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“These aren’t the penises you’re looking for”
“These aren’t the penises we’re looking for”
“He can now get down to bidness”
“You can now get down to bidness”
“Bang a gong”
“Bang a gong, bang a gong”
Quotes from the porn edition of…oh, you know – that movie. Argh! Tip of my tongue…no, not literally – wait, what?
He’s my messiah! Why can’t you just let me be with him! You’re ruining my life, mom and YHWH! I hate you FOREVER! I’m totes running away, and one day I’ll be more famous than you and you’ll regret this!
Not to mention was already dealing with its estranged brother Islam so it couldn’t devote full attention to its child Christianity. Family squabbles whattareya gonna do?
That’s not math, that’s science. There’s no reason for Christian fundamentalist homeschooling kids to be bad at math, or any other subject not related to evolution, the age of the Earth, or other trigger subjects, and the sort of parents who care enough to homeschool probably raise your chances of getting a good education in general. For that matter, from what I’ve seen of materials, such a kid might well know more biological facts than average… presented of course in a framework of “the glory of God’s Creation” rather than “and this is how evolution makes it all make sense.”
Reading, writing, ‘rithmetic — no reason for Joyce to be flawed in any of them. Or chemistry, or physics outside astronomy and radiodating, or knowledge of living species. Evolution and history of the US, those are other matters…
Math is a touchy subject for a lot of Fundies, or at least it was. Copernicus, Gallileo, Beethoven, Bach, Da Vinci. All of them loved math, all of them got in big trouble for using it to disprove the bible. Big time.
I think it’s less Sal not liking Joyce, more Sal trying to mask her utter apathy towards her math class.
She knows Joyce means well, but she doesn’t want to run the risk of Joyce trying to save her grades by admitting she doesn’t much care. And Joyce does come off as sort of a buttinski.
I really don’t like the way the characters are drawn in profile. Their mouths look super creepy, like they’ve turned part baleen whale or something, suddenly. Just a little minor input.
Joyce’s triangle grin defies the laws of physics, in the same way her blue eyes defy the laws of outline coloration. The cuteness is truly an unstoppable force.
Joyce could honestly make for an interesting sort of horror movie villain. Sure, the conventional killers are always a good stand-by, but there would be something to be said about a horror villain character who is constantly happy, will follow you around 24/7, and who will either try to convert you into believing in Jesus or force you into marrying her. It’d be kinda like the Stepford Wives meets Single White Female.
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SAL WHY DON’T YOU ASK THE TA WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE
oh wait
Agreed 100%. Come on, Sal, pretend to care about math just a little bit longer! Keep walking down there!
…No?
Rats.
You mean, help her with his penis?
As Joe would reply, “With my penis”.
And Mike would reply, ” With your mom for a nickel.”
Jason’s penis can’t do that. It’s too British.
(Jason is very British in the earlier webcomics. Dunno if that’s been mentioned in DoA yet.)
No no no….Willis has said multiple times that we are not to even MENTION the earlier webcomics. These are not the same people we once knew!
If Jason is no longer British, I will MUTINY.
I would also like to make it clear, the British penis is perfectly adept at helping young ladies with their maths problems should the need arise.
Yeah but you gotta convert from metric.
Or the penises we once knew.
Dr. Seuss’ little known book, “Oh, The Penises You’ll Go”.
“These aren’t the penises you’re looking for”
“These aren’t the penises we’re looking for”
“He can now get down to bidness”
“You can now get down to bidness”
“Bang a gong”
“Bang a gong, bang a gong”
Quotes from the porn edition of…oh, you know – that movie. Argh! Tip of my tongue…no, not literally – wait, what?
And then they can make out, right next to the regenerating innards of her dead brother!
Joyce as a tutor? That could be interesting…
“Interesting” in the same way that a car wreck is “interesting”.
Interesting as in that mysterious growth on that guy’s neck looks interesting.
Interesting in the same way hilariously bad fanfiction is interesting.
“Interesting” in the way that Jack Chick Tracts are “Interesting”.
Interesting in the same way as an over the top Super Robot anime.
That’s a very optimistic viewpoint.
No, that’s the awesome kind of interesting. We’re talking about the “Oh God, it’s so horrible, yet I can’t look away” kind of interesting.
Okay, how about as interesting as your most hated person getting mauled by 400 bears?
So you’re talking about Rupert Murdoch?
It’s my “Oh God, it’s so horrible yet I can’t look away” moment.
I’d totally secretly read that fanfiction =P
Interesting in the same way lemons are interesting.
Combustible lemons?
i liked your last dp better
dp? What’s that?
either a Director of Photography or double penetration.. I think there MIGHT be a definition I don’t know of
Will Jason Be making another appearance in the near future?
Well they have made 12 films featuring Jason already, so who knows.
Not that Jason and you kown it. >:(
Holy Shit! How did ya know? Are you psychic or somethin’?
So question of the day, how does this disappear her?
JOYCE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU SAL…SHE LOVES YOOOUUUU
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, Joyce Brown will find you and offer you tracts.
Joyce is a very at-tract-ive chick.
She’s helping Sal get on the right tract for school
Huge tracts of land, m’boy!
This may make me feel old but for some reason with Aizat’s remark I am reminded of the 1980’s pilot “Pryde of the X-Men”.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna turn around and desert you.
I have no choice but to reply with a Rickvana!
Now that is interesting.
I actually like that song.
Joyce would love that song for its sincerity.
Thus begins Sal and Jason.
That sounds like an 80’s sitcom.
Sal and Jason, starring Mary Tyler Moore as SSL and Dave coulier as Jason, with guest spots by jaleel white as Walky, sit ubu sit, good dog
Godammit my stupid phone wrote SSL instead of Sal
Curses! Foiled again!
Dagnabbit!!
Curse you, Joyce Brown!
I never realized this chapter’s name is “Yesterday was Thursday”.
GJ, David, GJ!
Karma is shaped like Joyce?
Will Sal be able to pull off a Karma Houdini?
I defy your link!
I will get you next time DC, NEXT TIME!
Aww, I fell into the trap.
*isn’t sleeping tonight*
The sad part of this being that I was able to defy your link because I was already on tvtropes.
Been forever since I’ve seen anyone call me that.
*cat sounds*
Now would be a really good time to teach Billie some crazy ninja skills, Sal.
Why doesn’t Sal just disappear like batman?
You cannot escape Joyce. She can find you even if you went of the grid.
She’s like a golem. A smiling, Christian golem. With chick tracts.
she can’t be a golem they’re Jewish, now Joes a golem, a sex golem, following out the orders of his maters with his penis
Christianity started off under the umbrella of Judaism. Then they had a bit of a disagreement and Christianity eventually left home.
He’s my messiah! Why can’t you just let me be with him! You’re ruining my life, mom and YHWH! I hate you FOREVER! I’m totes running away, and one day I’ll be more famous than you and you’ll regret this!
Not to mention was already dealing with its estranged brother Islam so it couldn’t devote full attention to its child Christianity. Family squabbles whattareya gonna do?
Um, no. Christianity is older than Islam.
Buddhism is older than Christianity.
I thought hyper Christians were bad at math.
Earth = 6000 years old and all that.
Newton was a Hyper Christian.
But he wasn’t mentally deficient.
After the mercury he was!
That’s not math. That’s inability and/or unwillingness to understand carbon-dating.
That’s because it comes with a carbon tax.
And the hate taxes because money grubbing penny-pinching misers who kill poor people.
Fundies don’t believe that marriage should be between a man and a carbon.
That’s not math, that’s science. There’s no reason for Christian fundamentalist homeschooling kids to be bad at math, or any other subject not related to evolution, the age of the Earth, or other trigger subjects, and the sort of parents who care enough to homeschool probably raise your chances of getting a good education in general. For that matter, from what I’ve seen of materials, such a kid might well know more biological facts than average… presented of course in a framework of “the glory of God’s Creation” rather than “and this is how evolution makes it all make sense.”
Reading, writing, ‘rithmetic — no reason for Joyce to be flawed in any of them. Or chemistry, or physics outside astronomy and radiodating, or knowledge of living species. Evolution and history of the US, those are other matters…
Math is a touchy subject for a lot of Fundies, or at least it was. Copernicus, Gallileo, Beethoven, Bach, Da Vinci. All of them loved math, all of them got in big trouble for using it to disprove the bible. Big time.
Persistent isn’t she? Joyce, I mean.
I suddenly have the urge to yell out, “BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!” After seeing Sal’s Blue eyes comment.
Joyce is more like “Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon”.
Joyce has three heads? Oh god, now she’s more nightmare fuel by the second.
I SUMMON BLUE EYES WHITE JOYCE!
I would have thought that Joyce would be more of a Trap Card than a Monster Card.
Joyce used A Tract!
Blue Eyes White Devil.
What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
He’s black.
Go on.
He’s bald.
Does he look like a bongo?
What?
*Shots Aizat* DOES…HE…LOOK…LIKE A…bongo?!
*Yells in pain* NOOOOOOO!!!!
Then why’d you try to f*** him like a bongo, Aizat?
I didn’t.
You read the Bible?
No.
Oh, good cause I’m running late for my next appointment. So don’t do it again.
Mike’s shoulder is in the first frame, so this gets a “mike” tag. LOL
Well, we can mark “Bad with Schoolwork” off the bingo card, at least.
Me feels Sal doesn’t like Joyce too much. Just a feeling.
I think it’s less Sal not liking Joyce, more Sal trying to mask her utter apathy towards her math class.
She knows Joyce means well, but she doesn’t want to run the risk of Joyce trying to save her grades by admitting she doesn’t much care. And Joyce does come off as sort of a buttinski.
I really don’t like the way the characters are drawn in profile. Their mouths look super creepy, like they’ve turned part baleen whale or something, suddenly. Just a little minor input.
Okay, actually checking back a ways, this is only done with Joyce. It’s still creepy.
Joyce is creepy.
When Joyce stared into the abyss, the abyss looked away out of terror.
And yet Joyce chased after it, trying to give it a hug and a Chick tract.
The abyss blinked.
Joyce’s triangle grin defies the laws of physics, in the same way her blue eyes defy the laws of outline coloration. The cuteness is truly an unstoppable force.
Okay I understood the first laws but I’ve never heard of the second ones you mention.
Is it me, or is the entire world tilting to the left in the fourth panel?
Back, and to the left…
Why does Sal still have a southern accent in this alternate universe? She wasn’t raised in the south in this universe was she?
Probably picked it up at Catholic school in… Tennessee, was it? *Is Australian and doesn’t know American state locations very well*
Today’s comments are utterly random.
As random as finding a person who have the same name as you.
With one exception, I don’t think any of the comments today were random, much less utter. Which actually makes yours random, so two…
Joyce reminds me of that skeleton from Animaniacs in Panel 5.
Good idea: helping a friend with their homework
Bad idea: helping a friend with their homework with your penis
Cute. I like.
Haha, Joyce is just too cute! :3
I think I reveal my gender with this comment: Sal should definitely go without the jacket more often.
That really doesn’t reveal your gender.
Just your preference.
Quick Sal look for a window!
or would Joyce follow her down the window!?
Joyce would already be on the otherside waiting for her.
Joyce is Nightcrawler.
…It actually took me about a full minute of searching before I found Mike.
Joyce could honestly make for an interesting sort of horror movie villain. Sure, the conventional killers are always a good stand-by, but there would be something to be said about a horror villain character who is constantly happy, will follow you around 24/7, and who will either try to convert you into believing in Jesus or force you into marrying her. It’d be kinda like the Stepford Wives meets Single White Female.
Eh, this comic’s ok
I keep hearing Ironhide’s voice coming out of Sal’s mouth.