Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Missed

by David M Willis on October 17, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Just Hangin' Out With My Family
└ Tags: dorothy, walky

Discussion (189) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Walky’s not the best negotiator…

    • Joe
      Joe
      October 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      This actually seems like a perfect deal, to me.
      I would give up a lot of things for head scratchies.

      • GrrArg42
        GrrArg42
        October 17, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

        It is the Klondike bar of massages…

        • Zach
          Zach
          October 17, 2013 at 12:43 pm | #

          (huff)…(grunt)…(pant)… “They will never find the body.”

          What would you do-oo!-oo for a Klondike bar!

          This is were EVERYONE’S mind goes when the commercials air during a crime show. They need to make a face intro to a law and order of this.

          • Zach
            Zach
            October 17, 2013 at 12:45 pm | #

            And I need an edit button.

            • All Else Fails
              All Else Fails
              October 17, 2013 at 8:04 pm | #

              What would you do for an edit button!

              • Zach
                Zach
                October 18, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

                Terrible, unspeakable things. Unpronounceable things.
                I would also cross frogs and spider monkeys like in that beer movie, just for fun. Go monkey go!

                • Tarkada
                  Tarkada
                  October 18, 2013 at 9:50 am | #

                  Mojo Jo Jo!

    • dragonbrain
      dragonbrain
      October 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Have you had the back of your head scratched before? If anything, Walky’s taking advantage of Dorothy’s anxiety ridden situation.

    • HMRC4EVR
      HMRC4EVR
      October 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      I don’t know. He got what he wanted out of it, and was able to support his GF’s decision to keep working without actually saying anything even resembling classwork.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 17, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Clearly you have not gotten the back of your head scratched.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        October 17, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

        Does doing it yourself counts?

        • taekwondogirl
          taekwondogirl
          October 17, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

          If you’re able to tickle yourself as well, I would say yes.

        • shadow eagle
          shadow eagle
          October 18, 2013 at 12:35 pm | #

          ~good point~

    • Pier
      Pier
      October 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Clearly you have not used this and have felt the “back of your head”-gasm it creates.

      • Zach
        Zach
        October 17, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        That thing’s almost enough to make me believe in sin. Imagin a cockroach caroling up your spine… from the INSIDE. Buy one! Torture your friends.

        • Vim-Hogar
          Vim-Hogar
          October 17, 2013 at 1:51 am | #

          And now I’m imagining a cockroach singing Christmas carols. Like, with a top hat and everything.

          • Zach
            Zach
            October 17, 2013 at 12:51 pm | #

            Oh my, yes. That’s actually pretty accurate accurate.

      • Bill
        Bill
        October 17, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

        That looks like something that would be more at home in an exhibit of medieval torture devices.

      • Jack Finch
        Jack Finch
        October 17, 2013 at 6:18 am | #

        This.

      • Aeyt
        Aeyt
        October 17, 2013 at 7:34 am | #

        I was at the mall twelve years ago, I was 18 then, when this guy at a booth offers to show me and my girlfriend that thing. We don’t know what it is so we’re like okay sure. Well I am SUPER sensitive and ticklish. Dude puts it on my head and I literally fell to my knees and started gasping at how amazing it felt. It was a bit too intense for me. I will never forget that day.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        October 17, 2013 at 11:25 am | #

        That looks amazing. Must try!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Well, he’s no Roger Smith.

    • trumpt_up
      trumpt_up
      October 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      Head scratches… mergleblergmlafherkjglkjgshknkg

  2. ironbillie
    ironbillie
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    The perfect couple. A Working female and her “dog”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      October 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      “Walkies!”

      • Jay Eff
        Jay Eff
        October 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Walky should be glad he’s with Dorothy instead of the girl in your avatar…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          October 17, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          But Osaka is such a nice girl. 😀

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            October 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

            Just a tad slow.

            • Shadow12000
              Shadow12000
              October 17, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

              Hey now, it’s thanks to Osaka’s insight that I stopped wearing shoes while inside my own house.

            • nothri
              nothri
              October 17, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

              Hey! She’s not slow. She just has a case of Attention Deficit something awful.

              • Andiemus
                Andiemus
                October 17, 2013 at 2:05 am | #

                She’s not too bright either.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  October 17, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

                  But she’s great with puzzles and word-play.

      • John
        John
        October 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

        I have fond memories of that dog.

      • Kiggy
        Kiggy
        October 17, 2013 at 11:05 pm | #

        Plasma, I love that Osaka avatar.

    • etyb
      etyb
      October 17, 2013 at 1:42 am | #

      Walky needs to change his name to Toto.

  3. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    And now he’s learning to be responsible for his Dorothy.

  4. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Wow, Dorothy…You’re just a TON of FUN.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      And by fun, you mean…snuggling?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      October 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Hey! She demands he touches her boobies. She’s damned fun!

  5. Lavaticmay
    Lavaticmay
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Man, no girl takes me up on that deal when I offer

  6. Doc Harleen
    Doc Harleen
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Stay on target… almost there…

    • Joker Two
      Joker Two
      October 17, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      We’re too close!…Loosen up!

      • Bill
        Bill
        October 17, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

        They came from behind!

  7. licoricepencil
    licoricepencil
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Y’know the scratching the back of the head thing here really works as an apology for having to study instead of watching cartoons….

    I maaaaaaay or may not have a somewhat similar relationship to Dotty/Walky. ONLY SOMEWHAT.

  8. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    October 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    My cat was pretty much the same way.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Not mine. Os sure, she makes it seem like I can get back to work if I scratch her head, but it’s never enough. She’ll hop up and somehow spread out so that her tiny six pound mass takes up 80% of the surface area of my desk.

      Belly rubbings WILL happen, and they will not cease until she is bored.

      • Shadow12000
        Shadow12000
        October 17, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

        Times like that call for distraction, so I keep a box and a bag of cat treats nearby. Cats just love boxes.

        • Zach
          Zach
          October 17, 2013 at 12:59 pm | #

          I have found my people. Cat people. Which is a separate thing from cat-people. If you ever go to a florists, ask for a flower box. Your cat will love it. They are 4ft/9in/9in. you will need scissors.

  9. Sammie1053
    Sammie1053
    October 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Walky: if he were real he’d be real-life comic relief.
    That’s the only proper way to phrase that. Saying a character in a comic is comic relief for the characters of said comic is sort of redundant.

    • Sammie1053
      Sammie1053
      October 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Did i just get redundant in a statement about redundancy? That’s, like, redundanception.

      • Mo
        Mo
        October 17, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

        This comment brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

        • Thasvaddef
          Thasvaddef
          October 17, 2013 at 4:09 am | #

          Ah yes, the good old D.R.D. Department

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            October 17, 2013 at 10:39 am | #

            I haven’t been visiting my DRD Department much since I forgot the PIN number for their ATM machine.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            October 17, 2013 at 4:46 pm | #

            Rumor has it, they made the DRD department redundant!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      So, in the comic setting, Walky is just relief?

      • Sammie1053
        Sammie1053
        October 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Y’know, that’s pretty much the gist of it. Thanks for simplifying my own words for me i guess? And congratulations on deciphering something i typed trying to be perceptive while in Sleep Deprived Rambling Mode.

  10. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    October 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    It’s the little things….

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      …that kills you.

      • Zach
        Zach
        October 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        *Kill. That kill you, like pedants.

        • Fay
          Fay
          October 17, 2013 at 5:43 am | #

          That statement sounded very grumpy with the Mike gravatar. But /everything/ sound grumpy with the Mike gravatar.

          • Fay
            Fay
            October 17, 2013 at 5:44 am | #

            Oooh, darn it… *sounds.

  11. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    October 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Now we just need tomorrows strip to be Danny seeing them happy together …

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      October 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Does Danny even care anymore?

      • Sir Robin
        Sir Robin
        October 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        It’s only been a couple weeks, and he just went through another breakup (maybe two, in his mind), so yeah, he’ll care

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          October 17, 2013 at 10:43 am | #

          I think he’s gotten to the level of mere resigned annoyance/disgust – and even that’s when he’s not distracted. At the moment he’s distracted.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      October 17, 2013 at 11:05 am | #

      God yes. I’m hoping for a moderately happy Danny one day, where he’s got his shit relatively together and settled things with Amber.

      🙁 It won’t happen for a long time.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        October 17, 2013 at 11:06 am | #

        Curse my non-sleep. Totally missed what was actually being said. xD

        Who knows though, that push may drive him in the right direction.

  12. taekwondogirl
    taekwondogirl
    October 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Awwwwwwwwww…. all the feels for both of them. 🙁

  13. mechaqua
    mechaqua
    October 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    All fun and no work makes Dorothy an anxious girl.

  14. Norj
    Norj
    October 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Alright I want to know what deep-seated trauma made Dorothy so obsessed with becoming President.

    • MR K
      MR K
      October 17, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      She wants to take over the world and make Satanism the only religion. At least that’s what Joyce”s parents think.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Know how Bruce Wayne chose to become Batman because he finds bats frightening? Dorothy is terrified of presidents.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        October 17, 2013 at 3:39 pm | #

        She’s going to fight crime dressed as George Washington?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Well, she could be wanted to be the very best, like no President ever was.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        October 17, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

        The irony is that Dorothy has some great ideas but however she does in college is NOT going to determine whether she’s President. That’ll be how she does with people and oratory as well as backroom dealing with the parties.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          October 17, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

          And this is why I never understand politics in the first place. It’s way too much self serving than what leaders supposed to do.

          • The Candyman
            The Candyman
            October 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm | #

            If anything, Mike is probably the most likely of the cast to become president. The most essential part of being in any position of authority is convincing people that you should do what they tell you to, by intimidation if nothing else, and Mike has that down.

            Of course, he would probably be president the same way Porfirio Diaz was.

      • pyrophobia
        pyrophobia
        October 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

        To be elected is her real test; to lead them is her cauuuuse

        • Pureed Madness
          Pureed Madness
          October 17, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

          She will campaign across the land, stumping far and wide

          • Portmanteaust
            Portmanteaust
            October 17, 2013 at 3:27 am | #

            This candidate, she understands
            the power that’s inside

  15. Scott
    Scott
    October 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Gold Five, standing by.

  16. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    October 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    It’s cute, really. There’s hope for these two after Dorothy’s studies.

    • David
      David
      October 17, 2013 at 4:16 am | #

      If you need to postpone life while studying, how could you hope to pick it up when working? Oh sure, you’ll pick it up once your job is steady. And then once you got that promotion. And then once you get the next. And then there is no more promotion, so you have to change jobs and work doubly in order to catch up and make yourself worth the pay increase.

      With that kind of attitude, you’ll have your coffin picked out and paid off before you even had a chance to start living.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        October 17, 2013 at 10:47 am | #

        Your best hope for happiness is to find another person with the same twistedly obsessed work ethic as you, so that you can keep telling each other that the stolen minutes and the effort itself qualify as real happiness. Walky is perhaps not the best person for that.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        October 17, 2013 at 11:54 am | #

        To be fair, most jobs don’t include a whole lot of essay writing in your off time.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          October 17, 2013 at 6:48 pm | #

          Not to mention the usual lack of advanced calculus.

      • Tom T.
        Tom T.
        October 17, 2013 at 11:24 pm | #

        Indeed. I wonder if Walky picked up on the fact that he is not one of her goals.

        • David Willis
          David M Willis
          October 17, 2013 at 11:30 pm | #

          She has expressly told him so, and he said “that’s fine by me!”, so I’d friggin’ hope he picked up on that!

          • Hotsauce
            Hotsauce
            October 21, 2013 at 12:01 pm | #

            I’ve seen enough lazily written romantic comedies to know that he either didn’t mean it, or he’ll change his mind. There will be a slow-motion run through an airport involved.

  17. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    October 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    And this is why I like these two together, again.

  18. Aizat
    Aizat
    October 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Wasn’t Gold Five the dude who got capped by Darth Vader?

    • Joker Two
      Joker Two
      October 17, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

      He’s the pilot of the 3rd Y-Wing killed by Vader.

      • Kevin
        Kevin
        October 17, 2013 at 2:15 am | #

        “They came from behiiiinnnndd”

  19. theKOT
    theKOT
    October 17, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    A brilliant girl having to study this hard as a freshman just seems unrealistic. How smart is Dorothy supposed to be, anyway? Do we know?

    • Bronze Knight
      Bronze Knight
      October 17, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

      Could be doing something silly like taking 21 credits.

      • That Damn Rat
        That Damn Rat
        October 17, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

        Actually I’m beginning to think Dorothy’s ambitions are greater than her abilities.

        • theKOT
          theKOT
          October 17, 2013 at 4:16 am | #

          It’s possible she was always big fish/small pond in her hometown without any true intellectuals with whom to compare herself. We’ll see, there ARE alternative explanations for her difficulties… just none that seem as likely to me.

      • theKOT
        theKOT
        October 17, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

        Even so, at the introductory level… I guess it could just be a lot of work, while none of it is particularly hard.

      • taekwondogirl
        taekwondogirl
        October 17, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

        I’d wager that she took AP classes in high school, and is in higher level classes to start with, other than the Gender Studies class. This is something I’ve wondered as well.

        • Quinctia
          Quinctia
          October 17, 2013 at 2:45 am | #

          I’m still finding this unrealistic, and I skipped Intro Bio and Intro Chem straight to Genetics and Organic Chem as a college freshman.

    • pyrophobia
      pyrophobia
      October 17, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

      … um i assure you this is entirely NORMAL and expected – no, demanded – behavior, *especially* at the freshman level.
      At a hypertypical/state-associated institution such as IU, all the large lectures (which are, of course, intended for underclassmen) are 20-80, meaning the professor teaches only 20% of the content they will be testing on in class, and you are expected to teach yourself the remaining 80% from the textbook on your own time.
      This is something that’s institutionalized – it’s considered perfectly acceptable or even standard for professors to teach this way. Never mind the wide range of learning styles and learning disabilities, it can also set up a lot of freshmen up for failure because they don’t know this going into their first year of college, and by the time they realize it it’s too late because they’ve already taken over the credit limit of courses and signed up for 5 clubs and got a job on campus and partied their pants off because they didn’t realize what all that “free time” they thought they had was actually for.
      It’d be one thing if all students were warned about this during orientation at every school, but it almost never happens, for a load of bullshit reasons. It’s finally a great big surprise when you start failing and you have no idea why. Dorothy is quite ahead of the curve here, either she was brilliant enough to realize this from the get-go, a guardian angel told her while she applied for college, or she just has study habits bordering on the inhuman that actually are serving her now. And you wonder why so many students complain about being zombies…
      And now you know where the phenomenon of “teachers not teaching the material” comes from. The argument is that it prepares you for real life; true, but even jobs have job training…
      For the record, SOP in high school is 80-20 – 80% of the test material taught by the teacher in class, 20% learned at home via readings/homework.
      … Whew, I wrote a small thesis here. Sorry guys!

      • theKOT
        theKOT
        October 17, 2013 at 4:10 am | #

        I have attended Community College and State University in America, and I spent a year at a Universiteit in the Netherlands. I am now a graduate student at a State University. This does not mean my experience is fully comprehensive, but I HAVE seen and heard a lot in my time. In general, the people I would earmark as smart don’t have much trouble in their first semester, especially not before the finals crunch. Typically the people who spend a lot of time in rigorous study before their third or fourth semester are those of more modest intelligence but possessing considerable motivation.
        Personally, I did study in my freshman year. Not NEARLY this much, though.

        • pyrophobia
          pyrophobia
          October 17, 2013 at 9:30 am | #

          U.S. state university student here… American universities are known for the system I spoke of in large lectures, which are of course all freshmen and maybe a few sophomores. This was admitted openly to my face by a dean at my school. Problem is, if you don’t pass the first big-lecture courses you can’t progress through your university career… and you can’t pass those big lectures if you don’t know how you need to do it.
          In my case, I was really intelligent, passed through high school with honors, barely needed to study in order to achieve top grades. I hit university and… Bam, hit a brick wall. Failed everything because I simply didn’t know what I was working with. Once that dean saved me by telling me this, I started succeeding again.
          And there is a measured phenomenon of this across the top state schools that still use this system. The smarter schools, including many privates and lately a few of the smarter public/state schools, have figured out why all the supposedly smart students they accepted onto their campuses are failing their first semesters and years and becoming massively discouraged; these schools have begun to drift away from the 20-80 system and teach the intro-level classes in smaller groups rather than several-hundred-student lectures. Europe had already figured it out a long time ago. I would guess that the U.S. university you went to was small enough to not consider this system, or smart enough to have stopped using it, or that you went to university here more than 15-20 years ago.

          • pyrophobia
            pyrophobia
            October 17, 2013 at 9:44 am | #

            I would also add that this isn’t a real problem in community colleges because they would also be too small to use giant lectures in the first place, with a few exceptions.
            Also, I read over your personal experience more closely, and while you surely have been in university here less than 20 years ago (mea culpa), this is a phenomenon that specifically began when college enrollment swelled due to the whole “everybody can go to college!” movement around 15-20 years ago.

            • theKOT
              theKOT
              October 18, 2013 at 2:39 am | #

              Yeah it was 6 years ago when I started. I was at community college for my first two years, so I polled some people I knew who went to the State or U of. These were people whom I consider rather intelligent.
              One said: I never studied
              Another: It was really easy, I was bored.
              Last: I had to do a lot of busywork, but I got to sleep on time every night.
              So it’s really not within the realm of my experience or those I know. But this was, including myself, a group whose majors were Math/Econ, Math/CS, Philosophy(physics minor), and Physics(math minor). So maybe that plays a role as well.

      • pyrophobia
        pyrophobia
        October 17, 2013 at 9:04 am | #

        Side note: this sort of system is marginally OK but only with advance warning (which is so often not given), but giant 250+student lectures are a terrible form of teaching in the first place, and the 20-80 method just exacerbates things.
        I’m interested in knowing what courses Dorothy is taking at the moment; we already know about the Gender Studies of course.

        • mechaqua
          mechaqua
          October 17, 2013 at 10:23 am | #

          I thought Dorothy was also supposed to be taking advance calculus as well. Which is pretty darn intensive course for a freshman. also Dorothy’s major may come into play when it comes to her workload. If she is in the hard sciences, which would account for a major course load especially if she took AP or IB, which means she would most likely skip some 100 & 200 level courses. She may be in the honors college, which if that’s the case it may explain her work load.

      • nick
        nick
        October 18, 2013 at 5:39 am | #

        That’s actually extremely useful info. Thanks for sharing, pyro

    • Portmanteaust
      Portmanteaust
      October 17, 2013 at 3:30 am | #

      I don’t know where you study, but this is pretty common in my experience. Besides, she’s probably aiming for HD’s in every subject, knowing Dorothy.

    • David
      David
      October 17, 2013 at 4:42 am | #

      Huh. I aced maths in gymnasium (which at the time you left after 13 years of school, aged 19). We had a new math teacher in my 5h/wk “power course” in math who did not believe in mollycoddling pupils. The curriculum included all the basics in analysis (sequences, series, limits, differentiation, indefinite and definite integrals and their theoretic underpinnings, proof theory, computational geometry and so on) anyway.

      Then I went to study (electrical) engineering at the university. The last two years of gymnasium were more or less rattled off in three weeks of higher math, and then without changing pace, two years of material were stacked on.

      Now the engineering courses in that university had some reputation. 800 started along with me. It was expected that half dropped out in the first two years of “prediploma” while half of the rest dropped out in the 3 years of diploma courses following. Note that the numbers are the official durations: you were free to do stuff differently, and the median was about seven years all in all.

      Now obviously, stuff depends on what you study and where. One problem with the liberal arts is that there is usually a tremendous discrepancy between the amount of work and studies you need to put in before you are capable of doing serious scientific work, and the amount of work and studies you need for getting a degree.

      My girlfriend at the time was studying Romance literature and languages. She took her profession seriously, and her work was so far off the chart that professors apologized for not being able to give her more than the best grades. She handed a philosophy (minor course) term paper in in her first year, and got it back with “Excellent. What for?” on it.

      Sort of deflating, so she went to his next speaking hours to check what that was supposed to mean. Turned out that he indeed could not for his life figure out what this was for: he thought that maybe he had negotiated some PhD thesis with somebody and this was the draft, but he could not remember doing so, and her name also did not strike a chord.

      Shit like that. When she finally did get her PhD, she decided to take an apprenticeship as scientific librarian since her opinion of what was happening at universities was basically lots of smoke and mirrors competing for funds in fake science, and she was not interested in spending her life on that sort of fight.

      At any rate: if you are giving your studies the kind of attention that its topics ultimately deserves, having aced school means nothing much. Now Dorothy’s ultimate goal was merely to become president, so she probably does not need to angle for “good enough to actually make the field move forward” but merely for “good enough not to be laughed at”.

    • Jelli
      Jelli
      October 17, 2013 at 9:38 am | #

      Isn’t Dorothy hoping to transfer to an Ivy League school? Now, granted, I have no idea what transferring between colleges, particularly to an Ivy League entails, but I’m guessing she’s doing an insane overload to be impressive. Possibly she’s planning on retaking SATs as well?

    • Reepicheep-chan
      Reepicheep-chan
      October 17, 2013 at 12:18 pm | #

      My freshman year was more intense in terms of sheer work hours than any other at the school I went to. Every credit hour was at least 2 homework hours or more. IDK if you could class me as “intelligent” but my 3.9 gpa in highschool did not consume nearly so much of my time.

  20. wynne
    wynne
    October 17, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    Walky, Walky. Stop lookin’ left in that first panel.

  21. Chengrel
    Chengrel
    October 17, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    Dorothy, you’ve turned off your targeting computer. What’s wrong?

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      October 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      You’re all clear, Dorothy! Now let’s blow this thing and go home!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      Yeah, there’s a kid in here.

  22. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    October 17, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    I think Dorothy should run for something on campus and realize people skills are more important than grades.

    And she is boned.

    She needs to try for something you can get on merit like Supreme Court Justice.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      But guess which gets constantly focused on by parents and society? That’s right, grades. Well, at least where I’m from.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        October 17, 2013 at 1:44 am | #

        I doubt any local college election would be decided by grades. At least not the ones where I was from.

        • taekwondogirl
          taekwondogirl
          October 17, 2013 at 1:52 am | #

          I think Aizat’s point is not about college elections; it is about how as a society we act like grades and GPA is the end-all-be-all in academia. Admitting that networking and socializing is more important would be an admittance to the fact that a lot of it equates to nepotism.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            October 17, 2013 at 2:14 am | #

            Exactly my point.

          • Portmanteaust
            Portmanteaust
            October 17, 2013 at 3:35 am | #

            Socialising is more important than grades? No more future for me, then, I guess.

        • silvester crow
          silvester crow
          October 17, 2013 at 8:10 am | #

          Maybe Dorothy could get elected the same way Robin kept her position as a senator in shortpacked. That’s right, twin mountains on national tv will get anyone elected.

          • John
            John
            October 17, 2013 at 11:22 am | #

            Robin was (and, in DoA, is) a Congresswoman, not a Senator. Robin’s pert jugs’ll get you a seat in the House, but, as we’ve seen recently in the real world, being a drooling moron will get you a seat in the House, too. If you’re aiming for the Presidency on the merits of your rack, it’s gotta be Billie-class.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        October 17, 2013 at 3:37 pm | #

        Well, as I recently told my daughter; in real life, nobody really cares about the marks, just get the degree. After the first job, nobody will ask for the marks, and the degree itself will also be less important.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      October 17, 2013 at 10:53 am | #

      I thought her entire plan was to only be here for a year or two, after which she’ll have gotten good enough grades to get into a REAL college. Grades may not get you elected, but law school admissions still seem to care about them.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        October 18, 2013 at 1:50 am | #

        Then the REAL issue for Dorothy is money. Especially since student loans have gone from being a way for the government to help to racketeering.

  23. Demon Something
    Demon Something
    October 17, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

    Oh Dorothy, dat homework life is some serious stuff…

  24. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    October 17, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    She is what we used to call a ‘grind’. (don’t know what the latest call is). She’s just a person who has to be grinding the books all the time to realize her goals.
    “What are we going to do tonight, Brain?”
    “What we do every Friday night, Pinky, take over the world”.

  25. Lel
    Lel
    October 17, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

    I know that feel, Dorothy. I know that feel.
    But unlike you I’m a shameless procrastinator who is inherently doomed.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      October 17, 2013 at 10:54 am | #

      We’re all inherently doomed. At least the slackers get to enjoy the meanwhile.

      • owltawny
        owltawny
        October 17, 2013 at 1:00 pm | #

        That is so deep. I’m never studying again!

  26. AckackAck
    AckackAck
    October 17, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    Chocolate Cat.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

      Porcelain Bunny.

      • TPman
        TPman
        October 17, 2013 at 2:04 am | #

        Velveteen Moose

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          October 17, 2013 at 2:31 am | #

          China Cat.

          • Bill
            Bill
            October 17, 2013 at 4:03 am | #

            Gingham dog.

            • Drakey
              Drakey
              October 17, 2013 at 8:02 am | #

              Vanilla Giraffe.

              I love that nobody is questioning any of what’s going on above here.

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                October 17, 2013 at 8:43 am | #

                Minty Bunny.

                • ninja_jesus
                  ninja_jesus
                  October 17, 2013 at 11:00 am | #

                  Rocky Road Rooster?

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  October 17, 2013 at 3:39 pm | #

                  Mango mongoose?

                • John
                  John
                  October 17, 2013 at 6:39 pm | #

                  Skin Horse?

                • cv0k
                  cv0k
                  October 17, 2013 at 6:47 pm | #

                  Truffle Triceratops

  27. Paul
    Paul
    October 17, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

    I’m with Walky; that feels *awesome.*

  28. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    October 17, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

    Panel 3 Dorothy is a Dorothy that is considering strangulation as a stress relief.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 17, 2013 at 2:15 am | #

      Or Dorothy slowly losing her sanity.

  29. Tahkuya
    Tahkuya
    October 17, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

    IS that an inuendo

    • TPman
      TPman
      October 17, 2013 at 2:04 am | #

      It IS.
      Actually, I don’t think it was.

  30. Kevin
    Kevin
    October 17, 2013 at 2:13 am | #

    YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH GOLLLLDDDD FFIVVVVVVEEEE!

    +1000 internets for Willis

  31. Mr. Morningstar
    Mr. Morningstar
    October 17, 2013 at 3:03 am | #

    Walky’s eye is on the bridge of his nose first panel.

    Looks a bit odd :I

  32. The Phantom's Belch
    The Phantom's Belch
    October 17, 2013 at 3:04 am | #

    “Stay on target.”
    “You’re too close!”
    “Stay on target.”
    “LOOSEN UP!” *BOOM!*
    “Gold Five to Red Leader. Lost Tyree, lost Hutch.”
    “I copy, Gold Leader.”
    “Came from behind.” *BOOM!*

    The moral of that? Watch your six and loosen up a bit, or you’ll go boom the moment you’re in charge.

    Dorothy should take note.

    • The Phantom's Belch
      The Phantom's Belch
      October 17, 2013 at 3:05 am | #

      … and I did that entire sequence from memory. *GAH!*

      (Well, it *was* the first movie I saw in the theatre, at age 6, when it was first released….)

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        October 17, 2013 at 3:38 am | #

        So? I still remember the entire fight in the 1st Tenkaichi Budokai tournament arc…even though I watched it when I was 6.

      • JustcallmeSoul
        JustcallmeSoul
        October 17, 2013 at 3:52 am | #

        and… … … jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, dodge left, jab, dodge right, jab, dodge left, dodge left, dodge right, jab…

        how to beat Mike Tyson in round 1 in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          October 17, 2013 at 10:59 am | #

          Where were you when Game Grumps attempted this?

      • nick
        nick
        October 17, 2013 at 5:52 am | #

        My friend and I used to do the entire “English motherfucker, do you speak it?!” routine from Pulp Fiction in middle school.

        • andiemus
          andiemus
          October 17, 2013 at 6:55 am | #

          “What ain’t no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?!”

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            October 17, 2013 at 8:44 am | #

            “What?”

            • nick
              nick
              October 17, 2013 at 4:56 pm | #

              DOES MARSELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE A bongo?!

              • All Else Fails
                All Else Fails
                October 17, 2013 at 8:13 pm | #

                “…What?” *gets shot*

                “Say what again! I dare ya! I double dare ya motherfucker! Say what one more goddamn time!”

                • Rouge Mage Nick
                  Rouge Mage Nick
                  October 17, 2013 at 8:19 pm | #

                  Que?

    • JustcallmeSoul
      JustcallmeSoul
      October 17, 2013 at 3:47 am | #

      is there an “Almost there” in there somewhere?

      • The Phantom's Belch
        The Phantom's Belch
        October 17, 2013 at 4:17 am | #

        That was in Red Leader’s run, in the second assault run. Gold Squadron was the first assault run, Gold Leader (Hutch) with Golds Two (Tyree) and Five (Pops).

        Luke’s run with Biggs and Wedge was the third assault run.

  33. Super Duper
    Super Duper
    October 17, 2013 at 3:37 am | #

    Dorothy, never play Pikmin.

  34. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    October 17, 2013 at 6:24 am | #

    They came from behind indeed.

  35. hof1991
    hof1991
    October 17, 2013 at 7:10 am | #

    Maybe in panel 3, she is remembering that her goal is to leave Wally and Joyce in the rear view mirror. Really, she would be better off graduating from the Big Ten and planning an Ivy grad school.

    That said, my governor is a college dropout and my rep is best known for being on a reality TV show. Not sure if a Ivy degree that represents hard work rather than legacy is that helpful in politics.

  36. hof1991
    hof1991
    October 17, 2013 at 7:13 am | #

    And my grab is gone again. I swear they come and go.

  37. hof1991
    hof1991
    October 17, 2013 at 7:14 am | #

    Damn autocorrect, my grav is gone. Though my grab may be gone too.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      October 17, 2013 at 10:57 am | #

      My gran is gone, but it was her time.

  38. Kerry
    Kerry
    October 17, 2013 at 8:17 am | #

    I really wanna see a graph of total comments for each strip over the course of DoA’s run.

    In fact… *runs off to make it*

    • Kerry
      Kerry
      October 17, 2013 at 9:53 am | #

      Here’s Freshman Family Weekend’s graph so far (excluding this strip): http://imageshack.com/a/img189/9784/uj8c.png

      Writer has the most comments (obviously), followed by Moral foundation. Ironically, Neighbor has approximately 30% less comments.

      Average number of comments per character:

      1. Ethan (482)
      2. Joyce (450)
      3. Amber and Dina (356)
      4. Dorothy (330)
      5. Danny (307)
      6. Sal (280)
      7. Ruth (278)
      8. Mike (269)
      9. Walky (256)
      10. Billie (255)
      11. Sarah (211)
      12. Joe (210)
      13. Roz (163)

      So… just going by comment count, Danny is more popular than Ruth and Billie.

      guys we fucked up

      Nah, but seriously, Ethan, Joyce, Amber, and Danny have been at the epicenter of this storyline’s drama. Of course, that could change in the coming weeks. I’m expecting more Sal stuff tomorrow (DoA time).

      Thus concludes an incredibly nerdy report. /bows

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        October 17, 2013 at 11:32 am | #

        That is amazing. Also, that doesn’t mean Danny is more popular, it means he’s more contentious. ;p

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        October 17, 2013 at 3:36 pm | #

        wow, well done!

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        October 17, 2013 at 5:12 pm | #

        Ruth and Billie are more popular than Danny, we just like to bongo about him more, is all.

      • Kerry
        Kerry
        October 17, 2013 at 8:13 pm | #

        Why thank you guys! :B

        And yeah, a good third of those comments tend to be Danny-hate.

        • Tahkuya
          Tahkuya
          October 17, 2013 at 11:42 pm | #

          Only a third are Danny hate? huh seems like more than that *cough** yotomoe**cough

          • John
            John
            October 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm | #

            How come Yotomoe always gets all the credit for the Danny-hate? What about Thor? What about me? Is it because I don’t post cute fanart?

  39. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    October 17, 2013 at 10:36 am | #

    Now’s the perfect moment!

    Tell her you love her dude! She’ll make you breakfast and shit!

    • someguywithakatana
      someguywithakatana
      October 17, 2013 at 10:41 am | #

      That’s movie reference… not a… not a sincere declaration of misogyny… Wanted to make that clear…

  40. Kryss LaBryn
    Kryss LaBryn
    October 17, 2013 at 12:13 pm | #

    Is it just me, or is “I’ll not ask…” a bit British for Walky? Wouldn’t he say “I won’t ask…”?

    Maybe he just came from a class with Jason, heh…

    • Random832
      Random832
      October 17, 2013 at 1:00 pm | #

      There’s a subtle distinction, where “not asking” is a specific thing someone is saying they will do.

  41. davidbreslin101
    davidbreslin101
    October 17, 2013 at 1:48 pm | #

    “That’s good. Now… do behind my ears?”
    “Stop panting, Walky.”

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      October 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm | #

      And stop kicking that leg.

  42. nick
    nick
    October 17, 2013 at 4:58 pm | #

    Walky’s probably thinking to himself: Ya know Dorothy, maybe Joyce can help you relax a bit…

  43. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    October 17, 2013 at 8:16 pm | #

    Is it just me or did Walky get kinda watered down since the whole run-in with Joyce’s parents?

  44. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    October 17, 2013 at 9:01 pm | #

    Yeah, keep touching me until we get to a room. That’s the ticket.

  45. Creaks
    Creaks
    October 18, 2013 at 9:26 am | #

    Head scratchies are awesome.

  46. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 14, 2015 at 9:03 pm | #

    “purrr”

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609184... 5 hours left on my 4-jet titans return tidal wave
header image - Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
Check out those stickers. They make him look pretty great, actually. That aircraft carrier mode shines. Tidal Wave is loose and incomplete! So there's only four (4) jets!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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reposted by David M Willis!
dril.bsky.social's user avatar
wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Stop making the one toy I want the super-expensive chase, Auldey!!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
And that's why you have Jesus wear a condom!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's #webcomicday? We have a special day??? Well, my name is Pat McHoarney and I draw 69 Mouse-Ear Blvd, a multigenerational story about women who all have sexy legs and probably other features. There was a grandmother, but she wasn't hot and so she died off-panel.
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reposted by David M Willis!
bsweet.bsky.social's user avatar
hoanna newsom @bsweet.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
nytimes.com's user avatarThe New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans, sitting closely on a couch. A headline reads:
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Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
That's the most upsetting LEGO Thing minifig possible
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
LEGO Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four: First Steps Fantastic Four vs. Galactus will release June 1st ($59.99) - bit.ly/3F4uRci #ad
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
what's going on with tariffs right now i dunno, what time is it today
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reposted by David M Willis!
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Chet @sealless.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
This @bransonreese.bsky.social four panel is never completely out of my head.
Four panel comic by Brandon Reese titled Animal Crackers.  In each panel Groucho Marx is speaking.

1 - One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas 
2 - How I worked up the courage to kill a living thing I'll never know.
3 - (silent)
4 - They mourn their dead, as we do.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609767... selling my netflix war for cybertron megatron -- the walmart exclusive one that came with pinpointer and lionizer (but being sold here without pinpointer and lionizer)
header image - Transformers Siege Netflix Megatron complete Hasbro WFC Generations Voyager | eBay
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Transformers Siege Netflix Megatron complete Hasbro WFC Generations Voyager | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Siege Netflix Megatron complete Hasbro WFC Generations Voyager at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many prod...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Gran... IS ALIVE? okay, juliette still has brown hair, so this is probably definitely a flashback i'm just surprised that the comic has remembered her, at all
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