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The legendary early-aughts webcomic that inspired a wave of webcomic creators.
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Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
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2 Slices
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After a case of mistaken identity, will awkward Daisuke find help from excitable Mamo, or will his love life be thrown completely off track?
Beeserker
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This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
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Chandra is a 12-year-old accidental time traveler with a reluctant new dad, who happens to be a member of a feared galactic crime syndicate.
Countdown to Countdown
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Iris Black is a self-proclaimed inventor with the curious ability to bring his drawings to life, and yearns to find a space where he can use his powers freely.
Slightly Damned
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Rhea Snaketail returns from the dead, befriending a Demon who falls in love with an Angel. The afterlife ain't what it used to be!
Fantomestein
Beka Duke
Desperate for companionship, Frankenstein's Monster pretends to be the Opera Ghost. A grave mistake.
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
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Last time somebody asked me stuff while banging, he hit all of those questions in rapid succession:
“What are you charging for this again? Wait… why are you crying? You don’t have a cat allergy do you? Oh, the dead body in the corner? Just ignore that. Sometimes hookers just don’t know when to stop crying.”
…
There was a massive party last night at which your character got extremely drunk and fornicated with someone. Now, you must follow the Clue(s) and figure out who did it (and with whom).
I’ve watched people play this game in real life, and it is most amusing to watch them try to figure it out without alerting everyone at the party that they don’t know whose panties were on their head when they woke up.
A board game could be almost as interesting, provided it was played whilst partially inebriated.
The answer, Danny, is that you are, in fact, really pathetic. REALLY, really pathetic.
Though at least you are able to speak to women and don’t just curl up in a ball. Even if you lose every time, at least real words come out of your mouth.
So tell me, my little Danno. Where’s your justice now? Did your justice save you when King Immotep cast you into the den of irresponsible roommate? Did your Justice save you when your dear concubine left you in pursuit of the dark God mammon? Nay, I say unto you, your justice is false. Bow before my Gods danny boy, and all will be forgiven.
It’s time we showed the super silly sideshow swindlers what we really thing of them! You’re no super heroes. You’re Super Zeroes! Not that we should be surprised. These “Super heroes”, they don’t have to wait for an invitation. They go where they want when they want. They get special treatment since they’re the “Good Guys, right? Of course they are! And I’m sure they can account for the fact that since their so called “Justice league” formed, white collar crime is up 3%! Or maybe they’d like to explain whey on their watch fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce, and the other fifty percent in death!
Unlike the rest of us who work hard to provide for our loved ones, they claim to do what they do for less selfish reasons! Quotes The Green Lantern “We’re above all that”. That’s right! You heard it folkes, straight from the source. The Just Us League says they’re better than you!
We’re outta time. Tomorrow, more of the hard truth You Wanna Hear!
Danny: “All I got was this autographed condom… OF JUSTICE! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE, I SHALL STRIKE DOWN ALL WHO WORSHIP EVIL WITH MY MIGHTY, JUST (and protected) HAMMER! ALL SHALL FEEL MY POWERFUL THRUSTS OF JUSTICE!”
So, I guess I need a wordpress account to comment on shortpacked now? Is that temporary? Am I gonna need an account for DoA comments soon? What’s happening there?
Me if I ever see Tony Hawk: Hey you’re Tony Hawk the famous skateboarder. That’s right I recognise you. Won’t be able to get any content out of this will you, you piece of shit
How to read all 28 issues of my Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane run on Marvel Unlimited:
1: The first four issues were published as the miniseries "Mary Jane."
www.marvel.com/comics/serie...
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it!
also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad
If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
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A question I have asked myself many times.
Who hasn’t asked that at some point in their loves?
‘In their loves’?
I don’t think I’ve ever asked a lady a question while banging.
Really? Not even “what do you charge for this again?”, or “why are you crying?”, or “you don’t have a cat allergy, do you?”
Seriously, though, try it sometime. She’ll probably let you do kinkier stuff if you ask first.
Last time somebody asked me stuff while banging, he hit all of those questions in rapid succession:
“What are you charging for this again? Wait… why are you crying? You don’t have a cat allergy do you? Oh, the dead body in the corner? Just ignore that. Sometimes hookers just don’t know when to stop crying.”
I’m not a hooker.
Wow, I normally have to say something to a girl before I’m given that information – like “Hello.”
Who needs social norms on comment sections of
webcomics. We just go straight for the penis.
I know what you mean. Dead hookers in the corner make me horny too.
A nickel, obviously.
Because you could USE IT DANNO
There’s a special level of hell reserved for you for that glorious pun, Willis.
And that level is filled with Cake. LOTS AND LOTS OF CAKE.
Is this pun too clever for an average pun pusher as myself? Cause I don’t see it.
Ohhh for the title of the comic. Nevermind
*facepalm*
You got condom all over your face.
Because it needs to be done:
Don’t you mean FAAAAAAAAACE?
I really have to stop setting that up for people.
It leaves me with egg on my… butt.
For a nickel? With your penis?
C’mon, we gotta have the trifecta here.
B ] Its a slight possibility.
You can’t beat a celebrity, even a sex celeb.
I suspect you can beat Roz…she’ll even ask you to!
With your penis.
For a nickel
On camera
For a Nickel
In the Library.
I would play this version of Clue.
…
There was a massive party last night at which your character got extremely drunk and fornicated with someone. Now, you must follow the Clue(s) and figure out who did it (and with whom).
Yeah, I think it would sell
Lesharo – yes.
I’ve watched people play this game in real life, and it is most amusing to watch them try to figure it out without alerting everyone at the party that they don’t know whose panties were on their head when they woke up.
A board game could be almost as interesting, provided it was played whilst partially inebriated.
Thats for you to use Danny.
With your penis.
For use during sex. Silly Danny.
Wow, it’s an entirely appropriate and hilarious use of “with my/your penis”. Bravo.
i kind of want one of those myself, and i dont’t care how i’d get it
I’ll be happy to sign a condom for you.
With your penis?
that’s fine
New item for the store, Willis: Character Autographed Condoms
The answer, Danny, is that you are, in fact, really pathetic. REALLY, really pathetic.
Though at least you are able to speak to women and don’t just curl up in a ball. Even if you lose every time, at least real words come out of your mouth.
…Your avatar makes this funnier.
Danno, you do realize we can hear your inner monologue?
0_0
^_^
Roz is telling you that she thinks you’re a dick.
or that she’s thinking of his dick…
Because she also still believes in justice.
A HARD THROBBING JUSTICE!
And now, I can’t help but be reminded of:
“Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled Soiled JUS-TICE.”
“…and where are my pants?”
someone needs to edit a fifth panel with this, like, now.
http://i669.photobucket.com/albums/vv60/gangler52/2011-05-18-hancock.png?t=1305696072
Let it be written and recorded in all homes, and passed on in tellings of the story to future generations, that Dan has in fact, misplaced his pants.
http://oi52.tinypic.com/alhvs9.jpg
You’re welcome.
thank-you, Both of you. equaly awsomely hilarious.
So tell me, my little Danno. Where’s your justice now? Did your justice save you when King Immotep cast you into the den of irresponsible roommate? Did your Justice save you when your dear concubine left you in pursuit of the dark God mammon? Nay, I say unto you, your justice is false. Bow before my Gods danny boy, and all will be forgiven.
“There’s no justice. There’s just us.”
It’s time we showed the super silly sideshow swindlers what we really thing of them! You’re no super heroes. You’re Super Zeroes! Not that we should be surprised. These “Super heroes”, they don’t have to wait for an invitation. They go where they want when they want. They get special treatment since they’re the “Good Guys, right? Of course they are! And I’m sure they can account for the fact that since their so called “Justice league” formed, white collar crime is up 3%! Or maybe they’d like to explain whey on their watch fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce, and the other fifty percent in death!
Unlike the rest of us who work hard to provide for our loved ones, they claim to do what they do for less selfish reasons! Quotes The Green Lantern “We’re above all that”. That’s right! You heard it folkes, straight from the source. The Just Us League says they’re better than you!
We’re outta time. Tomorrow, more of the hard truth You Wanna Hear!
You can’t write on condoms!
Maybe if your school had an STD fair, you’d know that.
Your school’s STD fair handed out unwrapped condoms?
“Here, kid. Have a balloon. A special balloon.”
Goddamn it. I was making a Community reference.
You put it on your penis…for a nickel
Not even with a felt tip marker?
I think she signed the wrapping, not the condom itself.
Those condom wrappers are pretty much impossible to write on.
If only they coulkd apply that technology as an anti-graffiti measure.
When condoms fail, taggers are sometimes the result.
Magic, Danny, magic.
Based on “adult” movies, I assumed condoms usually appear by magic.
You mean they don’t? Man, my boyfriends been lying to me…
Danny: “All I got was this autographed condom… OF JUSTICE! IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE, I SHALL STRIKE DOWN ALL WHO WORSHIP EVIL WITH MY MIGHTY, JUST (and protected) HAMMER! ALL SHALL FEEL MY POWERFUL THRUSTS OF JUSTICE!”
“…the hammer is my penis”
is the first thing that came to mind reading that.
thankyouforyourtime
“I am the boner of my sword.”
So, I guess I need a wordpress account to comment on shortpacked now? Is that temporary? Am I gonna need an account for DoA comments soon? What’s happening there?
Oh, I guess that went away. Not sure what was going on there, but it seems to have fixed itself. No worries ^^
Quick! Go back and you can make it a used condom!
Han… cock… Ooooooh.
I get it.
Duh…the shadowy guy in the background is Will Smith.
Yeah Danny, what happened?
the gravatar does it for me.
…this is too perfect.
Indeed.
If Danny stopped to think about this, an outed Joe is more likely to brag about this than anything else.
He’ll probably on Dortothy during his interview.
Oh no. NO!
DORTHYXJOE GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Please tell us that early gag was not actually foreshadowing Willis.
I’m sorry, he’ll probably *what* on Dorothy? Guess the missing word and win a hunnerd dollas!
Joe’d? Joeing? Joesterbating?
I’m sorry – the slip of paper the duck has in his bill has the word “come”.
Oh, ick.
That’s what happens when you try to take on internet sex celebreties.
Roz was just thanking the cameraman who made all of this possible.
This strip has the best title ever.
I call Danny/Background Guy Rule 34.
It’s not good rule 34 until you have at least 5 !’s. For instance:
FrenchMaid!TentacleMonster!Female!Danny/Crossdressing!Bondage!BackgroundGuy
This discussion makes me want to see a rule 34’d meeting between Walkyverse Mike and Dumbiverse Mike.
They say angry sex is the best.
It’s looking like angry threesomes now
Boy, those guys in the background sure are walking slow.
lol!
A WIZARD DID IT.
Roz is a Silence?
Naw, if she was….oh. Yeah, Roz is totally a Silence