Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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by David M Willis on June 1, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance
└ Tags: joyce

Discussion (355) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    June 1, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    whoops

    [also where’s the glitter]

    • cesium133
      cesium133
      June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      “It’s insufficiently sparkly!”

  2. BL
    BL
    June 1, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    poor joyce

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      June 1, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      poor sarah. those were new batteries.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 1, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        Should’ve get those Energizer batteries.

        • RevenantBacon
          RevenantBacon
          June 1, 2014 at 1:53 am | #

          It’s OK, they’re totally the re-chargeable kind.

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      June 1, 2014 at 12:16 pm | #

      She looks so adorable in the fourth panel.

  3. Kevin
    Kevin
    June 1, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Hahahahahahahaha

  4. Mr. D.
    Mr. D.
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Well, they do share THOSE 8V

    • TheBlueMario
      TheBlueMario
      June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Only scissor sisters share those

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 1, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        Shouldn’t they have the doubleheader?

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 1, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

          Some creepy old dude took the last one in stock.

          • LiaHansen
            LiaHansen
            June 1, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

            what the FUCK was that??

            • Kennerly
              Kennerly
              June 1, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

              Requiem for a Dream.

              • hmmm e-yep...
                hmmm e-yep...
                June 1, 2014 at 11:54 am | #

                Terrifying is what that was…

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      June 1, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      That’s kinda gross Xo

      [hope they at least condom them up first]

      • Jerden
        Jerden
        June 1, 2014 at 4:58 pm | #

        I think that’s how you get AIDS. Well, one of many exciting ways.

        • Jerden
          Jerden
          June 1, 2014 at 4:59 pm | #

          Not the cndom thing. That might help, but there’s always bleach, or just hygiene I guess.

  5. LeslieBean4Shizzle
    LeslieBean4Shizzle
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Ah, the rabbit. Old reliable. Good choice Sarah.

    • EvergreenFir
      EvergreenFir
      June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Looks more like the Eager Beaver. Rabbit has two ears on the clit vibe

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

        These things have friggin’ names?!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 1, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          Of cause they do, which would you use, something called The Playful Porpoise or Item 4J-0900V?

          • Saru
            Saru
            June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

            As I’m a male…if something intended for male pleasure were called “The Playful Porpoise”….well mostly I’d just be curious.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              June 1, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

              It depends on how eager you are to poke your G-spot.

              • RevenantBacon
                RevenantBacon
                June 1, 2014 at 1:55 am | #

                Well, considering men technically *have* a g-spot(although the prostate is a close approximation) I would assume that most mean aren’t very eager to poke it.

                • TheOtherDibbler
                  TheOtherDibbler
                  June 1, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

                  Sooo… not the time for me to mention that there are toys available for men that are designed to stimulate the p-spot? (Legit called that, I did not make that name up)

          • Kennerly
            Kennerly
            June 1, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

            Toys for girls have cutesy names involving animals that might be pets. If men named sex toys, it would be called the Orgasmatron or something intimitading, like the the quivering fang.

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              June 1, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

              Is The Fleshlight suitably intimidating?

              • RevenantBacon
                RevenantBacon
                June 1, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

                How about Hazel the Werewolfess, or Mary the Anthro Mare?

                Those sound intimidating.

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  July 5, 2015 at 11:58 am | #

                  Hazel the Warewolfess sounds kinda hot.

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  July 5, 2015 at 11:58 am | #

                  *Werewolfess even

            • TheOtherDibbler
              TheOtherDibbler
              June 1, 2014 at 2:11 am | #

              Well a quick search found me the following sex toys for men:
              The Ample Invader, Men’s Pleasure Wand, Big-Boy Anal Vibe, and The Prostatic Explorer. The other names were all boring things like ‘5 function prostate massager’. So, yeah, more toward intimidating than cutesy I guess.

              • Historyman68
                Historyman68
                June 1, 2014 at 2:55 am | #

                The Prostatic Explorer!

                • zaratustra
                  zaratustra
                  June 1, 2014 at 7:07 am | #

                  The worst new series from Discovery Channel.

              • Aolbain
                Aolbain
                June 1, 2014 at 3:36 am | #

                I am not letting any of those things near my body!

              • Shawn
                Shawn
                June 1, 2014 at 3:30 pm | #

                Maybe a different “aisle” for Masturbators: Backdoor Betty, Noon’Her Naomi, Realistic Doggy Style, Shag’n Sally, Geisha Self-Heating Love Skin®, The Super Head Honcho….

            • maarvarq
              maarvarq
              June 1, 2014 at 2:24 am | #

              Something like that, but Orgasmatron is already taken.

              • Raznaak
                Raznaak
                June 1, 2014 at 6:13 pm | #

                And totally worth it. Seriously. I have one, and are amazing.

            • That girl
              That girl
              June 1, 2014 at 2:28 am | #

              The Orgasmaton is a toy that exists o.o And it’s M/F

            • radioactive man
              radioactive man
              June 1, 2014 at 1:45 pm | #

              Woody Allen already has one named: Mid- 1970’s comedy “Sleeper” , you do need an Orb for best results

            • guru115
              guru115
              June 1, 2014 at 5:29 pm | #

              Orgasmatron, great now I’m going to have the Motorhead song stuck in my head all day 🙂

            • nyamaru
              nyamaru
              June 3, 2014 at 10:08 am | #

              Actually the orgasmatron is a toy intended for women who prefer gyrations to vibrations, not joking it has about five powerful attachments .

            • taekwondogirl
              taekwondogirl
              June 3, 2014 at 1:17 pm | #

              I always get skeeved out by how cutesy they try to make female sex toys.

        • Pat
          Pat
          June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          Everything has names. How else do you tell them apart?

          • tinfoil theory
            tinfoil theory
            June 1, 2014 at 2:18 am | #

            Then my name shall be whatever the name of that river is.

            • Flygod
              Flygod
              June 1, 2014 at 3:47 am | #

              any gargoyle reference brightens my day

            • biggo
              biggo
              June 1, 2014 at 6:15 am | #

              What do you call the mouse shadow on the second moon?

              • Starscreamer
                Starscreamer
                June 1, 2014 at 9:43 am | #

                Mua’Dib!!!!!!

            • Jerden
              Jerden
              June 1, 2014 at 5:02 pm | #

              I know how you feel. I’m named for the River Jerden.

        • Chaucer59
          Chaucer59
          June 1, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

          Sure, Tunaro, where did you think the name “Steely Dan” came from?

          • bibulb
            bibulb
            June 1, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

            Oh, BLESS YOU. I am grinning SO HARD right now.

          • ProjectXa3
            ProjectXa3
            June 1, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

            Seriously?

            • Kelly
              Kelly
              June 1, 2014 at 2:47 am | #

              Read The Naked Lunch sometime 😀

            • Bill
              Bill
              June 1, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

              Serious as a heart attack.  Refer to “Naked Lunch” by William Burroughs.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 1, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

          Of course: Marketing

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 1, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

        I remember a product called the Eager Beaver, it was a combo sweeper/vacuum cleaner back in the 80s.

        • Anarchy 101
          Anarchy 101
          June 1, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

          It has since hit lv 30 and evolved into Eager Beaver 2.0 the super exta deluxe turbo edition sex toy

          • RevenantBacon
            RevenantBacon
            June 1, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

            I remember a show called Angry Beavers. Is that close enough?

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              June 2, 2014 at 3:22 pm | #

              Yes, I was so disappointed with that show. So not what I imagined when I heard the name.

    • Vivvav
      Vivvav
      June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      The avatar just makes this really self-congratulatory.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 1, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Wait, there are names for those?

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        This one is named “Jacob”.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          I would’ve expected it to be bigger….and unstoppable.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 1, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

            That’s cos the one called Jacob costs too much, she has to settle for ‘Little Joe’ for now. 😛

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              June 1, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

              Or it could have some huge risk…but think of the prize.

              • Aolbain
                Aolbain
                June 1, 2014 at 3:38 am | #

                …And now DoA Jacob will forever be ME Jacob.

              • vlademir1
                vlademir1
                June 1, 2014 at 12:47 pm | #

                Don’t know about you, but when I think of The Prize, I expect beheading and shouts of “There can be only one!”

                • xKiv
                  xKiv
                  June 1, 2014 at 6:26 pm | #

                  I think of the Entire Prize.

    • March
      March
      June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      I thought a rabbit had two ears? That said, yes. She probably had a bullet in there too. I see Sarah as a classic kind of girl.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Alright everyone. Come up with a name for a vibrator. This will be a fun thread.

      The Jostler 3400 series.

      • Tacdud2
        Tacdud2
        June 1, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

        The Stevie wounder

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 1, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

          Robin DeSanto

          • Historyman68
            Historyman68
            June 1, 2014 at 4:21 am | #

            Yep.

          • LeslieBean4Shizzle
            LeslieBean4Shizzle
            June 2, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

            I would totes buy a vibrator named the Robin DeSanto.

            Willis, any chance you can make this happen?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 1, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        The Serve-X Scratcher.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 1, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          The Cave Explorer?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 1, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

            The Gurren Longan.
            The vibrator that’ll pierce the Heavens.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              June 1, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

              I would’ve gone with the Shin Liger…but that works too.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              June 1, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

              The Rainbow Gash… for MLP fans.

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                June 1, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

                The Horn of the Unicorn. Why do you think it adds 700 attack points?

                • Rybridge
                  Rybridge
                  June 1, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

                  King Sombra’s Broken Horn.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  June 1, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

                  THE WORLD.

                  Feels so good it’s like time stops. It really steamrolls ya!

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  June 1, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

                  Well, Star Platinum is a tad better. Rapid action fire action and it has The World.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  June 1, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

                  Who are we kidding.
                  Let’s get the
                  SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVE v1800.

                • Anarchy 101
                  Anarchy 101
                  June 1, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

                  How ’bout the Pretty Princess Pony Piercer 2000 : bedazzled edition

                • Rybridge
                  Rybridge
                  June 1, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

                  Pinkie Pie’s Surprise.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  June 1, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

                  The Defenestrator (sal’s favorite)

                • RevenantBacon
                  RevenantBacon
                  June 1, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

                  The Wiggling Wonder Wang!
                  What?

                  I like alliteration.

                  Shut up!

                • LuckyStar7
                  LuckyStar7
                  June 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm | #

                  Creamy Volcano.
                  Tastes like a cherry pie.

      • Bill
        Bill
        June 1, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

        Oh Joy Sex Toy.

        • TsunamiJane
          TsunamiJane
          June 1, 2014 at 9:09 am | #

          Great comic!!!

          For those of you wondering: http://www.ohjoysextoy.com

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            June 1, 2014 at 1:07 pm | #

            Oooh, new comic. And I like it already. <3 Thanks! <3

      • Starscreamer
        Starscreamer
        June 1, 2014 at 9:45 am | #

        The Orgasmatron 8000. It’s gas powered. And there’s a year waiting list. Can you wait that long for some c**k?

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          June 1, 2014 at 1:00 pm | #

          Gas-Powered Stick?

      • drs
        drs
        June 1, 2014 at 11:56 am | #

        The Joy Stick
        The Joycetick

      • Aljash
        Aljash
        June 1, 2014 at 12:09 pm | #

        The Amazi-girl.

        Do your girl justice in bed for once…

        it’s just a fist that vibrates.

  6. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    IS that a Dexter based dildo? That button look awfully familiar

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      The one piece of merchandise Joyce is unlikely to buy.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        She’ll just kinda buy it and keep it in box so that she can say she owns every piece of merchandise.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 1, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          Or she could repurpose it as an actual back massager.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

            Well, at least it’s much better idea than using a gun as a back massager.

            • JustCheetoDust
              JustCheetoDust
              June 1, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

              “Your gun is digging into my hip.”

              • Julian
                Julian
                June 1, 2014 at 4:43 am | #

                Laces out!

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

            Yes Joyce, its like a lower-back massager but it scratches the itch from your insides.

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              June 1, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

              That does sound incredibly relaxing.

          • gwalla
            gwalla
            June 1, 2014 at 3:12 pm | #

            Or as a hair curler.

    • CleverTrousers
      CleverTrousers
      June 1, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

      It’s the HEAD Alien.

      • StrawGirl
        StrawGirl
        June 1, 2014 at 5:04 am | #

        You are the best. That is all.

      • Jack
        Jack
        June 1, 2014 at 12:31 pm | #

        Exactly what I thought when I saw it.

      • BL
        BL
        June 1, 2014 at 6:56 pm | #

        you did NOT

  7. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    omg

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      June 1, 2014 at 1:38 am | #

      Perfect gravatar.

  8. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I like to imagine her clearing the leap up to that bunk in a single bound.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      She can pray as fast as a locomotive.

      • arank11
        arank11
        June 1, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Didn’t we already go over Joyce’s superpowers?

        • bodmans
          bodmans
          June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

          multiple times, my young padawan, multiple times

  9. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Lol, that’s all Sarah has?

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Girl’s on a budget

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        June 1, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        Two small ones or one big one?

        Save on battery costs.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      She keeps her industrial strength toys in a secret box.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        June 1, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        I’ll bet she does. Couldn’t help myself.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 1, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        You mean the box with the secret string?

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      June 1, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      Well, Joyce isn’t pulling them ALL out at once

      and Sarah said she had toyS

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        June 1, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

        Source: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/noises/

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          June 2, 2014 at 3:25 pm | #

          I had completely forgotten about that one.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      June 1, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

      Well, the alt-text does say there’s no gloves in the drawer, so… No, I don’t think it is.

    • Bill
      Bill
      June 1, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

      “Lol, that’s all Sarah has?”

      No, that was just the handiest one.

  10. iron billie
    iron billie
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Joyce will be burning her hand off if she ever find out what it really is and where it has been.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Joyce’s hand would just dissolve from the knowledge. It would cease to be.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        I think it would just turn evil like Ash’s hand in Evil Dead 2, and she’d have to cut it off.

        She’d make the most of it and put Dexter’s claw on the stump. “Trufan unlocked!”

        • John
          John
          June 1, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

          Groovy.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 1, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

            Like…Far out man.

          • biggo
            biggo
            June 1, 2014 at 6:21 am | #

            Groovy to the MAX.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 1, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      More like WASH her hands with a nail brush until they bleed.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        June 1, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        wash hands in bleach

        shower in bleach

        break out the brain bleach

        • Jerden
          Jerden
          June 1, 2014 at 5:05 pm | #

          drink the bleach

          become the bleach

          • Krylani
            Krylani
            June 1, 2014 at 11:02 pm | #

            We stand in awe at that which cannot be made to stop buzzing loudly.

  11. nothri
    nothri
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Well, at least she doesn’t think its a hair curler or something…

    • John
      John
      June 1, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      That would be completely ridiculous and I’m sure we’d never see it in a Willis comic ever!

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 1, 2014 at 3:13 am | #

        Yeah, your totally right. Silly of me to even bring it up.

    • Cholma
      Cholma
      June 1, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      That was my thought as well!

  12. etybolik
    etybolik
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    And then Sarah walks in.

    “Why is that box buzzing?”

    • etybolik
      etybolik
      June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Er, drawer, not box.

      Also, Joyce now recognizes the noise that wakes her some nights.

  13. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 1, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh, JOYCE. I don’t think Sarah’s going to be sharing THAT with you.

    (… She might be convinced to help you go shopping, though. If it didn’t completely break your brain.)

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      I think she’d do it especially if it breaks your brain. Sarah and Joyce may be all buddy buddy but Sarah DOES like teasin’ the shit out of Joyce (not literally though)

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 1, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

        Well, yes, but she can’t go shopping WITH Joyce when Joyce is already totally short-circuited.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      June 1, 2014 at 10:04 am | #

      I wouldn’t underestimate Joyce’s curiosity. She can act like she knows what’s up, but underneath she’d give the Elephant’s Child a run for his money.

  14. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Fell out of my chair laughing at this one. Now I want to see her face when Sarah tells her what it is.

    • cmd1095
      cmd1095
      June 1, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

      you kidding? I wanna see how SARAH reacts to this

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        June 1, 2014 at 2:39 am | #

        “…”

        “Well, it was gonna happen EVENTUALLY.”

  15. Pteropine
    Pteropine
    June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    I’m eager to see Sarah’s reaction to Joyce’s curiosity and ignorance/innocence.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      New story for Jacob.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        June 1, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

        Jacob: “Y’know, I found something like that in one of Ethan’s drawers, too.”

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 1, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

          Only his was as big as my arm.

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            June 1, 2014 at 2:40 am | #

            “And it was, in fact, shaped like an arm with a fist.”

            …

            “And another one was kind of a cupped hand shape.”

            • JustCheetoDust
              JustCheetoDust
              June 1, 2014 at 7:17 am | #

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lfTfTuj9g&t=3m37s

              • nothri
                nothri
                June 1, 2014 at 6:18 pm | #

                Given the topic of discussion, there is simply no way in hell I’m clicking that link!

                • Jen Aside
                  Jen Aside
                  June 1, 2014 at 9:12 pm | #

                  Don’t worry, it’s just a Rickroll 😉

                • JustCheetoDust
                  JustCheetoDust
                  June 1, 2014 at 11:45 pm | #

                  “Will Arnett wielding a motor-powered fisting machine” is the new Rickroll?

                • Jen Aside
                  Jen Aside
                  June 2, 2014 at 1:32 pm | #

                  ThatWasTheJoke.jpg

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              June 1, 2014 at 7:40 am | #

              A baby’s arm holding an apple, amirite?

            • Wack'd
              Wack'd
              June 1, 2014 at 12:50 pm | #

              “You’re sucking on my elbow.”

            • vlademir1
              vlademir1
              June 1, 2014 at 1:04 pm | #

              Except Ethan’s likely looks kinda like this and is plausibly custom made ;D

              • vlademir1
                vlademir1
                June 1, 2014 at 1:08 pm | #

                Or this even because photobucket is getting stupider every time I use it:
                http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i58/vlademir1/21c73a16-2d75-4b5c-9fd8-9f6e46db3a71_zps2beca6a0.jpg

  16. Yotsuyasan
    Yotsuyasan
    June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    In the immortal words of George Takai, “Oh my!”

  17. c_ludenberg
    c_ludenberg
    June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    joyce no get out of that drawer

  18. AHR
    AHR
    June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Nice tastes, Sarah.

  19. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 1, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Don’t worry Joyce, that’s Sarah’s toy drawer!

    • arank11
      arank11
      June 1, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Warning: toy drawer does not contain Barbies, Transformers, My Little Ponies, or any real toy a mother would give to her child

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        June 1, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Well, she does have Woody and Buzz.

        • arank11
          arank11
          June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

          You sir have just made my day

        • MM
          MM
          June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          To infinity and beyond indeed.

        • Bill
          Bill
          June 1, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

          Actually, Toy Story 4 is going to be subtitled “Mom’s Toys”.
          And the main characters are still named ‘Woody’ and ‘Buzz’.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            June 1, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

            Are they still voiced by Hanks and Allen?

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          June 1, 2014 at 5:08 pm | #

          “Yes, ma’am, I’m holding a big Woody here.”

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      June 1, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      “Is this toy for boys or girls?”

      Q: Do you operate it with your genitals?

      Y: This toy is not for boys or girls.
      N: This toy is for boys and girls.

      • Rybridge
        Rybridge
        June 1, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        Going back to earlier, what would Joyce think of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? Would it be cute or would it be witchcraft?

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          June 1, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

          Cute witchcraft.

        • darkgloomie
          darkgloomie
          June 1, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

          eh, Celestia is clearly an allegory for the Almighty, like that other one, the big cat from that book series.

          • tinfoil theory
            tinfoil theory
            June 1, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

            Celestia is the evil one who banished her sister into solitary confinement for partying all night?

            • Kintrex
              Kintrex
              June 1, 2014 at 12:35 pm | #

              Isn’t that what god did to Lucy?

          • John
            John
            June 1, 2014 at 4:08 am | #

            Garfield?

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        June 1, 2014 at 7:42 am | #

        technically, a vibrator is not controlled by the genitals. It is used to control the genitals.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 1, 2014 at 9:15 pm | #

          “Do you operate it… WITH your genitals?”

          as in, “Do you cook… with wine?”

          In the latter, the wine is not the thing doing the cooking, but a supplement to the operation. I was going to say “use with/on” but I believe that was the original phrasing in the joke.

  20. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Ewww. I hope Sarah keeps those SANITARY.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 1, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      “Just try to think about something else, like how there’s no sink in there.”

      “So what if the- OH MY GOD! THERE’S NO SINK!”

      • Kennerly
        Kennerly
        June 1, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

        You don’t need a sink, just some rubbing alcohol. Hand sanitizer can sanitize more than just hands.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 1, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

          It can also “sanitize” sobriety. Filthy, filthy sobriety.

      • Chubsius
        Chubsius
        June 1, 2014 at 8:15 am | #

        Also, Sarah is the practical kind if lady who might buy the special cleaning wipes many companies offer.

  21. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    I thought she would have figured it out from her Google search for strap-ons.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      It’s just like a strap-on…but even more lonely.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        June 1, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        1 is the loneliest number.

        But all you need is 2 batteries to forget about all that

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 1, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          D size batteries if I recall correctly.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 1, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

            She wants the D!!!!

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              June 1, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

              The double D toi be exact. 😀

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                June 1, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

                Never knew that Double D is a chick magnet. I thought Ed’s the only chick magnet.

                • ShaggyDonahugh
                  ShaggyDonahugh
                  June 1, 2014 at 12:36 pm | #

                  Ya kidding me? Nerdy brains over Oafish strength every day xD
                  Thanks for the EE&E reference btw ^_^

          • Silly goose
            Silly goose
            June 1, 2014 at 9:07 am | #

            D? M…y roommate’s totally only takes double A. It’s a cheapie, then again.

            So I’ve heard. Ahem.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            June 2, 2014 at 3:28 pm | #

            Really, most of the ones I am familiar with take double a, usually four.

        • Rybridge
          Rybridge
          June 1, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

          Win.

    • John
      John
      June 1, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      She doesn’t recognize it without glitter.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        June 1, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

        or the belt

  22. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    There’s no sink in the room. (Archer reference)

  23. derick
    derick
    June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    This is the best one. It’s all down hill from here.

    • MM
      MM
      June 1, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      She could still call in Dina to investigate for her.

  24. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Well, the secret is out. Sarah is a Jedi, and that’s how she knew to go to that party with the bat. You found her lightsaber handle.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 1, 2014 at 2:25 am | #

      Feel the Force FLOWING through you.

  25. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    June 1, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    There is no part of this that I don’t love.

  26. arank11
    arank11
    June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I’m now picturing Joyce actually using it as a microphone.
    “Dooon’t stop… Beliiiieeeving! Hee hee. It tickles my hand”

    • lejwocky
      lejwocky
      June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Just like Rammstein

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 1, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        Could you be refering to Rammstein’s Pussy?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX7ur4Ey5X4

        • lejwocky
          lejwocky
          June 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

          Actually I was referring to the dildo-microphone Till uses in the music video for Ich Tu Dir Weh:
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLPE4vhSBx4

  27. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    June 1, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    “Sarah Performs a Nope”, the next Slipshine comic where we see what Sarah REALLY does when she walks away from the storyline/character development.

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      June 1, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      So “sitting alone in your room and quietly fuming at the world’s idiocy” was just code?

      • gangler
        gangler
        June 1, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

        She was nervous and fumbled her words. The phrase she was looking for is “letting off some steam”. Sitting alone in your room and quietly letting off some steam over the world’s idiocy while wearing a mouth guard to prevent enamel wear.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          June 1, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

          Noted, although my comment above was for fatuousness.

  28. Aizat
    Aizat
    June 1, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    I am at lost for words….never seen the thing in real life, really.

  29. JustCheetoDust
    JustCheetoDust
    June 1, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    “Sarah, I smell your lightsaber.“

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 1, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      You know, it’s a good idea to put your nose real close to a lightsaber….unless you really hate your nose.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        June 1, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        Eh, those things are a gyp.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 1, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

          Well, it’s against Brock Sampson. You know, Ash William’s great, great, great grandson.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            June 1, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

            To be fair, that thing was built by “Dr.” Venture. I suppose his brother could’ve made one that was actually lethal.

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              June 1, 2014 at 1:49 am | #

              Well, it still looks cool.

              Laser Swords at Dawn

  30. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Ew it has the butt part. Grown-ups are grooooss.

    • Salmo
      Salmo
      June 1, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      That’s not a butt part, man.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 1, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        Vibrators are also wierd!!!

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          June 1, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

          Sweet, innocent Yotomoe.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 1, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

            Innocence is Wierd!!!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 1, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      I know, poop comes out of butts after all.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 1, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      …how do you know less about women’s sex toys than I do? I don’t even like ladyparts?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 1, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

        I find them gross. And I’m straight. It’s really wierd.

        • Chubsius
          Chubsius
          June 1, 2014 at 8:42 am | #

          Might I respectfully suggest that a lack of information and understanding may be coloring your perception? May I recommend ohjoysextoy, the toy review webcomic, and a tenga 3d for some self-acquaintance?

          • deathjavu
            deathjavu
            June 1, 2014 at 10:47 am | #

            Seconded, OJST is supremely interesting even if you’re not making any purchases. It’s downright educational, and on topics you might have difficulty learning about elsewhere.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              June 1, 2014 at 12:33 pm | #

              Everything’s gross D: Toys are gross. Hands are where it’s at!

              • Chubsius
                Chubsius
                June 1, 2014 at 1:51 pm | #

                Ah, but our dexterous hands have allowed us as a species to build tools to help us in every aspect of our life. I admit some toys are more tasteful than others, realistic one are a bit uncanny valley for me, but quite a few are really rather artful.

    • Silly goose
      Silly goose
      June 1, 2014 at 9:10 am | #

      Friend, that is the BEST part.

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      June 1, 2014 at 10:41 am | #

      The “butt part” is actually the clit tickler. It is positioned so that when the big part is inside, the little part is in juuuuuuuust the right spot for a little external stimulation.

  31. Karfsma778
    Karfsma778
    June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    To Be Continued… on Slipshine.

  32. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    June 1, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Hey the batteries are still good!
    Continuity error? maybe?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 1, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Must’ve been new batteries.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        June 1, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Oh good. I think shirtless Jacob is coming up soon. She’ll need that.

  33. Michael
    Michael
    June 1, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    So. Now we know that Sarah’s needs aren’t going unattended.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 1, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Well…partially? Y’know…like owning a dog when you really want a child.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 1, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        Unlike children, you don’t need to pay for your dog’d college.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          June 1, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

          And they don’t ask much.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            June 1, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

            But they won’t support you in your old age. Also they will die pretty quickly and so you have to spend more time being sad.

            • cmd1095
              cmd1095
              June 1, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

              only DoA comments could make this kind of analogy work so long

              • JustCheetoDust
                JustCheetoDust
                June 1, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

                Not really, no.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              June 1, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

              Yeah, but if your dog is an asshole you can get rid of it and get a nicer one.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              June 1, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

              Apparently you didn’t know about a certain pink dog.

              • Anon
                Anon
                June 1, 2014 at 5:27 pm | #

                Forreal. That dog supported them in their old age and REFUSED to die quickly ahah I <3 Courage

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            June 1, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

            Panel 2

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          June 1, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

          Why You Should Never Ever Ever Get a Tattoo (But Having a Baby Is Fine)

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        June 1, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

        Unless all you really want is a dog right now and you’re perfectly fine with just the dog. Maybe some day you’ll have the child or maybe you won’t. Some people are fine with just dogs, y’know?

        Basically, what I’m saying is, sex with yourself is totally a valid life choice and does not neccessarily have to be a subtitute for anything else.

        • torstu
          torstu
          June 1, 2014 at 1:09 pm | #

          +1 from a libidoist asexual!

    • Alex
      Alex
      June 1, 2014 at 1:05 pm | #

      She already established she had toys to give her the only thing she needs from boys.

  34. Rhy
    Rhy
    June 1, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    Destruction of Joyce’s innocence one comic at a time.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 1, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      By the end of university…Joyce will be broken.

      • takashid
        takashid
        June 1, 2014 at 3:13 am | #

        in a good way

  35. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    June 1, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    I love absolutely everything about this strip. Just laughed out loud at 6 in the morning, well done, a+++, 10/10, would read again.

  36. John Madden
    John Madden
    June 1, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

    [evil laughing begins and intensifies]

    • Mass Confusion
      Mass Confusion
      June 1, 2014 at 5:08 am | #

      [cackles internally]

  37. Joebo
    Joebo
    June 1, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

    Yep, your younger self would be reeling from this comic.

  38. DrBear
    DrBear
    June 1, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

    Come to think of it, “Monkey Master” would be the perfect name for that device, whatever it is.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      June 1, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

      That really totally does sound like the name of a vibrator.

      • gangler
        gangler
        June 1, 2014 at 3:20 am | #

        And now I know that I’m ignorant of vibrator naming conventions.

  39. Rybridge
    Rybridge
    June 1, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

    This could be the opening to the next Dumbing of Age Pornagraphique.

  40. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    June 1, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

    Rub it on your tummy, Joyce.

  41. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    June 1, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

    Now you need latex gloves to switch it off. 😛

  42. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    June 1, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

    There’s no tag for that bad boy?

  43. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    June 1, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

    Maybe it’s an electrical ear cleaner.

    (Bonus points if anyone gets the movie reference)

  44. B
    B
    June 1, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

    Well, if she didn’t suspect it’s a dildo, she wouldn’t be looking at it from so far away, with a tight grip on her bed, now would she?
    Also, what’s that small part for if it’s not for her butt?

    • Ry
      Ry
      June 1, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

      It’s for clitoral stimulation.

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      June 1, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

      I think she was just scared from the noise and the sudden vibrating.

  45. Saucy Sarnac
    Saucy Sarnac
    June 1, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

    There’s a good and bad ending to this. The good: Joyce discovers the female orgasm and is more comfortable with her own sexuality as a result.
    The bad ending: Ruthless catches Joyce and publicly embarrasses her.
    The DAMMIT WILLIS ending: Sarah has a venereal disease that is passed on to Joyce.

  46. Nick Piers
    Nick Piers
    June 1, 2014 at 1:36 am | #

    Between this and Walky Performs a Sex, DoA is oddly starting to enter Menage a 3 territory. And I’m strangely okay with that.

  47. Robert
    Robert
    June 1, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

    Aaaaaaannd its back to the sweater vests for Joyce…

  48. saltchocolate
    saltchocolate
    June 1, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

    Smiling!!!!

  49. Chico
    Chico
    June 1, 2014 at 1:43 am | #

    kick it into the hallway, it might still be alive

  50. newllend
    newllend
    June 1, 2014 at 2:04 am | #

    You can’t rule that out so quickly though Joyce, try holding it closer to you face.

  51. Jesse
    Jesse
    June 1, 2014 at 2:17 am | #

    I’d ask what the hook is for, but I might not want to know.

    • Salmo
      Salmo
      June 1, 2014 at 2:25 am | #

      For the clitoris.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        June 1, 2014 at 2:37 am | #

        I’m sure Willis can draw a Slipshine if you need illustration =3

        [please?]

      • Jesse
        Jesse
        June 1, 2014 at 4:28 am | #

        Oh. I thought maybe it was an anal thing, what you said is less disgusting.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          June 2, 2014 at 3:33 pm | #

          Actually, some girls use it for that.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      June 1, 2014 at 2:37 am | #

      so joyce isn’t the only one who is amazingly unfamiliar with vibrators

      • Jesse
        Jesse
        June 1, 2014 at 4:23 am | #

        I never really had a use for one.

        • Runcible Spoon
          Runcible Spoon
          June 1, 2014 at 5:02 am | #

          Me neither, but I still figured it out.

          After seeing the number of people whose first instinct is to think that it’s for the butt instead of the clitoris, I’m starting to understand why the female orgasm has a reputation for being so elusive…

        • Chubsius
          Chubsius
          June 1, 2014 at 8:31 am | #

          Like iDevices, sex toys satisfy needs you never even knew you had.

          • Jesse
            Jesse
            June 1, 2014 at 11:09 am | #

            No, I mean I’m anatomically incompatible with vibrators.

            • Joebo
              Joebo
              June 1, 2014 at 11:36 am | #

              Incompatible with their mainstream use at least…

            • David M Willis
              David M Willis
              June 1, 2014 at 11:50 am | #

              This poor guy doesn’t have a butthole!

              • Jesse
                Jesse
                June 1, 2014 at 11:57 pm | #

                LOL – but no, I’m not into shoving things there, so it doesn’t count.

            • Chubsius
              Chubsius
              June 1, 2014 at 2:12 pm | #

              Vibrators can also be attached to penises, you know, and can be enjoyable for both people involved. They even have disposable versions in with the condoms in the pharmacy section.

              The more you know.

            • Anon
              Anon
              June 1, 2014 at 5:23 pm | #

              Also, its hilariously incorrect to think sex toys are only for women. While I’ve never used em (on myself, at least ;), guys have assholes, prostates, testicles, penises, and nipples: the possibilities are endless.

              • DesiDesiDesi
                DesiDesiDesi
                June 2, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

                Ya can also use dildos on your partner if you don’t feel comfortable usin’ one on yourself! Sexy fun for everyone involved!

    • Jesse
      Jesse
      June 2, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      I feel kinda like a Joyce right now.

  52. Corsair114
    Corsair114
    June 1, 2014 at 2:42 am | #

    Sarah is gonna be *pissed* the next time she goes to use that and the batteries are dead.

    • Jesse
      Jesse
      June 1, 2014 at 4:47 am | #

      And it’s been rolling around on the floor, that can’t be sanitary.

      • Anon
        Anon
        June 1, 2014 at 5:24 pm | #

        Not really a big deal. That’s the least of “my” problems.

  53. Dutch
    Dutch
    June 1, 2014 at 2:45 am | #

    Well its not a bumblebee.

    And there’s no sink in the room….

  54. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    June 1, 2014 at 3:04 am | #

    I’m always losing my gloves in my vibrator drawer.

    Wait.

  55. acher4
    acher4
    June 1, 2014 at 3:40 am | #

    Buahahahahhaah!

    Oh joyce.

  56. Just Me
    Just Me
    June 1, 2014 at 4:44 am | #

    Ah, aside from the Juvenile Humor Factor, why didn’t Joyce just go outside the building and pick up her gloves? Or better yet, why doesn’t she just go shopping and buy herself a pair of cool gloves?

  57. Oxyvolt
    Oxyvolt
    June 1, 2014 at 4:45 am | #

    Next pornographique will be about Sarah having some solo time. I might be wrong, but now, I can tell you “Ha, see, I was right!” if it happens.

  58. Taigan
    Taigan
    June 1, 2014 at 5:14 am | #

    Funny as this is, I’m a bit perplexed why Joyce would be rooting around the drawer without looking in it. Even if she can identify gloves by Braille, wouldn’t it be faster to just look?

  59. Alex C
    Alex C
    June 1, 2014 at 5:28 am | #

    At least she didn’t scream.

  60. Kathleen
    Kathleen
    June 1, 2014 at 6:27 am | #

    Does the bible say anything against female masturbation or is it just implied? I know men aren’t supposed to put their seed in the ground, and yer not supposed to lust over other people before marriage but if you somehow managed to not think of someone while you did it, would it be Christian?

    • Eromer
      Eromer
      June 1, 2014 at 8:02 am | #

      Kathleen, back in my days of living with a rule-based faith as my main priority, the question you just posed would torture me. You framed it exactly as I would think over it. I still have no answers….but my faith is more fluid and mystical now (think Alan Watts ) and I just accept ambiguities as a beautiful part of life…..and I have a lot more inner peace because of it 🙂

    • Silly goose
      Silly goose
      June 1, 2014 at 9:19 am | #

      Hopefully this becomes a full Joyce storyline. With her budding sexually it would be nice to see her at another crossroads with her faith and her feelings.

      I have a feeling she’d be one of those wondering if she would even still be a virgin if she used one of those.

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      June 1, 2014 at 10:53 am | #

      Of course, Onan’s deal was that he was supposed to be knocking up his brother’s wife and pulled out, so the connection to masturbation is pretty tenuous. Even if the passage is taken as a general rule against jizz on the ground, it doesn’t say anything about gym socks or tissues.

    • Salmo
      Salmo
      June 1, 2014 at 11:12 am | #

      Masturbation = lust
      Lust = sin

      It’s just that easy. Plus, in the patriarchy/purity culture, which is at the very least an influence on Joyce’s family, having sexual thoughts is considered morally equivalent to cheating on your future husband.

    • RandomRedMage
      RandomRedMage
      June 1, 2014 at 11:33 am | #

      The real question is, if one were to masturbate without ANY impure thoughts at all, would the penis stay hard to ALLOW the masturbation to actually occur?

    • Bill
      Bill
      June 1, 2014 at 12:24 pm | #

      Frankie say: Relax, don’t do it.

  61. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    June 1, 2014 at 7:02 am | #

    Say “Hello” to my little friend!

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 2, 2014 at 3:34 pm | #

      Not all that little.

  62. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    June 1, 2014 at 7:39 am | #

    Oh God.

  63. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    June 1, 2014 at 7:52 am | #

    I thought Joyce had read up thoroughly on ‘sparkly plastic man-dangles’… then again, she may have scrubbed her mind clean of such info, afterwards…

    Pity, she could really use of these, to deal with her… strange dreams…

    • ZORK
      ZORK
      June 1, 2014 at 3:12 pm | #

      I was wondering the same. A strap-on looks most likely very similiar to a vibrator, after all.

      I maybe she’s in some sort of denial here, because she doesn’t want to think too much about the sex life of her room mate?

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        June 1, 2014 at 9:18 pm | #

        The hook bit might’ve thrown her off.

  64. SilverArrowArtemis
    SilverArrowArtemis
    June 1, 2014 at 8:04 am | #

    *dies of laughter*

  65. Nebulous
    Nebulous
    June 1, 2014 at 8:07 am | #

    That’s an odd looking Sonic Screwdriver.

  66. BlackIo
    BlackIo
    June 1, 2014 at 8:32 am | #

    This is pretty much the best thing.

  67. Walky
    Walky
    June 1, 2014 at 9:21 am | #

    I shall call it the pump action shotgun!

  68. RootyToot2oot
    RootyToot2oot
    June 1, 2014 at 9:37 am | #

    You continue to be a genius in comic storytelling. Happy, happy, happy. Don’t you ever quit.

  69. Chubsius
    Chubsius
    June 1, 2014 at 10:17 am | #

    Willis, can it be canon that Amazigirl owns this “batman” themed dildo, because Batman? I kind of want one just because, Batman, don’t you?

    http://www.docjohnson.com/collections/super-hung-heroes/superhung-heroes-thecapedcock-black.html

  70. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    June 1, 2014 at 10:17 am | #

    Joyce is having a rather unique and enlightening morning so far. At fhis point anything can happen.

  71. Jack
    Jack
    June 1, 2014 at 12:31 pm | #

    Joyce, no! What would Chastity Churchmouse think about this?

    • Kintrex
      Kintrex
      June 1, 2014 at 12:32 pm | #

      Hey, it doesn’t count if it’s made of plastic.

      • HorchataShake
        HorchataShake
        June 1, 2014 at 1:54 pm | #

        actually, silicone is much more sanitary and prefered. Plastic harbors bacteria.

      • Jack
        Jack
        June 2, 2014 at 4:23 am | #

        She’s not 23 though, so her dad owns her vagina.

  72. HorchataShake
    HorchataShake
    June 1, 2014 at 1:54 pm | #

    Also Willis, TIL how young your user base is.

    • WeezerLuvr3030
      WeezerLuvr3030
      June 1, 2014 at 3:21 pm | #

      How patronizing and accepting of the Madonna-Whore dichotomy is the user base?!

      *reads thread*

      Feminism is dead.

  73. Jen
    Jen
    June 1, 2014 at 2:16 pm | #

    I think Joyce should educate herself by reading the webcomic http://www.ohjoysexytoy.com . Then, when she encounters the random vibrator, she’ll know exactly what it is and how well it performs. 😉

  74. Ironbillie
    Ironbillie
    June 1, 2014 at 4:07 pm | #

    Man Sarah that is one nice ( and pricy ) sex toy you got there.

  75. Gareth
    Gareth
    June 1, 2014 at 4:10 pm | #

    We’ll I’ve binge read all of dumbing of age, I now has something to fill the gap when shortpacked finished. Though I can’t help but imagine the following scene when I read Monday’s shortpacked

    Shortpacked: you reek of binge reading…you’ve been reading dumbing of age haven’t you? Haven’t you?

    Me: No shortpacked, you’re the only walkyverse comic for me

    Shortpacked: don’t lie to me! It’s because she’s younger isn’t it!

    (Despite all the doubt and friendship related paranoia the inside of my head is a really fun place to be at times)

  76. Fen_Star
    Fen_Star
    June 1, 2014 at 4:42 pm | #

    Sarah, you should put your toys in a clearly labled opaque box, along with anything else people don’t want to know about. No one would open a box labled “sex toys.”

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      June 1, 2014 at 5:10 pm | #

      … That’d be the first box they open!

  77. Tenn
    Tenn
    June 1, 2014 at 5:25 pm | #

    Oh, Joyce. X-toy!

  78. man in black
    man in black
    June 1, 2014 at 6:26 pm | #

    Question is who is going to be more embarrassed?

  79. Anon
    Anon
    June 1, 2014 at 6:41 pm | #

    My comments got deleted? I’m just curious as to why, Willis, and I’d really appreciate an explanation. Thanks!

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      June 1, 2014 at 8:22 pm | #

      New commenters have to have their posts approved by me first before they appear on the page.

      They were not deleted. I was just taking a nap.

  80. Eebiot
    Eebiot
    June 1, 2014 at 6:47 pm | #

    Sees comic, laughs.
    Sees comments section, “WTF did I just walk into?”

  81. XMinusOne
    XMinusOne
    June 1, 2014 at 8:49 pm | #

    It’s The Milkshake Maker from Ronco, Joyce. Just put ice cream and milk in a glass, turn the MM on and stick in in. In minutes, you have a nice frothy milkshake and don’t worry, it’s waterproof. Nothing is more pleasurable than a good milkshake. Offer void where prohibited by law.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      June 1, 2014 at 9:08 pm | #

      Does it bring all the boys to the yard?

  82. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 1, 2014 at 9:38 pm | #

    Darnit

  83. Tealjoy
    Tealjoy
    June 1, 2014 at 10:22 pm | #

    I didn’t think we’d come back to this so soon haha first strap-ons now vibrators

  84. LuckyStar7
    LuckyStar7
    June 1, 2014 at 10:36 pm | #

    We have all had this weird moment as a child.
    Yes, I’m willing to bet even you,Yotomoe.

  85. Heavensrun
    Heavensrun
    June 1, 2014 at 10:44 pm | #

    I can’t believe in over 300 comments, nobody has asked for a large version of panel 3. Panel 3 is comedy gold. Panel 3 is the punchline of the comic, as far as I’m concerned.

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      June 1, 2014 at 11:51 pm | #

      I can’t believe Willis actually takes requests from the comments section, as opposed to Tumblr or Twitter.

  86. Keith the verbos and boring
    Keith the verbos and boring
    June 2, 2014 at 9:29 am | #

    FGBLOTD…priceless. Better than a dog with a bone.

  87. Roborat
    Roborat
    June 2, 2014 at 3:36 pm | #

    While I was expecting a vibrator joke to show up eventually, I anticipated it to be Dina finding it, then wandering around the floor asking people what it was.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 2, 2014 at 3:38 pm | #

      And to Sarah, you should look into the Hitachi Magic Wand, that sucker plugs into the wall, and has a VERY powerful motor. And technically it is a legitimate muscle massager, so you have a cover story if somebody does see it.

  88. JA
    JA
    June 9, 2014 at 12:47 pm | #

    Oh Lawds…

  89. tahrey
    tahrey
    July 28, 2014 at 12:11 pm | #

    Panel 3: wide eyes
    Panel 5: sudden sharp intake of breath in place of public gales of laughter
    “What is … describe your reaction to this strip?”

    Well played once again, Willis.

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