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Well, Ruth put a sad song on her phone for the proper accompaniment for this scene, but the elevator was slower than expected, and it shuffled to the Ducktales Theme.
Yeah, pretty much. College kids + most people default to staring when they don’t know what to say = guaranteed reaction. :/ Been in Ruth’s shoes too many times. :/
Also, I *did* the version of the walk of shame miados mentioned, towards the end of my freshman year. It was only a short term defeat. I genuinely needed to work on some things before I was emotionally ready to handle college. But I don’t think Ruth is quite that far gone.
I’ve found this page helpful for HTML links; you can copy and paste the example and substitute your own text, and if you click the “Try It Yourself” button you can make sure it looks and works the way you want it to. Hope that helps
I’m ok with all of that except the drunk part. No, they’re not the healthiest of couples, but I think it is still a valuable relationship for both of them, and one that can heal as they heal.
Okay, I know you’re being silly, but I am more than enough of a math geek to want to see if your system of quantifying awesomeness is mathematically sound. (At the very least, consistent, well-defined, and elegant.)
You know what, I’m enough of a math geek that I cannot resist trying to come up with such a system, but how do we even define awesomeness?
Reminds me of how I like to describe personalities as linear combinations of “my little pony” characters. In that vector space, can we identify regions with high&low awesomeness? I mean, high contributions of Rainbow Dash certainly count, but the same is true for the other ponies….
Hm, can we say that part of Walky’s lack of awesomeness (don’t get me wrong, I like the guy well enough…) is due to his projection onto the Twilight- and Applejack-dimensions being negative?
Well, let’s start by understanding the shape of what it looks like.
Clearly awesomeness is either some manner of evaluation function that takes objects and ranks them into a mapping system, or the codomain that such a function maps to, or an upper region of that codomain. I’ll go with the last one provisionally.
Furthermore, we have the ability to rank some things as being of strictly-greater awesomeness than others, more awesome or less awesome, so the codomain must have some manner of ordering. However, two objects might be awesome IN DIFFERENT WAYS, such that one can’t be said to be more awesome than the other.
So, as my opening contribution to this discussion, I suggest that awesomeness is an upper region of a partially-ordered codomain of some mapping from the sets of objects of consideration.
…. and I replied to the wrong node, resulting in a new branch rather than a new leaf. Sigh. Okay, reposting above, and this new branch is about applying graph theory to the comments section.
While an awesomeness measure would be useful, even if it were multidimensional, all that is really required is that that we can separate awesome from non-awesome instances which merely requires that the two classes be separable in a space defined by measurable features. If we have such a space, then using a radial bias function around each exemplar of an awesome or non-awesome instance allows us to construct a feature space and the use of the support vector machine algorithm will find us a specific linear separation between awesome and non-awesome instances which will have optimal statistical properties for minimizing future misclassifications.
EDIT THE ABOVE SO “construct a feature space and the use of the support ” BECOMES “construct a feature space where the two classes are linearly separable in the feature space and furthermore the use of the support “
While an awesomeness measure would be useful, even if it were multidimensional, all that is really required is that that we can separate awesome from non-awesome instances which merely requires that the two classes be separable in a space defined by measurable features. If we have such a space, then using a radial bias function around each exemplar of an awesome or non-awesome instance allows us to construct a feature space where the two classes are linearly separable in the feature space and furthermore the use of the support vector machine algorithm will find us a specific linear separation between awesome and non-awesome instances which will have optimal statistical properties for minimizing future misclassifications.
And Ruth is back! I have never been so pumped for a wordless comic before, although something tells me this is not going to be the best thing, particularly where Mary is concerned, although Ruth does seem to have had her spirit broken.
Don’t think it’s necessarily that her spirit is broken per se, but she has shamed herself — at least in her own eyes — so the sheepish “perp walk” is in order.
I also find it interesting that the mysterious “sir” was not contacted, or made an appearance, or was in any other way mentioned despite the fact that Ruth’s hospitalization would have almost demanded that her parent(s)/next of kin/guardian/whatever be notified.
Might not be if the school has insurance she was using, as opposed to using his – he’s not necessarily her emergency contact or on some sort of ‘if trouble, call this number’ list. Especially since Ruth’s hinted he’s not allowed on campus.
She didn’t seem to care much when it happened… honestly, I think Billie’s far more mad at Carla than Ruth is. Ruth blames herself for being broken and other such narratives.
….. okay, I know this isn’t what you meant, but now I’m imagining a bunch of slender, large-headed aliens getting their surgical instruments in order with a bit of mood music playing over the PA.
Anyone else really miss Heath Ledger now. I mean, Jared Leto tried but it’s just not the same. Maybe if Jack Nicholson came back or if Mark Hamil wasn’t busy with Star Wars…but no, I don’t think anyone can replace the Heath Ledger’s Joker shaped hole in my heart. And that’s probably why I won’t like the new batman movies when they happened.
It always feels like a very long journey, and you get back to realize that time hasn’t been moving the same for everyone else. And they don’t understand what you’ve just been through.
I’d suggest additionally a little bit of sympathy and shows of support, but honestly it would be reasonable for them to fear for their femurs if they tried that.
Oh, Ruth. I feel you.
DOA fam, thanks for all your messages the other day. It’s not okay, and fuck cancer, but I know my friend has people around her to take care of her and love her in these last few days/weeks. I’m in touch with her caregivers in her home country and that helps. And a combination of work as usual plus talking to people and letting myself grieve when I need to is keeping me grounded here.
The sad fact is Ruth is aware that every one of these people are looking at her not as someone who was their protector but someone who abused, scared, and intimidated her. They didn’t know the real Ruth and how she defined herself was as their guardian when they only saw a tyrant.
She may be thinking that or more likely thinking that they all now know how worthless and screwed up she is, but from the moment of the intervention we haven’t seen anyone* show anything but concern and sympathy. No one relieved that the tyrant was gone, nothing.
*Except Mary, but we don’t care about her opinion.
Which one? I’m personally (liberal to the point of excommunication for heresy) Catholic, but every once in a while it’s fun to swear by Vishnu or Kali, mainly because if the do exist I want them to know I cared about them in this life.
On the one hand, I fully support Ruth’s recovery, and this moment probably isn’t helping that. The shocked, wordless stares, the inability for anyone to find anything to say, the dialogue that Ruth is no doubt on-and-off entertaining that this is all her fault because of her personal weaknesses… the way that everything has clearly changed between her and everyone else on this floor.
C’mon, people, break the ice. I know that at least 60% of you aren’t shunning her but just don’t know what the hell to say, but that still feels like shunning! Or judging or some similar flavor of reprobation. …. my money’s on Dina actually being the one to approach her and say stuff. Because Dina.
So, that’s the one hand.
But on the other hand, everything HAS changed… because Ruth ruled that floor from a position of power, fear, and abuse, and that power and fear (and hopefully abuse?) are gone. She’s been shown to be mortal. She’s been shown to be weak and vulnerable. And while that’s not exactly awful — we’re all vulnerable and weak and mortal in some ways — her entire relationship with everyone on this floor, except Billie, ran entirely counter to that narrative.
I’m thinking that if she’d run the floor in a supportive, openly-compassionate way (not that that was in her character) rather than a violently abusive way she’d be seeing an outpouring of support. Not universal, of course (and who would want “support” from Mary?), and perhaps a bit walk-on-eggshells-hesitant, but substantial. And that would be a huge help to her, from what I understand about depression and suicidal ideation. And there’s a part of me that can’t help but look at this state of affairs — the abusive authority figure who receives no support from her victims in the time of her greatest need — as being a measure of poetic justice.
… and I know that’s not a positive way forward, that that doesn’t break the cycle, that the schadenfreude has more than a bit of blame-the-victim to it. But there’s a kernel of truth to it as well.
One could make the argument that since it’s quite possible she barely interacted with Chloe (Chloe was under the impression Ruth was a great RA, after all), she didn’t “know” Chloe enough to get an impression of how she behaved in her capacity as an authority figure.
Unpacking that a bit, Chloe said Ruth was “the one R.A. who had their shit together”.
Either every place else was worse, trouble symptoms at other places are more in the open, or Ruth was as secretive going “up the chain” as “down the chain”.
I can’t imagine other floors being much worse (offscreen) without it having been mentioned among the folks on this floor, even glancingly.
It’s pretty clear from what Ruth said earlier in the year that it’s the secretive option – Ruth ran a tight ship and kept any word of trouble from reaching the authorities because she was scared of her secrets coming out and losing everything.
I assume the other RAs asked for help more often, while Ruth seemed to have everything under control.
I hate hate hate hate the “cycle of abuse” rhetoric. Not only does it strip abuse victims of their autonomy it validates (and often even originates) some of their worst fears about themselves. Abuse victims are not destined to be abusers and they are responsible for the decisions they make in how they treat others.
My view is a bit more nuanced on it. On one hand – I hate the hell out of how it’s presented as a given. As if it’s the fucking destiny of a childhood abuse victim to continue the abuse as an adult. That’s a really good way to re-traumatize a kid and teach them that their very emotions are wrong and evil.
On the other hand, I had to fight my first instincts, really hard, to not be an abusive shit to other people, and I failed more often than not until my early 20s. Being raised around abusive authority figures does teache you an abusive pattern. If you have good role-models, or the self-awareness to figure out that it’s abusive, you can break out of that pattern, but that’s where you start from.
It’s not a given by far – but it is a thing I had to fight against hard to get away from. Even after I left home, my abusers were still with me, in my head. I had to get them out of my head, and then clean out all the trash they left there before I could be a non-asshole to people, before I figured out that empathy is not a weakness, and before I could shelve my internalized sexism.
And admittedly my experience is just mine and I imagine that there are many abuse victims out there who are resilient enough to make it out without having that kind of baggage in need of unpacking before they can stop repeating the pattern they were brought up with – but I wasn’t one of them.
I have a friend who, by maybe seventeen or eighteen, said he never wanted to have kids. I just figured, okay, that’s not something everyone wants. Then one day I mentioned how there are many people who are abused who don’t grow into abusers themselves, and it practically blew his mind. Turns out his decision to never have kids was based on the belief that he would inevitably abuse them as he had been abused.
There’s a literal cycle, as in the cycle that you go through when you are in a relationship with an abuser – whether that person is a partner, parent, sibling. That’s mostly applicable to interpersonal relationships where you know the person beyond a superficial level (i.e., not the school bully). This is actually helpful for victims because it allows them to recognize the patterns (and let’s be honest, many don’t truly understand it for what it is until much later, if at all) and understand the abuse more.
I just don’t appreciate painting this theory with a broad “it’s all terrible” brush because the thing about it is that it’s most decidedly NOT saying that all people who become abused will abuse others, but here’s a genuine question – is it not true that if a grandfather abuses the son who abuses his son and so on, is there not a pattern there? Cause there’s a pattern there. That’s what is called the cyclical nature of abuse, especially as applied to abuse patterns in families – intergenerational.
It’s not totally bad, and I would never give anyone who in a current situation advice to not pay attention to any of the literature, etc. examining abusive relationships, simply because of the fact that yes, a lot of abusers were abused themselves as children for example. That does not mean EVERY child who is abused will abuse their own children, nor should anyone take it to mean that. But remember that a lot of this stuff is not ignorant speculation. This is actual science of psychology and neuropsych. There are real effects of these things on others.
That being said, if there is a fear of abusing others since one was abused (which is a really normal fear to have), realize that some people come out of childhood abuse for example just fine, others wind up with problems like PTSD and depression, and some do actually struggle with problems that make them more likely to be aggressive/hurtful towards others – (some folks with) BPD/NPD, uncontrollable anger issues, etc.
To the paragraph just before this one, realize that if you experience a childhood like that, you’re going to have some sort of emotional baggage. For most people, this is inevitable – that’s just a fact. That is not to say you’re spontaneously gonna hulk out one day and ruin yours and someone else’s life, but what it is saying is that it is helpful to examine the abused past and try to develop coping mechanisms that prevent you from at the very least ruining your own life (many victims develop addictions, or simply self sabotage in relationships, the workplace, or you might bottle it all up and just have a breakdown, etc.).
I’m gonna say this and I know it might piss people off, but we need to see the nuances here and quit it with the narrative that victims can’t also do problematic things. A mother letting her kids be abused by the other parent and doing nothing about it (and vice versa) – that’s problematic. A battered parent turning on the kids to blow off steam they can’t throw at their abusive partner- that’s problematic. These two scenarios are much more common than people want to admit – most people want to believe the “clean” version of events without examining the whole picture. The cycle of abuse is just that – looking at the big picture. Look at the big picture, see what may apply to you, if at all and act accordingly. That’s all.
Just to throw in anecdotal evidence here, the person in my life swore that they would never hurt their offspring – yet they did, and they also happen to be a victim of horrific abuse as a child. Them being a victim doesn’t undo what they did to their offspring. Ironically, that was their excuse – “my pain doesn’t mean that the pain I inflict on others is real, because obviously those two things could never happen at once and therefore you didn’t just experience what happened.”
I hope Ruth simply took out her frustrations on other people because it made her feel better. Basically, she did a horrible thing and she’s grown from that. Unlike, say, Mike, who cannot grow from it because he’s just a monster. No need to justify it, it was simply Ruth felt better by making other people feel worse and then she found out she didn’t need to do that.
Abusive authority figure? I don’t know, that seems a little overblown. If Ruth was really that bad, anyone could have reported her from day 1. It’s a college, not a nation-state. There are times when Ruth did play a supportive and responsible role, though gruff. And presumably Ruth does a lot of boring paperwork in her role that we don’t see in strips because it is, well, boring. I don’t think she necessarily handled her role in a healthy way, but I also think this is a comic and characters’ personalities are usually exaggerated for comedy. She’s kind of an asshole, sure, but the way I understood her was that she’s sort of seen through freshman eyes. I think most seniors would just appreciate that she’s not a nosy pain in the ass and roll with it.
Except then you have to hope the damn college listens (fucking lol, given how they thought she was one of the best), and if you take your shot and miss, you single yourself out for intensified abuse – there’s a reason why shit like that tends to persist.
And yes, she was a fucking abusive power figure, and frankly heads need to roll from her on up for letting get as bad as it did.
It’s interesting there’s little indication from the students on the floor that they think of her that way. There’s been concern for her, there’s been talk of a replacement, but there’s been no “She’s gone, we’re safe now.” As far as we know, no one running to Chloe with horror stories during their best chance to be rid of her without risking retaliation.
Nor did the older girls try to transfer off her floor, nor do they really seem to be living in fear of Ruthless.
It could be that they’ve never had a good RA before, so they just don’t expect any better from Ruth. They’d just think, “RAs are supposed to be scary like Ruth” and don’t think to report her or anything.
A cold wind shook the branches of cold trees. Wild dogs howled and slunk back to their hovels. The door creaked and a cold shiver went through the good people of Clark.
She was back.
Steps against cold stone. Silence, short breaths, No one dared say a word or make a noise (except Dina who said “Thank you for not dying. Incidentally, the earliest known dinosaurs were biped”).
She was back.
She didn’t stop. She didn’t meet their eyes. But they knew. They knew all those little things they had done when the RA was gone. They knew all the lines she had crossed, and they knew that she would know too, soon enough. She knew everything, every little guilty secret in their hearts. Clark Wing had sunk into anarchy, but now it was time for a reckoning.
Or, you know, this is incredibly traumatic and Ruth is brave as shit walking through the corridor like this (AT LEAST CALL AHEAD TO BILLIE, RUTH. SHE COULD ESCORT YOU!), but painting her as a badass sheriff is one way of coping with it.
The Woman from Canada is arriving today!
Nothing can stop her from coming this way.
She will not hear pleading, she cares not for succor.
She is the Woman from Canada, bow low before her!
(Her hands are like storm clouds with lighting quick talons. All before is murmur, all after is silence.)
Not sure if I obscured the reference too much. This is lifted from the Welcome to Night Vale episode “The Woman from Italy.” Audio here, transcript here. The Vague, Yet Menacing, Government Agency reminds us that we are not to talk about WTNV. All hail the Glow Cloud!
She’s not looking down out of shame, she’s just sizing everyone’s legs to see who has the more easily accessible femurs. She’s hungry for femurs. So much so she would also nibble a tibia.
Just tell me you aren’t thinking of the original Tears for Fears version of that song… it felt tonally incongruous with it’s own lyrics in it’s day and really isn’t tonally appropriate for this scene the way Gary Jules cover is.
I completely agree with this statement. To me, hearing the Gary Jules version makes me think that this was an REM song in an alternate universe because I swear can almost hear Michael Stipe’s voice singing in my head when I listen to it rather than Curt Smith’s.
Ruth would have to be looking straight ahead for this to really fit, but all the music ideas had me searching for something to fit the words “I Walk Alone” – past Green Day, past a country hit by Marty Robbins covering Eddy Arnold, and finally I remember a curiosity that sold better worldwide than any Beatles song ever recorded, helping the argument that the 1960’s was musically the best, on account of anything could happen and all the world would hear of it.
Line from Undergrads modified — “Duck and cover freaks and geeks Ruth is back!” Sadly, Ruth has been broken too much to care about beig RA anymore I’d wager.
Well hopefully now she won’t be assaulting, threatening or stalking anyone again, yes I know I’m “supposed” to feel bad for Ruth but I really don’t
I agree she has a bad homelife but she chose to act the way she did, she chose to threaten, to provoke and use violence, to use the power of authority for her own ends, it was all her own choice, I’d like to see some act of contrition or some apologies to people shes abused (Carla would be a good start) or anything that suggests shes seen what her actions have been like
(and it might just be my interpretation as I am bias against Ruth) it almost seems as if shes blaming Carla for what happened so while not physically abusive it sounded like victim blaming against someone that probably has dealt with quite a bit of it in the past
That was definitely victim blaming, and the way she left Carla to fend for herself largely negated the good will she’d earned with her immediate response to Mary’s shit.
Fleeing in the face of blackmail was understandable, even though it was shitty, but turning around and (however meekly) trying to scold Carla for “provoking” Mary was one of Ruth’s lower moments.
Ok abuse may not have been the correct term however Ruth treated Carla shabbily, first in backing down against Mary, secondly when she blamed Carla for what happened and lastly for the apology that wasn’t really an apology
Ruth did not abuse Carla. She tried to help her, but then a bully with leverage stopped her. She tried to explain this to Carla, but she stormed off (albeit understandably, as she thought it was just an excuse. We [and now Carla] know it wasn’t).
Ruth went out of her way to continue to put the hurt on Mary as much as she could. At first she just told Carla that she could do anything to Mary and she would look the other way. Later on, she gave up the one thing making her happy–her relationship–and the one thing helping her cope–alcohol–in an attempt to remove the bully’s leverage, so she could report her.
All this, while actually dealing with crippling severe depression, and not being able to feel anything. Despite having every excuse to not do anything, she still fucking tried. The whole reason she went catatonic was that she was trying to help Carla.
It’s one thing to hate Ruth for the stuff she did early on, before she was fully characterized. She was abusive to everyone.
But she has never abused Carla. She has gone out of her way to help her.
If you know you’re biased, isn’t that the best time to take a step back and see if your inability to empathize is based on what actually happened? –
And, yeah, it’s personal, too. It’s so much fun being reminded that, even when I try my best to be good, if I say one thing out of line due to frustration of dealing with my mental illness on top of all the other streess, I will be judged as absolutely horrible.
As much as you and I have butted heads on a number of occasions, getting heated more than once, I have never been under the impression that you were a bad person.
It wasn’t one thing out of line it was a culmination of Ruths behaviours that led to this.
The physical violence, the threats, the harassment, the sexual harassment of Billie, the alcoholism, all that and more is what allowed Mary to threaten Ruth into impotence and leave Carla, potentially, unsafe and unprotected
Except none of that is what Mary was actually threatening Ruth with. It’s not even clear how much of it Mary knew or cared about.
She threatened Ruth with the relationship (not sexual harassment) with Billie and with letting Becky stay on the floor. Both rules violations, but not actually bad things – even considering how the relationship with Billie started.
The alcoholism did leave her more vulnerable, even though Mary apparently knew nothing of it, but the violence and bullying don’t appear to have played into the situation at all.
“If you know you’re biased, isn’t that the best time to take a step back and see if your inability to empathize is based on what actually happened?”
I’m biased so I’m going on what was put in the comic, Ruth stepped up to protect Carla but when Mary threatened Ruth, Ruth folded then blamed Carla for what happened and tried to explain why she let Mary get away with it
Ok that’s a fair call but would you also accept that Ruth started to blame Carla for the incident and then tried to minimise her own actions by stating “but you have to understand”
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it!
also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
Loading ...
DRAMATIC MUSIC IS PLAYING RIGHT NOW
Well, Ruth put a sad song on her phone for the proper accompaniment for this scene, but the elevator was slower than expected, and it shuffled to the Ducktales Theme.
That explains the hand-over-mouth reaction, stopping herself from singing along.
Must…stifle…”Woohoo!”…
Doctor Woohoo?
Or possibly a sad piano tune.
NCIS elevator ding, followed by the sad walking-away music from the old Incredible Hulk TV show.
(Optional cut to the lobby where Dina’s playing it on the grand piano.)
I got there first, but having Dina playing it is a nice touch.
Thanks, that’s what I get for replying to comments from the top down!
“Superheroes” by Richard O’Brien. The final song in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, though you don’t hear the full thing in all prints.
Or, you could play imperial march, and change the entire scene!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d4C1ZQKmw4&ab_channel=97coast
and that’s three!
I disagree, a very heavy silence is what fits this scene better! Just ambient sound, maybe even make the footsteps a bit louder.
shay-na-na-na my girlfriend’s back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NuofNHKbVc
Yes…all eyes on her…that’s gonna help her, yep.
I was thinking the same. Is concerned staring really the best anyone can do there?
Yeah, pretty much. College kids + most people default to staring when they don’t know what to say = guaranteed reaction. :/ Been in Ruth’s shoes too many times. :/
How did you sneak in and try on her shoes without waking Billie up?
The prodigal daughter returns
Dammit you beat me to it
But can we really cannot her prodigal? It always bothers me when the phrase is used out of context.
*can we really call her
We need an edit button.
‘Prodigal’ is fine. It’s ‘daughter’ I have issues with. Her parents are dead, so there’s really no one for the ‘daughter’ to return to.
I mean the reference is to the prodigal son so.
‘The Prodigal R.A.’ makes more sense, to me.
Maybe now I can start to like her!
Man that has gotta be awkward. Nearly everyone on the floor knows her business. Eesh…
the walk of shame is–
actually, you know what? she’s going through some rough stuff and i think i’ll leave her alone
I think leaving and not returning would be a walk of shame here.
In my mind at least this is more a walk of worry and fear.
Also, I *did* the version of the walk of shame miados mentioned, towards the end of my freshman year. It was only a short term defeat. I genuinely needed to work on some things before I was emotionally ready to handle college. But I don’t think Ruth is quite that far gone.
Actually, compared to the <a href="http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/rat/" last walk of shame on this floor, the bystanders appear much more sympathetic.
<a href="http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/rat/"let's try this again
… I really wish there were a preview function for those of us who are terrible with html.
I’ve found this page helpful for HTML links; you can copy and paste the example and substitute your own text, and if you click the “Try It Yourself” button you can make sure it looks and works the way you want it to. Hope that helps
Concerned, sympathetic looks all around. She wouldn’t want anyone running up to her, would she?
Not if they value their femurs
is billie gonna be okay?
Ruth’s probably going to find her asleep, and drunk, in her room.
I’m ok with all of that except the drunk part. No, they’re not the healthiest of couples, but I think it is still a valuable relationship for both of them, and one that can heal as they heal.
Yay! Someone welcome her back — now!
Just trying this capitalize letters to get a different avatar thing…
And it works!
Huh, I don’t even remember whose icon I have.
oh duh right i made a gravatar because I had walky and didn’t want walky XD
That’s cool. Not everyone’s awesome enough for Walky.
…. awesome. AWESOME.
…..
…. *hangs head in shame*
I can mathematically explain why Walky isn’t awesome.
I would explain it to him, but I doubt he’d understand.
……..
Okay, I know you’re being silly, but I am more than enough of a math geek to want to see if your system of quantifying awesomeness is mathematically sound. (At the very least, consistent, well-defined, and elegant.)
Bring it.
it was meant to be a joke about how walky is failing math.
You know what, I’m enough of a math geek that I cannot resist trying to come up with such a system, but how do we even define awesomeness?
Reminds me of how I like to describe personalities as linear combinations of “my little pony” characters. In that vector space, can we identify regions with high&low awesomeness? I mean, high contributions of Rainbow Dash certainly count, but the same is true for the other ponies….
Hm, can we say that part of Walky’s lack of awesomeness (don’t get me wrong, I like the guy well enough…) is due to his projection onto the Twilight- and Applejack-dimensions being negative?
Well, let’s start by understanding the shape of what it looks like.
Clearly awesomeness is either some manner of evaluation function that takes objects and ranks them into a mapping system, or the codomain that such a function maps to, or an upper region of that codomain. I’ll go with the last one provisionally.
Furthermore, we have the ability to rank some things as being of strictly-greater awesomeness than others, more awesome or less awesome, so the codomain must have some manner of ordering. However, two objects might be awesome IN DIFFERENT WAYS, such that one can’t be said to be more awesome than the other.
So, as my opening contribution to this discussion, I suggest that awesomeness is an upper region of a partially-ordered codomain of some mapping from the sets of objects of consideration.
*reposting* That, or awesomeness is ordered (rather than just partially ordered) but the mapping is not an injection.
The math for why Walky isn’t awesome is actually very simple: he acts like he’s 12 when he’s like 19.
… that, or awesomeness is ordered, but the function is not an injection.
…. and I replied to the wrong node, resulting in a new branch rather than a new leaf. Sigh. Okay, reposting above, and this new branch is about applying graph theory to the comments section.
While an awesomeness measure would be useful, even if it were multidimensional, all that is really required is that that we can separate awesome from non-awesome instances which merely requires that the two classes be separable in a space defined by measurable features. If we have such a space, then using a radial bias function around each exemplar of an awesome or non-awesome instance allows us to construct a feature space and the use of the support vector machine algorithm will find us a specific linear separation between awesome and non-awesome instances which will have optimal statistical properties for minimizing future misclassifications.
EDIT THE ABOVE SO “construct a feature space and the use of the support ” BECOMES “construct a feature space where the two classes are linearly separable in the feature space and furthermore the use of the support “
Oh, never mind, I’ll do it. …
While an awesomeness measure would be useful, even if it were multidimensional, all that is really required is that that we can separate awesome from non-awesome instances which merely requires that the two classes be separable in a space defined by measurable features. If we have such a space, then using a radial bias function around each exemplar of an awesome or non-awesome instance allows us to construct a feature space where the two classes are linearly separable in the feature space and furthermore the use of the support vector machine algorithm will find us a specific linear separation between awesome and non-awesome instances which will have optimal statistical properties for minimizing future misclassifications.
Aaaagh! “radial bias function” should be “properly scaled radial bias function”. Damn you lack of edit feature!
Wait, really?
Nah it doesn’t…shame, there needs to be like, a catalog of icons. I don’t want walky.
It only works if you don’t have a gravatar set. Gravatar doesn’t care about capitalization, but the hash process used to find the local ones does.
Someone welcome her back? I nominate Joyce.
And Ruth is back! I have never been so pumped for a wordless comic before, although something tells me this is not going to be the best thing, particularly where Mary is concerned, although Ruth does seem to have had her spirit broken.
Don’t think it’s necessarily that her spirit is broken per se, but she has shamed herself — at least in her own eyes — so the sheepish “perp walk” is in order.
I also find it interesting that the mysterious “sir” was not contacted, or made an appearance, or was in any other way mentioned despite the fact that Ruth’s hospitalization would have almost demanded that her parent(s)/next of kin/guardian/whatever be notified.
Might not be if the school has insurance she was using, as opposed to using his – he’s not necessarily her emergency contact or on some sort of ‘if trouble, call this number’ list. Especially since Ruth’s hinted he’s not allowed on campus.
All eyes on her.
Except for Carla, who is either staring at the floor or the UC sticker on her door. And wow is it depressing.
Consider the ball dropped.
Huh, if Ruth feels like she won’t be able to keep her job, will she finally confront Mary?
If it happens for some reason i want it to be just here standing there and staring at mary.
Y’know, I’m curious how Ruth feels about Carla’s “intervention.” Hopefully we see some more interaction between them soon.
Agreed. We can see the hints of guilt in Carla’s face in panels 4&5, so this inevitable confrontation will be interesting
She didn’t seem to care much when it happened… honestly, I think Billie’s far more mad at Carla than Ruth is. Ruth blames herself for being broken and other such narratives.
Ruth didn’t really care about anything by that point, though.
I think she’ll be kinda mad but ultimately thankful, if her therapy’s actually helping.
Exactly. Ruth may have been mad in the moment but I think long term she’s gonna recognize that it helped.
Oof
The faces here say a lot.
sweet child
Man, after Rachel and Agatha I was expecting everyone to go monochrome.
The grays really set the mood.
….. okay, I know this isn’t what you meant, but now I’m imagining a bunch of slender, large-headed aliens getting their surgical instruments in order with a bit of mood music playing over the PA.
….. my brain’s a scary place.
Your brain sounds fun and inventive.
Scary, fun, and inventive aren’t necessarily contradictory.
Anyone else really miss Heath Ledger now. I mean, Jared Leto tried but it’s just not the same. Maybe if Jack Nicholson came back or if Mark Hamil wasn’t busy with Star Wars…but no, I don’t think anyone can replace the Heath Ledger’s Joker shaped hole in my heart. And that’s probably why I won’t like the new batman movies when they happened.
Oh god, this is painful. It’s hard not to feel like a sideshow freak when everyone’s staring you down.
“the walk of shame”
I feel like the Imperial March should be playing as the doors open or something.
This version, perhaps? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Fol9kwQ6-k
(still not sure how to embed links into text, here)
[a href=”url goes here”]link text goes here[/a]
With all those square brackets replaced with angled ones.
That said, I definitely approve.
[a href=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbbtmskCRUY”]Rachmaninoff Isle of the Dead[/a] perhaps?
Rachmaninoff Isle of the Dead perhaps?
Can I give Ruth a hug? I feel like someone should give Ruth a hug.
I’m not good with people. Anytime I don’t know what to say (which is often), I usually give someone a hug.
That seems like a good strategy. I shall consider adopting it.
the first day after leaving a psych ward is hard……. when I was in her shoes in that regard at least I was torn between so many thoughts.
It always feels like a very long journey, and you get back to realize that time hasn’t been moving the same for everyone else. And they don’t understand what you’ve just been through.
Carla is probably feeling guilty, but I’ve been where she is and I think she made the only right choice available to herin a bad situation.
The return… of the overall shorts!
Puts Elton Jon on the hacked muzak.
(For positive values of “bongo” only.)
…. okay, it’s not actually apropos to the moment, but C’MON girl! Own that hall! POWER STRUT!
……. oh, hey, that filter-substitution. I’d actually managed to forget that was a thing, somehow.
This isn’t a sideshow! Stop staring and move on with your business girls!
I’d suggest additionally a little bit of sympathy and shows of support, but honestly it would be reasonable for them to fear for their femurs if they tried that.
maybe dina will offer mild physical touch on the shoulder. She is in the last panel after all she might be willing to as I dont think dina feared her.
Mary might be a little fucked by the new Ruth.
Oh, Ruth. I feel you.
DOA fam, thanks for all your messages the other day. It’s not okay, and fuck cancer, but I know my friend has people around her to take care of her and love her in these last few days/weeks. I’m in touch with her caregivers in her home country and that helps. And a combination of work as usual plus talking to people and letting myself grieve when I need to is keeping me grounded here.
offers an internet hug as I am unsure what else to do.
Thank you and hug back.
Sympathy via light internet contact.
*internet hug because I didn’t get the chance to try when you first posted about your friend because of work*
Why do I feel like a funeral organ should be playing foreboding music from a gothic cathedral at this exact moment?
Probably because Ruth is in the strip.
see Emperor Daniel’s link above.
Because that is what should always be playing, 24/7, year-round. (With the option to, like, opt out while you listen to Spotify or whatever.)
The sad fact is Ruth is aware that every one of these people are looking at her not as someone who was their protector but someone who abused, scared, and intimidated her. They didn’t know the real Ruth and how she defined herself was as their guardian when they only saw a tyrant.
intimidated them! Curses!
I don’t know. Don’t they rather look like people who don’t know how to act around someone they know was suicidal?
I think them being scared is also a good call because Ruth was a scary person.
She may be thinking that or more likely thinking that they all now know how worthless and screwed up she is, but from the moment of the intervention we haven’t seen anyone* show anything but concern and sympathy. No one relieved that the tyrant was gone, nothing.
*Except Mary, but we don’t care about her opinion.
Carla’s lookin’ fine today.
Really?
Because in Panel 5, she’s kinda looking down.
….
*flees for dear punning life*
Oooooh, you punned the alpha-pranker? BIG mistake
Carla is an engineer, and when engineers come full circle, it always involves pie.
Two of them, in fact.
Two pie? Are you sure that’s fair?
It’s only one pun.
I prefer 3.14 pie, myself.
That’s just pi squared, and you can get it by cutting the edges off any regular pi.
But only if you can figure out how to square a circle.
Easy. All you need is one pie, one knife, and a couple of people who like the taste of pie crust.
Reltzik, I swear to God
Which one? I’m personally (liberal to the point of excommunication for heresy) Catholic, but every once in a while it’s fun to swear by Vishnu or Kali, mainly because if the do exist I want them to know I cared about them in this life.
Regardless of which one, swearing to them isn’t a good idea. They curse back, and it’s always nasty.
The relevant one in this case is Willis
I’ve got mixed feelings about this.
On the one hand, I fully support Ruth’s recovery, and this moment probably isn’t helping that. The shocked, wordless stares, the inability for anyone to find anything to say, the dialogue that Ruth is no doubt on-and-off entertaining that this is all her fault because of her personal weaknesses… the way that everything has clearly changed between her and everyone else on this floor.
C’mon, people, break the ice. I know that at least 60% of you aren’t shunning her but just don’t know what the hell to say, but that still feels like shunning! Or judging or some similar flavor of reprobation. …. my money’s on Dina actually being the one to approach her and say stuff. Because Dina.
So, that’s the one hand.
But on the other hand, everything HAS changed… because Ruth ruled that floor from a position of power, fear, and abuse, and that power and fear (and hopefully abuse?) are gone. She’s been shown to be mortal. She’s been shown to be weak and vulnerable. And while that’s not exactly awful — we’re all vulnerable and weak and mortal in some ways — her entire relationship with everyone on this floor, except Billie, ran entirely counter to that narrative.
I’m thinking that if she’d run the floor in a supportive, openly-compassionate way (not that that was in her character) rather than a violently abusive way she’d be seeing an outpouring of support. Not universal, of course (and who would want “support” from Mary?), and perhaps a bit walk-on-eggshells-hesitant, but substantial. And that would be a huge help to her, from what I understand about depression and suicidal ideation. And there’s a part of me that can’t help but look at this state of affairs — the abusive authority figure who receives no support from her victims in the time of her greatest need — as being a measure of poetic justice.
… and I know that’s not a positive way forward, that that doesn’t break the cycle, that the schadenfreude has more than a bit of blame-the-victim to it. But there’s a kernel of truth to it as well.
So, yeah. Mixed feelings.
I think Ruth ran the floor like that because it was the only way she knew how figures of authority behaved.
Oh? Does Chloe behave like that?
Though, okay, the spirit of that might be accurate, even if there were exceptions.
One could make the argument that since it’s quite possible she barely interacted with Chloe (Chloe was under the impression Ruth was a great RA, after all), she didn’t “know” Chloe enough to get an impression of how she behaved in her capacity as an authority figure.
Unpacking that a bit, Chloe said Ruth was “the one R.A. who had their shit together”.
Either every place else was worse, trouble symptoms at other places are more in the open, or Ruth was as secretive going “up the chain” as “down the chain”.
I can’t imagine other floors being much worse (offscreen) without it having been mentioned among the folks on this floor, even glancingly.
It’s pretty clear from what Ruth said earlier in the year that it’s the secretive option – Ruth ran a tight ship and kept any word of trouble from reaching the authorities because she was scared of her secrets coming out and losing everything.
I assume the other RAs asked for help more often, while Ruth seemed to have everything under control.
I hate hate hate hate the “cycle of abuse” rhetoric. Not only does it strip abuse victims of their autonomy it validates (and often even originates) some of their worst fears about themselves. Abuse victims are not destined to be abusers and they are responsible for the decisions they make in how they treat others.
My view is a bit more nuanced on it. On one hand – I hate the hell out of how it’s presented as a given. As if it’s the fucking destiny of a childhood abuse victim to continue the abuse as an adult. That’s a really good way to re-traumatize a kid and teach them that their very emotions are wrong and evil.
On the other hand, I had to fight my first instincts, really hard, to not be an abusive shit to other people, and I failed more often than not until my early 20s. Being raised around abusive authority figures does teache you an abusive pattern. If you have good role-models, or the self-awareness to figure out that it’s abusive, you can break out of that pattern, but that’s where you start from.
It’s not a given by far – but it is a thing I had to fight against hard to get away from. Even after I left home, my abusers were still with me, in my head. I had to get them out of my head, and then clean out all the trash they left there before I could be a non-asshole to people, before I figured out that empathy is not a weakness, and before I could shelve my internalized sexism.
And admittedly my experience is just mine and I imagine that there are many abuse victims out there who are resilient enough to make it out without having that kind of baggage in need of unpacking before they can stop repeating the pattern they were brought up with – but I wasn’t one of them.
I have a friend who, by maybe seventeen or eighteen, said he never wanted to have kids. I just figured, okay, that’s not something everyone wants. Then one day I mentioned how there are many people who are abused who don’t grow into abusers themselves, and it practically blew his mind. Turns out his decision to never have kids was based on the belief that he would inevitably abuse them as he had been abused.
There’s a literal cycle, as in the cycle that you go through when you are in a relationship with an abuser – whether that person is a partner, parent, sibling. That’s mostly applicable to interpersonal relationships where you know the person beyond a superficial level (i.e., not the school bully). This is actually helpful for victims because it allows them to recognize the patterns (and let’s be honest, many don’t truly understand it for what it is until much later, if at all) and understand the abuse more.
I just don’t appreciate painting this theory with a broad “it’s all terrible” brush because the thing about it is that it’s most decidedly NOT saying that all people who become abused will abuse others, but here’s a genuine question – is it not true that if a grandfather abuses the son who abuses his son and so on, is there not a pattern there? Cause there’s a pattern there. That’s what is called the cyclical nature of abuse, especially as applied to abuse patterns in families – intergenerational.
It’s not totally bad, and I would never give anyone who in a current situation advice to not pay attention to any of the literature, etc. examining abusive relationships, simply because of the fact that yes, a lot of abusers were abused themselves as children for example. That does not mean EVERY child who is abused will abuse their own children, nor should anyone take it to mean that. But remember that a lot of this stuff is not ignorant speculation. This is actual science of psychology and neuropsych. There are real effects of these things on others.
That being said, if there is a fear of abusing others since one was abused (which is a really normal fear to have), realize that some people come out of childhood abuse for example just fine, others wind up with problems like PTSD and depression, and some do actually struggle with problems that make them more likely to be aggressive/hurtful towards others – (some folks with) BPD/NPD, uncontrollable anger issues, etc.
To the paragraph just before this one, realize that if you experience a childhood like that, you’re going to have some sort of emotional baggage. For most people, this is inevitable – that’s just a fact. That is not to say you’re spontaneously gonna hulk out one day and ruin yours and someone else’s life, but what it is saying is that it is helpful to examine the abused past and try to develop coping mechanisms that prevent you from at the very least ruining your own life (many victims develop addictions, or simply self sabotage in relationships, the workplace, or you might bottle it all up and just have a breakdown, etc.).
I’m gonna say this and I know it might piss people off, but we need to see the nuances here and quit it with the narrative that victims can’t also do problematic things. A mother letting her kids be abused by the other parent and doing nothing about it (and vice versa) – that’s problematic. A battered parent turning on the kids to blow off steam they can’t throw at their abusive partner- that’s problematic. These two scenarios are much more common than people want to admit – most people want to believe the “clean” version of events without examining the whole picture. The cycle of abuse is just that – looking at the big picture. Look at the big picture, see what may apply to you, if at all and act accordingly. That’s all.
Just to throw in anecdotal evidence here, the person in my life swore that they would never hurt their offspring – yet they did, and they also happen to be a victim of horrific abuse as a child. Them being a victim doesn’t undo what they did to their offspring. Ironically, that was their excuse – “my pain doesn’t mean that the pain I inflict on others is real, because obviously those two things could never happen at once and therefore you didn’t just experience what happened.”
I didn’t specifically mention it because of the abuse angle.
I hope Ruth simply took out her frustrations on other people because it made her feel better. Basically, she did a horrible thing and she’s grown from that. Unlike, say, Mike, who cannot grow from it because he’s just a monster. No need to justify it, it was simply Ruth felt better by making other people feel worse and then she found out she didn’t need to do that.
Abusive authority figure? I don’t know, that seems a little overblown. If Ruth was really that bad, anyone could have reported her from day 1. It’s a college, not a nation-state. There are times when Ruth did play a supportive and responsible role, though gruff. And presumably Ruth does a lot of boring paperwork in her role that we don’t see in strips because it is, well, boring. I don’t think she necessarily handled her role in a healthy way, but I also think this is a comic and characters’ personalities are usually exaggerated for comedy. She’s kind of an asshole, sure, but the way I understood her was that she’s sort of seen through freshman eyes. I think most seniors would just appreciate that she’s not a nosy pain in the ass and roll with it.
Except then you have to hope the damn college listens (fucking lol, given how they thought she was one of the best), and if you take your shot and miss, you single yourself out for intensified abuse – there’s a reason why shit like that tends to persist.
And yes, she was a fucking abusive power figure, and frankly heads need to roll from her on up for letting get as bad as it did.
It’s interesting there’s little indication from the students on the floor that they think of her that way. There’s been concern for her, there’s been talk of a replacement, but there’s been no “She’s gone, we’re safe now.” As far as we know, no one running to Chloe with horror stories during their best chance to be rid of her without risking retaliation.
Nor did the older girls try to transfer off her floor, nor do they really seem to be living in fear of Ruthless.
It could be that they’ve never had a good RA before, so they just don’t expect any better from Ruth. They’d just think, “RAs are supposed to be scary like Ruth” and don’t think to report her or anything.
A cold wind shook the branches of cold trees. Wild dogs howled and slunk back to their hovels. The door creaked and a cold shiver went through the good people of Clark.
She was back.
Steps against cold stone. Silence, short breaths, No one dared say a word or make a noise (except Dina who said “Thank you for not dying. Incidentally, the earliest known dinosaurs were biped”).
She was back.
She didn’t stop. She didn’t meet their eyes. But they knew. They knew all those little things they had done when the RA was gone. They knew all the lines she had crossed, and they knew that she would know too, soon enough. She knew everything, every little guilty secret in their hearts. Clark Wing had sunk into anarchy, but now it was time for a reckoning.
Ruth was back, and she was going to go spare!
Or, you know, this is incredibly traumatic and Ruth is brave as shit walking through the corridor like this (AT LEAST CALL AHEAD TO BILLIE, RUTH. SHE COULD ESCORT YOU!), but painting her as a badass sheriff is one way of coping with it.
Fortunately, it wasn’t as sunk down into anarchy as it otherwise would have been, thanks to Joyce’s tireless efforts to keep things from unraveling!
The Woman from Canada is arriving today!
Nothing can stop her from coming this way.
She will not hear pleading, she cares not for succor.
She is the Woman from Canada, bow low before her!
(Her hands are like storm clouds with lighting quick talons. All before is murmur, all after is silence.)
Considering the reputation Canadian troops have in Europe as a result of WW1 and WW2, I feel this to be an accurately intimidating poem.
Canadian woman, can confirm, we are FIERCE.
Maybe the Leafs should make an effort to recruit women.
Not sure if I obscured the reference too much. This is lifted from the Welcome to Night Vale episode “The Woman from Italy.” Audio here, transcript here. The Vague, Yet Menacing, Government Agency reminds us that we are not to talk about WTNV. All hail the Glow Cloud!
Calling it… Dina will give her a hug. Because she’s Dina.
Sympathy through light physical contact will be administered.
She’s not looking down out of shame, she’s just sizing everyone’s legs to see who has the more easily accessible femurs. She’s hungry for femurs. So much so she would also nibble a tibia.
Thanks for the laugh! I needed that. Femurs!
All around me are familiar faces…
Worn out places, worn out faces…
Just tell me you aren’t thinking of the original Tears for Fears version of that song… it felt tonally incongruous with it’s own lyrics in it’s day and really isn’t tonally appropriate for this scene the way Gary Jules cover is.
I completely agree with this statement. To me, hearing the Gary Jules version makes me think that this was an REM song in an alternate universe because I swear can almost hear Michael Stipe’s voice singing in my head when I listen to it rather than Curt Smith’s.
I wasn’t even aware there WAS a version of the song other than Gary Jules’
Shorteralls should totally be a tag in this comic.
This could go all sorts of places
I thought the space between her legs when the elevator first opens was a vacuum cleaner
Me too, took me the longest time to realize it wasn’t.
It physically hurt to read this strip.
Interesting, since there’s no text.
But, maybe that’s why it hurt?
Geez, stare a lilmore if possible
I know that many are probably concerned, but the mere fact that she have to go through the corridor must already be unbearably awkward
On the bright side – she’s still green-eyed Ruth, which, to me, is a good thing.
Maybe that’s why everyone’s staring? Agatha’s in awe that Joyce-Iris is spreading, wondering if she’s next.
Ruth would have to be looking straight ahead for this to really fit, but all the music ideas had me searching for something to fit the words “I Walk Alone” – past Green Day, past a country hit by Marty Robbins covering Eddy Arnold, and finally I remember a curiosity that sold better worldwide than any Beatles song ever recorded, helping the argument that the 1960’s was musically the best, on account of anything could happen and all the world would hear of it.
“The time has come for us to say ‘sayonara’ …..”
…… from the original movie version of “M*A*S*H”
Someone stop staring and say ‘Welcome back’ for goodness sake!
I’ve been in Ruth’s position after a nasty suicide attempt. People treated me like I was a freak.
This is much more deserving of the phrase “walk of shame”,
as opposed to the more common useage, which could be retitled “I got laid last night! Woo!”
Meanwhile, Dina: “Peope are having unusual facial expressions. Should I be happy, or concerned? It seems important that I get this right.”
Line from Undergrads modified — “Duck and cover freaks and geeks Ruth is back!” Sadly, Ruth has been broken too much to care about beig RA anymore I’d wager.
Well hopefully now she won’t be assaulting, threatening or stalking anyone again, yes I know I’m “supposed” to feel bad for Ruth but I really don’t
I agree she has a bad homelife but she chose to act the way she did, she chose to threaten, to provoke and use violence, to use the power of authority for her own ends, it was all her own choice, I’d like to see some act of contrition or some apologies to people shes abused (Carla would be a good start) or anything that suggests shes seen what her actions have been like
ok… serious question here: When did Ruth abuse Carla? Because I really don’t remember that happening.
Instead of defending Carla Ruth folded in the face of Marys threats (kind of understandable) but then in this strip
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/antagonize/
(and it might just be my interpretation as I am bias against Ruth) it almost seems as if shes blaming Carla for what happened so while not physically abusive it sounded like victim blaming against someone that probably has dealt with quite a bit of it in the past
So a proper apology might be in order
That was definitely victim blaming, and the way she left Carla to fend for herself largely negated the good will she’d earned with her immediate response to Mary’s shit.
Fleeing in the face of blackmail was understandable, even though it was shitty, but turning around and (however meekly) trying to scold Carla for “provoking” Mary was one of Ruth’s lower moments.
There is definitely an apology owed there.
There definitely is. But remember, while a direct apology never came, Ruth has at least shown very definite regret over that action:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/vampire/
She didn’t defend her from Mary, which was her job. I think she did try to apologize for it though.
That’s all I’ve got.
It was a bit of a weak non-apology, “I should have stood up for you but you’ve got to understand”
Beyond her general efforts to make everyone on the floor terrified of her, I don’t remember it happening either.
Unless you count throwing her under the bus where Mary was concerned.
Ok abuse may not have been the correct term however Ruth treated Carla shabbily, first in backing down against Mary, secondly when she blamed Carla for what happened and lastly for the apology that wasn’t really an apology
Ruth did not abuse Carla. She tried to help her, but then a bully with leverage stopped her. She tried to explain this to Carla, but she stormed off (albeit understandably, as she thought it was just an excuse. We [and now Carla] know it wasn’t).
Ruth went out of her way to continue to put the hurt on Mary as much as she could. At first she just told Carla that she could do anything to Mary and she would look the other way. Later on, she gave up the one thing making her happy–her relationship–and the one thing helping her cope–alcohol–in an attempt to remove the bully’s leverage, so she could report her.
All this, while actually dealing with crippling severe depression, and not being able to feel anything. Despite having every excuse to not do anything, she still fucking tried. The whole reason she went catatonic was that she was trying to help Carla.
It’s one thing to hate Ruth for the stuff she did early on, before she was fully characterized. She was abusive to everyone.
But she has never abused Carla. She has gone out of her way to help her.
If you know you’re biased, isn’t that the best time to take a step back and see if your inability to empathize is based on what actually happened? –
And, yeah, it’s personal, too. It’s so much fun being reminded that, even when I try my best to be good, if I say one thing out of line due to frustration of dealing with my mental illness on top of all the other streess, I will be judged as absolutely horrible.
I really wish this place were a true safe space.
As much as you and I have butted heads on a number of occasions, getting heated more than once, I have never been under the impression that you were a bad person.
It wasn’t one thing out of line it was a culmination of Ruths behaviours that led to this.
The physical violence, the threats, the harassment, the sexual harassment of Billie, the alcoholism, all that and more is what allowed Mary to threaten Ruth into impotence and leave Carla, potentially, unsafe and unprotected
Except none of that is what Mary was actually threatening Ruth with. It’s not even clear how much of it Mary knew or cared about.
She threatened Ruth with the relationship (not sexual harassment) with Billie and with letting Becky stay on the floor. Both rules violations, but not actually bad things – even considering how the relationship with Billie started.
The alcoholism did leave her more vulnerable, even though Mary apparently knew nothing of it, but the violence and bullying don’t appear to have played into the situation at all.
“If you know you’re biased, isn’t that the best time to take a step back and see if your inability to empathize is based on what actually happened?”
I’m biased so I’m going on what was put in the comic, Ruth stepped up to protect Carla but when Mary threatened Ruth, Ruth folded then blamed Carla for what happened and tried to explain why she let Mary get away with it
The problem is that you’re just kind of glossing over the “when Mary threatened Ruth” bit and skipping the fact that it was an actual credible threat.
Ok that’s a fair call but would you also accept that Ruth started to blame Carla for the incident and then tried to minimise her own actions by stating “but you have to understand”
She even brought the overals, right on time for their revival in street fashion