Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Soulmates

by David M Willis on February 20, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Guess Who's Coming to Galasso's
└ Tags: dina, ethan, joyce

Discussion (193) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    February 20, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    She’s going to get murdered someday.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 20, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      That’s a very dark thing to say.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        February 20, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        I get it: “Soul” mates.

        • AckAckAck
          AckAckAck
          February 20, 2013 at 3:06 am | #

          “Dark Soul” mates.

          • Animal
            Animal
            February 20, 2013 at 7:35 am | #

            Spelling error. She said “Sole mates.” They share the same taste in shoes.

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              February 20, 2013 at 9:05 am | #

              The same taste in fish, actually.

            • SeanNOLA
              SeanNOLA
              February 20, 2013 at 12:24 pm | #

              Also wrong: She meant “Seoul Mates”. They share the same taste for Koreans.

              • Felix Kütt
                Felix Kütt
                February 20, 2013 at 12:43 pm | #

                ahh… …cannibalism… …wait, what were we discussing again?

              • Led
                Led
                February 21, 2013 at 5:57 am | #

                Does that shared taste involve Faz?

          • Dusty Muffinsss
            Dusty Muffinsss
            July 13, 2013 at 2:07 pm | #

            PRAISE THE SUN!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 20, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      She’s going to get charged with murder someday.

      FIXED! 😛

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      February 20, 2013 at 3:05 am | #

      She’s going to raise a family of murderers.

      Fixed again! :p

    • Josh
      Josh
      February 20, 2013 at 4:23 am | #

      Someday she’s going to get murdered by one of her murderous family, because she murdered someone.

      There, perfect!

    • Makkabee
      Makkabee
      February 20, 2013 at 9:52 am | #

      I think she’s more likely to be on the other end of the knife.

    • Zoey
      Zoey
      February 21, 2013 at 2:38 am | #

      all i see is “she is gonna murder ethan some day”

  2. piemanpie24
    piemanpie24
    February 20, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Heartbreak is guaranteed.

    • Count Dracula
      Count Dracula
      February 20, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

      Hell, this would trainwreck even if Ethan was straight. Some people come on too strong, but what Joyce is doing could bench-press a planet. She’s basically screaming into the heavens “My name is Joyce Brown, Queen of Queens: Look on my relationship status, ye mighty, and despair!”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 20, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

        She really wants to earn her MRS degree.

        • Bickendan
          Bickendan
          February 20, 2013 at 3:01 am | #

          She really should go to BYU for that. Although I’m sure the Mormons would have to get used to her…

          • Resne
            Resne
            February 20, 2013 at 3:24 am | #

            She’d hook up with three or four and be right as rain.

            • mcanshin42
              mcanshin42
              February 20, 2013 at 7:10 pm | #

              Naw. She’d be in shock for at least a week. (See previous encounter with a Mormon)
              By the way, it’s the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints – Known as Mormons for the Book of Mormon.

              • Bickendan
                Bickendan
                February 20, 2013 at 10:56 pm | #

                Oh, I know. I’m LDS.

          • Stevie Windup
            Stevie Windup
            February 20, 2013 at 3:56 am | #

            As much as I love Joyce, I’m sad to say that, at least in this area, she’d fit right in.

      • HEYOUGUYZ!
        HEYOUGUYZ!
        February 20, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

        ENGL 101 Allusion Badge granted.

        Also, that was my favorite poem for many years b/c of The Tripods Series.

    • jiynx
      jiynx
      February 20, 2013 at 1:13 am | #

      in ethan’s head: *WOOP WOOP* PULL UP! break off goose! *WOOP WOOP*

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        February 20, 2013 at 3:09 am | #

        That’s actually pretty appropriate for Ethan’s imagination since Top Gun is filled with a lot “hidden messages.”

      • Jim
        Jim
        March 29, 2013 at 3:36 pm | #

        Sad scene is sad. 🙁

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      February 20, 2013 at 3:11 am | #

      Heartbreak? I think the heart will be slammed to the pavement and run over by a truck 24 times.

  3. Aizat
    Aizat
    February 20, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Joyce, you can only call him a soulmate once you dated a guy for at least 5 years.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 20, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Or if you both wear the same size shoes and you want to be clever and call each other “Sole Mates”

      • NCP19
        NCP19
        February 20, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        I think if you do that, you’ll either wind up murdered or you truly have found your soulmate so…risky trade off.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 20, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          Or your soul getting sucked out through your eye sockets.

          • AckAckAck
            AckAckAck
            February 20, 2013 at 3:13 am | #

            I thought it’s what we called “Marriage”

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              February 20, 2013 at 9:11 am | #

              I thought they call “Marriage” doing time. You know because they call the spouse “the ball and chain”.

            • George
              George
              February 20, 2013 at 11:58 pm | #

              Is that your word for “Mawwiage”?

              • fatemaster1
                fatemaster1
                June 23, 2014 at 6:22 pm | #

                Ha! Princess Bride reference FTW!

      • John
        John
        February 20, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

        Walky and Danny are sole mates?

    • Zap Rowsdower
      Zap Rowsdower
      February 20, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

      Well, you can also properly identify soul mates much faster if you use satanic magical rituals such as found in Harry Potter or Charmed, but somehow I doubt she’s one to try those.

  4. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    February 20, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    That’s longer than some marriages. You go Joyce.

    • agentksilver
      agentksilver
      February 20, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Wait, no, Britney Spears was 55 hours.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        February 20, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Well for dogs that’s 18.5 days.

      • Zap Rowsdower
        Zap Rowsdower
        February 20, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        No, its still considerably longer than some marriages.

        According to googling “shortest marriage ever”, the shortest was some couple in Dubai, where the man literally walked directly from the court where he was married to another court where he filed for divorce, with the marriage itself being measured in seconds.

        52 hours is FOREVER in comparison.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 20, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

          The things some people do to get into record books.

          • Zap Rowsdower
            Zap Rowsdower
            February 20, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

            According to the artice, it was something about a promise to the father about letting her keep her job, being too embarassed to refuse to promise that, and presumably him being a tremendous misogynist/’traditionalist’.

  5. agentksilver
    agentksilver
    February 20, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    That…that sounds about right, for an 18-year-old evangelical.

  6. Aydr
    Aydr
    February 20, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan’s like “….maybe this is a good time to mention I’m gay. Really, really gay.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 20, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      60s Batman gay? 😀

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 20, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Worse. 60s Robin gay.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 20, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

          Not Schmitts Gay?

        • AckAckAck
          AckAckAck
          February 20, 2013 at 3:27 am | #

          Fun fact: Burt Ward, the guy who played Robin in the TV series said that he’s a ladies man. Way to go “boy wonder.”

          • Led
            Led
            February 20, 2013 at 7:47 am | #

            Well he’s also supposed to have had sex with girls while “Batman” watched: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYBktKFvWa0

  7. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    February 20, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh Joyce, honey. The impending trainwreck, it…impends.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 20, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Can you hear it, the sound of inevitability? 😀

      • cookie1995
        cookie1995
        February 20, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        it’s the sound of drums

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 20, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

          Wait, Joyce is The Master?

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            February 20, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

            That would explain so many things…

          • Blue
            Blue
            February 20, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

            Either that or Cookie is.
            It would go rather well with the Galasso grav.

        • TPman
          TPman
          February 20, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

          More of a tense silence sound really. TV tends to play these things up.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      February 20, 2013 at 12:40 pm | #

      “Is your ship sinking
      Did you know that’s arsenic you’re drinking
      Are you buried in ice caps
      Did the bridge you’re on collapse
      Did that place you’re in explode
      Oh that’s why we’re singing this ode

      OH oh what the heck
      Throw in a train wreck!
      Oh oh what the heck
      Throw in a train wreck!”

      • That Damn Rat
        That Damn Rat
        February 20, 2013 at 10:08 pm | #

        Did not expect to see Misery’s lullaby here.

  8. Aizat
    Aizat
    February 20, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    I think Dina knew about Ethan’s predicament.

    • Zap Rowsdower
      Zap Rowsdower
      February 20, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      She won’t say anything, though, unless somebody can somehow figure out how to seamlessly work “your boyfriend is gay and you are his beard” into a conversation about dinosaurs.

      • TPman
        TPman
        February 20, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

        “Current scientific thinking lends credence to the notion that many complex sexually reproducing species display homosexual tendencies. It would be logical to extend this to include dinosaurs, or your boyfriend Ethan.”

        • TPman
          TPman
          February 20, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

          She does say anything else for the next three pages and just continues blowing bubbles into her soda.
          Her comments go over Joyce’s head but visibly unnerve Ethan.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      February 20, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

      I don’t think Dina even knows what gay *is*.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 20, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

        I wouldn’t be surprised if Dina thought gays were guys who dig boners.

        • Khantalas
          Khantalas
          February 20, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

          Gays are paleontologists?

          • AckAckAck
            AckAckAck
            February 20, 2013 at 3:31 am | #

            Paleontologists usually get really excited when they found bones.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              February 20, 2013 at 3:43 am | #

              Which means that the answer to Khantalas is YES, yes they are. 😛

            • Khantalas
              Khantalas
              February 20, 2013 at 4:06 am | #

              Are they also excited when they find wood? As in, fossilized wood?

              • begbert2
                begbert2
                February 20, 2013 at 10:52 am | #

                They do like exposing hard wood.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                February 20, 2013 at 10:55 am | #

                Yes indeed, stony wood gives them wood.

  9. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    February 20, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Welp, all ambiguity is out the window. Ethan is officially leading her on.

    I know he’s upset about things with Amber and wishes he could take it back and all but still, dick move, man.

    • CanvasWolfDoll
      CanvasWolfDoll
      February 20, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      to be fair, ethan has not actually acknowledge their dating. he has denied it either, so maybe it’s a moral gray?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 20, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        moral gay.

      • someguywithakatana
        someguywithakatana
        February 20, 2013 at 2:13 am | #

        No it isn’t. Ethan is aware

        A. That Joyce considers the two of them to be in a romantic relationship.

        B. That he is gay

        and C. by virtue of properties A. and B. he is not able to have the kind of relationship with her that she wants.

        Knowing all of this, he is not even making the attempt to inform her. Even if he hasn’t vocally lied to her, he has lied by omission and manipulated her into a situation where the only really viable outcome is for her to get her feelings hurt. What he is doing is clearly wrong. Even more wrong if he’s at all aware what her recent experiences with men have been like, which I do doubt.

        I like Ethan. He’s a good guy overall. But here, in this situation, he is being a class A tool.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          February 20, 2013 at 2:58 am | #

          Actually, it’s a lot trickier than that because the plot so far has led me to believe that Ethan’s trying to NOT be gay.

          He’s going back into the closet, and trying to convince himself that it’s actually a suite.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            February 20, 2013 at 3:46 am | #

            I can easily see Joyce as the type who believe that gays can be cured while Ethan somehow is hoping that this whole gay thing is just a phase and that he can somehow become straight if he tries hard enough.

            • thomas0comer
              thomas0comer
              February 20, 2013 at 8:10 pm | #

              And then it ends with one killing the other.
              …I’m not sure if that’s more or less likely in a work of Willis’.

        • RJF
          RJF
          February 20, 2013 at 7:20 am | #

          Who knows? Maybe Joyce’s affection will put him on the turn.

          • Li
            Li
            February 20, 2013 at 9:01 am | #

            Not unless that turn is “realizing this is a terrible mistake and he doesn’t need to do this”.

        • drs
          drs
          February 20, 2013 at 8:08 am | #

          Given Joyce’s public persona, he might think that a sexless relationship is exactly what she wants. He gets a life beard, she gets a husband who’ll never pressure her for post-martial hanky panky.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            February 20, 2013 at 10:54 am | #

            She WANTS post-marital hanky-panky. Badly.

            • Aydr
              Aydr
              February 20, 2013 at 9:22 pm | #

              So? All he has to do is rub her stomach with a back massager and she’ll think she’s getting some hot action, apparently.

              • George
                George
                February 21, 2013 at 12:00 am | #

                Supposedly she knows that’s not real hanky-panky… but I bet she’d take it from Ethan.

                That was honestly not supposed to sound so dirty but I’m not sure how else to say it.

  10. Sensedog
    Sensedog
    February 20, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    It’s kind of like watching a multiple vehicle accident; it is bad, and you know that it probably won’t end well, and yet you cannot look away.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 20, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      This is more like watching the truck on the train tracks trying to start his engine and you know it’s going to end badly but you’re really hoping by some miracle it turns out all right.

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        February 20, 2013 at 3:37 am | #

        This is more like when we watching someone carry a thousands dollars wedding cake and there’s an empty bottle rolling on the floor and the caterer going to step on it. You’re conflicted between warning the caterer so the wedding will go smoothly or watching the cake flying and hilarity ensues.

        I think that’s what Dina thinking.

  11. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 20, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    52 hours? That roughly about 2100 moments or about 7,500,000 eye-blinks.

    • Robbie C
      Robbie C
      February 20, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      How about in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
      in inches, in miles, in laughter, and strife?

      How about love?

      • Aydr
        Aydr
        February 20, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        Um, that’s into it’s third daylight, two sunsets, two midnights, and I’m pretty sure Joyce thinks coffee is a sin.

        • CanvasWolfDoll
          CanvasWolfDoll
          February 20, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

          no… that would be agatha…

        • TPman
          TPman
          February 20, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

          Why Joyce think coffee’s a sin? Pope Clement VII- oh yah, he was Catholic.

      • Ragnal
        Ragnal
        February 20, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        GOD DAMMIT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 20, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

        As far as I am aware, love is NOT something you can measure in time units.

        • Ancestral Hamster
          Ancestral Hamster
          February 20, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

          Oh yeah, my love comes in at just under 12 parsecs! 😛

          • Woo
            Woo
            February 20, 2013 at 6:14 pm | #

            Aren’t parsecs units of distance?

          • Aydr
            Aydr
            February 20, 2013 at 9:33 pm | #

            Holy shit. That’s a lot of love.

        • JustDucky
          JustDucky
          February 20, 2013 at 1:11 pm | #

          “As far as I am aware, love is NOT something you can measure in time units.”

          You have it backwards. Love isn’t being measured, it’s the unit by which time is being measured. Google “Seasons of Love” from Rent for the reference.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        February 20, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

        So many show choirs. So many performances of that song. *Twitches*

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 20, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      That’s too short. Try two and half years, then say you’re soul mates.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 20, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        But if you’re soul mates you would know immediately, cuz you’re soul mates.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 20, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          Yeah, but it’s one sided. You think you found your soul mate but your significant other might not.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            February 20, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

            yes

            • Kemp
              Kemp
              February 20, 2013 at 12:53 pm | #

              ye

  12. BlueRam
    BlueRam
    February 20, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    The crazy is STRONG with this one.

    • ASmellyOgre
      ASmellyOgre
      February 20, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

      Still better than Roomies! Joyce.

    • fatemaster1
      fatemaster1
      June 23, 2014 at 6:27 pm | #

      Crazy, crazy for loving you….

  13. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 20, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    I like how Ethan pretty much becomes Dina whenever Joyce mentions their relationship. He just stares blankly.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 20, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      An Ethan/Dina Freaky Friday storyline? Now that could be interesting.

      • Chaz
        Chaz
        February 20, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

        How could you tell the difference?? Aside from a switch between the love of Dinosaurs and Transformers, I suppose.

        • Aydr
          Aydr
          February 20, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

          Until dinobots get involved, then you’ll never figure it out.

          • fatemaster1
            fatemaster1
            June 23, 2014 at 6:28 pm | #

            And we have a winner!

  14. NF
    NF
    February 20, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    I’m sorry everyone, but oh my god, Joyce is annoying.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 20, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      It’s ok. She’s kinda supposed to be.

  15. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    February 20, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Joyce, don’t be like that.

    You’re from Indiana, you should know that whirlwinds are God’s way of punishing white people.

    • JebJeb
      JebJeb
      February 20, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      Living in Indiana can also be considered a punishment from God.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 20, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

        I view a world where all people of all races are equally miserable in Indiana.

        • AckAckAck
          AckAckAck
          February 20, 2013 at 3:40 am | #

          Indiana: “What’s wrong with me?”

  16. Taigan
    Taigan
    February 20, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    I’m hoping for an “emperor has no clothes” kind of blunt observation from Dina in the near future.

    • Questionor
      Questionor
      February 20, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

      Yea if Dina knows he’s gay, I can easily see her just bluntly saying “But he’s gay.”

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        February 20, 2013 at 3:41 am | #

        I can expect Joyce jump into denial.

  17. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    February 20, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

    Anyone know what Dina’s shirt says? It was obscured in the last strip too.

    Something about dinosaurs, obviously.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 20, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

      “No, Joe is not wearing my shirt. Quit asking”

    • ASmellyOgre
      ASmellyOgre
      February 20, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

      [most likely “Ask”] me why [something may be here] dinosaurs [obscured]athers

      That’s all there is.

      • ASmellyOgre
        ASmellyOgre
        February 20, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

        I’d guess it’s “Ask me why dinosaurs have feathers”

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 20, 2013 at 10:38 am | #

          Why do dinosaurs have feathers?

  18. lightsabermario
    lightsabermario
    February 20, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    The worst part of it is, Joyce is teaching Dina how relationships work. Let that sink in.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      February 20, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

      …This is a horrifying concept. I approve.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 20, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

      SHE’S GOING TO RUIN HER!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

    • Zap Rowsdower
      Zap Rowsdower
      February 20, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      Eh, that just means the student is inadvertently going to teach the teacher at some point.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 20, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

      Poor Dina, she needs to learn relationships from someone better… like ummm Danny??

      • Gordon
        Gordon
        February 20, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

        Anyone. Literally anyone.

        Like Joe. Let’s get Joe in here to explain it.

        • drs
          drs
          February 20, 2013 at 8:10 am | #

          Anyone? There’s always date-rape guy, to push the bar lower.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            February 20, 2013 at 12:31 pm | #

            There’s always Faz. You ALWAYS HAVE FAZ!

            • Mogotoo
              Mogotoo
              February 20, 2013 at 5:16 pm | #

              Do we? We haven’t seen him in the Dumbiverse yet, have we?

      • TPman
        TPman
        February 20, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

        Billie’s been doing pretty well on the relationship front. Maybe that’s who Dina should get her pointers from?
        Or Galasso’s right there. He had a pretty good grasp on things in Shortpacked!

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      February 20, 2013 at 3:44 am | #

      What if Dina is actually more knowledgeable about relationship and sex? I mean she love to study dinosaurs of course she also learn about their reproduction activity.

  19. spiridion
    spiridion
    February 20, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

    Oh gawd. Ethan, jewbro… just run away now and find a nice closeted lesbian to marry.

    • That Damn Rat
      That Damn Rat
      February 20, 2013 at 1:32 am | #

      Who said he hasn’t found a closeted lesbian to marry? If modern media has taught me nothing else, and it hasn’t, it is that the stronger your objections to and discomfort with homosexuality, the more likely you are gay. And this is not at all me trying to rationalise my JoyceXSal OTP.

      • L.K. Crocuta
        L.K. Crocuta
        December 30, 2014 at 9:38 pm | #

        I thought that only applied to political figures.

  20. DiDi
    DiDi
    February 20, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    Oh… oh this is just hilariously sad…

  21. Tom Speelman
    Tom Speelman
    February 20, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

    Awww, poor Ethan. He just looks so sad.

    • Cyth
      Cyth
      February 20, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

      I’d feel more sympathy if it weren’t for the fact that he’s using Joyce to fuel this silly nonsense of trying to scurry back into the closet, especially after what he put Amber through.

      • Josh
        Josh
        February 20, 2013 at 4:34 am | #

        To be fair I think he’s in the same position as us, he doesn’t want to, but he can’t take his eyes off the incoming trainwreak.

  22. The Cakemeister
    The Cakemeister
    February 20, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

    How has nobody commented on Joyce’s gigantic faz face yet?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 20, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

      Now I cannot unsee it… thanks a bunch! 😛

    • someguywithakatana
      someguywithakatana
      February 20, 2013 at 2:16 am | #

      That does bring up something that hasn’t occurred to me… It’s been a while now… Where is that little creep!?! What is he, hiding in Amber’s closet?

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        February 20, 2013 at 3:46 am | #

        Meanwhile……

  23. Somebody
    Somebody
    February 20, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

    What could possibly go wrong he said…

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      February 20, 2013 at 3:50 am | #

      That’s also what the Astronaut said in the ISS when they update the ISS with a new OS. NASA lost communication with the ISS for several hours during the OS update. Good thing it went back online afterward.

      News: http://www.theverge.com/2013/2/19/4005070/NASA-ISS-communication-breakdown

  24. LtSaraD
    LtSaraD
    February 20, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

    hehheh wow.

  25. Simian Bros
    Simian Bros
    February 20, 2013 at 1:21 am | #

    That is the elephant in the room
    Well is it relevant to assume
    that the man you’ve dated for fifty-two
    hours is, gay, totally gay?

    • Aslee
      Aslee
      February 20, 2013 at 3:55 pm | #

      And you, my friend, gget the highest of fives for that reference.

  26. HEYOUGUYZ!
    HEYOUGUYZ!
    February 20, 2013 at 1:21 am | #

    Second panel:

    KALIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

  27. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 20, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

    This relationship is like a trainwreck. So horrifying, yet I can’t look away.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      February 20, 2013 at 1:42 am | #

      Yeah, that’s an apt comparison. Popcorn of horror?

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        February 20, 2013 at 12:06 pm | #

        Yes, please.

  28. Regalli
    Regalli
    February 20, 2013 at 1:48 am | #

    Ooooh, Joyce. Good to see that some terrifying personality traits don’t change across universes.

    No matter how much we may want them to.

    So, who do we think’s going to be the other pair? Personally, I’m hoping for Amber and Danny to show up at some point, probably by coincidence, and Amber to end up unintentionally outing Ethan.

    • Raoullefere
      Raoullefere
      February 20, 2013 at 2:04 am | #

      I was about to say: This proves you change universes all you like: early, relationship-crazy Joyce appears to be a constant.

      • Khantalas
        Khantalas
        February 20, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

        Yes, but I’m assuming this Joyce wasn’t brainwashed and genetically altered by Head Alien, so she doesn’t have a justification for her craziness.

        A reason, yes, but not a justification.

        • dcmeserve
          dcmeserve
          February 20, 2013 at 2:26 am | #

          Just brainwashing from a more typical source (just look at her speech patterns).

    • Sir Robin
      Sir Robin
      February 20, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

      I’m thinking Dina mentions to Amber that Ethan was on a date with a girl, and this leads to Amber investigating

  29. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    February 20, 2013 at 2:30 am | #

    First: I don’t think Joyce has, will, or can be told by Ethan or anyone else that he’s gay. Joyce does not hear what she does not want to hear.
    Second: Zap R. I hope you were joking…”satanic rituals like in Harry Potter and Charmed”…..You gotta be joking…right?

    • That Damn Rat
      That Damn Rat
      February 20, 2013 at 2:44 am | #

      I thin k he was talking as Joyce would view them. Then again, if she likes twilight, she might be flexible enough to watch stuff like that.

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        February 20, 2013 at 11:04 pm | #

        Twilight displays proper Christian values by having the most prominent couple wait until after they’re married before engaging in that most vile of deeds. Also, the vampires are cushy vegans who only drink gopher blood or some shit. And there’s no magic? I guess? And if there is magic, it’s the proper kind that’s ok? Or something.

        I dunno.

        Look. I’ve never read Twilight, or seen the movies, but apparently it’s on the “Let’s not ban this book” list.

    • Sir Robin
      Sir Robin
      February 20, 2013 at 9:41 am | #

      Joyce has been told Ethan is most likely gay, by Dorothy

      • Sir Robin
        Sir Robin
        February 20, 2013 at 9:44 am | #

        In this strip

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/toy/

  30. Wixvhen
    Wixvhen
    February 20, 2013 at 2:40 am | #

    I hate to say this, but I honestly believe Mike is going to be the one to crack the baby over the skull on this one and put it out of it’s misery… Only because it will CRUSH Joyce, the one person who’s too innocent and pure to really destroy via his sarcasm and violence.

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      February 20, 2013 at 3:53 am | #

      The question is how well prepared is he? I know he’s a jerk chess player but in this universe he’s pretty mortal.

      • Legasher
        Legasher
        February 20, 2013 at 9:46 am | #

        It’s Mike. He mastered the Batman Gambit in the delivery room. If anyone were to die from this scenario, it would probably be Ethan. Clearly the whole thing about Sarah developing Mama Bear instincts for Joyce has been leading up to his messy end by her hand.

    • Nono
      Nono
      February 20, 2013 at 12:05 pm | #

      I hope Amber gives Ethan a good reaming out over this. Not wanting to be lonely isn’t a good justification for possibly sabotaging the happiness of at least two people.

      Funny how both Joyce and Ethan desperately want a relationship just so they won’t be alone. Maybe they have more in common than at first glance.

  31. Andiemus
    Andiemus
    February 20, 2013 at 2:43 am | #

    She’s crazy, he’s dashing into the closet so fast he’s in and out before the door even opens! Together they fight crime!

  32. Spazman
    Spazman
    February 20, 2013 at 3:08 am | #

    Ah….the New 52…….

    sorry, I had to.

  33. Dix
    Dix
    February 20, 2013 at 3:47 am | #

    It’s simple – Joyce is terrified of being without rules, boundries. She’s looking for something external to bulwark her against all the madness & sin she sees around her, and to give her some familiar stability. In other words, a very Joyce teenage rebellion 🙂

  34. AckAckAck
    AckAckAck
    February 20, 2013 at 3:57 am | #

    Oh Joyce, I thought you tone down your level of crazy a little bit in this universe. I was wrong. I wonder how long until she reach another mental breakdown when everything around her falling down.

    Also I wonder, is her “TP shoes” successful or not?

  35. Raen
    Raen
    February 20, 2013 at 4:56 am | #

    Joyce… freaking Dina can tell he is gay.

    • Mogotoo
      Mogotoo
      February 20, 2013 at 5:24 pm | #

      She can?

  36. E.C.
    E.C.
    February 20, 2013 at 4:59 am | #

    You don’t need to be Cassandra to predict that this will end in tears.

    • E.C.
      E.C.
      February 20, 2013 at 4:59 am | #

      By the by, I just LOVE how appropriate my gravatar is. ^^

  37. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    February 20, 2013 at 5:53 am | #

    And twelve minutes!

  38. scabbert
    scabbert
    February 20, 2013 at 9:26 am | #

    Waiting for the other shoe to drop here is killing me.
    Good God, Willis, she’s a struck doe flailing around on a highway shoulder. Time to put ‘er down.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      February 20, 2013 at 9:30 am | #

      5: agree strongly.

  39. Martigro
    Martigro
    February 20, 2013 at 11:37 am | #

    Ethan, seriously, RUN. Even if Joyce was a gay boy, I’d tell you to do that.

  40. Gnome
    Gnome
    February 20, 2013 at 1:55 pm | #

    In the name of all that is holy Ethan, this is being needlessly cruel. I know you don’t want to hurt her, but the more attached she gets the more hurt she’s going to be when she learns that you’re not into her. Come on man, have a heart, and give her that much needed emotional destruction that will force her to grow up a bit.

  41. Meghan
    Meghan
    February 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm | #

    I sympathize with Ethan, here. He’s only eighteen- he probably doesn’t fully understand his sexuality yet. It’s not like he’s leading Joyce on to be cruel- he’s probably hoping that he’ll fall in love with her somehow, that he’s not /really/ gay, that he can learn to be straight, etc. He may not just be simply faking or lying. We know that he’s gay and that this can only end in tears, but he doesn’t.

    • Andiemus
      Andiemus
      February 20, 2013 at 7:07 pm | #

      I disagree. Ethan has already seen that it didn’t work with amber, so why would he expect it to work here? He’s in denial or he’s a moron.

      • Aydr
        Aydr
        February 20, 2013 at 9:12 pm | #

        …you do realize that you just said that you disagree, but ended with “in denial”. You do realize that’s exactly the point Meghan was making, right? That he’s in denial?

        Emotions aren’t as straightforward from within as they are from an outsider’s perspective, man, especially when we’re talking about a fictional character whose sexuality we already KNOW for certain.

        • Meghan
          Meghan
          February 20, 2013 at 9:34 pm | #

          Especially for someone who’s frustrated with his sexuality and thinks that it’ll significantly impede his chances at happiness. He’s probably trying to rationalize it as ‘well, Amber didn’t work for me, but hey, maybe it’s just we were too close of friends? Maybe a girl I don’t know would work better?’ or ”I just wasn’t trying hard enough last time’, or something like that.
          He’s definitely in denial, but that doesn’t make him unsympathetic.

          • Andiemus
            Andiemus
            February 24, 2013 at 12:15 pm | #

            Being in denial is not something I sympathize with.

  42. John Madden
    John Madden
    February 20, 2013 at 2:46 pm | #

    Oh naivete.

  43. Ray
    Ray
    February 20, 2013 at 3:45 pm | #

    So, Dumbing Joyce is following in the footsteps of original Joyce, just with the out-of-the-closet gay dude instead of the dude that’s still hung up on his girlfriend that dumped him but may or may not be wanting him back.

  44. Thor
    Thor
    February 20, 2013 at 6:31 pm | #

    Is Joyce really copping a feel in panel 2?

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