Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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it'll take 900 strips in a row, but we'll get fuckface more appearances than joyce
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June 8, 2026

Brood

by David M Willis on December 26, 2017 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - This Is the Way that We Love
└ Tags: fuckface, malaya, sal

Discussion (208) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 26, 2017 at 12:01 am | #

    Boxing Day with Malaya, amirite lolololol

    *fisticuffs commence*

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 26, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

      wait would you seriously make Fucking of Facethat many Fuckface strips, Willis

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        December 26, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

        Animal Hater. ;p

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        December 26, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

        Only if you challenge him to do so.

        ….

        Do NOT challenge him to do so.

        • efin98
          efin98
          December 26, 2017 at 1:08 am | #

          Aw, but we could have made it a game to spot the scaley beast! Our own version of “Where’s Waldo” only actually cool.

        • Chronos
          Chronos
          December 26, 2017 at 8:08 am | #

          …

          (looks one way)
          (looks another way)

          I CHALLENGE!!!!

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            December 26, 2017 at 11:00 am | #

            I volunteer as tribute.

  2. Ivy
    Ivy
    December 26, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

    Wouldn’t both of these girls be happier if they left each other alone?
    You! Don’t! Have! To! Interact! With! Each! Other!

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 26, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      They’re roommates. They do.

      • Ivy
        Ivy
        December 26, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

        Ignoring your roommate is easy. I do it. I don’t hate my roommate but we still hardly interact and it works out pretty fine.

        • Mandy
          Mandy
          December 26, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

          Yeah, my freshman roommate and I had pretty much the same relationship. We just kind of realized early on that we weren’t going to be friends. We were cordial, and would like let each other know when we needed something or were going to be gone overnight, but we barely spoke. Just existed in a comfortable silence. It didn’t bother us, but when our friends came in our room they were weirded out.

        • Koms
          Koms
          December 26, 2017 at 1:02 am | #

          I’m only good friends with one of the five roommates I’ve ever had. I was good friends with the rest of them in college. Or so I thought. After college they hardly had anything to say to me. Makes me think I should have kept my interactions to a minimum. Roomies do not always equal friends.

          • Kinoko
            Kinoko
            December 26, 2017 at 2:20 pm | #

            Guys, I’m really glad for this thread.
            My freshman year roommate and I barely spoke to each other. We never argued, but we realized pretty quickly that we had nothing in common, every conversation I tried to initiate would trail off awkwardly, and hearing everyone else around me talk about how they and their roommate were BFFs made me feel like a failure of a human.
            Then I lived with different roommates / housemates, and we would cook together, watch movies, and stay up late laughing. So yeah, not everyone is compatible.

        • Daibhid C
          Daibhid C
          December 26, 2017 at 7:42 am | #

          I think not interacting with your roommate is easy because you don’t hate her. As Sir Terry Pratchett put it “Hate is an attractive force.”

      • Delanoooooo
        Delanoooooo
        December 26, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

        Only for the most minimal reasons. I barely talked to one of my roommates all year.

      • drs
        drs
        December 26, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

        From what little we’ve seen, Mary and Roz have a better non-aggression pact than these two.

      • DrWattson
        DrWattson
        December 26, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

        My first semester of college, I went probably the first two months without even talking to my roommate more than once or twice. Not out of avoidance or anything, we just didn’t talk.

      • Aeron
        Aeron
        December 26, 2017 at 2:31 am | #

        What is this? A comic called “Roomies!” Or something?

      • Kaunisenkeli
        Kaunisenkeli
        December 26, 2017 at 7:10 pm | #

        I ignore my roommates 99% of the time, but we have an apartment not a dorm.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 26, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

      But if they did that, new ships centred on hate-fucking cannot be built.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        December 26, 2017 at 12:52 am | #

        …..

        … you DO know that wouldn’t actually stop the hate-fucking ships, right?

        • tyersome
          tyersome
          December 26, 2017 at 1:44 am | #

          So … to get aboard a hate-fucking ship should I contact the Dis-me Bruise Line?

          • Renshear Blade
            Renshear Blade
            December 26, 2017 at 2:16 am | #

            Thumbs up!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 26, 2017 at 7:01 am | #

          Maybe not but it is far easier to build ships with actual material.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      December 26, 2017 at 12:51 am | #

      See, that sounds like a Sal train of thought rather than a Malaya train of thought.

      Malaya’s pissed off by what she sees as Sal’s “I’m superior because I’m cool and broody” attitude, when what Sal really wants is to be left alone with the people she likes. So Malaya’s mission is to puncture that perceived arrogance, and leaving Sal alone doesn’t do that.

    • BigDogLittleCat
      BigDogLittleCat
      December 26, 2017 at 1:16 am | #

      Sure they don’t *have* to interact (much), but Malaya seems to have no purpose in life other than to piss off Sal.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 26, 2017 at 3:09 am | #

      In her weird, diseased way, Malaya genuinely thinks that she’s trying to help Sal.

    • Thrabalen
      Thrabalen
      December 26, 2017 at 3:21 am | #

      But the thing is, Malaya is a loathsome creature that exists for the sole purpose of making everyone else miserable so she doesn’t see how empty her existence is. She *could* co-exist with Sal without pissing her off, but then the only person she’d have to interact with is someone devoid of any redeeming quality whatsoever: Malaya.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        December 26, 2017 at 9:47 am | #

        Aside from Marcie whom she gets along rather well with and Carla who she’s sprat friends with.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        December 26, 2017 at 11:32 am | #

        Malaya has exactly one redeeming feature. Two syllables, first one starts with ‘f’, second one starts with ‘f’, and is most awesome part of comic.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 26, 2017 at 11:07 am | #

      It’s pretty clear to me that Malaya LIKES interacting with Sal. She prefers having an aggressive foil as a roommate, rather than a sunny wet dishrag. Malaya NEEDS confrontation and antagonism in her life.

      In fact, wouldn’t surprise me if one day Sal realizes this, and gets her back by adopting a sweet, accepting facade, calmly accepting and agreeing with whatever Malaya throws at her. Malaya’d probably crack in a few hours.

      • geno
        geno
        December 26, 2017 at 11:44 am | #

        That is a super mean way to refer to Lucy. She is a lovely ball of sunshine not a dishrag.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        December 26, 2017 at 1:27 pm | #

        That would be an absolutely delightful way for Sal to annoy her. It spells shenanigans.

    • geno
      geno
      December 26, 2017 at 11:35 am | #

      Malaya needs attention. She couldn’t function without it. She just hates positive attention for some reason

      • TemperaryObsessor
        TemperaryObsessor
        December 26, 2017 at 8:07 pm | #

        Sal could unofficially switch with Joyce for a few days. Convince Joyce that Malaya needs the type of help only Joyce can provide.

        • Jordan
          Jordan
          December 26, 2017 at 10:13 pm | #

          Sarah probably wouldn’t be opposed to that. It’d give her a bit more quiet time to study since Sal would never be in the room.

  3. Ragnarok101
    Ragnarok101
    December 26, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

    This is why I dislike Malaya.

    • Mr. Mendo
      Mr. Mendo
      December 26, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

      Testify!

    • adjudicus
      adjudicus
      December 26, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

      Seconded.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      December 26, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

      In the other universe Malaya had a few redeeming qualities, but so far I’ve seen none from her in this strip.

      • Kater
        Kater
        December 26, 2017 at 10:19 am | #

        I disagree. Certainly, Malaya’s been nothing but a jerk to Sal but she got Marcie into roller derby and started learning sign language for her. She also facilitated Sal seeing Marcie again when they were moving her in. Even not liking Sal, Malaya cared enough about Marcie’s happiness to bring the teo together. I find her abrasive personally but it’s not true that she has 0 redeming qualities.

        • BigDogLittleCat
          BigDogLittleCat
          December 26, 2017 at 11:46 am | #

          I don’t think it was a redeeming quality of Malaya’s that got Marcie into roller derby so much as her cute ass.
          I’m also highly suspicious of her bringing Sal and Marcie “together.” Looked to me like an opportunity to show off that she’s got Marcie and Sal doesn’t, with the added bonus of needling Sal to bring out her worst side in front of Marcie to cement Marcie’s anger at Sal.

          I’m waiting for the fallout when Malaya realizes why Marcie likes her. I can’t see that going well for Marcie, as I think Malaya’s primary reason for liking Marcie is that Marcie likes her. That is, Malaya seems much too self-centered to like anyone for their own sake.

          I like Marcie, but she’s flat-out said she’s likes Malaya because she wants in her pants and now she’s playing the Nice Guy(tm) game of pretending to be just a friend in hopes that she can persuade the object of her lust to decide she lusts her back. To be honest, her friendship with Sal has been her best wuality so far.

    • ProfessorDetective
      ProfessorDetective
      December 26, 2017 at 12:31 am | #

      Amen.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      December 26, 2017 at 12:52 am | #

      … JUST this?

    • BigDogLittleCat
      BigDogLittleCat
      December 26, 2017 at 1:31 am | #

      Yep. There are times it seems like Sal is the source of friction with her unprovoked hostility, then you see this and realize that that hostility is provoked, that Malaya has earned every bit of it.

    • Jason
      Jason
      December 26, 2017 at 8:03 am | #

      Ohhh yeah. Malaya’s basically just antagonistic. She doesn’t show any level of empathy or respect for others.
      I really, REALLY dislike her. I didn’t much like the original incarnation but she was pretty much immediately out of her comfort zone and we saw a level of vulnerability from her that made her more tolerable. Here she’s this arrogant vile person without any noticeable vulnerabilities, redeeming qualities or anything else to help us connect to her.

      …I don’t want to start sounding like that Walky-hater though…

    • geno
      geno
      December 26, 2017 at 11:37 am | #

      I like her when it’s just her and Marcie.

    • Godfather
      Godfather
      December 26, 2017 at 5:17 pm | #

      Yes.

  4. StClair
    StClair
    December 26, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    And shining a bright light in people’s faces doesn’t make you edgy or superior, it just means you’re an asshole.

    • K. Ivan Ruppert
      K. Ivan Ruppert
      December 26, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

      I think Malaya is one of those people who thinks being an asshole makes you inherently superior. Pick your reason.

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 26, 2017 at 12:41 am | #

        ah, like the entire fandom for Black Hat Guy @ xkcd.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          December 26, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

          Nah, Black Hat Guy is actually clever. He’s a sadist who makes train wrecks, and that’s awful, and he’s awful, but at least those train wrecks are food for thought. Malaya lacks even that (not-really-)redeeming quality.

          • Socks
            Socks
            December 26, 2017 at 11:50 am | #

            The redeeming quality of black hat guy in a more meta sense is that he is entertaining to read comics about; I am not entertained by Malaya. Maybe because I have known people who are needlessly antagonistic and think that makes them better than me, but not people who put landmines under cars? It’s like an Umbridge vs Voldemort thing. One of them would realistically be worse, but it’s not the one that gets way the fuck under my skin on a visceral level.

        • Zach
          Zach
          December 26, 2017 at 5:14 pm | #

          Black Hat Guy conceives of new ways to be a dick. He isn’t really ‘evil’, either. More amoral, bored, and totally lacking empathy.

          • TemperaryObsessor
            TemperaryObsessor
            December 26, 2017 at 8:12 pm | #

            Umm unless you happen to not want things that cause other people trouble that kind of makes you evil.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        December 26, 2017 at 12:44 am | #

        Which of course leads to the question of who would win the ultimate battle, Malaya or Mike?

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          December 26, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

          Mike. No doubt.

          • Clif
            Clif
            December 26, 2017 at 2:23 pm | #

            Ditto.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          December 26, 2017 at 12:54 am | #

          I call third act anti-hero teamup.

        • BigDogLittleCat
          BigDogLittleCat
          December 26, 2017 at 1:12 am | #

          oh my god, I never imagined a situation in which I’d be rooting for Mike.

          I also think he’d win. I think he’s a lot smarter than her, and his defensive position is much stronger, so even if she managed to land a hit, he’d be able to absorb it with negligible damage.
          On the other hand, she is so self-centered it borders on oblivious, so she might not even realize it when he takes her down. “Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left.” “Yes I have.”

          • GoblinScribe
            GoblinScribe
            December 26, 2017 at 1:34 am | #

            Pssh. Malaya would curbstomp Mike. Emotionally, I think he’d find her confounding.

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              December 26, 2017 at 1:27 pm | #

              I’m no Mike fan, and I don’t subscribe to the “Mike is a saintly therapist in disguise” theory, but I still do think that Mike is discerning enough to read the obvious signals and fully understand Malaya with seconds of meeting her. And if she turned *any* of her piss-people-off attentions toward him, he’d dismantle her emotionally with such thoroughness that there would be nothing of her personality left.

              • Clif
                Clif
                December 26, 2017 at 2:26 pm | #

                Either that or he’d fall in love. See Walkyverse Amber/Mike

        • Pl0x
          Pl0x
          December 26, 2017 at 2:39 am | #

          The easy answer is neither. It’s mutually assured destruction.

        • All-Purpose Guru
          All-Purpose Guru
          December 26, 2017 at 4:50 am | #

          Mike puts a lot of effort into being a dick. Malaya just likes to piss people off, she doesn’t really WORK at it.

        • geno
          geno
          December 26, 2017 at 11:47 am | #

          Personally I like Mike. I could never see Malaya sacrificing herself for someone else, or being in a normal functional relationship. Not to mention grieve the loss of someone. Granted those were alt universe Mike’s accomplishments, but at least it means this universe Mike is capable of it. Even with Marcie I really don’t see Malaya working out. Eventually she’s gonna be a jerk to Marcie, and Marcie won’t take that shit.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            December 26, 2017 at 1:46 pm | #

            Even if she does, if Malaya upsets Marcie, Sal will gut her like a fish.

        • Jordan
          Jordan
          December 26, 2017 at 10:19 pm | #

          Mike. @begbert2 is absolutely right. He’d figure her out within a minute of meeting her and destroy her emotionally and mentally. Probably by destroying her friendship with Marcie in front of everyone in the dorm.

      • Arawn
        Arawn
        December 26, 2017 at 1:17 am | #

        “Because sh#$ting on other people means you’re not gonna get S#@t on.”

        “What if somebody is pooping on you while you poop on someone else?”

        “What is this, German porn?”

        • Chris Phoenix
          Chris Phoenix
          December 26, 2017 at 4:53 am | #

          Two guys, one cup.

  5. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    December 26, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    “SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR IGUANA”

    *gasp* “dieeeeee”

  6. Badgermole
    Badgermole
    December 26, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Is Malaya tsundere for Sal or what?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 26, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

      Sal is the tsundere, Malaya is the sadist character

  7. Keulen
    Keulen
    December 26, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    I don’t understand why Malaya (or anyone really) would think shining a bright light in someone else’s face is a good idea.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      December 26, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

      When I grew up, my mom told me you could go blind that way.

      Internet says that ocular damage doesn’t work that way, but retinal damage, potentially.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 26, 2017 at 1:56 am | #

        You’ll shine your eye out, kid!

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        December 26, 2017 at 4:44 pm | #

        I occasionally spend upward of 20 minutes deliberately shining a bright LED or laser pointer in my own eye. So far, the biggest damage is an inability to read street signs from a quarter mile away.

  8. Zaidyer
    Zaidyer
    December 26, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    I bet Malaya thinks she’s doing Sal a favor by keeping it real for her in the most flippant, jerky way imaginable.
    I can attest that this is not a viable strategy.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 26, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

      I don’t think she cares about Sal that much.
      Or that she’s doing a ‘public service’ by keeping others from being taken in.
      I think she just believes that Sal is ‘fake’, and that should be torn down/away for its own sake.
      (Malaya, herself, is totally real and not at all hypocritical or “fronting”, ever. Really.)

      • Andy
        Andy
        December 26, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

        I’m not sure she really even believes that much. Malaya seems to Malaya because fuck everyone else.

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 26, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

        actually, now that I think about it…
        She’s probably going after Sal for two reasons:
        As a surrogate for all those others who have used their social position against her in the past; and
        Because she (consciously or otherwise) wants Marcie all to herself, and doesn’t want to share – especially not with someone who is so obviously fake and undeserving of Marcie’s friendship.

        • BigDogLittleCat
          BigDogLittleCat
          December 26, 2017 at 1:27 am | #

          I would add that Sal’s everything she wants to be: sexy, cool, admired by all, feared by many.
          Malaya wants to be the awesome rebel outlaw, but really she’s just a selfish bongo.
          The irony is that to an extent she’s right: Sal’s not as detached and above it all as most people think she is. What Malaya doesn’t understand is that Sal isn’t “cool” to be superior; she’s cool to keep people at arm’s length so she doesn’t keep getting hurt by them.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 26, 2017 at 9:51 am | #

          Or, you know, she’s still pissed about that time Sal called her a cumstain, threatened her life and then attacked her because she was jealous that Marcie was spending time with Malaya.

          Marcie may have intervened and stopped the physical confrontation but that doesn’t mean Malaya has forgiven or forgotten.

          • BigDogLittleCat
            BigDogLittleCat
            December 26, 2017 at 11:27 am | #

            the first time Malaya appeared, it seemed there was already a history between Sal and Malaya, so I took it that Sal’s threatening her was a result of Malaya’s crap, not the cause of it.
            Not denying that Sal has made little/no effort to disguise her dislike, but as we’ve seen Sal can be kind, insightful, and conflict avoidant, and we’ve never seen Malaya not being an asshole – to everyone, not just Sal – Sal gets the benefit of the doubt and I assume Malaya started it.

            • Sam
              Sam
              December 26, 2017 at 2:19 pm | #

              This.

              We have seen that Sal can be tolerant of people, aware and can care about people even if she is in conflict with them (Amazi-Girl) but she also challenged AG to a fight eventually when she was tired of her nonsense.

              Almost like when someone does a series of horrible things to you, you eventually lose your temper and have difficulty being kind to them.

              I would also like to point out that Sal before that fight did enter that conversation wanting to learn to tolerate Malaya better, and Malaya chose to, in response to being insulted (Sal didn’t enter the conversation well as she didn’t mask her hatred of Malaya), escalate, provoke Sal and provoke a physical fight. She wasn’t an innocent victim that was just attacked by Sal for no reason as she definitely helped provoke and instigate said fight for her own purposes as well.

      • Jamie
        Jamie
        December 26, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

        Is there a word for rebelling against rebellion?

        I mean, besides Kylo Ren.

        • Cephalo the Pod
          Cephalo the Pod
          December 26, 2017 at 2:14 am | #

          I think that’s just a roundabout way of describing the status quo.

          • Jason
            Jason
            December 26, 2017 at 8:07 am | #

            “Status Quo Warriors” comes to mind. The people who are so angry at the idea of change they lash out at anyone who supports it.

            • StClair
              StClair
              December 27, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

              Ah, when you put it that way, there IS a word for it: “reactionaries.”

  9. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    December 26, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    WTF is a “copy-paste hot topic drone”?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 26, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

      I learnt that Hot Topic is a giant corporate retail chain that sells anti-establishment clothing, so I’m guessing she’s accusing Sal of being a rebel poser.

      • ProfessorDetective
        ProfessorDetective
        December 26, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

        Pretty much, yeah.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        December 26, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

        Which is always amusing coming from Malaya, who isn’t exactly Miss Original herself.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 26, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

      Someone whose coolness and attitude are fake and copied from popular media, brands, etc.
      Not like YOURS, of course. YOU are an individual. You’re the REAL rebel, rejecting all that stuff. Yeah.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      December 26, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

      Which begs the question… does Malaya knows about Sal’s criminal past?!

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        December 26, 2017 at 12:56 am | #

        Given that she isn’t doing the sledgehammer equivalent of needling Sal with it sixty times a day? No, she does not.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      December 26, 2017 at 12:50 am | #

      I have to wonder if Malaya thinks Hot Topic sells a bunch of biker shit. I uhh, don’t think they do.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 26, 2017 at 2:11 am | #

        Oh there’s plenty of stores that sell poser biker shit. Just look at all the fake club vests out there. (I don’t mean Sons of Anarchy merch or leather vests with the Harley-Davidson logo on them, I mean fake club jackets with rockers and 1% patches.Never wear those around actual motorcycle clubs. If you’re lucky, all they’ll do is laugh you into the next county.)

        Hot Topic might carry costume poser biker stuff, but Sal’s riding outfit is legitimate safety gear. (We’ve only ever seen her with that blue set, so presumably it was expensive at a motorcycle shop at some point.)

      • Socks
        Socks
        December 26, 2017 at 12:03 pm | #

        I needed a cheap goth accessory for a party a few years ago, so I went to my old high school standby, hot topic, to pick one up… Man, it’s JUST fandom stuff now. Literally couldn’t find the gothy thing I was looking for (a choker maybe? I don’t remember). Not even the vaguest hint of edge in sight.

        But then I got some really cute, like, skater dresses there, so I’m kinda okay with this change. But now I have no idea where to buy tacky, mass-produced mallgoth gear :/ It comes up sometimes!

        Sliding timescale-wise, I feel like Malaya has probably never been to a hot topic that ACTUALLY tries to sell edgy stuff in her entire life, now. They’ve just been nerd stuff for years. Damn that inevitable passage of time and how it impacts perpetual college freshmen in comics?

  10. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    December 26, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    *plays Stevie Nicks’ “Blue Lamp” on the hacked Muzak*–my favorite Christmas song!–Damn You Willis.

    • Chris Phoenix
      Chris Phoenix
      December 26, 2017 at 4:56 am | #

      Blue suede Christmas shoes.

  11. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    December 26, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    For all Malaya gives Sal crap about her supposedly fulfilling a role, she certainly does give Sal a lot of power over her in the name of trying to expose this supposed hypocrisy.

    Almost as if her entire “real” shtick is itself an act! 😉

    • PB
      PB
      December 26, 2017 at 3:43 pm | #

      … I hadn’t considered this! Maybe it’s because Sal still has people willing to tolerate her and people who worship her (however unwanted that worship is), and Malaya is envious because the only people who like her are Marcie, Carla and Fuckface.

  12. Danni
    Danni
    December 26, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    malaya needs to stop being a total dipshit.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      December 26, 2017 at 12:56 am | #

      But then what would she have left???

      • Danni
        Danni
        December 26, 2017 at 1:06 am | #

        fuckface

        • Arawn
          Arawn
          December 26, 2017 at 1:21 am | #

          Fuckface is definitely an improvement.

  13. Stu
    Stu
    December 26, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

    If she hasn’t already, this is guaranteed the moment that Sal wishes Billie was her roommate still.

    • Jason
      Jason
      December 26, 2017 at 8:12 am | #

      The moment Malaya turned up she wished it!
      Sal and Billie actually got on pretty well, considering the complete gamble that is roommates. (Seriously can’t believe this is a thing university’s think is a good idea, what the hell.) It didn’t hurt that Billie spent little time there- or, presumably, their prior acquaintance.

  14. Lapin
    Lapin
    December 26, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    I deeply love Malaya. I probably would have been in Marcie’s boat, way back when, and hella in love with her.

    • Woobie
      Woobie
      December 26, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

      why?

      • Mr. Mendo
        Mr. Mendo
        December 26, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

        …I have several questions.

      • Arawn
        Arawn
        December 26, 2017 at 1:22 am | #

        Some people just like getting s#$7 on.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      December 26, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

      Of all the Malaya strips to say this on, you said it on the one where she’s being a total asshole for no reason other than to be an asshole.

      …You do you, I guess.

      • Some1
        Some1
        December 26, 2017 at 12:50 am | #

        Hey, some people find assholes attractive, and some people find assholes attractive

      • Stu
        Stu
        December 26, 2017 at 1:11 am | #

        Maybe he’s just a big fan of anal?

  15. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 26, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    Putting people in situations where they have to disagree with you doesn’t make you observant or intelligent, it means you’re being an ass.

  16. BBCC
    BBCC
    December 26, 2017 at 12:34 am | #

    Does Hot Topic even sell motorcycle gear? Because aside from that, most of Sal’s stuff is pretty ordinary – shorts, tank tops, sport shirts with things like ‘slim’ or ‘fitness’ on it. Nothing especially Hot Topic-y.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 26, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

      in one of those cases of nested irony, it’s lazy shorthand for lazy mall-bought “rebellion” (merchandise).

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        December 26, 2017 at 1:27 am | #

        I did know that, but I can’t think of anything Sal wears that would give off a Hot Topic vibe.

        • Socks
          Socks
          December 26, 2017 at 12:05 pm | #

          She wears tights with holes in them sometimes? I feel like that could be a hot topic thing.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            December 26, 2017 at 1:53 pm | #

            I thought those were cut-outs which are pretty normal nowadays for college students.

  17. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    December 26, 2017 at 12:36 am | #

    Being a dick 101: lesson #1- poking the bear.

  18. Undrave
    Undrave
    December 26, 2017 at 12:51 am | #

    Maybe Malaya wouldn’t think Sal is a poser rebel if she knew she held up a friggin’ convenience store… ‘Cause I don’t think she knows.

    • CoMa
      CoMa
      December 26, 2017 at 4:25 am | #

      I think nobody besides Marcie, Walky and possibly Billie knows (on campus. Well, and Amber). Though I can’t remember if we ever got to see a hint of Walky or Billie knowing about it, I just assume they do because of having been close in childhood and family and all that.

      • TemperaryObsessor
        TemperaryObsessor
        December 26, 2017 at 5:41 am | #

        You forgot Ethan he knows cause Amber told him.

        • CoMa
          CoMa
          December 26, 2017 at 6:10 am | #

          Oh yeah, somehow I forgot about him. I think he also never really interacted with Sal, so maybe he slipped my mind because of that.

          • TheKelliestKelly
            TheKelliestKelly
            December 26, 2017 at 8:06 am | #

            I don’t know if they interacted otherwise, but Ethan and Sal met at Joyce’s party. Also, Amber didn’t tell Ethan about the event cuz he was there. Sal took him as a hostage and put a knife to his neck

            • Jason
              Jason
              December 26, 2017 at 8:14 am | #

              I feel like Amber spelled out to him that she was in college with them. I don’t recall him ever actually realising that was Sal.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                December 26, 2017 at 1:54 pm | #

                He hasn’t yet. Also, Walky knew (since he presumably couldn’t tune that out) but Billie didn’t know until this year.

    • Woobie
      Woobie
      December 26, 2017 at 11:25 pm | #

      That shouldn’t impress anyone, though.

  19. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    December 26, 2017 at 12:52 am | #

    So… when is Malaya going to have that petty, vengeful demon currently inhabiting her body exorcised and act like a normal human, not completely oblivious to every single social norm?

    It can’t be healthy to feel this much constant, unrelenting pity for a character every time they say *any*thing.

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      December 26, 2017 at 4:52 am | #

      We need to duct tape Joyce to her for a week or two, either the demon will escape screaming or Malaya will.

  20. Nono
    Nono
    December 26, 2017 at 12:54 am | #

    Counterpoint is that Malaya only shone the light in Sal’s face once she walked in saying loudly, ‘GEE I WISH YOU WEREN’T HOME RIGHT NOW’.

    • Pl0x
      Pl0x
      December 26, 2017 at 2:19 am | #

      That’s not nearly as bad as almost blinding someone.

    • BigDogLittleCat
      BigDogLittleCat
      December 26, 2017 at 11:13 am | #

      I could accept that reason if Malaya owned it, but she doesn’t. If she had said, you piss on me, I’ll piss back, then it could be counterpoint.
      Instead, she proves Sal right by acting like an asshole for the sake of being an asshole.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      December 26, 2017 at 1:22 pm | #

      But she had to have already been holding it, and there are very few reasons to be sitting at height advantage holding a heat lamp.

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        December 28, 2017 at 3:51 am | #

        To be fair she COULD have been doing the exact thing she said she was doing – basking Fuckface.

        The thing that pisses me off here is, if you want people to cover for you having a secret pet, you REALLY SHOULDN’T blame this pet’s existence for deliberately hurting them. Malaya acts as though Fuckface has some inherent right to be there, even though Sal is doing her a FAVOR by not tattling on her. I mean, not to mention she blames him for her own jerkish behavior, and that would be kind of terrible even if Fuckface DID have a right to be there, but given it doesn’t, it’s just… augh. What the fuck. Malaya shoudn’t be allowed to have pets, ever.

  21. DT
    DT
    December 26, 2017 at 12:57 am | #

    You can write out Malaya and still have Fuckface in the strip, you know.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      December 26, 2017 at 1:34 am | #

      Let the “Garfield without Garfielding” of Malaya .commence!

  22. Roger Sterling
    Roger Sterling
    December 26, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

    Sal: “I’m serious, Malaya. One more word, and they’ll be finding pieces of fuckface in 900 strips.”

    Malaya: “Fuck you.”

    …

    Fuckface’s last scale
    by David M Willis on December 26, 2020 at 12:01 am
    0N-The Punchline

  23. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    December 26, 2017 at 1:04 am | #

    Hmm granted she does come off as a try hard to me at times though she lacks the right amount of black eyeliner and Gothic wear to be a Hot Topic drone.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      December 26, 2017 at 1:39 am | #

      We should bring her over to Coffee of Doom. They’ve got the ultimate authority on who is or is not an HT drone.

  24. tirachokko
    tirachokko
    December 26, 2017 at 1:05 am | #

    i like how malaya seemed genuinely surprised at sal’s immense fury at having blinding lights in her eyes

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      December 26, 2017 at 1:10 am | #

      Maybe that’s how she makes friends?

  25. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    December 26, 2017 at 1:23 am | #

    ….wait is this DoA’s 900th comic strip ?

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      December 26, 2017 at 2:03 am | #

      2378th.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 26, 2017 at 2:17 am | #

      Joyce has been in 923 comics so far, and Fuckface has been in six. Only 918 to go until he passes her!

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        December 26, 2017 at 1:31 pm | #

        How many Fuckface comics can we have without Malaya?

        (I imagine the answer is “Fewer than the readership desires.”)

  26. Br44n5m
    Br44n5m
    December 26, 2017 at 1:38 am | #

    My family has turtles who also enjoy a bright light. You know what we don’t do with it? Shine it in peoples faces. If you truly dislike somebody just holding a turtle near their face will result in more injury than a damned light!

  27. GoblinScribe
    GoblinScribe
    December 26, 2017 at 1:45 am | #

    Okay, time for a brief Malaya Defense (because I don’t have time for a frickin’ essay, people):

    1. Malaya is extremely untrusting, reckless, and unperceptive. Remember, this is the girl who rushed Amazi-Girl solo.

    2. Malaya has decided, due to her cynicism and excessive skepticism, that Sal is an extremely artificial, arrogant person. She sees Sal as a toxic and controlling friend because of that, treating Sal essentially like a cult leader. Remember, the point isn’t that Malaya is being fair—it is that Malaya is both a poor enough judge of character and *slightly* enough on the money (Sal’s charade *is* a bit of a charade, but not for the reasons Malaya lazily ascribes) to stick to this assumption viciously.

    3. Malaya actually likes Marcie, and cares about Marcie and Sal resolving their issues. She has clearly decided that the way to do this is to get Sal to stop being so “artificial” and “arrogant”.

    4. Malaya is kind of a jerk.

    I think Malaya is an incredibly endearing character—a more entertaining Mike, if you will, due to her extreme fallibility and being slightly more realistic. We must be patient with her.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      December 26, 2017 at 2:02 am | #

      Honestly, I really love Malaya, good intentions or no, but I DID get a little annoyed because the line at the end wasn’t as entertaining as she usually is. Come on, Malaya, I expect more entertaining brattiness than THAT.

    • TemporalShrew
      TemporalShrew
      December 26, 2017 at 4:38 am | #

      Which of these things is endearing or deserving of defense, exactly, though…? It just reads like a long series of character faults with so, *so* few redeeming traits to counterbalance them.

      My problem is that she’s not only cynical and judgmental to a fault, but also a massive hypocrite. She judges Sal for being “artificial and arrogant” – leaving aside for a moment that she doesn’t bother to second-guess that assessment for a second – while also being a paragon of those characteristics herself. Her cynicism, skepticism, recklessness, and simplicity all come together to form a perfect picture of arrogance, incapable of responsible self-reflection, and she’s so shallow she doesn’t see anything wrong with any of it. And frankly if she’s not artificially going out of her way to be as perpetually obnoxious as she is, she’s just an awful person.

      I also think the only reason she cares at all whether Marcie and Sal get along is for Marcie’s sake. She doesn’t give a shit about Sal’s side of the issue. And the fact that she’s so unapologetically petty about all of this makes it impossible for me to even regard her as “an interesting character” in spite of her faults, because neither her motivations nor the actions she takes as a result of them are rational or defensible in any way. Or at least, no evidence to that effect has yet been presented.

      • GoblinScribe
        GoblinScribe
        December 26, 2017 at 6:58 pm | #

        Caring about Marcie is a character flaw, now?

        Malaya’s kinda a dumb jackass. She fits right in with this comic. Sal’s a stubborn jerkass, but she doesn’t get anywhere near the level of hate Malaya acquires.

        (As for the “Why do we hate Malaya but love Mike?” question, well, I have two theories.)

        • Jhon
          Jhon
          December 27, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

          Do either of them involve butts?

    • Huehuetotl
      Huehuetotl
      December 26, 2017 at 11:55 am | #

      Maybe the difference between Malaya and Mike is that Malaya seems to be instinctually antagonistic, but for Mike it is a conscious choice. She apparently irritated many of the folks in Forest too. She’ll eventually do that in Read too, but hopefully that will lead to some self-reflection.

      • Socks
        Socks
        December 26, 2017 at 12:14 pm | #

        I think I pinned it down earlier, that the reason mike entertains me but malaya makes me want to punch through a wall is that I’ve known people who are like malaya, but never actually personally known any who were like mike. It’s the Umbridge vs. Voldemort thing, kind of. Of course I have personal experience with people who are selfish and thoughtless, and who subsequently act like dicks in pursuit of their own personal whatever it is they’re trying to do. But I’ve never actually met someone who keeps a list of people’s weaknesses in a knowing and intentional effort to perform evil for evil’s sake. One of those is just a much more realistic sort of asshole, and Malaya’s familiarity makes her WAY worse (to me) than Mike and his cartoonish supervillainy.

        • Pl0x
          Pl0x
          December 26, 2017 at 1:11 pm | #

          I’ve never been able to figure out why I hate Malaya so much but feel pretty neutral about Mike (leaning towards dislike), considering they’re both asshole-ish. I think your comment largely nailed it for me, so thanks.

        • Zach
          Zach
          December 26, 2017 at 5:09 pm | #

          Mike isn’t that inconceivable. His hate is all consuming, and it includes himself.

      • 3-I
        3-I
        December 26, 2017 at 9:10 pm | #

        What the fuck did Mike even do in this comic?

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          December 26, 2017 at 10:35 pm | #

          He told Amber she was going to become her father, tried to get Walky dumped by Dorothy, helped chase Ethan back into the closet, mocked Billie for sleeping with Ruth the very morning after Ruth was hospitalized, tried to intimidate Joyce into telling him about Becky’s situation when she was hiding from Toedad, and has been plotting to try to seduce Ethan just to mess with his head.

          I can understand people liking Mike. I enjoy him too at times, but while he and Malaya are both unapologetic assholes, Mike tends to not only punch down, but punch down hard, in ways that cause lasting harm to people who inexplicably tolerate him as if he was their friend.

          Malaya on the other hand, is just extremely abrasive most of the time, and we haven’t seen her cause (or attempt to cause) anything worse than short-term irritation and/or people not trying to talk to her.

          In short, Mike is a more aggressive asshole who won’t leave people alone, while Malaya is a passive asshole who seems to want to be left alone. Sal is the only person she seems to actively seek to irritate so far. Anyone else who gets sick of her shit can just not hang around Malaya, but with Mike, you have to constantly be on your guard to fend him off.

          • Fart Captor
            Fart Captor
            December 26, 2017 at 11:12 pm | #

            As an addendum, I don’t actually dislike Mike as a character. Teenage Mike being needlessly antagonistic, self-aggrandizing edgelord totally makes sense to me (maybe he’ll grow into deserving the friends he has, hopefully). I’ve known people who were like that before college, and I was more like him myself than I care to think about.

            I love that there is such a wide variety of assholes in this comic. Mike is just one of the ones I would punch in the face if I met him in person.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      December 28, 2017 at 3:54 am | #

      None of this excuses the following sequence of actions:
      1) Bring an illegal pet into the dorm;
      2) Get your roommate to help cover for it;
      3) Use the pet’s equipment to deliberately hurt aforementioned roommate;
      4) Blame the animal for your actions.

      Like… what? Malaya is like, THE reason pets are banned in this dorm, probably. What the fuck.

  28. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 26, 2017 at 2:50 am | #

    Yeah, I’m with Fuckface

  29. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 26, 2017 at 3:12 am | #

    There are some people who, by their behaviour, show that they literally want to start a conflict. Malaya is one of those people. Oh, she dresses it up in nice-sounding reasons but, ultimately, she despises Sal’s behaviour and is punishing her for it. The problem is that anything Sal does in retaliation, she will see as ‘validation’. She’s the worst kind of bully in that way.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 26, 2017 at 9:35 am | #

      Sal started the hostilities, Malaya just hasn’t backed down. I’m not saying it’s right but Sal isn’t an innocent victim.

      • Jengoci
        Jengoci
        December 26, 2017 at 9:53 am | #

        Just because Sal start it, doesn’t justify the constant hosrility for every little thing she does

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 26, 2017 at 10:01 am | #

          Considering the starting it involved attacking her, it absolutely does.

          • Sam
            Sam
            December 26, 2017 at 2:01 pm | #

            Sal being the initial aggressor doesn’t justify Malaya’s active bullying and harassment now or false claims that she is an ‘animal hater’ for not wanting light shined directly in her face (this is rude in general, but if Sal had an eye condition, this could also cause a flare-up so it isn’t really something you should be going around doing to people you hardly know).

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            December 26, 2017 at 2:23 pm | #

            They already didn’t like each other before that. That was not the start of hostilities.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              December 26, 2017 at 9:56 pm | #

              Not liking someone isn’t the same as hostilities.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                December 26, 2017 at 10:17 pm | #

                I think we have different definitions of hostilities then. Because the way those two carried on at each other definitely counts in my book.

  30. CJ
    CJ
    December 26, 2017 at 3:14 am | #

    shouldn’t we see Ruth pestering those two about a roommate agreement?

    Malaya is much worse than Joyce in processing new information. She has her preconceived notion about who Sal is and ignores reality to prove it (and yes, you can hurt someone’s eyes by shining a too bright light into them. Besides, it’s a tactic of torture (the comparatively harmless kind if this can be said in this context).

    OT:I might be out of touch for part of January because I just moved and don’t have a landline yet. And the mobile volume runs out faster than anything. How did the internet ever work with a 64 Bit connection?

  31. SDGlyph
    SDGlyph
    December 26, 2017 at 3:16 am | #

    Ooh, nice lighting work in this one, Willis!

  32. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    December 26, 2017 at 4:00 am | #

    Get your sunglasses out, guys. Next best solution to turning off the darn lamp.

    • Jason
      Jason
      December 26, 2017 at 8:28 am | #

      Having the light on isn’t a problem. Having it shining directly at someone’s face is the problem.

  33. TemperaryObsessor
    TemperaryObsessor
    December 26, 2017 at 6:07 am | #

    If Marcie really cared about Fuckface she would instantly turn off the lamp and apologize, then she would try to find a place to shine the light which is both not visible from the door and not in anyone’s eye. You know cause when you make caring for an animal your not supposed to have maximally annoying for someone else you can make them dislike the animal as well.

    • CoMa
      CoMa
      December 26, 2017 at 6:11 am | #

      Slight correction: Malaya not Marcie

      • TemperaryObsessor
        TemperaryObsessor
        December 26, 2017 at 6:13 am | #

        Thanks

    • Khyrin
      Khyrin
      December 26, 2017 at 7:26 am | #

      No… whether or not she really does care about Fuckface. She’s using Fuckface as a shield to excuse her bad behaviour.
      “Oh, you want to break this uncontextualized light that I am blinding you with? that makes you an animal-hater because it’s for taking care of my pet!”

      malaya is being B O N G O of the highest order, and Sal can’t do anything about it because then she’s just whining.

      I wonder if the scar on her hand would change Malaya’s tune.

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        December 28, 2017 at 3:56 am | #

        ^^^ T H I S

        Malaya deliberately antagonizing Sal would have been actually entertaining, funnier-Mike-style, if she wasn’t involving Fuckface in it in an incredibly jerky manner, GIVEN SAL IS GIVING HER A FAVOR BY LETTING FUCKFACE BE THERE AT ALL. That just makes me see red >_<

  34. Bast
    Bast
    December 26, 2017 at 7:36 am | #

    New censorship idea.
    When someone writes Donald it should change to Harry.
    When someone writes Trump it should change to Potter.
    When someone writes Hillary it should change to Hermione.
    When someone writes Clinton it should change to Granger.

    “Why?” I hear you ask, because funny.

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      December 27, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

      I believe there is a Firefox add-on that will let you do just that.

  35. Just Me
    Just Me
    December 26, 2017 at 8:00 am | #

    A. Shining a bright light in someone’s eyes can be dangerous. B. Just because the person having the light shined in their face is annoyed, doesn’t make them an animal hatted – false equivalence, C. If Mayala really wanted to help the Sal/Marcie situation she would try to make friends with Sal, not enemies. D. Sal should apply for room reassignment.

    • Just Me
      Just Me
      December 26, 2017 at 8:01 am | #

      Typo: it’s supposed to read “Animal Hater”

    • Nemirthel
      Nemirthel
      December 26, 2017 at 10:09 am | #

      It’s not like that lamp does Fuckface any good when it’s pointed at Sal’s face instead of him. Malaya is just being an asshole. Which isn’t going to help anything with Marcie.

      • TemperaryObsessor
        TemperaryObsessor
        December 26, 2017 at 11:29 am | #

        The light was aimed at Fuckface you can tell looking at panel three by the light circle and Fuckfaces shadow and by the way the lamp is pointed in the last panel, but it either casts a wide enough circle to hit Sal’s eyes as well or reflects harshly enough to still hurt her eyes. But Fuckface a few minutes with it off won’t hurt him.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          December 26, 2017 at 2:18 pm | #

          In the last panel, the light is no longer aimed at Sal, that’s how we can see it, rather than just the bright circle. She turns it back to Fuckface when she says “fine”.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          December 27, 2017 at 6:16 pm | #

          Yeah, no, that’s not what’s happening.

          The thing is, Fuckface is clearly seated to Malaya’s right side on the bed. But in panel 3, Malaya appears to be holding a bright circle.* The only way she can be aiming it at Fuckface in that panel is if it is less of a lamp and more of a super bright lightbulb/orb that shines in all directions at once. But as panel 7 shows, it’s a standard lamp. She is very deliberately shining it in Sal’s face to antagonize her.

          *Technically, the art shows a bright circle attached to Malaya’s arm where her hand should be, but that’s a trick of perspective.

  36. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 26, 2017 at 8:40 am | #

    Animal ? I only see a future handbag.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 26, 2017 at 11:20 am | #

      Hey, hey, HEY! Hate the Malaya, NOT the Fuckface!

      • HMH
        HMH
        December 26, 2017 at 11:53 am | #

        Dafuq? Obviously he was talking about Malaya, how could you possibly take that any other way?

  37. Koms
    Koms
    December 26, 2017 at 11:11 am | #

    And by the way, I must say I love the play of light and shade in this strip.

  38. Liliet
    Liliet
    December 26, 2017 at 1:23 pm | #

    Malaya, honey, you really really didn’t need to shine that lamp AT SAL. Demanding that you point it where it belongs (at the animal) and not at your roommate while the animal sits there confused, does not in fact make Sal an animal hater. It makes you a terrible pet owner.

  39. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    December 26, 2017 at 1:35 pm | #

    The Boondocks’ most unique character (among many) is Uncle Ruckus.

    Somewhere in the third or fourth season, the show devoted an episode to his backstory, and it did the nigh-impossible: It explained how Uncle Ruckus became who he is. Not that it made him everyone’s favorite character, but it did a great job of showing how an ordinary boy was raised into the distempered, cranky, self-hating adult Uncle Ruckus. In turn, I (and some other viewers) felt a bit of…compassion…for him. I had to marvel at how that was accomplished.

    I wonder if Willis has any tricks up his sleeve for Malaya.

    • PB
      PB
      December 26, 2017 at 3:39 pm | #

      I’d like that. Something to make her less one-dimensional. Also that’s my favorite episode besides the Bob Ross one.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        December 26, 2017 at 5:59 pm | #

        The one where Riley is taken under the wing of a painting instructor? That had some great moments and also we saw parts of Riley which are often hidden.

  40. Nep
    Nep
    December 26, 2017 at 2:47 pm | #

    Malaya is a dirtbag and I love her. I hope she never changes.

  41. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    December 26, 2017 at 2:54 pm | #

    Well, pardon me all the way to East Saint Louis. I need my heat, what can I say?

  42. PB
    PB
    December 26, 2017 at 3:45 pm | #

    Seriously though, even with my comments on others’ theories above, I have to wonder: what the fuck is Malaya’s deal?

  43. bleepbloop
    bleepbloop
    December 26, 2017 at 5:52 pm | #

    As much as I usually dislike edgel0rds, Sal really…isn’t one? Which makes Malaya constantly badgering her for being so fake edgy really annoying and unnecessary…like she’s trying way too hard and getting mad at Sal over nothing. Hopefully that was the intention?

    • bleepbloop
      bleepbloop
      December 26, 2017 at 6:06 pm | #

      Nvm, just read through the comments. I was trying to be gentle because I was afraid Malaya was one of those characters that readers like “””BECAUSE they’re an asshole””” and didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. Fortunately she’s not and for the most part everyone agrees she’s awful! I’m also glad people have pointed out the hypocrisy of her “anti-edginess”. “You’re fake because you pretend to not care about anyone ((even if Sal doesn’t…)) but I’M super 100% #real because I’m an asshole :)”. She’s like one of those people that’s like “I’m not a bongo, I’m just honest” and they use that as an excuse to be terrible. Sorry, end rant, Malaya just really pisses me off.

  44. John
    John
    December 26, 2017 at 6:00 pm | #

    Goddammit Malaya.

  45. dralou
    dralou
    December 26, 2017 at 9:58 pm | #

    Welp, it seems it’s back to square one for me when it comes to see Malaya’s appearances. I didn’t care for her in “Shortpacked!” for a very long time, but she eventually became tolerable and I’m fairly certain Willis will make her interesting to read again, but currently… Yeah, I’d rather see Ninja Rick’s adventures.

    Even if the little we’ve seen of her does show her as three-dimensional character, and there really was not that much showtime so I shouldn’t be bothered that much. Yet she makes me shiver with rage.

    I really don’t like feeling I’d beat someone up on the spot but about every time she appears (there are exceptions), she looks more and more like a punching bag to me. And again, this is a part of my personality that I hate and I try very hard to keep in check, I know it’s wrong. I can’t wait for the story to go somewhere else because I’m already mentally exhausted.

    • PB
      PB
      January 6, 2018 at 11:21 pm | #

      … I miss Ninja Rick.

  46. Parzival
    Parzival
    December 27, 2017 at 4:31 pm | #

    Malaya has never been pleasant to read, not in Shortpacked, not here. I get that that’s sort of the point, but she’s like Mike without the redeeming qualities.

    • Emperor Norton II
      Emperor Norton II
      December 28, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

      Mike has redeeming qualities?

  47. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    January 2, 2018 at 9:05 am | #

    Oh great…more Malaya bullshit.

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 23min
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