Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Distracted

by David M Willis on September 16, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - To Those Who'd Ground Me
└ Tags: danny, ethan

Discussion (187) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 16, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    “Alternately, you need, like, a DRASTIC makeover.”

    “But I think I look pretty good?”

    “I DO TOOno wait”

    • Inkblot
      Inkblot
      September 16, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Danny gettin’ all territorial up in here

      • Knight
        Knight
        September 16, 2015 at 1:31 am | #

        Or anti-territorial, maybe.
        “NO I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE YOU MINE STOP BEING CUTE”

        • Inkblot
          Inkblot
          September 16, 2015 at 7:50 pm | #

          tsundere desu

    • Tayo
      Tayo
      September 16, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

      ethan needs to go back to that arc 1 watermelon haircut

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        September 16, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

        even better…?

        • Tayo
          Tayo
          September 17, 2015 at 4:08 pm | #

          better.

  2. Nightsbridge
    Nightsbridge
    September 16, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    You might as well give up and go poly right now.

    • Archivist
      Archivist
      September 16, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      Please.

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        September 16, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

        Pretty please with condom safe flavored lube on top.

        • nooB
          nooB
          September 16, 2015 at 4:52 am | #

          bah, flavored lube tastes really bad… it mostly tastes like normal lube (which tastes pretty bad) plus artificial flavors… which isn’t that great either

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            September 16, 2015 at 8:20 am | #

            eh, some people are into artificial strawberry gums.

            (I hate those. urgh)

    • Thnikkaman
      Thnikkaman
      September 16, 2015 at 11:58 am | #

      I was just coming in here to post the same.

      I’ve been doing poly long enough that I’m sitting here wondering why there was tension, and then I realized “Oh yeah, these folks think Monogamy is the only way”.

      • monkyvirus
        monkyvirus
        September 16, 2015 at 7:33 pm | #

        Poly is an orientation (a relationship orientation rather than sexual) you either are or you aren’t people don’t get into poly cause it’s easier (which it isn’t it comes with it’s own challenges as I’m sure you know). For some people there is a click where you go “oh this is a thing? That’s what I am!” but many people are just monogamous.

        I’m mono and I have a poly boyfriend (who already had a poly gf when we started going out who also has another partner). So despite going out with someone poly and being down with it I am still completely monogamous and I think Danny probably is as well. I would be interested to see if someone brings it up but we should remember Ethan is Amber’s ex so even if poly was ok for everyone this specific combo may not be.

  3. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    September 16, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Listen to Danny, Ethan. If you’re left single any longer, he’s gonna jump you any second now.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      September 16, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      If he’s left single any longer, he’ll turn into a singaylarity ?

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        September 16, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

        (so would Daisy, I guess)

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        September 16, 2015 at 6:45 am | #

        Sin-gay-lay-ity?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          September 16, 2015 at 5:52 pm | #

          So that’s how you pronounce it.

  4. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    September 16, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    You’re getting less subtle here, Dan.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      September 16, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      He’s about to dan it up, in spite of everything.

      • electromagneticDestroyosaur
        electromagneticDestroyosaur
        September 16, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        In his attempts to do right by Amber, no less. This is an impressive level of Danning.

        • Inkblot
          Inkblot
          September 16, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

          “I would like to have a threesome with you and the boy who you dated but turned out to be gay, who I am also attracted to.”

          genius

          • CulturalGeekGirl
            CulturalGeekGirl
            September 16, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

            “I am really attracted to you and really enjoy what we have, but I’m also finding myself attracted to the guy you used to date and I’m sorry I feel like I’m fulfilling your worst fears but at the same time lying about it is probably worse?”

            Of course, that’s waaaaaaaaaaaay to smart and honest to come naturally from Danny… but I’m fairly sure it’d be the least disastrous way to go.

            • TheGrammarLegionary
              TheGrammarLegionary
              September 16, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

              Really, for all his faults, Danny is actually a very honest person. Still way too smart, but maybe he’ll stumble across it?

              • CulturalGeekGirl
                CulturalGeekGirl
                September 16, 2015 at 1:36 am | #

                I don’t think that Danny is dishonest, but he’s not especially… forthcoming? Like, if he thinks a thing is likely to cause embarrassment or a conflict, he will avoid the subject until it becomes impossible not to?

                As someone who has the opposite problems, there are a lot of times when my full disclosure too early causes problems, so it’s kind of a Danned if you do, Danned if you don’t situation I guess.

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  September 16, 2015 at 3:07 am | #

                  I feel ya’. I really, really do.

                • TheGrammarLegionary
                  TheGrammarLegionary
                  September 16, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

                  That was truly well-written and insightful, and I thank you for having posted it.

              • DarkoNeko
                DarkoNeko
                September 16, 2015 at 8:34 am | #

                He’s honest to a segfault, if I dare say.

          • Smiling Cat
            Smiling Cat
            September 16, 2015 at 2:10 am | #

            No, no, no, not smooth enough. Danny and Ethan walk in on Amber, and Danny says “Threesome?”

            Amber enthusiastically agrees. Dina pokes her head in saying “What?”

            Danny’s response: “All right, foursome.”

            Becky follows Dina, and Mike shows up because someone’s using his shtick. Bringing your mom and a roll of nickels, of course. Dotty, Walky, and… JOYCE!

            It escalates to the point of a sexularity. The comic ends with a full page panel of Daisy, still desperately wanting to get laid.

            • Usayasha
              Usayasha
              September 16, 2015 at 4:44 am | #

              Your comment has moved me. I now feel like there is no more satisfying a way to depict an orgy than to imply that it is happening and, in place of the orgy, show a lonely, desperate, single person who wants to get laid. My eyes have been opened. The way is clear.

              *I See The Light from Tangled begins to play*

            • jpic89
              jpic89
              September 16, 2015 at 5:29 am | #

              You basically just described the base plot of Ma3, lol.

              • DarkoNeko
                DarkoNeko
                September 16, 2015 at 8:13 am | #

                hahaha

              • Cabinderada
                Cabinderada
                September 16, 2015 at 11:17 am | #

                Far too true. Comment made me actually laugh, not LOL

            • Jepmz
              Jepmz
              September 16, 2015 at 5:45 am | #

              Mary: What’s going on here?
              Ethan: We’re the aristocrats!

        • Wizard
          Wizard
          September 16, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

          At this point, he’s reached fractal Danning: no matter how closely you examine it, all you find is another level of Danning.

  5. gkheyf
    gkheyf
    September 16, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    the mask comes off!!! ruuuun!

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      September 16, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      What’s next,the moon crashing on our surface?

      • Cephalo the Pod
        Cephalo the Pod
        September 16, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        Shit, did anyone get the Giants?

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        September 16, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        Anyone have an ocarina? I misplaced mine.

        • GreyTheDefender
          GreyTheDefender
          September 16, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

          I found it, but some brat with a freaky mask ran off with it after kicking me in the shin and stealing my left shoe.

        • Captain Batson
          Captain Batson
          September 16, 2015 at 12:52 am | #

          I can’t even find my talking hat that’s actually a cursed Minish dude.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        September 16, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

        Someone calls the Gurren team.

    • evilmidnightlurker
      evilmidnightlurker
      September 16, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

      I wear no mask.

  6. sjmcc13
    sjmcc13
    September 16, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Just wait till you crush on Ethan’s boyfriend as well Danny…

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      September 16, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Therefore, it’s gotta be Jacob, eh? Eh??

      (sorry Jacob, it’s gotta be you)

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        September 16, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        ((not sorry))

        • electromagneticDestroyosaur
          electromagneticDestroyosaur
          September 16, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

          Thanks for that mental image. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time I called my old friend, Other Jacob…

          • Inkblot
            Inkblot
            September 16, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

            Apropos of nothing, I am wondering if Walky has an Other Dorothy.

            • Disloyal Subject
              Disloyal Subject
              September 16, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

              I kinda doubt it. So far as I’m aware, not many guys bother with masturbatory aids beyond lotion, and that’s money that could be spent on cartoons and McNuggets.

              • GreyTheDefender
                GreyTheDefender
                September 16, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

                That’s a surprisingly well-thought-out response considering the subject.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  September 16, 2015 at 5:54 pm | #

                  Well, Disloyal Subject is a clever clogs in that respect.

            • Ayame
              Ayame
              September 16, 2015 at 6:15 pm | #

              Well, maybe he doesn’t have an Other Dorothy, but seeing how things are going he could consider investing in an Other Ethan.

  7. Thor
    Thor
    September 16, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Danny, you should honestly know this by now, but if you want anything to go well, you have to make sure that you are in no way involved.

  8. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    September 16, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Quick, AmaziGirl and Boy Blunder, to the gay mixer!

    • Lawzlo
      Lawzlo
      September 16, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

      Thank you. Just thank you. You’ve made my night.

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        September 16, 2015 at 3:42 am | #

        You’re welcome. 😄

  9. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    September 16, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Danny strikes me as the kind of person who loses all sexual attraction to someone the second he finds out they’re unavailable.

    • Someone
      Someone
      September 16, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      He is the god of faithfulness.

    • Mada
      Mada
      September 16, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Which fits with his sudden desire to find Ethan a boyfriend.

      Oh this is gonna be good.

      (Here’s to hoping he tells Ethan to “go try talking to that guy”, points at an attractive guy, but Toedad just happens to walk into the path of his pointing at that exact second.) )

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        September 16, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        haha, oh man, that reminds me of a story I need made into a comic… the punchline is, dude gestures and asks, “Sexy?” as soon as our dumpy friend walks up

      • Someone
        Someone
        September 16, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        Wait a sec, did Ethan and Sal ever actually get a picture or description of toe dad. Its hard to look out for someone when you don’t know what they look like.

        • electromagneticDestroyosaur
          electromagneticDestroyosaur
          September 16, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

          Sal knows about his shuttlecock-like appearance, but Ethan may well be in the dark on this one.

          • Someone
            Someone
            September 16, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

            Ethan: Well I didn’t meet your father, but this nice mustached man in camo pants wants to talk to you!

            • electromagneticDestroyosaur
              electromagneticDestroyosaur
              September 16, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

              I’m just picturing Ross attempting to save Danny and Ethan’s souls as the perfect distraction.

              • Someone
                Someone
                September 16, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

                Ethan and Danny vs Ross.
                Despite having help from Mike they won’t be able to defeat him, eventually though Joyce will return and battle Ross. Ross will eventually kill Becky causing Joyce to turn into a super fundamentalist.

        • Steve
          Steve
          September 16, 2015 at 5:03 am | #

          If Joyce doesn’t have one on her phone, their church/homeschooling org would have him somewhere on their website…

  10. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    September 16, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    So let’s leave it alone/If we can’t see eye to eye…
    There ain’t no good guy/There ain’t no bad guy
    There is only you and me
    And We Just Disagree

  11. saki
    saki
    September 16, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh Dannyboy, darling. You’re getting more obvious by the second. I hope for Amber’s sake and your physical health she doesn’t see you pining over someone other than your girlfriend.

    • Someone
      Someone
      September 16, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Well we know that Danny would never touch Ethan while still dating Amber. The problem is if Amber knows this.

      • saki
        saki
        September 16, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        I doubt she does. And even if she does know it rationally, that doesn’t mean she understands it emotionally (not sure I’m saying this clearly, but I don’t know how else to phrase it).

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          September 16, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          That’s a pretty good way to phrase it. The thing about feelings is that they’re not always logical.

        • de Combys
          de Combys
          September 16, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          I think that it’s a very nice way to phrase it.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          September 16, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

          It’s clear.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        September 16, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

        Amber knows Danny is annoyingly faithful.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 16, 2015 at 2:18 am | #

      Or worse, planning to have a parallel relationship with her and Ethan so that he doesn’t have to confront choosing one over the other.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 16, 2015 at 7:54 am | #

        I doubt he’s the type to do that. Tear himself up on the inside as he struggles with his identity and his attraction but his very mono-centric ideals that are so central to his unfailing loyalty and faithfulness, on the other hand…?

        Yeah, this is going to be interesting.

  12. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    September 16, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Ethan, how dare you be so *there* and so *existant* in this world, that’s really not fair. Your being-ness is distracting poor Danny!

  13. Paul
    Paul
    September 16, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    “By persistently remaining single, a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.”

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      September 16, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

      Nice one

    • StClair
      StClair
      September 16, 2015 at 11:07 pm | #

      *claps*

  14. Cody
    Cody
    September 16, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Will Joyce’s sister get involved again?

    • detective boomwolf
      detective boomwolf
      September 16, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Wait, Joyce has a sister? Seriously, I know I’m new to the Walkyverse and stuff, but I feel like that’s something I’d remember reading.

      • Cephalo the Pod
        Cephalo the Pod
        September 16, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        Jocelyne. You might know her as Joshua.

        • detective boomwolf
          detective boomwolf
          September 16, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

          Woah… that happens? I really need to readthe other Walkyverse works, I missed a lot.

          • Cephalo the Pod
            Cephalo the Pod
            September 16, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

            What? No, in Dumbing pf Age. It’s from the last storyline of Book 3.

            • detective boomwolf
              detective boomwolf
              September 16, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

              …. Beginning to wonder how long its been since I read that chapter, because I feel like thats somethint I’d definitely remember happening.

              • timemonkey
                timemonkey
                September 16, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

                She’s still closeted and passing as male.

              • Kinoko
                Kinoko
                September 16, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

                I believe the only one of in-comic cast she’s out to is Ethan.

      • John
        John
        September 16, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

        Her name is Jocelyne.

      • electromagneticDestroyosaur
        electromagneticDestroyosaur
        September 16, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

        Jocelyne? I know our society is blind to the plight of our transgender brethren (sic), but this is ridiculous.

        • My Username Was Taken
          My Username Was Taken
          September 16, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

          It was easy to miss, considering it was revealed in a single page, and then never mentioned again. AFAIK, Ethan is the only character who knows, and he never mentioned it to Joyce or anyone else.

          • John
            John
            September 16, 2015 at 1:06 pm | #

            And the reveal wasn’t a direct statement, but an implication, so easy to misunderstand, and she didn’t reveal it until just after she left, so literally every interaction she’s ever had with anyone in the comic has been under the assumption that she’s a dude.

            But there were like seventeen million comments discussing it at the time.

        • detective boomwolf
          detective boomwolf
          September 16, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          My bad, didn’t mean to throw any shade (I wonder how many other people will know what that means…) I tend to forget things that could be considered crucial. Apparently, this fact is one of them.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            September 16, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

            That’s not what that means.

            • detective boomwolf
              detective boomwolf
              September 16, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

              Wait for real? Because if so, then there’s a good chance i’ve been using that wrong for a while. Man, I have been off my game lately.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      September 16, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      Oh, please let her get involved, but in heels this time. Because heels are so pretty on tall girls.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        September 16, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

        It’s all fun and game until someone breaks a knee.

        • BenRG
          BenRG
          September 16, 2015 at 3:19 am | #

          Some women have instincts for managing heels. Others do not. Those who do not should refrain from wearing them for their own safety.

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            September 16, 2015 at 6:58 am | #

            Damned straight, and that’s why I don’t wear the damned things. Well, that, and since I never wear them, I don’t have any practise wearing them… Also since I didn’t grow up in them my feet don’t fit in them since I have mostly Celtic toes from my Mum so they aren’t as pointy as mainland Europeans, so they don’t fit well, so I don’t wear them, so I can’t walk in them…

            It’s a convoluted and vicious cycle.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      September 16, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      Oops, more like women.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 16, 2015 at 2:26 am | #

      FWIW, my long-term prediction is that Joyce will end up having a falling-out with her parents over Becky (and, possibly, supporting Jocelyne) and Jocelyne will end up her ‘parental-ish support person’ for a while.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        September 16, 2015 at 8:16 am | #

        That sounds nice, tho writer isn’t exactly a well paid job.

  15. electromagneticDestroyosaur
    electromagneticDestroyosaur
    September 16, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    As overwhelmingly adorable as these two are, I think today is the day we get a reprieve from the entire comments section begging for a slipshine immediately.

    Because “Disagree” would be just a bit dark for Willis, I think.

    • nothri
      nothri
      September 16, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      Pffff. You’ll never get anything with that attitude. Now is the time to double down.

      • electromagneticDestroyosaur
        electromagneticDestroyosaur
        September 16, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

        I’m just saying, that last panel doesn’t bode well for immediate sexing.

        • Inkblot
          Inkblot
          September 16, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

          untz untz

        • de Combys
          de Combys
          September 16, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

          What are you talking about? Angst is a whole genre of sexing.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 16, 2015 at 2:19 pm | #

      It would be nice.

  16. filler
    filler
    September 16, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    I feel like this boyfriend search is going to lead to Ethan finding out about Danny’s crush on him.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      September 16, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

      I’ve been waiting for this since the shower scene.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 16, 2015 at 7:59 am | #

      It might.

      It will definitely lead to a lot of awkwardness as Danny tries to sidle up with his idea of subtle:
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/butt/

      to a bunch of queer men and awkwardly flirt with them as he stumbles around with trying to set them up with Ethan. I see at least one instance of someone reacting favorably to Danny’s attempts but assume Danny is just hitting on him and Danny freaking out about it.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        September 16, 2015 at 8:18 am | #

        Aah, reading that bit again, Danny actually changed some bits. More than we give him credit for 🙂

  17. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    September 16, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Danny! No! This “unchain my heart” bullshit is bullshit. It is definitely not some other person’s fault that you find them attractive and don’t want to control yourself.

    • Mada
      Mada
      September 16, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      This is an act that is part of the behavioral pattern known as “danning it up”

      • electromagneticDestroyosaur
        electromagneticDestroyosaur
        September 16, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

        If it continues, we will adapt our catchphrase to “Dann you, Willis!”

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          September 16, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

          *snort*
          Wow I almost spit out my coffee there.

        • BB
          BB
          September 16, 2015 at 2:38 pm | #

          That’s a Dann good phrase.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 16, 2015 at 8:08 am | #

      Yeah, it’s interesting that a lot of Danny’s problem comes from his belief in a very specific type of narrative regarding relationships, one that has unfortunately been hammered home time and time again (we can safely presume) for him by his “we were high school sweethearts and you need a relationship to complete you” parents.

      He hero-worships his romantic partners and potential partners, holds to ideas about “relationships” to the detriment of what the people inside of them need (his insistence of clinging to a narrative about what a relationship is supposed to develop into blew up his relationship with Dorothy to both of their detriments), and so on.

      Honestly, as much as I’d love poly representation and think that DEA could be a cute little V, I think Danny and his ideas of relationships are why it won’t happen. Amber has been shown to be very amenable to the idea of 3somes and watching men kiss and be intimate and Ethan would probably thrive in a relationship where he doesn’t feel primarily or entirely responsible for fulfilling a partner role and where there is less pressure on him overall.

      But Danny has a whole vision of a one true love that you spend all your days with and subsume yourself completely and unwaveringly faithfully to and all of this baggage and as such would probably have the most trouble switching to that paradigm, which is why he’s happy defining and maintaining Amber’s hard limits between her diverging personalities.

      It’ll be interesting to see if he’ll be able to learn to shed himself of this training and these narratives as he matures as that was not really an arc he got to complete in the other universe.

      • SwanBlossom
        SwanBlossom
        September 16, 2015 at 3:02 pm | #

        I don’t think Ethan or Danny would be likely to suggest a polyam relationship, so it would probably have to be Amber after she finds out. If Amber were to be the one suggesting it I think that Danny might actually agree to it.

      • StClair
        StClair
        September 16, 2015 at 11:10 pm | #

        Well said.

  18. Safgaftsa
    Safgaftsa
    September 16, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

    You won’t like Danny when he disagrees.

    • neeks
      neeks
      September 16, 2015 at 4:37 pm | #

      A lot of people don’t seem to like him regardless.

  19. HorchataShake
    HorchataShake
    September 16, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

    Danny wants to hop on it so bad.

    • Arianod
      Arianod
      September 16, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

      Danny wants it to stop being so hoppable XD

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        September 16, 2015 at 2:28 am | #

        Basically, yeah. Danny is still in denial and seems to be determined to just avoid dealing with it at all.

        • neeks
          neeks
          September 16, 2015 at 4:39 pm | #

          To steal someone else’s gimmick:

          *wicked game plays on the muzak*

  20. hikaru
    hikaru
    September 16, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

    to be fair danny isnt exactly the only one here that disagrees with the idea of ethan staying single

    • hikaru
      hikaru
      September 16, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

      though i think most of the fans PROOOOOOOOBABLY have different reasons.

  21. 6Qubed
    6Qubed
    September 16, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

    aw man, you should’ve named this strip after the last panel

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      September 16, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

      He did the hovertext though

      • 6Qubed
        6Qubed
        September 18, 2015 at 6:19 am | #

        he had a golden opportunity for a hat trick, angrier version of myself

  22. Arianod
    Arianod
    September 16, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

    “Stupid sexy Ethan!”

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      September 16, 2015 at 3:44 am | #

      “Nothing at all!
      Nothing at all!
      Nothing at all!”

  23. brumagem
    brumagem
    September 16, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

    Oh good, at least Danny knows what his own feelings are.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      September 16, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

      Your grav makes this sound menacingly sarcastic.

  24. Rycan
    Rycan
    September 16, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

    Because only one of you being unavailable isn’t deterrent enough, I guess.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      September 16, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

      Eh, it’s probably deterrent enough, but it means there’s a temptation there that Danny would probably rather not have to fend off all the time.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 16, 2015 at 8:13 am | #

        Yeah, he’s unlikely to act on it, but having this be in existence is definitely scrambling him up both on a “aieee, having attractions in the first place is a form of disloyalty” level and a “what even is bi and what does this mean” level.

        It’s pretty clear that he knows his tools for processing his attractions to women according to his internal compass (which isn’t always great), but that the attraction to guys is a variable he just doesn’t know how to handle yet. He’s too Danny to act on it, but it’s just so new and different and rife with personal identity discovery for him to put it in the same background radiation box as his attractions to women who aren’t his girlfriend.

  25. Xailenrath
    Xailenrath
    September 16, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

    Myeahhh.
    ‘Cause pawning him off on some other guy will TOTALLY get rid of all that yearning and tension.
    That happens.

    • Rowen Morland
      Rowen Morland
      September 16, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

      Danny is a born player 2. He’ll be good just watching.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        September 16, 2015 at 8:05 am | #

        Ooh, kinky!

  26. Liz
    Liz
    September 16, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

    Danny, noooooo.

  27. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 16, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

    Danny is… asserting himself? 😮

    *Starts klaxon, puts on hard hat, runs around in circles*

  28. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 16, 2015 at 1:16 am | #

    Next: Danny, Joyce and Amber team up in “the Ethan shipping league.”

  29. Saaaam
    Saaaam
    September 16, 2015 at 1:52 am | #

    “Amber, I’m breaking up with you to bone your gay ex-boyfriend.”

    • neeks
      neeks
      September 16, 2015 at 4:40 pm | #

      Did you mean “I’m breaking up with your alter ego”?

      • Usayasha
        Usayasha
        September 16, 2015 at 5:42 pm | #

        “Amazi-Girl, I’m sorry but I’m breaking up with you.”

        “But why?!”

        “The entire dynamic of our relationship was just too much for me, and I need more. Besides, there’s… someone else…”

        “What? How?! Who!?!”

        “Okay, so think Nightwing in civilian clothes and also a homosexual, and then make him a bit taller.”

        “…holy shit, that’s hot.”

  30. Heather
    Heather
    September 16, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

    Danny, if the fact you have a girlfriend and are thus ‘unavailable’ yourself doesn’t stop you from having fantasies will Ethan getting a long-term boyfriend really help stop them?

    I guess you could argue that it might be an extra road block to /Ethan/ actually /acting/ on such things though as I think may happen in your fantasies. Even if it’s far from a fool proof plan.

    For one thing, anyone you set him up with could suck (thus it doesn’t last anyway) OR you get Ethan talking to you about it as you fantasise about saying Ethan deserves so much better and you kissing/taking him away from this terrible relationship blahblahblah what a cliche Danny, Christ OR if they’re actually really great you could slowly descend into thinking about them too, along with Ethan, thus double the trouble.

    ‘Course, it could work out fine but somehow I doubt that.

    Also there’s the fact Ethan might feel he’s not ready to get a boyfriend yet anyway, as I probably get from this strip, rendering this all moot, and it would suck to force that on him before he’s comfortable with it.

  31. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 16, 2015 at 2:02 am | #

    Bad times ahead for Amber and Danny, IMHO. Danny looks like he’s decided that he wants his cake and eat it (to use the incomprehensible saying). He seems to think he can lead two parallel lives without either affecting the other.

    What am I saying? Well, IMO at least, the ‘get you a boyfriend’ means ‘have a relationship with me’. and the previous panels meaning ‘I have no intention to tell my girlfriend that I’m bisexual’. Nothing good can come of such a mindset.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      September 16, 2015 at 5:04 am | #

      It seems more like Danny wants Ethan to find a boyfriend so he becomes unavailable and thus is no longer a temptation to Danny. At least that’s what his rationale seems to be.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        September 16, 2015 at 8:16 am | #

        This. Danny probably also knows that he pines less over women when they are taken and so hopes this will be the case with his dude crush as well.

        Though, with regards to Ben’s statements, the fact that he’s not feeling confident enough to talk to Amber about all of this is going to bite him in the ass. Maybe not in jealousy, but just because not talking about things with a close romantic partner leads to a lot of contention and stress within the relationship.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          September 16, 2015 at 12:21 pm | #

          Well, even with Dorothy (and at the Questioning with Ethan) he was hesitant to talk about it with Amber. I guess it’s that he thinks saying it will change things? It was kind of like that when I started coming out.

          I definitely do believe that a lot of this is stemming from Danny trying to put as many walls in front of his attraction for Ethan as possible, though.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      September 16, 2015 at 9:59 am | #

      How did you even come to that conclusion?

  32. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    September 16, 2015 at 2:08 am | #

    And yesterday Danny had a scary face. And today he has a mad face.

    Wonder if all this emotion is going to unDanny him.

    Ethan can’t possibly be missing these ‘hints’ – they’re about as subtle as bricks.

    • fizzywafflezsuperstore
      fizzywafflezsuperstore
      September 16, 2015 at 7:32 am | #

      Bricks can be subtle…

      • GMB13carat
        GMB13carat
        September 16, 2015 at 8:05 am | #

        Anything can be brick subtle.

      • GMB13carat
        GMB13carat
        September 16, 2015 at 8:05 am | #

        dang it italics

        BRICK

  33. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    September 16, 2015 at 3:51 am | #

    Now then, Danny, remember that you’re dating Amazi-Girl, not Amber. What you do when Amber is just some girl in your computer science class and Amazi-Girl doesn’t exist is entirely up to you.

    Or, at least, suggesting that might make Amber realise how much she’s messing things up.

    Of course, this is far too much rationalisation for Danny to consider.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      September 16, 2015 at 8:18 am | #

      I don’t know, that doesn’t seem to be a path of thought process that’s very Danny. To Danny, Amazi-Girl always exists somewhere (and she does in a way in the back of Amber’s diverging DID brain) and so cheating on her when she’s not “around” in that sense would be the same as cheating on a partner when they are out of town.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 16, 2015 at 2:22 pm | #

        Danny doesn’t see Amber compartmentalizing her identities.

        But I mean, even if Danny was solely convinced he was dating Amazi-Girl and Amber was some girl, he still wouldn’t do anything with anyone else.

  34. Rob
    Rob
    September 16, 2015 at 4:21 am | #

    I VOLUNTEER

  35. J42
    J42
    September 16, 2015 at 5:36 am | #

    Where this is going. I like it.

  36. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    September 16, 2015 at 8:19 am | #

    Ah, matchmaking. That thing that people do to make their friends miserable (under the guise of making them happy, of course) to cover up the fact that they themselves are insecure, miserable, and alone.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      September 16, 2015 at 9:59 am | #

      I learned a different definition of “matchmaking” growing up.

      …It’s even more fucked up.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        September 16, 2015 at 10:41 am | #

        Eh, I dunno. If you accept the premise of arranged marriage (which may be what you think is fucked up), this kind of matchmaker actually makes sense. Western matchmakers are mostly just nosy, gossipy and invasive.

        • Usayasha
          Usayasha
          September 16, 2015 at 5:49 pm | #

          They get some memorable music numbers, though.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      September 16, 2015 at 10:47 am | #

      Sometimes it’s just payback for annoying the wrong people.

  37. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    September 16, 2015 at 8:31 am | #

    Danny really doesn’t know how to handle attraction to multiple people doesn’t he?

    At least this attraction is relatively new, young, and still in the meet-cute flirty stage as Danny seems to be at his most Dannying it up when he really takes a good honest look at how deep his attractions go and lets himself fully acknowledge to himself the full shape of it:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/dynamic/
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/hands-2/

    And his choices under that state in order to live by his own personal code with regards to what he personally deems to be faithfulness are… “not the greatest” to say the least:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/wander-2/
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/didnt/

    Which makes me think that there’s probably some epic level Dannying it up ahead that probably has a greater chance of hurting Ethan than Amber.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      September 16, 2015 at 10:46 am | #

      Nah, Amber was pushing herself onto him, Ethan is not.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      September 16, 2015 at 11:49 am | #

      What timemonkey said.

      Part of it definitely was that Danny was super uncomfortable realizing he had feelings for Amber while still dating someone else (yes, I know), but Amber pushing him kind of made it all bubble to a point where he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

      Ethan, meanwhile, is just passively there. He’s not causing anything like Amber was on the bridge. It’s harder for Danny to push the Abort button when nothing’s actually happening.

  38. Em
    Em
    September 16, 2015 at 11:19 am | #

    Danny Ethan is going to ask why you want him to have a boyfriend. Danny Ethan is going to figure this out pretty quick you’re bad at this.

    Well I mean he might not. But if he’s at all paying attention he will. (I mean come on. If someone came up to me and said ‘Hey btdubs you need to be less available okay? Let’s find you a datemate’ I’d be pretty damn suspicious.

    • Em
      Em
      September 16, 2015 at 11:19 am | #

      ) sorry. Didn’t close that parentheses. That’s gonna bother me.

  39. Spencer
    Spencer
    September 16, 2015 at 11:28 am | #

    Never been in this situation myself, but is what’s going on here something other bi people have gone through around the time they started coming to terms with it?

    I figured by now Danny would have come to terms with his attraction, but I guess there’s a distinction between having an attraction to guys in general, and Ethan specifically.

    • Pat
      Pat
      September 16, 2015 at 3:06 pm | #

      The situation really doesn’t have much to do with him being bi. That’s just a complication.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 16, 2015 at 3:10 pm | #

        I do think that Danny’s attraction to Ethan is more difficult to deal with because of his sexuality. He’s used to being able sort of decide not to be attracted to women if he’s interested in someone else (see his encounter with Billie where he turned her down because he was into Amazi-Girl), but with Ethan he’s insisting on trying to get him a new boyfriend.

        • Em
          Em
          September 17, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

          I think he’s more interested in Ethan than Amber, and THAT is what’s causing the issue.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      September 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm | #

      It wasn’t for me! My problem was that I’m about a 4-5 on the Kinsey Scale and my parents are homophobic. I realized I would much rather have titties in my face than a dick when I was 15. I’m now 35 and have been married 13 years this December, and would still rather have the titties, and my parents are still homophobic, plus my husband’s dad is homophobic. ^^;

      For me, coming to terms with being bi was more about dealing with people being dickbags than about sticking with one partner.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 16, 2015 at 4:04 pm | #

        Ha. It was kind of like that for me too, though I’m not entirely certain on my Kinsey placement. I guess I find it easier to be attracted to women?
        I think that’s mostly because I’ve been used to it all my life, so when it comes to guys I kind of play it by ear.

        Coming to terms with it was like that for me too. Most of my fears were about how people were going to treat me if I told them. It’s for that reason that I’ve still been pretty hush about it IRL.

    • Edupoet81
      Edupoet81
      September 16, 2015 at 5:50 pm | #

      Only about five days have passed in comic time since Danny experienced the first hint he was into dudes.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 16, 2015 at 6:00 pm | #

        Sure, but in the last arc at the Questioning meeting I got the impression that Danny had sort of accepted he was bi and that he was attracted to Ethan, though on reflection “I still like girls, I just think there’s something more” isn’t exactly the same as an outright confirmation.

        I think at this point Danny does understand that he’s not straight, but actually dealing with being attracted to someone other than Amber is difficult for him.

  40. Theluxland
    Theluxland
    September 16, 2015 at 11:56 am | #

    MAKE UP ALREADY!

    • Sunny
      Sunny
      September 16, 2015 at 4:26 pm | #

      You spelt “out” wrong.

      • A5PECT
        A5PECT
        September 16, 2015 at 10:54 pm | #

        Yeah, those two really should out up already.

        • Usayasha
          Usayasha
          September 16, 2015 at 11:54 pm | #

          I can’t wait to see them make up out. Make up outings are simply divine.

  41. psychoshen
    psychoshen
    September 16, 2015 at 7:35 pm | #

    Danny’s best feature is availability, he doesn’t want Ethan horning in on his territory!

  42. Joya
    Joya
    September 16, 2015 at 10:14 pm | #

    That last panel is my life.

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You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
GOTTEM
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reposted by David M Willis!
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geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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