Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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no you can't have riley happily eating cereal, you will have this
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May 12, 2026

Problem

by David M Willis on February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (185) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Billie you’re ripping it

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

      and WHY can’t we have Riley eating cereal, you suck Willis

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

        I like to think that even if we can’t see it, she is indeed happily eating cereal somewhere.

        • Jonrock411
          Jonrock411
          February 15, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

          She is ALWAYS eating cereal

          • Jay Eff
            Jay Eff
            February 15, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

            Tomorrow, we’ll get Billie eating cereal.

            Wheaties, to be exact.

            Because the Breakfast of Champions is also the Dinner for Losers.

            • Cody B
              Cody B
              February 15, 2014 at 9:17 am | #

              Riley is like a cooler version of Flynn from Breaking Bad.

        • Ocbrad1
          Ocbrad1
          February 15, 2014 at 10:56 am | #

          It’s about the only positive thing we can count on from Willis.

          • Justin
            Justin
            February 15, 2014 at 12:05 pm | #

            Am i the only one who’s a little worried? Are you feeling ok Willis? you can tell us, we’re your friends. we can help you : /

            …

            Unless i’m wrong and you ~are~ just toying with us like the puppetmaster you are~ 😉

      • Geminia999
        Geminia999
        February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

        Because he’s looking at toys in New york, too busy to draw cereal eating (even though this is of course written several weeks in advanced)

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 15, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

        Because he hasn;t has his daily requirment of your bitter tears yet. :3

        • Lou
          Lou
          February 15, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

          Linked this below but seemed more appropriate here.
          http://data2.whicdn.com/images/57338344/original.jpg

        • John
          John
          February 15, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

          [Riley eating cereal and reading DoA]

          Dumbing of Age! Provides 100% of your US recommended daily allowance of bitter tears! Part of this complete breakfast.

      • HAB
        HAB
        February 15, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

        He really does.

    • Alan Lafond
      Alan Lafond
      February 15, 2014 at 1:50 pm | #

      Not ripping, just pulling down. It was only held up with pushpins. They don’t hold into the corkboard strongly enough to rip a fabric.

  2. Phil
    Phil
    February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    No, noooo!

  3. Deathjavu
    Deathjavu
    February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    happy to report i spent hatentines day drinking

    effect was numbing, as hoped

    • Just Cheeto Dust
      Just Cheeto Dust
      February 15, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Oh shit, I spent that whole day sober somehow. I think the only relevant thing I did was downloading and buying Valentine’s Day DLC in Grand Theft Auto Online for all of ten minutes before not caring anymore and going back to Bravely Default and Borderlands 2.

    • rachel
      rachel
      February 15, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      you’ve pretty much been my favorite commenter for a long time here

      • Deathjavu
        Deathjavu
        February 15, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

        fistbumps?

        *fistbump*

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 15, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      Valentine’s Day is overrated.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      February 15, 2014 at 3:35 am | #

      I spent it looking at townhouses and confirming, yes indeed, this area’s housing market sucks

  4. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Fuck this uniform in particular.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      February 15, 2014 at 2:03 am | #

      THAT won’t make it onto Slipshine . . .

      • John
        John
        February 15, 2014 at 2:43 am | #

        You know that somewhere out there in the depths of the Internet, there’s someone whose very specific fetish is curvy half-Asian girls in glasses drinking booze and getting off using cheerleader uniforms.

        They will be so disappointed.

  5. HAB
    HAB
    February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Welp that’s that.

  6. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    February 15, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    I’ve been away from the comments for a while, but bad Billie!!! (not about the ship, I don’t care, just that was really selfish and stupid of her)

    • diploducks
      diploducks
      February 15, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Yeah mentally and physically abusing someone into forming a codependent relationship with her was a really selfish thing to do.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        February 15, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

        Yeah, but the worse thing was when she made a promise to Ruth, understood the possible consequences, and decided to continue. She could have come clean to Ruth, stated that she wouldn’t quit unless she got out of control. Anything, but she lied to someone who clearly cared about her.

        Now obviously we’ll disagree about the extent to which Billie is responsible for Ruth. I vote that she became responsible for her promises and Ruth’s reactions to such, to an extent.

        • Sam
          Sam
          February 15, 2014 at 2:23 am | #

          To be slightly fairer to Billie, she DID try to quit, she managed roughly three days. Which is a fair first attempt for someone that is essentially a severe alcoholic trying to quit all at once. Sadly though, someone like Billie who drinks for enjoyment rather than out of pain is likely to find it much harder to quit that way than someone who just needs reminded of the benefits of their quitting.

          Even if Billie wants to quit, it is very difficult to do so when it is something you enjoy rather than something that seems to be destroying you mentally. Billie’s situation is different from Ruth’s and though she obviously indulges too much, the problems she causes are for other people (and her poor organs that are being damaged) so it is harder for her to accept that her own drinking is a real problem, especially when there is little-no obvious harm coming to herself as a result of the drinking.

          Billie’s situation was really a bad one, and she is lucky that Ruth has actually shown her that her drinking can hurt other people, even if it sadly meant they both had to be hurt for it to occur.

          • John
            John
            February 15, 2014 at 2:46 am | #

            Billie’s non-responses when Ruth interrogated her about it kind of imply that she was lying to Ruth even about the three days, and Word of God confirms that. So, no, she didn’t actually try. Which is why I’m really annoyed with her.

            • Sam
              Sam
              February 15, 2014 at 1:07 pm | #

              I never saw him state that, sorry. The non-responses to me just seemed like guilt from failing and then not telling her about it. XD

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            February 15, 2014 at 6:53 am | #

            Except Willis has stated that three day thing is just a lie. She never even tried.

            • Sam
              Sam
              February 15, 2014 at 1:02 pm | #

              I didn’t see him state that. Sorry.

        • diploducks
          diploducks
          February 15, 2014 at 3:15 am | #

          “Yeah, but the worse thing was when she made a promise to Ruth, understood the possible consequences, and decided to continue. ”

          No I’m p. sure the worse thing was the mental and physical abuse, by the person who mentally and physically abused the other person into forming a codependent relationship with them.

  7. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Not a Cheerleader. Problem starter.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 15, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Problem Headleader. Cheer solver.

      • Ph34rFrag
        Ph34rFrag
        February 15, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Cheer Problem. Leader Head-Starter.

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          February 15, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          Head Problem. Leader starter, cheers!

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            February 15, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

            Cheer Head Leader; Starter Problem.

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              February 15, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

              Starter Cheer. Head Leader Problem.

              • ninja_jesus
                ninja_jesus
                February 15, 2014 at 2:02 am | #

                Odder, perverse, macabre hellhole.

                • saltchocolate
                  saltchocolate
                  February 15, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

                  Starter, cheater, slobber, sobber.

                • Jen Aside
                  Jen Aside
                  February 15, 2014 at 3:37 am | #

                  olive cars
                  and olive trucks
                  and olive chickens
                  and olive ducks
                  and olive socks
                  and olive garters
                  and olive breaks
                  and olive starters

              • Gamaran Sepudomyn
                Gamaran Sepudomyn
                February 15, 2014 at 9:38 am | #

                Head leader. Problem starter cheer.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 15, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      The only head cheerleader that solves problems I know of was Kim Possible.

      • MM
        MM
        February 15, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        There was Claire from Heroes. Though she wasn’t so much a problem solver as the solution to a problem.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          February 15, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

          Nah, she _was_ the problem.

      • nothri
        nothri
        February 15, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        Buffy?

        • Zababcd
          Zababcd
          February 15, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

          And to a lesser extent, Cordelia.

    • Just Cheeto Dust
      Just Cheeto Dust
      February 15, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      I’m the problem starter, fucking instigator.

  8. Super Duper
    Super Duper
    February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Wait, who is the boy in the photo?

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Andrew Garfield, I think.

      • Van Dyne
        Van Dyne
        February 15, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

        I thought it was Robert Pattinson at first, but yeah. Andrew Garfield.

        Also relevant

  9. MM
    MM
    February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    So how much angst must we consume before we can have Riley eating cereal for dessert?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 15, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Willis would sooner Create an angst gun to fire angst directly into our hearts than create something happy atm.

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        February 15, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Off-topic: Yotomoe! New gravitar! Woo!

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        February 15, 2014 at 8:56 am | #

        I don’t even recognize you anymore, man.

    • OldFart
      OldFart
      February 15, 2014 at 7:34 pm | #

      Willis will give Riley full-on celiac disease so that she can never enjoy cereal again. Sure, she could eat gluten-free cereal, but she won’t enjoy it because gluten-free anything is crap.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        February 18, 2014 at 3:45 pm | #

        Well, not everything. My son has Celiac, and we have found some stuff that is not horrible, and even a few things that are pretty good.

  10. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Solve this.

    No, seriously, solve this. You need to.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 15, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Water is sometimes called the universal solvent…

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        February 15, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        But liquor is quicker!

        • KingMabel
          KingMabel
          February 15, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

          How about some vodka?

          • saltchocolate
            saltchocolate
            February 15, 2014 at 2:07 am | #

            It’s hard to tell if vodka helps.

            • MrMyerst
              MrMyerst
              February 15, 2014 at 4:26 am | #

              It never solves the problem, but it helps you forget it.

              • xKiv
                xKiv
                February 15, 2014 at 1:47 pm | #

                It solves the problem of remembering the problem.

  11. Doc Harleen
    Doc Harleen
    February 15, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    :*(

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 15, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      \(>o<)ノ

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        February 15, 2014 at 3:39 am | #

        \(゜ロ\)

        (/ロ゜)/

    • Tacdud2
      Tacdud2
      February 15, 2014 at 1:17 pm | #

      (́◉◞౪◟◉)

  12. Vex Godglove
    Vex Godglove
    February 15, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Billie, you were supposed to go after her, not stay and feel sorry for yourself. Guilt is only good if it prompts you to correct your mistakes.

    • Shogouki
      Shogouki
      February 15, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      You are correct sir!

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        February 15, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        Indeed!

    • MM
      MM
      February 15, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      I’m really not sure it’s safe for anyone to be within fifty feet of Ruth right now.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        February 15, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        50 feet = death.
        100 feet = you get hit with femur shrapnel.

        • MM
          MM
          February 15, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          Meh. You gotta figure by now everyone’s learned to wear protective gear when they go outside.

    • hoovy_woopeans
      hoovy_woopeans
      February 15, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      oh please, like Ruth would have heard any of that? Billie’s intelligent enough to know that she fucked up, and needs time to think of a way to solve this problem, if she even wants to. Chasing after Billie would have just created bigger issues.

    • gangler
      gangler
      February 15, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      In the moment resolutions are worthless anyway. Always go for “I fixed my shit, I’m sorry” instead of “I’m sorry, I’ll fix my shit.”. The latter only communicates how sorry you are that you got caught.

      • nothri
        nothri
        February 15, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

        Well, either way I don’t think “I am not apologizing because I didn’ have a problem in the first place!” was her shining moment.

        • gangler
          gangler
          February 15, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

          No, of course not. Just that chasing after Ruth would’ve been the wrong move. Now that we’re here the conversation can’t really continue until she’s got some actions to back up her words.

          • nothri
            nothri
            February 15, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

            Yep. Sometimes the only way to solve things is to spend time apart.

            • shadowcell
              shadowcell
              February 15, 2014 at 7:02 pm | #

              ‘sides which, let’s be honest, even on her best days Ruth is given to abusing her power as RA. and she’s already got a (brief) history of violent instability towards Billie. now she’s angry and hurt–and she’s still a violent, unstable person given to abusing her power.

              so, uh…maybe the safest thing to do is transfer to Arizona State or something.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      February 15, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

      Dumbing of Age: Where no one immediately goes after anyone after drama happens.

  13. Lou
    Lou
    February 15, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Alt text kills me. You could have thrown a panel in the middle dangit! Just for some contrast! 😛

    • carl320
      carl320
      February 15, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Or finished it with a Riley panel. “College is awesome!” while eating cereal.

      • Lou
        Lou
        February 15, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

        even better!

  14. Quatoria
    Quatoria
    February 15, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Aaand Billie’s going to let her walk off, and beat herself up, and it will be weeks or months before we see any happiness there. Hopefully not until the next time Ruth tries to hurt herself or drink herself into a stupor. Okay, everybody, see you tomorrow night for our next scheduled weeping session!

  15. gangler
    gangler
    February 15, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    It almost sounds like she thinks there might be a problem that needs solving right now.

    Let’s wait to see if she elaborates on that thought.

  16. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    February 15, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    well hey look at it this way billie now you’ve got a problem to solve!

  17. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    February 15, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    I’d like a looping gif of Riley eternally eating cereal actually, please.

  18. GoSpeedRumpist
    GoSpeedRumpist
    February 15, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Truthfully, Billy really helped Ruth out a lot. Unfortunately she did it by lying. Hopefully this will not end with Ruth having to (unnecessarily) kick down her door after pulling a fire alarm. I love this ship, but I think Billy really needs to confront her drinking problem more than she needs hot lesbian action right now, which, I admit, sounds crazy. Btw, happy Valentines day everyone!

  19. Fuzzydaemon
    Fuzzydaemon
    February 15, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Billie IS an alcoholic and will defend her drinking to the death. She would rather give up Ruth than the booze.

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      February 15, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      And that is why we will never see them together again…

  20. MightionNY
    MightionNY
    February 15, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Actually, a cut to Riley eating cereal would have been PERFECT.

    Especially Apple Jacks or Fruity Pebbles.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      February 15, 2014 at 3:40 am | #

      She eats what she likes!

  21. diploducks
    diploducks
    February 15, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Looking forward to a thread full of people dumping on Billie because Ruth starting their relationship by mentally and physically abusing her happened like, five entire minutes ago and also it was funny so get over it.

  22. Lou
    Lou
    February 15, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Also, this time the problem is YOURS, Billie! So you’d best put down the bottle, put on that uniform, march over there and SOLVE IT MISSY!

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 15, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      But that’s not her uniform.

      • Lou
        Lou
        February 15, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

        Does it have to be? It’s A uniform!

      • gangler
        gangler
        February 15, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

        That sounds like loser talk. Conquerors take! It becomes yours when you make it the instrument of another’s destruction!

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      February 15, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

      why YOURS ebenezer

      richest man in the cemetary

      • Lou
        Lou
        February 15, 2014 at 2:40 am | #

        You’ve got a perfect spot here for another sexytimes comic! Just have Billie put on the uniform, take off her underwear and make things right! What’s that? It probably won’t work out that way and much angst will be had by all? Well crap.

  23. Graq
    Graq
    February 15, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    The position of those blue pins makes it look like the cheerleading outfit is having comic strip sweatdrops of distress as it’s being pulled. Even the scenery is emotional.

  24. Alex Stritar
    Alex Stritar
    February 15, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    No Riley? Willis, why are you so mean?

    • Lou
      Lou
      February 15, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

      This is why
      http://data2.whicdn.com/images/57338344/original.jpg

  25. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    February 15, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    “Reads Alt-text”
    BOOOO, Willis…you suck!!!!

    • Badeyes
      Badeyes
      February 15, 2014 at 3:43 am | #

      Get with the program, it’s “Damn you Willis!!”

  26. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    February 15, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    No no no no nonononoNONONONONONONONNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  27. rachel
    rachel
    February 15, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    *DIES*

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      February 15, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Aww, rachel… Don’t take it so hard.

  28. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    February 15, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Eh, Riley eating cereal was adorable for a couple of strips. Beyond that, it’s not that interesting from a storytelling perspective.

    Now, Joe and Sierra… that could be interesting!

    (What? I meant Joe and Sierra playing with Transformers. What’d you think I meant? 😉 )

  29. Dorsilus
    Dorsilus
    February 15, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

    Man, remember when this comic was all happiness and goofy characters? I mean, I love it now even more but damn I don’t know how much more my heart can take.

    • nothri
      nothri
      February 15, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

      Nope. I mean, yeah, we’ve plenty of happy and plenty of adorable, but drama has always been a part of this comic. I mean, hell man, we get like 15 strips into the thing and we got Ruth goading Billie to punch her in the face. Less than half-way between the start and where we are now somebody tries to date rape Joyce and gets smashed up with a baseball bat instead. Hasn’t always been gumdrops and lollie pops, is what I’m saying.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        February 15, 2014 at 1:15 pm | #

        Willis even said he had Dorothy break up with Danny right at the beginning just so people couldn’t say DoA wasn’t about drama.

        I mean, that wasn’t a very dramatic moment per say, but at least the intention was there.

  30. Nym
    Nym
    February 15, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

    But can we have Riley happily eating cereal tomorrow so that we can deal with having this? 🙁

  31. Jackson
    Jackson
    February 15, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

    I’ll show you, David Willis. I’ll draw my own Riley eating cereal!

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      February 15, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

      Thank you. I needed this.

    • nothri
      nothri
      February 15, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

      Careful. Soggies may rule.

    • WaveRocker
      WaveRocker
      February 15, 2014 at 1:26 am | #

      Surreal Cereal

  32. nothri
    nothri
    February 15, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

    So do you think third time’s a charm, or is it just fate that if one of these two initiates a kiss on the other she will get rejected due to past poor decisions she made leading up to said kiss?

  33. nothri
    nothri
    February 15, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

    Look on the bright side, people. At the rate this is going the cereal would have seemed delicious for like two comics and then would be revealed to be filled with little jagged pieces of metal that cause poor Riley to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery.

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      February 15, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

      Damn that Krusty and his product endorsements! First Bart, now Riley?

      • nothri
        nothri
        February 15, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

        And then the prognosis comes back: She will live, but her intestine is permanently damaged and can only handle certain foods.

        Riley will never eat cereal again.

  34. Roomie
    Roomie
    February 15, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

    Time to spiral into a sheer depression and lose that firewater fifty 😀

  35. NeoVachel
    NeoVachel
    February 15, 2014 at 1:22 am | #

    That’s cold Willis… Damn cold.

  36. WaveRocker
    WaveRocker
    February 15, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

    Uhhh… Let’s go see what Joyce is doing. ‘Been a while since we seen her

    • John
      John
      February 15, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

      Joyce is freaking out because she just found out that if her gay boyfriend magically turned straight, she’d still be second
      choice.

      Maybe Sal’s doing something not horribly depressing?

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        February 15, 2014 at 1:50 am | #

        Sal’s banging Marcie. She’ll invite Billie and cheer her up.

  37. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    February 15, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

    Well played Willis. Destroy everyone’s feel-good time of Valentine’s Day. Even the day after, because it’s a weekend thing this time around.

  38. asmcint
    asmcint
    February 15, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

    DAMN YOU, WILLIS!

    • asmcint
      asmcint
      February 15, 2014 at 1:40 am | #

      continuing to make me feel feels…*mumblemumble* all eternity, I say!

      • The Weird One
        The Weird One
        February 16, 2014 at 8:24 am | #

        … I’m sorry, but where the hell do I go from making your screams be the birth of a new universe? Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a god!

  39. Just Here
    Just Here
    February 15, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

    Solving everyone else’s problems? Easy.

    Solving your own problems? Not so much…

  40. newllend
    newllend
    February 15, 2014 at 1:46 am | #

    So thats going well(not) who’s next? Sal, Joyce, Amber again?

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      February 15, 2014 at 1:51 am | #

      Joyce’ll lose her virginity in a gang bang with every female character in the wing.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        February 15, 2014 at 1:12 pm | #

        Stop spoiling Willis’ next porn.

  41. Megatron
    Megatron
    February 15, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

    Best Valentine’s ever!

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 15, 2014 at 9:39 am | #

      It was just another Friday for me.

      • Megatron
        Megatron
        February 15, 2014 at 6:07 pm | #

        People rip cheerleader outfits down from hangers on their doors every Friday where you come from?

        Where is this bastion of fleshling suffering?

        • Bill
          Bill
          February 17, 2014 at 2:25 am | #

          Oh, you were referring to the comic strip? — I thought you were bragging on your own Valentine’s Day activities.

          • Megatron
            Megatron
            February 19, 2014 at 2:36 am | #

            My comments are always about the comic.

            You can safely assume that, unless Starscream is involved, all my days are awesome.

  42. Rutee
    Rutee
    February 15, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

    Delicious drama~

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      February 15, 2014 at 2:14 am | #

      Also, keep doing what you’re doing, Willis. Unless it leads to an unhappy ending – then stop doing what you are doing, but it was still delicious as is.

      What? SOMEONE should show some support at well done drama, and have respect for the craftwork (Billie’s guilty look when she goes “THREE D- three months…. sober” was kinda amazing in retrospect)

      • nothri
        nothri
        February 15, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

        Second.

      • Ikaru
        Ikaru
        February 15, 2014 at 4:12 am | #

        Thirded

  43. IncadescentFlame
    IncadescentFlame
    February 15, 2014 at 2:35 am | #

    Whelp, good thing I’m not in a human relationship.

  44. Drunken Nordmann
    Drunken Nordmann
    February 15, 2014 at 2:58 am | #

    As someone once said: “Well, shit.”

  45. Pinja
    Pinja
    February 15, 2014 at 4:41 am | #

    Classic Willis lesbian tragedy

  46. Idunno
    Idunno
    February 15, 2014 at 4:58 am | #

    Who’s Riley ? this comic’s looking more and more like a russian novel, too many characters, my old mind can’t keep up.

    • Blue Dragon
      Blue Dragon
      February 15, 2014 at 12:30 pm | #

      Riley is the twelve year old sister of Roz. As you can see from the link, her Mom and “Mark” (Mom’s significant other?) were going to pick her up five hours past noon. That’s why we won’t get to watch her eat cereal now. Her folks don’t let her eat the better, more expensive, cereal unless she can convince them that she’s done something that deserves a special treat. (In a later strip, she moans about the hoops she has to jump through, normally.)

      This was her chance to pig out for both breakfast AND lunch, except her sister slept in, so she only got one potentially perfect meal.

      • idunno
        idunno
        February 17, 2014 at 12:33 pm | #

        I may have been drunk when writing my first comment, but this is really becoming too meta for me.

  47. Eukie
    Eukie
    February 15, 2014 at 4:58 am | #

    I like how this mirrors their first kiss; in ‘Recalculating’ and the strips that followed, Ruth initiates a kiss on Billie, who joins in but then pushes Ruth away before angrily storming off. Ruth then goes to her room, hangs her head, and calls herself stupid with a pithy line said out loud.

    Here, Billie initiates a kiss, Ruth pushes her away and walks out, and Billie sits in her room hanging her head and calls herself stupid with a pity line said out loud.

  48. pendrake
    pendrake
    February 15, 2014 at 5:25 am | #

    As someone who has had to >bury< friends due to the inevitable come-around harm that denial of alcoholism does, I feel no sympathy or pity for Billie.

  49. Kodoku
    Kodoku
    February 15, 2014 at 5:30 am | #

    Oh Billie, your fake ID is the only friend you’ll ever really need!

  50. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    February 15, 2014 at 6:35 am | #

    Must…resist…temptation… to say…infamous line…

  51. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    February 15, 2014 at 7:01 am | #

    Now burn it, seek help for yourself and find someone who isn’t an abusive drama bomb to hook up with.

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 15, 2014 at 9:37 am | #

      No, find whoever is in charge of the cheerleader squad and give it back.  Steps #8 and #9 of Alcoholics Anonymous:
      #8 — Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
      #9 — Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

      (this means don’t say that Ruth swiped it; make up some song-and-dance about how it turned up in your hall’s laundry room but didn’t belong to anybody there and that you as a former cheerleader knew how important it would be for whoever had lost it to get it back)

      Do it for Ruth, Billie, and it will also wind up helping you.

      • Eukie
        Eukie
        February 15, 2014 at 12:58 pm | #

        Steps #2, #3, #5, #6, #7, #11, #12, meanwhile, are about converting to Christianity and praying a lot.

        • Doom Shepherd
          Doom Shepherd
          February 15, 2014 at 1:09 pm | #

          Or a new method: Step #1 get on Naltrexone. There are no other steps.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          February 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm | #

          Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

          • alicemacher
            alicemacher
            February 15, 2014 at 6:58 pm | #

            Exactly. I’ve commented a couple of times within this site on the problems with AA (not only the Christian agenda, but the “we are powerless” thing). But I see nothing wrong with recognizing that you’ve hurt people, and making amends where possible and appropriate. You don’t have to be Christian, or of any faith, to see the sense in that.

        • Bill
          Bill
          February 15, 2014 at 7:28 pm | #

          Maybe my group was different…. we emphasized the “higher power” aspect, without trying to define any specific higher power.  Granted, most people in the US will automatically assume you are referring to and will turn to a Judeo-Christian god-figure, but it could be any higher power; Jeebus, Buddha, Allah, Blind Io, the FSM, or even just the combined strength of your home AA group (based on the logic that a group of people is more powerful than just one single person).

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            February 16, 2014 at 8:41 am | #

            I don’t personally like the idea of relinquishing any personal power to any kind of spiritual higher authority, because it seems like it creates a system in which people would be entirely blameless for their own actions or gives them an excuse to fall off the wagon (e.g. “I relapsed, but I couldn’t help it because I’m powerless”) as long as they try again. While I have no actual experience in the process, if ever I were to fall into addiction, I think that the real road to recovery for me would lie in actually desiring to recover, and actually wanting to make the efforts to get your life back on track, taking personal responsibility into my own hands and asking friends or family members who are trustworthy to help me achieve it.

            That being said though, if the AA method worked for you, then it’s all that ultimately matters. Grasping onto what you can to find new meaning in your life is much more important than arguing the semantics of what religion you use to help your recovery process. Beating the addiction to re-establish a stable foundation of your life FIRST, and THEN worry about the rest. 🙂

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          February 16, 2014 at 8:44 am | #

          Any crutch your size in a hospital would help you recover, no matter what color it is. You just have to remember to let go once you can stand on your own two feet. 😀

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 15, 2014 at 1:55 pm | #

        Ruth stole the uniform, not Billie.

        • John
          John
          February 15, 2014 at 3:07 pm | #

          That just means Billie’s receiving stolen goods.

          But trying to give it back would still cause more problems than it would solve.

          • Bill
            Bill
            February 15, 2014 at 7:31 pm | #

            Hence the reason I said come up with the story about finding it in the laundry room.

            • John
              John
              February 15, 2014 at 10:59 pm | #

              I frankly don’t have any more confidence in Billie’s lying skills than I do in her honesty.

              Plus it would be funny if she got in trouble over it, which means it would almost certainly happen, because she lives in a universe where the natural laws seem to revolve largely around making her lose her shit hilariously as often as possible.

              I think what she really needs to do is go let herself into Ruth’s room and say, “I can’t cheat if I’m with you. Can I stay?”

              And then they bang.

              (No, really, they probably shouldn’t at this point. But much of the fandom will get confused and not understand the words I’m writing if I don’t put that bit in.)

          • Pippy
            Pippy
            February 15, 2014 at 11:51 pm | #

            Oh dear, yes. Just try being a reformed shoplifter. I have hundreds of dollars of things that I’ve never dared to return…..

            • Pippy
              Pippy
              February 15, 2014 at 11:53 pm | #

              Joyce saying that is just amazing btw XD I should have gotten Sal.

  52. Yet-One-More-Idiot
    Yet-One-More-Idiot
    February 15, 2014 at 7:13 am | #

    Must….fight….urge….to say….it….can’t….resist….

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!

    xD

  53. Farmer_10
    Farmer_10
    February 15, 2014 at 7:29 am | #

    I don’t care anymore. Willis has crushed me so much, I’ve become emotionaly numb.

  54. LordHaw
    LordHaw
    February 15, 2014 at 8:11 am | #

    Willis has been laughing maniacally ever since he posted this one, I am sure. Another heartfelt “DAMN YOU WILLIS!” from me as well.

  55. xKiv
    xKiv
    February 15, 2014 at 9:12 am | #

    Solver : problem solver :: Child : problem child?

  56. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    February 15, 2014 at 11:06 am | #

    Time to frame Billie for the theft.

    Things can always get worse.

  57. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    February 15, 2014 at 12:37 pm | #

    EVERYONE WILL SUFFER

  58. Cragalanch
    Cragalanch
    February 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm | #

    Damn you Willis……. Cragalanch wanted LESS heartbreak after yesterday, not more

  59. acher4
    acher4
    February 15, 2014 at 2:37 pm | #

    DAMN IT BILLIE!

  60. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    February 15, 2014 at 2:52 pm | #

    Well, there goes the Billie/Ruth official porn.

    • BlackIo
      BlackIo
      February 15, 2014 at 3:48 pm | #

      What, and leave perfectly good porn money on the table?

      • John
        John
        February 15, 2014 at 5:03 pm | #

        If he’s hard up for porn money, he could always do Roomies! Billie/Ruth on the table. He’s got a couple panels of it already!

        • Drunken Nordmann
          Drunken Nordmann
          February 15, 2014 at 9:35 pm | #

          There’s something horribly wrong about that – but I can’t exactly say what it is.

  61. Ryan
    Ryan
    February 15, 2014 at 8:51 pm | #

    Yeah you suck pretty hard, Billie.

    • Animal
      Animal
      February 15, 2014 at 10:16 pm | #

      0_0

  62. Clint Powell
    Clint Powell
    February 16, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

    It’s not that I’m against Ruth and Billie as a lesbian couple at all, that part doesn’t bother me. I just don’t give a shit about them as characters in general. I don’t even dislike them enough anymore to laugh mockingly at their misery.

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