Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 8, 2026

Milkshake

by David M Willis on January 31, 2017 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Everything You've Ever Wanted Floats Above
└ Tags: dexter, dorothy, monkey master, walky

Discussion (130) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    January 31, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    they’re like, it’s better than thine

    verily, it’s better than thine

    I could teach you, but I must levy a fee

    • Brotato
      Brotato
      January 31, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

      Honestly, my favorite meme.

    • Gesc
      Gesc
      January 31, 2017 at 12:44 am | #

      I respectfully disagree.

      I hope I got the code right this time…

    • Janine
      Janine
      January 31, 2017 at 1:45 am | #

      Missed opportunity:
      Harken they

    • Arian
      Arian
      January 31, 2017 at 8:24 pm | #

      Love it 🙂

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 31, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    “I could share it…but I’d have to charge.”

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      January 31, 2017 at 12:23 am | #

      Later, in the future, Walky runs a successful business empire based on purchasing, and then sharing for a fee, various milkshakes and other cold sweet treats.

      Dotty: “But how do you even make money off of this?”
      Walky: “Volume, repeat customers, and tons of hidden fees.”
      Dotty: “I never knew you could be so manipulative.”
      Walky: “This isn’t actually a business, I just want to drink a milkshake.”

  3. butts
    butts
    January 31, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    it’s better than yours

    • HunchyBack
      HunchyBack
      January 31, 2017 at 3:12 am | #

      You just couldn’t help your self could you? xD

    • Hellespont
      Hellespont
      January 31, 2017 at 5:58 am | #

      It is pretty amazing, apparently it has its own pocket dimension. Where did he pull that from?

      • Killjoy
        Killjoy
        January 31, 2017 at 9:12 am | #

        The same place Billy keeps her booze. Hammerspace.

        Sal has hammerspace too, I bet… she probably keeps her bike in there.

        • Knuf Wons
          Knuf Wons
          January 31, 2017 at 12:37 pm | #

          I read “hammerspace” as Homestuck. XD And while Homestuck is not a bad place to get booze from, I am fairly certain there are no milkshakes to be had.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 31, 2017 at 12:43 pm | #

        From off the bed post?

      • Yet_One_More_Idiot
        Yet_One_More_Idiot
        January 31, 2017 at 3:15 pm | #

        Same place that Quake II dude Bitterman pulls his rocket launcher and other cool weapons out of, his butt. 😛

        • N0083rP00F
          N0083rP00F
          February 2, 2017 at 10:08 am | #

          He does? Is he a Ranger?

  4. Emperor Daniel
    Emperor Daniel
    January 31, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    DIBS

    • TheAnonymousGuy
      TheAnonymousGuy
      January 31, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

      that’s the face of a sex plan, maybe even another slipshine.

      • Znayx
        Znayx
        January 31, 2017 at 12:59 am | #

        Speaking of slipshine, that banner looks like Dorothy’s… Strap-oning (Strapon-ing? Strap-on-ing?) Walky from behind. Don’t see no milkshakes, but hey. Maybe there are some.

        • Tan
          Tan
          January 31, 2017 at 4:00 am | #

          The term is pegging.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice)

          The More You Know~

          • Killjoy
            Killjoy
            January 31, 2017 at 9:41 am | #

            And now I can never use the phrase “well, she’d got him pegged” ever again.

            Damnit.

            • Hellespont
              Hellespont
              January 31, 2017 at 11:16 am | #

              I, on the other hand, immediately began to use it almost daily. Once I found out the double meaning, that is.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            January 31, 2017 at 3:45 pm | #

            But, what if her name isn’t Peggy?

        • CJ
          CJ
          January 31, 2017 at 2:09 pm | #

          With her glasses on?

          • Schpoonman
            Schpoonman
            January 31, 2017 at 2:31 pm | #

            Don’t kink-shame Dotty.

          • CJ
            CJ
            January 31, 2017 at 4:37 pm | #

            It was more of a practical though – crushed glasses get in the way….

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          January 31, 2017 at 6:50 pm | #

          That may be a mild interpretation of what’s happening. ..Geeze.

    • Commodore Counterintuitive
      Commodore Counterintuitive
      January 31, 2017 at 10:58 pm | #

      This is too many emperors

      You, Norton, and the other one

      And there are only two commodores

      • Emperor Daniel
        Emperor Daniel
        January 31, 2017 at 11:27 pm | #

        We must fight to the sit.

        It is the only way.

  5. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    January 31, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Dotty’s gonna sleep off the drunk-bubbles

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      January 31, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

      Boozles! As named by Berkley Breathed.

  6. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    January 31, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Aw, you two.

  7. miados
    miados
    January 31, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    I’ll get my own milkshake. with blackjack. and hookers. in fact forget the blackjack and hookers.

  8. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    January 31, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    I like to think Walky just has a bunch of milkshakes hidden around the room…but then, they’d melt…

    • carl320
      carl320
      January 31, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

      Unless he like sleeping with the A/C on all the way down.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      January 31, 2017 at 12:25 am | #

      I wouldn’t put it past him to keep a minifridge with the temperature fine-tuned for optimal milkshake preservation in there.

      • Mr. Mendo
        Mr. Mendo
        January 31, 2017 at 12:34 am | #

        But that would be too cold for leftover Taco Bell!

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          January 31, 2017 at 12:47 am | #

          Or Chicken Mcnuggets.

          • Kraeniel
            Kraeniel
            January 31, 2017 at 1:35 am | #

            That would imply that there’s leftovers

          • John
            John
            January 31, 2017 at 1:37 am | #

            You think Walky has leftover Taco Bell or McNuggets?

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            January 31, 2017 at 2:01 pm | #

            Dude, Mcnuggets taste way better cold. What’re you talking about? 😛

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 31, 2017 at 2:58 am | #

          That’s why you get mini-fridges, so you have room to keep several at various temperatures for optimal junk food variety.

        • Flakky
          Flakky
          January 31, 2017 at 6:14 am | #

          Milkshake mondays, tacobell tuesdays. Walky has a plan, I’m sure.

          • Arawn
            Arawn
            January 31, 2017 at 8:58 pm | #

            Won Ton Wednesdays, Turkey Thursdays, Fried days… Sunny Side UP-day… Saturday is a tragedy because of what was lost in the back pocket. RIP.

          • John
            John
            January 31, 2017 at 11:46 pm | #

            It’s Tuesday.

            Day-old milkshakes are just milk.

  9. achallenger
    achallenger
    January 31, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    reminds me of me, former partners, allow me to issue an apology

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      January 31, 2017 at 3:47 pm | #

      Your milkshake wasn’t that good?

  10. Nono
    Nono
    January 31, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    Sometimes you don’t need everybody to love you, you just need that one.

  11. Just Me
    Just Me
    January 31, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Nothing like sleeping it off on Head Alien Bedsheets next to a guy who thinks more about his milkshake then his girlfriend.

    No wonder she’s smiling.

  12. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    January 31, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    I see Walky like quoting songs from very early in his childhood–

  13. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 31, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Awwwwww, cuuuuuuuuuute! <3

    I'll have longer analysis after this stupid midterm on Wednesday but until then cuuuuuuuuuuuute! <3

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      January 31, 2017 at 12:27 am | #

      Eh, I dunno. That was a pretty comprehensible analysis.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 31, 2017 at 10:34 am | #

        Comprehensible, but not comprehensive. I’m sure I’ll find something to navel gaze at. 😛

    • Andy
      Andy
      January 31, 2017 at 5:13 pm | #

      Good luck!

  14. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    January 31, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    I’m more of a thick-shake lover myself.

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      January 31, 2017 at 12:40 am | #

      Every time I hear “thick shakes”, I remember that commercial for the Allen Thick show.

  15. Renshear Blade
    Renshear Blade
    January 31, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Psyche! it’s really a slushie!

  16. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    January 31, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    Walky knew she needed some goofiness. I hope he tells her about his grade stuff, just since she seems like she could stand to feel needed for a bit.

    • Mav
      Mav
      January 31, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

      I hope Walky tells her too, but I could see Dorothy feeling even worse if he tells her that he didn’t want to say anything for fear she might judge him for not being as capable as she is (as irrational as that seems on the surface, since we know Dorothy genuinely likes Walky), which goes back to Billie’s “you’re too perfect to be relatable theory”

  17. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    January 31, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    So either that milkshake is melted or empty. There’s no middle ground for a smoothie lying next to you in college.

  18. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    January 31, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    Walky’s shown signs of learning how to flirt with Dorothy.

    Is there any indication he’s tried that when in high school? Beyond maybe throwing toys at someone?

    • Nono
      Nono
      January 31, 2017 at 12:16 am | #

      Hey, he’s had a 100% success rate so far.

  19. Mav
    Mav
    January 31, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

    Now I’m thinking of that crepe and milkshake place I’ve wanted to visit for a while.

    • kirisu
      kirisu
      January 31, 2017 at 3:14 am | #

      You visit that place damn you. You’re amazing and I believe you can visit there, you go there and order a crepe, and order a milkshake, order anything you want, just visit it. Do what you want.

    • Tan
      Tan
      January 31, 2017 at 5:30 am | #

      Please go and then come back and tell us all about it in order that we may live vicariously through you.

    • CJ
      CJ
      January 31, 2017 at 2:15 pm | #

      just do it now

    • HeySo
      HeySo
      January 31, 2017 at 6:51 pm | #

      You’ve got a crepes and milkshake place nearby and you haven’t visited it? I don’t understand…

  20. Keulan
    Keulan
    January 31, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    These two are still adorkable together.

  21. Some1
    Some1
    January 31, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    I’m considering doing a spiritual sequel to Questing of Age, but instead of being DBZ it would be film noir.

    With Joyce as a private eye.

    • Some1
      Some1
      January 31, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

      Well I fucked up my email

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        January 31, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

        Now we know your true form!

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          January 31, 2017 at 12:28 am | #

          I will set the mages to work devising a binding ritual at once!

    • Makkabee
      Makkabee
      January 31, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

      Dooo eeeet!!!!!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      January 31, 2017 at 12:26 am | #

      That would be awesome!

  22. Falcon
    Falcon
    January 31, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

    You know, Walky’s a natural in a way that’s totally different from Roz, and in a way Dorothy is really into. Maybe he’ll be able to help her find the answers to the problems she can’t think and organize her way out of. And then they’ll become the weirdest power couple ever.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      January 31, 2017 at 3:39 pm | #

      That would require Walky being capable of having a conversation that’s not about bowel movements.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 31, 2017 at 4:44 pm | #

        He is capable. He’s not fond of it, but he has done it.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          January 31, 2017 at 4:56 pm | #

          If he has to try that hard then he pretty clearly isn’t capable.

  23. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    January 31, 2017 at 12:23 am | #

    That look on Dorothy’s face in the last panel ….
    “No matter how messed up my world is, Walky, I can always count on you to be you.”

  24. Falcon
    Falcon
    January 31, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

    Also, I love how Walky says Dorothy can’t have any milkshake…when he’s brought two straws and is only using one.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      January 31, 2017 at 12:28 am | #

      Obviously he needs two straws because in doubling the total cross-sectional area of straw he can halve the effective force applied to the drink and artificially extend its duration.

      Fractactical. Genius.

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      January 31, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

      One straw, one spoon.

  25. Bagge
    Bagge
    January 31, 2017 at 12:25 am | #

    Walky detect dangerous levels of FEELS so he wacks it up.

    Dorothy loves him for it.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      January 31, 2017 at 7:30 am | #

      ITYM ‘Walks it up’.

  26. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    January 31, 2017 at 12:26 am | #

    Walky has had that milkshake in his bed all day just waiting for Dorothy to come into his room so he could make that pun. He is a fractactical genius.

  27. Gesc
    Gesc
    January 31, 2017 at 12:40 am | #

    Wh- I say what is going on that banner??

    And nice save, Walkerton.

    • Daniel Rodriguez
      Daniel Rodriguez
      January 31, 2017 at 1:16 am | #

      Dorothy pegging Walky?

    • Hellespont
      Hellespont
      January 31, 2017 at 11:21 am | #

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monsieur_Mallah#/media/File%3ABrainmallah.png

  28. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    January 31, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

    …. I sense new merch coming our way.

    • EvilMidnightLurker
      EvilMidnightLurker
      January 31, 2017 at 4:09 am | #

      I’d buy those bedsheets.

  29. StClair
    StClair
    January 31, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

    “Oh, Walky. Dear, simple Walky.”

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      January 31, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

      hope this doesn’t end like when it was said to Jason last time.

  30. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    January 31, 2017 at 12:55 am | #

    Hey Bagge, so what do you think of Austen’s parents in Always humans?

    Someone in the discord chat suggested they should be called The Doofdads. Would you agree?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      January 31, 2017 at 6:48 pm | #

      Doofdads! I start to see where Yasel gets it from.

  31. Tawdry Quirks
    Tawdry Quirks
    January 31, 2017 at 1:34 am | #

    I guess Walky has the milkshake equivalent of hammerspace. I wouldn’t mind having milkshakespace powers, although my waistline probably would.

  32. BenRG
    BenRG
    January 31, 2017 at 2:17 am | #

    Something tells me that, right now, Dorothy needs Walky to be… well… Walky. That’s all she needs to feel better.

    Meanwhile, I really think that Walky should think about giving her a hug; I really think that she needs one right now.

    • HunchyBack
      HunchyBack
      January 31, 2017 at 3:19 am | #

      Milkshake first, hug later.

      Dotty will still be sad later, but the milkshake will not be cold later.

      My logic is absolute!

  33. Qir
    Qir
    January 31, 2017 at 2:25 am | #

    I thought they were Steven Universe Homeworld flying pod thingies on the bed sheets.

  34. IKneedYou
    IKneedYou
    January 31, 2017 at 3:15 am | #

    I admire Dorothy’s stamina. I am weak, if I got drunk that early in the day, it means nap time. Immediately.

    Studying/being productive at all = completely impossible.

  35. GaoShiki
    GaoShiki
    January 31, 2017 at 3:57 am | #

    Goddamn, Walky, eating in bed? Gross.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      January 31, 2017 at 7:32 am | #

      ?? DUDE.

      You don’t EAT a milkshake!

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 31, 2017 at 10:32 am | #

        Not with that attitude!

        • JBento
          JBento
          January 31, 2017 at 11:18 am | #

          Good luck for the midterm.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            January 31, 2017 at 2:06 pm | #

            Aw, thank you! <3

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        January 31, 2017 at 6:45 pm | #

        You sure? The good ones give you spoons…

  36. EvilMidnightLurker
    EvilMidnightLurker
    January 31, 2017 at 4:10 am | #

    …that slipshine preview looks like a horrific life-threatening accident is happening during an attempted exotic sexual position.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      January 31, 2017 at 4:45 am | #

      From what I can see I assumed that Walky and Dorothy are trying out “pegging” for the first time.

      • OnyxIdol
        OnyxIdol
        January 31, 2017 at 7:08 am | #

        Yeah, that’s what I thought as well.

    • Trolldrool
      Trolldrool
      January 31, 2017 at 4:50 am | #

      Kind of like the BioWare sex scenes. A horrible game of naked twister gone horribly wrong.

  37. gkheyf
    gkheyf
    January 31, 2017 at 6:13 am | #

    Nothing is just a figure of speech with you, is it? -__-

    • JBento
      JBento
      January 31, 2017 at 11:19 am | #

      There’s two figures speaking, here. Why would you have a figure speaking all by itself? That way lies madness! I should know.

  38. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    January 31, 2017 at 7:21 am | #

    I’d share it, but I’d…

    NUH-UH IT’S AAAAAAALL MINE

    *SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*

    gggggghhhhh BRAIN FREEEEEEZE

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      January 31, 2017 at 7:33 am | #

      And Willis? They’re ‘Dexter’ bedsheets.

      You named him. Stick with it.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 31, 2017 at 12:21 pm | #

        Dexter, the Head Alien.

        Either is correct. 😛

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          January 31, 2017 at 11:49 pm | #

          Only when HA isn’t depicted as right-clawed.

  39. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    January 31, 2017 at 7:25 am | #

    My first thought was her wire-frame glasses would be bent laying her head against the pillow like that without taking them off. Second thought was this is the first time she and Walky make out while she is drunk.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      January 31, 2017 at 11:47 am | #

      I’m sure they didn’t make it through frozen without at least one kiss.

      • Emperor Norton
        Emperor Norton
        January 31, 2017 at 7:59 pm | #

        Pretty sure that Dorothy would reckognise the painting “The Swing” -and- know what it’s really about* as it showed up in the movie. This would remind her her own moments of “being on a swing” with Walky. Resisting to kiss him would be impossible.

        *Very short version, it’s about a woman reaching her climax during sex. That’s Disney for you, always putting in dirty stuff like that.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          February 1, 2017 at 12:35 am | #

          The hat symbolizes a penis.

          It’s a very subtle painting.

  40. brasca1
    brasca1
    January 31, 2017 at 7:42 am | #

    Billie drinks some pretty powerful stuff if Dorothy is still buzzed after everywhere she’s been.

  41. Schol-R-LEA
    Schol-R-LEA
    January 31, 2017 at 10:27 am | #

    But does it bring the room together?

  42. calvsie
    calvsie
    January 31, 2017 at 2:15 pm | #

    Head alien head bed-sheets no less

  43. Thursday Violist
    Thursday Violist
    January 31, 2017 at 2:42 pm | #

    “all the girls” means there’s been more girls over in Walky’s place recently.

  44. Killjoy
    Killjoy
    January 31, 2017 at 3:47 pm | #

    How to build an Autocracy

    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/03/how-to-build-an-autocracy/513872/

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 31, 2017 at 6:38 pm | #

      Thank you.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 31, 2017 at 10:03 pm | #

        Also – y’all, Sessions vote toorrow. Call the committee (202-224-5225) and tell them to note no.

  45. Berky
    Berky
    January 31, 2017 at 4:06 pm | #

    I want a relationship as pure and majestic as this

  46. trlkly
    trlkly
    January 31, 2017 at 6:46 pm | #

    Is this our first glimpse of what his favorite cartoon actually looks like, or have I missed it before?

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      January 31, 2017 at 8:03 pm | #

      There are 47 posts tagged ‘monkey_master’, so I’d guess ‘yes’.

  47. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    January 31, 2017 at 11:52 pm | #

    Like a Polaroid picture.

  48. BBCC
    BBCC
    February 2, 2017 at 6:21 pm | #

    Panel One: Yeah, this seems about right for a Tuesday night for Walky. Just hanging out in his bed playing on his phone. Or texting. Or web surfing. Wonder what he’s looking at or who he’s talking to. Is it too much to ask he’s looking for how to drop math?

    Panel Two: Hello, Dorothy. She looks so disgruntled and annoyed here. Whether that’s with Grace or because she’s upset about her social skills and apparent image is up to anyone. I’m thinking a little of both.

    Panel Three: Awwwwwww, this is so cute! This reminds me of Joyce crawling into Ethan’s bed for cuddles when she was sad. Or Billie crawling into Walky’s bed. And yeah, it’s awkward and hard to navigate when stuff like that happens, especially if you aren’t sure what’s wrong.

    Panel Four: Unlike Ethan or himself when Billie crawled in, Walky seems to be taking this pretty well. He’s casual and joking and seems more like he’s talking to himself than Dorothy. Meanwhile, Dorothy is sad and kind of pensive. She’s definitely deep in thought.

    Panel Five: And is promptly yanked out of those depressing thoughts by Walky goofing around. She’s smiling again, wryly noting yeah, she loves this doofus. And he’s happy to make jokes that will make her smile. And of course, happy not to share his milkshake that I’m guessing was on the foot of the bed? Oh, Walky. You dork.

    Not quite doofuses, but they’re very cute! Dooooooooorks.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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