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Dan used to be a VR operator until his brain got fried by malware. Now he's stuck delivering packages in a post-Soviet hellhole all while trying to adjust to his new life and find some answers.
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Solstoria
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Empowered
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Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
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The end of the world is coming, and Tove doesn't want to be a hero, but SOMEONE has to look after her little brother.
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A superhuman heist involving probably too many pigeons than entirely necessary.
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Number 1 would be the nickname for commander Riker in Star Trek: TNG
Number 2 would be well #2 of dr evil from Austin powers
#1& 2 piss, shit. Respectively.
I recognized #2 immediately — but had forgotten about Jean-Luc referring to Riker as #1.
And incidentally, Picard could (and would) eat Kirk’s cookies.
Are you sure it’s not Riker aka Number1 from Star Trek the next Generation (quite full of piss) and Dr. Evil’s main henchman Number 2 (who was da shit except when it came to sharks with lazers)?
See, I couldn’t remember the Austin Power movies for a while, and I had recently gotten Pocket God, so for like, a few months, I stupidly thought that the reference about sharks and lasers came from Pocket God. It makes me very sad that I can’t go back and erase comments from that time…
Why do you think Willis wears those Hawaiian shirts at cons? The colorful pattern disguises the fact that the whole thing is a Nachos Bell Grande. He just dips tortilla chips in it when nobody’s looking.
Naturally, while Douglas Adams may have made up the towel thing for the sake of humour, the fact is that IRL, having a towel within easy reach is very handy thing indeed, hardly a week goes by when having a towel on-hand proved to be quite useful.
I would have figured they would have gone inside by now. Just because they’re chainsaws doesn’t mean they don’t care about visiting their son, Buckets of Blood Guy.
The great Faz understands this joke. For he is very accumstomed to the act of sexual intercourse. See this graph clearly shows an increase in sexual encounters over time.
But… if you believe the religionists, Hell’s existed for practically forever, so she’d be really old and not young at all. And if you believe the atheists, Hell doesn’t even exist, so she doesn’t even exist! I don’t think you thought this comment through very well.
It just occurred to me that the Saruyamas might be 1st gen, too, in which case they could have different social rules. Not sure if this has been established yet.
#2 doesn’t look like George Baker, David Bauer, Patrick Cargill, Georgina Cookson, Guy Doleman, Clifford Evans, Colin Gordon, Kenneth Griffith, Rachel Herbert, Leo McKern, Mary Morris, Derren Nesbitt, Eric Portman, Anton Rodgers, John Sharpe, Andre Van Gyseghem, or Peter Wyngarde!
Hell, he doesn’t even look like Ian McKellen, and I usually refuse to acknowledge that series!
I just googled every name you said. I only recognized Leo McKern, and Gandalf, er I mean Magneto, er I mean Sir Leigh Teabing, er that gay British chap. Also I don’t know any time either of the 2 were refered to as “number two”.
Oh joy! oh miracle! I bet they are going to hug Dorothy so hard when they meet her she will be worried about losing braincells for being unable to breathe.
I am so happy for a light-hearted strip after all the drama. Granted, this is one Sal away from drama itself, but the shock/happiness from his parents had me laughing out loud.
Thank you Big Boss. You look so healthy, and youthful!
Actually, seeing Linda puts me in mind of a question I, and probably everyone else, has noodled; do the aliens and Martians exist in this universe? Or have they just never bothered to visit? Given infinite parallel universes, both are certainly possible.
I don’t know Walky, probably because they thought you had FUCKING BRAIN IN THAT GODDAMN EMPTY SKULL OF YOURS THAT WOULD REALIZE THAT MAYBE, JUST *MAYBE,* BEING ABLE TO DRESS YOURSELF DECENTLY SHOULDN’T BE FUCKING LEFT TO MOTHERS AND GIRLFRIENDS! MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE SOME GODDAMN RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, HUH?! ARGHHHHHHH!
… after weeks of abusive, clueless, and shitty parents, THIS is what gets my goat and finally makes me explode?
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Ahahaha they seem so happy
Happy and afraid and surprised and concerned and confused and OH GOD THIS ARC.
My reaction to this arc in general.
And here I thought I was the only one wondering “When will the hurting stop?”
Which means, I guess, that it’s a pretty accurate portrayal of a day full of parents showing up on campus.
Concur. And hey! At least Lil Walky was properly put away when the folks showed up!
Willis roller coaster of emotions! coming to 7 Flags near you!
With that creepy bald guy dancing at the entrance.
They must know how wonderful this new Mother/Girlfriend is.
My bf’s mum tried to hide it, but that was her reaction =o
I’m sorry, is it a specific reference, or just the fact one has an eye patch?
It’s Jason’s dad! Apparently in this universe he is a war hero/action star… Going with war hero since there is apparently a bomber below the picture.
I think that was more to illustrate that it is a room for “dropping bombs”.
Number 1 would be the nickname for commander Riker in Star Trek: TNG
Number 2 would be well #2 of dr evil from Austin powers
#1& 2 piss, shit. Respectively.
The fact that his mom gets it is awesome.
That makes more sense. I was thinking they didn’t look much like Cavil and Leoben…
I recognized #2 immediately — but had forgotten about Jean-Luc referring to Riker as #1.
And incidentally, Picard could (and would) eat Kirk’s cookies.
Johnathan Frakes (Beard) = Commander William T. Riker, called “Number One” by Captain Picard. Star Trek the Next Generation.
Robert Wagner (Eye Patch) = Dr. Evil’s number two man, called “Number Two.” Austin Powers.
Thanks! I needed this. I got as far as Austin Powers, but I assumed they had to be from the same show, so I drew a blank there.
It’s Riker, AKA “Number One” from Star Trek: the Next Generation and Doctor Evil’s second-in-command Number Two from the Austin Powers movies.
Are you sure it’s not Riker aka Number1 from Star Trek the next Generation (quite full of piss) and Dr. Evil’s main henchman Number 2 (who was da shit except when it came to sharks with lazers)?
See, I couldn’t remember the Austin Power movies for a while, and I had recently gotten Pocket God, so for like, a few months, I stupidly thought that the reference about sharks and lasers came from Pocket God. It makes me very sad that I can’t go back and erase comments from that time…
Aw, can’t Number Two please be Leo McKern???
There could be a different Number Two for every ‘episode’, even.
I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A FREE MAN!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv813f2Xtrg
Walky’s parents are confused at the lack of Butt-tacos
Oh no, the Butt-Tacos are omnipresent.
Butts for the toilet god! Tacos for the microwave throne! All hail the God-Emperor, whose flatulent words are law! All glory to the butt-taco!
So uh, you mean Nurgle?
I can’t tell if Walky’s parents are excited, shocked, or worried that this means the Apocalypse is nigh.
And then Dorothy walks in with a sign saying THE END IS NIGH.
THE END
IS NIGH
(Bar & Grill)
The Stars are Right
The End is Nigh
So why not have
Some Apple Pie?
Burma Shave
But she is a brony, so the sign will say: THE END IS NEIGH.
Yes, yes, and finally… yes
Knew it would be an atheist to bring about the end times
There is so much wrong with that statement I don’t know where to start.
“He’s found a girl! This means that the prophecy was right and the martians will once again come to end our existence!”
Linda: I knew this day would come from the day we sculpted him out of caramel.
Walky went on to become champion of the Amazons
The Caramellamazons, that is.
CaramellDansen?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_DV9b0x7v4
CARMELIGEEEDDDDDIIIIIIIIOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!
the ears, they bleed. you sir are in violation of the geneva convention.
Swedish does not sound as beautiful when rendered through a vocaloid.
To be fair, their reaction is completely justified here.
I know. I would’ve been scared his clothes would have bonded to him like some sort of sticky parasite.
Walky is part Spiderman?
nope, all Caramel
Part man.
Part Spiderman.
All Caramel.
IT’S WALKY.
Everyone want to lick him.
IT’S WALKY.
If he wore it any longer his hoody would start growling at any attempts to remove it.
I think that’s what happened to Danny in Roomies!
because after a while, seeing your son’s willy gets a little bit unacceptable.
willy, or won’t he?
That’s so happylicious!
Suddenly Walky is very relateable.
And I love the sign.
Great. I’m not the only one who got this reaction from my parents from my college girlfriend…
What is this? A reasonably well-adjusted family that doesn’t make me want to throw my computer across the room?
hold on a second Sal is gonna have to get in on this soon so save your contented sighs till then
Yeah, throwing in Sal will make it dramatic again, I hope.
Plot twist: Walky and Sal’s parents are bikers.
Throwing ‘Sal’t in the wound
Let’s not be hasty, now. There’s still time and so many opportunities for disappointment.
We(the readers) needed a break from the anvilicious and borderline evil parents, so we get these guys.
Awww….and here I am with the list of “a plethora of bad things I want to inflict on Blaine”
“Borderline”?
Some of them just crossed the border repeatedly.
Walky, you tend to solve the wrong problems.
Because you kept getting condiments on all the clothes we bought you!!!
That’s why they need to invent a shirt that provides its own sauces and condiments while somehow remaining tidy-looking.
Why do you think Willis wears those Hawaiian shirts at cons? The colorful pattern disguises the fact that the whole thing is a Nachos Bell Grande. He just dips tortilla chips in it when nobody’s looking.
That’s what your towel is for, if you’re a hoopy frood who always knows where his towel is.
Always bring a towel, because a towel is the most useful thing you can have as a traveller of the universe.
I keep a towel in my shoulder bag whenever I go out, I find a lot of uses for it regularly.
Ah. So you really know where your towel is.
Naturally, while Douglas Adams may have made up the towel thing for the sake of humour, the fact is that IRL, having a towel within easy reach is very handy thing indeed, hardly a week goes by when having a towel on-hand proved to be quite useful.
Well, so far they seem nice enough.
… Which leaves them meeting Sal.
I guess the Walkertons aren’t as evil as Yotome thought. So sad.
They left their chainsaws in the car.
Running, so the carbon monoxide can quietly cause severe illness to anyone who walks past.
(They also attached silencers to the chainsaws.)
The chainsaws are actually flailing wildly in the parking lot, maiming everyone who gets out of their cars.
Actively hunting them down.
Maiming the cars too
I would have figured they would have gone inside by now. Just because they’re chainsaws doesn’t mean they don’t care about visiting their son, Buckets of Blood Guy.
This makes a disturbing amount of sense.
That Number 1 and Number 2 bit is the best. Only the finest.
I would have put Nigel Uno and Hogie P. Gilligan up there but whatever.
Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr., you mean.
Yes, thanks for correcting me.
Heck, complete the circle and throw Kuki up there.
Just put all five and REALLY confuse people.
“What’s a Numbuh 4?”
The Toilenator’s arch nemesis.
Somebody get the plunger…
OF YOUR DOOM!
That’s a shart of substantial volume.
3’s a fart, 4 is vomit, 5 is related to the number of fingers used…
“My son’s not a virgin anymore”.
Unfortunately for the Walkertons, that’s a hurdle their boy hasn’t crossed yet.
Here’s to them being crazy about wanting grandkids like the Browns used.
*to.
Hopefully, I will be severely disappointed if this arc ends with no one begging for grand kids.
Here’s betting Blaine will.
“Make me a strong Hanma grandson!”
That’s Galasso’s job.
But you don’t have a son Mrs. … Amber’s mom!
Mr. Rosenthal is rectifying that right now.
Not to be confused with Erectifying, which is happening to Mr. Rosenthal now.
(Also Ethan whenever he sees Mike.)
I don’t think they’ll make babies that way, though…
Are you sure?
This would make for an awesome spin off comic.
Finally, back to the “not wishing a million deaths on family members” territory.
Lets not forget that they willingly sent their daughter off to a prison/convent (never mind that it wasn’t effective, it’s the thought that counts)
If Indiana was in Englland, Sal would have been sent to a borstal for girls.
Number One? WHO IS NUMBER ONE?
Smithywarbenjagermanjenson.
He is Number One…in BOOGIELAND!
Commander Riker?
You are Number Six.
I am not a number, I am a free man!
*Mocking Laughter*
TWO FOUR SIX OH ONNNNNNE
Number Nine
Number Nine
Number Nine
I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A MAN!
Wait I have a higher number then you eat it number six!
I am number Hat.
(yes that is a number)
Oh yeah? Well, I’m number T.
I am number banana.
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG.
I DON’T CARE! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!!!
In the Village, lower numbers mean you are more important, so you’ve just admitted to being unimportant.
But do you wear a purdy hat?
*PUNCH*
Number Man?
All you need is love
Nigel Uno.
“That would be telling.”
Walky’s mom looks young as hell.
So we need to keep her, Dorothy’s mom AND Amber’s mom away from Mike? Man this is gonna be WAY hard.
Not to mention Billie’s mom, if she shows up. And, considering Chekov’s Gun, she probably will.
Well, Blaine showed up.
You’re thinking of Chekhov’s gun. Chekov’s gun is a phaser.
no he it left back in `1980’s San Fransisco due to radiation from the Aircraft carrier Enterprise.
I had a feeling I misspelled it, thanks for correcting.
You are amazing.
So is Mike.
The great Faz understands this joke. For he is very accumstomed to the act of sexual intercourse. See this graph clearly shows an increase in sexual encounters over time.
This graph right here:
http://www.phawker.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Carlos-Danger-Businessweek-copy.jpg
Internet for you. Well played.
I saw that magazine in the break room at work. Cue double take and incredulous disbelief.
Just keep Mike away from the nickels. Problem solved.
Unless he start using Canadian nickels.
then he’d just appologize first.
Whay would you want that?!?!?! I, for one, would like to see that. For reasons…..
Whatever happens, make sure she stays away from Mike and Dr. Rosenthal.
But… if you believe the religionists, Hell’s existed for practically forever, so she’d be really old and not young at all. And if you believe the atheists, Hell doesn’t even exist, so she doesn’t even exist! I don’t think you thought this comment through very well.
what
Number One always looked better with a beard…
Agreedo.
Nice seeing Linda without alien PTSD and years of being terrible at her job behind her.
I know, right? Let’s see if the lack of trauma lasts.
Linda met Charles in ‘Nam. It wasn’t a very nice time to be there.
But love grew in war is a good bond for them.
It actually would be awesome if Linda was turned out to be a war veteran.
Wow, that bad huh?
Oh my God it’s so weird seeing the Walkertons without layers of crazy Drama Adventures surrounding them.
Well Walky’s dad was pretty drama free until he found out about the whole alien biz.
Well, how would you react about the whole alien biz?
Well first I would grab the cracked bat out of my little sister’s room.
You know, I can’t tell if you are referencing Earthbound or not.
Yes I am.
Just swing….
And maybe hit those half-full glasses of water, and hope water is dangerous to the aliens…
huh parents i dont hate, this is new.
Give them time. The Browns didn’t seem so bad when they first appeared either.
Bets are open.
I’m betting $10 they’ll be desperately promoting him to Dorothy, about 5 seconds after they meet.
But that’s not bad. It’s just normal embarrassing parent situation.
Yeah, but this is Walky we’re talking about. The guy who tries to sell himself short to everyone else.
Dorothy makes everyone seem inadequate in the eyes of their parents.
We still don’t exactly know how they treat Sal.
from how sal reacted before, I’m guessing they don’t…
What about the Sarumiyas?
Except for the whole “let Blaine into the dorm thing.”
Well, they are trying to be nice, so I’ll let them slide. Besides, they are so adorable!
It just occurred to me that the Saruyamas might be 1st gen, too, in which case they could have different social rules. Not sure if this has been established yet.
Ah, a reprieve from the Blaine Rage-Rampage.
Also a reprieve from wishing nuclear holocaust on any characters, too.
It’s sad, but I predict this will be my parents reaction if I find a girlfriend once uni starts.
#2 doesn’t look like George Baker, David Bauer, Patrick Cargill, Georgina Cookson, Guy Doleman, Clifford Evans, Colin Gordon, Kenneth Griffith, Rachel Herbert, Leo McKern, Mary Morris, Derren Nesbitt, Eric Portman, Anton Rodgers, John Sharpe, Andre Van Gyseghem, or Peter Wyngarde!
Hell, he doesn’t even look like Ian McKellen, and I usually refuse to acknowledge that series!
I just googled every name you said. I only recognized Leo McKern, and Gandalf, er I mean Magneto, er I mean Sir Leigh Teabing, er that gay British chap. Also I don’t know any time either of the 2 were refered to as “number two”.
They’re all the actors to have portrayed Number Two in the TV series The Prisoner, while Ian McKellen played him in the remake
Sooner or later, he’s gonna need a picture of Numbah Three from KND up on that door.
What’s a number 3?
When you excrete from everything. Y’know like babies do.
The sequel to Everything Poops is called But Not Everyone Does That And Maybe You Should See a Doctor.
Vomit?
Numbuh 3 is both, Numbuh 5 is too late, and I vote that Numbuh 4 is something clog-worthy (based on comment thread way up higher).
Corpse in the toilet.
Numbers one to seven
I was under the impression Number 3 was masturbating.
Oh joy! oh miracle! I bet they are going to hug Dorothy so hard when they meet her she will be worried about losing braincells for being unable to breathe.
Like Mike’s parents.
Believe it or not, that’s what my parents would’ve say too.
Number Two looks like Inferno!Brig to me.
(Hey maybe Jason’s dad is Inferno!Brig…)
(It’s probably obvious I haven’t read IW!)
I dunno, they’re not smiling…which means the overreaction is probably still in the works.
I am so happy for a light-hearted strip after all the drama. Granted, this is one Sal away from drama itself, but the shock/happiness from his parents had me laughing out loud.
Thanks for the brief breather, Mr. Willis.
And on the next page, Sal will join into the fun and everything goes to hell.
oh my gosh I just know, I was neerrrvous to see the comic for today
Oh gosh, I love Walky’s parents here.
She shamelessly clothes her Walky. Inviting others to unclothe him. The very depth of perversion!
What are you? A Ferengi?
In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s Star Trek reference day.
SERIOUSLY? Americans sure do have some strange holidays.
It’s more like “He’s mine, I can dress him sexy stuff and you all just drool over there. NO TOUCHY!”
Jeez this arc is full of silly faces, Joyce, Dorothy, Danny, Walky, Amber, hell even Blaine was doing that silly villain face!
Conclusion: Willis just wants to draw silly faces
Can’t say I blame him.
I swear I have emotional whiplash from this roller coaster…
Walky and Sal’s parents! Alive! with no mental and emotional baggage! I’m so happy I shed a little tear!
Thank you Big Boss. You look so healthy, and youthful!
Actually, seeing Linda puts me in mind of a question I, and probably everyone else, has noodled; do the aliens and Martians exist in this universe? Or have they just never bothered to visit? Given infinite parallel universes, both are certainly possible.
It has been known since DoA started (as in, Willis explicitly said so) that no, the aliens and Martians don’t exist in this universe.
Well, that’s what I get for coming to the party late.
Thanks!
Big Boss? Did she took out the Boss in this universe?
There’s a reason Big Boss is the dean here.
Yay… nice normal parents instead of the ones you wanna bash in the face!
Cute parents no less.
I liked Dorothy’s parents.
your gravatar disagrees
At this point, I’m wondering if Raidah’s parents show up.
Raidah isn’t a Freshmen.
…So…the Walkertons *aren’t* going to be into sacrificing kittens, then.
Oh, finally! A ray of hope in this Arc of misery! God bless the Walkertons!
But what happened with his unbuttoning pants and Mike’s family?
I was just about to ask that. Guess that’s a story for another time.
Heh. I like Walky’s parents. I’m glad there are parents that are talking that aren’t really grating.
It took Joyce’s a few days to become really unlikable. Who knows what these will be like a week from now? Or how they’ll treat Sal.
There is that.
I don’t know Walky, probably because they thought you had FUCKING BRAIN IN THAT GODDAMN EMPTY SKULL OF YOURS THAT WOULD REALIZE THAT MAYBE, JUST *MAYBE,* BEING ABLE TO DRESS YOURSELF DECENTLY SHOULDN’T BE FUCKING LEFT TO MOTHERS AND GIRLFRIENDS! MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE SOME GODDAMN RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, HUH?! ARGHHHHHHH!
… after weeks of abusive, clueless, and shitty parents, THIS is what gets my goat and finally makes me explode?
Chill dude, chill. Your goat needs to chill, too.
Nah, I prefer to roast my goat rather than chill it.
… let me just establish that we’re talking about the adorable little animal that you can eat, right?
You’re forgetting the possibility that maybe Walky doesn’t think dressing according to the rules of society is important.
You just unintentionally bongo slapped me.
Damn, sorry about that. If you want an intentional one, hold still…
What is WITH this violence that has suddenly overcome me?!
I glanced over the url and read it as “Just hanging out with my family secrets revealed.” :0
…that’s actually sort of an ugly shirt.
The point is that he’s wearing a shirt at all.
So his parents have a problem with him flashing his caramel abs?
It’s a treasure to women(and some men) everywhere.
I was thinking more along the lines of him wearing something different than a hoodie, but sure.
Hm, sounds like my mother…
LOL
That is SOOOO typical. I now walk around with a goofy smile on my face….
ok, so do they want to meet their son’s new girlfriend or talk to the non-delinquent version of their daughter?
This one made me laugh, the last two panels were perfect. I think I like Walky’s parents. Nice work Sir Willis.
…..Walkerton….you got issues. I like you, but you got some fucking issues, man.
ah that explains it. I was all “Well they cant be adopted because siblings come from the same parents.
but if they are fraternal twins from a mixed race couple then they could have any mix of their parents genes. Hence Sal being “more black”