Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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carla you implied you'd stop being insufferable once you figured it out, c'mon
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June 8, 2026

Sleuthed

by David M Willis on February 25, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Three's a Crowd
└ Tags: carla, marcie, sal

Discussion (198) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    February 25, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    sorry Sal, she has done ALL THE THINGS

    • Wire Segal
      Wire Segal
      February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      There are no things left to do. Therefore… *mind enters horrible tangents theorizing what she’s done*

      • All Hail Dina
        All Hail Dina
        February 25, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

        Ah, but has she done… THE MIKE?!?!

        Okay, this is bad and I admit it – she’s not even a mother yet.

        • Nurrah
          Nurrah
          February 25, 2015 at 7:43 am | #

          Grumpy Sal and Mike… I could uh, get into that. (I don’t normally ship folks but I think tumblr is wearing off on me) >.>

          • tim gueguen
            tim gueguen
            February 25, 2015 at 11:46 am | #

            I suspect Sal is too much of a lightweight in the misanthropy department to appeal to Mike.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              February 25, 2015 at 2:57 pm | #

              Wait, IU has a misanthropy department?

              • The_Master
                The_Master
                February 25, 2015 at 8:58 pm | #

                Yes, they call it Indiana University.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          February 25, 2015 at 8:14 am | #

          Marcie not only did the mike, she dropped it.

          *thump* *feedback*

          • JWLM
            JWLM
            February 25, 2015 at 6:27 pm | #

            Is this thing turned on?

        • vic
          vic
          February 25, 2015 at 9:28 am | #

          mike could arrange that for a nickel

    • NCP19
      NCP19
      February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      And then some?

    • podian
      podian
      June 14, 2015 at 12:43 pm | #

      WE HAVE LEARNED ALL THE KNOWLEDGE.

  2. Spencer
    Spencer
    February 25, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Grumpy Sal is adorable.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      February 25, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      I know right !?

    • la6uɐ mous
      la6uɐ mous
      February 25, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      True

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      February 25, 2015 at 8:17 am | #

      Is Sal being what you call ‘tsundere’? Cuz I’m thinkin’, tsundere.

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 25, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Never realised Sal was such a party-pooper.

  4. Khantalas
    Khantalas
    February 25, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Apropos of nothing, Carla looks quite nice in this outfit.

    • TheLurkerAbove
      TheLurkerAbove
      February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      So does Sal. But it is Sal. <3 Sal.

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        February 25, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

        Sal looks nice in any outfit. Or even in NO OUTFIT AT ALL.

        • F.
          F.
          February 25, 2015 at 6:14 pm | #

          dun dunn dunnn

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      February 25, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Eh, the top could stand to be a little shorter. IRL it’d probably be fine since you can see textures etc, but here the blue blends with her daisy dukes and makes it look like a onsie. If we could see more of the shorts that probably wouldn’t happen as much.

    • Stifyn Baker
      Stifyn Baker
      February 25, 2015 at 1:57 am | #

      I’ve never found that whole ‘pockets sticking out of the bottom of the shorts’ look attractive. Yes, by all means wear REALLY short shorts if you’ve got good legs, but lose the pockets, please.

      • Jonathan Woodward
        Jonathan Woodward
        February 25, 2015 at 6:57 am | #

        The pockets thing actually has a lot of semiotics and culture-war bound up in it. The most obvious is that we are seeing something traditionally hidden. The inside part of pants pockets is classically private, invisible, only to be seen when pants are coming off. By allowing that part to show, she is crossing a barrier, and tweaking the mundane, but without, y’know, having her ass hanging out of the back of her pants or whatnot.
        Further, there’s the whole fashion war over women’s clothing having pockets. Most women’s clothing has no pockets, decorative pockets, or very shallow pockets (as Walky & Dorothy discussed a while back). Carla here is demonstrating that she has *real* pockets, consarnit, and she refuses to hide them just because the fashion industry says she shouldn’t have pockets. Asking her to hide them can thus be seen as a form of “correction”, as discussed by Leslie way back re: The Muppets.
        …Or am I bluffing?

        • Doktor doktor professor
          Doktor doktor professor
          February 25, 2015 at 8:04 am | #

          You’re totally bluffing. I can tell because you talk like social scientists talk when they want people to think they’re scientists. “Semiotics” is a code word for “here comes bullshit”.

          • Yet Another Laura H.
            Yet Another Laura H.
            February 25, 2015 at 9:02 am | #

            I’ve found that being aware of how we talk and think about things clarifies the apprehension of our environment greatly— and by “clarifies” I mean “increases the effectiveness,” and by “the apprehension of our environment” I mean “our grant proposals.”

            As for the actual topic, I think it’s a signal that “I cut these off for comfort, not sex,” although it’s probably more likely that the jeans had a tear in them and cutting the legs off was faster than mending them in a way that didn’t look like spider vomit and cheaper than buying a new pair of shorts.

        • Halloween Jack
          Halloween Jack
          February 25, 2015 at 10:31 am | #

          Oh, good grief, they’re just Daisy Dukes.

          • Kang the Unbalanced
            Kang the Unbalanced
            February 25, 2015 at 10:09 pm | #

            John, they’re only Daisies.

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      February 25, 2015 at 11:45 am | #

      She really, really does.

  5. MeghanTheWorldEater
    MeghanTheWorldEater
    February 25, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Carla going back on her word? Heaven forbid.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 25, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      HOW CAN THIS BE??? 😛

  6. Dude
    Dude
    February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Wait, I know I must be super dumb or something, but I don’t get it.

    • Carriethedragon
      Carriethedragon
      February 25, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      I think Sal’s jealous that Marcie, with whom she previously had a pretty exclusive superclose friendship, is now also friends with Malaya. Rather than expand the circle and skate with them, she’d rather ignore anything involving Malaya. I can understand this, seeing as I was the Sal figure in a very similar situation in fourth grade, but… I mean, c’mon. That was fourth grade.

      • GoogerGeiger
        GoogerGeiger
        February 25, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        Oh… I thought maybe Sal had romantic feelings for Marcie.

        • LeslieBean4Shizzle
          LeslieBean4Shizzle
          February 25, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

          The two aren’t mutually exclusive…

        • Carriethedragon
          Carriethedragon
          February 25, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

          Also an option. I’m a fan of that option.

        • Jason
          Jason
          February 25, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

          But how would that explain why she doesn’t roller-derby?

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            February 25, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

            She doesn’t like sharing Marcie with other people.

          • Doctor_Lantern
            Doctor_Lantern
            February 25, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

            Maybe Marcie has romantic feelings for Malaya…? And Sal don’t like it? Or it could really just be replace “romantic” with “friendly” in above comment. I have no clue.

          • Freemage
            Freemage
            February 25, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

            Roller derby involves a lot of close physical contact. It’s not uncommon to end up in a heap together. If you’re not as blind to your own feelings as, say, Danny, but are also not comfortable with them, you will make sure you avoid situations where Joe is likely to jump out of the bushes and shout, “Now KISS!”

      • Kris
        Kris
        February 25, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        Who’s to say we all aren’t still in fourth grade? Isn’t life just boiled down to the cruel dog eat dog world of the afternoon blacktop?

        • MichaelHaneline
          MichaelHaneline
          February 25, 2015 at 1:57 am | #

          A few minutes reading the comments section on any mainstream site makes it seem that AT LEAST 90% of the population seems to be stuck at that age.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 25, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        And this is Dumbing of Age, where we work through issues from elementary school.

    • OrtyBortorty
      OrtyBortorty
      February 25, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Me neither…

    • Beachfox
      Beachfox
      February 25, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      Sal is jealous/miffed over any activities that involve Marcie hanging out with people who aren’t Sal.

      Must suck to finally get back from psudo-prison/private-school in another state and have your childhood best friend hanging out with other people over you.

  7. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Sal stuffs.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      February 25, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      I thought Sal stuff consisted of Riding A motorcycle up and down a street just for the sake of it, doing her Math Teacher but not her Math Homework, playing Mario Kart and verbally tearing her brother a new one.

      • Kris
        Kris
        February 25, 2015 at 7:01 pm | #

        Also public drinking/smoking and jet skiing.

  8. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Baked a ham? Yes.

    Assembled a particle accelerator from chewing gum and twine? Yes.

    Wrestled a shark wearing a bolo tie? Yes.

    Which one of them was wearing the bolo tie, Marcie or the shark? Yes.

    Marcie has done all the things.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 25, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Marcie’s last name is MacGyver?

      WHOA!

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      February 25, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

      Has she patted her head while simultaneously rubbing her tummy?

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        February 25, 2015 at 1:06 am | #

        And wearing a bolo tie.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 25, 2015 at 9:19 am | #

          Marcie was Mister Torgue in a previous life?

          No wonder she’s voiceless in this universe: Mister Torgue can’t not explode things while he speaks– if not with actual explosives, then by the sheer volume of his words.

  9. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Last panel Carla is extra cute. ^_^

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      February 25, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Seriously, she’s adorable but if we said that to her face she would kill us both.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 25, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        That’s the perils of the tsundere/yandere.

        • grantimusmaximus
          grantimusmaximus
          February 25, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

          The perils are worth the payoff sometimes!

          • StClair
            StClair
            February 25, 2015 at 3:24 pm | #

            Agreed to all of the above.

            Me, I get it from the new default gravatar of her too. Dat smirk.

      • Gamaran Sepudomyn
        Gamaran Sepudomyn
        February 25, 2015 at 6:15 pm | #

        Not kill us, but she would definitely fall over laughing due to the sheer number of insults overloading her brain.

  10. Kris
    Kris
    February 25, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    If you weren’t being so sour on Malaya all three of you could have done all the things together Sal. Malaya might actually be dare I say….fun.

  11. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 25, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Oh, I get it! It’s because… because…

    Okay, I have no idea.

    • Jason
      Jason
      February 25, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Me neither.

      • grantimusmaximus
        grantimusmaximus
        February 25, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        Oh thank zeus i thought i was the only one who has not figured it out.

        • MeghanTheWorldEater
          MeghanTheWorldEater
          February 25, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

          Carla hasn’t actually figured it out either she just wants to appear superior.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      February 25, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

      I think Sal liked that Marcie primarily pays attention to her and doesn’t like sharing their time together. She won’t derby because then she’s sharing Marcie with the teama nd she doesn’t like Malaya hanging out with them either.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      February 25, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

      Apparently Sal doesn’t like it when Marcie hangs out with other people.

  12. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    February 25, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Sorry Sal, Malaya has satisfied all or Marcie’s needs. Now she must sleep before round two begins.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 25, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      That’s actually how skaters breed is prolonged rollerblading.

    • Dean
      Dean
      February 25, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      All of Marcie’s needs. All of them.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 25, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      I never realised that Malaya was soooo talented. 😀

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 25, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        There’s a reason she’s the best.

  13. Zaidyer
    Zaidyer
    February 25, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    “See ya tomorrow! Maybe!”

    Oh Groundhog Day, you’re the gift that keeps on giving… and giving…

  14. nothri
    nothri
    February 25, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    Is it because of Malaya? Is Sal suffering a kind of Malayaese?

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      February 25, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      boooooooooooooo

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        February 25, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        GET OFF THE STAGE !

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 25, 2015 at 2:07 am | #

          *grabs the shepherd’s crook*

      • ArcaneDarkness
        ArcaneDarkness
        February 25, 2015 at 8:44 am | #

        Willis, your gravatar send a mixed message in this case.

    • Doctor_Lantern
      Doctor_Lantern
      February 25, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      I’d congratulate you on the pun, but the Willis hath spoken…

      • MelanieWaffle
        MelanieWaffle
        February 25, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        Wait are we not allowed to congratulate puns we find interesting?

        • MelanieWaffle
          MelanieWaffle
          February 25, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

          Just realized willis commented. I’m am idiot

      • tortoiseshell bat
        tortoiseshell bat
        February 25, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

        A groan or boo is the proper method of pun congratulations, though!

        • Orbit Junkie
          Orbit Junkie
          February 25, 2015 at 4:00 am | #

          Pungratulations?

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          February 25, 2015 at 8:27 am | #

          Throwing tomatoes is also acceptable.

          *toss* *splat*

          • nothri
            nothri
            February 25, 2015 at 6:11 pm | #

            First rule of punnery- outbursts of laughter, groans of pain, or fits of rage all count as a victory.

    • Sailor_Arashi
      Sailor_Arashi
      February 25, 2015 at 9:09 am | #

      That was incredible.

  15. Lawzlo
    Lawzlo
    February 25, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    I love that Carla’s pockets descend below the bottoms of her shorts, Wet Hot American Summer-style.

    http://carboncostume.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/victorpulak.jpg

  16. Doctor_Lantern
    Doctor_Lantern
    February 25, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Sal being so jealous that she is also being petty is actually kind of fun to see…

  17. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    February 25, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Time to vent her Anger with MARIO KART !!!

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      February 25, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      On Second SMASH BROS instead, hope Danny traded up to That because its the better Game.

  18. Gangler
    Gangler
    February 25, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Sal, she wasn’t a part of that conversation. She doesn’t understand the reference.

  19. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 25, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Does Sal just enjoy having a ciggy in her mouth or is she a chain smoker?

    • Kris
      Kris
      February 25, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      I think it’s both. She told Danny she just likes the feeling of a cig in her mouth.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 25, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        I think that feeling alone is calming to an addict.

        • tyersome
          tyersome
          February 25, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          Wait, why would she be orally fixated she had such a happy childhood …

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      February 25, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      How often her cigarettes seem to be actually lit? I’m too lazy to crawl the archives to check.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        February 25, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

        I apparently was also too lazy to put a do between the often and her. Poor, neglected do.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 25, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

        Often enough for her to have that distinctive smell, at least.

      • Koms
        Koms
        February 25, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

        Wasn’t she smoking a couple of strips back?

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 25, 2015 at 9:56 am | #

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/wall/
          Yeah. Her cigarette doesn’t look like it’s lit, but the smoke had to come from somewhere. (Maybe she’s using an e-cig?)

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            February 25, 2015 at 9:40 pm | #

            E-cigs bear no physical resemblance to paper-and-tobacco cigarettes.

            • Kang the Unbalanced
              Kang the Unbalanced
              February 26, 2015 at 10:40 pm | #

              Except for the ones that do.

    • nothri
      nothri
      February 25, 2015 at 6:13 pm | #

      She did just have one in her mouth the first time she met Danny, if I recall correctly.

  20. MelanieWaffle
    MelanieWaffle
    February 25, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    Wait she didn’t do all the things because she neglected Sal. Is it even possible to not want to hang out with Sal?!?!

  21. grantimusmaximus
    grantimusmaximus
    February 25, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

    Willis! The people demand a grumpy Sal plush, complete with tiny cigarette and motorcycle.

    • MeghanTheWorldEater
      MeghanTheWorldEater
      February 25, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      We need a kickstarter! Like yesterday! 😀

      • Ailorn
        Ailorn
        February 25, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

        I’m in 🙂

    • Doctor_Lantern
      Doctor_Lantern
      February 25, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      And an Amazi-girl plush, complete with fake 3DS and Amazi-condom in belt pockets?

      • grantimusmaximus
        grantimusmaximus
        February 25, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

        OF COURSE

      • No Name
        No Name
        February 25, 2015 at 6:23 am | #

        Don’t forget the removable mask and cheek stickers, and the Beat-up-Blaine doll. Squeeze him and his eyes pop out!

  22. John
    John
    February 25, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

    Is Carla even constitutionally capable of not being insufferable?

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      February 25, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      Why would she want to stop?

  23. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    February 25, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    I find it hilarious Sal’s problems are the most banal and normal.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      February 25, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

      I wouldn’t count on that. After all we haven’t gotten much detail on what happened during Sal’s boarding school days.

  24. Em
    Em
    February 25, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    I think she’s a little ticked at Sal, and is being passive aggressive.

    • Em
      Em
      February 25, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      Uh. This was *supposed* to be a reply to MelanieWaffle.

  25. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    February 25, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

    I wonder what Sal is implying by “home”? The mysteries keep piling up…

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 25, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      The place where Marcie lives?

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        February 25, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

        Which may not be an actual home from those quotation marks.

        • StClair
          StClair
          February 25, 2015 at 1:39 am | #

          Nah, I read that more as a “whaddya mean, ‘Home’?”, in reply to an unseen sign.

          Marcie is giving her simple, one-sign (word) answers, as if it’s a perfectly ordinary and casual thing that she’s blowing Sal – SAL! – off. The cheek!

          • JessWitt
            JessWitt
            February 25, 2015 at 3:57 am | #

            Hmmm, I s’pose you’re right. I might have been getting too interested in Marcie’s new status as a non-IU cast mate.

          • MiaKitty
            MiaKitty
            February 25, 2015 at 12:10 pm | #

            Also, one word replies in ASL are hella rude. Which, if Sal and Marcie had studied Deaf culture at all while learning, they would know.

            I like to think that they did and they know. If so, Marcie answering Sal without complete sentences could be a sign of her frustration with Sal.

            • David M Willis
              David M Willis
              February 25, 2015 at 12:16 pm | #

              If Marcie replied with a full sentence, like “I’m going home,” Sal would still reply with “‘Home?!'” Because that’s the part she’s angry with.

  26. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    February 25, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    I confess, I’m troubled by the fact Ethan and Danny is the biggest opposition to Danny/Sal. Admittedly, Sal is more likely to approve of it than Amber.

    Or maybe not. I keep confusing Sal’s persona for her real personality when it’s actually just a construct to try to deal with the fact she’s very very insecure.

    OH WOE!

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      February 25, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

      Since neither Sal nor Danny have actually shown an interest in each other in this universe I’d say that’s the biggest opposition to them happening.

      The fact that Ethan has already halfway seduced Danny entirely by accident is simply icing on the Not Gonna Happen cake.

      • Carriethedragon
        Carriethedragon
        February 25, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

        Agree with timemonkey, but also, are we just gonna ignore the fact that Danny is totes dating Amazi-Girl?

        • MeghanTheWorldEater
          MeghanTheWorldEater
          February 25, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

          Not for much longer if Ethan keeps bein all sexy like he has.

        • Doctor_Lantern
          Doctor_Lantern
          February 25, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

          My thoughts exactly.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          February 25, 2015 at 8:10 am | #

          Because that’s already set to crash and burn, it’s kind of like Ethan/Joyce, a mistake that will destroy itself in time.

      • Orbit Junkie
        Orbit Junkie
        February 25, 2015 at 4:11 am | #

        Not Gonna Happen cake: A variety of cake that never was or will be. Often served at Unbirthday parties. Or Birthday parties if nobody loves you.

        • neeks
          neeks
          February 25, 2015 at 6:43 am | #

          Or Valentine’s day…if nobody loves you.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 25, 2015 at 9:26 am | #

          …So the Not Gonna Happen cake is a lie, then?

          • MiaKitty
            MiaKitty
            February 25, 2015 at 12:12 pm | #

            I’m so glad you said it so that I didn’t have to.

  27. Doctor_Lantern
    Doctor_Lantern
    February 25, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

    Just spitballin’ here, but… could there be romancin’s budding between Marcie/Malaya that Sal doesn’t approve of? (Hints the angers and jealousy…)

    Just a thought.

    • MeghanTheWorldEater
      MeghanTheWorldEater
      February 25, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      I think we can ship it.

      • Doctor_Lantern
        Doctor_Lantern
        February 25, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

        Can we ship it?

        YES, WE CAN!

      • neeks
        neeks
        February 25, 2015 at 6:45 am | #

        Of course we can ship it, we ship character pairs who have never even MET.

        • barefootbiker
          barefootbiker
          February 25, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

          For example, I’m shipping Ryan x Blaine.

          Wouldn’t they make a great villain duo?

          • Drakey
            Drakey
            February 25, 2015 at 7:54 pm | #

            You’re terrible. I will ship that only if it is shipped to the surface of the sun, where it and any shipping containers it came in contact with van be burned by pure, cleansing solar radiation and plasmic fire. Shut up, Chrome, plasmic is so too a word.

  28. Karloff
    Karloff
    February 25, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

    Nobody seems to have guessed the backstory: Sal used to skate with Marcie but some past skating accident caused by Sal destroyed Marcie’s vocal chords. Hence, Sal refuses to skate and sees in Malaya all the reckless stupid attitudes and behaviors that Sal has tried to shake off.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 25, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

      Yet Marcie misses skating with Sal, despite what it cost her? Interesting hypothesis there.

      • Nono
        Nono
        February 25, 2015 at 3:06 am | #

        Sometimes people who cause accidents carry more guilt than their victims.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        February 25, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

        I was hit by a car while I was crossing the street once.

        I wasn’t afraid of crosswalks before and I didn’t gain a new fear of them afterward. Crosswalks are totally cool and I will continue to use them. A random disaster need not turn you off from doing things!

        So what might be happening is that a random disaster turned Sal off from skating but not Marcie. Or maybe Sal was the cause of the disaster and hasn’t forgiven herself for it, while Marcie either already has forgiven Sal or is unaware of Sal’s involvement.

        Considering Sal’s skates still fit, it might have been fairly recent– within the previous couple of years.

        • John
          John
          February 25, 2015 at 1:20 pm | #

          Whatever happened to make Marcie lose her voice and cause she and Sal to learn sign happened “when [they] were kids”. I dunno exactly what Sal’s definition of “kids” is, but I don’t think she means within the last couple years.

          Also relevant: Sal’s been in exile in Tennessee for the last five years. I don’t know if Marcie followed her there or not, but it’s a lot easier for an 18-year-old to follow her friend to the local college than for a 13-year-old to follow her friend to a boarding school in another state. It’s possible that Marcie was also exiled there, but I can almost hear Linda talking about getting Sal away from that bad influence. (I really want to see Marcie in Avalon uniform now, though.)

          And Billie and Walky seem casually familiar with Marcie, and don’t show any notable reaction to her signing, but they’ve had little to no contact with Sal since her exile, so I’m thinking whatever happened to cause Marcie to lose her voice must have happened before then.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          February 25, 2015 at 11:33 pm | #

          Dude I had a guy try to kill me with a car, two different guys on two separate occasions. For riding a bicycle in the street no less. As soon as I get the last bike that was stolen from me back from the cops, I’m going to ride my bike in the street again, because otherwise the terrorists win.

          • Jen
            Jen
            February 26, 2015 at 11:29 am | #

            Huh. Where I live, bikes are considered vehicles and you have to ride them on the street, they’re not allowed on the sidewalks.

    • Em
      Em
      February 25, 2015 at 11:59 pm | #

      Actually I think it’s more likely that she got sick. My running theory is vocal cord paralysis. Here’s some info on it: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vocal-cord-paralysis/basics/causes/con-20026357

      Sometime people can lose their voices due to PTSD, which is known as selective mutism. (found a basic over view here: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/15718-selective-mutism/)

      I don’t think it has anything to do with skating. I think that Sal just doesn’t want to skate with them because she hates Malaya, and hates having Marcie’s attention be on someone other than herself.

  29. The Wizard
    The Wizard
    February 25, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

    Poor sal, I’d spend time with her.

  30. Kater
    Kater
    February 25, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

    I’d gladly suffer through any amount of Carla. Color me charmed!

  31. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    February 25, 2015 at 1:12 am | #

    Sal has proved that she can skate, better than was thought.

    I have 3 ideas why Sal is upset.
    My thoughts are that she doesn’t skate as well as Malaya and, being Sal she is not about to put herself in second place to anyone.

    Besides which, I don’t think she really likes Malaya all that well.

    And I think that she is upset that Marcie, her dearest childhood friend, is not picking up on this.

    One last thought, Marcie is sharp as Hell, I think she know exactly what Sal is bugged about, but being Marcie and not spineless: she is doing what she wants to do. She won’t give up other friends to be exclusive to Sal, after all she moved here to be with Sal. I think she knows Sal will realize that, hopefully.
    She came over to say goodnight and calmly went home, which means she’s sending Sal a message. It’s up to Sal to figure it out.
    I don’t think romance has anything to do with this whole arch.
    I think.

    • Em
      Em
      February 26, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      I agree. I tried to put a spin on it and try it with a “typical romantic couple” (aka male female) and it didn’t seem inherently romantic to me in that situation either.

      I don’t think Sal has a thing for Marcie. I think that Sal has very few people she considers friends, and is annoyed that her friend is not being friend monogamous with her, especially with someone she already dislikes.

  32. Kabo
    Kabo
    February 25, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

    Sal is rapidly plummeting from “awesomesauce” to “whiny child”.

    • tortoiseshell bat
      tortoiseshell bat
      February 25, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

      Or possibly just to “complex person with multiple facets and flaws”. One of those things.

      • Kabo
        Kabo
        February 25, 2015 at 1:38 am | #

        Not mutually exclusive. I stick to my guns.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 25, 2015 at 2:02 am | #

      Or we’re seeing who Sal has been all along: a girl who so desperately wants what her brother effortlessly manages – to belong. And the “awesomesauce” is actually armor.

    • cantelope
      cantelope
      February 25, 2015 at 4:02 am | #

      Actually I think this makes Sal interesting again.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        February 25, 2015 at 12:56 pm | #

        Same here. I like that Sal has some internal problems to deal with, since up until now everything that went wrong for her was caused by another party.

  33. XMinusOne
    XMinusOne
    February 25, 2015 at 1:39 am | #

    “Nobody loves me
    Everybody hates me
    I’m going out in the garden
    and eat worms.”

    C’mon Sal, the world doesn’t revolve around you. That ‘I’m a rebel’ crap only goes so far, then it gets old. People move on, have other interests, other friends, other places to hang out. Face it, kid, they’re outgrowing you.

    • StClair
      StClair
      February 25, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

      Honestly, I think she’s showing a side that’s a lot like her brother…

      • neeks
        neeks
        February 25, 2015 at 6:50 am | #

        Really? How bothered has Walky been by Dorothy’s interests and relationships that aren’t him? Cuz he seems pretty ok with not being the center of Dorothy’s universe. More time with her would be rad, sure but he’s not throwing a tantrum about it or anything, nor does he discount any of her non-Walky time activities as invalid.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 25, 2015 at 9:43 am | #

          Hell, Walky has on multiple occasions valued other things more highly than his relationship with Dorothy. Walky’s not all that needy! (I mean, he does have needs, and those needs are strange! But not in the same way or the same degree as Sal is showing here.)

          • Gordon
            Gordon
            February 25, 2015 at 1:07 pm | #

            But that would be because Walky’s needs have been consistently met throughout his life. Sal’s clearly haven’t. He doesn’t have to ask for things, or jealously guard the people in his life, because they’ve consistently been there. When Sal got to be “too much to handle,” her parents got rid of her(at least, from her perspective). Her twin brother apparently just ignored her after she went away.

          • StClair
            StClair
            February 25, 2015 at 3:19 pm | #

            Fair enough; I was thinking of the immaturity, mostly.

  34. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    February 25, 2015 at 2:01 am | #

    Marcie appears to be the only person who ever gave Sal undivided attention (Jason doesn’t count). And now Sal’s losing that. Meaning she’s being passed over for someone else again (from her POV). Hence: cranky.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 25, 2015 at 2:05 am | #

      Malaya is another Walky, in her eyes – someone who is stealing the attention she so desperately needs.

      • neeks
        neeks
        February 25, 2015 at 6:53 am | #

        And what’s “worse” is Malaya is actually putting effort into it, so it’s not like she isn’t “earning” it instead of just being self-entitled about it.

  35. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    February 25, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

    Smiling Carla, my kryptonite <3

  36. Thomas
    Thomas
    February 25, 2015 at 6:07 am | #

    I assume “Home” is only between quotation marks because Sal’s repeating Marcie’s answer back at her, but for a moment it got me wondering if there was something more to it. We don’t know where Marcie lives, but it’s not at campus, since she’s not a student at IU.

  37. Solenoid
    Solenoid
    February 25, 2015 at 6:56 am | #

    Carla’s not being insufferable, she’s being fantastic! 😀

  38. WeezerLuvr3030
    WeezerLuvr3030
    February 25, 2015 at 8:39 am | #

    There is no way for the reader to know what Carla means in this comic. It is epic trolling for comments. But Ima go with: Carla is staring at Marcie’s butt in the second last panel and realizing Sal alienates the derby girls because she wants to watch them skate away. As do we all.

    As do we all, Carla. *dreamy sigh*

  39. Sailor_Arashi
    Sailor_Arashi
    February 25, 2015 at 9:11 am | #

    This strip represents the only time I have ever liked Carla. Ever. Across all incarnations.

    DAMN YOU WILLIS! (she’s so cute in the last panel…gah!)

  40. Killjoy
    Killjoy
    February 25, 2015 at 9:20 am | #

    Shorts with the pockets sticking out the legs like that… well, let’s put it this way — they’re either just silly and trashy looking if you cut them off yourself, or silly and trashy and also foolish if you paid $100+ for them to come that way at the store.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      February 25, 2015 at 9:47 am | #

      The alternative is either being unable to wear short shorts, or being unable to have functional pockets on your girlclothes.

      Fuck fashion in its fabulous face.

      • Sailor_Arashi
        Sailor_Arashi
        February 25, 2015 at 10:27 am | #

        Yeah! At least she HAS pockets.

      • Killjoy
        Killjoy
        February 26, 2015 at 11:03 am | #

        Solution — don’t wear short-shorts.

    • heavvymetalqueen
      heavvymetalqueen
      February 26, 2015 at 3:24 am | #

      I cut all my shorts like that. I look fabulous. Argument invalid.

  41. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 25, 2015 at 10:19 am | #

    Quick Sal, offer her to do shit instead. Stuff just doesn’t cut it these days. She has already done all the stuff.

  42. JBento
    JBento
    February 25, 2015 at 10:31 am | #

    Marcie has already done ALL the stuff, including stuff nobody thought it was possible to do, like making Sal and Carla look even more adorable than usual. Really, 3rd panel Sal and 4th panel Carla are just phenomenal.

    She still hasn’t managed to beat Jen to first comment, though.

    • John
      John
      February 25, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

      Actually, Marcie used to be in Jen Aside’s gravatar, so there was a while when she was appearing before every one of Jen’s comments. While making out with Sal.

      • JBento
        JBento
        February 25, 2015 at 8:13 pm | #

        She truly has done all the stuff, then. No wonder she just has fun and then goes home, there are no goals left for her to achieve.

  43. November
    November
    February 25, 2015 at 11:39 am | #

    Fffff the tiny change of expression of Carla’s face between panels three and four is AMAZING. I had to do a double take to make sure there actually was a change. My brain noticed the change in emotion before it actually registered the change in her expression.

  44. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    February 25, 2015 at 11:57 am | #

    So, does Carla simply enjoying pestering Sal for its own sake, or does she enjoy pestering Sal because she’s attracted to her?

    • Sterling
      Sterling
      February 25, 2015 at 12:56 pm | #

      Carla’s ace.

      • Kathleen
        Kathleen
        February 25, 2015 at 1:33 pm | #

        She may be ace, but she could still have romantic feelings. So she could be emotionally/intellectually attracted, or even a version of physically attracted. Asexual just means you don’t want to have sex; many people express that differently.

        • Kitty
          Kitty
          February 25, 2015 at 4:19 pm | #

          If we’re going off of her Shortpacked version, she’s asexual and no has interest in sex, but is not aromantic (though her DoA version may not be the same). So she could have a bit of a crush on Sal, though I doubt it.

        • IJ
          IJ
          February 25, 2015 at 7:12 pm | #

          Asexual doesn’t mean you don’t want sex. It means you aren’t attracted to anyone. Plenty of asexuals have and enjoy sex.

          -Says the asexual woman dating an asexual man

          • Charles Fee
            Charles Fee
            February 25, 2015 at 11:03 pm | #

            “Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four variations thereof”
            Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure we’ve all had sex without sexual attraction at least once, but that’s not quit how that works. “Not attracted to anyone” is a matter of sexual dimorphism, not sexuality.

            • Rycan
              Rycan
              February 25, 2015 at 11:22 pm | #

              I don’t think sexual dimorphism is the right term, either – that has more to do with physical traits like height, shoulder width, and pelvis size.

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            February 25, 2015 at 11:16 pm | #

            Wait a minute – are we talking about the same phenomenon here?

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        February 25, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

        The joy of pestering it is then. (Carla’s book on the subject, appropriately titled The Joy of Pestering, will be released by Simon and Schuster in June of 2019.)

        • Gamaran Sepudomyn
          Gamaran Sepudomyn
          February 25, 2015 at 6:03 pm | #

          That sounds like a book from Dwarf Fortress.

  45. Kathleen
    Kathleen
    February 25, 2015 at 1:28 pm | #

    You can have super strong feelings for someone that are completely platonic. You can feel really possesive, especially when your hold on the “best friend” title seems in question.

    People get jealous of others for doing things with the people they like, especially if it’s something they can’t do.

  46. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    February 25, 2015 at 3:00 pm | #

    Carla in the last panel is the cutest thing. Actually Carla in every panel in this strip is the cutest thing.

    • neeks
      neeks
      February 25, 2015 at 9:09 pm | #

      That grin in the last panel is saying “I am judging you so much right now and the verdict is ‘hilarious’.” I love it.

  47. Kathleen
    Kathleen
    February 25, 2015 at 4:04 pm | #

    Now I really want to see Mike and Carla interract.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      February 25, 2015 at 9:15 pm | #

      Team them up with Joe and they’d probably cause a Hellmouth or other portal of evil to open.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 25, 2015 at 9:48 pm | #

        Or switch Joe with Sarah, and you’ll have a critical mass of misanthropy.

  48. nothri
    nothri
    February 25, 2015 at 6:31 pm | #

    Man, this is a hell of a problem. The only way to spend time with her best friend since she was in pre-K is to also spend time with Malaya.

  49. Nightsbridge
    Nightsbridge
    February 25, 2015 at 9:46 pm | #

    Technically, she implied she’d stop when Sal TOLD her.

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