Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Lived

by David M Willis on September 6, 2017 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Face the Strange
└ Tags: jennifer, malaya, sal

Discussion (299) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    September 6, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

    WHAT A TWEEST

    I guess Sal will see more of Marcie tho?

    • Arawn
      Arawn
      September 6, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

      Maybe Malaya is just hel… helpin… helping someone? No that doesn’t sound quite right. I’m sorry, I wanted to believe in a chance that Malaya could have been helping someone else move in but from what I know of Malaya she doesn’t really do the helpful thing all that often.

      • Andy
        Andy
        September 6, 2017 at 12:51 am | #

        Malaya saw a room that was being moved out of and a nerdy girl ready to move in so she kicked the nerdy girl, stole her stuff, and is contemplating stealing her room, too.

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 6, 2017 at 7:04 am | #

          Nah, Malaya has a secret crush on Sal. Look how long she spent practicing her first line.

          • BagFaceMan
            BagFaceMan
            September 6, 2017 at 3:09 pm | #

            I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic or not, but I swear I’ll eat my hat if you’re right.

            • TheGrammarLegionary
              TheGrammarLegionary
              September 6, 2017 at 6:27 pm | #

              Not sure about the crush, but that line was DEFINITELY rehearsed. And if I’m not wrong, Malaya and Marcie have been getting pretty close, because that’s a hell of a shot at Sal’s past; difficult to make entirely by accident.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          September 6, 2017 at 5:30 pm | #

          Want to bet half the things in those suitcases (and probably the suitcases themselves) are Lucy’s?

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      September 6, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

      Man, it’s going to be awkward when Marcia breaks up with Malaya.

      • BigDogLittleCat
        BigDogLittleCat
        September 6, 2017 at 12:36 am | #

        Did Marcie ever get together with Malaya? I thought she was avoiding Sal because she was mad that Sal started the fight. (Whether Sal actually started it is a diffent question.)

        • segnosaur
          segnosaur
          September 6, 2017 at 1:41 am | #

          At this point I don’t even think we know if Malaya is gay.

          • C.T Phipps
            C.T Phipps
            September 6, 2017 at 1:57 am | #

            She’s robosexual so, presumably, that’s over all universes.

            • TemperaryObsessor
              TemperaryObsessor
              September 6, 2017 at 8:12 am | #

              If memory serves she appears to prefer women to men and she appears to like robots. There is also a good chance that she finds other people wanting something sexual from her to be a turn off.

          • Smiling Cat
            Smiling Cat
            September 6, 2017 at 2:56 am | #

            Interpreting data from one universe over, she appears to be predominantly, but not exclusively, heterosexual. Though personality seems to be a more significant trigger than gender.

            • Smiling Cat
              Smiling Cat
              September 6, 2017 at 2:56 am | #

              Expanding on it, one might call her spite-sexual.

            • Andrew_C
              Andrew_C
              September 6, 2017 at 6:28 am | #

              Well we know she was obsessed by Leslie and in a relationship with Carla/Robo Car, so I think her sexuality is more complicated than that

              • Socks
                Socks
                September 6, 2017 at 9:38 am | #

                Well, her sexuality pretty explicitly didn’t include wanting to kiss or perform sex acts upon women, so I’m thinking Marcie (whose words on the matter have been “I want to hit that” and “fuck”) is gonna be disappointed either way.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  September 6, 2017 at 11:45 pm | #

                  On the other hand, UC was a woman and Malaya VERY MUCH wanted to perform sex on her.

                  I’m thinking it’s less a ‘no ladies’ and more a ‘Malaya = demi’.

            • Fart Captor
              Fart Captor
              September 6, 2017 at 11:59 pm | #

              She was in romantic relationships with two different women, and only went on a few dates with men, but you think she was more attracted to men? I’m not sure I understand the math you’re doing there

              • Smiling Cat
                Smiling Cat
                September 7, 2017 at 5:27 pm | #

                You might want to look up the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. She explicitly stated her lack of sexual interest in leslie. She also rather quickly hopped into the closet with a male at a movie theater (not a value judgment, simply an indication that she was sexually attracted to him). In the case of Ultra-Car, she was pretty clearly attracted to her personality, not her gender (I called it “spite sexual” earlier).

                • Fart Captor
                  Fart Captor
                  September 8, 2017 at 1:03 am | #

                  …And then there was Ultra-Car, who she absolutely wanted to bang the ever-living shit out of, making it really weird how you keep insisting that Malaya wasn’t physically attracted to her as a woman. It was more interest than she ever had shown in another person of any gender.

                  She seemed to be some variety of demisexual, but also bisexual.

  2. Spring
    Spring
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    TWIST!

    • Thor
      Thor
      September 6, 2017 at 12:16 am | #

      I know, right? Who would have thought that the best character in the strip would be moving in to take a larger role, more befitting of her awesomeness?

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        September 6, 2017 at 1:08 am | #

        *Raises hand.* Do wishes count?

      • Joe Covenant
        Joe Covenant
        September 6, 2017 at 7:32 am | #

        Of course, we’re talking about SAL here, yeah??

  3. A lone shoggie
    A lone shoggie
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    HO SHI-

    • Eyebrow
      Eyebrow
      September 6, 2017 at 9:17 am | #

      This is just cruel. Sal really does not need this.

      Even Marcie does not need this.

      I don’t think Sal has ever found a way to deal with Malaya, even without the actual love-triangle issue. Sal will have to grow or be defeated.

  4. CandidCanid
    CandidCanid
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    I KNEW IT

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:16 am | #

      Certain things are inevitable, even when they are not.

  5. Poskie
    Poskie
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    oh christ this is gonna be a real trip

  6. Yumi
    Yumi
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Ayyyyyy

    Cookies for everyone who called it.
    And yeast donuts.

    • TheOthin
      TheOthin
      September 6, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

      Man, I saw a comment suggesting that and thought “no way, Sal would know by now and have said something”. Welp.

      • Jon Rich
        Jon Rich
        September 6, 2017 at 1:27 am | #

        Paperwork is Sal’s Kryptonite.

        • Jon Rich
          Jon Rich
          September 6, 2017 at 1:27 am | #

          Oh God, I’m *Mary?!* Nooooo…..

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            September 6, 2017 at 2:18 am | #

            psst… Capitalize a letter of your email address…

            • Positron
              Positron
              September 6, 2017 at 6:34 am | #

              Or just change it on Gravatar, make up a spiffy one of your own

              • Br44n5m
                Br44n5m
                September 6, 2017 at 10:36 pm | #

                It’s fun to make your own gravatar, it could even have a phone!

  7. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Well…I guess Willis was lying when he said nobody would be murdered in this comic…

    • butting
      butting
      September 6, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

      It’s not murder when someone dies of natural causes.

    • James
      James
      September 6, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

      It’s not murder, Malaya will just accidentally run into Sal’s knife.
      Ten times.

      • otusasio451
        otusasio451
        September 6, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

        SHE HAD IT COMIN’
        SHE HAD IT COMIN’
        SHE HAD IT COMIN’ ALL ALONG

        • Cholma
          Cholma
          September 6, 2017 at 12:44 am | #

          If you had been there
          If you had seen it
          I betcha you would’ve done the same!

          • Michael Chandra
            Michael Chandra
            September 6, 2017 at 12:52 am | #

            No no.

            I didn’t do it
            But if I did it
            How could you tell me that I was wrong

        • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
          ǝ snow ʍousɐ
          September 6, 2017 at 6:37 pm | #

          you never see it comiiing

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        September 6, 2017 at 7:17 am | #

        Pretty damn unnatural not to die after that.

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 6, 2017 at 7:31 am | #

          But it was only a phone,

          • Br44n5m
            Br44n5m
            September 6, 2017 at 10:38 pm | #

            Nokias are just too hard to break, people shouldn’t be falling on them!

  8. Miguel
    Miguel
    September 6, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Hey there Malaya, what’s it like in New York City…..

  9. BBCC
    BBCC
    September 6, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Can’t stop laughing!

  10. Bladeglory
    Bladeglory
    September 6, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    …Somebody really wants a murder to take place in this hall before the end of the semester, huh.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      September 6, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

      *points at Willis* I think it’s that guy. He’s the one that put people that hate each other in the same rooms. Something about “narrative foils” and “mass suffering”.

      Damn that guy.

    • darkgloomie
      darkgloomie
      September 6, 2017 at 2:33 am | #

      Betcha the author wants to retool this into a murder mystery. After all he’s alreasy done the slice-of-life thing, the sci-fi thing, the setting doesn’t lend itself to the fantasy thing, so what’s left?

      • Andy
        Andy
        September 6, 2017 at 9:01 pm | #

        Every setting lends itself to fantasy. Just add magic.

  11. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    September 6, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Mary gets a playmate!

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      September 6, 2017 at 2:21 am | #

      Isn’t that what Peter’s for?

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 6:18 am | #

        Not after Malaya steals him away.

  12. maxyai
    maxyai
    September 6, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    I am very happy right now.

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:21 am | #

      Well yeah, but that’s because you are a bad person. Like me.

  13. Streben
    Streben
    September 6, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Poor Sal. The world apparently loves to mess with her.

  14. sun tzu
    sun tzu
    September 6, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    HA! SUFFER, SAL! SUFFER! XD

    • Dellaran
      Dellaran
      September 6, 2017 at 1:43 am | #

      Appropriate gravatar is appropriate.

  15. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    September 6, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    That’s some tough talk from someone wearing a cropped hoodie that says “BAD” on it, Malaya.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      September 6, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

      Yeah, Malaya could just as easily be accused of “overhyped performative rebellion.”

    • Doki
      Doki
      September 6, 2017 at 7:13 am | #

      Not gonna lie, I kinda love your icon paired up with that comment. |D

  16. butts
    butts
    September 6, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    well SHIT

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 7:34 am | #

      Perfect avitar is perfect.

  17. Yumi
    Yumi
    September 6, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    Also, “overhyped performative rebellion,” Malaya you’re literally wearing a top that says “BAD.”

    • Speedball
      Speedball
      September 6, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

      Hey, in that case it’s an unironic label that means “Of Poor Quality.”

      • John Merklinghaus
        John Merklinghaus
        September 6, 2017 at 1:33 am | #

        When I saw your gratavar, I thought it was a crow at first, with all the talk of murder going on.

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 7:40 am | #

        That’s Malaya; Truth in advertising.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      September 6, 2017 at 1:13 am | #

      To be fair, Sal’s performative rebellion does have more hype. Why, I bet you couldn’t count her fangirls on two hands! Not to mention the guys.

      Malaya, as far as we’ve seen in this comic, has only the attention of Marcie and maybe Carla.

    • Thor
      Thor
      September 6, 2017 at 1:55 am | #

      “BAD” in this case is not Malaya fronting, but rather her favorite musical note sequence. Considering that this is the first three notes of Handel’s “Messiah” and Mozart’s “Ode to Joy”, this simple garment shows Malaya’s classical education, her hidden depths, and her navel, all at the same time.

      • Remmington Steele
        Remmington Steele
        September 6, 2017 at 2:51 am | #

        A fan of Big Audio Dynamite, perhaps?

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 7:25 am | #

        Wow! I think you could be right.

      • Egg
        Egg
        September 6, 2017 at 8:58 am | #

        They’re nonsequential, then :|a

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 6, 2017 at 10:57 am | #

          That’s what makes it subtle.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        September 6, 2017 at 10:58 am | #

        That was a very interesting musical analysis. Say, are you by any chance a descendant of PDQ Bach?

      • OBBWG
        OBBWG
        September 6, 2017 at 1:11 pm | #

        I thought you were wrong about “Mozart’s” Ode To Joy. I thought it was composed by Beethoven. But it turns outyou may have been right.

        • Khno
          Khno
          September 6, 2017 at 4:21 pm | #

          But Beethoven was given Mozart’s spirit, by the hands of Haydn…
          Mozart himself has been reorchestrating things written before him..
          and so on and so on….

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        September 6, 2017 at 4:11 pm | #

        You threw me there are first. The Ode to Joy I learned doesn’t start BAD, it is EEFG, however that is on guitar.

  18. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    September 6, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    I guess it might be worth it if it means Marcie stops blowing her off.

  19. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    September 6, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Honestly, I’m pretty sure people have left that room more often by the window than the actual door. :p

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      September 6, 2017 at 12:40 am | #

      Doors are for the week.

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        September 6, 2017 at 1:27 am | #

        It’s Wednesday, so Doors it is, I guess.
        https://youtu.be/K3CHi_9sxj0

  20. Mark
    Mark
    September 6, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    I’m just wondering if Sal ever takes those gloves off. That scar must really bother her.

    • Wind
      Wind
      September 6, 2017 at 1:04 am | #

      Whoa. I never connected Sal’s ever-present gloves to her knife wound. Makes sense!

    • Drakkin the Alien
      Drakkin the Alien
      September 6, 2017 at 1:08 am | #

      scar tissue of deep wounds tends to be pink, regardless of skin color. Also, the longer you cover the skin, more noticeable the color shade gap is going to be. think bikini tan lines, but in the hands. she would look like a dark cat with white paws (at least in her own eyes… ) 🙂

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        September 6, 2017 at 4:49 am | #

        Her skin isn’t tan from the sun, that’s her real colour. I’m sure the scar does bother her, though, and she wouldn’t like people asking about it.

        • Gwen
          Gwen
          September 6, 2017 at 5:53 pm | #

          People of color get tan lines too

  21. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    September 6, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Cue trombone music and iris out

  22. RacingTurtle
    RacingTurtle
    September 6, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Yessssssssssssss

    Also, +1 to everyone who made fun of Malaya’s hoodie in light of her judgy line up there.

  23. y3k
    y3k
    September 6, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    noooooooooooo

  24. RaisonDetriment
    RaisonDetriment
    September 6, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

    All together now:

    DAMMIT, MALAYA!!

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      September 6, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

      Woohoo! Malaya!

    • Fire_daws
      Fire_daws
      September 6, 2017 at 2:16 am | #

      No, it’s damnit Willis.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        September 6, 2017 at 2:28 am | #

        “Damn you, Willis!” and “goddammit, Malaya!”

  25. Optimal Optimus
    Optimal Optimus
    September 6, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

    Remind me… is there anything that is actually obnoxious about Malaya, or is Sal just mad because she stole her friend?

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      September 6, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

      Malaya’s a tactless jerk.

      Like, aggressively. That’s kinda her primary character trait.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      September 6, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

      I mean, her second strip ever had her loudly whine about not getting enough free alcohol.

    • Dana
      Dana
      September 6, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

      Malaya is one of my favorite characters. And so, so obnoxious.

    • Gesc
      Gesc
      September 6, 2017 at 1:18 am | #

      She’s a huge shit to the everyone ever. That we know of.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      September 6, 2017 at 1:29 am | #

      Yep, and she’s awesome.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      September 6, 2017 at 3:54 am | #

      Malaya is “the friend that nobody likes”. And in the immediate circle of Sal, Marcie, and Carla she is the most off-putting. We don’t even know why; the others are more important oners for at least some recognizable reason.

    • Sam
      Sam
      September 6, 2017 at 6:46 am | #

      Malaya is a tactless, mean and rude person to pretty much everyone with or without reason to be and seems proud to be that way. She is this way to everyone she dislikes, regardless of whether they are nice or mean or in between. She makes no effort to even be performatively neutral or less than outright mean to friends of friends and would completely shamelessly steal your friends then insult you over it (this has been her attitude towards Sal in past strips).

      There are plenty of reasons for Sal to hate her based on her personality. Plus, Sal stopped seeing her as a threat to her friendship with Marcie since talking to Marcie about it; her friend hasn’t been stolen from her at all to begin with even if Malaya would like to think she has stolen Sal’s only friend to spite her.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      September 6, 2017 at 8:19 am | #

      She doesn’t like Lucy.

      And if there’s any surer proof of evil, I don’t know what it could be.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        September 6, 2017 at 10:18 am | #

        If she doesn’t like Lucy, Joyce’s all-consuming sunniness will either bring Malaya around, or innocently destroy her*.

        (*I’m thinking of the effortless manner Clouseau had on his boss Dreyfus in the Pink Panther movies.)

  26. Renshear Blade
    Renshear Blade
    September 6, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    Hello Malaya Indeed!

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      September 6, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

      Ironically, I’m betting your avatar character is saying “Good riddance, Malaya.”

  27. (((Mkvenner)))
    (((Mkvenner)))
    September 6, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

    I have lost faith in chloe.

    • StClair
      StClair
      September 6, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

      When did you have any? Why?

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        September 6, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

        Seconded. Chloe’s previous actions would have been understandable (though not necessarily forgivable) if she were a front-line manager pushed into a situation above her pay grade. But she’s a professional, in a professional position, with professional training, and she screwed the pooch — and either she doesn’t realize that, or she doesn’t give a shit.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 6, 2017 at 1:32 am | #

      Chloe has done a crappy job of almost everything we have seen her do (ESPECIALLY everything that has to do with Ruth), but in this specific instant I’m not sure what she has done wrong. Why not room Sal with Malaya? She doesn’t know about their history, and as far as she knows they might have shared interests.

      • Abel Undercity
        Abel Undercity
        September 6, 2017 at 4:51 am | #

        I’m not sure “I really want to kick my new roomie’s behind” counts as a shared interest, though.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          September 6, 2017 at 5:36 am | #

          Sure it does – it’s bonding.

          No, seriously, you are right. It’s a disaster for them to share a room. But for once I don’t think Chloe could be expected to do anything more about it than she has already done.

          NEXT STEP is when Sal and Malaya simultaneously hand in a new transfer request. When THAT happens she should arse herself down to the dorm, talk to them and then ask around if anyone else is willing to switch room. And when she fails to do that (because of course she will) it will be her own fudge-up fair and square.

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            September 6, 2017 at 10:24 am | #

            Not to get all in-universe geeking, but, how does this work?

            It was mentioned earlier that Billie having to move bumped others down the list. Billie and Ruth’s circumstance was danged unique, with the power imbalance, medical intervention, and psych ward stay.

            But what normally happens? The person at the top of the list gets to choose where they go? Or the Chloe-level fellow just makes assignments? Or a sliding scale between these? What input do the students have here?

            (Disclaimer: I had had some random roomates in my college days. Some worked out, some didn’t. Lucky enough that all were realized as “not gonna work” rather than blame-throwing.)

  28. Cephalo the Pod
    Cephalo the Pod
    September 6, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

    On the plus side, perhaps Billie will soon believe in the integrity of Joyce’s friendliness towards her.

  29. Cmd1095
    Cmd1095
    September 6, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

    Sal you should know better than to say things like that, you brought this upon yourself

  30. All-Purpose Guru
    All-Purpose Guru
    September 6, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

    I knew it.

    First time Sal walks in on her and Marcie getting it on someone is going out the window.

    • NullSet
      NullSet
      September 6, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

      It’ll be Sal. It’s kinda her thing.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      September 6, 2017 at 1:18 am | #

      Silly Guru, she can’t walk in on them if she only enters via window.

  31. Keulen
    Keulen
    September 6, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

    Well, hats off to everyone who predicted Sal’s new roommate would be Malaya. Now it’s just a question of which one murders the other first.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      September 6, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

      Depends – think Marcie can stop Sal every time?

  32. TheAmazingKMan
    TheAmazingKMan
    September 6, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

    Out of ALL THE PEOPLE who could have roomed with her…

    • Kammon
      Kammon
      September 6, 2017 at 2:29 pm | #

      Eh, Malaya will be moving in with Carla eventually. So, who will Sal’s Next-Next room-mate be?

  33. Synnerman
    Synnerman
    September 6, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

    Oh God.

  34. Carms
    Carms
    September 6, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

    omg srsly? SHIIIT.
    OR, did Marcie get into to IU and Malaya is helping her move?
    Relly those are the two options i ges. malaya isn’t going to be helping anyone else

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      September 6, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

      I dunno, she might help out Lucy if it got her out faster.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        September 6, 2017 at 8:25 am | #

        That’s the other upside to this: sure, we’ll probably see even more of Malaya, but this should mean Billie’s moving in with Lucy, which means we’ll probably see her again!

  35. Mandy
    Mandy
    September 6, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

    Well shit. Maybe you shoulda looked at the paperwork, Sal.

  36. Sporky
    Sporky
    September 6, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

    WOMP WOMP

  37. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    September 6, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    ….and hijinks ensue….

    • Dellaran
      Dellaran
      September 6, 2017 at 1:47 am | #

      You misspelled ‘homicide’.

  38. Whatevsman
    Whatevsman
    September 6, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    Her hoodie (or at least what we can see of it) kinda says it all here, don’t it?

  39. Jesse
    Jesse
    September 6, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    The authorities never found Malaya’s body.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      September 6, 2017 at 10:26 am | #

      I know Faye from QC only made one guest appearance in DofA, but somehow everybody at IU knows all the best quarries to submerge bodies in, just like Faye does.

  40. bleepbloop
    bleepbloop
    September 6, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

    Rest in peace and pieces Malaya :/

    Then again, who knows! At least there’ll finally be a real roommate dymamic for Sal since, like the strip says, Billie and Sal basically never interacted.

  41. Tacos
    Tacos
    September 6, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

    Welp!

  42. Rectilinear Propagation
    Rectilinear Propagation
    September 6, 2017 at 12:26 am | #

    I think I insisted to someone that it didn’t make sense for anyone with an existing room assignment to show up here and I only JUST NOW realized that they likely forced Malaya to switch with Billie instead of just waiting for a room to open up.

    For some reason the whole (paraphrasing) “until Billie’s moved Chloe will handle any issues related to her” bit made me think they weren’t forcing the issue. I don’t know why, especially given how slow time moves in the comic. If they had to wait until the semester ended it would take forever in real time for Billie to actually move out.

    So apologies to whoever I left that reply to because IIRC they also called that it would be Malaya.

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:29 am | #

      See, what you don’t know is that Malaya volentered for the switch because she’s got a secret crush on Sal.

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        September 6, 2017 at 8:42 am | #

        That is simultaneously good news and very bad news for Marcie.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      September 6, 2017 at 8:28 am | #

      Malaya had probably put in a request to get away from Lucy. I doubt there was any forcing going on.
      I didn’t think it would be her because 1) too obvious and 2) I expected this to be where a couple of the new characters we’ve seen on Tumblr would show up.

  43. Lingo
    Lingo
    September 6, 2017 at 12:27 am | #

    This probably also means Billie is rooming with Lucy, which: sweet!

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      September 6, 2017 at 12:30 am | #

      I hope this means we’ll see more of Lucy in future strips.

      • Lingo
        Lingo
        September 6, 2017 at 12:36 am | #

        Lucy is like a nerdy version of Joyce’s clingy friendliness. She’ll drive Billie batty.

        • Scar Man!!!
          Scar Man!!!
          September 6, 2017 at 9:37 am | #

          She’s probably gonna bully poor Lucy actively

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      September 6, 2017 at 12:38 am | #

      Other observations:
      (1) With Mike, Ruth, Carla, and now Malaya, this dorm is sure filling up with jerks.
      (2) There is a character model of Zaph on Willis’s Tumblr. I’m beginning to wonder if Billie’s new dorm will be the “McAwesome’s” to this dorm’s “Shortpacked!”.

      • Carms
        Carms
        September 6, 2017 at 12:48 am | #

        Mary doesn’t count as a jerk?
        and her new boyf, too…

        • Lingo
          Lingo
          September 6, 2017 at 12:55 am | #

          I try not to remember Mary….

          • Clif
            Clif
            September 6, 2017 at 6:31 am | #

            Understandable.

        • Koms
          Koms
          September 6, 2017 at 1:36 am | #

          Mary and Peter are on an entirely different level of jerkiness .

      • UniqueSnowflake2
        UniqueSnowflake2
        September 6, 2017 at 1:10 am | #

        Is Zaph Faz’s good twin?

        • Lingo
          Lingo
          September 6, 2017 at 9:22 pm | #

          Yes!

      • Lingo
        Lingo
        September 6, 2017 at 9:33 pm | #

        (3) I wonder if Billie will leave, still believing Sal to be Amazi-Girl.

  44. Rukdug
    Rukdug
    September 6, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

    See Sal. This is why you always read the paperwork. Several times just to be sure. So you aren’t surprised when something like this happens.

  45. BigDogLittleCat
    BigDogLittleCat
    September 6, 2017 at 12:30 am | #

    Noooooooooooooooo!

  46. Dean
    Dean
    September 6, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

    Dat eye twitch.

  47. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    September 6, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

    Coming soon A MURDER

    • Pl0x
      Pl0x
      September 6, 2017 at 12:57 am | #

      I hope so.

      • Pl0x
        Pl0x
        September 6, 2017 at 12:58 am | #

        Of Malaya, specifically.

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          September 6, 2017 at 1:21 am | #

          Pretty sure Mary’s still in line.

          • TrueVCU
            TrueVCU
            September 6, 2017 at 5:15 pm | #

            No cuts

            • TheGrammarLegionary
              TheGrammarLegionary
              September 6, 2017 at 6:40 pm | #

              Actually, probably a lot of cuts…

  48. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    September 6, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

    Given the sliding timescale, we sometimes speculate on how quickly (or not) specific hardware or specific games will age. This is the first time I’ve wondered whether a specific word — “performative” — will sound in five years.

    Of course, it’s a perfectly valid and useful word in academic contexts. But — and I’m sure I’m behind the curve on this — it’s only in the last couple of months that I’ve heard it used in conversation that took place outside of an academic context.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      September 6, 2017 at 1:07 am | #

      I’ve also seen it already start to get bastardized so it’s going to be a long wait to see if it sticks.

  49. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    September 6, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

    Hell. Yes. Thank you Willis!

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 7:47 am | #

      You mispelled “Damn”

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        September 6, 2017 at 9:18 am | #

        I like Malaya.

  50. brasca1
    brasca1
    September 6, 2017 at 12:37 am | #

    I’m a bit disappointed. I was hoping an old character we haven’t seen in this universe would be arriving.

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      September 6, 2017 at 12:39 am | #

      Someone in particular in mind?

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      September 6, 2017 at 12:40 am | #

      Really, who’s left?

      • Nono
        Nono
        September 6, 2017 at 12:48 am | #

        As far as girls go, not many. Guns, I think that’s it.

        • C.
          C.
          September 6, 2017 at 1:19 am | #

          And Willis is all NO GUNS AT ALL

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      September 6, 2017 at 12:42 am | #

      Wen?

      • Lingo
        Lingo
        September 6, 2017 at 9:23 pm | #

        Sun 😉

    • VeryCreativeUsername
      VeryCreativeUsername
      September 6, 2017 at 5:19 am | #

      Maybe Billie will have a new character for a roommate.

  51. Dave
    Dave
    September 6, 2017 at 12:38 am | #

    YAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

  52. Dev
    Dev
    September 6, 2017 at 12:39 am | #

    oh no

  53. Harvey Janus
    Harvey Janus
    September 6, 2017 at 12:41 am | #

    Oh yay. Welcome back Malaya -through gritted teeth- It’s so nice to see you again.

  54. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    September 6, 2017 at 12:42 am | #

    OH DANG

    I think I would’ve preferred seeing Lucy and Sal’s dynamic since we already get Sal and Malaya interactions elsewhere.

  55. Deadjolras
    Deadjolras
    September 6, 2017 at 12:47 am | #

    Does this mean Sal will start using the door from now on or will she continue climbing through windows (snatching your Marcies up)?

    • merbrat
      merbrat
      September 6, 2017 at 10:52 am | #

      She will go back to sleeping at the picnic table.

  56. zoelogical
    zoelogical
    September 6, 2017 at 12:47 am | #

    -cackling-

  57. Terry
    Terry
    September 6, 2017 at 12:48 am | #

    “Take me with you.” – Sal

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:34 am | #

      Actually, Billie will really be living in Ruth’s room, so Sal could move in with Lucy.

  58. Pl0x
    Pl0x
    September 6, 2017 at 12:52 am | #

    Godammit, I really really hate Malaya.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 6, 2017 at 5:20 am | #

      You and Sal both!

      • Sam
        Sam
        September 6, 2017 at 6:50 am | #

        And me!

  59. John
    John
    September 6, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

    Goddammit Malaya.

  60. Michael Chandra
    Michael Chandra
    September 6, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

    WHELP

  61. Ivy
    Ivy
    September 6, 2017 at 12:59 am | #

    I love her.

  62. MrSpkr
    MrSpkr
    September 6, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

    Sonit smells like teen spirit?

  63. Bagge
    Bagge
    September 6, 2017 at 1:10 am | #

    And thus, Sal went out through the window and was never seen again.

  64. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    September 6, 2017 at 1:12 am | #

    Here’s the unfired Checkhov’s Gun in the room that we might never find out about.

    We know why Billie has to move. We know why Sal is getting a new roommate.

    What we don’t know is this: why did Malaya move from her previous room? Was Lucy so awful (Malaya’s word, not mine) that Malaya was willing to roll the dorm dice blindly?

    And if this is a swap, that means that Billie and Lucy are going to be roommates. I can’t imagine that Billie will see this as an improvement, but then I imagine that Billie will still be spending her nights in Ruth’s room.

    Also: are we going to see more Lucy? I would like that, because Lucy is so adorkable she gives me the squees. But she’s not a main cast character, and her function seems to be mostly to provide levity, so I’m guessing no.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 6, 2017 at 2:07 am | #

      My guess is that Malaya and Billie are being swapped and Billie will be living with Lucy from now on. I wonder if she’ll enjoy living with a woman with many of the qualities of a female Walky?

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 6:37 am | #

        She’ll feel right at home.

      • Emily
        Emily
        September 6, 2017 at 7:27 am | #

        How on Earth is Lucy in any way a female Walky? In her four panels of screentime she’s given zero evidence of being a poorly groomed woman-child.

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 6, 2017 at 7:58 am | #

          There were previous comics. Which you can read if you choose. But yeah, the analogy is less than perfect.

        • Socks
          Socks
          September 6, 2017 at 9:48 am | #

          In the ways Billie would care about, they’re both annoying nerds? I doubt Billie sees much distinction between young justice and dexter and monkey master, or between adorable fandom and… whatever it is walky does.

        • segnosaur
          segnosaur
          September 6, 2017 at 11:31 am | #

          I feel the same way. If anything, Lucy is like Joyce, or if you had to pick a male counterpart, maybe Danny. (i.e. both eager for friendship/approval from others and willing to help others.)

  65. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    September 6, 2017 at 1:13 am | #

    I can feel disturbance, I think Yotomoe just died somewhere out of joy.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 6, 2017 at 1:27 am | #

      Or possibly Sal just died because of… yeah, not joy.

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 6:38 am | #

        On the upside, Malaya sounds cheerful.

  66. Ellegos
    Ellegos
    September 6, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

    ah ha. Ha ha. AhHaHaHAHAHA!

  67. Vi
    Vi
    September 6, 2017 at 1:16 am | #

    I’m really sad that Marcie and Sal haven’t been seeing each other still, honestly… I understand the reasons Marcie is mad at her, but they love each other so much and have been friends so long and I really want them to make up.

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 7:59 am | #

      You mispelled ” out “.

      • Gwen
        Gwen
        September 6, 2017 at 6:01 pm | #

        … pretty sure Sal is straight. As a queer woman with plenty of straight female friends, I appreciate depictions of friendship that acknowledge that being queer doesn’t disqualify you from having platonic friendships with straight people of your same gender.

  68. Emoroffle
    Emoroffle
    September 6, 2017 at 1:21 am | #

    Looks like someone else will be getting stabbed on campus.

  69. Gesc
    Gesc
    September 6, 2017 at 1:22 am | #

    And so it begins Sal’s habit of sleeping anywhere but in her room. Or rather, it continues? I take it she’s likely to just avoid sharing a space with Malaya rather than straight up shank her. I mean, that would solve the issue short term.

  70. Torra
    Torra
    September 6, 2017 at 2:02 am | #

    Yesssssssssssss

    I was hoping this would happen and it did

  71. CJ
    CJ
    September 6, 2017 at 2:04 am | #

    Really, did Malaya apply for a switch or was she only the most badly connected person who could be force-switched on admins whims?

    This will end with Billie sleeping at Ruth’s and Sal sleeping in Billie’s Bed, won’t it?

    • Gaia
      Gaia
      September 6, 2017 at 5:06 am | #

      Unless Billies new roommate is… dun dun duh!

  72. BenRG
    BenRG
    September 6, 2017 at 2:06 am | #

    This is could be intensely good for Sal and Malaya: They might be forced by simple necessity to learn to deal with each other like rational adults and not react to each other like jealous and adversarial children. Alternately (and slightly more likely), it is going to be intensely bad for them: Their basically incompatible personalities will drive them to distraction and, possibly, violence.

    Well, if nothing else, having her GF in Sal’s room will probably give Marcie reason to visit and maybe Sal can try to rebuild bridges with her.

    • Danni
      Danni
      September 6, 2017 at 2:23 am | #

      im betting on the cops being called twice a week to break them up.

    • Sam
      Sam
      September 6, 2017 at 7:00 am | #

      I am voting for this to go intensely bad.

  73. Beachfox
    Beachfox
    September 6, 2017 at 2:15 am | #

    *points*
    *Pod Person Screeching Noise*

    • Beachfox
      Beachfox
      September 6, 2017 at 2:23 am | #

      Malaya: Thank god, I’ve finally escaped that clingy, uber-cheerful, walking Lisa Frank-style anthropomorphised suger-smile.

      Joyce: *Bursting through wall* NEW FRIEND HAS ARRIVED!

      Sal: *Nelson Laugh*

      • Danni
        Danni
        September 6, 2017 at 2:25 am | #

        how long before malaya learns to not piss off joyce?

        • ValdVin
          ValdVin
          September 6, 2017 at 4:09 am | #

          Pissing off Joyce? As a natural act of Malaya’s personality I see it happening, as a tactic it may well fail.

          Malaya will get extra morning hugs whether she wants them or not. The cure will be worse than the proverbial kill.

  74. Danni
    Danni
    September 6, 2017 at 2:22 am | #

    malayas a complete bongo

  75. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    September 6, 2017 at 2:35 am | #

    “Of all the rooms in all the dorms you had to walk into mine.”

  76. Shiro
    Shiro
    September 6, 2017 at 2:37 am | #

    Your snark is betrayed somewhat by your choice of a hoodie reading BAD, Malaya.

    I had a teeny Malaya at work the other day, she was much nicer than the DoA version.

  77. Shariku
    Shariku
    September 6, 2017 at 2:57 am | #

    Aw, i wanted a new character…

    • VeryCreativeUsername
      VeryCreativeUsername
      September 6, 2017 at 5:14 am | #

      Me too, pal, me too.

  78. Ruthmost
    Ruthmost
    September 6, 2017 at 3:08 am | #

    Billie will get along great with Malaya’s ex-roommate…

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/lucy/

  79. Archivist
    Archivist
    September 6, 2017 at 3:14 am | #

    My brain is too mired in the Walkyverse for it to feel normal that Sal and Malaya are the same age.

  80. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    September 6, 2017 at 4:01 am | #

    Aaaaayyyy!

  81. Lamppost
    Lamppost
    September 6, 2017 at 4:12 am | #

    I don’t know what I expected… also this is my first time commenting and I wonder what my Gravatar will be

    • Lamppost
      Lamppost
      September 7, 2017 at 12:14 pm | #

      Okay I spent a disproportionate amount of time researching who that is and I would like a new one please

  82. Darkoneko
    Darkoneko
    September 6, 2017 at 4:21 am | #

    Oh my gods.

    • Gaia
      Gaia
      September 6, 2017 at 5:04 am | #

      I had NOTHING to do with this!

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 6:41 am | #

        We know what you did.

  83. Ivresse
    Ivresse
    September 6, 2017 at 4:24 am | #

    *sigh* God dammit, Willis…

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:43 am | #

      No, no. You’re supposed to shake your fist at the heavens when you do that.

      • Ivresse
        Ivresse
        September 6, 2017 at 7:22 am | #

        *still sighing, eyes closed, but raises a fist in reluctance and shakes it a little* God dammit, Willis…

        • Clif
          Clif
          September 6, 2017 at 8:03 am | #

          Much better. The foundations of our reality are restored.

  84. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    September 6, 2017 at 4:41 am | #

    This is going to be a bloodbath…

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 6, 2017 at 6:32 am | #

      On the other hand, it could give Ruth leverage against Chloe:

      “You DO know those two despise each other to the point of violence, don’t you? What, you were so eager to do my grandfather’s bidding that you didn’t do even the vaguest compatibility checks? Wow! The Dean’s going to love this one! How many violent incidents this semester already?”

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        September 6, 2017 at 7:16 am | #

        Oh this could be quite neat, not sure if Ruth is in the right state of mind to pull a Xanatos like this…

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        September 6, 2017 at 11:02 am | #

        Not really. Assigned roommates hating each other is hardly uncommon, even without a personal history between them.

        Keeping residents from murdering each other is kinda the RA’s primary function, so I kinda doubt that would work. Especially if IU is the sort of college that deliberately puts people together to force them to get along

  85. Gaia
    Gaia
    September 6, 2017 at 5:03 am | #

    Dose this mean Sal has to stand outside while her rommie and best friend has it going on!? 😀

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:44 am | #

      Only if they remember to put a sock in the window.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      September 6, 2017 at 8:31 am | #

      If it means she’ll see more of Marcie, she’ll put up with it.

      • Gaia
        Gaia
        September 6, 2017 at 2:03 pm | #

        Dose she want to see that much of Marcie?

  86. Eternus Somnus
    Eternus Somnus
    September 6, 2017 at 5:07 am | #

    As Kevin Hart once said:

    Its About To Go Down…..

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      September 6, 2017 at 7:56 am | #

      Place your bets!

  87. Nope
    Nope
    September 6, 2017 at 5:39 am | #

    Well luckily Sal is never in her room anyway.

  88. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    September 6, 2017 at 5:46 am | #

    Well played, Willis. Well played…

    *steeples fingers* Now, have Malaya invite Marcie over for a makeout session while Sal watches.

    • Scar Man!!!
      Scar Man!!!
      September 6, 2017 at 9:33 am | #

      POPCORN, GET YOUR POPCORN! CAN’T WATCH A YOUNG WOMAN LITERALLY EXPLODE WITHOUT SOME DEEELICIOUS POPCOOORN!

  89. Dariu55
    Dariu55
    September 6, 2017 at 6:08 am | #

    Welp. This is going to go GREAT.

  90. foducool
    foducool
    September 6, 2017 at 6:30 am | #

    you had to jinx it lmfao

    that eye twitch, tho XD

  91. L!ghtn!ng
    L!ghtn!ng
    September 6, 2017 at 6:43 am | #

    OMG, how did I not see this coming when Sarah said Billie’s replacement would be even worse? Tremendous!

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 6:46 am | #

      Appropriate gravater is appropriate.

  92. Clif
    Clif
    September 6, 2017 at 7:00 am | #

    This is really going to be awkward for Marcie.

  93. Emily
    Emily
    September 6, 2017 at 7:21 am | #

    Malaya is terrible but her being completely unimpressed with Sal’s rebel without a cause shtick is the best.

    • CJ
      CJ
      September 6, 2017 at 2:31 pm | #

      She has a cause. Several, in fact.
      And I’d really like,to know the back stories of Marcie’s dumbness. I suspect it’s one of the causes…

  94. Sdrainbow
    Sdrainbow
    September 6, 2017 at 7:23 am | #

    I never expected to like Malaya, but wow. Here we are.

  95. sliveredtongue
    sliveredtongue
    September 6, 2017 at 7:44 am | #

    And the next person to apply for a room transfer is Sal.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      September 6, 2017 at 9:29 am | #

      Sal & Joyce as The New Roomies 2k18!

  96. some guy
    some guy
    September 6, 2017 at 7:45 am | #

    This is why we read alllll the agreements

  97. Badeyes
    Badeyes
    September 6, 2017 at 8:16 am | #

    I can’t believe she actually tossed that challenge out, and got such an immediate response. Oh wait, the higher power here is Willis… should probably have expected it.

  98. Spencer
    Spencer
    September 6, 2017 at 8:17 am | #

    Today is a day of great celebration.

    I was finally right about a plot point in DoA.

    • Scar Man!!!
      Scar Man!!!
      September 6, 2017 at 9:31 am | #

      Conglaturations!

      • Clif
        Clif
        September 6, 2017 at 10:37 am | #

        Oh wait. If it means Spencer is right then we have to change reality so that she is actually here to help Marcie move in.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 6, 2017 at 12:01 pm | #

      High five! Next up – Becky starts in roller derby.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        September 6, 2017 at 3:16 pm | #

        I’m still banking on Amber and Sal becoming friends and joining roller derby.

        And solving mysteries.

  99. John Madden
    John Madden
    September 6, 2017 at 8:43 am | #

    DUN DUN DUN

  100. Scar Man!!!
    Scar Man!!!
    September 6, 2017 at 9:31 am | #

    *wheezing chuckle* $10 says they’ll try to strangle each other by, at the most, the middle of the next chapter/in-comic day

  101. raul
    raul
    September 6, 2017 at 9:53 am | #

    I don’t think this bodes well.

    somebody’s either going to jail or the morgue, unlikely to be the same person

  102. Kutharos
    Kutharos
    September 6, 2017 at 10:02 am | #

    Oh man, just pour me more of that sweet drama tea, with extra salt.

  103. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    September 6, 2017 at 10:02 am | #

    Comic Reactions:

    Wait! Whoa! So Billie’s getting Lucy as a roommate? Lucky. Though she might be a bit too Joyce-like for her, but I’m already looking forward to Joyce and her meeting for the first time.

    …

    Oh, something else happened this strip? I kind of love Malaya moving in. Like, in this universe, she’s been kinda intriguing and has had some good points amidst the acerbity*.

    *Not to mention some barbed sweetness. The way she struggles and tries to learn sign language for Marcie, the way she was willing to see someone who mostly emotionally abuses her and give it a passing chance but refused to accept the narrative that she should be grateful for Sal’s civility.

    And her being on the floor means we’re going to see a lot more exploration of her including how her sexuality works in practice in this universe (aro ace?, demi?). Plus, Sal wanting to rant about Malaya means more Sal and Carla scenes together which are always delightful.

    Plus, it means Marcie doesn’t fall out of the picture just because she’s fighting with Sal at the moment and probably some chances for the crew to hang out in the main hall, not just in Walmart parking lots.

    It’s just good plot pudding for later and a nice payoff for Malaya’s jokes about wanting to escape her “terrible roommate” in Lucy.

    Also, I’m so sad at that opening interaction between Billie and Sal. These two are practically sisters in a way, but it’s so tense and formal with both avoiding saying what they’re really thinking in the moment, but both knowing this was a failed attempt to reconnect to that sort of created family.

    It’s like a mourning for an opportunity missed.

    • Nightsbridge
      Nightsbridge
      September 6, 2017 at 10:37 am | #

      I agree 100%! But, think of the potential badness with Malaya living on the same floor as Amber.

    • Clif
      Clif
      September 6, 2017 at 10:46 am | #

      As always, you give me something to think about that I hadn’t considered.

    • Scar Man!!!
      Scar Man!!!
      September 6, 2017 at 11:57 am | #

      Wait, robosexuality isn’t real? Darn, there goes my dating chancea

      • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
        ǝ snow ʍousɐ
        September 6, 2017 at 6:40 pm | #

        How about robophobia?

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        September 8, 2017 at 1:59 pm | #

        This comment reminds me of the quest in Fallout: New Vegas where you recruit a sexbot named ‘Fisto’ to work for a brothel.

        And, yeah, I had sex with it.

        Don’t judge me! I had to make sure it was working!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      September 6, 2017 at 12:03 pm | #

      “Plot pudding” is my new favorite expression!

    • Scar Man!!!
      Scar Man!!!
      September 6, 2017 at 12:06 pm | #

      That said, where are you getting the idea that they were close? Last I remember of their interactions was either cooperating on dealing with the party incident or Billy hilariously failing to catch her and get her to sign the roommate agreement.

      Although, she was with Sal when Amazigirl tried to pick a fight, so there’s probably gaps in my memory

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        September 6, 2017 at 12:53 pm | #

        I think what Cerb meant when she said “practically sisters” was referring to the time when Billie would visit their house so often, she often called Sal’s parents “mom and dad”.

        And you have to admit, in that strip, we see Sal starting up a conversation with Billie. And she’s doing it without any sarcasm directed towards Billie*. How often do you see Sal do that to anyone that isn’t Marcie?

        *Whether or not she’s sarcastic about the “blessing” of Billie’s parents visiting is another matter.

    • Emily
      Emily
      September 6, 2017 at 2:27 pm | #

      I’m glad Lucy gets a slightly less actively hostile roommate out of the deal.

  104. Nym
    Nym
    September 6, 2017 at 11:03 am | #

    Yessss.

  105. smooti
    smooti
    September 6, 2017 at 12:25 pm | #

    CALLED IT

  106. Wereg
    Wereg
    September 6, 2017 at 12:32 pm | #

    Oh god, I knew she was going to have a larger part in the comic.

  107. JBento
    JBento
    September 6, 2017 at 1:48 pm | #

    Why not both?

  108. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf
    September 6, 2017 at 2:30 pm | #

    Sal: “I wish I could see more of Marcie.”

    *finger curls on the monkey’s paw*

  109. Freezer
    Freezer
    September 6, 2017 at 2:55 pm | #

    Sal: Figger Ah can get along with anyone.
    Universe: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

  110. Roborat
    Roborat
    September 6, 2017 at 4:13 pm | #

    Looks like something finally managed to break Sal.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      September 6, 2017 at 5:46 pm | #

      Billie beat her to it.

  111. Mom
    Mom
    September 6, 2017 at 4:36 pm | #

    Holy shit yes!

  112. Barf Ninjason
    Barf Ninjason
    September 6, 2017 at 5:21 pm | #

    Loud, malodorous and lingering
    Malaya the human fart
    Made Sal wish for her RA-fingering
    cheerleader roommate not to depart

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      September 6, 2017 at 7:47 pm | #

      “Malaya the human fart” has an epic ring to it, like “Tinker to Evers to Chance”.

      There’s a longer poem in there waiting to escape.

  113. Sam
    Sam
    September 6, 2017 at 7:18 pm | #

    At least, Sal will get to hang out with Marcie more.

  114. Mr D
    Mr D
    September 6, 2017 at 8:17 pm | #

    Dammit, stupid computer format, time to reroll my grav roulette

  115. Jhon
    Jhon
    September 6, 2017 at 9:13 pm | #

    Malaya is free of Lucy at last, at last.
    So yay?

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      September 6, 2017 at 11:16 pm | #

      If there is one thing I have learned in my many decades on this planet, it is this: any time you say to yourself, “things couldn’t possibly get any worse!” —

      They can. Believe me. They can.

  116. Valdrax
    Valdrax
    September 6, 2017 at 9:59 pm | #

    Willis, you are the worst person in the best way. I am dying laughing at this turn of events.

  117. Kay
    Kay
    September 6, 2017 at 11:49 pm | #

    MALAYA.

    • Scar Man!!!
      Scar Man!!!
      September 7, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

      A woman who gripes about “overjoyed performative rebellion” while wearing a hoodie that literally just says “BAD”

      • Scar Man!!!
        Scar Man!!!
        September 7, 2017 at 8:17 am | #

        Overhyped

  118. fractal
    fractal
    September 10, 2017 at 3:41 pm | #

    I think this is actually Malaya trying to be diplomatic, by her standards, which is why the line seems rehearsed — she’s out of her element.

    Sal plays the passive-aggressive sarcasm game with her, and here is the only time I’ve seen her interact that way, instead of just being brutally honest and/or aggressive, her preferred modes of interaction.

    I think this is why she didn’t get along with Lucy — she sees constant overt niceness, and any other stuff she doesn’t understand — as some sort of lies or passive-aggressive shit she doesn’t quite get.

    Notably, she’s relatively calm/accepting when people are brutally honest with her — Sal’s line of “it’s 4 am and it’s getting harder to pretend i like you” in Malaya’s first appearance just got an “OH GAWD FINE”.

    Contrast that with Sal trying to put up with her while insulting her behind her back and being passive-aggressive when Marcie was trying to make them get along — that’s when Malaya got really mad, rather than just blunt/tactless/lowkey aggressive.

  119. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    October 3, 2017 at 11:28 am | #

    Gah, how could I miss the upside-down arrow? Also, I want to believe Malaya was standing outside the room the whole time, just waiting for Sal to say something ironic/foreboding.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 21min
This is never going away, is it.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
Ordered a TFOne Megatronus card from overseas and it came with some other random cards as packing thanks for the super high Squidward
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Sean Kelley McKeever @seanmckeever.com ⋅ 8h
How to read all 28 issues of my Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane run on Marvel Unlimited: 1: The first four issues were published as the miniseries "Mary Jane." www.marvel.com/comics/serie...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2h
www.ebay.com/itm/23610614... selling my stege shockwave
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Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers War for Cybertron Siege Leader Class Shockwave, loose, complete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
Dorothy!
dorothy in a dark purple collared shirt and her usual black vest, with cuffed pants
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
i want to change the caption's image to a photo of a mountain of ET cartridges in a landfill
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it! also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 11h
www.ebay.com/itm/23609624... Three hours left on this murder machine
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He's been opened, stood on a shelf for a while, and placed back inside.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 11h
mary: dawn says your girlfriend is trying to murder her wilbur: but what about MY happiness okay can we kill wilbur now
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
help I had a big yawny stretch after I got into bed and threw out my back
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 20h
Dumbing of Age: "Dotty" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Dotty
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Brandy Jensen @brandyjensen.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
fuck off
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Phew, they made NoHo Hank wear pants.
A McFarlane Toys action figure of Metamorpho, from James Gunn's Superman movie.  He's wearing pants.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
where's my hour loop of Vader fist-dancing
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
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Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 1d
hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
the cover of FF #1 featuring some beautiful art of said Fantastic Four
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
tastefully cropped art of joe and joyce discovering the joys of fingers
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I may have to pin this
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
#relatable
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a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
ALT: a man in a hospital gown says " stop pooping " to another man
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OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 2d
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
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Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 2d
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
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Up, continued
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The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 2d
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
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You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
GOTTEM
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geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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