Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 11, 2026

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by David M Willis on August 9, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 06 - Yesterday Was Thursday
└ Tags: jennifer, joyce, sal, walky

Discussion (113) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jacob
    Jacob
    August 9, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    Must. Hear. Theme Songs!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 9, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

      Yes, must hear all 30 theme songs.

      • Jackson
        Jackson
        August 9, 2011 at 12:39 am | #

        She’s probably exaggerating. It’s probably only five.

        • dchorror
          dchorror
          August 10, 2011 at 1:31 am | #

          This is Joyce.

          • Jackson
            Jackson
            August 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm | #

            Point.

      • David Herbert
        David Herbert
        August 9, 2011 at 3:01 am | #

        With epic guitar solos.

      • Led
        Led
        July 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm | #

        “Songs About Sal’s MC – The Theme CD, featuring Joyce, Walky and (by blackmail) Billie.”

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      August 9, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

      Some thing humanity was not meant to know ( or in this case hear).

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 9, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

        Like what? The voice of Cthulhu?

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          August 9, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

          More like Justin Bieber.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            August 9, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

            …and Uwe Bull.

            • Jacob
              Jacob
              August 9, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

              Eezts Uwe Boll, and hee’s thee only Genius in the Fucking Bizeness!

        • |Agent
          |Agent
          August 9, 2011 at 3:55 am | #

          Hey, you never know, Cthulhu could have a great singing voice! Of course, the only song he knows is the song that ends the Earth.

          • arjay2813
            arjay2813
            August 9, 2011 at 9:29 am | #

            Cthulhu is actually Lovecraft’s vision of an alien: something we (humans) wouldn’t find appealing, and that has a mind the likes of which we could not understand, it would drive us insane. for example, we are Cthulhunid to an ant.

            • arjay2813
              arjay2813
              August 9, 2011 at 9:30 am | #

              what i meant is, it wouldn’t actually destroy the earth, that would be us after the mass-insanity

              • Rowen Morland
                Rowen Morland
                August 9, 2011 at 10:52 pm | #

                That always happens to the ants in my garden.

  2. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 9, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    30 Theme Songs? Obsessive much Joyce?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 9, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

      More like creative. 30 theme songs about motorcycles, that must take a lot of time and effort to do.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 9, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

        Hence the obsessive part.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 9, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

          Yeah but it’s about a cool motorcycle, who wouldn’t write a song about it?

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            August 9, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

            This is joyce we’re talking about.

            • Bickendan
              Bickendan
              August 9, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

              Yeah, they probably all have some underlying Christian theme.

              • Kavonde
                Kavonde
                August 9, 2011 at 3:22 am | #

                “I’m a good Christian girl / to the end of my days / feel the power of Christ / throbbin’ ‘tween my legs.”

                • turkishproverb
                  turkishproverb
                  August 9, 2011 at 4:45 am | #

                  ….

                  So, it’s christian Erotica?

                • Jackson
                  Jackson
                  August 9, 2011 at 10:31 am | #

                  Aaaaaa that’s terrible! It doesn’t even rhyme.

      • MM
        MM
        August 9, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

        You’re assuming she doesn’t just change around a few words and notes.

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          August 9, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

          That might be assuming to much.

        • Joe
          Joe
          August 9, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

          It’s really just two theme songs with fifteen verses each.

  3. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    August 9, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    Billie really doesn’t hate the motorcycle she is jealous of it though.

  4. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 9, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

    *imagining Billie pressing her assets into Sal’s back as the vibrations of the engine tingle their neither regions*

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      August 9, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

      *drool*

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 9, 2011 at 12:19 am | #

        And I don’t think I need to mention which part of Sal Billie might be needing to cup onto to stay on the bike as it is moving. 😀

        • Joe
          Joe
          August 9, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

          Her stomach?
          Most people would be hugging her stomach.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            August 9, 2011 at 12:26 am | #

            but of cause… where else could I possibly be thinking of… 😛

            • Fady
              Fady
              August 9, 2011 at 5:49 am | #

              Shoulders?
              The neck?
              The neck would probably be a really dangerous place to hold on to. It is utterly irresponsible. What were you thinking?

          • 1Samildanach
            1Samildanach
            August 9, 2011 at 1:20 am | #

            Many bikes have grab rails, too. You can also get grab belts. Which option is preferred depends on the individuals concerned.

            • Alechsa
              Alechsa
              August 9, 2011 at 9:56 pm | #

              You icon… makes that all the more epic… Like Sal is trying to derail the Billie-Sal shipping XD

              • 1Samildanach
                1Samildanach
                August 10, 2011 at 1:00 am | #

                Now that you point it out… yeah. Especially with the grumpy expression :D.

      • meanderling
        meanderling
        August 9, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

        That’s a pretty apt icon, too.

    • turkishproverb
      turkishproverb
      August 9, 2011 at 4:46 am | #

      Only if We can also imagine Mike and Ethan are dating in this universe.

  5. Lee
    Lee
    August 9, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

    Some of these songs are entire verses of the word “VROOM” sung over and over, I would assume.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 9, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

      That actually makes sense, I can totally see Joyce doing that.

    • MrGBH
      MrGBH
      August 9, 2011 at 5:14 am | #

      Vroom vroom vroom vroom.
      Vroom vroom vroom.
      Vroom vroom vroom vroom.
      Vroom vroom vroom.

      • katamanda
        katamanda
        August 9, 2011 at 10:26 am | #

        Am I mistaken or are you doing this to the rythm of Private S. Baldrick’s epic war poem, ‘The German Guns’?

        • MrGBH
          MrGBH
          August 9, 2011 at 5:18 pm | #

          And here I was worried that no-one would get the reference.

  6. Janette
    Janette
    August 9, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    …Joyce is so a closet homosexual in this verse.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      August 9, 2011 at 12:17 am | #

      I was think bisexual.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 9, 2011 at 12:20 am | #

        bikesexual? 😛

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 9, 2011 at 5:08 am | #

          Are you bikesexual today?

        • Zaratustra
          Zaratustra
          August 9, 2011 at 6:16 am | #

          Next: Joyce gets a motorcycle of her own, but it’s a pink Vespa.

          • ryan
            ryan
            August 9, 2011 at 8:25 am | #

            don’t knock the vespa, it was in FLCL.

          • Jackson
            Jackson
            August 9, 2011 at 10:52 am | #

            Mental image of Joyce cruising down the highway on her Vespa, wearing wraparound sunglasses and a leather jacket over her blouse and sweater vest, blasting Petra.

  7. Dierna
    Dierna
    August 9, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

    30 songs about a motorcycle?? Christian songs no doubt. What’s next? A fan fic where Psalty and Co meet a singing motorcycle? 😛

    • meanderling
      meanderling
      August 9, 2011 at 12:26 am | #

      Y’know, I actually have vague memories about going to some bible camp as a kid and there was a song about God having a moterbike. I could be nuts though.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        August 9, 2011 at 1:24 am | #

        You or the other kid.

  8. Confuzor
    Confuzor
    August 9, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

    The nerd in me wants one of those songs to be cheesy lyrics added to the Thundertank theme ^_^

  9. Daeva
    Daeva
    August 9, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

    God I’m gonna hate myself for this…

    …but I came to this comment section, and I need to deliver this message…

    College Girls on Motorcycles!!

    • Björn
      Björn
      August 9, 2011 at 5:09 am | #

      COLLEGE GIRLS ON MOTORCYCLES?!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 9, 2011 at 10:10 am | #

        Yes, COLLEGE GIRLS ON MOTORCYCLES!

        • Jackson
          Jackson
          August 9, 2011 at 10:37 am | #

          College girls on motorbikes!

        • Shade743
          Shade743
          August 9, 2011 at 10:41 am | #

          COLLEGE GIRLS ON MOTORBIKES! <-Shade743 Fail

          • Shade743
            Shade743
            August 9, 2011 at 10:42 am | #

            God darn it! Got beaten to it…

  10. thatgirlwiththeglasses
    thatgirlwiththeglasses
    August 9, 2011 at 1:10 am | #

    30 theme songs, Joyce? MUST. HEAR.

  11. b
    b
    August 9, 2011 at 1:19 am | #

    Motorcycle Motorcycle
    I Want To Ride My Motorcycle Motorcycle
    I Want To Ride My Motorcycle
    I Want To Ride My cyc
    I Want To Ride My Motorcycle
    I Want To Ride It Where I Like

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      August 9, 2011 at 1:23 am | #

      4 out of 10.

      • CP
        CP
        August 9, 2011 at 3:14 am | #

        Come on, a Queen homage deserves better than 4. Give it a 7.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 9, 2011 at 5:09 am | #

          No, a Queen homage deserves an 8 or more.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 9, 2011 at 1:59 am | #

      Is that the title or is it the lyrics?

      • Black Bumblebee
        Black Bumblebee
        August 9, 2011 at 7:24 am | #

        Here’s the song, right here, for those who are confused: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8XXS1v2TNQ

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      April 12, 2014 at 12:25 pm | #

      I don’t want a pickle
      I just wanna ride my motorcycle.
      And I don’t waahnah diiiie
      I just wanna ride my motor cy.cle

  12. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    August 9, 2011 at 1:42 am | #

    Walky and Joyce are like brother and sister.

    In that they bicker and fight right up to the moment they share a common goal.

  13. Shifty
    Shifty
    August 9, 2011 at 1:43 am | #

    I swear, if you imagine someone in real life saying half the things Joyce says, there’s a major creep factor, particularly if that person is constantly smiling and staring at you with big eyes.

    And was Joyce hoping to be able to ride on the bike too? I’m imagining all three girls mounted on that this, and if I were straight, it would probably be somewhat arousing.

    • TomatoClone
      TomatoClone
      August 9, 2011 at 1:56 am | #

      The creeper vibe is exactly why Billie gets to ride the bike, she doesn’t have it.

      • 1Samildanach
        1Samildanach
        August 9, 2011 at 2:30 am | #

        She just has a crazy vibe :D.

        • MrGBH
          MrGBH
          August 9, 2011 at 5:15 am | #

          I’d say more of an angry vibe. And Sal can identify with that.

    • gangler
      gangler
      August 9, 2011 at 10:06 am | #

      I know some people like her from church. Always saying weird campy things like that. Rallying up the spirits. Try and get you involved in their bizarre activities they come up with just to figure out how to spend the day wholesomely. Never stops smiling.

      Maybe it’s just because I was raised among them but it doesn’t really come across as creepy at all imo. Pretty standard fair. She didn’t get to bring all her disney movies and has no one to play obscure board games with and there’s only so many ways one can praise the lord in a day. It’s either start brewing up some twilight fanfics and finding wholesome subjects to sing about or start exposing herself to the dangers of the secular media, and we wouldn’t want that. Gotta keep the mind busy somehow. An idle mind wanders into the devils playground and whatnot. She could find herself thinking about boys in improper ways or get curious about punk rock and then who knows what would happen? Why she might walk to school the next day with piercings everywhere, dressed in skimpy leather with her hair in green spikes and just start kissing every boy on the campus, and then the devil pretty much owns her ass.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        August 9, 2011 at 5:10 pm | #

        Logic puzzles are the best way to keep your mind busy. And what do you have against punks and goths. They are some of the nicest people you could every meet.

        • gangler
          gangler
          August 9, 2011 at 9:21 pm | #

          Just a humorous examination of the mentality. I don’t actually have anything against either group, but I also don’t feel that a temptation to listen to a couple punk rock songs is likely to have the night culminate in getting sixteen piercings, buying a new wardrobe and some hair products so you can go to school the next day in such a state.

          Also a bit of a jibe at Joyce in the implication that she’d view kissing a bunch of boys as “Succumbing to the desires of the flesh”, and the notion that she’d just be dressed like this running around kissing boys systematically before moving on to the next one is supposed to imply that she wouldn’t actually be acting like anything real but rather her misinformed notion of what someone who has “strayed from the path of God” and accepted punk rock and lust into their lives would look like.

          Also I just think it’s really hilarious to picture Joyce dressed like that doing the “Rock Out” symbol with her hand and razzing random people in the halls.

          The devil owning her ass is supposed to create a mental image of Joyce dressed as such in compromising positions with Satan in hell, which is in my head just satirical of the entire notion of youthful music forming the path to hell.

          It’s also intentionally an outdated “New Rock and Roll”. I’m sure a lot of our parents enjoyed punk rock too when they were young or perhaps still today. Not really the most offensive thing on the market anymore. Pointing out how sheltered Joyce is. Exaggerating it to the point that she quite likely hasn’t heard of anything that’s happened in the music industry outside of Christian Rock since the eighties. Still viewing The Ramones as a new sensationalist devil music of sorts.

          “Punk is nothing but Death and Crime and the Rage of a Beast!”

  14. NF
    NF
    August 9, 2011 at 1:46 am | #

    This. Strip. Is. Awesome.

  15. wynne
    wynne
    August 9, 2011 at 2:04 am | #

    Awww, Joyce and Walky are bonding already. Not really. But they certainly get stuck together a lot.

  16. Undrave
    Undrave
    August 9, 2011 at 2:35 am | #

    How long does it take to walk to their dorm from the classroom? And they’re going to ride a motorcycle to save 15 minutes? Really? Wasteful much?

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      August 9, 2011 at 3:06 am | #

      Figure walking to the bike/parking/the ride takes 5 minutes. That means walking is 20 minutes. That’s probably a mile, since Billie wouldn’t jog. Many motorcycles get ~60 MPG. Call it $3.60 a gallon for gas. Sal’s wasting 6 cents. Not even worth worrying about.

      • CP
        CP
        August 9, 2011 at 3:16 am | #

        That’s even assuming Sal wasn’t going to ride it in that direction anyway. She obviously doesn’t have another class for a while – who’s to say she wasn’t going off campus for some reason regardless?

        • ryan
          ryan
          August 9, 2011 at 8:34 am | #

          no, i think she will take billie to the RA with the signed agreement. sal is a man of her word.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            August 9, 2011 at 5:13 pm | #

            Sal is a “woman of her word”.

            • Izzy
              Izzy
              August 9, 2011 at 8:01 pm | #

              Sal is a man of her word

              • Mkvenner
                Mkvenner
                August 9, 2011 at 8:11 pm | #

                Pre-op or post-op.

  17. Kat
    Kat
    August 9, 2011 at 5:27 am | #

    I feel like there’s hope for Joyce. She’s got a rebellious streak a mile wide in her. Maybe some day she could be a …. liberal.

  18. Animal
    Animal
    August 9, 2011 at 7:13 am | #

    I don’t want a pickle
    Just want to ride on my motorsickle
    And I don’t want a tickle
    ‘Cause I’d rather ride on my motorsickle
    And I don’t want to die
    Just want to ride on my motorcy…cle

    – Arlo Guthrie, The Motorcycle Song

    Yes, I am that old.

    • Aslee
      Aslee
      August 9, 2011 at 8:30 am | #

      It’s better than having ‘Alice’s Resturant’ stuck in your head, I assure you. ‘The Motorcycle Song (The Significance of a Pickle)’ is a much better choice.

      ((OH GOD, I’m only seventeen, WHY DO I KNOW THIS???))

      • bramble
        bramble
        August 9, 2011 at 4:10 pm | #

        Why is it that simply reading “having ‘Alice’s Restaurant’ stuck in your head” is enough to get “Alice’s Restaurant” stuck in my head? Why?

        ((ALSO YES I am only 21 so I am right with you on the WHYYYY bit.))

        • Animal
          Animal
          August 9, 2011 at 9:33 pm | #

          No why here. I’m… well, older than 21.

        • boogily
          boogily
          August 9, 2011 at 10:50 pm | #

          it’s because you had a proper upbringing 😀

          • Animal
            Animal
            August 10, 2011 at 7:15 am | #

            In the 1960s.

  19. LeaLeonis
    LeaLeonis
    August 9, 2011 at 7:55 am | #

    I know at least one of these Theme Songs will go Jesus ride the bike abroad, Hallelujah, Jesus ride the bike abroad…

    A variant may be I was born to preach and pray, everything I need (yus)/ I was born with my forehead down, I was built for Jesus.

    Or the all time classic: Motorbike/ It’s how I live my life/ I can’t take it if I cannot pray/ Motorbike/ My sign of living chaste/ It’s going to take your breath away! – Don’t stop for nothing, it’s Jesus or nothing!

    Never underestimate the unbound creativity of a Chrisitan mind. 🙂

    • coobee
      coobee
      August 9, 2011 at 8:05 am | #

      I was thinking The lord is my motorcycle
      I shall not want…

      Maybe even I’m special because
      God has loved me for he gave
      The best thing that he had to save me
      His own motorcycle
      Cool I really want one too
      For all the good things I have done…

      • LeaLeonis
        LeaLeonis
        August 9, 2011 at 8:52 am | #

        Very nice… sadly, I don’t know many gospel songs myself, since it’s been hell of a while since I last came in contact with church and got rid of most of my memories thereof.

        My parents understood quite soon that taking me to church isn’t the best of ideas. I just don’t get the vibe of it. I almost laughed out loud at a relative’s funeral because the preacher said something like “Jesus loves all of his sheep and won’t let them stray”. (It’s weird how many zoophiliac references are in the bible if you think about it.)

  20. Tenn
    Tenn
    August 9, 2011 at 9:37 am | #

    My actual, physical reaction on reading Joyce’s final line was to double over like I’d been punched in the gut, and then start giggling like crazy. 😀

    And then I thought: “But will she sing the theme toons?” 😉

  21. Gerardo Tejada
    Gerardo Tejada
    August 9, 2011 at 9:37 am | #

    I can lead my own life
    There’s no love, no love left here
    Master of disguise
    I’ve been in your sky and you weren’t there

    A motorcycle man
    And Jesus was his name
    He’s out on His ride
    Believe in Him and never die

    Beardfish “Roullete” Psichedelic/Space Rock

  22. Jack Faire
    Jack Faire
    August 9, 2011 at 9:45 am | #

    I am sensing impending doom as in the horizon look oh my god no it can’t be yes it is oh god Sal’s Bike the Musical! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!

    • Chumpy
      Chumpy
      August 9, 2011 at 7:03 pm | #

      These are the actual lyrics.

  23. TheBenenator
    TheBenenator
    August 9, 2011 at 10:17 am | #

    I vote for the motorcycle getting its own hashtag. It is a recurring character.

  24. goatman95111
    goatman95111
    August 9, 2011 at 10:40 am | #

    She probably just did a Seal, and made remixes of the same three songs ten times.

  25. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    August 9, 2011 at 10:47 am | #

    To be fair, if I had a motorcycle, I would be singing my theme song every place I went.

  26. LeaLeonis
    LeaLeonis
    August 9, 2011 at 11:03 am | #

    If I had a motorcycle, I’d just turn up the radio and play my theme song.

    It would probably be “Confusion” by Alice in Chains.

  27. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    August 9, 2011 at 2:13 pm | #

    “Ride, ride, ride, let it ride!”

  28. Rachel
    Rachel
    August 9, 2011 at 3:08 pm | #

    I love that despite their fight earlier, Joyce and Walky still are getting along pretty well. That Mountain Dew mixture from earlier must have really broken the ice!

  29. Sporkaganza
    Sporkaganza
    August 9, 2011 at 6:57 pm | #

    I guess everybody loves a bad girl, even Joyce.

  30. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    August 9, 2011 at 9:46 pm | #

    100

  31. Jimbo
    Jimbo
    August 9, 2011 at 11:23 pm | #

    i would LOVE to hear Joyce’s theme songs for the bike

  32. Hannover Fist
    Hannover Fist
    August 10, 2011 at 3:31 pm | #

    A few likely candidates:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm7EeuWnc-8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g52D8Jsw8Vk&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrpN-ATz4jU
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YgRtUI2rzw
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hzmQMBxDFc&feature=related

  33. Kelsey
    Kelsey
    August 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm | #

    Try writing thirty more, Joyce. That oughta do the trick.

  34. SgtNumnum
    SgtNumnum
    November 7, 2013 at 4:24 pm | #

    How many of the theme songs were filled with Bible verses?

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