold, stark thoughts:
“I didn’t choose this.”
“I didn’t choose to be made so miserable by my friend choosing someone else that it makes me want to die.”
“My mom didn’t choose to be made so miserable by her life that it made her want to die.”
“These horrible feelings cannot be good gifts from God.”
“My mom had clinical depression and suicidal despair, and I have inherited that trait from my mom, . . . ”
“ . . . and those are traits that we have because we are evolved animals, and evolution doesn’t care . . .”
“ . . . and there is no good God.”
And that might be why Becky wants to be broken up with Dina: She suspects that, like her mother, she may end her own life someday. And she doesn’t want anyone around when that happens.
Yes, Becky needs to have a deeper conversation with Dina than she’s probably had so far. Any maybe conversations with Joyce and Leslie and Robin and Dorothy. And probably also therapy and maybe medication.
______________________________
*: I’ve used “lustful” and “carnal” throughout in order to emphasize that Becky is homoromantic and homosexual. Joyce does love Becky, and Becky knows it — but Not That Way ™
You probably could have just used “romantic” to get the point across. But I think the crux of the conflict is that Becky thought, in some unspoken way, “God” “gave her” Dina as a sort of consolation because Joyce “wasn’t gay”. Becky thinks much in the same way as Joyce in the sense of, “romantic destiny” I guess you could say. Joyce was so important to Becky that in her mind the only reason they weren’t together was because she was straight, but now she has to reckon with the reality that Joyce does like women, but just not her (in a romantic sense). In Becky’s mind she’s gone through so much horrible shit that she “deserves” Joyce’s affection (i.e. very Christian idea of being rewarded for suffering), but obviously it doesn’t work that way therefore God isn’t real.
My interpretation is that while it didn’t work out the way Becky wanted (getting together with Joyce), she felt that it was God’s desire/plan for her to end up at IU– a place where she now has friends, a home, the freedom to pursue the future she wants. But with the feelings of envy/heartbreak/longing she had with learning about Joyce and Dorothy, she may have reframed it to herself as, “Oh, I really just came here because I wanted to be with Joyce.” Not some plan of the divine.
And then the mental illness is also a factor because she’s not just going, “Ow, this really hurts,” but seeing it as evidence that she’s bad. And maybe her actions have been based in her own badness, not God. And maybe she can’t be saved from her badness because there’s not a God to offer her redemption.
I still think her feelings for Joyce are only part of it. Hank accepting Joyce when her own dad, from the same church, couldn’t accept her did a lot to shake her. Both her faith in God and back into that “I’m the problem” thought process that almost certainly dates back to the abuse.
I also think this is part of it, she was so ready to scramble to protect Joyce, and then…
Ah, kiddo.
Just because what you said is (debatably) true, it doesn’t mean you can’t apologize for said words.
At least give Dina the opportunity to prove you right or wrong.
This is Becky’s version of Joyce’s “I knew this would happen, because I learned that A + B = C, and then I did A, so I’m at C” when it comes to relationships. Joyce preemptively assumed that what happened when she kissed Dorothy, was that Joe was going to break up with her, because she was taught that when you’re a hussy, you get left. Becky believes that people abandon you when you do or say the wrong thing, and she said the wrong thing to Dina, so she cannot comprehend any outcome besides being abandoned. Neither of them have the capacity to innately grasp secular relationship nuances, because their ideas about relationships are tied up in fundie assumptions, even as they slowly unpack some of those over time. Plus, Becky is just…so depressed, and that doesn’t make it easier to imagine that people want to be with you, or that they won’t abandon you because of how innately undeserving of love you are.
IS THIS LOSS? 🥹