ETHAN IS GAY

Posted on April 21, 2011 by David M Willis

When he said he was gay last week, that might have been a clue!

This has been an unfortunately necessary public service announcement.  You may return to, undoubtedly, continuing to ask every day if Ethan is gay in this universe.

(He is.)

121 thoughts on “ETHAN IS GAY”

  1. Fissioninferno

    D: No wai!

    1. David

      That’s right, it’s even filed under NEWS!

      1. Loki

        This is the sort of hard-hitting, surprising plot twists that make me read this comic.

        1. David

          hahahahaha

  2. T Campbell

    But what if… DENIAL?

    Eh?

    EH?

    1. R

      So, after he admitted it, and his friends have accepted it, it’s possible he’s in denial of it?

      1. Joe

        In denial of his incredible straightness.
        Ethan is actually so powerfully straight that only a man can survive the full force of his love.

        …wait…

  3. Sorry, very obviously had to be done

    sooooo is he Gay or not?

    1. Loki

      It’s probably not appropriate for this comic, but I could easily see a Shortpacked where Ethan is kissing his boyfriend while a gaggle of schoolgirls seem confused as to whether he’s gay or not.

  4. Loki

    I think every time Ethan appears, there needs to be a caption that says: “This is Ethan and he is gay.”

    1. Scruffy

      Second

    2. Suzushiiro

      He should just tag any comic that has Ethan talking to or about a female tagged with “ethan is gay btw.”

      1. Suzushiiro

        And there’s totally an excess “tag” in there and I DON’T GIVE A FUCK

    3. Shift

      Or maybe he should just wear a T-Shirt that says “I love dicks”.

      1. Malph

        That may be a bit too subtle.

        He may need to float around wearing biker leather, a pink feather boa, and leaving a sparkling rainbow in his wake while talking with a lisp.

        1. Bekah

          While constantly singing “It’s raining men”.

        2. Sili

          Why? He’s gay, not a vampire.

        3. Pat

          But none of that actually has anything to do with being gay.

        4. vsophi

          Your comment is retroactively great with your Dina gravatar.

      2. Kamino Neko

        Neh…people would just assume that explained how he was able to tolerate Mike.

      3. Rowen Morland

        Maybe Willis could sell this T-shirt?

    4. Jackson

      I am reminded of a Dave Barry column which provided “Closed Captioning for the Humor Impaired,” explaining each joke to the reader in big capital letters.

      As basic reading comprehension appears to elude so many of us, perhaps there should be a special edition of DoA with “Closed Captioning for the Just Plain Stupid.”

    5. Wackd

      ETHAN SEIGAL
      Homosexual
      Age: 18
      Rating: 8/10

  5. Outrider

    “You may return to, undoubtedly, continuing to ask every day if Ethan is gay in this universe.

    (He is.)”

    So what’s you’re saying is that Ethan is gay in this universe, but in the comic he’s straight, right?

    1. Outrider

      Ha ha ha, oh man, sometimes I love the random avatar assignment.

  6. TPRJones

    I think it is safe to say that in every possible Walky-verse there are two ultimate truths that will always be true:

    1) Ethan is gay.

    2) Mike + Your Mom = Bow-chicka-bow-wow!

    1. Freemage

      No, no–that second formula is:

      Mike + Your Mom + A Quarter = Bow-chicka-bow-wow!

      1. The E-man

        No, no-A quarter’s too expensive:

        Mike + Your Mom + A Nickel = Bow-chicka-bow-wow!

        1. Pagannerd

          Mike + Your Mom + A Nickel = Bow-chicka-bow-wow! + Change.

          Because he overpaid. Because Your Mom wasn’t worth the nickel.

          … I think I’ve hit all the bases there.

        2. agentksilver

          faaaaace?

        3. Trae Dorn

          Femurs.

        4. Joebo

          with his penis.

        5. Cha

          I think I understand the meaning of life now.

        6. Thomas

          … you mean 42?

        7. Izzy

          No, Chicken nuggets. 50 of them.

        8. gaspacho

          And Roz didn’t have Joe’s permission to film.

          Also, The Cheese.

  7. Zaratustra

    Ethan is gay. Ethan is gay. What is Ethan? Gay.

  8. Animal

    Are you trying to say Ethan is gay?

  9. Jabberwocky

    So, what you’re saying is, Ethan is metro in this ‘verse?

  10. Afgncaap5

    So you’re saying he’s just, like, happy? This is one of those times where the word means ‘happy’, yes? Otherwise I don’t understand what you’re saying.

    1. Angel

      Yes, please explain this in terms Galasso can understand…

      1. SUGauthor

        Ethan is only attracted to someone that has a stick dangling between his legs

  11. Shift

    Honestly, reading the comment section for the comics involving Ethan is like talking to a couple W.A.S.P parents about their gay son: They’re either completely oblivious/stupid, going for straight up denial, or are trying to cause some sort of backhanded provocation.

    1. Pagannerd

      Eh, families can be arsey like that.

      Role call! Can I get a head count of DoA readers whose relatives insist on refering to your same-sex significant other as your “friend”?

      1. Shift

        My Ex boyfriend used to call me that. But they called me his “special friend”.

        1. lost_limey

          Mine called me his portable dick. Glad that one ended :-p

        2. lost_limey

          Nice. Love the random avatar wheel came up Ethan. (Who may or may not be gay)

      2. R

        My parents call my wife my “roommate” but everyone but my very young cousins know, so it just makes them look stupid/mean.

      3. Sri

        Actually my family does that for all significant others if you aren’t married. My great-uncle has been dating the same woman for 15 years and, at family reunions, she is introduced as his ‘friend’.

  12. Lone Wolf

    So why exactly is Ethan happy?

    1. Chrisby

      Because the ladies love him of course!

      Which is good for him because he is straight you see.

      1. Janette

        +1

    2. Trae Dorn

      Because he’s discovered how much he likes banging dudes!

      1. sarahlost36

        because dudes are girls in this universe… so confused…

  13. begbert2

    Actually last week Ethan said he was Gay during prom. You know, all the way back then, in the past. He’s clearly straight now.

  14. Lokitsu

    Willis, if you’re going to keep changing the characters at random like this then I’m just going to stop reading. Crap, next you’ll turn Mike into an asshole.

  15. Dedlok

    Wait wait wait….

    I didn’t quite catch that….

    Is Ethan gay or straight in this comic?

  16. captainswift

    Frankly, I won’t believe it until he says it in the strip with conviction!

    1. Joebo

      Since Joyce is about to start coming on rather strong to him, that shouldn’t take too long. That is of course if Ethan realizes that she’s trying to make him her husband.

      So wait, Ethan is gay right?

  17. Darth Cariss

    I always thought it fit Ethan more to be straight, so I liked him better because of it. Maybe that largely has to do with the change in direction for his character in general in SP! though, obviously we haven’t gotten much chance to know him in this, assuming he is different (does not seem to be the case, but then again we haven’t heard about any toy obsession yet).

    Anyway, it’s funny here because he actually seems like the kind of guy Joyce would go for. Well, y’know, I mean long term, since she goes for anyone who looks at her now, and if you don’t count the gay thing… Yeah, nevermind.

    1. vsophi

      ‘k ik this is an old comment, but wthomophobia

  18. Ridureyu

    Is Leslie gay?

    1. Ian

      I’m not sure if you are allowed to ask that here. You do have permission to ask about Ethan.

    2. David

      Nobody’s sexual orientations are altered.

      1. Ridureyu

        Is Ninja Rick still…whatever he is?

        1. Rognik

          No. He has been morphed into a red panda.

      2. voodoo_curse

        Does this mean that mike will still sleep with anyone for the sole purpose of messing with their heads?

        1. Ragnal

          Well he IS whatever you don’t want him to be.

  19. Janette

    JoycexEthan is obviously the OTP.

    So Ethan must be straight.

  20. Kater

    I just operate under the assumption that everyone is gay. it may not be true but it’s more interesting.

  21. Zap

    Didn’t Willis state at some point that each strip was its own individual canon? Under that logic, Ethan could be gay one strip, straight the next strip, bi the next strip, a schoolgirl-molesting tentacle monster the next strip, and so on.

    Under this logic, we can never assume whether or not Ethan is gay unless we actually ask.

    1. Joebo

      I think by “strip” he does not mean individual section of panels that goes up on midnights of weekdays but of the entire series of these section of panels. such as “Dumbing of Age” and “Shortpacked!”

      Of course he could also mean “every time they take all of their clothes off.”

  22. Aydr

    I won’t believe it until Amber walks in on him making out with Mike.

    you know what to do willis

    you know what to do.

    1. Aydr

      hm. Looks like my plans as the head alien are getting pretty weird.

      Guess I really was just there for the drama tag.

    2. creativerealms

      Eventually we may have a flashback to the prom incident where that might have actually happened.

      1. Aydr

        MAKE IT HAPPEN.

  23. Syd

    Yes, but does Ethan know he’s gay, or does he need Robin to reveal it to him?

  24. Kumata

    GIVE US PROOF THAT HE’S GAY WILLIS

    HOT MANBANGING PROOF I SAY

  25. PrudeFrock

    I’m confused. The strip says his last name is “Siegal,” but you’re saying that’s he’s actually “Gay”? “Ethan Gay” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well…

    Nice character though; you know he’s going to hook up with all the women in the strip.

    1. Rognik

      See, his full name is Gay Ethan Siegal. He goes by his middle name.

      1. Kernanator

        No no no no, his name is Ethan Gaylord Siegal. Because Gaylord is an actual name.

  26. gangler

    So, a question occurs to me. Dave said in on twitter that no one’s sexuality has been changed in from the main universe in DoA.

    So… what does that mean for Mike? He’s only been shown in relationships with women in the main universe, but he’s also been shown to have sex with men, albeit for purely spiteful reasons.

    It’s relevant for the Ethan x Mike speculation right now.

    1. Jackson

      Mike’s sexual orientation is sadism?

      1. voodoo_curse

        Mike’s sexual orientation is your mom

        1. Steve

          And your dad.

          If he can.

      2. gangler

        This actually clears everything up quite nicely. I feel like I can assume this to be the case in this universe without negative repercussion.

  27. Acher4

    Wait a minute….
    Ethan is gay?

  28. Locke

    So, okay, he’s happy, I get that. But is Ethan a homosexual? I’ve always had suspicions…

    1. shoeboxjeddy

      Damn it you stole my awful joke. Darn you to heck I say.

  29. Mahare

    Szark Sturtz is gay? Whoops, wrong comic…

  30. Atcote

    He’s so gay, he’s very, very straight. So straight, indeed, he sleeps exclusively with men.

  31. Daveslash

    By gay I’m assuming you mean carefree and happy? How can he be so happy when he doesn’t have a girlfriend?

  32. phildog

    Yes, but what kind of gay is he? Is he “gay when it’s convince for the script” like Stewie Griffin from Family Guy or Raj from The Big Bang Theory? Or is he a legitimate gay character like Kurt from Glee?

    1. Wackd

      See, here’s the thing–all characters are gay because it’s convenient for the script. I can guarantee you, one-hundred percent, the only reason any character in any work of fiction is gay is to create drama, be it inner conflict or conflict with those intolerant of them. For no character is homosexuality just something they are. It’s always a source of angst, and it’s always because the author thinks that angst is interesting for other people to experience from afar.

      Of course, there are characters that are only occasionally gay for the sake of a joke, which is what I think you meant by “convenient for the script”.

      1. Swissaboo

        Au contraire!
        Dumbledore!

        1. gangler

          Except that it was never mentioned in the books and Rowlings pretty much just announced it ages after the sensation was over in a vain attempt to maintain her relevance.

          Sure, it’s canon, but not in any meaningful way. If you want it in there, put it in the book.

          Willis could do that too. Just end the comic. Wait five years for most people to stop watching him, then suddenly post on his blog that eveyone in the walkyverse had been secretly gay long after any of it had been consequential.

          Course Ethan would still have to be straight. You can’t bang a chick as hot as drew and not be straight.

        2. Widdy

          OT: It wasn’t “a vain attempt to maintain her relevance”. It was an answer to a question from a fan in a Q&A session. And Dumbledore isn’t unique; just about every character has a lot of background story that never made it into the books because it wasn’t relevant to the plot. Some of it has been told to the hardcore fans – the ones who are interested in stuff like that. But the media being what it is, they ignored all of that other stuff and ran with the headline “DUMBELDORE IS TEH GAY OMG!!!!11”.

          The recurring opinion that “if she wanted Dumbledore to be gay, she should’ve said so in the books” is so ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. I never see any demands that she should’ve put any other unused background information in the books. I guess a character’s sexual orientation must be extremely important, even when it’s not.

        3. gangler

          Um… so I take it none of the humor in the post come across. The ignorance of the events surrounding the reveal (Rowlings is still relevant even now. We have the movies. not to mention how out of character such an attempt would be), and ignorance regarding the workings of fiction in general segueing into ignorance about the walkyverse (it’s an ongoing joke that anyone can be assumed to be gay until proven otherwise) and finally working their way back to the Ethan issue in a manner that implies a state of intense denial, likely being the root of my inability to see what’s right before my eyes.

          None of this came across. Damn. I’m gonna have to work on that. It’s always hard to pull off that kind of joke, since people are willing to believe immense amounts of stupidity of strangers on the internet, but if you lay it on too thick it’s just obnoxious and not funny at all.

          Anyway, sorry about all this. Sounds like I was just offensive, which wasn’t really my intent.

          I would point out that I’m generally of the opinion that unused background information should really be treated more as trivia for the die hard fans than anything a casual reader should be expected to care about. At the end of the day, what’s more important than the world in the author’s mind is the world she creates in the reader’s mind. If it wasn’t important enough to make it into the book, even as subtext or something you could figure out if you were paying attention, then it’s not really a terribly significant part of the universe.

          So basically my stance would be that Dumbledore may be gay, but we really shouldn’t dwell on it overly long. It was never the most significant part of his character, and doesn’t really effect anything outside of the fandom, which probably didn’t need any encouragement there anyway. To make imbue it with more significance than it warrants is disrespectful to the character, the book, the author, and quite likely has negative implications on the gay rights movement. The media made an ass out of themselves with this (they often do), many people made asses of themselves with it, and it sounds like today I may have made an ass of myself as well. Oops.

        4. Widdy

          Oops. I apologize too. Went right over my head.

          Thing is, Harry Potter has attracted some of the most insane minds this planet has to offer (some as fans, some as haters). It’s hard to top that ironically.

        5. Shift

          It probably would have helped to add a “LOL” at the end.

      2. Anonyamos

        Read Scott Pilgrim. And no, I’m not talking about Wallace Wills, Captain Rainbowflag the Man-Bedder himself, either, although he’s not ‘gay because it’s convenient’ either.

        As far as I can tell the extent of -his- angst is dealing with finding ways to get Scott out of the apartment for a night so he has the bed all to himself (and whoever his latest fling is) and/or guiding his manchild flatmate on the path to not-so-manchild-ish-ness.

        Telling who it is (the not-plot-contrived-homosexual) would be a spoiler, mostly because it doesn’t come up (but gets hinted at vaguely) until the end of the series, and it too isn’t an angst point. Just a ‘What, you didn’t notice? Well, whatever, let’s go get pizza’ moment.

        1. Wackd

          Shot in the dark: He’s named after a famous guitarist.

          Yeah. Big Scott Pilgrim fan. Reread the last book about ten times because I didn’t quite get what Gideon’s plan was. Was shocked at the reveal, but it made sense the more I thought about it. I’m glad they played it that way.

          My remark above was intended at sarcasm and the way things seem these days. I’m well aware that yes, being gay can just be a fact of life for a fictional character. Hell, our friend Ethan here is living proof.

        2. Wackd

          Incidentally: I am referring to you-know-who being gay when I talk about the reveal. Gideon’s whole scheme came totally out of left field from my perspective and in all honesty I’m still not sure what the hell happened. I only stopped rereading it because I was accumulating library fines.

      3. phildog

        Okay, first of all, that’s like saying the only reason a writer would add a Black or Asian character is to cause conflict between the white characters. Both absurd and offensive, yet still true in a few circumstances. A character being of ethnic origin other then “white” isn’t in some way a creating drama in that it they differ from the white norm and conflict arises out of that. Likewise, a character being of a sexual orientation other then straight isn’t always an attempt to create drama because they differ from the heterosexual norm. No, they’re just gay, and while there is a reason, that reason is progressively more to reflect the fact that gay people exist in the real world and there is no reason to keep them out of fiction. Especially when you have an extremely large cast like this comic.

        Now, that said, you’re absolutely wrong about homosexuality always being a source of conflict. Perfect example: In Under the Tusken Son, the main character’s sister is a lesbian trying to have a child with her partner who later leaves her when she realizes she doesn’t want to be a parent. She’s not having internal conflict about who she is. She isn’t being mistreated by anyone. Nothing happens to her that couldn’t happen to a heterosexual character.

        1. Wackd

          See above. I know the fact isn’t all-encompassing yet, but it does appear to be that way in more works than it should.

          Just added Under the Tusken Son to my Netflix queue. Sounds interesting.

      4. ThisGuy~~

        Convenient for to strip! (your mom.)

  33. voodoo_curse

    Which one is Ethan again? He’s the straight one, right?

  34. NF

    Willis, you are still ignoring the most important question about Ethan, the one thousands of devoted fans are waiting with bated breath for the answer to: Does Ethan still have one of the largest Transformers collection in the state in DoA?

    1. David

      Definitely not. A kid his age doesn’t have that kind of disposable income.

      1. sarahlost36

        its really fun to infer your other universe from the amazingly prolific comments… just when i think maybe i should go read the others, yummy tidbits like this convince me all shall be revealed in time…

  35. Eric Burns-White

    So, Ethan is gay. He was gay in high school. He will be gay after he leaves college. He will grow old gay. He will eventually die and be buried, having been gay. Got it.

    That said, this is college. So when is he going to start experimenting with girls? Everyone experiments with girls in college! Even girls! I have been taught this by decades of pop culture!

    (My wife is going to Look at me when I get home from work.)

  36. Jazzy the Man

    Wait wait wait wait wait…..

    The gay guy’s name is Ethan? I thought Ethan was the straight one. D= The whole Walkyverse is a lie!

  37. nothri

    I can’t say you looks particularly gay in the comic from last week. In fact, he looks quite the opposite. That’s to be expected, given the subject matter. I could buy that he’s depressed or upset or even melancoly, but definitely not gay. At least not in that comic.

    Although it is pretty clear he likes sleeping with other men.

  38. Rachel

    If energy could be harnessed from the sarcasm in these comments, the world would no longer have an oil dependency.

  39. Pingback: Dumbing of Age - Joe was asked permission

  40. averystrangeplace

    What? Ethan is gay? I thought he was Amazi-Girl!

    1. Josh

      And Amazi-Girl crushes on Danny.
      Ethan x Danny OTP.

  41. Bartholomew Klick

    So, the Ethan of Shortpacked is a different Ethan? And the Ethan here is in college?

    So essentially, it’s happily ever after for the character from Shortpacked and this is a new trip.

    Cool.

  42. AgentKeen

    Well, just saw an ad for gay dating sites on this page, so I guess the internet realizes Ethan is gay now.

  43. Scott

    Alright Willis, but the real question remains unanswered: Is Ethan gay?

  44. Bellthegaomon

    Why care about sexuality? Its how good of a person people are is what you should care about.

Comments are closed.