Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 8, 2026

Walmart

by David M Willis on September 12, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 06 - Yesterday Was Thursday
└ Tags: dorothy, jennifer, joyce, sal, sarah

Discussion (109) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    September 12, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    Roz and Billie WOOOOO

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      September 12, 2011 at 2:20 am | #

      And thus began the fan fic writing.

      • nothri
        nothri
        September 12, 2011 at 12:50 pm | #

        Your statement implies that the fanfic writing ever stopped….

        • dchorror
          dchorror
          September 13, 2011 at 2:14 am | #

          Or that it wasn’t already in motion.

  2. Henry
    Henry
    September 12, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    That’s Sal. Livin’ it up.

    • Jamal K.
      Jamal K.
      September 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm | #

      Just like your avatar!

      • Blob Marley
        Blob Marley
        September 13, 2011 at 11:33 am | #

        FIFTY.
        MCNUGGETS.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 12, 2011 at 6:11 pm | #

      Walky’s idea of a party involves a Monkey Master marathon on a big screen, a couch and lots of McNuggets.

  3. Eric
    Eric
    September 12, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    What is five folks? Does she literally mean five people?

    • Rikushadow5
      Rikushadow5
      September 12, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

      Indeed.

    • Carapace (@Carabrains)
      Carapace (@Carabrains)
      September 12, 2011 at 12:57 am | #

      No, no- Five Folks. You know- Dwarves, Elves, Humans, Hob–er, Halflings, and Dryads Or Whatever. Sal only rocks out DnD style.

      • Shade
        Shade
        September 12, 2011 at 9:40 pm | #

        I know DnD is my idea of a party.

  4. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    September 12, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    The only thing missing from Sal’s idea of a party are rifles and pickup trucks.

    • RachelEvil
      RachelEvil
      September 12, 2011 at 2:12 am | #

      Those were implied by “Wal-Mart.”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 12, 2011 at 6:33 am | #

        I am not too familar with the details of Wal-mart as I am not an American.

      • gangler
        gangler
        September 12, 2011 at 7:07 am | #

        I thought they sold Ammo but not guns. Maybe that’s a quirk of our Canadian gun control though.

        Can you buy Rifles at Walmart south of the border?

        • MacFluffers
          MacFluffers
          September 12, 2011 at 9:00 am | #

          In the south, it’s pretty common, but in the north, it’s unheard of. I don’t think Rachel’s right about the implication.

          • Blal
            Blal
            September 12, 2011 at 10:50 am | #

            The implication is that the regulars of Wal-mart are the type of people to drive a pickup with a well-stocked gun rack in the back. It’s a pretty well known stereotype even if it’s not technically correct for most of the country

            • gangler
              gangler
              September 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm | #

              Ah, that makes sense. I forgot about the Walmart consumer = Redneck trailer trash line of humor. I haven’t heard one of those jokes in three, four years easily.

              I get it now. Sorry for needing the joke explained.

          • mpark6288
            mpark6288
            September 12, 2011 at 10:51 am | #

            I’m not in the south, and I can buy rifles or shotguns at my Wal-Mart.

            • Jimmy
              Jimmy
              September 12, 2011 at 11:01 am | #

              I’m in the south and I can’t.

      • Jamal K.
        Jamal K.
        September 12, 2011 at 5:26 pm | #

        Sam’s Club has ’em in bulk 😉

  5. iSaidCandleja-
    iSaidCandleja-
    September 12, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Sal’s party sounds like my after-party. You can see some “interesting” people going to and from walmart at 2am.

    • Mint
      Mint
      September 12, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

      The question is what do those people think when they see you.

    • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      September 12, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

      Just go to peopleofwalmart.com, save yourself the trip.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      September 12, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

      That’s not a party, it’s an “intimate get together”.
      I’m talking I to the N to the T-I-M-A-T-E get together!

      • BoringRocks
        BoringRocks
        September 12, 2011 at 9:33 am | #

        And if it were a party, it wouldn’t be Sal’s party, it would be MY party!

    • Valdrax
      Valdrax
      September 12, 2011 at 11:20 am | #

      Do you mind if I ask a question that’s always bothered me now that I see the opportunity?

      What’s the attraction to parking lots? I mean, they’re empty and featureless, provide no shelter against the elements, have no good places to sit down, and provide no privacy. Why on Earth do drive to a Walmart or grocery store parking lot and hang out there when they could go to someone’s house or yard or a park or *anything else*?

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        September 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm | #

        In part the attraction os all those things you describe. Because they are such an unattractive hangout the odds if getting caught are low. Nobody is supicious when they see a car there because, well, it’s a parking lot and cars are expected to be there. If the drivers are drunk no prob, the cars are parked already so no DUI.

      • artemi
        artemi
        September 15, 2011 at 9:42 am | #

        Also, because the cars then become a welcome and huddled around part of the party, and many of the people who do those sorts of parties enjoy showing off their rides. Also, cars come with stereos, so a music selection is already handled, and because they are, well, cars, they can be sat in when cold or sat on when hot.

        It’s a parking lot, so there’s not a ton of biting mosquitoes and ticks and such that you might get in a grassy yard, and it’s already clear so you don’t have to worry about tripping over stuff in the dark.

        If the cops come ’round, you already have transport out, meaning a quick get away. You already have plenty of space so if someone rolls up late or has to leave early, you don’t need to find a parking space around the block or have the hassle of moving cars in the driveway to get someone out.

        Really, the list goes on and on.

  6. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    September 12, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    Billie is still fully dressed? They clearly didn’t get past 3rd base then. 😛

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      September 12, 2011 at 12:23 am | #

      I don’t see a fully dressed Sal in that shot.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 12, 2011 at 12:28 am | #

        That is a very good point; hope springs eternal.

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          September 12, 2011 at 1:14 am | #

          Sal and Billie! My new OTP.

    • George
      George
      September 12, 2011 at 1:20 am | #

      Your avatar today scares me for reasons I cannot fully comprehend.

      Also, Ruth should totally be Dorothy’s second if Joyce gets talked out of it. Just because.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 12, 2011 at 6:32 am | #

        That is because a happy Ruth means that somewhere, there is a person dying from the violent removal of their femurs.

    • fellixe
      fellixe
      September 12, 2011 at 3:52 pm | #

      Did I miss something? After that almost phobic reaction to the holding on the motorcycle I’d almost expect “wear clothes at all times” to be writen into their roommate agreement.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        September 12, 2011 at 6:06 pm | #

        The inference we were drawing was that Billie and Sal did something MORE than JUST sign an agreement, that something naughtier.

      • 47
        47
        September 12, 2011 at 10:29 pm | #

        Also I think there was a joke in the comments a few strips back about Joe’s “make out now” powers actually working on Billie and Sal without anyone realizing it.

  7. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    September 12, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    But that would only be six beers per person. What kind of redneck is she?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 12, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

      A very cheap one it seems.

    • ryan
      ryan
      September 12, 2011 at 8:26 am | #

      i thought the “each” was implied.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm | #

      You are also assuming it will be CANS of beer not BOTTLES.

  8. taekwondogirl
    taekwondogirl
    September 12, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    Sal’s party sounds like a typical rural midwest party.

    • Animal
      Animal
      September 12, 2011 at 7:06 am | #

      Trust me. No honest rural midwestern party would get by with only five people or one case of beer.

      • taekwondogirl
        taekwondogirl
        September 12, 2011 at 2:10 pm | #

        Well, Sal’s a bit anti-social so I figure she kind of modified the standard. My dad grew up in rural Illinois and I’ve heard a lot about his high school days and how they hung out, hahaha.

        • Animal
          Animal
          September 13, 2011 at 7:15 am | #

          I grew up in Iowa in the 60s and 70s. Dad raised Black Angus cattle, corn and soybeans. I have some expertise in midwestern rural parties myself. Back then there would typically be four or five kegs and about two hundred people involved, and the venue was usually a mowed hayfield, woodlot or someone’s barnyard.

  9. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    September 12, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    Billie: “Hey, Creepy Guy, wanna go to a party?”

    Creepy Guy: “Does it involve flying bones and bursting eyeballs and screaming women drowning in seas of blood as dogs chew out their n-”

    Billie: “Never mind.”

  10. Graham S.
    Graham S.
    September 12, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

    I’d party with Sal.

    • Kide
      Kide
      September 12, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

      Yes. Yes I would too.

    • Rikushadow5
      Rikushadow5
      September 12, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

      Hate beer, but I would also party with Sal.

    • Asuka L.S.
      Asuka L.S.
      September 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm | #

      I bet she’d be cool to hang out with in general. Still, I think I look at her a little to similarly to Joyce to have a reliable, unbiased opinion…

  11. Rikushadow5
    Rikushadow5
    September 12, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    Better to party with 4 good friends than 400 people you don’t know.

    • Zap Rowsdower
      Zap Rowsdower
      September 12, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

      Unless its a party where they have to give you stuff, in which case quantity over quality.

      • Rikushadow5
        Rikushadow5
        September 12, 2011 at 3:49 am | #

        But what if they all give you a penny?! Then you only have $4 to show for it.

        • ryan
          ryan
          September 12, 2011 at 8:28 am | #

          that’s still $4 richer than before the party.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            September 12, 2011 at 10:32 am | #

            Depends on who’s buying the beer.

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      September 12, 2011 at 1:48 am | #

      That greatly depends on your party goals. None of my close friends want me to Joe them.

      • Doom Shepherd
        Doom Shepherd
        September 12, 2011 at 1:49 am | #

        …and that statement is 40% funnier with this icon.

  12. NF
    NF
    September 12, 2011 at 12:19 am | #

    Sal’s idea of a party is somewhat frightening to me.

  13. parissyndrome
    parissyndrome
    September 12, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

    lol wrong window.

    Looks like Sal’s idea of a good party is anything that involves steers and police showing up.

  14. Undrave
    Undrave
    September 12, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

    So Sal and billie are friends now? They bonded over their common dislike of Ruth?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 12, 2011 at 10:33 am | #

      I think Billie has bonded over beating Ruth at something, and Sal just doesn’t care enough either way to actively bother not being friendly.

      • Just for kix
        Just for kix
        September 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm | #

        How come she is not disappearing anymore?

        • Wackd
          Wackd
          September 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm | #

          She and Billie made a deal that she stick around long enough to get the roommate agreement hammered out.

  15. agentksilver
    agentksilver
    September 12, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

    Yesssss. Billie in her element.

  16. Alex
    Alex
    September 12, 2011 at 12:29 am | #

    Sal’s idea of a party sounds like my town’s idea of a party

  17. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    September 12, 2011 at 12:35 am | #

    Sal sounds like a gal who knows how to have a good time.

  18. Greg
    Greg
    September 12, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

    I love Billie’s body language in the last panel.

    Also, Sal has reminded me that it’s very hard to tell between hipsters and strange southerners.

  19. Kaci
    Kaci
    September 12, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

    She’s not coming because she knows if she shows, the world’s awesome quotient will be maxed out.

  20. Wix
    Wix
    September 12, 2011 at 12:48 am | #

    I… I feel like I’ve been stereotyped just by reading that… <— Floridian College Student

  21. myfiststhirstfornecks
    myfiststhirstfornecks
    September 12, 2011 at 12:49 am | #

    Fist pumpin’ time
    un tiss un tiss un tiss un tiss

  22. ShifterComic
    ShifterComic
    September 12, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

    That essentially is how kids party these days. Any time I go to Walmart there are at least two groups of kids huddled around a pickup truck “living it up.”

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      September 12, 2011 at 1:16 am | #

      That’s lame. They’d have more fun playing Apple to Apple.

      • Undrave
        Undrave
        September 12, 2011 at 1:16 am | #

        Oh a rousing game of BANG! Now that’s an awesome game. Especially if you get the Dodge City expension set and play with 8 people! TWO RENEGADES!

  23. Shifty
    Shifty
    September 12, 2011 at 1:49 am | #

    Honestly, I’d prefer Sal’s party to a college party. I never found them all that fun. It was a lot of posing, obnoxious drinking, and shocking amount of relationship drama at a lot of them. The most fun I normally had as a small group of friends, just kicking back and doing our own things.

    Although I’d prefer not doing it at a Wal-Mart Parking lot. Maybe Target…

    • RachelEvil
      RachelEvil
      September 12, 2011 at 2:14 am | #

      Honestly, most of the college parties I went to involved five folks and a case of beer…

  24. wynne
    wynne
    September 12, 2011 at 2:23 am | #

    The sad part is that in the middle-of-nowhere town that my college resides in, going to the Walmart on a Saturday night is considered a good time even without the beer.

  25. RaijinK
    RaijinK
    September 12, 2011 at 2:24 am | #

    “Sarahs”? I only see one in the comic…

    • Björn
      Björn
      September 12, 2011 at 6:20 am | #

      My guess is Willis made a typo in the tags.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 12, 2011 at 10:37 am | #

      There’s another of her standing precisely behind the first one of her, so that the first one blocks the view of the second one. She’s so opposed to the very idea of her suggestible roommate becoming drunken drug-using party girl mark 2 that she’s spontaneously cloned herself in rage.

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        September 12, 2011 at 3:57 pm | #

        She’s beside herself

  26. Aizat
    Aizat
    September 12, 2011 at 2:25 am | #

    Walmart? Seriously, Sal?

  27. Steven
    Steven
    September 12, 2011 at 3:00 am | #

    You know, we don’t KNOW yet if that’s not what the party is about, yet.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 12, 2011 at 10:42 am | #

      It probably will turn out to involve five folks, a case of beer, anna Walmart parking lot.

      Per the last comic Dorothy thinks that Joyce would not be comfortable at the party, by the way. She could be just guessing of course – though she does know the venue in which it will be taking place, which might give a clue. Also Roz implied that it might be hard to find here there, suggesting a rather large crowd. Lots and lots and lots of people playing Apples-to-Apples, perhaps?

    • Pat
      Pat
      September 12, 2011 at 11:30 am | #

      That’s what I was thinking. How does Billie know all this information she’s telling Sal?

  28. coobee
    coobee
    September 12, 2011 at 3:29 am | #

    ‘Hey, Sal!’ Hahaha, my OTP is coming along nicely.

  29. Grimlockimus
    Grimlockimus
    September 12, 2011 at 6:13 am | #

    Ain’t no party like a Wal-mart Party, cause a Wal-mart party don’t stop!

    I’m hoping Walky ends up being there too, I’m anticipating the inevitable Walky/Joyce moment.

  30. gangler
    gangler
    September 12, 2011 at 7:11 am | #

    Sal’s idea actually sounds way more fun.

  31. Anne
    Anne
    September 12, 2011 at 7:37 am | #

    Wild girls gonna go wild.I am looking forward to this.

  32. katzgoboom
    katzgoboom
    September 12, 2011 at 7:48 am | #

    Anyone else think Joyce is absurdly like Sally at the beginning of When Harry Met Sally? Get rid of the religiousness and they’re practically identical.

  33. narmenduke
    narmenduke
    September 12, 2011 at 9:12 am | #

    I’m really starting to dislike Sarah. Yes, she’s had some shit to deal with, and yes, people are treating her unfairly over the thing with her roommate, but the whole “You’re stupid for wanting to go to a party, they suck and you suck and people suck” deal is getting a little old.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      September 12, 2011 at 10:38 am | #

      Methinks she doesn’t want another roommate that’s a drunken drug using party girl. So any step in that direction would be a bad one.

      • narmenduke
        narmenduke
        September 12, 2011 at 12:27 pm | #

        No, it wouldn’t be, because simply going to one party, or even several, isn’t necessarily going to make one a “drunken, drug-using party girl.” Plenty of people (most, actually) can regularly party without becoming total burnouts.

        And c’mon. It’s Joyce. She’s got about as much chance of becoming a party girl as Joe has of falling madly in love with Walky.

        • Asuka L.S.
          Asuka L.S.
          September 12, 2011 at 1:26 pm | #

          Actually, I suspect that her reaction was entirely BECAUSE it was Joyce and Dorothy. Sarah is keenly aware that Joyce has absolutely no experience with drinking and general college reverie, and Dorothy exhibits a similar lack of experience.

          To not declare their pairing a bad idea would be like approving of giving a blind man a blind guide dog.

          Her opposition to Billie going with them is fairly straightforward as well: Billie is a hardcore partier, and would probably try to talk them into doing things that they (esp. Joyce) would rather not do.

          Sarah’s a bit of a busybody in this case, but she’s not driven by internal angst and rage. It’s genuine concern, I think.

          • narmenduke
            narmenduke
            September 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm | #

            Hmmm. That could also be true. Even if that is the case, though, I do think she’s going about it a bit too angrily. But that would make me like her a bit more, even if she is being a busybody.

          • Andy
            Andy
            September 12, 2011 at 9:24 pm | #

            We have yet to see her show any concern for anything besides herself, so I’m skeptical that she’s genuinely concerned for the roommate for whom she apparently has mild dislike.

            • Asuka L.S.
              Asuka L.S.
              September 13, 2011 at 12:53 am | #

              Having conducted a thorough re-examination of the archive to gather information about interactions between Joyce and Sarah thus far, I find your skepticism to be reasonable.

              It is entirely plausible that Sarah is simply trying to prevent her roommate from becoming a party-hound like Billie for her own convenience. At the least, she still bears deep wounds from her experiences.

              See: Sept. 20, 2010 “High”; Apr. 22, 2011 “Chaser”; Jul. 1, 2011 “Join”.

              Still, I am convinced that Sarah at least likes Joyce and has her best interests partially in mind. She expresses a warning about the dangers of Billie’s lifestyle early on, and subsequently admiration of Joyce’s trusting nature (even if she does view it as naive). Similar warnings were given with regard to Joyce’s desire to date with Joe, and again admiration was expressed when Joyce rejected Joe of her own volition.

              See: Dec. 15, 2010 “Follow”; Dec. 22, 2010 “Twilight”; Feb. 16, 2011 “Impressed”; May 2, 2011 “Frathouse”; May 3, 2011 “Break”

              I am of course open to alternative interpretations.

  34. ALostProphet
    ALostProphet
    September 12, 2011 at 9:12 am | #

    EPIC SHRUGGING!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 12, 2011 at 5:52 pm | #

      “Ah well, whatcha gonna do?”

  35. aaron_bourque
    aaron_bourque
    September 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm | #

    Yay? A party? With Joyce? And Billie? And Roz? Nothing bad could happen, right?

    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

  36. Roborat
    Roborat
    September 12, 2011 at 3:28 pm | #

    You misunderstand Sal, when she says a case of beer, she doesn’t mean a dozen or a twofour, she means a pallet.

  37. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    September 12, 2011 at 4:25 pm | #

    I admit, I do prefer 4 people, a cooler of beer, and the sidewalk in front of my house.

    Yep.
    Yep.
    Yup.
    Uh-huh.

    See’mtheredangol’MikeJudgeI’mtalkingabout?

  38. Culwecth
    Culwecth
    September 12, 2011 at 8:08 pm | #

    Hey, better Walmart than S-Mart. I hear they had to close that chain down because of random zombie incursions, transplanar rifts, and elder god manifestations.

  39. Andy
    Andy
    September 12, 2011 at 9:21 pm | #

    So, I just had a thought about how this party thing could be a terrible idea. Joyce is going as backup, right? And Roz will be there, possibly hosting. And Joyce and Roz got along extremely poorly this morning. In my mind, it’s a toss-up whether Roz will let Joyce in to break her out of her shell, or refuse to let her in.

    And I’m sorry if anyone mentioned this already; it just came to me today.

  40. Aslee
    Aslee
    September 12, 2011 at 10:13 pm | #

    SAL.

    SAL HAS JUST DESCRIBED THE PERFECT SOUTHERN PARTY. Except around here we mostly use Piggly Wiggly because we’re kinda’ small and driving all the way to Wal-Mart’s just a bit too far.

    BUT STILL, SAL I LOVE YOUUUUU…

  41. Brady Kj
    Brady Kj
    September 12, 2011 at 10:27 pm | #

    You know, I’m guessing Roz’s party is just a Feminist Club meeting, and they’re completely misunderstanding it.

    • Asuka L.S.
      Asuka L.S.
      September 13, 2011 at 12:59 am | #

      You’re more optimistic than I am. Still, I think even a Feminist Club meeting would frazzle poor Joyce’s delicate circuits.

  42. scruffy
    scruffy
    June 19, 2012 at 11:13 pm | #

    is sal from holton, ks?

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