Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 8, 2026

Tuned

by David M Willis on January 20, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - This Is the Way that We Love
└ Tags: danny, sal

Discussion (203) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. CandidCanid
    CandidCanid
    January 20, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    🙁

  2. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    January 20, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    So there’s just nothing Sal can’t do

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 20, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      Like Walky said way back when, she’s basically Batman, so she trained for years to be the best at everything.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      January 20, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      Can she build a Transformer? Can she pat her head and rub her tummy at the same time?

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        January 20, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

        Daniel the Human can do that. I just glitch out for about an hour if I try…

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          January 20, 2018 at 1:45 am | #

          *Pictures you trying to build a working Dinobot.*

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        January 20, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

        Janet in The Good Place can do the latter now, but it took a few reboots.

        We haven’t seen her build a Transformer yet, but I bet she could do it.

        • Shade
          Shade
          January 20, 2018 at 2:31 am | #

          You give her the schematics and she should have no trouble.

        • TemperaryObsessor
          TemperaryObsessor
          January 20, 2018 at 1:19 pm | #

          I think even the first version of her could build a transformer, but not soon after a reboot.

      • Furie
        Furie
        January 20, 2018 at 4:24 am | #

        If she’s dedicated enough, she can do a fully working Starscream with only 80s LEGO.

      • Severing
        Severing
        January 26, 2018 at 6:40 am | #

        Caboose, right?

    • Rosicrucian
      Rosicrucian
      January 20, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Sal would do anything for love,

      but she won’t do that.

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        January 20, 2018 at 1:09 am | #

        I love that song.

    • StClair
      StClair
      January 20, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Can she breathe in space?

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        January 20, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

        Only one way to find out

        • The Chosen One
          The Chosen One
          January 20, 2018 at 1:27 am | #

          and that way is up.

        • foamy
          foamy
          January 20, 2018 at 6:05 am | #

          Contact Carla?

          • adjudicus
            adjudicus
            January 20, 2018 at 8:41 am | #

            “Hey, Carla, about that catapult suit…”

    • Skater Girl (@syleegrrl)
      Skater Girl (@syleegrrl)
      January 20, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

      Maths, apparently.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 20, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

        Nah, she’s got her grades up to a B.

  3. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    January 20, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    …fair to Marcie ? 😐

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      January 20, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      Awww.
      My first thought was more sibling drama, but it being about Marcie makes sense. Plus, I want to learn more about her, so.

      • Conuly
        Conuly
        January 21, 2018 at 12:25 am | #

        It sort of IS sibling Drama. Most people wouldn’t give up singing (if they enjoyed it, which her sadface seems to indicate) to be “fair” to a mute friend. You have to have a very special type of upbringing to think this level of fairness is necessary.

    • Haven
      Haven
      January 20, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Ohhhh.

      Ouch.

    • StClair
      StClair
      January 20, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

      Yeah, that’s my bet.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 20, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

      Yup~

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      January 20, 2018 at 12:32 am | #

      Good call.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      January 20, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

      Smart thinking.

    • foamy
      foamy
      January 20, 2018 at 2:03 am | #

      That’s where my money is.

    • Kinoko
      Kinoko
      January 20, 2018 at 2:22 am | #

      My brain went there too. Wonder if Marcie used to love to sing? :'(

    • CJ
      CJ
      January 20, 2018 at 3:03 am | #

      Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.
      I rather sure Sal tried to rob the store when Marcie became mute.
      (I wanted to write “dumb” first, thought, no, that’s the wrong word, wrote “mute”, and then looked it up:dumb would have been a right word, too. Used to describe people who can’t speak, how offensive is it?)

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        January 20, 2018 at 4:20 am | #

        I am so uncomfortable with ever using that word -shiver-

        • Wright
          Wright
          January 20, 2018 at 1:45 pm | #

          *points to the title of the webcomic*

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        January 20, 2018 at 4:21 am | #

        if she stopped at 12, then that’s a few years apart from the robbery attempt I think ?

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 20, 2018 at 4:34 am | #

          The aftermath from the robbery attempt is probably why her right hand isn’t so good for playing the ukulele. (Minor tendon or nerve damage from the stab wound.) Bass makes sense because the strings are relatively far apart, and generally with guitar-like instruments you strum with your dominant hand anyway.

          • Eldritch Gentleman
            Eldritch Gentleman
            January 20, 2018 at 5:58 am | #

            Sal should go and look for a temple of mystical mages and then she’ll become a defender of the world!

            • King Daniel
              King Daniel
              January 20, 2018 at 11:29 am | #

              That’s a Strange thing to say.

              • Eldritch Gentleman
                Eldritch Gentleman
                January 20, 2018 at 11:46 am | #

                I hope you are not implying that I should see a Doctor about that.

                • StClair
                  StClair
                  January 20, 2018 at 1:55 pm | #

                  IMO, that would require a Supreme leap of logic from their statement.

                • King Daniel
                  King Daniel
                  January 20, 2018 at 3:57 pm | #

                  Such a thing would indeed be a Marvel.

                • adjudicus
                  adjudicus
                  January 20, 2018 at 11:21 pm | #

                  I don’t know… maybe you don’t have the Time to see one?

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            January 22, 2018 at 2:48 pm | #

            Unless she is left handed it shouldn’t matter, she would still strum the uke with her right hand.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              January 22, 2018 at 3:19 pm | #

              Oops, I am wrong, looks like she is left handed.

        • ValdVin
          ValdVin
          January 20, 2018 at 6:06 am | #

          The robbery was at thirteen, give or take months.

          Is Dorothy the only frosh who is known to be nineteen?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            January 20, 2018 at 8:34 am | #

            Is Dorothy known to be nineteen?

            • ValdVin
              ValdVin
              January 20, 2018 at 9:23 am | #

              Yep, where she and Joyce have a heart-to-heart about Joyce being afraid of sin, and not being afraid of it, and seeing others have what she can’t, while Dorothy wants to baste Walky like a turkey.

              Walky, we just saw on Garbage Roof, is eighteen.

              Others, I don’t know, offhand.

      • WonderRabbit
        WonderRabbit
        January 20, 2018 at 5:50 am | #

        It’s a bit complicated, but I think ‘dumb = mute’ existed first, people started using it as a derogatory insult (the same way ‘retard’ or ‘cretin’ often are), and evolved to mean ‘unintelligent’.

        It’s using a medical condition as an insult that I believe is the real offense, but it’s been used that way for so long now I can completely understand being offended even if it is used correctly to mean ‘mute’.

        • Freemage
          Freemage
          January 20, 2018 at 1:18 pm | #

          Yeah, due to linguistic drift, the ONLY time I would consider using “dumb” for “mute” is the specific phrase, “deaf and dumb”, which underlines that you’re only addressing speech issues.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            January 20, 2018 at 1:45 pm | #

            I believe the preferred term nowadays is nonverbal.

          • Conuly
            Conuly
            January 21, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

            Deaf and dumb is considered pretty offensive.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        January 20, 2018 at 8:44 am | #

        Wow, if you look at the Comic’s title, does it refer to silencing the characters as they approach (legal 18) their 21 years of age (age of Majority in your area)?

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 20, 2018 at 10:44 am | #

        Nowadays, it’s considered a derogatory word for a mute person. It would NOT be correct.

      • Indoor Cat
        Indoor Cat
        February 8, 2018 at 3:44 pm | #

        Unfortunately, dumb pretty much is synonymous with “ditzy,” “stupid,” or “reckless” (aka dumbass) now, so using dumb to mean mute can be seen as a slur.

        It’s sort of like the term “negro.” It’s not the n-word, and plenty of old-school writings, including those by civil rights activists and black abolitionists, use the term. But if someone uses it today, it’s almost definitely offensive and, if the speaker is a native english speaker, connotes serious racist animosity.

        Similar with dumb or crippled. I would be very surprised if someone used either term in a way that wasn’t bullying or had genuinely ableist sentiments, much more-so than, say, someone who said “handicapped” instead of disabled. Handicapped is actually written on some parking spaces still (in addition to the blue wheelchair icon), so it’s an easy mistake to make.

        But dumb and crippled are generally so widely considered insulting that I’d presume insulting intent. Unless the speaker wasn’t fluent in English; in that case, I’d just correct the person and see how it goes from there.

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      January 20, 2018 at 7:18 am | #

      Oh my. Yes, the pieces fit together.

      –Dave, I sing, and now am sad

    • Jason
      Jason
      January 20, 2018 at 7:27 am | #

      This isn’t the first hint we’ve seen that Sal blames herself, is it? So… I wonder what that’s all about. Hm.

  4. electriccombines
    electriccombines
    January 20, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    “STORYTIME!!”
    “No, no damn storytime.”
    “STORYTIIIIME!”
    “Once upon a time when it wasn’t storytime an’ ah was MUCH happier…”

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      January 20, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      LOL
      Sounds familiar, but not sure where from…

      • electriccombines
        electriccombines
        January 20, 2018 at 12:14 am | #

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/05-saturdays-all-right-for-slighting/storytime/ From this strip. 😀

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          January 22, 2018 at 2:52 pm | #

          Or a reference to Sinfest.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      January 20, 2018 at 1:28 am | #

      You know what other all-loving hero enjoys stories the way Joyce does?

  5. Keulen
    Keulen
    January 20, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    Sal’s right hand is the one Amber stabbed when they were both younger, isn’t it?

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      January 20, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

      Yup

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        January 20, 2018 at 12:19 am | #

        Yep, looked it up, confirmed right hand.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/down/
        Tendon damage perhaps?

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 20, 2018 at 1:00 am | #

          According to the books, the knife went THROUGH her hand, not just in her hand. So, yeah, most likely, along with possible bones and muscle and god knows what else.

  6. Nono
    Nono
    January 20, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    For people who actually know music, how important is your dominant hand for the electric bass?

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 20, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

      Sal’s left hand is her dominant one.

    • butting
      butting
      January 20, 2018 at 12:27 am | #

      Most string players fret with their non-dominant hand and pick/bow/strum with their dominant.

      Mark Knopfler does it the other way round (he’s left-handed but plays right-handed) but I can’t think of any others.

      • butting
        butting
        January 20, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

        s/fret/fret-finger/

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        January 20, 2018 at 8:23 am | #

        Sir Paul McCartney, Jimmy Hendrix, Kurt Cobain,… Etc.

        • butting
          butting
          January 20, 2018 at 3:53 pm | #

          (are lefties who play left-handed. Knopfler plays right-handed.)

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 20, 2018 at 3:53 pm | #

        Isn’t it fairly common for lefties to play right-handed instruments, since they make up the vast majority of the market?

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          January 20, 2018 at 4:22 pm | #

          I went back and forth a lot on guitar; lefty felt slightly better, but it meant not being able to play other people’s instruments (the school did at least have one lefty guitar). restringing is a huge PITA.
          huh. the guitar beside me (which I haven’t attempted to play in years) is strung right-handed. guess that wasn’t the one guitar I ever switched to lefty… or maybe I never did that at all, maybe I’m just remembering replacing a snapped string.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        January 22, 2018 at 2:57 pm | #

        My brother is left handed, but plays guitar righty. Also plays most sports right handed.

    • Bladeglory
      Bladeglory
      January 20, 2018 at 12:56 am | #

      You can play with either hand, it’s just about which way you’ve learned it. It’s basically just like trying to eat or write with your non-dominant hand; you’ll suck at first but with enough practice they can be equally good.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      January 20, 2018 at 4:24 am | #

      Whichever way you play, you need both hands, and they are both important. If one of them is not okay, you won’t be able to play fast enough / take the right notes. There’s only 6-7 sounds you can make on a guitar or a guitar-like instrument using only one hand and They Are Not Music.

      • Miri
        Miri
        January 20, 2018 at 5:17 am | #

        She seems able to use the hand in general – just apparently not as well as the left one

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 20, 2018 at 5:10 pm | #

          Yeah, looks like even when you take into account it’s not her dominant hand, she’s lost full use of her right.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            January 20, 2018 at 5:11 pm | #

            By which I mean, ‘she does not have 100% use of it’ not ‘she can’t use it at all’.

      • monkyvirus
        monkyvirus
        January 20, 2018 at 10:59 am | #

        Like most things you can probably do adequately with some impairment in either or both hands. I played saxophone up to Grade 5 (not very impressive but not rubbish) and my friend plays piano and flute even though we both have dyspraxia which means we find it very difficult to be co-ordinated and learn physical movements. We couldn’t be professional musicians in an orchestra but we can play instruments.

        I feel your comment is a little dramatic and discouraging for disabled players. “Not okay” covers a lot of conditions that may not make it impossible to play.

      • leadsynth
        leadsynth
        January 20, 2018 at 11:00 am | #

        So my right-handed guitarist suffered a bad injury on his LEFT thumb 4 days before our big album release show back in October. (He was opening a bottle of wine, somehow broke it, and sliced his left thumb. Ouch!) He had to get stitches in his thumb, and couldn’t really move it.

        He managed to compensate with the rest of his hand and his right hand, and play the show, like a boss.

        Except there was one tune where he actually plays FLUTE instead of guitar, and that was impossible. I had to make a backing track of the flute part that we could play back live, which was doable because we had just finished recording it for said album.

        The worst part: Dude’s day job is a middle school band teacher. He plays every band instrument…but not with his left thumb wrapped up. This month, he was finally medically cleared to play all the instruments, but still doesn’t have 100% feeling in his thumb.

        He’s a total trooper.

        Here’s the album we made. He’s playing guitar, flute, sax, trumpet and trombone in various places!
        https://daynaclay.bandcamp.com/

        (Not tryna sell my music here…we donate all $ from sales to support sexual abuse survivors and suicide prevention causes)

      • McBogue
        McBogue
        January 20, 2018 at 2:54 pm | #

        There’s only 6-7 sounds you can make on a guitar or a guitar-like instrument using only one hand and They Are Not Music

        I beg to differ.

    • JohnF
      JohnF
      January 20, 2018 at 8:19 am | #

      Your dominant hand is the most important one for all the fretted instruments. It’s the hand that makes the noises. The trick is to make them at the right time.

      It’s the right hand (for right handed players) that makes the difference between a back-yard chord basher, and a player.

    • Badtux
      Badtux
      January 20, 2018 at 8:33 pm | #

      If Sal is left handed, then her right hand would fret the electric bass if she plays a left-handed bass. The thing about bass is that you’re not playing chords, just single notes, and so if your fretting hand isn’t the best you’re still okay as long as you can manage the rhythm with your plucking hand and transition your notes to the next chord on time. Plop your bass into drop-D tuning and restrict your playing to the lower three strings and you don’t even need more than one working finger. Les Claypool disagrees, I’m sure. But he’s Les Claypool, not the average workaday bass player in a bar band.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        January 22, 2018 at 2:59 pm | #

        Disagree on the not playing chords thing.

  7. miados
    miados
    January 20, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

    life isn’t fair and you should know that better than a lot of people sal.

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      January 20, 2018 at 12:28 am | #

      While awesome Sal is not life. Therefore Sal is allowed to be fair and should be encouraged to be so.

      • AeromechanicalAce
        AeromechanicalAce
        January 20, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

        Real life should be encouraged to be fair as well. We have to aknowledge that we’ll never be 100% successful, but we should work at it.

        • Arian
          Arian
          January 20, 2018 at 4:32 am | #

          Absolutely. I hate it when people say “Life’s not fair” in response to someone trying to make a particular situation fairer. Things outside your control are quite frequently not fair; things within your control should be made as fair as you can make them.

          • monkyvirus
            monkyvirus
            January 20, 2018 at 11:02 am | #

            “Life’s not fair” is a pet peeve of mine either you actually mean “well random chance decided that” (which ironically is “fair” in that it could happen to anyone) or humans actually have some control over the situation and can do something to make it fairer. It’s basically a phrase used to dismiss someone’s problem / complaint when you can’t bothered to think about it seriously.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        January 20, 2018 at 2:39 am | #

        … how is two people no longer singing more fair than one person no longer singing?

        … Is Sal responsible for Marcie being mute?

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 20, 2018 at 2:43 am | #

          I think it’s more ‘she doesn’t think it’s fair that she still could when her best friend can’t.’

          No, that’s not strictly rational, but emotional situations are, well, emotional. Plus Sal has a serious thing for fair and I am willing to bet that goes double when her friend is concerned.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            January 20, 2018 at 8:37 am | #

            Especially if it was a thing they used to do together.

        • Proxiehunter
          Proxiehunter
          January 21, 2018 at 9:47 am | #

          That I don’t disagree about, but “lifes not fair” is a bullshit cop out.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          January 22, 2018 at 3:06 pm | #

          How do we know this is related to Marcie? Am I forgetting something? Couldn’t she be talking about Walkie, wasn’t that about the time he was working on his churchmouse career?

  8. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    January 20, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    (can’t you play with your left hand primarily, or is there something I’m missing, because I’m mainly a piano guy.)

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 20, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

      Amateur violinist here, for me left hand is far more important than right. Right mostly just needs to be able to hold the bow straight.

      • Jack
        Jack
        January 20, 2018 at 9:29 pm | #

        Amateur cellist here, beg to differ. I think both are equally important; good bow technique is the difference between getting the best out of your instrument and just scraping away.

        The left hand places the notes but it’s the right hand that plays them. All the expressiveness (well, except for vibrato) comes from the right hand.

    • DanLovatClark
      DanLovatClark
      January 20, 2018 at 12:16 am | #

      That might work for a bowed instrument like violin or cello, but guitar and bass (and ukulele) require fine fingerwork on both hands to pluck individual strings or to change the pitch by placing your fingers on the strings.

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      January 20, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

      I was told I was locked out of playing a guitar because at 4, I managed to injure my left hand (non-dominant) so that my middle finger does not bend on its own, therefore I cannot finger the strings on any string instrument correctly.

      • MacDiver
        MacDiver
        January 20, 2018 at 12:36 am | #

        I wouldn’t listen to them. Jean “Django” Reinhardt was able to play the guitar with two fingers and a thumb. He specialized in “Gypsy Jazz” and is considered to be one of the best musicians of the twentieth century.

        • Randrius
          Randrius
          January 20, 2018 at 6:00 am | #

          I believe Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath had something similar, had the tips of two of his fingers cut off in a factory accident and he turned out just fine. Gave him a unique sound because he had to keep the strings loose to properly fret. Just a matter if your willing to accept to the handicap.

          • HMH
            HMH
            January 20, 2018 at 4:57 pm | #

            I think with Iommi it was literally all 4 of his fret hand fingers. He considered quitting music right there, but was already at the level where he was breaking into being professional and saw it as the only way he would get out of his shitty, dead-end town. He initially made his own prosthetic finger tips by melting down the tops of margarine lids and – I forget how – affixing them where his finger tips would be.

            This was part of what led to him using heavier strings so he could tune his guitar down (making the strings easier to fret), creating the backbone of what would become the Black Sabbath sound and the birth of the heavy metal genre. Ironically – or aptly – it wouldn’t exist without a rogue piece of heavy industrial machinery mangling a man.

      • Koms
        Koms
        January 20, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

        Accidental birdies??

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        January 22, 2018 at 3:08 pm | #

        There is no “correct” way to play chords, just whatever works for you, and the sequence you are trying to play.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          January 22, 2018 at 3:10 pm | #

          Oh, or you could play lefty guitar.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      January 20, 2018 at 1:11 am | #

      The two hands do different things, but both of those things are important for playing the instrument.

      But for accompaniment, as long as one hand can strum and the other hand can finger the chords, you’re pretty much good to go.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      January 20, 2018 at 4:26 am | #

      so basically it’s up in the air how uninjured your hands need to be to play but there’s no physical way to play with just one, it’s just not how string instruments work

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        January 20, 2018 at 4:56 pm | #

        Google “one armed guitar player” and you’ll find several of them. Also a guy who has no arms and plays guitar with his feet.

  9. Some1
    Some1
    January 20, 2018 at 12:09 am | #

    Dungeons and Dumbing Part 2

    And so our heroes travel on their merry quest. Over fields of wheat and grass while Danny serenades them with the melody of his instrument.

    Dorothy: Jeez I wish he knew a song other then the Steven Universe opening.

    Walky: I wish we had food.

    Billie: Worst comes to worst, we can eat Danny.

    Joyce: Hey there’s a village.

    Dorothy: Really? Maybe they have some way to get directions

    Walky: Or pizza.

    Dorothy: Walky, were in a magical universe of fantasy, they aren’t going to have a pizza place.

    Walky: Here we are.

    Dorothy looks up to see a hanging wooden sign with PIZZA written on it in dark red letters.

    Dorothy: Oh.

    Soon, they sit around a dark wood table. Waiting for their food. Danny tunes his uke, while Billie nurses a bottle of mead, while Walky and Joyce examine their weapons. Dorothy sits thinking.

    Joyce: You okay Dorothy?

    Dorothy: Just thinking.

    Joyce: About what?

    Dorothy: Nothing here makes any sense, why is there a pizza place, and why is the sign in English? What are the chances that everyone here would speak English?

    Danny: Maybe it’s like the Neverending story?

    Dorothy: You did read it! Still, most of us weren’t reading when we were transported here.

    Joyce: And what’s up with that creepy voice? And why did it give us such poor directions?

    Walky: maybe this is one of those situations where no matter where you go its, the right way.

    Dorothy: There’s a map store across the street

    Walky: Oh.

    Waiter: Pizza’s ready!

    Joyce: Oooh pepperoni!

    Billie: I see mushrooms.

    Walky: Sausages and ham, and pepperoni…

    Dorothy: So, were all seeing different things?

    Waiter: Ah yes, this is the famed pizza of the magical family Kzar. Each person who consumes it sees the flavor they want the most.

    Dorothy: So, while I see a Margherita

    Walky: I see meat. What do you see Danny?

    Danny: Ham and Pineapple.

    (Message from the writer: if anyone feels like starting an argument about pineapple on pizza in the comments…don’t. (unfortunately, as I am not Willis and as such lack the ability to ban people, if you do feel the need to start an argument related to pineapples and pizza, I shall reply with mean words AND YOU WILL KNOW THE MEANING OF FEAR!))

    Walky: Cool.

    And so, they ate, and then went to the map store, but that my dear friends are a story for another day…specially tomorrow.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      January 20, 2018 at 12:12 am | #

      Pineapple on pizza rocks.

      On the other hand, if we’re talking about broccoli…

      • GoblinScribe
        GoblinScribe
        January 20, 2018 at 12:50 am | #

        Broccoli on pizza is weird, but it’s a heck of a lot tastier than pineapple. Do you weirdos put sugarcubes on your ham sandwiches?

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          January 20, 2018 at 12:54 am | #

          Honey’s pretty much pure sugar, isn’t it?

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          January 20, 2018 at 6:07 pm | #

          Pineapple and pizza isn’t any weirder than fruit paste (tomato sauce) on pizza.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      January 20, 2018 at 1:19 am | #

      (This comment has nothing to do with pizza.)

      The combination of pineapples and any kind of tomato-based sauce is an abomination. Period. End of story.

      • Some1
        Some1
        January 20, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

        this entire comment thread is just going to be about pizza isn’t it?

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          January 20, 2018 at 1:54 am | #

          No, at least some of it is going to be about how Danny doesn’t even realize he’s playing his ukulele out of tune, and at this point some of his comrades are remembering the fate of Sir Robin. (“And there was much rejoicing.”)

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            January 22, 2018 at 3:12 pm | #

            Dammit, I was going to make a Monty Python reference.

        • foamy
          foamy
          January 20, 2018 at 2:17 am | #

          Pizzas are a type of sandwich.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          January 20, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

          I dunno, I could see veering off into a discussion of pineapple generally, even when pizzas aren’t involved.

          • Some1
            Some1
            January 20, 2018 at 3:03 am | #

            The pineapple pizza represents bisexuality, is something I just decided. But because the symbolism somewhat makes sense I’m going to say that was the plan all along.

            • ValdVin
              ValdVin
              January 20, 2018 at 6:00 am | #

              Well, pineapple pizza is really not my taste, but I wouldn’t presume other people enjoy their pizza exactly like mine.

              This het guy asks, Is that the bi symbolism?

            • Jenny
              Jenny
              January 20, 2018 at 9:17 am | #

              Can confirm- am bi and I like pineapple on my pizza

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      January 20, 2018 at 6:05 pm | #

      “Dungeons and Dumbing”? Why not “Dumbing and Dragons”?

  10. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    January 20, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    Look, I feel like, yeah, it’s understandable to feel very upset about some stuff that we don’t know about but was more than definitely super tragic.
    And you definitely haven’t been to therapy for it.

    But I’m also getting the sense that you kinda like hanging on to these habits way too much for it to be healthy.

    I mean, you tuned someone’s ukulele.
    THAT’S gotta stop.

    • Jason
      Jason
      January 20, 2018 at 7:32 am | #

      It’s hard to say without more information but I feel like Sal has latched on to certain things as part of her identity- like Marcy being the only one there for her, who loved and accepted her for her. So there’s an element of clinging to what she has, given what she wasn’t given as a child from her family.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 20, 2018 at 8:40 am | #

      Sal has been to therapy. At least in the wake of the robbery.

      It’s left her with a very low opinion of therapists.

  11. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    January 20, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

    Flashbacking! Flashbacking! Whenever the plot is lacking!

  12. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 20, 2018 at 12:17 am | #

    Is it wrong that one of the first thoughts in my mind was ‘oooh, we have an age where Marcie went mute now?’

    Look, Sal is my favourite character, Marcie’s probably my second, and we don’t tend to get many details about them, so I will take what I can get.

    Also – ouch. That’s honestly older than I thought she might have been but still. Ow.

    Sal’s definitely got a thing for fair.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      January 20, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

      Absolutely. She has seen way too much unfair in her life.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      January 20, 2018 at 1:24 am | #

      I had no clue what “wouldn’t be fair” was referring to, and I thank you for being the clue-bringer.

      Also, regarding the alt-text: is Willis outing Sal as one of those weirdo music majors?

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 20, 2018 at 1:34 am | #

        Sal is currently listed as ‘undeclared’ in the books but I’d not be shocked if she gets nudged into music.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      January 20, 2018 at 2:30 am | #

      Totally read that too. Maybe Marcie was a great singer?

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 20, 2018 at 2:42 am | #

        Or maybe they liked to sing together? Who knows.

  13. kitty
    kitty
    January 20, 2018 at 12:18 am | #

    here is kitty’s finnish word of the day!

    varvas (toes)

    varvas looks like a homestuck word. i can make a fan troll named sokeri varvas and most people would not realize their name is really sugar toes

    have a nice day!

    • RacingTurtle
      RacingTurtle
      January 20, 2018 at 12:31 am | #

      You’re silly. I like that. I hope you also have a nice day.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      January 20, 2018 at 4:27 am | #

      please make this troll

      • kitty
        kitty
        January 20, 2018 at 6:16 pm | #

        ok http://i64.tinypic.com/14ngwpf.jpg

  14. Beef
    Beef
    January 20, 2018 at 12:21 am | #

    I SO want to see this back story. DON’T TEASE ME WILLIS

  15. Bagge
    Bagge
    January 20, 2018 at 12:33 am | #

    Panel 4 is SUCH a Danny moment. Sal raises a challenge and he deflects it with a compliment.

    A good egg.

    • Rachel
      Rachel
      January 20, 2018 at 3:58 pm | #

      Definitely agree!

  16. jeffepp
    jeffepp
    January 20, 2018 at 12:34 am | #

    And, the smile is gone.

  17. Poskie
    Poskie
    January 20, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

    Oh my god sal tell me more i love you

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      January 20, 2018 at 2:20 am | #

      I think that Marcie probably feels more than a little guilty that Sal is punishing herself for her.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 20, 2018 at 8:41 am | #

        Sal will punish herself for that too.

  18. Koms
    Koms
    January 20, 2018 at 12:52 am | #

    Poor Marcie. Sal is a good friend.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      January 20, 2018 at 5:05 pm | #

      Oooh…that sucks

  19. Morrison
    Morrison
    January 20, 2018 at 1:07 am | #

    She gave her best talent up. Just for her friend. And her hand is related. Was Marcie a guitarist who gave it up for Sal’s hand? So many questions. There are answers too. A huge strip.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 20, 2018 at 1:12 am | #

      I think she just brought up her hand because it was stabbed, but that would be too adorable.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        January 20, 2018 at 1:37 am | #

        Stopped singing at twelve, convenience store holdup a year later. One big year in her life.

        This is gonna be turbulent and full of feels.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 20, 2018 at 1:38 am | #

          Yeeeeep.

        • Morrison
          Morrison
          January 21, 2018 at 7:12 pm | #

          Amber was 13. Sal could have been 12.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      January 20, 2018 at 5:54 am | #

      Nice “Gift of the Magi” nod. That is something two people who love each other (romantic or non) strongly enough would do.

  20. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 20, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

    That alt text though – How much of a fit do you think Linda would throw if Sal became a music major?

    I’m not sure Linda would normally care but A) I presume she and Charles are paying for her to go to college and we KNOW she thinks that gives her special input. And B) She seems like she doesn’t pay much attention until Sal does something ‘wrong’ or ‘unseemly’ or ‘unwise/unprofessional’ at which point there will be arguing. A lot.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 20, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

      * how much of a fit do you think Linda AND Charles will throw.

      I’m not letting him off the hook, dammit, he’s a shitty parent too.

      • dethtolldotmid
        dethtolldotmid
        January 20, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

        let’s be completely real, charles has no say in this

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 20, 2018 at 2:41 am | #

          No say in majors, I will buy. No say in treating his daughter like shit, nah uh. Not letting him off the hook for it.

          • Jason
            Jason
            January 20, 2018 at 7:40 am | #

            There are degrees of shittitude. I didn’t get a strong vibe of shittiness from Charles. He seemed genuinely happy to see both his children and sad to see Sal leave.

            As for his comment on her hair- here’s the thing. In a situation like that I would assume it’s NOT about Sal at all. I would assume it’s more about his own insecurities being projected onto Sal. Does that make it okay? Hell no, but if I’m right it does explain it, allow us to understand him.

            I feel like Charles was a problematic parent not really in what he did, but in what he failed to do- that is, failing to call out Linda on her shit. I might be wrong but I feel like on the shittiness scale he’s relatively low. Not a good parent, sure, but made so much worse by his counterpart. What would he have been like as a parent with a different wife? Who knows. But I think it’s telling that in flashbacks he’s barely been seen at all, and I don’t think he’s ever spoken- he’s only ever in the background if there at all. She made the impact. He failed to stop her.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 20, 2018 at 10:00 am | #

              I ….really don’t agree. Every time Sal talks about her problems at home, she says it was BOTH parents. And of the two, Charles is the only one we’ve seen insulting her to her face. I’d think if he was projecting, he’d have his hair relaxed as well, but he doesn’t and he seems cool with that.

              And failing to stop Linda still makes him pretty shitty. But I’m pretty sure this was a team effort, with Linda being the (more) obvious hacking at insecurities and criticizing and Charles poking at sore spots until they’re busted open. The thing is, neither of them are SUPPOSED to look like blatantly obvious bad parents. They’re both pretty subtle. So, yeah, I expect the smiling and the ‘oh but you’re so pretty’ and the ‘aw, you’re leaving? Why ever for?’ crap. That’s the point – they think they’re good people and good parents and yes, they’re capable of acting happy to see Sal and being disappointed she left, but it doesn’t change that both of them have been pretty terrible.

              • Joy
                Joy
                January 21, 2018 at 4:44 pm | #

                Thank you.

  21. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    January 20, 2018 at 1:36 am | #

    Oh Sal didn’t pick a major yet? No big, she has plenty of time to decide.

  22. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    January 20, 2018 at 2:10 am | #

    It took me eight years to declare the major that I would eventually graduate with.

    • Ivy
      Ivy
      January 20, 2018 at 3:19 am | #

      Were you attending college the whole time?
      College is so expensive…

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        January 20, 2018 at 7:24 am | #

        Relevant Roger Zelazny book: _Doorways in the Sand_.

        –Dave, contains roof-climbing and dimensional transposition as well

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        January 20, 2018 at 12:50 pm | #

        My parents paid for my first two years at a small liberal-arts college. I repaid them by dropping out and becoming a short-order cook.

        At the time, community colleges in California were essentially free, and I took a few courses there.

        When I returned as a full-time student, I went to a local California state university, which was not free but was still cheap enough that I could pay for it by working full-time in the summer.

        If we as a state, if we as a country, were smart, we’d still be subsidizing education to the degree that we used to. 🙁

  23. Ivy
    Ivy
    January 20, 2018 at 2:14 am | #

    Bet she just screwed up his tuning

    • Badtux
      Badtux
      January 20, 2018 at 8:38 pm | #

      Nope. There’s plenty of evidence elsewhere that Ukelele Danny is utterly tone deaf. Just watch the reaction of people around him when he starts playing….

  24. BenRG
    BenRG
    January 20, 2018 at 2:18 am | #

    This is the first time that it’s been said that Amber has left Sal with permanent injuries. Suddenly a lot of her personality snaps into focus if that stupid cry for attention that night took away something from her that she loved.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 20, 2018 at 3:00 am | #

      I don’t think she learned to play bass yet. She said she learned it by screwing around at school. I guess that COULD mean her elementary school, but I interpreted that as her boarding school.

      But yeah, considering the knife apparently went through her hand, I’m not surprised there was permanent damage done.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        January 20, 2018 at 5:51 am | #

        The first paragraph: Ooh, I hadn’t thought of that. Agree with your take.

        She’s a lefty who holds the ukulele rightly. Now wondering if that would be different without the stabbed hand.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 20, 2018 at 9:53 am | #

          Nah, the robbed the place holding the knife in her left. She’s always been a southpaw.

    • CJ
      CJ
      January 20, 2018 at 3:25 am | #

      I’m not sure it was just a cry for attention. More like was she trying to raise money for an operation that could help Marcie?

      I wonder what would happen if Amber and Sal told their stories about the hold-up to each other. They’ve both been severely damaged by it, and part of that damage is not what they inflicted themselves but the acts of desinterested (Sal) or malignous (Amber) parent figures.
      Would Sal wish to be fair be strong enough not to hate Amber for damaging her hand? Would Amber be able to see herself as anything else than a mega monster (as if having stabbed a helpless girl in the hand wasn’t enough to feel like a monster, how could she deal with a tragic back story and having left permanent damage?)

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        January 20, 2018 at 5:00 am | #

        Assuming she could even stay coherent in Sal’s presence long enough to hear and process the story, Amber would definitely spiral down the garbage-hole. Hell, some (most) of the reason for the Amazi-Girl alter is that she’s completely convinced that she’s a violent rage monster who needs to be someone else in order to be kept in check. It seems much of that belief is rooted in her attack on Sal. Learning that Sal’s not that objectionable, that she did permanent damage, that she took away the music Sal loved, and that (speculation) Sal was trying to steal money to pay for a medical treatment to save a young girl’s voice would just make that all a thousand times worse.

        Sal… huh. I’ve got no fuggin clue about how Sal would react. Shrug her shoulders, say it was years ago? Apologize for the robbery? Hold a major grudge? Go berzerk? Be terrified? (She’s tough, but she’s gotta still have nightmares about that moment.) Reveal that it wasn’t Amber who stabbed her and that Amber’s memory and Willis’s evil have been feeding us an unreliable narrative all along? Aside from mentioning that she robbed a convenience store, we’ve seen her give pretty much zero reflection to that event. We have very little clue how she’d react to meeting Amber and knowing their shared past.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 20, 2018 at 8:48 am | #

        I really don’t like the idea that she was trying to raise money for Marcie. It’s possible, but I prefer it being more of an acting out thing rooted in her various traumas. Something unambiguously wrong that she’s recovering from, rather than something with noble intentions.

  25. PB
    PB
    January 20, 2018 at 3:14 am | #

    It took me a minute to realize she was referring to Marcie.

  26. Chaucer59
    Chaucer59
    January 20, 2018 at 3:39 am | #

    Come on, Sal, SING! You can do it. You know you want it 🎶 SING!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      January 20, 2018 at 5:04 am | #

      Maybe some Sound of Music will inspire Sal to sing!

      *commence screaming in 5… 4… 3…*

  27. Danni
    Danni
    January 20, 2018 at 4:05 am | #

    the get along ukulele

  28. Vika
    Vika
    January 20, 2018 at 6:01 am | #

    =c

  29. Nenja
    Nenja
    January 20, 2018 at 6:29 am | #

    ooooh, can we get some more backstory?

  30. Pidgey
    Pidgey
    January 20, 2018 at 8:57 am | #

    Hey so the whole ‘my right hand isn’t so good’ made me think. I went back and when Sal is being tutored she has her pens to the right of her paper. Does anyone know of any other evidence for or against her using her right hand to write? Wondering about nerve damage and how severe it could be.

    • Pidgey
      Pidgey
      January 20, 2018 at 8:57 am | #

      Was she stabbed in the right or left?

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        January 20, 2018 at 9:10 am | #

        She was stabbed in the right hand.

        I have my sinister reasons for rooting for left-handed characters. Link:

        http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/88122537107/dumbing-of-age-has-four-left-handed-main

        • Pidgey
          Pidgey
          January 20, 2018 at 10:02 am | #

          Thanks! To me this means maybe she means that it’s a right handed instrument and so awkward for her? As opposed to actually being unable to play now?

          • Pidgey
            Pidgey
            January 20, 2018 at 10:03 am | #

            Also my brain read this as

            “I have my sinister reasons for rooting for left-handed characters like Link”

            Which I just went ‘oooh legend of zelda!’

        • Yossarianduck
          Yossarianduck
          January 20, 2018 at 11:33 pm | #

          “Sinister”
          I see what you did there.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      January 20, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

      Sal is canonically left-handed. It’s mentioned somewhere in the Tumblr but I can’t zip to it.

      I know nothing about whether she might have been a righty before the hand stabbing.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 20, 2018 at 9:55 am | #

        She wasn’t. She held the knife in her left hand.

        • ValdVin
          ValdVin
          January 20, 2018 at 1:44 pm | #

          Somehow I shoulda remembered that. It was a big moment.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            January 20, 2018 at 5:13 pm | #

            Eh, I usually don’t remember details like what hand people hold things in. I just remember it because Willis commented on it when people were wondering if she was born left handed.

  31. JBento
    JBento
    January 20, 2018 at 10:38 am | #

    So, uh, I hear that for the 1st-year anniversary of this presidency, you got a government shutdown as a gift? What’s the implications of something like that? Over here, if the government fails to govern (generally by being unable to pass their budget) we just get a new one.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 20, 2018 at 10:39 am | #

      Here’s a pretty decent article explaining what happens: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/01/19/us/politics/government-shutdown-employee-effects.html

      • JBento
        JBento
        January 20, 2018 at 10:50 am | #

        Thanks. That doesn’t look TOO bad. I mean, the EPA, Labour, and Agriculture would suck are terrible, but it’s not like they’re allowed to do much now, anyway?

        Thanks.

      • JBento
        JBento
        January 20, 2018 at 10:55 am | #

        Wait, hold on, how are the military working if they’re not getting paid? Doesn’t that go against theeee… uh… 15th ammendment?

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          January 20, 2018 at 11:33 am | #

          The military (like all federal government employees) get back-pay for any lost salary once a government shutdown is over.

          • JBento
            JBento
            January 20, 2018 at 11:39 am | #

            Oh, ok, thanks

          • JBento
            JBento
            January 20, 2018 at 4:27 pm | #

            Oh, turns out the military will not, in fact, get paid. According to people in the military, they’ve already been informed of this, Granted, I don’t know these people and they could be lying about being in the military or about nor getting paid, but some dude called Mick Milvaney (who apparently has the authority for it) has already said he’s going to make sure they’re not getting paid.

            • King Daniel
              King Daniel
              January 20, 2018 at 9:35 pm | #

              Doing a quick Googling of that name brings up Mick Mulvaney, who’s apparently the Trump appointee to Director of the Office of Management and Budget; since he’s apparently responsible for the “President’s Budget”, though, I’m not sure he’d have any authority over whether or not the military will get back pay afterward (I’d imagine that would be under the authority of the Department of Defense or similar – the salary is only paid on the 1st and 15th of every month anyway, so unless this shutdown lasts for two weeks or more…). I could be wrong, though the part about the back pay is what I was told myself.

  32. R.J.C.
    R.J.C.
    January 20, 2018 at 10:46 am | #

    I wonder what would happen if Amber saw Danny and Sal got together?

  33. PB
    PB
    January 20, 2018 at 3:55 pm | #

    I feel like Sal DEFINITELY has perfect pitch, based on the third panel. If so, WHEEE REPRESENTATION!

  34. Pebble
    Pebble
    January 20, 2018 at 4:53 pm | #

    Huh. Everyone’s probably right about this being about Marcie. But my first assumption was that it was about the good twin/bad twin thing and the way their parents had them performing on TV, etc. Maybe Walky was a perfect and lovely boy soprano, and while he was having singing lessons and being encouraged in his singing talent, Sal was allowed to go along to the lessons as well; then at 12 Walky’s voice broke and his adult voice was much less wonderful and praiseworthy, so he gave up singing at that point. And if Sal sang at all from then on, her parents would discourage her from “showing off” and rubbing her brother’s face in her talent. So she was forbidden her music and self-expression in order to coddle Walky’s ego.

    • TemperaryObsessor
      TemperaryObsessor
      January 20, 2018 at 5:28 pm | #

      I think if her parents did that to her, her answer would be I sing but not like in a choir or anything it was always more Walky’s thing and when his voice broke he lost interest. I don’t see her giving up something she really loves because her parents say she doesn’t deserve good things if Walky would have to put even a little effort into having them.

      • rectilinearpropagation
        rectilinearpropagation
        January 21, 2018 at 1:25 pm | #

        I could see her giving it up if her parents wanted her to (she still straightens her hair because her parents prefer it that way) but I don’t see her agreeing with her parents that it wouldn’t be fair.

  35. RandomRedMage
    RandomRedMage
    January 20, 2018 at 8:31 pm | #

    Yup shipping it.

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