Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Real

by David M Willis on May 21, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance
└ Tags: amber, jennifer

Discussion (220) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. March
    March
    May 21, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    …Someone go check on Ruth, because now I have a bad feeling.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Where’s the freight elevator in that dorm that we SHOULD check for trucks, Alt-Text

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 21, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        No, clearly Sal had a wacky electric accident and is now in the body of a truck. Unawares, she tries to sneak back into her room like normal, only to find she’s got the wrong room.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 21, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Yeah, you don’t fuck around with this sort of shit.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 21, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Me too. I have a bad feeling Billie doesn’t get enough water.

      It’s important to stay hydrated, kids.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        May 21, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

        If she was drinking American beer, that won’t be a problem.

        • David
          David
          May 21, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

          American beer is like making love in a canoe.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            May 21, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

            First time I’ve seen that joke in a while. Classic.

          • Vibbles
            Vibbles
            May 21, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

            The harder you go at it, the more likely you are to wind up nauseous, drenched in riverwater and caught naked and sunburned by banjo-playing swamp people?

            • JustCheetoDust
              JustCheetoDust
              May 21, 2014 at 2:17 am | #

              I didn’t know that there’s a connection between beer and the Mayor of Dirt getting sodomized in rural Georgia.

              • Opus the Poet
                Opus the Poet
                May 21, 2014 at 10:46 am | #

                Reference to the book and movie Deliverance.

    • Eishne
      Eishne
      May 21, 2014 at 8:19 am | #

      Why are worried? Amazi-girl clearly stated she was okay.

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      May 21, 2014 at 5:33 pm | #

      “Foreshadowing: your clue to quality literature.”

      Berke Breathed

    • tahrey
      tahrey
      July 28, 2014 at 12:04 pm | #

      Pretty sure that Ruth Dies In Every Universe, same as Ethan Is Always Gay.

      It just takes its time coming.

  2. EvilPenguin
    EvilPenguin
    May 21, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    guys i think billie might be drunk

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 21, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      I wonder how many kegs did she drink to get that way?

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      May 21, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      I wonder if she has any brain damage from drinking so much.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Not sure about the brain damage but her liver might have seen better days.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          May 21, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          That and her kidneys might be racing to see which is needed first, an allograft or dialysis.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        May 21, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        I think you can cancel out liver and brain damage by sobering up at a place like Denny’s. Maybe.

        • Rabid Rabbit
          Rabid Rabbit
          May 21, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

          That, or you can go talk to Danny. Though that might just drive you to drink more.

      • Cody B
        Cody B
        May 21, 2014 at 10:12 am | #

        What? Brain damage from drinking is a myth.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          May 21, 2014 at 11:00 am | #

          I would think that would depend on what you do while drunk.

        • JWLM
          JWLM
          May 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm | #

          Not true (http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa63/aa63.htm.) Although the most horrifying and debilitating alcohol-related brain syndromes are secondary to heavy and prolonged alcohol abuse, some are also primary to heavy drinking.

        • Annie
          Annie
          May 21, 2014 at 4:41 pm | #

          My grandfather had pretty severe alcoholic’s dementia. I can tell you that alcohol causing brain damage is far from a myth.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          May 21, 2014 at 8:56 pm | #

          …a TRUE myth??

          • JWLM
            JWLM
            May 21, 2014 at 9:14 pm | #

            You win.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Billie is a saint, you take that back.

      • John
        John
        May 21, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        St. Monica, maybe.

        • Jay Eff
          Jay Eff
          May 21, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          I’d say she’s more St. Ides than St. Monica, at the moment…

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            May 21, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

            +1

            And fuck Coors for making commercials with Ice Cube that don’t have him rapping about drinking.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 21, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        No…Billie is the Demo man.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 21, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

          Does that make Sarah the scout then?

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            May 21, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

            Pretty much…and I’m guessing that Dina’s the Spy.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              May 21, 2014 at 5:09 am | #

              For sure!

              • Dante
                Dante
                May 21, 2014 at 5:25 am | #

                …. would that make Amber the Soldier?

                • MilkyCoconut
                  MilkyCoconut
                  May 21, 2014 at 7:56 am | #

                  Engineer, methinks.

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  May 21, 2014 at 9:49 am | #

                  And Joyce is the Pyro…or Danny.

                • Gigafreak
                  Gigafreak
                  May 21, 2014 at 10:14 am | #

                  Amber can fool the entire campus with a paper-thin disguise, and skulks around in the dark to ambush people… yet Dina’s the Spy?

                • Gigafreak
                  Gigafreak
                  May 21, 2014 at 10:57 am | #

                  Scout: Billie (Athletic and overconfident)
                  Soldier: Ruth (Leadership and misguided rage)
                  Pyro: Marcie (Goggled and voiceless)*

                  Heavy: Joyce (Overly cheerful about terrifying things)
                  Demoman: Sal (Hardy, chip on her shoulder, went around with one eye covered in the Walkyverse for a time)
                  Engineer: Dina (Vast scientific knowledge, favored companions are neither human nor even alive for that matter)

                  Spy: Amber (Slinks about in the dark wearing a mask to ambush people, convincing in a paper-thin disguise)
                  Medic: Mike (A sociopath who helps people by hurting them)
                  Sniper: Dorothy (Friendly, rational, career-oriented)

                  *Also considered for Pyro:
                  Jocelyn (Androgynous) and Ethan (Flaming). I’ll apologize for that last one when I stop snickering at it. I’m a bad person.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 21, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      In other news, the background color of this site is blue.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 21, 2014 at 1:48 am | #

        In an unrelated news, the sea is wet, the sky is blue, boots to the head hurts and the cow goes “moo”. This has been “No Duh!” News, letting people know the blindingly obvious since 1954.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          May 21, 2014 at 3:12 pm | #

          But, what does the fox say?

          • JWLM
            JWLM
            May 21, 2014 at 9:15 pm | #

            The fox said “The grapes were sour.”

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            May 21, 2014 at 9:41 pm | #

            ‘It’s all Obama’s fault’.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            May 21, 2014 at 10:56 pm | #

            “Little princeling, why do you weep?“

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 21, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      Noooo, that can’t be she’s supposed to be the innocent religious type, p hold on a second I’m being informed on something, ( wait that’s Joyce not her, then who’s Billie? Oh the alcoholic one OK.) Ya no shit she definitely is how can she not be.

  3. Regalli
    Regalli
    May 21, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Poor Billie. She really does care.

    Too bad she’s shit at showing it.

    • The Meek Ninja
      The Meek Ninja
      May 21, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      To be honest, Ruth isn’t exactly the best at it either…

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 21, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Let’s be honest, How many people in this comic are?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 21, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          Disfunctional does describe a number of the characters in DoA after all.

          • KingMabel
            KingMabel
            May 21, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

            Are these characters sane in any universe?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              May 21, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

              Maybe… 😛

            • EEWWW
              EEWWW
              May 21, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

              True story from the mental ward…
              “This is your commitment hearing, do you have any questions for us?”
              “Just one, specifically for Dr. Johan. Dr. Johan, what is a perfectly mentally healthy person?”
              “A perfectly mentally healthy person does not hear voices…”
              *Pst* “Dr. Johan…”
              “A perfectly mentally healthy person does not see things that are not there…”
              *PSST* “Dr. Johan…”
              “A perfectly mentally healthy person does not…
              “DOCTOR JOHAN!… There is no such thing as a perfectly mentally healthy person.”
              “THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECTLY MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON!!!!!”
              Because sometimes, the people who think that they are sane are really characters. I am crazy and I have the paperwork to prove it.

              • Whatev
                Whatev
                May 21, 2014 at 5:41 am | #

                A perfectly mentally healthy person would stop asking me questions!

              • Jerden
                Jerden
                May 21, 2014 at 6:44 am | #

                So my theory that we’re all insane is correct? Great, if I’m normal, I can stop pretending!

              • WaytoomanyUIDs
                WaytoomanyUIDs
                May 21, 2014 at 8:18 am | #

                “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
                “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
                “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
                “You must be,” said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here.”

                • JustCheetoDust
                  JustCheetoDust
                  May 21, 2014 at 12:44 pm | #

                  http://www.abum.com/54868/Steve-Buscemi-as-the-Mad-Hatter.html

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              May 21, 2014 at 3:14 pm | #

              Well, there are an infinite number of universes, so there has to be at least one where they are sane.

              • Disloyal Subject
                Disloyal Subject
                May 22, 2014 at 11:43 am | #

                That only works if sanity exists. Which is infinitely debatable.

          • Flipz
            Flipz
            May 21, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

            DoA stands for “Dysfunctional? oh, ALWAYS”.

          • Steven
            Steven
            May 21, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

            The number being “All of them”.

        • Joe
          Joe
          May 21, 2014 at 8:49 am | #

          Dorothy and Walky.
          Assuming Walky’s grown past his “throw toys at girls” stage.

        • Sam
          Sam
          May 21, 2014 at 12:23 pm | #

          Joyce is. SHE SHOWS HER LOVE WITH TRIANGLE SMILES AND HUGS.

      • Jerden
        Jerden
        May 21, 2014 at 6:45 am | #

        They’d make a perfect couple!
        Or the other thing. You know, a terrible couple.

  4. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 21, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I’m imagining Ruth perfectly alive, but in the epicenter of total carnage.

    Sure, Ruth is alive. She’s the only thing that is.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      May 21, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Danny and Dorothy are both dead. Amber:”I panicked for nothing!”

      • anonymous
        anonymous
        May 22, 2014 at 9:48 pm | #

        Billie: Haha, she’s alive! Who cares about everyone else!

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      You take care of me, Billie. You’ve always taken care of me. My turn.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 21, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Are you implying that Ruth is Raiden?

        • Savail
          Savail
          May 21, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

          Simon, actually. Close.

          Okay, maybe not close at all.

          • Savail
            Savail
            May 21, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

            I mean River. Wow, how did I mess THAT one up? Not even the same gender.

  5. Mr K
    Mr K
    May 21, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I wonder if Billie suffers from any mental problems, given that she doesn’t seem to believe Amber is Amazi Girl after hearing her do a perfect impression, and confess.

    • LimeTH
      LimeTH
      May 21, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      She suffers from being plastered out of her friggin’ mind, if that counts.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Also she didn’t see Amber do the impression.

      • David
        David
        May 21, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

        Billie’s definitely more drunk than Sal, and Sal is right in the room. The door is open and she’s looking at Amber after the noisy intro.

        Maybe Amber and Sal will check upon Ruth together.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        May 21, 2014 at 9:37 am | #

        So if Amber is using Amazi-Girl’s voice, should Amazi-Girl be tagged for today’s comic, or…?

        • John
          John
          May 21, 2014 at 12:24 pm | #

          Nah, that’s not Amazi-Girl. That’s just Amber pretending to be Amazi-Girl. (No, that’s not a “_____ is Amazi-Girl!” joke.)

        • Sam
          Sam
          May 21, 2014 at 12:26 pm | #

          Nah, because it is still her Amber persona.

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 21, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      We’ll she is dru- what the hell I’m I doing I went over this yesterday.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 21, 2014 at 6:47 am | #

      Temporary, alcohol related mental problems, widely known as being totally drunk.

  6. Khaner
    Khaner
    May 21, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    You’re going to do something terrible.
    I have a “Damn You Willis” button prepared in advanced.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 21, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      There’s a button?!

      If not, can we have one added to the site as a stretch goal for the next Kickstarter?

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        How much do we have to raise so that when the button is pressed we hear Peter Cullen saying it?

        Probably a lot, right?

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          May 21, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          If I should ever encounter Peter Cullen at a con, I swear I will get him to say “Damn you Willis” and record it.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            May 21, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            You realize of course I’m going to hold you to that.

          • Cybersnark
            Cybersnark
            May 21, 2014 at 10:08 am | #

            Someone also has to get Frank Welker.

            Ooh, and Dan Gilvezan.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 21, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      There is a button, it’s next to the Get Out Of My Head Randall button.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        May 21, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

        Nice

    • EvergreenFir
      EvergreenFir
      May 21, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      Same…

  7. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    May 21, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    And now they’re friends, which is going to make the whole Sal situation awkward.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Hey Amber, Have you met my roomate Amazi-girl?

  8. xain
    xain
    May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    wow dat alt text just lol

  9. LiaHansen
    LiaHansen
    May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Amazi-girl should do PSAs.

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      And Knowing Is Impervious To Criticism

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 21, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      You’re Still Wrong (You Stupid Drunk)

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 21, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      “Even wearing a cape doesn’t make you less of a vigilante.”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 21, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

      Hey kids…remember, don’t do the crime…if you can’t take the beatdown.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 21, 2014 at 6:48 am | #

      I concur. Everyone would listen to her, just so that they don’t get hurt!
      I can’t be the only one who regards Amazi-Girl as a role model.

  10. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Dawww (hic) Dawwww!

  11. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    This interaction is gold. Pure fucking gold.

  12. vile_gamer
    vile_gamer
    May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Amber could always do some work as a ventriloquist if she gets kicked out for being Amazi-Girl. It might fool only Billy, Danny, or Blaine, but you have to start somewhere!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      I’m convinced it managed to fool most of the student body.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 21, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        Based on Amber complaining that folks know about her bastard dad now, I think we’re meant to think she’s taken pains to ensure very few people have actually been paying attention to her out of costume.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 21, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      Does this mean that Danny if going to experience a pain in the ass in the near future?

  13. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 21, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Good thing I took that Ventriliquey lessons!

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 21, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      She’s like Batman, she trains to be the best at everything.
      Including having ‘compartmentalized’ personalities.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        May 21, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

        Isn’t Batman “Batman” all the time?

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 21, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

          Clearly you haven’t met Billionaire Bruce Wayne.

          • KingMabel
            KingMabel
            May 21, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

            Bruce Wayne? I invited that guy to a charity auction one time but said he had “important business”. Who has important business at 9 pm?!?

            • JustCheetoDust
              JustCheetoDust
              May 21, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

              Vince McMahon on Monday nights?

              • KingMabel
                KingMabel
                May 21, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

                +1

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              May 21, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

              Do you really have to ask with guy who is pretty much known as the billionaire playboy?

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            May 21, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

            Ah, the reboot of Millionaire Bruce Wayne that accounted for decades of inflation.

          • John
            John
            May 21, 2014 at 11:34 pm | #

            Bruce Wayne is just Batman in disguise.

  14. Chico
    Chico
    May 21, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    wow was Amazi-Girl actually in the hallway

    • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
      Gadgeteer Smashwidget
      May 21, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      hmmm seems likely

      btw I love your avatar, Paranormal is a great webcomic

      • hoovy_woopeans
        hoovy_woopeans
        May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Paranormal is great, but have you read this really cool one called Paranatural? It’s about a kids with ghost powers!

        • MilkyCoconut
          MilkyCoconut
          May 21, 2014 at 9:08 am | #

          You mean Danny Phantom?

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          May 21, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

          that’s the one I mean. heh, I got names and words mixed up.

  15. Aslee
    Aslee
    May 21, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I just stared at this comic in absolute shock for five minutes, and then whispered, “Don’t cry, goddamn it.” These comics come out way too late for me to have appropriate emotional responses. Billie just makes me SO SAD.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      I’m so sad. So very very Sad.
      *click* *click* *click* *click*
      SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
      SAAAAAAAAAAAAD
      thank you.

      • AndromedaRage
        AndromedaRage
        May 21, 2014 at 3:56 am | #

        It’s not a race, guys!”

      • Legasher
        Legasher
        May 21, 2014 at 10:44 am | #

        You come into the threshold of another starless night of fear
        You’re running from the demons that would drag you down again
        Illusions of the world are spinning out of time and frame and synchronicity
        You’re so sad/You’re such a sad-eyed girl
        You’re so sad/In your subplot

  16. Tacdud2
    Tacdud2
    May 21, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I hope this ends well. It wont i know it.

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 21, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      Best case scenario Billie and Ruth get drunk, make up and have a make out session in the hall and ask Amber if she wants to join.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 21, 2014 at 6:51 am | #

      Worst case scenario – actually, there’s no point me thinking of one, because it could always be worse.

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      May 21, 2014 at 12:48 pm | #

      Best outcome would be that Ruth tells Billie that she wants nothing to do with a drunk. That *might* bottom Billie out; I don’t think that there’s anything which will get her to seriously get the help she desperately needs.

  17. newllend
    newllend
    May 21, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Ruth’s going to be OK, as long as someone doesn’t pull any shit Willis I’m looking at you.

  18. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    May 21, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    *G.I. Joe ending music plays*

  19. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    May 21, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Is it bad that I like the glasses-askew look on Billie?

    • RobHagen
      RobHagen
      May 21, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      No. Askew glasses for all the DoA Ladies!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 21, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      Glasses-askew will never become my Rule 36.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      This look better not become popular with the youths.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        May 21, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

        Watch as someone makes billions from selling glasses designed to not stay on your face properly.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 21, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        They do wear jeggings after all.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLZ8L6SZmaA

    • Rob Cottingham
      Rob Cottingham
      May 21, 2014 at 3:45 pm | #

      Suddenly I want Willis to introduce a new character named Glasses Askew.

  20. John
    John
    May 21, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    So sad, yet I’m cracking up.

  21. Xerxes93
    Xerxes93
    May 21, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    I thought the strip from last sunday was the best one so far, but it just got kicked off the top spot by this one.

  22. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    May 21, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Wait a second, Amazi-Girl isn’t tagged…

  23. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 21, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Hey, weren’t we promised that nobody was gonna die in this comic?

    Or am I just being naive and trusting?

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 21, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Don’t worry — nobody dies in this story. They just get really big liver diseases.

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 21, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        They just go to another dimension.

        • KingMabel
          KingMabel
          May 21, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          They get imprisoned.

          Or banished.

          Or imprisoned in the place they were banished to.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            May 21, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

            Unless they quit being banished, of course.

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              May 21, 2014 at 8:38 am | #

              Shouldn’t you be…. FRYING something??

          • mudakthemultiplier
            mudakthemultiplier
            May 21, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

            I see what you did there…

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          May 21, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

          HFIL

  24. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 21, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    And now I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever relied on his alterego to convince drunk friends into doing stuff.

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 21, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      Of course, God knows what happens when Superman’s Drunk of his ass

      • John
        John
        May 21, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        “… You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”

      • darkgloomie
        darkgloomie
        May 21, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

        … Superdickery covers?

  25. Heather K
    Heather K
    May 21, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    Dun dun dun….

  26. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 21, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    And then Howard shows up.

    “Game of Thrones! Game of… Billie, what happened? Did the lesbian babies make you sick? Who’s that other girl? I’M TELLING RUTH! Oh wow a Game of Throne!”

  27. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    May 21, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

    Watch out for snakes.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 21, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

      I don’t see any cardboard boxes lying around.

  28. Just Here
    Just Here
    May 21, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

    Yeah, we haven’t heard from Ruth in a while. Hmmmm. And maybe Billie is feeling a bit guilty about everything?

    Of course, drinking to escape your problems never helps much, except to add the problem of a hangover to the list.

  29. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    May 21, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

    Damn! Billie you stupid shit. Go to AAA. If you don’t have alcohol poisioning
    and choke to death on your vomit tonight.

    Good on you Amber, you’re doing well so far.

    But, yeah, go check on Ruth.

    • EvergreenFir
      EvergreenFir
      May 21, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      AAA could help with those trucks…

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 21, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      Like we’ve said before all the liquid in her body is 90%,Alcohol she goes down there three times a week so they can study her as the 8th wonder of the world.

      • newllend
        newllend
        May 21, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        Ishe goes down to the medical reaserch labs too – God damn me for not spell checking.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 21, 2014 at 1:38 am | #

        8th? I thought Andre the Giant was the 8th wonder of the world.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 21, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      Yes. Go to AAA. Get your Car repaired.

  30. Connnor
    Connnor
    May 21, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    Wait, did we ever find out what was blocking the garbage chute?

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 21, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      Whatever it was, it wasn’t Ruth, you friggin’ weirdo.

      • John
        John
        May 21, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

        It was the truck. Ruth killed it and stuffed it down there. It was an amazing feat… trucks don’t even need their femurs to live.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 21, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      This is a mad, mad, mad idea, I know, but have you considered the possibility that it may have been -garbage-?

  31. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    May 21, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    Wanna bet Sal comes out of the door after Amber leaves an says:

    “Ah heard that voice before.”

    Then shit will really hit the fan…..

    • Fran
      Fran
      May 21, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

      If that happens, I’ll testify about your calling on it!

  32. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    May 21, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

    Great, so now Amber is officially Amazi-Girl’s “friend” XD Nothing like the classics!!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 21, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

      So…Amazi-Girl’s Pal, Amber O’Malley?

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        May 21, 2014 at 11:16 am | #

        Yup. Just like Clark Kent is pals with you-know-who, and Batman occasionally calls up his playboy millionaire friend for backup ^^

  33. explodingbunny
    explodingbunny
    May 21, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

    don’t you joke about trucks and my favorite red-head, bad willis, no.

  34. hurricanemyles
    hurricanemyles
    May 21, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

    Over/under on how long it takes for us to know Ruth’s fate?

    I’m thinking either one week or six weeks.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 21, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

      She’s fine, Amazi-girl just checked!

  35. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    May 21, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

    No Amazigirl tag. Huh

  36. Ghola
    Ghola
    May 21, 2014 at 1:21 am | #

    And now all I can think is that Carla and Ruth hook up.

  37. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    May 21, 2014 at 1:24 am | #

    lollll last panel cracks me up.

  38. Darwin
    Darwin
    May 21, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

    DoA Amazi-Girl: Not -always- picking fights. Sometimes offering anti-hangover advice!

  39. momomelon
    momomelon
    May 21, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

    … somebody please do that amber amzi-girl exchange with bruce wayne and batman.

  40. mudakthemultiplier
    mudakthemultiplier
    May 21, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

    Too soon for that hovertext Willis, still too soon.

  41. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    May 21, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

    Amazi-girl, a new breed of hero, the (Agony) Aunty Hero.

    I’m here all week, try the chopped liver!

  42. Shadow12000
    Shadow12000
    May 21, 2014 at 2:30 am | #

    “go check for trucks” ouch…ride in the feels, Willis…

    • MilkyCoconut
      MilkyCoconut
      May 21, 2014 at 9:14 am | #

      I’m confused. Did I miss a big chunk of joyce n walky? Was ruth hit or smth?

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        May 21, 2014 at 9:53 am | #

        It’s from all the way back in Roomies. Ruth sacrificed her life ramming a drunk Danny’s car off the road and out of the way of an oncoming truck in the Walkyverse. She didn’t survive hitting the truck herself.

        Yeah, Danny’s responsible for Ruth’s death in that world. It’s why she doesn’t appear again until the scenes in the afterlife.

  43. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    May 21, 2014 at 3:14 am | #

    Ruth’s totally going to choke on her own vomit.

    • CianM1301
      CianM1301
      May 21, 2014 at 5:01 am | #

      Actually, I think Willis said that no-one was going to die in this universe.

      • Pinja
        Pinja
        May 21, 2014 at 9:14 am | #

        So Blaine can only ever be a disappointment to me 🙁

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          May 21, 2014 at 11:46 am | #

          Not necessarily. The reason Willis doesn’t want to kill anybody is because the mourning period in strip would last for years of real time, and that’s depressing. I don’t know that anybody would really mourn Blaine.

          • 3oranges
            3oranges
            May 21, 2014 at 3:27 pm | #

            Hm. I know we were told nobody gets hit with a truck, but were we also told there will be no jumps so-many-weeks into the future?

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            May 21, 2014 at 6:26 pm | #

            Amber would have difficult to understand emotions…..forever!

          • anonymous
            anonymous
            May 22, 2014 at 9:52 pm | #

            Alternatively, Blaine could end up comatose for the rest of his life.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 21, 2014 at 3:20 pm | #

        Yes, in THIS universe.

  44. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    May 21, 2014 at 4:24 am | #

    I don’t even know why Amber’s trying to hide it. Billie’s so drunk, Bruce Wayne could tell her he was Batman and she wouldn’t remember.

    • Greenygal
      Greenygal
      May 21, 2014 at 9:04 am | #

      She’s not trying to hide it, but Billie doesn’t believe her, and this is quicker than trying to convince someone who’s nine sheets to the wind that no, really, she is Amazi-Girl.

  45. ZORK
    ZORK
    May 21, 2014 at 5:34 am | #

    I like that Amber actually uses her alter-ego to do something good and selfless again. I mean, after she used Amazi-Girl twice to “fix” her past.

  46. Carlos
    Carlos
    May 21, 2014 at 5:44 am | #

    Jeez, she’s so hammered, that I have a hang over right now

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      May 21, 2014 at 3:56 pm | #

      If Billie drinks Ruthless brand beer, we could say she’s getting hammered on Ruthless because she’s not getting nailed by Ruthless.

  47. SilverArrowArtemis
    SilverArrowArtemis
    May 21, 2014 at 7:43 am | #

    I like how she’s too drunk to notice it was the same person doing both voices. Also, a Sal in the dark, anyone?

  48. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    May 21, 2014 at 8:59 am | #

    Where was Billie drinking? I assumed she did all her drinking in her room, but then she wouldn’t have gotten lost out in the hallway…

    • Just Here
      Just Here
      May 21, 2014 at 10:53 am | #

      Unless she got drunk in her room and then wandered off in search of Ruth. Who says that was Ruth’s door she was leaning up against?

      • JWLM
        JWLM
        May 21, 2014 at 12:45 pm | #

        There’s a plate on it. We’ve seen that plate before, it identifies Ruth as the RA.

  49. Gigafreak
    Gigafreak
    May 21, 2014 at 10:05 am | #

    Wait, shit, if Sal’s present and awake, she’ll witness (or even just hear) Amazi-Girl being nice to the half-white underage drinker. After trying to assault the half-black one.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      May 21, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

      Well, Sal’s half-white too… How strongly does Billie even identify with her Asian half? Hmm.

      …Point still stands, though.

  50. Sam
    Sam
    May 21, 2014 at 10:13 am | #

    …. seriously, though, someone go check on Ruth.

  51. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 21, 2014 at 11:45 am | #

    I wonder if Ruth is like Sean Bean and she’s the girl who dies.

  52. Caravelle
    Caravelle
    May 21, 2014 at 12:16 pm | #

    “Okay yay thanks Amazi-Girl I will”

    Is this the cutest line ever in Dumbing of Age ? I think it might be. Unless you want to tell me Billie is being sarcastic, and she’s clearly not in a state to be sarcastic so no, it is the cutest line ever in Dumbing of Age.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      May 21, 2014 at 12:19 pm | #

      It is absolutely genuine.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 21, 2014 at 7:35 pm | #

        Billie is almost always pretending to be mature, and intelligent, and sexy, and serious. It’s a shame that she has to get dead drunk before she can be herself.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 21, 2014 at 7:36 pm | #

          Or, hang around Walky for 5 seconds. That seems to do it, too.

        • John
          John
          May 21, 2014 at 11:39 pm | #

          Billie is totally sexy what’re you talking about.

          The others I’ll give you.

  53. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    May 21, 2014 at 1:44 pm | #

    Amber could probably make a decent living as a voice actress…..Also this is just adorable!

  54. Rutee
    Rutee
    May 21, 2014 at 2:23 pm | #

    Still a few sniffles. Billie and Ruth are really good-

    • David
      David
      May 21, 2014 at 3:06 pm | #

      When she is drunk, she is really really good, and when she is sober, she’s horrid.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        May 23, 2014 at 3:46 am | #

        what? Billie is more just ‘irritant – ignore’ if we’re talking about how they’d come off if we had to deal with them.

  55. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    May 21, 2014 at 3:12 pm | #

    It’s really cool to see Amber interacting more with the “main cast” lately.

  56. maycroft
    maycroft
    May 21, 2014 at 5:52 pm | #

    This is the best clark-kenting I’ve seen.

  57. apostateCourier
    apostateCourier
    May 22, 2014 at 9:27 am | #

    “go check for trucks” AHAHAHAHAHA you’re terrible.

  58. anonymous
    anonymous
    May 22, 2014 at 9:56 pm | #

    Future conversation:
    “But you can’t be AmaziGirl! I remember when you had a conversation with her!”
    “You were really drunk…”
    “I SAW HER WITH YOU I SWEAR IT.”
    “…Oookay, then.”

  59. Jadedcynic
    Jadedcynic
    December 29, 2014 at 7:30 pm | #

    But this IS how you deal with drunk people – you don’t argue with them, you just ‘bend reality’ to let them have their way…but in a safe way. 🙂

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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reposted by David M Willis!
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wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Stop making the one toy I want the super-expensive chase, Auldey!!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
And that's why you have Jesus wear a condom!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's #webcomicday? We have a special day??? Well, my name is Pat McHoarney and I draw 69 Mouse-Ear Blvd, a multigenerational story about women who all have sexy legs and probably other features. There was a grandmother, but she wasn't hot and so she died off-panel.
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hoanna newsom @bsweet.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
nytimes.com's user avatarThe New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans, sitting closely on a couch. A headline reads:
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Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
That's the most upsetting LEGO Thing minifig possible
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
LEGO Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four: First Steps Fantastic Four vs. Galactus will release June 1st ($59.99) - bit.ly/3F4uRci #ad
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
what's going on with tariffs right now i dunno, what time is it today
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