Discussion (204) ¬
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net ⋅ 15h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 2dDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 22d
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Joyce, God watches from above, not the hallway, stop trying to be sneaky
Jesus is just outside the door watching her and taking notes like a driving instructor.
“terrible…just terrible”
Jesus is in another dorm, what are you talking about
[srsly, that’d be funny]
Saint Young Men: the college years
Please make that happen!
Buda ftw!
New headcanon: Jeshua Josephson is a junior with an advice column in the IDS
Thank you Joyce, but your Messiah is in another dorm.
“Here, ust let me take the wheel.”
I’m sorry, your Jesus is in another castle.
God is ceiling cat?!
That’s pretty much what the bible says.
Billie. Nothing about dating, apparently. But she seems to know quite a lot about doing the dance of many mambos.
Every mambo but no. 5
Actually she is a huge Lou Bega fan.
You mean Perez Prado.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOuRWkLP-dA
Looked it up. Liked it. Posting it here ‘cuz it’s a much better song than the one Lou Bega released.
Mother of god why do you all know that!
Some of us are really old. Personally I would have made a Rudy Valentino joke…
Dammit, now I have that song stuck in my head right before I was about to go to bed…
Hey at least you don’t get two version stuck in your head…yeah, somehow I got the Bob the Builder version stuck to my head too.
My condolences. And may you have pleasant dreams of Lou Bega serenading the DoA relationships to that very tune.
Better the song than the singer.
I wonder if Joyce will ask Billie about Mambo No. 6?
Personally, I’m surprised ol’ Jenny knows there even was a sixth one, myself…
But can she do the bedroom tango?
That’s all well and good, but can she do the Horizantal Monster Mash?
Or the bedroom pretzel?
Horizontal Bop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3TzSNk9kPU
Tube Snake Boogie
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcs9yaRdWU1rit1fvo2_500.gif
“C’mere, Joyce, I’ll show you how”
aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mambo, Tango, Marangue, Rumba
Mambo, Tango, Marangue, Rumba
It’s easy like playing Roshambo! You’re in time for doing the Mambo!
Check your pulse and suck on a mango! You’ll need juice for doing the Tango!
It’s not gonna kill you like Dengue! You just wanna do the Merengue!
There’s no need for taking a number! You don’t need permission to RUMBA!!!
A Rhythm is a virus with no akin’
Once you got it, You’ll be shakin’!
It’s one Germ that you’ll be Thankful for!
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRhaha
A Rhythm is a virus you can make it!
Once you’ve got it You can’t shake it!
It’s one Germ that you’ll be thankful FOOOOOOOOR
A Rhythm is a VIIRUUUUUUUUS
hachachachacha!
And then Yotomoe collapses to sleep, presumably?
Oh, Joyce.
The end is nigh, right? The end is DEFINITELY nigh?
Dear god, please let the end be nigh.
Darn it, Rorschach. Go picket somewhere else.
Indecisive Rorschach should be a thing. He could walk around carrying a sign saying “The End is Nigh?”
“The city if afraid of me, I think. I have seen what may be its true face, or a fake one, I’m not sure yet. The streets are something, a trough or a gutter, I dunno, and you know what this metaphor isn’t going well, I should start over.”
“…And all the whores and and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”and I’ll whisper…Maybe.”
“I’m not locked in here with you…I guess.”
“No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise… unless you really, really insist.”
“We’re locked in here together, if we want to be accurate.”
“Do it, I guess!”
“…And all the whores and and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”and I’ll look down and whisper…Hodor.”
Fixed that for you.
Indecisive Rorschach is now my new favorite thing, thank you.
Same here
You take their dick.
And you shove it in your mouth.
“Do you chew 40 times before swallowing? How long does it take to grow back?”
aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAa
*breathes*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
Opposite reaction. Literally LOL.
Heh. Me too.
First a hand, now this? Oh Ten, your vanity knows no bounds!
SWEET ROBOT JESUS…..NOOOOOOOO
B: “Wait, let me call up this website. It can show you things.”
J: “Oh Joy Sex…Toy; How…To…Suck…Cock…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADEEPBREATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…………………………………..
“How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?”
“Let’s see…one…ta-WHOO…three *chomp*. Three!”
“Thing is… he might be a little gay though.”
“Have you considered…”
“Don’t say strap-on.”
Dat mouth.
So mine didn’t post, after posting. weird.
As I said…I don’t believe this.
Billie? Joyce, I know you don’t know much relationships and all but Billie is the absolute last person I would ask for help on this.
That’s because you know many things about Billie that Joyce does not. However, Joyce is not wrong that Billie probably seriously knows how to really go to town on someone.
Billie: The first step is to drink this Joyce
Billie then hands Joyce a bottle of vodka
Is this a good idea? Well if it ends in a spit swapping make out match then I am all for it.
This is the beginning, Joyce has snapped.
Nah, when someone snapped, they started seeing red and leave a trail of blood and a pile of dead bodies in their wake.
Anti Joyce Rises.
Hopefully this time nobody gets shot in the head.
Hopefully this time somebody gets cumshot in the head?
Poor Billie.
Also, when did Joyce learn the phrase “go to town”? I wanted to look through the archives but I’m technically supposed to be studying.
Wait, I though go to town meant beating the living snot out of someone?
“Go to town” could mean all kinds of very different things. It is totally dependent on context.
It mostly just means going all out in the given situation.
Well, beating it out is one way, and it has the consistancy of snot, but it shouldn’t be green.
Well then Joyce wouldn’t have any need to ask Billie for help.
He already has plenty of practice “going to town” from dating Joe.
Internet maybe? She learned the term “shipping” there.
Maybe she thinks it means something else. Billie will launch into a graphic sex talk, and Joyce will stand there horrified and say “No no, I meant like holding hands without your parents present and watching PG-13 rated movies!”
so betting pool how much longer before she blows like a billion dicks
We could ask the same question of Ethan.
I’m betting it’s 37.
Is that time or dicks?
Why not both?
In a row?
All on the same person? Cause that’d be interesting
She’s still six weeks away. Err, six weeks strip time, not real time.
The Slipshine of it will be epic, and I’ll be able to tell my great-grandkids about how I was around for the first DoA Slipshine, back when the comic was still in 2D and Willis’ grandfather wrote it.
Nah, Willis will still be the one writing those strips. Sure, he’ll technically be dead at that point(Michael Bay has hitmen. Who knew?), but he’ll get his buffer into early 2106 before he goes.
Why would Michael Bay needed a hitman anyway? And if he has one, shouldn’t some of the Earth’s population (me included) be dead by now?
I will say that never before has a slipshine managed to have a character blow a billion dicks and it not get boring even a little.
I love the idea of DoA being handed down from generation to generation. Which generation, do you think, will have the honor of actually depicting the characters’ graduation?
Ssssh. People complain about that happening in the newspaper comic pages.
Generation? We will have evolved into a new species by then.
NOW
*gesures*
KISS
http://www.coolestfamilyever.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/now-kiss.png
Gotta love Joyces response.
I just saw that response “to my only non Walky friend cause she doesn’t know any better…to wit Joyce says..’I don’t, actually.
Rofl
Wait, Walky is Billie’s only friend? Huh, I would’ve thought that Billie would be a tad more popular.
The problem is that when you so frequently talk about how much more popular you SHOULD be, it tends to not actually happen.
She really hasn’t put any effort into anyone except Ruth, and Ruth hates her. When they went to the beach it was because of Joyce. She doesn’t really know Dorothy beyond that she’s Joyce’s friend, she has this “rivalry” thing going on with her roommate, and while she was kinda popular as a backup RA when Ruth was drinking heavily, she never really was on the level with the other girls, instead thinking of herself as superior. The only real reason Walky is her friend is because they grew up together.
That is kind of one of the points of Billie. She *was* popular, in high school. It has taken her a while to see that that doesn’t always translate. And she had one other friend – Ruth. But she screwed that up.
Billie hasn’t managed to ingratiate herself to anyone yet. Dorothy would possibly be a friend to her if she was around her much, but she doesn’t really have any bond with anyone besides Joyce and Walky, since Sal has been gone so long and Sarah and she blew it with Ruth. She’s in a very awkward stage in life right now.
Billie had friends in high school, but her popularity, and it seems her friends, didn’t follow her to college. The only people here who really like her are Walky and joyce. Dorothy and Dina are mostly neutral to her and Sarah openly hates her.
Hate is a bit of a strong word, but she does find her quite annoying, since they have very different work ethics, or just ethics in general.
So you are saying that Sarah despises Billie. Because hating her would take too much of Sarah’s Jacob gazing time.
Joyce has at least some self awareness about her shortcomings by now, but naturally, still has much to learn.
It’s wonderful that Joyce exists in comic land. In real life she’d be a little unbearable. Here, she’s adorable.
I can’t even bare it in comic land D:!
Rule 34, if you acn’t do it, someone else will
*Pulls up a chair and popcorn*
Ladies and gentleman, this may be the start of the best thing ever.
You think it’ll outdo the vibrator thing?
Joyce has just unknowingly engaged in Cockney rhyming slang.
(huh huh i said “Cockney” huh huh)
Wow — you’re right! I hadn’t caught that. Nice!
How much does Billie know about Joyce? About who Joyce is calling her Boyfriend? If not much, then Joyce is bound to get some wrong advice.
I don’t believe Billie is aware about Ethan’s orientation, though in part I think it’s since she’s met him all of like once.
I like to imagine Billie likes to think any guy she finds hot is okay with making out with guys as well.
Hence her thinking Ethan would be okay with lip-smacking dude is par for the course.
Okay, Billie, the thing is, Joyce is a mostly naive and innocent girl who isn’t going to understand your explanations.
Obviously you’ll need to demonstrate by making out with her if you want any of your information to stick.
Why waste time, just shove her face straight in your boobs.
Nah, it doesn’t work anymore. People today are desensitized to that sort of thing.
There is no resistance to Billie’s boobs. You are either born immune or you are at their mercy.
Well, if it you put it like that….
Gay men, Straight Women, All gendered and Sexed people the world over. ALL GIVE INTO THE MIGHT THAT IS BILLIE’S RACK.
New super hero idea.
She flies around with a giant boob window, to defeat villains she just directs their attention to her rack.
She slowly pulls away some of the fabric and they’re sucked into an endless void.
That doesn’t even remotely sound like a punishment.
I gotta say, I was a male version of Billie for a while there in my 20s. I only ever had relationships that were only sex, not a lot of actual dating. I knew what I was doing in the bedroom, but not really how to be a boyfriend. I didn’t start really wanting more until about 4 years ago. I’m now engaged and am getting married in March.
congrats!
Going to town? I love going to town! Especially to bookstores!
Joe: *Rushes in, completely out of breath* I sensed that I was needed
Joe’s powers allows him to detect hormonal change in the opposite sex and magically appears to join her or them…because he can.
With great penis comes great responsibility
He busts through the wall like Kool-Aid man.
Penis first, because he’s Joe.
No he teleports and Billie and Joyce will be “Where the heck/hell did you come from?!”
Tuckerspace.
He’s already there, standing behind the door like Dina.
W-wait, I thought she went to lunch with Walky. Did she change her mind after the Ruth stare?
This is maybe an hour later. You can see Joyce had just started decorating when they left, and she just FINISHED decorating when you see Walky coming back.
Ah, you’re right. I forgot that the scene transitioned over to Danny’s perspective for a wee bit.
At this ponit I’m not sure if she know’s that “going to town” means banging.
Yeah, I thought she meant beating up Ethan or something.
I thought she had no idea to use public transit.
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
So, Willis, your next Slipshine is going to be Billie’s demonstration, yes? Like how a lead cheerleader would explain a move to a newbie by showing it off. Except this will be Billie explaining, then suddenly having to make Joyce position herself a certain way because she needs the other body to demonstrate the move properly… http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1453
“Joyce and Billie read a porn together. FOR INSTRUCTIONAL PURPOSES!”
Or as Padok Wiks put it, in the interest OF SCIENCE!
“Billie demonstrates the best course of action on how to suck like a billion dicks”
Long title but I think it works.
Why not 37?
“First, when you open your mouth, remember to part your teeth.”
I guess they’ll be using a strap-on?
Joyce is unaware dating is not ‘going to town’ on someone. Sorry Joyce, it doesn’t mean going to town to go on a date and make out heavily.
If Joyce can’t get her gender studies lessons right, I fear with great fear what the result of Billie’s teachings will be.
Also, what exactly is Joyce’s plan right now? To force herself on Ethan in an attempt to screw him straight? I’m calling it now, if that happens it’ll trigger the red background of doom and flashbacks to the party. Extra damns to Willis if it triggers her memory and she actually remembers everything that happened that night.
Wait, what? I thought she remembered all that happened already: she thwarted everything but the drugging by whacking the guy with her glass (with Sarah’s follow-up batting).
Yeah but she rather not remember that sort of thing. I mean, do you want to even remember the traumatic things you faced?
I know I don’t.
But Joyce did ask if the nice pastor’s son was all right, so apparently there were some things that did not make it to long term memory after the drugs took effect.
Which also means that the memories cannot be recovered by whatever trigger.
Unless I’m wrong. There are many alcohol-induced holes in my memory. (I blame space aliens from the planet Minibar.)
They made it to her subconscious memory because she still sees him in her nightmares.
It’s not like nobody told her what happened.
She was told why her hand was bandaged and a brief outline of what had happened — “You smashed a cup in a boy’s face …. he drugged you”. Sarah never told her exactly *WHO* it was that had drugged her or who she gashed.
I think you’re reading that wrong. They told her off-panel.
Oh man. We’re getting a new superhero?
Dear God. Amazi-girl gets a sidekick, the Billidick Wonder.
I’m calling double red flashbacks of doom if she starts trying to screw Ethan straight. She’ll flashback to the party, He’ll flashback to the convenience store and prom. We probably will end up with a new hero as Ethan starts going after rapists and possibly Sal and definitely Joyce.
I like how hero has become synonymous with “Person who uses violence to deal with their many psychoses”.
Hey, both Amber and Ethan admire the Bat franchise. A group of heroes who use violence to deal with traumatic incidents.
Eh. Never really liked Batman (for that reason lol). However, he does have my favorite villain, The Joker ^_^
Though it’s really not saying much, because my favorite hero is Iron Man.
What weirds me out is the writers who think Bruce Wayne can be interesting without a Robin.
There’s some small child who has to deal with all his bullshit. That’s what makes all his rage and trauma matter.
As opposed to the original meaning of hero: Someone who gets others killed.
(Fortunately, Batman is the kind of hero who would never koll anyone.)
Meanwhile, Sal: “Why da fuck are are all these crazy masked people tryin’ to beat me up al the time???”
This is something that can’t really be explained so much as demonstrated
Billie has failed dating but is summa cum laude in one-night stands.
{Oh, and her nickname is “Lassie”! :D}
Why do they call her Lassie?
Get her up in the equipment room.
Good, someone got the reference! Three points for you!
I have a very bad feeling about this.
http://i.imgur.com/s9BrtRf.png
Edit I did a billion years ago of panel 3
What was that?! Joyce coming into the room after killing Amber? Or Ethan?
Neither. She used Sarah’s toy the wrong way.
Panel three is completely terrifying. Its what I expect to see if Gozer came to me and asked me to pick the form of the destroyer and I thought of DOA.
It works really well with what she’s saying in that panel, too.
Man, I had a very busy schedule to stick to of wallowing in my own misery. Damn all these fools and their need for my wisdom!
uh-oh
Hmm…Joyce wants to keep Ethan from being gay, Billie recently failed at being gay…she might actually be really helpful!
How does one “fail to be gay”? By being straight or bi?
Well according to the British courts, a lesbian asylum seeker probably isn’t really a lesbian unless she’s attended pride parades and read Oscar Wilde. So I guess I’m lucky that I was born here, rather than fled here from a homophobic foreign government, as I also fail to be a proper lesbian under our wonderful, wise legal definition. And here you thought gayness was about who you found attractive!
….ugh.
Please tell me you’re joking.
Oh my, this duet i hadn’t thought about. This friendship will be fun.
Gosh darn it Joyce! He doesn’t wants you and the point was you not doing this!
Billie is so focused on herself and/or drunk that she is a fount of misinformation and bad advice. She thinks Sal is AG and almost attacked Danny just for a little information. Of course Sarah’s not been much help, as Joyce wants man hands on her, not mechanical phalluses. Dorothy might give her some useful advice, but no one with any sense would help her plan a semi seduction of Ethan. Hence she asks Billie
Step 1: Make sure he isn’t gay.
Read that as, “Go down on somebody”.
And in obedience to the universal laws of comedy, Joyce goes to just about the worst person possible for relationship advice.
Joyce’s ultimate problem is simple: Joyce needs to learn to define Joyce, and Joyce’s wants & needs internally, and not in terms of what others want for Joyce.
I can relate. Growing up, I wasn’t encourage in a lot of self-independence. Not for religious reasons, but for others. Learning how to deal with the real world was a bongo.
I think she just wants to know what she’s supposed to do when she wants more than a chaste kiss, in which case Billy might be the best person. She knows all about BC, and she’s been around the block a few times. She’ll tell Joyce in blunt terms that she can’t misinterpret. Like, “This is sex, this is what you need to do to get him off, what he needs to do to get you off, and then you both go home happy”
Just you wait, it’ll turn out that Joyce is like some kind of boner savant. Like the Kwisatz Haderach, but with dicks.
Little did Jacob know how true his ‘suck like a billion dicks’ quip would turn out to be…
The Spice Channel must flow?
Forget what I said about Amazi-Girl.
THIS is the plane that’s going down.
AWESOME.
Is that a thing people do? Talk about sex like that? I’m being serious, is that a thing actual people do like Billy and Joyce do here?
inb4 YES.
What about it seems implausible?
Is that… Really so hard to beleive?
Ahahahayes. Is it that unusual to you?
…or do you mean the phrase ‘go to town’? Because I’m pretty sure Joyce is just talking about licky style right now.
People do! Especially in university. I’ve never been the type to ask or talk about that stuff myself but friends asking friends questions is pretty common.
There are a lot of people who like dispensing their advice regardless of whether it was invited or not and it can be varying qualities.
Obviously this will end with Joyce and Sal making out on the motorcycle.
Why is Joyce pointing to that door in the last panel?
Because the town is that way.
Jacob is waiting in the hall.
Wait..What does that mean in America? You guys have really different (Read: Wrong) definitions of most sexual acts compared to Europe
It is not anything specific. It is equivalent to “really get down to business”, “do thoroughly and with much enthusiasm”.
Ah fair enough, it’s mostly the bases you do really weird to us. Pretty much the same in this case but usually implies violence/force
I can sympathize with Joyce… My BF is bi and I’m entirely straight. I love him, even though there are times when he kinda makes me feel uncomfortable. There are times when I wish he was just straight, but I love him enough that I’m not going to try changing him. The best I can do is try to make him as comfortable as possible with himself.
Why? If my GF had a problem with me liking dudes I’d leave her. That’s like…Nearly homophobic. Joyce has a reason to think so, homosexuality is wrong to her.
Whelp. This ends in tears and likely Ethan getting dragged out of the university closet kicking and screaming.
Panel 3 Joyce will swallow your soul.
Doyyy.
And Billie needs a hug.