Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Face-to-face

by David M Willis on October 27, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - To Those Who'd Ground Me
└ Tags: amazi-girl, becky, ross

Discussion (575) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    October 27, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    “Huh, Joyce said Becky was taken in this car, but all I see in there is a giant toe with a pornstache”

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Who says all kind of stupid things.

      • Inkblot
        Inkblot
        October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

        Why did you have to be an asshole who checks his mirrors, Ross

        This could have been so much easier

        • Idon'tcarenomore
          Idon'tcarenomore
          October 27, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

          He wasn’t checking the mirrors until Becky got him taking. She was trying to distract him, but looks like it did just the opposite.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            October 27, 2015 at 1:56 am | #

            Road to Amazi-Girl being smashed into the back of a car is paved with good intentions.

            • Clif
              Clif
              October 27, 2015 at 10:59 am | #

              The question you should be asking is what did Amazigirl just remove from her glove pocket.

              • Inkblot
                Inkblot
                October 27, 2015 at 3:08 pm | #

                Amazi-condom?

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  October 27, 2015 at 10:07 pm | #

                  Interesting idea, but I’m not sure how that could help. Take a look at the bottom right view from the mirror? What are those dark things to either side of her shoulders? If we didn’t know better it would make us think that we were seeing the back seat. But that can’t be the case because we can see evidence of reflection where the back window is in front of her face. And so my interpretation is that the dark area is the back of the car and that Amazigirl has used whatever was in the glove to give her a purchase and she’s now on the back trunk. Next comic will.tell.

                • drnuncheon
                  drnuncheon
                  October 27, 2015 at 10:37 pm | #

                  Pretty sure the dark things to either side of her shoulders are her cape, and that’s a shot from the rear-view mirror.

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  October 27, 2015 at 11:07 pm | #

                  You’re right, it probably the cape which is simply not visible in the first panel.

                • Annie
                  Annie
                  October 28, 2015 at 4:11 am | #

                  A very small portion of her cape is visible in the first panel. And a lot of her cape is visible in the 2nd panel.

    • Anderson
      Anderson
      October 27, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

      …Ok..I have to ask…..but has anyone drawn a little toedad face on their big toenail and stuck a little fake moustache on with glue to make the Littlest Cosplay Ever?

      Because ever since people started calling him Toedad I’ve been seeing that every danged panel.

      Also, looks like Dina didn’t draw much blood, but got a pretty nice scratch in there.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        October 27, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

        you know, you may just have started That One Trend for halloween now.

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          October 27, 2015 at 3:58 am | #

          ” Trick or treat!”
          ” Oh look at you all, but what are you supposed to be little one?”
          ” I’m a toe!”
          “….Kids these days.”

        • Gamaran Sepudomyn
          Gamaran Sepudomyn
          October 27, 2015 at 5:34 am | #

          Scariest costume since Donald Trump.

        • Anderson
          Anderson
          October 27, 2015 at 6:17 am | #

          Oh I do hope so.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        October 27, 2015 at 4:46 am | #

        If I did it would take me less than a minute before I jammed it in a door out of spite, so I think I’ll pass.

    • Ilerien
      Ilerien
      October 28, 2015 at 10:29 am | #

      Car crash toe goes to hospital… No safety belt , weird that it appeared only in panel4 surprise or not

  2. liahansen
    liahansen
    October 27, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    oshit

    • Jestam
      Jestam
      October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Um, yeah, I think that covers it.

    • onetwoduck
      onetwoduck
      October 27, 2015 at 3:28 am | #

      My thoughts exactly.

    • ozzi
      ozzi
      October 27, 2015 at 10:36 am | #

      and break……..

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        October 27, 2015 at 4:39 pm | #

        or brake.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      October 27, 2015 at 6:36 pm | #

      Also: pshit, qshit, rshit and sshit.

  3. Airyu
    Airyu
    October 27, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    I always thought the ‘Christian thing to do’ was “love the sinner, hate the sin.” Isn’t Ross just hating the ‘sinner’ right now?
    Also, maybe Amber really is the one that ends up in the hospital jeez please don’t suddenly break the car, FoeDad.

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      that’s when Amazi-Girl’s like http://imgur.com/gallery/i2Z85jB

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        I love that gif! I hope that’s the case. Maybe Sal and Joyce’ll be the other Russian Special Forces members, ahaha.

    • liahansen
      liahansen
      October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      well, in his mind he “loves” the sinner, and wants to save her from her “sin”

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        October 27, 2015 at 2:10 am | #

        This. There’s a huge culture of casting deep shame on and shunning of the “sinners” you are supposed to “love”, because by doing so, you aren’t hating on them. You’re just hating on their sin and disappointed by their weakness in giving in to temptations (smug smug we’re so better) and proving your love by “graciously” letting them back in the fold so long as they are penitent and accept that their wisdom about their life isn’t worth shit as demonstrated by their sinful choices.

        It’s rampant in suburban middle class PMD Rapturist culture and becomes sort of a one-upmanship, where you all talk a game about everyone being sinful and needing the salvation of Christ, but behind closed doors or even whispered in the pews, it’s all about who isn’t praying “enough” or whose kid was seen being all “sinful” with the neighbor’s kid.

        Honestly, it’s really all about raising oneself up by reveling in the wickedness of others at the end of the day.

        And that’s why Toedad is so committed to retrieving and “correcting” his misbehaving property. Because if he doesn’t, then he’s reduced in the smugness games and just becomes the rumor mill target about the man whose daughter went to college and became one of those… you knows. And that casts disparagements on his own holiness.

        • SDGlyph
          SDGlyph
          October 27, 2015 at 4:09 am | #

          “People would rather imagine that they’re a beleaguered hero than that they’re creating imaginary enemies because they’re bored.” – Alex Hirsch, twitter, today
          (in a conversation about fanart, but surprisingly relevant to suburban middle class PMD Rapturists)

        • Strangeshapes
          Strangeshapes
          October 27, 2015 at 1:02 pm | #

          I find it particularly disturbing that he is talking about “his daughter” as though she is a different person from the one he’s talking to. He really seems to be mentally preparing himself to kill her.

    • otusasio451
      otusasio451
      October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      You know, I was gonna comment on that, too. I’m guessing that Ross is the “love the sinner BENEATH the sin” kinda guy. Meaning that he loves previous sinless Becky, rather than the current sinner Becky is.

      You know, ’cause he’s an asshole.

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        Huh. Yeah I can see that; it does seem like he is disassociating current Becky from the Becky he thought she was “supposed” to be.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Toedad loves his daughter. That’s why he needs to pray away her sins at riflepoint.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        October 27, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

        “Spare the .223 and spoil the child.”

      • Mateo Frito
        Mateo Frito
        October 27, 2015 at 9:30 am | #

        Reminds me of this gem of a song…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHUFiG1YBwc

    • Yew
      Yew
      October 27, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

      Having seen this logic first hand, Ross thinks that Becky’s “choices” (in his mind) are leading her to a path of eternal torture. The only loving thing to do in his mind is to take any and every step necessary to prevent that. So to him, he is absolutely loving her by trying to “save her from herself.” It is a twisted idea of love.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        October 27, 2015 at 2:14 am | #

        Given she was raised “right”, her current “lifestyle choices” are only because of her recruitment at the hands of gay demons feeding on her weakness in order to rob her of her womanhood and confuse her about her “natural role” as wife and mother.

        They are no more worthy of consideration as being a part of her than a malignant tumor and once he has cut that corruption from her with his faith, then she will return to her purity and find joy in her “natural place” and thank him for saving her from the fires of Hell.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          October 27, 2015 at 8:46 am | #

          I’ve always found the insane beliefs religious people hold top explain away how people can actually be gay to be hilarious. Like if we had demons or could infect other people there’d be any of them left. We’d zombie plague the fuck out of you so we could finally just be normal and left in peace.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      There’s lots of different subsections of Christianity that focus on a lot of different ideas of varying intensity.

    • leadsynth
      leadsynth
      October 27, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

      Now he’s wavin’ ’round his Bible, sayin’ “Love the sinner, hate the sin”
      But he’d do well to drop the Hell and let some Heavenly mercy in

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        October 27, 2015 at 1:23 am | #

        Is this a song? This should be a song.

        • Shiro
          Shiro
          October 27, 2015 at 3:30 am | #

          Google gives me this: https://daynaclay.bandcamp.com/track/little-church-live-2006

          Not my usual genre, but still pretty good.

          • leadsynth
            leadsynth
            October 31, 2015 at 4:47 pm | #

            Yeah, my bandmate wrote it! We’ve got a better version in the works.

    • Ranthog
      Ranthog
      October 27, 2015 at 4:03 am | #

      Loving the sinner and hating the sin is equivalent to hating the person it is applied to. It is a weaselly way of getting around the fact that Jesus says to love they neighbor as yourself without condition. It is both a very radical commandment and a very difficult one.

      Unfortunately it means the love part gets drowned out.

      While this thought comes up among christian sects, it really isn’t something that is supported by scripture. Its more of something that people say to make themselves feel better.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        October 27, 2015 at 1:06 pm | #

        I’ve heard ‘love the sinner, hate the sin” used with wide-eyed sincerity. (I explained that, unfortunately, it’s impossible for the recipient or anyone else to tell the difference! In the ensuing conversation, I found that some kindhearted Christians are actually quite reasonable when gently challenged from a place that strongly accepts and reinforces love as their central tenet.)

        Unfortunately, Ross is NOT one of those kindhearted Christians. He is deeply devoted, in his way, to the daughter he thinks he has, or to the daughter he thinks she ought to be. But he’s not about love, he’s about righteousness and matyrdom and avoiding Hell. I don’t know how on heaven or earth he’ll come around to love his daughter who is actually sitting right there.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          October 27, 2015 at 5:57 pm | #

          “love the sinner, hate the sin” is a perfectly good approach when it applies to something we all agree is a problem – someone who’s alcoholic or otherwise addicted, someone who’s stolen or committed whatever other sins we all agree are bad. Or even just in the “We’re all sinners” kind of sense.

          It’s when it’s used for things like homosexuality where we’re coming to see that it really isn’t bad, then the “hate the sin” part, no matter how sincere and loving it may be, is still pushing the “This is bad, you have to stop, you have to change” line. Especially when it’s pushed on kids growing up in those environments. It’s damaging. I’m sure it’s a contributor to the high rate of LGBTQ suicide. “I love you, but I hate your sexuality and you’re damned if don’t live in denial your whole life.”

          • Ranthog
            Ranthog
            October 27, 2015 at 11:13 pm | #

            Except that even with with things like addiction or theft it is still absolutely corrosive, whether or not it is meant with malice or the best of intentions.

            While there are several other lesser problems with the concept, the main problem is that hating the sin requires that one love the sinner less. With this dogma it would be impossible to love someone unconditionally for who they are because it makes the love conditional by its nature. Hence one cannot love someone fully while hating their sin.

            On top of that, it is generally not applied to everyone, since everyone is a sinner. Instead it is generally applied to select groups that don’t fit in in some way. Also, while being LGBT is part of who you are (and I do agree that makes it significantly more corrosive when applied to sexual identity), so is to a lesser extent what you’ve done in the past or what medical illnesses you have (in the case of addiction).

            What you have done will at some level always be part of who you are as a person. Its why the phrasing is that we are forgiven our sins. It doesn’t change the fact one has sinned in the past, but the forgiveness is what is important.

    • Joker Two
      Joker Two
      October 27, 2015 at 8:22 am | #

      Yep, Christians sure loved all those heathens they forcibly converted, crusaded against, burnt at the stake, enslaved, oppressed, etc. over the last millennia and a half.

      You might say they loved them to *death*…

    • Riku
      Riku
      October 27, 2015 at 11:42 pm | #

      As I recall it was Gandhi who said that. I don’t think that’s actually specifically preached in the bible

  4. TheBloodsuckerProxy
    TheBloodsuckerProxy
    October 27, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Man, fuck this guy.

    • Just Here
      Just Here
      October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      What you said. This guy’s all about ‘his daughter.’ Bah, being a father’s about more than that.

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      2/10, would not fuck.

      • Wublub
        Wublub
        October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        He may be 2/10 in appearance, but when you factor in his personality he becomes a glorious -999/10.

        • Chris Phoenix
          Chris Phoenix
          October 27, 2015 at 2:00 am | #

          No, no, no… so close… he’s actually a glorious -666/10.

          • Lamia
            Lamia
            October 27, 2015 at 10:38 am | #

            A valiant joke, but I think we’re fishing for -∞/10.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        One point for having a pulse, one point for caring in his own twisted, petty way about his daughter?

        • Weyland
          Weyland
          October 27, 2015 at 5:47 pm | #

          Having a pulse is not necessarily better than not in his case.

      • Strangeshapes
        Strangeshapes
        October 27, 2015 at 1:06 pm | #

        *no one* could fap to Toedad. He is the exception that proves Rule 34.

    • Wublub
      Wublub
      October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Um, no thank you.

    • NinjaNick
      NinjaNick
      October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        Good call, a 4 to 5 foot pole can be swung much harder.

        • NinjaNick
          NinjaNick
          October 27, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

          I’d rather knock his teeth out with a baseball bat. And swing his head like a pinata.

          • Lamia
            Lamia
            October 27, 2015 at 10:39 am | #

            This is quite a comment coming from a Dina gravatar.

      • Dellaran
        Dellaran
        October 27, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

        I would, but only if it’s got a big blade on the end.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          October 27, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

          Pikes are hard to handle, and really only effective in massed formations. I’ll take a shorter polearm anyday.
          Well, not a guan dao, those things are monstrously heavy, but a bardiche or voulge would probably do. Something light like a naginata would be optimal though.

          • Idon'tcarenomore
            Idon'tcarenomore
            October 27, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

            Give me a good Bow.

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            October 27, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

            I have a sickle. Is that good enough?

            • inqntrol
              inqntrol
              October 27, 2015 at 4:01 am | #

              Put on a black robe with hoodie and pay him a visit. It will be perfect.

              • inqntrol
                inqntrol
                October 27, 2015 at 4:03 am | #

                For some reason i read that as scythe..Ok plan B: Tacos to you have a hammer as well?

              • Gamaran Sepudomyn
                Gamaran Sepudomyn
                October 27, 2015 at 6:51 am | #

                Why go for the Death look? Why not life? Most of life is bacteria, and apparently most animals are parasites. So Life would be a quivering mass of slime interspersed with fungal tentacles, plant roots and botflies. Seems more intimidating than a skeleton, no?

                • inqntrol
                  inqntrol
                  October 27, 2015 at 7:53 am | #

                  When you put it that way, then yes, it does.

                • LeslieBean4Shizzle
                  LeslieBean4Shizzle
                  October 27, 2015 at 3:27 pm | #

                  Hence Shub-Niggurath.

                  Or the Summer Court.

          • Lamia
            Lamia
            October 27, 2015 at 10:41 am | #

            I dunno, a good spear or a dane axe can be pretty good in a one on one fight so long as you have the skill to keep your opponent out of arm’s reach. Like, take a spear to a sword fight, make sure the sword can barely reach down your spear haft and you’re in the money. I’ve been on both sides; holding someone back with the head of my dane, and once clinging to the end of someone’s spear when all I had was a dagger, to piss them off.

      • Safgaftsa
        Safgaftsa
        October 27, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

        Raptors do prefer grappling.

        • Gamaran Sepudomyn
          Gamaran Sepudomyn
          October 27, 2015 at 6:52 am | #

          Any raptor that doesn’t want to get crushed by its prey will just slit its throat rather than expend energy grappling.

        • Mollyscribbles
          Mollyscribbles
          October 27, 2015 at 8:56 am | #

          oh man now I’m imagining this as only a distraction with Amazi-Girl as part of a raptor pack. Toedad is so focused on taking out the one ‘enemy’ of his daughter he doesn’t notice Dina approaching from the side. Again. His peripheral vision kinda sucks.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      October 27, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Not even for money.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

      Well someone had to. I’m assuming a woman who looked like a finger.

      • Idon'tcarenomore
        Idon'tcarenomore
        October 27, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        Rofl.
        +1

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        October 27, 2015 at 8:46 am | #

        Mustn’t go there…

        Mustn’t go there…

        I BET HE GIVES GREAT TOEJOBS

        I went there. 🙁

        • LuckyStar7
          LuckyStar7
          October 27, 2015 at 3:48 pm | #

          Best comment? Best comment.

  5. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    October 27, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Yeah, we’re all sinners. Some more than others.

    TALKING ABOUT YOU, ROSS! You pay attention to me! STOP LOOKING OUT THAT WINDOW!

    • DaveM
      DaveM
      October 27, 2015 at 3:41 am | #

      Of all the times for the bad guy to succeed on a spot check..
      Amazigirl should have put more points into sneak, that’s all I can say.

      • Lamia
        Lamia
        October 27, 2015 at 10:42 am | #

        I don’t think Stealth is a trained skill for Amazigirl, nor do I expect she’d put any ranks into it anyway. But her Willpower check must be hella high by now.

      • Dr. T
        Dr. T
        October 27, 2015 at 6:12 pm | #

        Looking at the backgrounds, he managed to get all the way out of town (likely onto old Highway 37) without checking his mirrors. He must never check them.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 27, 2015 at 8:48 am | #

      Really, though, is it EVER a good time to distract someone who’s driving a car? Especially when you’re in it? And you’re intentionally trying to distract him from looking in his mirrors? So, he doesn’t know what’s going on around the car? Isn’t that just BEGGING for an accident?

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        October 27, 2015 at 3:28 pm | #

        Considering that she buckled her belt before doing so, I think that was kind of the point.

  6. Speedball
    Speedball
    October 27, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    This guy gets scarier with every word he says.

    • gkheyf
      gkheyf
      October 27, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      his super power is to say the most messed up crap and believe that it sounds not horrifying

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

        Joyce has lost her niche!

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          October 27, 2015 at 2:19 am | #

          That’s the thing. Joyce has the same exact culture as Toedad. All the horrible things that have slipped through her mouth because she didn’t realize how awful they were is what Toedad fervently believes and supports.

          The key difference is that Joyce listens to her conscience and does not view the feelings and lives of others as being inferior to what she was told about the world and seeks to change when her words or actions do harm. Whereas Toedad is inflexible and believes that the fault when his conscience and moral teachings disagree lies with his conscience. And instead of having enough empathy to care about others, he views everyone else mostly as props in the eternal show of “I, Ross MacIntyre, am a godly man and I am strong”.

          • Willoughby Chase
            Willoughby Chase
            October 27, 2015 at 4:45 am | #

            Joyce is a lot younger, and is going through a lot of new experiences (it’s what University should be for, rather than a job factory) so she’s open to change.

            If Joyce had stayed at home, she might well have ended up like Toedad.

            • Bagge
              Bagge
              October 27, 2015 at 5:08 am | #

              I think she has noted that herself, and that the horror is not lost on her.

              But frankly I doubt that Joyce would be anything like Toedad. She would not even be as bad as her own parents. But she would not be as good as the Joyce we see now.

              Another comparison is Mary who shares Joyce’s background AND experiences (I mean, she rooms with Roz), but who still nurtures her homophobia and bigotry. It remains to be seen what hard choices she will make when it comes down to it.

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                October 27, 2015 at 8:12 am | #

                Roz may not be the ideal person to change someone’s world view. Someone that obnoxious about it is more likely to ram one further into one’s current beliefs than inspire the realization that perhaps other views are legitimate.

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  October 27, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

                  Agreed. Roz is a bludgeon, who could be great at energizing the base who already basically agrees with her. But she’s absolutely terrible at communicating with people who disagree with her, and that’s where Roz needs folks like Joyce to become that understanding bridge to the fundies back home.

                  Unlike Roz, Joyce can validate the good and kind aspects of their shared worldview, which can then be a springboard towards more kindness. (That’s what she was hoping to do with quoting the Bible at Toe-Dad, but she underestimated how dug in and unreasonable he is.) Roz would just yell at Mary in righteous indignation, which has no chance of success.

            • Annalabagaba
              Annalabagaba
              October 27, 2015 at 7:06 pm | #

              But even Joyce’s parents aren’t that bad either. They listen to Joyce, even if they ‘know’ what’s right. It’s shows the inate personality, religious or not. It’s good to contrast that to toedad who didn’t even give Becky the benefit of the doubt.

              • Reaver
                Reaver
                October 27, 2015 at 8:42 pm | #

                Yeah, yeah they are, they “Prayed” that their daughter would grow to understand that she is WRONG and that God’s wisdom will open her poor short sighted gaze to the turth!

                They’re terrible people.

                • Annalabagaba
                  Annalabagaba
                  October 28, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

                  But they still let Joyce be Joyce. No it’s not their first choice and ya they coulda handled it better but they still let Joyce stay at the school.

      • David
        David
        October 27, 2015 at 12:12 pm | #

        Uh, horrifying is ok as long as it’s the work and will of the Lord. If you need to exterminate the evil with fire and brimstone, do you want to be the one denying the heroes their pitchforks?

        • gkheyf
          gkheyf
          October 27, 2015 at 1:03 pm | #

          that all hinges on whether you believe in an objective ‘good’ and whether you’re confident that a specific horrifying thing is definitely serving that good. i think that most people allow for a degree of doubt, so we as a society steer toward finding a more neutral behavior acceptable. maybe you’re a hero, maybe you’re a villain, but pitchfork use is limited, so use it under heavy discretion

          • gkheyf
            gkheyf
            October 27, 2015 at 1:13 pm | #

            less effective, less extreme

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

      “You know Becky, when you think about it, was Hitler really that bad?”
      “FOR FUCK’S SAKE DAD.”

  7. liahansen
    liahansen
    October 27, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    anybody know what amazi-girl has in those wrist thingies?

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      All You Need Is Glove

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

        Power Glove?

        • lejwocky
          lejwocky
          October 27, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

          Blah blah blah, kill, blah blah blah.

          • Rheinman137
            Rheinman137
            October 27, 2015 at 10:17 am | #

            Awesome gravatar.

            Hello Man. Would you like to hear a joke?

          • LuckyStar7
            LuckyStar7
            October 27, 2015 at 3:50 pm | #

            talky talky stabby stabby

      • Lamia
        Lamia
        October 27, 2015 at 10:43 am | #

        Glove is all you need.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Weighted training clothing?

    • Toad
      Toad
      October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      I was trying to figure that out too. I can’t tell what’s happening with her in panel 2 either–is she still trying to get something out, or is she actually using whatever’s in there?

    • John
      John
      October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Her DS. She’s gonna play some Mario Kart with her nose to relieve the everyday tedium of skateboarding grappled to a car driven by a crazed gunman who’s kidnapped his daughter in the name of Jesus.

      • gkheyf
        gkheyf
        October 27, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        she just failed the x-treme level test for attention span

    • NinjaNick
      NinjaNick
      October 27, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Suction cups?

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      October 27, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      her Kerry Ellis playlist

      (it’s “Defying Gravity” on loop)

    • Jestam
      Jestam
      October 27, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Not a clue. Only Willis knows.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

        Who knows what utility lurks in the glove-pouches of Amazi-girl?
        The Willis knows.

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          October 27, 2015 at 8:20 am | #

          Best reference.

        • Rheinman137
          Rheinman137
          October 27, 2015 at 10:18 am | #

          +1 internets for you

    • Dana
      Dana
      October 27, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

      Amazi-girl is prepared for anything.

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        October 27, 2015 at 1:28 am | #

        Here, have an internet.

        • Thorn
          Thorn
          October 27, 2015 at 4:51 am | #

          That’s not the internet.

          This is: http://cdn.instructables.com/FR5/5S2J/G4PBP7TA/FR55S2JG4PBP7TA.MEDIUM.jpg

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

      Those shoot web, right?

    • Azarafel
      Azarafel
      October 27, 2015 at 12:52 am | #

      It looks like she is holding a cellphone in the next panel so maybe something phonelike?

      • liahansen
        liahansen
        October 27, 2015 at 3:04 am | #

        that would be a pretty sensible thing to pull out, but i feel like that would be more accessible in normal pockets, and Amazi-girl’s nothing if not practical.

        well… like, sometimes

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        October 27, 2015 at 11:42 am | #

        I think you may be onto something. She seems to carry her phone in a compartment when she’s in costume.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/cheese/

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 27, 2015 at 8:21 am | #

      Cell phone? “Hi, 911? Yeah, you know the shooting at IU? Okay, you know how the cops sailed right past the costumed vigilante on a skateboard hanging off the back of a fleeing car with a grappling hook? Yeah, well, hi; I’m the costumed vigilante and I’m following the fleeing SHOOTER on a skateboard, hanging onto a grappling hook. We’re headed north; still on the campus. Brown car, damaged rear bumper. You think you could get them to turn around and back me up? You know, since having a costumed vigilante hanging off a car leaving the scene of the shooting wasn’t of interest the first time they went by.”

      Pretty sure the cops were just all like, “Kids these days! Sheesh! Get out of the way; we’ll deal with you and your crazy get-up car-surfing and being a public menace another time; we’ve got important things to do here! Now shoo!”

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 27, 2015 at 6:00 pm | #

        Given that the “important thing” was “Shots fired near the fountain”, they’re pretty much right.
        Admittedly it turns out they were wrong, but that doesn’t mean they had their priorities wrong – they just lacked information.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      October 27, 2015 at 9:54 am | #

      We already know she packs some Amazi-Condoms and… well, No Glove, No Love.

    • David
      David
      October 27, 2015 at 12:17 pm | #

      Falsies. Becky reclaims her womanhood, and everyone eats pizza at Galasso’s.

  8. Cody
    Cody
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I hope you’re happy, right now!

  9. Nono
    Nono
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    And that, kids, is how Ross fell in love at first sight.

    • gc
      gc
      October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      ^ Beautiful!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

      No one can resist Amazi-Girl. And if they can she’d have to use her secret weapon. The Amazi-rack.

      • Rheinman137
        Rheinman137
        October 27, 2015 at 10:21 am | #

        Yes, I’m pretty much powerless against it.

        Especially if pressed firmly against it. 😉

    • J-Debs
      J-Debs
      October 27, 2015 at 12:54 am | #

      The next page he’s all big eyed and glittery

      • Shade
        Shade
        October 27, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

        I think the internet needs this image.

        • podian
          podian
          October 27, 2015 at 2:08 am | #

          Your avatar is fitting.

    • liahansen
      liahansen
      October 27, 2015 at 3:05 am | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im8uIoq1fjs

      this is a disgusting thing you made me think

  10. Cephalo the Pod
    Cephalo the Pod
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Well, Sal’s not the one going to the hospital. She’s perfectly fine in the preview panels.

    (For the record, I’m of the firm belief that the Hospital preview is just one big massive red herring).

  11. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Amazi-girl just saw ToeDad for the first time and is repulsed at the sight.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

      HOLY FUCK, HOW IS HE ALIVE? HE LOOKS LIKE A MUTANT.

  12. Triniking1234
    Triniking1234
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    So firing off a rifle on a school campus doesn’t make you a sinner?

    Hail Jesus!

    • Haven
      Haven
      October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      The right to bear arms is the second commandment.

      • gkheyf
        gkheyf
        October 27, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        as jesus foretold

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 2:21 am | #

      Nonsense. He braved the truly godless lands of a secular university, retrieved his property, wrongfully stolen by “deviants and perverts”, and showed such manly strength even demons relented.

      In his mind, he’s a Bob-damned hero.

    • David
      David
      October 27, 2015 at 12:22 pm | #

      Are you serious? He did not even hit anybody. I mean, even stoning a girl to death who was raped within the city walls (and consequently has to be assumed not to have raised as much racket as could be expected of her) is perfectly within the duties of a man of faith, for you must purge the evil from within your midst.

  13. Mada
    Mada
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I am muchly intrigued at that first panel and eager to know what Amber’s got in that glovepouch.

    Also fuck toedad.

  14. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    October 27, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    *plays Pete Townsend’s “Face The Face” on the car stereo*

    • lejwocky
      lejwocky
      October 27, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      I was quite sad when I got the name of this song wrong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DVUwWZfzMw

    • Willinwoods
      Willinwoods
      October 27, 2015 at 8:41 am | #

      [Covered/reinterpreted as “Tow the Toe”]

  15. jayax
    jayax
    October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Eyes on the road Ross, don’t mind the woman behind the mirror.

  16. gkheyf
    gkheyf
    October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    it figures that only when he’s supposed to be having a serious parental discussion does he pay attention to his mirrors. but hair? seriously? is the whole plumbing thing a bit too heavy for him to tackle so he sticks to the length of the curtains?

    • Nono
      Nono
      October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Notice how he isn’t denying any of Becky’s accusations. His defenses are crumbling in the face of reason but he’s too stubborn to ever admit he’s wrong, so he’ll find new topics and double down on old ones.

      • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        October 27, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

        This all being about Becky’s ‘sodomite sins’ is likely the other half, along with the outward claims of religious convictions, of his Freudian excuse for his actions (i.e this isn’t about Becky or Jesus, this is about HIM.) We have little background as to what kind of life Gunpoint Rossie led up until now…I’m still curious how he and Becky’s mother even met, for starters.

        • MindLink
          MindLink
          October 27, 2015 at 7:12 am | #

          “I’m still curious how he and Becky’s mother even met, for starters.”

          By gunpoint ?
          Wouldn’t it ironic though, if Ross and BeckMom actually had a “shotgun-wedding”, maybe even with the same gun he brought with him ? (He got to keep the gun afterwards as a wedding present)

        • Lamia
          Lamia
          October 27, 2015 at 10:45 am | #

          If I’m honest, I’m starting to worry about how she died…

        • David
          David
          October 27, 2015 at 12:28 pm | #

          Uh, Becky is Sapphic, not sodomite. The problem in Sodom was that the citizens wanted to fuck an angel visiting Lot in the behind and were unwilling to take Lot’s offer of screwing his daughters instead. I mean, they were obvious duds and finally got their father drunk in order to get any action, but that’s a different story. Not all that much better than Sodom, actually.

          • LeslieBean4Shizzle
            LeslieBean4Shizzle
            October 27, 2015 at 4:02 pm | #

            To your first point, many religious groups consider lesbian sex to also be sodomy. Or, as one person put it, literally anything other than unprotected vaginal intercourse is called “sodomy.”
            It didn’t make any sense to me either, but there you go.
            To your second… yeah, I don’t think I’ll be touching that one.

            • David
              David
              October 29, 2015 at 4:54 am | #

              The Bible actually does not even care. If we focus on the Old Testament which is pretty much the part concerned with sodomy, there is a ban for men lying with men (as if they were a woman), and there is a ban for women screwing with cattle. It evades me right now whether men were allowed to screw cattle, but at any rate, women with women is never a topic.

              I mean, if you look at the size of the harem King Solomon entertained, you could not really expect all of those women to wait for their turn without occasionaly refresh courses not involving men (since that would muddy up the property and/or blood relations).

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Saint Paul.

      • Lapin
        Lapin
        October 27, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        aka Saint Salty.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

        Care to elaborate for us ignorant heathens?

        • gkheyf
          gkheyf
          October 27, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

          seconded. desperately leafing through corinthians in an effort to learn the word of jebus. cliffsnotes, plz? what’s up with saint paul?

          • Lapin
            Lapin
            October 27, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

            St. Paul is basically the “stop having fun” guy, and the original born-again. He was once Saul, persecuted Jews, saw a vision of Jesus, went blind, (or something, can’t quite remember), and then when he encountered Jesus, Jesus “washed the scales from his eyes”, and Saul became Paul and a devout follower. After Jesus died, Paul was just…Paul was just a bitter weird fuck. I used to refer to him as St. Stop-Having-Fun, now I call him St. Salty. Basically, Paul hated happiness.

            • Disloyal Subject
              Disloyal Subject
              October 27, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

              Ugh, one of those types.
              Did he dictate that women had to wear their hair long or something?

              • Agemegos
                Agemegos
                October 27, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

                Yes. 1 Corinthians 11:15.

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                October 27, 2015 at 9:14 am | #

                From what I’ve heard he just hated women generally and anything to do with them and would happily have not had to deal with them at all, but FINE, ugh, if you HAVE to be there, then you can’t cut your hair short and get mistaken for a guy. And you have to hide it, so you don’t look like a guy. Also shut the hell up and, like, stick to cooking meals and shit. Also no one is allowed to have sex with you because it’s just fucking icky. –What, we’re beginning to die of old age and not getting enough new Christians in? Ugh, FINE, you can have sex, I guess. But ONLY to make babies and you’re not allowed to enjoy it. UGH. Girls are gross.

                –Yeah, there’s a contingent that thinks he was gay and it’s not hard to see why.

                • SDGlyph
                  SDGlyph
                  October 27, 2015 at 9:47 am | #

                  That’s… really not how I understand Paul, or how he’s generally seen. It mostly comes from a few key clobber verses being quoted out of context with the aim of controlling women’s lives today.

                  OTOH, I was only thinking today how he could possibly have been ace in a culture that basically had no concept of orientation or a/sexuality.

                • Random832
                  Random832
                  October 27, 2015 at 10:57 am | #

                  Another reason, of course, is that anti-gay christians (of which Paul is the prototypical example) think it’s so easy for a “normal” person to be “tempted” into having gay sex, that “everyone” has these urges and it’s hard to suppress them.

                • saki
                  saki
                  October 27, 2015 at 5:17 pm | #

                  Kinda sounds like that guy from biblicalgenderroles.com

                • saki
                  saki
                  October 27, 2015 at 5:24 pm | #

                  Wait no, got some things mixed up, I was thinking of another site but forgot its name. (The aforementioned guy is actually a billion times worse than the impression I get from Paul off Kryss Labryn’s comment.)

                • Kryss LaBryn
                  Kryss LaBryn
                  October 27, 2015 at 9:59 pm | #

                  Pretty sure that it’s not actually that easy to be tempted into feeling attraction for a gender you aren’t actually on some level interested in. But I suppose that if you do have any non-cis-gendered tendencies, even if only slightly, then yeah, under the correct conditions it might twig loudly enough to catch your conscious attention.

                  Doesn’t mean that the tendency wasn’t an innate part of you before you saw that, though. And of course then you have people saying things like, “Well, of course everyone goes through a phase like that in college, put you put it behind you and move on with your life and grow up.” Like What’s’isputz, the author who did the book about the kid who thought the space battles he was playing was all just a game, but it ended up not… they made a movie and a lot of people boycotted it because of his incredibly intolerant views and regular columns, I forget his name but I’m sure you all know who I mean. “Ender’s Game”. Yeah. What’sisface who wrote “Ender’s Game,” who it ended up was such a douche. Pretty sure no one who ever said “Well, sure, we all go through that gay phase, but, you know, you grow up and start acting like an adult here…” was actually completely straight to begin with, because, yeah, no, despite what Billie said, while you might sort of wonder about it some time, if you’re actually completely straight I’m pretty sure the instinctive gut reaction is going to be, “Yeah, nope.”

            • Tacos
              Tacos
              October 27, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

              Is he the guy who came up with the stupid rule about how wearing clothes of different materials is a sin?

              • tim gueguen
                tim gueguen
                October 27, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

                Nah, that was an Old Testament thing. Christians supposedly have a new covenant and don’t have to obey that stuff. They just have to obey the supposed antigay stuff for some reason.

                • Steampunkette
                  Steampunkette
                  October 27, 2015 at 1:45 am | #

                  Because Bad Translation.

                  In Romans, one of the Disciples is writing letters explaining the word of God to people and the letters were collected, ordered, and added to the Bible as a corollary to the Gospels.

                  Unfortunately when translating between various languagea pederasty, which means an older man taking on a young boy as an apprentice who he also bangs like a screen door, was mistranslated to general homosexuality.

                  So because male Pedophiles in Rome had their way, adult women in love are sinners in the new Testament.

                  On second thought I may be thinking Galatians. I don’t have a Bible on hand to check.

                • Steampunkette
                  Steampunkette
                  October 27, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

                  Romans, Corinthians, and Timothy.

              • Lamia
                Lamia
                October 27, 2015 at 10:48 am | #

                Fun fact: that rule sort of makes sense with the time, though it’s hilariously misunderstood. I mean, look at it in a modern view-point. These days, we can afford – and have the technology – to do several loads of washing in one day; that way we can separate our lights, our darks, and in some cases different materials. Wool, for example, will shrink unless it’s on the right setting (and even then washing it is a dumb idea). I was once told that this rule in Leviticus was basically “dude, only wear one material at a time, so that when you wash it, you don’t fudge it up”.

                ….there’s still a lot of rubbish rules in Leviticus, but it’s interesting to work out where some of them came from.

                • SDGlyph
                  SDGlyph
                  October 27, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

                  I thought it was that mixed-fabric clothing (that’s a mixed weave of wool and linen, not woollen garments and linen garments) was a particular identifier for another tribal group, whom the Israelites were forbidden from mixing with – I forget which one. So it would be a cultural identity thing.

                  On a quick google, though, I don’t see this coming up. The top-listed commentaries seem to relate it more to other prohibitions against mixing of different types of thing (seed, animals etc) – so again, related to maintaining Israel’s cultural purity, though more obliquely. There’s also something about the high priest being the only one allowed to wear it, as his ephod is specifically stated to be mixed-weave, but I’unno.

            • Hi There
              Hi There
              October 27, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

              My Gran had some things she always said about the Bible: she liked the book of Ecclesiastes, Paul just didn’t understand how the real world worked, and you’re better off just leaving Revelations alone.

              I think Paul was rather detached from real life and didn’t really understand human nature.

              • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                October 27, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

                He also was more than a bit vain about his commitment as a Disciple.

              • Argon
                Argon
                October 27, 2015 at 2:13 am | #

                I was taught that Paul was expecting the Second Coming to happen within his lifetime (or shortly thereafter), so a lot of his teachings are made with a “Do this for the time being” sort of subtext that his audience might’ve gotten but readers today really don’t.

                My sticking point was why the letters of Paul were canonical teachings of the church instead of just a “This is how the early church did things” history lesson like several books in the OT.

                • Hi There
                  Hi There
                  October 27, 2015 at 9:22 am | #

                  Argon, that is a very good point about Paul expecting the Second Coming in his life time. I had forgotten about that. Definitely helps to have some context.

              • DaveM
                DaveM
                October 27, 2015 at 3:48 am | #

                If you’re reading the KJV, then revelations has some wonderful and evocative language that’s well worth a read. Though the narrarative basically boils down to “wooh, I think I’ve eaten one too many of those mushrooms. Gonna be trippin’ hard for a while.”

                • MindLink
                  MindLink
                  October 27, 2015 at 7:19 am | #

                  Part psychedelic trip, part sci-fi. Really! The city of New Jerusalem is described very much like a huge space station descending on Earth in a cloud of thunder and smoke, it’s hallways lit by strange lights that needs no oil.

            • Jenny Islander
              Jenny Islander
              October 27, 2015 at 1:44 am | #

              There’s an argument that at least two of the so-called Pauline epistles are not by Paul at all, and the main support is that in the others he’s all “hey say hi to these awesome female apostles and and pillars of the congregation who I will now call out by name” and “hey you know your mom and grandma already taught you all you need to know, but I’d like to elaborate a bit,” but the epistles that are supposedly faked are realllly not about liking women as people, at all.

              The other main argument is that that run-on sentence I wrote up there? That’s the tl;dr version of a Pauline sentence. The so-called faked epistles are much less prolix. IOW, too well written to be by Paul.

              • David M Willis
                David M Willis
                October 27, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

                It’s closer to about half of the books attributed to Paul are not actually by Paul. The Pastorals (Timothy 1/2 and Titus) are definitely not, but there’s good arguments against a few others being authentic.

                • hof1991
                  hof1991
                  October 27, 2015 at 9:36 am | #

                  For a good popular but based on academics book, try . As I try html again, after moving to Drupal at work.

                • hof1991
                  hof1991
                  October 27, 2015 at 9:36 am | #

                  http://www.amazon.com/Forged-Writing-God-Why-Bibles-Authors/dp/0062012622

              • SDGlyph
                SDGlyph
                October 27, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

                Yeah, it all gets a bit messy with the Pauline epistles. As well as the disputed authorship you mention (although 1 Corinthians is generally accepted to be genuine), there are issues like textual interpretation: I’ve repeatedly seen the argument that several of the more regressive ‘rules’ (viz. the bits that fundies like to quote while ignoring all the radical-inclusion, love-is-the-answer stuff) are actually Paul quoting his opponents before knocking down their arguments in the following section – absent punctuation or explicit ‘they say’ markers, how do you tell except by inference? Which I think tracks with how those sections seem to stick out as inconsistent with his other writing.

                Then there are issues of cultural context… such as the suggestion that “a woman’s hair is her glory” could be translated as “a woman’s hair is her testicle“, because the anatomical thinking of the day was that a woman’s hair was essentially a sperm magnet, drawing it in and up and increasing her fertility. (I am NOT making this up.)

                Ironically enough, though, one thing Paul can’t be accused of is conservatism. To steal a quote from Fred Clark via James McGrath, “Quoting Paul to defend exclusion is like quoting Tony Soprano to defend pacifism.”

            • Kamino Neko
              Kamino Neko
              October 27, 2015 at 2:08 am | #

              Saul didn’t become Paul, he’d always used both names in different contexts. The ‘Saul’ context just became less common after his conversion.

              • MindLink
                MindLink
                October 27, 2015 at 7:21 am | #

                So you’d better call Saul Paul after all ?

                • SDGlyph
                  SDGlyph
                  October 27, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

                  … go to your room and think about what you’ve done.

            • SDGlyph
              SDGlyph
              October 27, 2015 at 2:51 am | #

              Eh, you’re a bit off the mark. Paul never met Jesus (in the flesh); persecuted Christians, not Jews (…in the modern meaning, since the early Christians were Jews); and had his road-to-Damascus conversion experience post-crucifixion.

              As to Saint Stop-Having-Fun… that’s a whole other kettle of fish and many, many books have been written on the subject (see also comments above). But he certainly wasn’t bitter about Jesus’ death.

            • Agemegos
              Agemegos
              October 27, 2015 at 3:33 am | #

              Saul didn’t persecute Jews, except inasmuch as Christians were heretical Jews until he took over. He was a Jew with Roman citizenship, and he persecuted the followers of Christ until his episode on the road to Damascus. See Acts 9:1–29.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              October 27, 2015 at 4:46 pm | #

              . . . and hated women, don’t forget that part.

          • Raen
            Raen
            October 27, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

            1 Corinthians 11:14.

          • Agemegos
            Agemegos
            October 27, 2015 at 1:54 am | #

            Contrary to what you might think from the teachings of Homer Simpson, Jebus wasn’t a person who had a word to learn. Jebus was a Canaanite city conquered by King David. See the First Book of Chronicles, chapter 11, paragraphs 4 to 8. Jebus is usually said to be Jerusalem.

            • SDGlyph
              SDGlyph
              October 27, 2015 at 2:42 am | #

              *googles*
              Ohh… Finally I understand that irritating thing where people refer to Jesus as ‘Jebus’. Homer Simpson. Huh.

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                October 27, 2015 at 9:17 am | #

                “Jebus” and “‘Murica” go hand-in-hand.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          October 27, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

          Big Toe Daddy’s thing about women’s hair sounds like one of the many bees in the bonnet of Saint Paul. I’m thinking in particular of his first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 11, paragraphs 14 & 15. After rambling semi-coherently for thirteen paragraphs, he writes: Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            October 27, 2015 at 9:19 am | #

            My translation: “Ew ew ew; stop being all gross and icky. Go, like, grow your hair long or something so I can’t ever see you naked. Ew.” Also, “Guys, cut your hair shorter so I can see your naked bodies better,” I guess.

    • Lapin
      Lapin
      October 27, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      You have to understand that hair is actually serious business to people like this. These are the people who lobby to get “unnatural” hair colors and “distracting” haircuts banned in schools, along with the equally “distracting piercings. They genuinely believe a girl wearing her hair in an undercut or something similar is an affront to The Correct Way and a rejection of belief. I’m not even joking. When my mother briefly went through her Evangelical phase, she was not quite drinking enough Kool-Aid to protest me having blue hair (I was twelve and it was a reward for straight A’s), and the church told her I could no longer attend the youth group until I fixed my hair, and pretty much all the kids in the youth group were forbidden by their parents to speak to me any more.

      Thus began my mother’s slow realization that these people weren’t quite right in the head.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        October 27, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

        Anyone who doesn’t believe that’s true clearly didn’t read the comments when Becky GOT the haircut…

        • MindLink
          MindLink
          October 27, 2015 at 7:29 am | #

          And those comments weren’t even religious based.
          My mother, a staunch atheist, had the exact same view on hair colours and piercings, and “different” hair cuts. After years of my younger sister going through the whole gamut of colours and styles though, she has softened up a bit, but it was the source of many a heated arguments at first.
          Turns out being opposed to “different” things isn’t limited to religion. To atheists, the struggle is not between Heavenly and the Devil, but between “Normality” and “Insanity/delinquency”

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            October 27, 2015 at 9:32 am | #

            Of all the ways a kid can rebel, a haircut (no mater how extreme) is the least dangerous and permanent a kid can have. Worst damage possible? Photos they may regret later in life; and who the hell has high school photos that aren’t awful in some way, seriously?

            What’s that? You want to dye your hair pink, [Daughter]? Yeah, go for it; it’ll be cute as hell. You want a mohawk? Augh, no, my baby, protest, protest, all right, fine, I guess, but you’ll regret it. (Can’t give in too easily, heh. If she wants to rebel I’d rather she think she’s rebelling with her hair than I just say yes immediately to whatever extreme thing she wants to do with it and have her try to rebel further with something actually dangerous like drugs).

            Having said that, piercings? Hey, if you’re old enough to keep them clean while they heal, have at ‘er; but be aware facial piercings may impact your employability (as will facial tattoos). But whatever; you can take out the ring or what for work if you need to, and again, it’s not actually harmful. Tattoos? Be old enough and really sure the design has deep meaning and will for a very long time, because it’s going to last for a very long time. No, you can’t get one with Justin Bieber.

            I really don’t get people who won’t let their older teens do things like experiment with their hair or get all shocked by piercings and tats and things. Who cares? As a parent it’s my job to point out that a lot of places that would otherwise hire you may not, based solely on the piercings, and their customers’ perceived reactions to that; it might be nice to have more options available than just the funky cafe down the road. Tattoos? Hey, if it’s something that has very deep meaning to you, again, have at ‘er. Or, hell, if you just want one, sure, why not; I’m not your mother. I’d advise waiting until you’re in your late 20’s or older, though, simply because they are more or less permanent (sure, you can laser them off, but that’s prohibitively expensive) so you want to (I figure) make sure it’s not something you’ll change your mind about in five years. Five years goes by really, really quickly.

            But, fuck. Hair? Have at ‘er. Jeez.

            • Strangeshapes
              Strangeshapes
              October 27, 2015 at 1:29 pm | #

              My partner’s little brother went through a major death metal phase in high school, in which he grew his wheat-blond hair past his waist. It was friggin gorgeous. His mom approved, and also bought him ripped band tshirts at goodwill. He was so disappointed. 😜

            • Guairdean Beatha
              Guairdean Beatha
              October 27, 2015 at 2:50 pm | #

              Both my daughters were free, and in some cases encouraged, to define their own look. The only limits were things that were irreversible (like tattoos) or would interfere with their education. The younger once wanted colored streaks in her hair. When I suggested that the streaks should be horizontal, I got “the look.” Men first learn about “the look” from their wives. Those blessed with daughters sometimes get “the look” from several sides at once. It can be frightening, or amusing, but whatever you do, don’t laugh. That won’t end well.

            • saki
              saki
              October 27, 2015 at 5:08 pm | #

              When I was fifteen I went and bleached a streak of hair (to look kinda like Rogue from the X-Men movies). I thought it would anger my parents, something along the lines of “that’ll show’em!”. My mom said it looked adorable and my dad didn’t even notice. I was sooo disappointed. In hindsight it was actually quite hilarious. I think, if I ever have a kid and they decide to rebel in a similar way, I’ll pretend to be outraged just so they don’t do something worse.

            • MindLink
              MindLink
              October 27, 2015 at 5:22 pm | #

              Yeah, never understood why parents so often care about superfluous things like hair, clothes, etc., are they all expecting little “Mini-Me”s?
              I got flack from wearing tweed jackets even! I mean, TWEED. I didn’t wear it to “rebell”, I wore it because it seemed mature, stylish and comfortable. I never understood why some kids go through “rebellions” either, why would they want to ? For me, growing up, the problem was that my parents mistook everything I did as a rebellion, I just wanted to live in peace. They still let me, and my sister, dress and style like we wanted, they just complained about it and let us know how “ridiculous” everyone would think we were. I even got a lot of crap for being Christian, they tended to look at it as a form of insanity. Yes, there are fundamentalist atheists as well. They have nothing against religious people, as long as they “don’t really believe” in what they are saying. And they can be just as conservative as many Christian fundies on many areas, they just happen to think Christians are just as dangerous as Christians believe devil worshippers to be.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          October 27, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

          Many of those comments were simply about aesthetics. Some, myself included, don’t believe that hairstyle suits her.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            October 27, 2015 at 11:48 am | #

            Eh, while my favourite Becky design is still the one from last year, I think her new haircut was an important visual indicator of Becky trying to affirm her new identity; that she’s putting her restrictive bullshit behind and becoming All New Becky.

            Also it’s adorbs.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              October 27, 2015 at 8:35 pm | #

              Yes, as a symbol it works quite nicely.

          • MindLink
            MindLink
            October 27, 2015 at 1:34 pm | #

            And for me, the complaint was really about the way Willis drew her hair, I didn’t think it looked like the real-world hair-style he was trying to copy at all. But the way he draws it now looks much better.

          • Lapin
            Lapin
            October 28, 2015 at 2:06 am | #

            Really? I thought it was pretty nifty looking. She seemed more comfortable after she got it.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 27, 2015 at 7:32 am | #

        My hair like Jesus wore it

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          October 27, 2015 at 7:34 am | #

          My hair like Jesus wore it.
          Hallelujah, I adore it,
          Hallelujah, Mary loved her son,
          Why don’t my mother love me?

          • David
            David
            October 27, 2015 at 12:37 pm | #

            Because you remind her of your father. Jesus may have worn a beard (“is there womanfolk among us?”), but being parthogenetic offspring, had XX chromosomes and consequently was actually female.

      • evilmidnightlurker
        evilmidnightlurker
        October 27, 2015 at 10:33 am | #

        How do they square this with all those paintings of Cesare Borgia Jesus having long hair?

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      October 27, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

      Hair length is a big deal to some of the fringier conservative Christian sects. For example the Duggars have been followers of a guy named Bill Gothard, and one of Gothard’s things is that women should have long, curly hair. In a way I’m surprised Becky was allowed to have he hair style he originally did. Joyce’s hair seems closer to the kind of style Ross might think is Biblical.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        October 27, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        Curses, I’m losing letters. The should read “the hair style she originally did.”

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        October 27, 2015 at 1:25 am | #

        Do they think they’re supposed to curl it if it’s naturally straight?

        • wynne
          wynne
          October 27, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

          The Duggars do, to some extent.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          October 27, 2015 at 2:13 am | #

          They aren’t supposed to braid it. (1 Timothy 2:9)

      • Jenny Islander
        Jenny Islander
        October 27, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

        You forgot the “best” part: that Gothard systematically molested the young women who were sent to/chosen by him for special counseling–and he specifically picked out the ones with long, curly hair.

    • Nicknack Paddywhack
      Nicknack Paddywhack
      October 27, 2015 at 7:00 am | #

      I know a few Christian fundamentalists. Women’s hair is a Really Important Thing for a lot of them.

      • SDGlyph
        SDGlyph
        October 27, 2015 at 9:27 am | #

        See also: “controlling women in general” is a Really Important Thing for a lot of them.

        • Reaver
          Reaver
          October 27, 2015 at 8:54 pm | #

          Yeeep my parents were like that, and still are 8D First thing I plan on doing when I move out is hack off allll my hair

  17. Haven
    Haven
    October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Honestly pretty impressed with Becky, even if it didn’t work. I know in that situation I’d be too scared/sad/helpless to even think of trying to distract him while the cavalry came through.

    • Airyu
      Airyu
      October 27, 2015 at 1:26 am | #

      Becky’s shown a few times that she cares for people before herself, like asking if Dina was alright, or getting in the car to prevent Joyce from getting shot.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        October 27, 2015 at 2:24 am | #

        This.

        And it makes the religious allegory very interesting. Becky is willing to sacrifice herself to protect and save all around her, whereas all Toedad knows how to do is threaten her and try and kill the key part that makes her her.

  18. Wublub
    Wublub
    October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Goddamnit, he wasn’t supposed to notice Amazigirl. He needs to learn how to actually stay distracted when somebody is trying to distract him. THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES YOU, TOEDAD.

    • Dellaran
      Dellaran
      October 27, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      This is why we can’t have nice villains.

  19. Disloyal Subject
    Disloyal Subject
    October 27, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Huh. How long have we had that “beginning of week” button on the homepage?

    Also, hangups on gender roles are on thing, but hairstyle condemnation is the first thing he has to say? Fuck you, Ross. I’m increasingly convinced he’s a lost cause, which makes him all the more tragic.

    • John
      John
      October 27, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      Uh. A long time? Possibly forever?

      • gkheyf
        gkheyf
        October 27, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        orly? never seen it. seems like it should be handy…in some way. i’ll figure it out in the morning

        • Clif
          Clif
          October 27, 2015 at 11:24 am | #

          There is no beginning of the week button. You’re hallucinating. No, don’t go check it.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        Huh.

  20. Taigan
    Taigan
    October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    I am curious how Amazi-Girl will be processed by Ross’s worldview. Quickly as just another sinner? Or will there be a few moments of WTF? (Or whatever the appropriate equivalent would be.)

    • thebatman22
      thebatman22
      October 27, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      Perhaps hell say the tights are too revealing or some shit and call her a slut or some bs.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        October 27, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

        …too revealing? They literally cover her from neck to toe. Joyce and Becky get to wear pants, so I have a hard time picturing him being offended by visible leg-shapes.
        …scratch that, he’s proven himself to be less than rational at the moment. I can picture it all too well.
        We’ll see.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          October 27, 2015 at 2:00 am | #

          I was rather surprised that Dorothy was wearing jeans, because of Deuteronomy 22:5.

          • Schpoonman
            Schpoonman
            October 27, 2015 at 3:51 am | #

            Do you mean Joyce? Because Dorothy is an atheist that was raised without religion.

            • Agemegos
              Agemegos
              October 27, 2015 at 6:44 am | #

              Yes, I mean Joyce. Sorry.

        • Marie
          Marie
          October 27, 2015 at 2:12 am | #

          Tight=Revealing. While I don’t necessarily agree with it, it is why people generally wear tights under another layer, so it’s not incredibly weird a leap.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        October 27, 2015 at 2:16 am | #

        He might decide that her Amazi-jumpsuit qualifies as “strange apparel”. See Zephaniah 1:8.

        • MindLink
          MindLink
          October 27, 2015 at 1:37 pm | #

          Are you sure you meant 1:8 ? Cause that says:
          “Neither their silver nor their gold Will be able to deliver them On the day of the LORD’S wrath; And all the earth will be devoured In the fire of His jealousy, For He will make a complete end, Indeed a terrifying one, Of all the inhabitants of the earth.”
          I’m not sure how that applies.

          • MindLink
            MindLink
            October 27, 2015 at 1:40 pm | #

            Never mind, I accidentally typed 18 instead of 8.
            “And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD’S sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king’s children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.”
            And I see “strange apparel” is translated other places as “foreign attire/garments” and even as “following pagan customs”

    • Dr. T
      Dr. T
      October 27, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

      It’s simple. He will view her as someone who is looking to take Becky out of his control. He is willing to hurt her over that (though he said he hoped he would not have to hurt anyone). He also made it sound like he was willing to kill Becky to prevent her from sinning anymore, so if he thinks she might be successfully taken away from him he might go for the extremest choice possible.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        October 27, 2015 at 2:26 am | #

        Yup. Yet another pokemans type come to forestall his sacred mission and steal her away to the lands of sin and Hell. And as he’s said before, he’s not going to let her leave him again. No matter what…

        Basically, this is oh holy fuck levels of bad.

    • MindLink
      MindLink
      October 27, 2015 at 7:33 am | #

      Maybe as a literal demon ? Depends on how sheltered his own world view is, and he’s not exactly in a stable frame of mind at the moment.

    • Guairdean Beatha
      Guairdean Beatha
      October 27, 2015 at 3:07 pm | #

      His view of AG may depend on what Becky’s mother looked like. If Becky’s mother was a freckled redhead, he may see AG as Satan coming to steal his daughter. It would also bode ill for Becky since he may see her as a replacement. if Becky’s Mom was a dark eyed brunette, he may see an avenging spirit coming to defend her daughter. Otherwise, he may be thinking “I’d be on the highway by now if it weren’t for these meddling kids.”

  21. Sterling
    Sterling
    October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    God am I glad Willis has evolved beyond his “Tragic Automotive Accident as Drama” days…

    (God I really hope Willis has evolved beyond his “Tragic Automotive Accident as Drama” days…….)

    • Idon'tcarenomore
      Idon'tcarenomore
      October 27, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

      Ditto

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 2:26 am | #

      Next comic:

      Giant truck.

      (Goddammit)

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        October 27, 2015 at 4:11 am | #

        Filled with manure.

        • Lim
          Lim
          October 27, 2015 at 7:54 am | #

          So Toe Dad is part of the Biff line?

          • David
            David
            October 27, 2015 at 12:46 pm | #

            Father, grandfather, aunt and third cousin. If you can’t find another convincingly devout family, stick with your own.

  22. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Ya know, I’m starting to think maybe her father isn’t such a good egg…

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      October 27, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      For real, I thought the fact that he bought a gun as a gift for his daughter was the sweetest thing a father can do.

      • MrZombieScordo
        MrZombieScordo
        October 27, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

        curses, our comments are too similar and you got here first.

    • MrZombieScordo
      MrZombieScordo
      October 27, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      I thought he was pretty cool when he held a small gun show for free for all the students, but maybe you’re right.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 27, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

        He even had a friendly wrestling match with her girlfriend, a right of passage he usually preserved for his daughter’s boyfriend but changed his rules because he respects his daughters decision. That’s what I’m assuming he was doing right?

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          October 27, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

          It was pretty swell of good ol’ Mr. McIntyre to take his daughter back home so he can get everything in order to enroll her in IU.

          • Someone
            Someone
            October 27, 2015 at 1:58 am | #

            And giving her friends free rides, will his kindness ever end?

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              October 27, 2015 at 2:29 am | #

              Give it time, he’s got a special bit of metal for some special lady to wear in on her chest.

              • Bagge
                Bagge
                October 27, 2015 at 4:44 am | #

                Good ol’ Mr. McIntyre…

                …was REALLY eager to meet his daughters girlfriend

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              October 27, 2015 at 9:10 am | #

              Pretty soon he’ll be donating blood as well.

  23. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    October 27, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Who the hell are you to talk about womanhood, Ross?!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

      Becky’s twice the woman you’ll ever be…
      She is conversly half the man you’ll ever be.
      She’s 1/3rd the Toe you’ll ever be.

      • Portmanteaust
        Portmanteaust
        October 27, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

        Becky is exactly 3.0 times the woman and 1.89 times the man toedad is. She is not really a toe much at all.

  24. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    This sir is YOUR daughter. All the family you have left, and she hates your guts.

    • Idon'tcarenomore
      Idon'tcarenomore
      October 27, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      What’s sad is I don’t think she hates him. She just can’t live with his rules and rather than do that, she ran.
      Good for her.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 2:31 am | #

      Too many parents are only too happy to lose the child they do have in their demands to only love the child they wanted to have and thought they had. And they are only too happy to torment said child when it refuses to play along.

      • Dragon_Nataku
        Dragon_Nataku
        October 27, 2015 at 1:19 pm | #

        Yeeeeeeep. Fortunately I have a kickass uncle (who married into the family and therefore didn’t grow up with their insanity) who was like “Put up with it for now, use them for what you need (like tuition money, etc), and then leave and never speak to them again.”

        Took several years for me to wrap my head around that but if your parents, who are supposed to be the people who love and support you more than anybody else in the world, can’t love you for who you are then they’re not worth you loving them.

  25. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Come on, Becky. Slap him in his ugly face.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      October 27, 2015 at 1:24 am | #

      Actually, no, don’t. We’re trying to avoid car accidents, remember?

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        October 27, 2015 at 9:14 am | #

        Why? Everyone loves abig pileup.

  26. Adj
    Adj
    October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    “Your hair is your womanhood?”

    Fer eff’s sake, seriously? I don’t think I’ve ever disliked a fictional character more, and that includes Kai Winn, Kai Leng, and Dolores Umbridge.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      October 27, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      He’s about level with Umbridge. Palpatine is still undisputed champion.

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      October 27, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      oh

      OH

      he thought Dina ate her hair

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        October 27, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        lmaOooomg

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 27, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

        Is that why he thinks they’re called carpet munchers?

        • saki
          saki
          October 27, 2015 at 5:42 pm | #

          Your comment sent me into a near hysterical fit of laughter. X’D

      • Lou
        Lou
        October 27, 2015 at 3:11 am | #

        Mind blown. That makes perfect sense (in a twisted kind of way) and introduces a new level of crazy to fundamentalists that I did not know existed.

    • Portmanteaust
      Portmanteaust
      October 27, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

      *DS9 spoilers follow*
      Toedad is an unambiguously bad person, but I don’t think he compares to Kai Winn. Unless his off-screen activities include bombing schools for teaching science, assassinating his competition at work, or stabbing his oldest friend to death.

      • David
        David
        October 27, 2015 at 12:51 pm | #

        He probably was part of the stoning party for his wife after she dyed her hair. Sad, but it needed to be done before Becky got to see her. Still seems to have affected her womanhood, though.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 2:34 am | #

      Hair is the first major battle for self-expression and identity a lot of the time. A lot of parents, when it becomes clear that the sprog might not be 100% heteronormative get very controlling about hair and thus reclaiming hair as an expression of self often is the first key part of living openly and honestly.

      This is also why hair is often strongly culturally regulated and that’s before factoring extremely narrow gender role expectations of the type seen in Toedad’s church (there’s a reason that Becky’s smoking hot ‘do was so initially startling to Joyce).

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 27, 2015 at 2:55 am | #

      Well he must have figured womanhood out eventually, given the evidence in the passenger seat.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        October 27, 2015 at 9:36 am | #

        Why? Galasso has a kid and he apparently didn’t.

      • Palamdrone
        Palamdrone
        October 27, 2015 at 12:14 pm | #

        What color was the mailman’s hair?

        • SDGlyph
          SDGlyph
          October 27, 2015 at 4:43 pm | #

          All Ross’ offspring should have dark hair! The seed is strong!

  27. chefhoag
    chefhoag
    October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    The thing is…Amazi-Girl has been NOTICED. Does he…

    A) Slam on the brakes?
    B) Accelerate and hope he loses her/throws her off?
    C) Pulls out a gun we haven’t seen and tries to shoot her?

    Things ain’t looking good for Amazi-Girl/Amber.

    • Nono
      Nono
      October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      C is highly unlikely since he’d have to 1. drive with one arm while trying to aim behind him and 2. there’s glass in the way.

      • John
        John
        October 27, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        I seriously doubt the Buttmobile’s rear window is bulletproof.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          October 27, 2015 at 1:44 am | #

          Yeah…he decides to shoot her, the window becomes shrapnel.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      October 27, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

      I doubt he has anything with him besides his rifle. If he had a pistol he never would have brought out the rifle in the first place.

    • Dana
      Dana
      October 27, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

      Toedad loves waterskiing. You know once she’s had some fun he’ll want a turn.

    • NinjaNick
      NinjaNick
      October 27, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

      I’m guessing A and causes a traffic jam in one lane.

    • MindLink
      MindLink
      October 27, 2015 at 7:37 am | #

      Or
      D) Gets distracted and crashes into the car ahead, or runs off the road ?

    • saki
      saki
      October 27, 2015 at 5:45 pm | #

      E) Take a sharp turn hoping the momentum sends her flying?

      Does Toedad even know what momentum is? … Probably not.

  28. Lapin
    Lapin
    October 27, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    “Uh….hey…’sup?”

  29. Lordess of Madness
    Lordess of Madness
    October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Screwed. We are all screwed. Well, at least toedad is about to be screwed when that masked vigalante catches up to him. And he’ll be toetally screwed when the rebel motor bike chick and his sinner daughter’s bestie catch up! This is getting good…

  30. EdHead
    EdHead
    October 27, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Shit has hit the fan, and i think Rss is about the hit the brakes and amazigirl hit the car.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      October 27, 2015 at 5:13 pm | #

      Yes, the fecal matter has indeed struck the oscillating air transport device. Depending on what toedick does next, this could be very bad. So Sal is going to arrive in the nick of time and save the day?

  31. l3aker
    l3aker
    October 27, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    Whatever is in that pouch better be good

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

      It’s a dvd with the “It gets better” PTSA. She’s gonna force Toe dad to watch it until he either changes his mind or kill himself from the nonstop viewings.

  32. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    October 27, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    I was just thinking earlier today about what he thought about the hair. Go to hell, Toedad, this is even worse than whatever I was thinking.

    Amber, I hope you have a plan.

  33. Just Me
    Just Me
    October 27, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    Amber, I mean Amazi-girl, don’t freeze up now. Whatever you got planned, so it already.

    • Just Me
      Just Me
      October 27, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

      I meant, do it already. Typo, no edit, oh well…

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        October 27, 2015 at 9:25 am | #

        It’s funny you think she has a plan.

        • Clif
          Clif
          October 27, 2015 at 11:32 am | #

          She has an Amaziplan.

        • saki
          saki
          October 27, 2015 at 5:48 pm | #

          I like to think whatever she’s fiddling with in panels 1 and 2 is part of a plan.

  34. Sock_V
    Sock_V
    October 27, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

    Welp. Here comes the hospital.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 27, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

      And then Toe dad drives right into the hospital.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        October 27, 2015 at 4:14 am | #

        Through Blaine’s room.

  35. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    October 27, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    And the real high speed chase starts right about now.

  36. Tacos
    Tacos
    October 27, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    I know I’ve said this before but… well, shit.

  37. spiderfan14
    spiderfan14
    October 27, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    “Not-so Clever Girl”

  38. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    October 27, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    !

  39. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 27, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    NOW CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG but I just feel like Jesus would probably have some hangups about swinging a loaded gun around in order to get your way. I mean I may be wrong. The bible doesn’t have anything specifically against it since guns weren’t invented yet. But you are indeed a sinner, man. And only he who is without sin should load the first shotgun.

    • David
      David
      October 27, 2015 at 12:54 pm | #

      The Israelites were quite fond of executing people with projectile weapons. It’s called “stoning”.

      • SDGlyph
        SDGlyph
        October 27, 2015 at 4:23 pm | #

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECUrlnXCqk

  40. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 27, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

    Becky’s hair isn’t even that unfeminine. I’ve seen way more girls with that hair style than boys. (Most people can’t really pull it off though)

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      October 27, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      Ditto. To the whole comment.

    • liahansen
      liahansen
      October 27, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

      it’s definitely, like, “untraditional” though, which is kind of inherently unfeminine in ppl like ross’s worldview

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        October 27, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

        True enough. It’s not unfeminine to Toedad because women don’t have it; it’s unfeminine because how dare his property choose to express herself in a way that he and Jesus didn’t explicitly approve.

    • Idon'tcarenomore
      Idon'tcarenomore
      October 27, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

      Agree. I think it is a very unflattering cut myself. Agree, not many can carry it off. I guess she was needing a physical manifestation of her new life with a new haircut. (thought she should have spent the money smarter, but see why she did it I guess after it was pointed out).

    • saki
      saki
      October 27, 2015 at 5:53 pm | #

      From a fundie point of view, this is ExTREMELY unfeminine. Hell, Ross probably has never even seen that haircut before on anyone ever.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      October 27, 2015 at 6:59 pm | #

      Its how BECKY wants it so naturally Toedad has to force her to change it because he is very secure in his parental role…

      “Daddy, I like ice cream”
      “THEN YOU WILL NEVER EAT IT AGAIN “

  41. MrZombieScordo
    MrZombieScordo
    October 27, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

    That was not a well thought out plan Becky. He was looking straight ahead with divine fury, and you drew his attention to the middle of the windshield.

    • Clif
      Clif
      October 27, 2015 at 11:35 am | #

      He’s looking to our right. Which would be towards the driver’s side mirror.

      • Clif
        Clif
        October 27, 2015 at 11:44 am | #

        No, I stand corrected. He was turned toward Becky and glanced right towards his center mirror.

  42. Regina Phalange
    Regina Phalange
    October 27, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

    “Your hair is your womanhood”….but she had a pretty short cut before….in terms of total hair retention, it’s cut a bit on the side, but more so styled.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 2:42 am | #

      In Toedad’s culture, gayness isn’t an orientation, it’s a failure of gender roles. Gay men is what happens if your kid ends up too girly and you fail to beat it out of them. And lesbians are really just confused and want to be men and so start to adopt male roles like dating women or short haircuts.

      As such, her cool dykey haircut and her whole identity is, in her eyes, an intentional rejection of her womanhood and her womanly duties and that she will abandon haircut and identity once she has been carefully taught to embrace her “femininity” again.

      This is also why professional homophobes of this culture don’t seem to separate out trans people and gay people very much. To people like Toedad and sadly a large number of individuals out there, trans people are just extreme examples of gay people. Basically, what happens when you gay so hard you lose track of your “correct gender” in your fealty to the “wrong roles”.

      • MindLink
        MindLink
        October 27, 2015 at 7:42 am | #

        But that haircut is neither associated with lesbians nor men, but it’s still a hair cut, and to seem people, even a “regular” hair cut is an attack on her womanhood. The short style she already had could’ve been caused by either very slow hair growth, or some kind of hair accident, or maybe she cut it that way after leaving home. I know a lot of strict religious folks have hair down to their knees.

        • BenRG
          BenRG
          October 27, 2015 at 1:38 pm | #

          A lot depends on the specific flavour of his views. However, I suspect that his perception of ‘womanhood’ is a long-haired, barefoot mother, teacher and home-maker who is either nursing or pregnant and who has absolutely no real identity other than being someone’s daughter or wife.

  43. SailorCakes
    SailorCakes
    October 27, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

    I don’t get it since it doesn’t seem like Becky’s hair was that long in the first place. It’s not like she had long flowing locks before her haircut…….. ._ .”

  44. Beef Jerky Guy
    Beef Jerky Guy
    October 27, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

    It just hit me how weird it is that he’s driving a car.

    Why isn’t he driving a toe truck?

    • Kiggy
      Kiggy
      October 27, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

      Badump-tsch

    • Strangeshapes
      Strangeshapes
      October 27, 2015 at 1:41 pm | #

      Your gravitar’s eyebrow makes this.

  45. Dana
    Dana
    October 27, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

    I’ve met amazi-girl. She’s going to escalate that shit.

  46. detective boomwolf
    detective boomwolf
    October 27, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

    BALLS, ABORT THE MISSION!!! I REPEAT, ABORT!!!

    THE TOE HAS SPOTTED THE CAPE, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!

  47. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    October 27, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

    What’s in Amazi-girl’s glove pouches? Spearmint gum, of course! After all you want fresh breath when you go into action against a kidnaper. They’re the right size for gum.

  48. Rani
    Rani
    October 27, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

    No seriously, AG, what the hell was Plan A gonna be?

    • Clif
      Clif
      October 27, 2015 at 11:38 am | #

      She has an Amaziplan and spearmint to gum up the works.

  49. Mike
    Mike
    October 27, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

    AG is a lot closer in that last frame. Is it the back window before she crashes into the rear plastic or the side window as she slides past at previous speed dodging the car and passing it? Is the look on her face curiosity of the car’s contents or impending doom?

    • Jestam
      Jestam
      October 27, 2015 at 3:04 am | #

      I think she’s alarmed over having been spotted.

  50. Badgermole
    Badgermole
    October 27, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

    Ugh, that dehumanising. This must have been said before but what Ross is doing is the definition of objectification. Becky was, in his mind, an object called Ideal Daughter defined by certain visible characteristics he took for granted. Since those characteristics aren’t there any more, she is now another object, one he can’t even name, a Whatever instead of a Who. Maybe Becky is starting to realise this now since the threat of the gun isn’t at the forefront of her mind, and it’s pretty heartbreaking to have to come to terms with.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 2:46 am | #

      Having lived through it, it’s the worst. To realize that one’s own parents don’t want to get to know the you that is and accept you, but are only interested in your serviceability to serve as “perfect son” or “perfect daughter” or even just a placeholder child, there to be seen and never mention the objectification.

      It’s alienating and brutal to think that all the connections one thought one made with one’s folks was really to some imaginary object and all this hate was just oozing under the surface waiting to come out. I honestly wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worst enemy.

  51. ShadowDJ
    ShadowDJ
    October 27, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

    As a religious man, Ross, I can say this: You are a bigoted waste of space and I am hoping you go to prison so Becky can live a life without some over bearing wacko controlling her

    • Kiggy
      Kiggy
      October 27, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

      ^THIS^

  52. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    October 27, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

    *Chapter Doof playing throughout*

    Seriously I’m starting to get a very Fury Road vibe out of this.

    • saki
      saki
      October 27, 2015 at 5:59 pm | #

      Oh, I’m not the only one!
      Fury Road is all the more on my mind because of yesterday’s Gotham episode.

      • TrueVCU
        TrueVCU
        October 27, 2015 at 10:02 pm | #

        WITNESSED!

  53. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 27, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

    It could’ve been worse, Ross. She could’ve gotten a perm. Or DREADLOCKS.
    *vomits* Oh god no.

    • saki
      saki
      October 27, 2015 at 6:00 pm | #

      On one hand I’d love to hear his racist comment over the dreadlocks (because of course in his mind dreadlocks = black thugs. Probably), but on the other hand, I don’t think dreads would suit Becky at all.

  54. Yu'Karaya
    Yu'Karaya
    October 27, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

    Everything that giant toe says is hard to read. I’m reliving coming out all over again, except now with religious overtones

  55. comic.phile
    comic.phile
    October 27, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

    That “tap tap tap” at the bottom of panel 2… is Becky texting?

    • Victor Riley
      Victor Riley
      October 27, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

      I didn’t notice it until you said that…

      • Ellen
        Ellen
        October 27, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

        WOW, nice catch! OMG HANG ON A SEC HERE…

        1. Becky still has Dina’s phone
        2. There are exactly 3 TAPs visible
        3. I’m calling five to one odds that Becky just dialled 911!

        It’s a much better strategy than texting… police can track the call location (somewhat; harder with a cell)

        OH WAIT WHAT IF Becky’s dialogue here is COMPLETELY DELIBERATE so that the 911 operator can get a read on the situation!

        Becky may be sheltered and homeschooled but she is smart, dammit.

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          October 27, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

          Oh wow, that’d be actually really super smart.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          October 27, 2015 at 2:32 am | #

          Well spotted. That would not have occurred to me, but now that you point it out I am instantly convinced.

        • Mr. Morningstar
          Mr. Morningstar
          October 27, 2015 at 12:21 pm | #

          I thought she was tapping toedad, to get his attention

          • Dragon_Nataku
            Dragon_Nataku
            October 27, 2015 at 1:29 pm | #

            I thought she was tapping her foot nervously, as some people do. I would prefer Ellen’s version where Becky calls 911 though.

            • Ellen
              Ellen
              October 27, 2015 at 10:19 pm | #

              Indeed. 🙂 As a strategy from the character’s point of view, a 911 gambit makes the most logical sense.

              What I’m worried about is Willis’ point of view and whether it makes narrative sense. 😛

        • Crumplepunch
          Crumplepunch
          October 27, 2015 at 7:47 pm | #

          I just realized this and scrolled down to comment but you beat me to it.

        • Toad
          Toad
          October 29, 2015 at 9:42 pm | #

          FUCKIN’ CALLED IT!

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        October 27, 2015 at 1:36 am | #

        And if she did call 911 — and they answered — everything that follows is being recorded.
        ToeDad, thou hast just plucked thy tongue from thy mouth, and fashioned thyself a sling for thine ass.

    • merbrat
      merbrat
      October 27, 2015 at 2:26 am | #

      I think she is tapping herself, as in “pay attention to me”.

      • segnosaur
        segnosaur
        October 27, 2015 at 12:21 pm | #

        I originally thought she was tapping toedad, as a way to distract him and get him involved in a conversation. Calling 911 probably makes more sense however.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 27, 2015 at 9:42 am | #

      In panel 1, Amazi-girl has her hand to her head; bet she was making a phone call there as well. Can’t imagine it wouldn’t have been to 911.

  56. dudebro
    dudebro
    October 27, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

    I actually like short hair. Why is it such a taboo for men to like short hair on women? Hell, I don’t even like long hair.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      October 27, 2015 at 3:59 am | #

      It’s not, it’s Ross being a monster and condemning Becky for not conforming to what is “Christian”.

      That being said, I prefer long hair on women, but I have met girls that looked very good with short hair. But again, this isn’t a matter of preference, it’s a matter of Ross being a giant piece of shit.

      • David
        David
        October 27, 2015 at 1:07 pm | #

        Well, a giant piece of shit is an item most deserving of a grand coming out.

        • David
          David
          October 27, 2015 at 1:08 pm | #

          Thunderous. Not grand, thunderous. I really have to work on my adjectives.

  57. Guairdean Beatha
    Guairdean Beatha
    October 27, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

    As is to be expected, Fundie’s a bit of a hypocrite. 1 Corinthians 11:15 is the most common verse quoted requiring women to have long hair. The later verses saying that if you object, there is no such custom in the house of God is ignored. He also seems to have forgotten Ephesians 6:4 where it says to not bring your children to anger.

    As for AG, she could easily be in a world of hurt very soon. Stepping on the brakes, or swerving wildly, could create a high speed wipeout.

    • Victor Riley
      Victor Riley
      October 27, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      Doh! I just asked in my post “Where in the Bible does it say that”? But, looks like you got that one on lock.

  58. Victor Riley
    Victor Riley
    October 27, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

    So, womanhood is defined by hair? By hair??? HAIR?????

    Dead folicles jutting out of your head? That defines a woman?

    I know this jerkwad is still living in the 50s, and using gender-roles from the Middle-Ages… but where in the Bible does it say that long-hair is the definition of womanhood? Not a uterus? Boobs? Or even just asking the person in question (because there are a lot of women that don’t have a uterus or boobs). Are cancer patients no longer women?

    I hate this a-hole with the fury of 1,000 suns. Anyone who identifies as a non-woman has no right, or ability, to judge what “Womanhood” is. Including me, and especially not him.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      October 27, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

      “Your hair is your womanhood” claims the man with no beard.

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        October 27, 2015 at 9:55 pm | #

        Cause if your dad doesn’t have a beard, you’ve got *two* moms!

    • Hi There
      Hi There
      October 27, 2015 at 1:07 am | #

      I actually had a counselor (male, mid-60’s who was doing marriage counseling with me and my husband) who, when he found out that my house is a mess (because that kind of happens in raising a young kid with Autism), actually said, “But a woman’s identity is how she keeps her house.” So my identity is my housekeeping. Not my Master’s degree. Not my intelligence that got my degree. Not any other characteristic that actually does define me. No, my identity is in how I keep my house. Granted, my house reflects my personality, but it’s not who I am. And later he said that a man likes a clean house. It took everything in me not to say, “Then the man can clean it.”

      On the other hand, the counseling was somewhat effective in that my husband decided that after watching the counselor, that was definitely not the sort of man he wanted to be and we got out of that office.

      Joys of being a woman and running into sexist crap where some men apparently think they know more about being women than women do.

      • Jenny Islander
        Jenny Islander
        October 27, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

        >.> Did he quote Proverbs 31 with the middle verses left out?

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        October 27, 2015 at 4:35 am | #

        God that counselor sounded awfully antiquated. You sure he wasn’t sixty hundred years old?

        • Hi There
          Hi There
          October 27, 2015 at 9:57 am | #

          I think he may have had a screw loose and some personal issues (like an apparent dislike for women that we only found out about when he got more comfortable with me and my husband than was professional) that he needed to work through before trying to counsel others.

          • David
            David
            October 27, 2015 at 1:10 pm | #

            Why would you want to work on yourself before testing your counsel on others?

      • Dragon_Nataku
        Dragon_Nataku
        October 27, 2015 at 1:36 pm | #

        I totally would have said “Then the man can clean it.”

        This is also my general reaction to people who claim I MUST have children cause “that’s what women do” and “what if your husband wants one.”

        (bonus points if the jerkoff in question says something along the lines of “you owe it to the world because your parents had you” since I am in fact adopted ^<__<^;; )

        Also, anyone who thinks wives are just glorified maids need to be punched in the face til they choke on their own teeth.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      October 27, 2015 at 1:24 am | #

      No worries. If a woman was defined by her hair, then Becky would be a badass woman.

    • wynne
      wynne
      October 27, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

      A lot of the hyper-conservative-officially-non-denominational Christian sects, the kind that expect couples to wait until marriage for their first kiss (like the Duggars from that TLC show), see long wavy hair as a major marker of femininity. Look up Gothard and the Quiverfull movement and be horrified. But I don’t know how far that ideal extends to conservative but still nominally normal groups like Joyce and Becky’s community. Becky’s her hair was still pretty short before her big chop, after all, and he let her go to college/wear shorts.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 27, 2015 at 7:43 am | #

        That’s “expect couples to wait until marriage for their first kiss” and make excuses for incest, child abuse and rape.
        But kissing before marriage is right out.

        I just don’t see how these people think.

        • Guairdean Beatha
          Guairdean Beatha
          October 27, 2015 at 11:14 am | #

          You’ll always fail if you try to understand how a fundamentalist thinks. That’s because you believe that they’re equipped for the process.

      • MindLink
        MindLink
        October 27, 2015 at 7:48 am | #

        “Becky’s her hair was still pretty short before her big chop, after all, and he let her go to college/wear shorts.”

        Another thought struck me: What if Toedad actually used to be much more “liberal” before she went to college, and all this is a result of him believing that it was exactly that, “letting” her have short hair, wear shorts, etc., that lead to her “corruption”, and now he’s thinking he has to double back with extreme prejudice to “get her back” ?

        • JonRich
          JonRich
          October 29, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

          This seems likely, given how stunned Becky/Joyce are. Neither of them expected this kind of violence.

          • Pat
            Pat
            October 29, 2015 at 11:36 pm | #

            Becky was stunned by the gun, but she knew when to bolt.

  59. curiousg
    curiousg
    October 27, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

    Am I the only one that’s confused by the angle of Toedad’s glance into the rearview mirror at the end there?

    • Idon'tcarenomore
      Idon'tcarenomore
      October 27, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

      In the US he is driving on the side of the road that puts his left eye on the side of the driver side door. When he turned his head to the right to talk to Becky, his left eye is now closest to the rear view mirror. And that’s how he spotted AG.
      Becky’s plan backfired. She distracted him from staring straight ahead.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      October 27, 2015 at 3:06 pm | #

      I think he’s supposed to be leaning towards Becky and then eyeing his rearview.

  60. 0kami
    0kami
    October 27, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

    Okay, I was admitantly secretly holding out for some minute chance of Toedad coming around to having a moment of coming around to accepting Becky for who she is and allowing her to be her own person, and bless her, she tried to talk him down and get him to see himself from an outside perspective.

    But, nope, he had his chance and he f**ked it up. At this point, if death or serious injury is in his cards, let it happen.

  61. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    October 27, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

    O crap.

    He’ll either brake or swerve.

    Which one will it be?

    Place your bets!

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      October 27, 2015 at 1:23 am | #

      Swerve. He just got a glance at Amazi-Girl; I don’t think he knows that she’s hitching a ride from him on her skateboard.

      Otherwise, he’d probably stop and Amazi-Girl will have to jump onto the car, run to catch up with her board, and skid to a stop in front of the car like a badass.

    • Guairdean Beatha
      Guairdean Beatha
      October 27, 2015 at 11:24 am | #

      He might speed up. The possibility that a “mere female” poses any threat won’t cross what’s left of his mind. His response may be to simply drive away from the nuisance.

  62. Lasenna
    Lasenna
    October 27, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

    I think Amber looks really pretty in that last panel. The poufy, wind blown hair look really suits her.

    • saki
      saki
      October 27, 2015 at 6:08 pm | #

      Agreed.

  63. Time Sage
    Time Sage
    October 27, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

    Is no one going to comment on becky Tapping on something? My guess: She still has Dina’s phone and is texting someone.

    • Ellen
      Ellen
      October 27, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

      I commented above where someone else pointed it out! I think she has Dina’s phone and just dialed 911

      THEREFORE the 911 operator on the line heard everything she said next 😀

      • merbrat
        merbrat
        October 27, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

        Hmmm… you may be right. I thought she was tapping herself (on the arm) indicating for him to pay attention (to distract)
        Maybe she *is* tapping 911 (ergo 3 taps)

        • Ellen
          Ellen
          October 27, 2015 at 3:24 am | #

          Oh, I guess tapping herself would make sense too… but I’ll be honest, now I’ll end up being super disappointed if that is all it was XD

      • Will
        Will
        October 27, 2015 at 11:29 am | #

        Yeah, the way she’s describing what Ross has done to her makes way more sense if there’s someone else hearing it.

        • Ellen
          Ellen
          October 27, 2015 at 10:09 pm | #

          +1 good observation.

          It might alternatively be explained as hotheadedness, but you’re right, there wouldn’t be much sense in calling out Toedad’s misdeed like that without cause if she wanted to keep things calm.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      October 27, 2015 at 4:47 am | #

      I missed the tapping!!! Becky is calling 911 while distracting him, like any good kidnapping victim should. AWESOME BECKY!!!!!!

  64. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    October 27, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

    I know Mr. Willis has said no main character dies in DoA.
    But, there are worse things that death as Stephen King reminds us.

    Someone has noted that he pretty much has 3 choices now: slam on the brakes, speed up, or start weaving back and forth. Any one of which is going to screw Amber big time.

    I hope that whatever is in that wrist pouch is an answer to what’s coming.
    Either that, or Sal & Joyce just appear on the road and further distract him.

    Which again, could be worse thing to happen. Or not.

    Aggggg!. I hate the 24 hour gaps.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      October 27, 2015 at 4:03 am | #

      Last I heard, no characters will be permanently removed from the comic in a manner that is reminiscent of death, because it accomplishes the same thing. So no comas or anything like that.

      • MindLink
        MindLink
        October 27, 2015 at 7:52 am | #

        The only thing I’ve seen, is a link to Willis answering a comment many years ago, specifically about Dina, that there would be no deaths this time around, a single sentence. I’d like to see links to his other comments to see what exactly has been said.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          October 27, 2015 at 8:01 am | #

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/mine/

          Per this strip, nobody’s dying.

          • MindLink
            MindLink
            October 27, 2015 at 8:16 am | #

            And that’s the link I was talking about, it’s only one sentence, said as reply to someone worrying specifically about Dina, nothing about comas, nothing about “strip time doesn’t allow for reactions to serious trauma or death”

            • Lord Stoneheart
              Lord Stoneheart
              October 27, 2015 at 12:41 pm | #

              I’m almost positive I’ve seen it on either another strip or tumblr that no one was dying. (Besides Dina wasn’t nearly as developed way back then. So if he won’t kill off Dina for reasons, than some of those reasons can be extrapolated to the rest of the cast).

      • David
        David
        October 27, 2015 at 1:13 pm | #

        Arguably, Toedad started out braindead, so a coma would not be a substantial change.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 27, 2015 at 9:46 am | #

      Panel 1, AG now has her hand to her head. Pretty sure she’s making a phone call. Can’t see who she’d be calling other than 911.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        October 27, 2015 at 3:50 pm | #

        Looks like. But it seems like an odd culmination of superheroing around with a skateboard, grapnel, and moving car.

  65. AeroQC
    AeroQC
    October 27, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

    *Meanwhile in the back of Amazi-girl’s mind*
    “Ruh roh”

    • Someone
      Someone
      October 27, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

      It turns out that Ross is actually old man Jenkins

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        October 27, 2015 at 8:00 am | #

        Ahh, which version exactly?

  66. Jason
    Jason
    October 27, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

    Does ToeDad actually have a mouth, or does he just talk through his nose?

    • Guairdean Beatha
      Guairdean Beatha
      October 27, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

      His mustache talks for him. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

      • Someone
        Someone
        October 27, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

        The only way to destroy him is to destroy his mustache. He’ll implode without it

      • Rheinman137
        Rheinman137
        October 27, 2015 at 11:37 am | #

        I knew that ‘stache looked like an eldritch abomination!

        • Guairdean Beatha
          Guairdean Beatha
          October 27, 2015 at 12:16 pm | #

          “Full Metal Fundie”? Now there’s a twisted mental image!

          • Guairdean Beatha
            Guairdean Beatha
            October 27, 2015 at 1:16 pm | #

            Of course, it he pulls out a watch with a date scratched inside it will give us a clue about how Becky’s Mom died.

  67. Xerxes93
    Xerxes93
    October 27, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

    With every day we’re getting closer and closer to the Amazi-Girl/Sal “I hate you but we need to work together to defeat this terrible dude” team-up I’ve always dreamed of.

    I’ve been patiently waiting.

  68. InTheCards
    InTheCards
    October 27, 2015 at 1:18 am | #

    I keep waiting for gender studies professor to appear and assist

  69. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    October 27, 2015 at 1:26 am | #

    “Who you are is a sinner,” says the deranged lawbreaker.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      October 27, 2015 at 4:10 am | #

      I’ve thought for a while that it’s a huge self-identity issue. Basically, if Becky doesn’t fit into his neat pigeon-hole for ‘daughter’, he can’t really keep his mental structure of his life and personal reality standing intact. People who have self-identities that are so weak tend to be more dangerous as even the smallest thing can bloom into an existential crisis.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 27, 2015 at 9:50 am | #

      Pretty sure he was about to say, “We are all sinners”. Which is either an acknowledgement of how far he’s gone over this, or else an expression of the “Nobody’s perfect” or “NO ONE CAN EVER STOP SINNING TRY HARDER AUGH” attitude. Not sure which. Probably the last one. You know. That whole “fear of God” thing.

  70. Palamdrone
    Palamdrone
    October 27, 2015 at 1:33 am | #

    My guess he sees the letter ‘A’ on her costume and assumes the town has branded her an adultress.

    • Rocketboy1313
      Rocketboy1313
      October 27, 2015 at 1:36 am | #

      That’s pretty good.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      October 27, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

      She’d need to be wearing a red ‘A’.

      • DSL
        DSL
        October 27, 2015 at 7:19 am | #

        Ross ain’t one for details.

    • David
      David
      October 27, 2015 at 1:15 pm | #

      Ah, so she’s been pulling a condom from her pouch in order to frighten Ross.

  71. anatman
    anatman
    October 27, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

    he’s walked all over any decent concept of dad. “toedad” is no longer a suitable monicker. we need a replacement. i suggest toefungus.

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      October 27, 2015 at 9:59 am | #

      But fungi look significantly better than toedad does.

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        October 27, 2015 at 5:09 pm | #

        Taste better too.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      October 27, 2015 at 3:37 pm | #

      How about Bent Staple?

    • SDGlyph
      SDGlyph
      October 27, 2015 at 4:34 pm | #

      ToeBad? Stubby? gRoss? Fundiepants? Arseface McShitstain?

      • Cephalo the Pod
        Cephalo the Pod
        October 28, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        I like ToeBad.

  72. Pl0x
    Pl0x
    October 27, 2015 at 2:12 am | #

    Fuck you toedad. My hair is not for you to constrict in your narrowly limited definitions of gender expressions.

  73. Karen Lynn
    Karen Lynn
    October 27, 2015 at 2:56 am | #

    A quick deceleration will solve all your vigilante needs! Wait for the sound of the impact to rapidly accelerate an additional ten miles an hour, and just like the second coming of Christ, no more vigilante. Call in the next ten minutes and get the free gift! The best selling book “Everything you didn’t know you didn’t know”.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 27, 2015 at 9:51 am | #

      Damn, every time you post something I think it’s me for a sec. Heh.

      • Karen Lynn
        Karen Lynn
        October 27, 2015 at 11:57 am | #

        Preposterous! You aren’t nearly as acidic and intentionally confrontational.

        • Dragon_Nataku
          Dragon_Nataku
          October 27, 2015 at 2:00 pm | #

          And then my brain decided to picture you as a grumpy, aggressive acid golem.

          • Karen Lynn
            Karen Lynn
            October 28, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

            I’m working on the avvie now.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          October 27, 2015 at 10:02 pm | #

          Naw, I’m more passive-aggressive and accidentally confrontational. 😀

  74. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    October 27, 2015 at 3:04 am | #

    Oh, so much to note.

    I mean, so many badass points for trying her ever-loving best to distract Toedad, even though engaging that asshole only means more emotional abuse and involves putting herself in a really dangerous situation. She’s incredibly strong and it’s so sad to see how much these events are just testing that strength to its breaking point.

    Also Panel 5. She’s still defiant. Even beaten, broken, defeated, she still refuses to be meek about it and is willing to stand up for herself and who she is. Her dad has rejected everything real about her and threatened her life, but she still advocates for herself and reasons with him as a person…

    And that’s painfully familiar for me. Literally begging a family member to just see who I am to accept that and let me do the hard work of educating them and helping them grow. Hoping that somehow beyond the painful reality, that there is some sliver of genuine familial love that would poke its head out at some point. Sadly, much like Becky, it didn’t work out.

    Others have already noted Panel 4 and the whole thing in his circles where queerness is a sign of failed gender roles more than an actual orientation, so I’ll leave it there.

    And panel 2 and 3. She’s so genuinely hurt there, not because she doesn’t know he’s an asshole, but rather because it shows just how little he regards her and her experiences as even really real. The fact that he stole her from people who love her and the hope for a full sustainable life where she could be happy, threatening and hurting everyone she loved, and to him, it’s as inconsequential as swatting away a few demons in a video game. All her internal suffering, the full horror of what he is doing to her. In his head, nope, it’s all about getting his property back, proving his mettle as “man of the house”, and beginning her rehabilitation from her “gender confusion” (I know that isn’t actually what is happening in boring old reality, but it’s all Toedad sees).

    And that’s rough to experience first hand. To really have someone who claimed to love you unconditionally not even regard your life experiences as something worth acknowledging or respecting is… rough. And it hurts, even if you’ve braced yourself emotionally…

    I know I tend to drift into TMI a lot in the Becky sections, but it is really profound to me how much sections like this feel healing to what I’ve experienced. So yeah, thank you Willis.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      October 27, 2015 at 4:42 am | #

      I’m more and more impressed by Becky for every strip. She is strong and defiant and doesn’t loose herself even in the face of the asshole who pretends to be her father.

      That last attempt to reach out is heart wrenching, because you know that she WOULD accept just a tiny bit less abusive father in her life, if he just allowed her. But no, he can’t even give her that, he can’t stop short to guns and correction camps and kidnapping, even for the sake of his daughter.

      I’m continuously awed by your analysis and experience, and I’m happy that you share that with us and that this emotional roller coaster Willis is taking us on helps you dealing with those experiences.

  75. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 27, 2015 at 3:09 am | #

    I think that the thing most of note here is that Ross doesn’t really see Becky as a distinct individual, only as an extension of his own personal identity – a possession that he calls ‘my daughter’, who must look in a certain way and act in a certain way. That’s a bad sign. I have a feeling we’re starting to see the same psychology that leads fathers to murder their children rather than hand them over to their wives after losing a custody hearing.

    Meanwhile, why is Amazi-Girl so shocked? Maybe she’s seen Sal and Joyce coming the other way on a chicken run?

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      October 27, 2015 at 3:13 am | #

      She has seen Toedad seeing her, which can’t make things easier.

      • Regina Phalange
        Regina Phalange
        October 27, 2015 at 4:16 am | #

        I find it seriously unlikely that her eyesight is that good

        • SDGlyph
          SDGlyph
          October 27, 2015 at 9:34 am | #

          She’s looking directly at the ‘camera’, which is clearly the mirror, so I’d say it’s a safe bet.

          As to eyesight, I can generally see the eyes of the person driving the car in front in slow traffic; I don’t think it’s much of a stretch.

          • Mr. Morningstar
            Mr. Morningstar
            October 27, 2015 at 12:16 pm | #

            Given that she needs glasses most of the time I don’t think she’d be able to tell.

            • SDGlyph
              SDGlyph
              October 27, 2015 at 12:25 pm | #

              She’s never ever worn glasses as Amazi-Girl. I assume contacts and/or non-prescription lenses. (Maybe she learned secret identity-ing from Clark Kent?)

    • MindLink
      MindLink
      October 27, 2015 at 7:55 am | #

      Or a traffic jam, which Toedad failed to notice, since he was distracted by Becky trying to get him from noticing Amazi-Girl, but which Amazi-Girl would definitively see.

    • Guairdean Beatha
      Guairdean Beatha
      October 27, 2015 at 9:25 am | #

      AG is shocked for one simple reason. She’s made eye contact with Fundie and found herself looking into the abyss. As we all know, when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks into you. She also knows, as Shakespeare said, that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and can feel the blackness and hatred devouring the soul that’s looking back at her. Or, it could be that she’s just shocked, and more than a little afraid, now that she’s been discovered.

      • Willoughby Chase
        Willoughby Chase
        October 27, 2015 at 9:55 am | #

        Also, he might break/speed up …

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 9:26 am | #

      Very much this.

      And he’s very much shown to default to violence and threats when he doesn’t get his way. I can’t even imagine what he would have done in an alternative universe where Becky’s mom tried to leave or divorce him (not that she likely would. That culture views divorce very negatively and as the responsibility of the woman to prevent. In fact, often times, even if the woman is being abused or the children are being beaten or raped, the woman is often encouraged to turn a blind eye and “do the work” to save the marriage by not just the husband and the culture, but by the pastor as well.).

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        October 27, 2015 at 9:54 am | #

        That reminds me of something he said, about how he couldn’t save her Mom, but he can save her. And now I’m wondering exactly what the circumstances of her Mom’s death were, and if he had a hand in it… D:

      • Marie
        Marie
        October 27, 2015 at 7:29 pm | #

        Or one where Willis hadn’t promised zero death

  76. AGV
    AGV
    October 27, 2015 at 3:57 am | #

    Christianism is like maths
    All have studied the theory at some point, but when it’s time to aply it everyone screws it

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      October 27, 2015 at 9:46 am | #

      More like the Marvel Universe. Jesus has 5 origin stories and a lot of extra-canonical texts. You can believe just about anything and call yourself a Christian.

    • Guairdean Beatha
      Guairdean Beatha
      October 27, 2015 at 10:19 am | #

      This is the best description I’ve found. “Think of it like a movie. The Torah is the first one, and the New Testament is the sequel. Then the Qu’ran comes out, and it retcons the last one like it never happened. There’s still Jesus, but he’s not the main character anymore, and the messiah hasn’t shown up yet. Jews like the first movie, but ignored the sequels, Christians think you need to watch the first two, but the third one doesn’t count, Muslims think the third one was the best, and Mormons liked the second one so much they retconned the whole thing and started writing fanfiction that doesn’t fit with ANY of the series canon.”

      • MindLink
        MindLink
        October 27, 2015 at 1:48 pm | #

        The book of Mormon is sort of like a prequel as well, akin to the Star Wars prequels maybe ? There’s a cool scene in the beginning, where one of the lost tribes of Israel gets schematics from God to build submarines in order to cross the Atlantic to go to America and become Indians. Really! I even think they describe periscopes, and this was written before Jules Verne.

        • MindLink
          MindLink
          October 27, 2015 at 4:52 pm | #

          I meant Native Americans, of course, keep forgetting, since they’re still called “Indians” in Norwegian.

      • SDGlyph
        SDGlyph
        October 27, 2015 at 4:28 pm | #

        I do love that one.

  77. Marie
    Marie
    October 27, 2015 at 4:20 am | #

    I don’t think she will, but I hope she keeps arguing with him like she hasn’t seen Amazigirl and also distracts him with it. Especially because ‘we’re all sinners’ sounds likes a great time to be like ‘well maybe you with the threatening and kidnapping more than me, assface’

  78. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    October 27, 2015 at 4:22 am | #

    There are two outcomes to this:
    1. Toedad jams on the brakes and causes Amber to collide with the car. We then see him looking back as he attempts to reverse over her, with Becky struggling with him before Sal and Joyce arrive.
    2. Toedad swerves off the road in an attempt to shake Amber off, and crashes into a tree. The hospital scene later on is for Becky, who is injured from the crash

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      October 27, 2015 at 9:49 am | #

      Third outcome. Sal and Joyce arrive now. No point of having them on their way if they aren’t arriving in time to affect events. They can save the day. Sal can save AG and Joyce can save Becky. Toedad heads to the hospital after the car crash. Police will come to take him away and we never see him again.

      • CianM1301
        CianM1301
        October 27, 2015 at 10:46 am | #

        Why would they come to visit Toedad in the hospital? I’m pretty sure Becky wants nothing more to do with him at this point, or at least won’t after this. Something’s going to happen to one of the main cast for there to be a hospital scene, be it Amber, Becky, or the duo on the motorcycle.

        • BenRG
          BenRG
          October 27, 2015 at 1:34 pm | #

          The most likely explanation is that Becky is hurt too; I can’t see Ross stopping unless the car is disabled or forced to crash in some way. Either way, Becky is going to need a neck-brace and Ross may be on life support until they finish fixing the damage from hitting the steering wheel at 30mph.

          • CianM1301
            CianM1301
            October 27, 2015 at 7:56 pm | #

            Considering he’s not wearing a seatbelt, I’d say that’s a fairly likely outcome. At most, Becky would probably suffer from some bad whiplash from the impact, while Ross would be leaving a toe-shaped imprint in the window.

  79. Liliet
    Liliet
    October 27, 2015 at 4:31 am | #

    Was he about to say “We are ALL sinners”?…

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      October 27, 2015 at 11:18 am | #

      Probably.  “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
      ……Romans 3:23 (KJV)

  80. Bagge
    Bagge
    October 27, 2015 at 4:35 am | #

    Yeah, Ross, let’s talk about this one. You have kidnapped your daughter at gunpoint, taken her away from the life she tried to build, waved a gun at her best friend (you know, the daughter of your neighbours) and denied any say she might have about how to live her life, who to love or what to do with herself. Now after a few moments of sullen silence she turns to you and ask you to open up. Do you…

    a) Tell her that all that is done is for a good cause? Say something about her immportal soul, the dangers of sin, tell her that the hell you inflict upon her now is temporal to save her from the eternal one?
    b) Tell her that you actually love her and that all that you do is because you care for her?
    c) Reassure her that her friends will be OK, that you didn’t hurt her girlfriend, that Joyce parents will take care of her, that you ACTUALLY never meant to hurt anyone despite the gun?

    If you had answered any of those things I would utterly despise you because of the sheer hipocricy and idiocity in those statements, but you went with

    d) A cold, unyielding statement that you will take away yet something else from Becky – one of the last things of her, in fact – that you will inflict another layer of control and that there is NOTHING she can do about it.

    FUCK YOU ROSS YOU FUCKING FUCK… no, do you know what, I’m actually not that angry about this one because it tells Becky something ver important. You are still afraid of her. You are still afraid that you can’t control her. You are afraid that she will slip out of your grip yet again. The last time she did it took her ONE weekend to get a haircut and a girlfriend and friends and learn about evolution and start applying for jobs and to get a life and you had to bring a fucking GUN TO A SCHOOL to get her back, and now you are afraid that if you slip even for a moment, despite your gun and your church and your strength and your car and your money and your parental authorothy, you will never get her back again.

    TELL YOU FUCKING WHAT, ROSS? YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU ARE DAMNED RIGHT TO BE AFRAID OF LOOSING BECKY FOR GOOD BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAVE.And if you don’t understand what you see in the mirror, there is a fellow turd in a nearby hospital who could tell you about it. It’s the sight of YOU LOOSING.

    Points for trying, Becky. Both for trying to distract him and for trying to reach out to him. Sorry about him being to much of a shit for it to work though. And wow… panel 5 Becky is AWESOME. You go Becky. Get mad.This shit has not treated you anything even close to how a parent treats a child and you have NO reason whatsoever to reagard him as a father any longer.

    Just to make it clear, Ross.YOU HAD A DAUGHTER.EVEN NOW YOU HAD THE CHANCE TO HAVE A DAUGHTER INSTEAD OF A KIDNAPPING VICTIM. Your daughter was fun and loud and rad and cool and could have introduced you to her adorable girlfriend and shown you around campus and babbled about dinosaurs and you could have been there to share that joy with her IF YOU HAD NOT BEEN THAT BIG OF A PIECE OF SHIT.

    FUDGE YOU ROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      October 27, 2015 at 5:41 am | #

      And the thing is, it’s still not a fact he’s lost her. If somehow the situation turns around – he gets arrested, he lands in a hospital – and he doesn’t have power over her, so she doesn’t have to run to retain basic autonomy…

      She’ll take care of him.

      It’s plainly obvious that despite everything, Becky still thinks of him as her dad, someone she loves, someone who’s a member of her family.

      If there’s any turn of tide from “I NEED to run”, he still will have another chance…

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        October 27, 2015 at 6:08 am | #

        True, and I can’t even fault Becky for it. But Ross is doing his uttermost to convince her that he will never STOP being a threat.

        …it’s almost as if this is more about him staying in control than anything that has to do with Becky…

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          October 27, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

          Indeed on everything in the chain above.

          And the thing is that he won’t ever stop being a threat to her. Even if he is locked up forever and ever, he’s going to leave his impact in her life, the anxiety of his parole, the memory of all those closest to her being put in danger, the pain of having one’s family reject her so strongly. And a spiking anxiety any time it looks like he’s about to be paroled.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        October 27, 2015 at 9:41 am | #

        Yeah, this is also why Ethan’s mom is so awful. Unlike Toedad, she still feigns love and care for him, but just the bare minimum before drowning him in bigotry and a complete lack of real care and support for the child he is. And so he’s less likely to make a complete break because there’s just enough of a sliver for the “but she’s my mom” programming to kick in and make him be willing to just accept the emotional abuse as the price of interaction.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      October 27, 2015 at 4:00 pm | #

      …*Plays “NGAHHH!!” from the Undertale OST Starting at “FUCK YOU ROSS YOU FUCKING FUCK…”*.

  81. mat
    mat
    October 27, 2015 at 6:15 am | #

    I’m just waiting for toedad (ross) to be hawled away in hand cuffs.

    kidnapping, illegal discharge of a firearm, public endangerment with a firearm. And his daughter is right… hey ross, if you would have just accepted her for who she is, you wouldn’t be facing jail time right now.

    if society would just accept people for who they are, no more discrimination, etc.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      October 27, 2015 at 10:02 am | #

      The issue is that we still need to draw lines between what is acceptable (say, being non-hereronormative), and what is not (say, pedophilia). And as soon as you have those lines there, there will be arguments about exactly where they should be drawn.

      I myself think the most rational place to draw the line is on this side of “Is everyone involved a consenting adult? Then fuck off,” but there are others who get really upset about what configuration of genitalia goes where on whom. Personally, I think obsessing that hard over someone else’s genitals is pretty weird, but there you go.

      • SDGlyph
        SDGlyph
        October 27, 2015 at 12:08 pm | #

        For interest: I found Libby Anne’s Tale of Two Boxes to be very useful in understanding and explaining the way conservatives think on this one. I’m likewise inclined to side-eye conservatives’ obsession with Other People’s Genitals…

        (I’m in the ‘progressive’ camp, obvs, and would prefer the conservative boxes to be labelled “what they think God forbids/allows” – I don’t really think God cares a flying fig which genitalia are involved as long as respect and consent are – but some nuance is lost for the sake of brevity.)

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          October 27, 2015 at 10:04 pm | #

          Yeah, I’ve never understood “My religion forbids this so therefore you can’t do it.” Well, okay, if it’s my religion too; but if it’s not, then bug off. You know?

  82. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 27, 2015 at 6:52 am | #

    I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again. I’m convinced that Ross is of fairly low intelligence, in terms of average people. So low intelligence that he has a difficult time properly and accurately assessing the consequences of his words and actions. This is worrying because it is entirely possible that he will do something stupid, illegal and maybe even dangerous without really having considered the consequences.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      October 27, 2015 at 8:15 am | #

      Damnit Becky, never interrupt an enemy while he’s making a mistake. Also, don’t discount AG yet. Just because she’s been rattled, doesn’t mean she’s lost.

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        October 27, 2015 at 8:15 am | #

        Why in blazes is this attached to someone else’s comment. Fucccck.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      October 27, 2015 at 4:05 pm | #

      “It is entirely possible that he will do something stupid, illegal and maybe even dangerous without really having considered the consequences.”

      …implying that he already hasn’t?

  83. Kryss LaBryn
    Kryss LaBryn
    October 27, 2015 at 6:59 am | #

    Fuck you. Ross, now you’re making me regret my long hair. My past-my-hips hair I’ve spent decades growing out.

    You know what, Ross? It used to be a buzz-cut. Down to a quarter of an inch. And that was fine. Fuck you and your “womanhood”.

    See, this is why even being female sometimes annoys the crap out of me. Fuck what my gender is. Who cares? It has almost nothing to do with who I am. The me inside doesn’t have one clearly-defined gender and that is just perfectly fine, thanks; I just really like having long hair. Also I got really tired of stylists fucking it up. Like, every single time, man.

  84. saki
    saki
    October 27, 2015 at 7:43 am | #

    Oh boy.

  85. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    October 27, 2015 at 7:59 am | #

    Just stepped back into the “fuck this” zone.

  86. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 27, 2015 at 8:04 am | #

    Okay, so my prediction: Amber is panicking because she’s seen Sal’s bike coming the other way on a collision course. Ross dodges instinctively, goes into a tree and is injured because he isn’t wearing his seatbelt.

    Sal and Amber get into a stupid fight over whose fault is the crash. Joyce basically smacks them both upside the head (verbally or otherwise) for talking about trivia and gets their help to drag Becky and Ross out of the car-concertina.

    Cut to the ER where Becky and Ross (the latter in much worse shape) are being treated. Sal and Amazi-Girl are shooting daggers from each other’s eyes and Joyce is too focussed on helping Becky to act as umpire. They agree that the time has come to ‘settle matters’ between them.

    NEXT STRIP… Is Billie waking up in Ruth’s arms. We then have to wait a month or so, possibly longer (because it looks like we’re going to be following Joyce on a trip to the ol’ homestead after Ruth and Billie), to find out what if anything was the outcome between Sal and Amber.

    • Lamia
      Lamia
      October 27, 2015 at 10:52 am | #

      Oh geez, I hadn’t even contemplated the possibility that there might be a scene change before this arc’s conclusion /o\

      • Rheinman137
        Rheinman137
        October 27, 2015 at 11:59 am | #

        Yeah, we will interrupt this story for a week of Walky angsting over his grades while not being ready to commit to actual studying.

        • 3oranges
          3oranges
          October 27, 2015 at 1:04 pm | #

          Just when it looks like someone here is about to be seriously injured, we can cut to wacky hijinks where Joe behaves inappropriately around the nurses while in the hospital for a wisdom tooth removal.

  87. Guest2015
    Guest2015
    October 27, 2015 at 8:17 am | #

    Amber will be to Dumbing of Age as Ruth is to Roomies?

  88. Sigurther
    Sigurther
    October 27, 2015 at 8:32 am | #

    dude has really drunk the kool-ade.

  89. Commodore Jeep-Eep
    Commodore Jeep-Eep
    October 27, 2015 at 9:10 am | #

    It’s on folks.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju75EcdcpbM

  90. perlhaqr
    perlhaqr
    October 27, 2015 at 9:32 am | #

    “Plus”, Toe-dad continued, “that thing your eyes and eyebrows do with sitting on top of your bangs is really freaky.”

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      October 27, 2015 at 9:42 am | #

      More proof of foul demonic magicks.

  91. GenericGuestName
    GenericGuestName
    October 27, 2015 at 10:19 am | #

    Damn Toedad and his good driving skills! Damn him to the blood soaked Protestant hell that he’s so afraid of!

  92. Toes14
    Toes14
    October 27, 2015 at 10:22 am | #

    Becky, just reach over and scratch his eyes, then pull the parking brake to slow the car. He can’t drive, defend himself, and shoot you all at the same time. Plus that’ll give AG, Sal & Joyce, and the inept cops time to all catch up.

    • Will
      Will
      October 27, 2015 at 11:25 am | #

      I don’t think Becky is still ready to physically assault her own father, even after everything he has done.

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        October 27, 2015 at 5:40 pm | #

        Unless he levels a firearm at someone.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      October 27, 2015 at 5:06 pm | #

      Or, maybe, grab the gun and then bail out of the car.

  93. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    October 27, 2015 at 10:48 am | #

    We’re all sinners, Toedad. But some of us are going to the special hell.

  94. Myrr Disparo
    Myrr Disparo
    October 27, 2015 at 11:16 am | #

    Well, that explains why Amber nor Amazigirl are in the “Who do you want to see more of? 2015 Edition!” poll. Either we won’t be seeing her much, or her being in the poll would take a lot of dramatic tension out of the comics. I’m leaning towards the latter, but, who knows? Could be the former

  95. Leon
    Leon
    October 27, 2015 at 11:25 am | #

    NO SYMPATHY!!!
    Absolutely no sympathy at all for this retrograded piece of shit! He should die in agony!

  96. smooti
    smooti
    October 27, 2015 at 11:28 am | #

    Having known a lot of families that genuinely believe the whole “women must have long hair” thing, I’m actually surprised Becky was allowed to have it as short as it was at the beginning of the comic. Maybe the bob was an early sign of “rebellion” to come.

  97. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 27, 2015 at 11:54 am | #

    I’m actually starting to wonder if the Browns and everyone else in their congregation think of Ross as ‘That crazy fundie guy’. Basically, even by their standards, he’s way out there!

    • Marie
      Marie
      October 27, 2015 at 6:33 pm | #

      I feel like they might now, but I don’t find it unlikely that before recently, he was just another one of them. I mean, Joyce’s family were pretty freaked out about Dorothy, so even his initial reaction about Becky probably wasn’t that out-of-line (and was, in ways, shared by Joyce, since she initially (briefly) wanted to de-sin Becky iirc)

  98. Guairdean Beatha
    Guairdean Beatha
    October 27, 2015 at 12:00 pm | #

    There have been a lot of comments about how Fundie should either die, or be arrested and sent to prison. I kind of hope he escapes. Without taking Becky, of course. Once he gets away, his fundie friends can smuggle him out of the country to do a lifetime of missionary work in some foreign country. That will save Becky either the trauma of his death, or the need to make regular visits to a prison to assuage her guilt. She has no reason to feel guilt, but she will anyway. That’s just the way it works. If he’s safe, but out of the country, then their contact can be limited to an occasional letter that she can answer, or burn, as her heart commands.

    • Gwen
      Gwen
      October 27, 2015 at 12:41 pm | #

      Yeah, but then we’re just inflicting him on the inhabitants of that other country. The only people who should be putting up with Ross are prison guards who are paid for the task. And maybe, eventually, if she wants to, Becky.

      • Guairdean Beatha
        Guairdean Beatha
        October 27, 2015 at 1:13 pm | #

        They’ll have no trouble ignoring the ramblings of the big dumb guy hitched to the plow.

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        October 27, 2015 at 3:23 pm | #

        Yeah, we don’t need another scumbag egging on folks like those Ugandan homophobes.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      October 27, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

      That won’t stop him coming back. And unless he’s neutralized in one way or another, he will be back.

      • Guairdean Beatha
        Guairdean Beatha
        October 27, 2015 at 1:21 pm | #

        He’d have to stay gone for 7 years to let the statute of limitations run out. If he came back before that, he could be arrested and charged.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          October 27, 2015 at 2:02 pm | #

          And I am willing to bet he would be back, crazy as ever, on the dot that limit ran out.

          • That guy
            That guy
            October 27, 2015 at 3:53 pm | #

            People can change, my bloodthirsty friend.

            • Commodore Jeep-Eep
              Commodore Jeep-Eep
              October 27, 2015 at 5:13 pm | #

              Given the milleu that filth is likely to gravitate to in any such exile, he’s more likely to have his delusions catered to than challenged.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          October 27, 2015 at 6:53 pm | #

          In Indiana there is no statute of limitations for murder or kidnapping.

          • Commodore Jeep-Eep
            Commodore Jeep-Eep
            October 27, 2015 at 6:57 pm | #

            Good.

    • Smiling Cat
      Smiling Cat
      October 27, 2015 at 9:10 pm | #

      I hold out hope that his friends turn against him after this stunt.

  99. Mr. Morningstar
    Mr. Morningstar
    October 27, 2015 at 12:14 pm | #

    “Huh. Well that is certainly NOT normal.”

  100. segnosaur
    segnosaur
    October 27, 2015 at 12:31 pm | #

    Here’s a question… what does Becky know about Amazi-girl? She has been mentioned in newspapers (and I think more than just in the school paper), but she may not have read any of those papers. And I can’t remember any of the cast talking about her with Becky around.

    Does she know she’s a “super hero” who has been relatively successful in the past? Or is she assuming she’s a nutcase who’s going to be a problem?

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      October 27, 2015 at 12:56 pm | #

      Amazi-girl was mentioned on the list of people Becky was supposed to invite to Joyce’s party. Crossed off, but still seems likely she got a brief explanation.

      • segnosaur
        segnosaur
        October 27, 2015 at 1:14 pm | #

        Thanks. Kinda forgot about that.

  101. Kater
    Kater
    October 27, 2015 at 1:00 pm | #

    This is such a pretty, well done strip. Like this strip in particular and DOA as a whole just: super beautiful and detailed on an artistic level.
    I love the writing, yeah. I think its a great mix of humor and drama with really compelling characters.
    But the art, man! The art is amazing!
    Great job, Willis.

  102. Ashirogi
    Ashirogi
    October 27, 2015 at 1:01 pm | #

    Ummm, isn’t dad looking in the wrong direction to see the rear-view mirror?

    • segnosaur
      segnosaur
      October 27, 2015 at 1:17 pm | #

      In panel 4 it looks like he has his head (slightly) turned towards Becky. If he were leaning towards her at all, it would make sense that he’d see Amazi-girl through the mirror through his left eye.

    • SDGlyph
      SDGlyph
      October 27, 2015 at 1:17 pm | #

      Not in a left-hand-drive car – see Idon’tcarenomore’s comment at 12:58 for detail!

  103. Guairdean Beatha
    Guairdean Beatha
    October 27, 2015 at 1:18 pm | #

    A question for our esteemed artist and story teller. Has any other story arc generated this level of comments for this many days? Speculation has been pretty hot and heavy on this one.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      October 27, 2015 at 1:55 pm | #

      I think Amazi-Girl’s interaction with and eventual beat-down of Blaine drew a lot of interest/participation/speculation as well.  But because it was Parents’ Weekend Willis had a couple other story arcs going on at the same time so there were some cuts back and forth between Amber and Blaine/Joyce and her family/Dina and Faz/etc.  It didn’t exclusively stay on the one plot like this one is.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      October 27, 2015 at 1:58 pm | #

      A handy graph!:

      http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/132000868492/countingelectricsheep-inspired-by-a-sense-that

  104. MutantSentry
    MutantSentry
    October 27, 2015 at 1:25 pm | #

    Escalation in 5…4…3…2…

  105. shazz_smifff
    shazz_smifff
    October 27, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

    https://www.facebook.com/cartoonistpaukinsella/photos/p.567301256704996/567301256704996/?type=3

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      October 27, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

      The problem is not in reading the Bible.  The problem is in how people try to interpret what they read in the Bible.  That’s why man “… is the only animal that has the True Religion — several of them.”
            …..also Mark Twain; essay, “The Lowest Animal”; 1896

    • shazz_smifff
      shazz_smifff
      October 27, 2015 at 1:50 pm | #

      or this one

      https://www.facebook.com/cartoonistpaukinsella/photos/a.321018391333285.56561.321012548000536/429724113796045/?type=3

  106. Chubsius
    Chubsius
    October 27, 2015 at 1:47 pm | #

    First time seeing the whites of his eyes! He must now know true fear.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      October 27, 2015 at 2:22 pm | #

      Or, you know, “WTF” surprise.

      • That guy
        That guy
        October 27, 2015 at 3:51 pm | #

        I’m thinking that’s slightly more likely.

  107. MindLink
    MindLink
    October 27, 2015 at 4:04 pm | #

    Just saw the preview picture for Jan 28, and it says “rest easy”! Any bets that they are peeking behind the door of a hospital room ? And Walky and Dorothy are looking in two different directions in that room….

    • Guairdean Beatha
      Guairdean Beatha
      October 27, 2015 at 5:20 pm | #

      January? Are there three months left in this arc? Oh well, it’s a better title than Rest in Peace, or Rest in Pieces.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        October 27, 2015 at 6:46 pm | #

        Three months. Call it ninety days. We’re covering about 20 seconds per strip. 1,800 seconds. Half an hour.

        Easy.

        • Guairdean Beatha
          Guairdean Beatha
          October 27, 2015 at 7:35 pm | #

          Well, I did remark that I hope the tension lasts.

    • Jason
      Jason
      October 27, 2015 at 6:38 pm | #

      I think “rest easy” was addressed to fans of Dina.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        October 27, 2015 at 6:47 pm | #

        We were starting to get panicky.

      • saki
        saki
        October 27, 2015 at 8:28 pm | #

        That’s what I thought too.

  108. Julie
    Julie
    October 27, 2015 at 4:09 pm | #

    “Must go faster?”

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      October 27, 2015 at 5:04 pm | #

      Becky: “SHIIIIIIT!”

  109. Edupoet81
    Edupoet81
    October 27, 2015 at 5:23 pm | #

    I noticed that after Becky saw evidence that people are still trying to help her, she seemed to rediscover the spirit and fight within her. That would have been encouraging had Toedad not spotted Amazi-Girl almost immediately after. Now, Willis only knows what will happen next, and all the rest of us can do is wait and see.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      October 27, 2015 at 5:50 pm | #

      Yeah. If that is a 911 call she’s tapping out (as Ellen very cogently suggests) then Becky has a better plan for rescuing herself than either of her rescue parties is working on. And she’s doing it.

      Go, Becks!

    • Ellen
      Ellen
      October 27, 2015 at 10:14 pm | #

      I agree with this assessment. 🙂 Spotting Amazi-girl has reminded Becky that all is not lost and mentally freed her to do what she can from where she sits.

  110. Benwhoski
    Benwhoski
    October 27, 2015 at 5:42 pm | #

    So, I just now noticed the “tap tap tap” in the lower left corner of panel 2.

    Somebecky’s trying to get a message out.

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      October 27, 2015 at 7:08 pm | #

      I admit I thought that was to indicate she was tapping herself vs. merely pointing… is she a lefty? I would’ve expected the other way around if she’s not.

      • Ellen
        Ellen
        October 27, 2015 at 10:12 pm | #

        I wondered that too. We know Sal is a lefty, and Dorothy too if I remember right? …but I’m not sure about Becky.

        • CaptainBatson
          CaptainBatson
          October 27, 2015 at 11:24 pm | #

          Joe’s a lefty… I think

  111. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    October 27, 2015 at 6:00 pm | #

    Nice try, Becky.

  112. H3xx
    H3xx
    October 27, 2015 at 7:24 pm | #

    I’m beginning to very much dislike this man… And I’m hoping something both demeaning and crippling happens to him.

  113. MortartarSaws
    MortartarSaws
    October 27, 2015 at 7:57 pm | #

    That ain’t Falco…

  114. Tenn
    Tenn
    October 27, 2015 at 8:03 pm | #

    Look inside
    Look inside your tiny mind
    Now look a bit harder
    ‘Cause we’re so uninspired
    So sick and tired
    Of all the hatred you harbor

    So you say
    It’s not okay to be gay
    Well I think you’re just evil
    You’re just some racist
    Who can’t tie my laces
    Your point of view is medieval

    Fuck you, Ross! Fuck you very, very much!

  115. rhysbalinor
    rhysbalinor
    October 27, 2015 at 8:56 pm | #

    People like Toedad is what is wrong with current mass market religion. The further we get from a source and the more we edit it to make it easy the more that is lost. Zorastrians where a proto-jewdau-christian religion that predated the jews, and had all of the same main pillars shared by Christianity, Judaism, and Islam and in that that faith if the kid damned it self than it was on the kids head and everyone knew it. The parents where not to blame and it was up to the kid to attone or not. Leave people up to their own decisions and consequences.

  116. Jestam
    Jestam
    October 27, 2015 at 11:00 pm | #

    Found Ross McIntyre’s double in the news:

    • Jestam
      Jestam
      October 27, 2015 at 11:00 pm | #

      http://now8news.com/crazed-man-murders-ex-fiance-feeds-her-ground-beef-remains-to-her-parents-at-bbq/

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      October 27, 2015 at 11:02 pm | #

      (now8news is a parody site, so not really “the news”)

      • Jestam
        Jestam
        October 27, 2015 at 11:05 pm | #

        Ok, didn’t know that, but the photo sure looks like your drawing.

      • David
        David
        October 29, 2015 at 5:00 am | #

        Well, apparently a parody of “Titus Andronicus” but there the crazed man murders his stepsons and feeds their ground beef remains to his wife (so formally an ex-fiancee) after stabbing his own daughter (who had been raped and had her tongue and hands cut off previously) for the sake of wordplay.

        Eat your heart out, now8news.

  117. TheNinthShader
    TheNinthShader
    October 28, 2015 at 7:30 am | #

    I apologize for doing the rainbow bullshit, I actually made a post saying that I wanted to delete all of it if I could.

  118. Tamiea
    Tamiea
    October 29, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

    Wow. U actually can see where she dialed 911. I missed that.

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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reposted by David M Willis!
dril.bsky.social's user avatar
wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Stop making the one toy I want the super-expensive chase, Auldey!!!!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
And that's why you have Jesus wear a condom!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's #webcomicday? We have a special day??? Well, my name is Pat McHoarney and I draw 69 Mouse-Ear Blvd, a multigenerational story about women who all have sexy legs and probably other features. There was a grandmother, but she wasn't hot and so she died off-panel.
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bsweet.bsky.social's user avatar
hoanna newsom @bsweet.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
nytimes.com's user avatarThe New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans, sitting closely on a couch. A headline reads:
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chrismcfeely.bsky.social's user avatar
Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
That's the most upsetting LEGO Thing minifig possible
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
LEGO Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four: First Steps Fantastic Four vs. Galactus will release June 1st ($59.99) - bit.ly/3F4uRci #ad
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
what's going on with tariffs right now i dunno, what time is it today
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