Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 5, 2026

Pepsi

by David M Willis on March 4, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Guess Who's Coming to Galasso's
└ Tags: dina, dorothy, ethan, joyce, pamela, walky

Discussion (308) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Skull025
    Skull025
    March 4, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    God damn it PEPSI IS NEVER AN ALTERNATIVE.

    • derick
      derick
      March 4, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      thank you

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      March 4, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      True. Coke is the alternative. Pepsi is the first pick.

      (RC is the kid at gym class listening to even Water and Bud Light get picked before him).

      • Skull025
        Skull025
        March 4, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        This is why we can’t have nice things.

      • Joe H
        Joe H
        March 4, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        I pity anyone picking either Coke OR Pepsi. You know why that junk is served cold? Because cold numbs the taste buds to and it tricks you into thinking that what you’re drinking isn’t crap. It’s also why piss-water beer bottles and cans or whatever have those labels that tell you when it’s “good” to drink them.

        • Skull025
          Skull025
          March 4, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          I LIKE MY BURNING SENSATION. FROM A NICE, HOT, GLORIOUS CUP OF COCA-****ING-COLA. THAT’S RIGHT, I DRINK THE **** JUICE OF THE COKE FACTORY! AND IT IS DELICIOUS.

          • Dibullba
            Dibullba
            March 4, 2013 at 7:46 am | #

            Almost makes me think of Julian Smith. He has some hot koolaid >.>…… I MADE THIS FOR YOU!!!!

          • Frostbite
            Frostbite
            March 4, 2013 at 8:33 am | #

            I would follow you into battle Skull

            • Robert
              Robert
              March 4, 2013 at 3:48 pm | #

              Frostbite, I’m pretty sure skull has herpes.

        • Baroncognito
          Baroncognito
          March 4, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

          I’m sorry, but being served cold isn’t a sign of bad quality. Ice cream is served cold, but that’s not to hide bad flavours.

          The simple fact of the matter is that every item has an ideal service temperature. It comes down to texture and mouth feel in a lot of situations, but anyone who prepares something for consumption knows that it will taste best a certain way.

          • tha mojster
            tha mojster
            March 4, 2013 at 6:14 pm | #

            Preference also has something to do with how its served, I drink the shit out of coke or pepsi depending on mood and i prefer it at room temp, though nothing beats mountain dew in flavor, just too bad it gives me chest pains these days.

        • Baroncognito
          Baroncognito
          March 4, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

          Iced Tea, for example, is served cold not to hide flavour but because cold drinks are more refreshing, especially on hot days.

          In short, Joe H, you’re being stupid.

          • Joe H
            Joe H
            March 4, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

            If you think that colder temp foods don’t numb the palette, then you’re the one being dumb.
            http://www.wikihow.com/Dull-Your-Taste-Buds
            Ice cream is served cold because of function, not taste. The contents of a banana split would fall to the bottom of a thick sweet milk drink if you put it in while warm. Or whatever condiments you put on it.
            Any beer worth drinking is worth drinking warm. Same for soda. Same for tea. Sorry if you’re drinking and eating stuff that needs to be chilled to mask the flavor.

            • Solegitrr
              Solegitrr
              March 4, 2013 at 2:21 am | #

              Wow. Just… wow. I’ve seen people fight a lot of really stupid battles
              on the internet, but never before have I seen someone claim that ALL
              cold beverages are only cold to mask their shitty flavor. You, sir, win the
              coveted Tinfoil Tiara for the day.

              • Joe H
                Joe H
                March 4, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

                Tinfoil tiara? You insult me ma’am. There’s no way a tiara of any sort could stop the gub’ment mind control rays; doesn’t there’s a big hole on the top of it. Uh doi!

                • Joe H
                  Joe H
                  March 4, 2013 at 2:38 am | #

                  Damnit. Didn’t click stop in time when I noticed the extra word in there. Oh well.

              • Joe H
                Joe H
                March 4, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

                Tinfoil tiara? You insult me ma’am. There’s no way a tiara of any sort could stop the gub’ment mind control rays; there’s a big hole on the top of it. Uh doi!

                • JustDucky
                  JustDucky
                  March 4, 2013 at 2:34 pm | #

                  But… wine is best served chilled regardless of quality. In fact, a good wine must be chilled in order to deliver all of its aromas.

                  White wine is, ideally, served at “cellar” temperature or a little below 50º F though some people recommend a temperature a bit closer to 60º F.

                  Red wine should be -very- slightly chilled as well, depending on the temperature at which it is stored. A complex red should be served at around 65º F.

                  Beers, similarly, should be served chilled. In fact, they should be served cooler than wines. For example, a pilsner should be served a bit above 40º F while IPAs and Stouts should be around 55º F.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              March 4, 2013 at 5:37 am | #

              This is why I drink water icy cold, to mask the taste.

              • Anickel4u
                Anickel4u
                March 4, 2013 at 9:18 pm | #

                M’am you are quite something……

            • Baroncognito
              Baroncognito
              March 4, 2013 at 5:54 am | #

              Well, firstly, the link you provide to prove that “cold temperatures dull flavours” is a wiki page and the link it provides to say that cold temperatures is an article about how colder temptures and water enhance the flavour of whiskey. It seems a pointless link to provide and doesn’t help your argument whatsoever.

              Secondly, your argument would also imply that milkshakes are cold just to dull your taste buds. Functionally, it’s not much different than drinking melted ice cream. I’ve also never met anyone who drank milkshakes to cool down.

              So, in short, you’re being deliberately obtuse. Your argument is fruitless. There are a multitude of reasons to have cold drinks, and you cannot state that a drink doesn’t taste good if it’s intended to be served cold.

            • phlebas
              phlebas
              March 4, 2013 at 6:17 am | #

              I hear some philistines even drink vintage champagne chilled. That stuff must be rank, eh?

            • Chris K
              Chris K
              March 4, 2013 at 10:56 am | #

              Dear God. The pseudoscience here offends me at every possible level.

              Yes, tastes are dulled at colder temperatures. This is true. However, beer and soda have something else in common: They have carbon dioxide dissolved into them. (Sometimes nitrogen in certain beers, but that’s only marginally relevant to the point here.)

              Look at the solubility curve of CO2 in water. LOOK AT IT. More cold = more bubbles. More bubbles = more effervescence. This is actually a key textural component to sodas and beers, as the flavor profile DOES change as the drink goes flat.

              This meesage brought to you by Science: Breaking Tinfoil Hats Via The Application Of Facts Since The Dawn Of Tinfoil Hats.

            • Reepicheep-chan
              Reepicheep-chan
              March 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm | #

              Well, also if the nature of the thing is to have more flavor than ideal you would serve it cold. Warm ice-cream is too sweet for most people to enjoy, serving it cold makes it feel less sweet. Alternatively: ice cream is as sweet as it is so it still tastes sweet even when cold. One of those things >.<

            • Jenny Creed
              Jenny Creed
              June 4, 2013 at 3:53 pm | #

              I can’t comment on beer, but I’ve drank a lot of tea and a whole lot of soda, and I’ve never found any that tastes better warm than cold and I doubt you could name one that I would agree with. In fact I want all my drinks ice cold. Milk and water and juice and slushies and cough medicine and crushed ants and human blood (long story) and liquefied salad (longer, grosser story) and everything else. I don’t know how you would measure, let’s say, pepsi as “not worth drinking” if you do in fact enjoy drinking it when it’s cold, and enjoy it a great deal more than a number of other cold beverages.

              Also a funny thing, I’ll take pepsi over coke any day, but I find coke tastes marginally tolerable at room temperature and pepsi doesn’t.

          • Joe H
            Joe H
            March 4, 2013 at 2:13 am | #

            And when I say “warm beer I mean between 45 and 55 degrees. The content make up of some beers become unstable and separate if they get any warmer.

            • KishinD
              KishinD
              March 4, 2013 at 6:24 am | #

              Centigrade, of course.

              • Baroncognito
                Baroncognito
                March 4, 2013 at 7:12 am | #

                Unless specified, all temperatures are assumed to be kelvin.

                • mrelegos
                  mrelegos
                  March 4, 2013 at 7:38 pm | #

                  Heh, 45 Kelvin beer…

            • slicedtoad
              slicedtoad
              March 4, 2013 at 7:42 am | #

              I sorta agreed with you on some of what you said until you mentioned the beer being warm thing.
              Thank you for specifying a temperature, since 45-55 is not ‘warm’. I’ve been trying to imagine a room temperature Guinness and it’s left me sad.

              As to the other things, cold is sometimes used to mask flavors, sometimes it’s part of the drink. I agree that coke is a pretty low quality drink (still better than pepsi) but really we only drink it for the sugar/caffeine buzz and the wonderfully acidic burn it leaves in your stomach.

              • LaurelRaven
                LaurelRaven
                March 4, 2013 at 10:36 am | #

                Real Coke is actually a pretty damned good drink. I’m referring, of course, to the Coke made with real sugar (here, we refer to that as “Mexicoke”) rather than High Fructose Corn Syrup. The stuff we serve in the US is actually pretty terrible, when you think of it…though, I’m still a fan of Coke over Poopsy.

                • Reepicheep-chan
                  Reepicheep-chan
                  March 4, 2013 at 12:52 pm | #

                  Oh yes. Pepsi or Coke, it matters little compaired to whether of not it is made with real sugar. Mexicoke is easier for me to get my hands on, so mexicoke it is.

                • tha mojster
                  tha mojster
                  March 4, 2013 at 6:21 pm | #

                  I love mexicoke, theres a beer store near me that sells the pint glass bottles, and to be honest most information ive found is that the containment unit used to store any liquid beverage affects taste, like beer from a bottle is better than from a can, so is soda, better from a glass bottle than from any other container.

            • tahrey
              tahrey
              March 5, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

              If I presume Farenheit, then your definition of “warm” beer is… 7 to 12 celcius.

              Really? You must be quite the fan of Coors Lite and all that kind of cack. Y’know… beer that actually needs to advertise in order to get sales.

              The recommended temperature of a fridge is 4 to 8’C (39.2 to 46.4’F), so by that scale if your fridge was running at the upper range of that, or if it was around the middle of the range and you let the beer sit for more than a few seconds (or, horrors, poured it out into a glass that was not itself refrigerated), you’d end up drinking it warm.

              Tap water, when allowed to run for a while and so be at least cool if not “cold”, is generally taken (by industry standards) to be 15’C, or 59’F. Now, that may not be ideal serving temperature for beer, but it would still be reasonably palatable (especially if an ale or bitter rather than a lager), and if we dropped it, say, 5’C further to 10’C (about the temperature of tapwater coming from an underground feedpipe in winter, enough to make your bones ache a bit if you hold your hand under it for more than a few seconds), it’d be just fine. The typical “super chill” beer that have their own special gimmicky pumps at the bar themselves tend to “only” go down to about 4-5’C…

              tl;dr version – if you can’t gulp your last half-pint in a hurry without getting brainfreeze as your buddies head for the door having spotted the last bus coming up the road a few minutes early, then it’s too cold.

        • Kat
          Kat
          March 4, 2013 at 4:10 am | #

          I drink both of them warm. Also Dr. Pepper and rootbeer.

          • Buckybone
            Buckybone
            March 4, 2013 at 2:22 pm | #

            Damned agnostics…

            • DarkVeghetta
              DarkVeghetta
              June 18, 2015 at 11:59 am | #

              xD Alright, that was pretty funny/insightful.

        • Hoop
          Hoop
          March 4, 2013 at 7:39 am | #

          careful toughguy. don’t cut yourself on that edge

        • Bunk
          Bunk
          March 4, 2013 at 9:02 am | #

          I prefer 99% of soda to be at room temperature.

        • Whittier
          Whittier
          March 4, 2013 at 9:40 am | #

          Whilst cold does have a numbing effect on the taste buds (which is why, for example, most ice cream recipes call for a lot of sugar to compensate for the effect,) what is drunk hot or cold is more a function of culture than anything. The idea of putting ice in drinks is mostly an American thing. In many parts of the world, all sodas are drunk at room temperature, and some cultures think that hot drinks, not cold, cool you down in warm weather.

        • TheLurkerAbove
          TheLurkerAbove
          March 4, 2013 at 10:26 am | #

          Please explain the popularity of HOT Coca-cola with lemon or ginger in Asia then.

          • Valdrax
            Valdrax
            March 4, 2013 at 5:47 pm | #

            Explain the fascination with bittermelon, jackfruit, and durian over there first, and I’ll accept that “Asia” is always a reliable authority on good taste.

            (Also, isn’t that more of a cold remedy than a common drink?)

        • ajm5007
          ajm5007
          March 4, 2013 at 11:04 pm | #

          I ask for my Pepsi without ice, and Coke is not an acceptable substitute.

        • fatemaster1
          fatemaster1
          June 23, 2014 at 7:28 pm | #

          I would also like to add that people picking Coke or Pepsi are clearly brain washed, just because they are made by two different companies doesn’t mean they are different products! They are exactly the same people! Just as there is no difference between 7-up and Sprite!

      • onfurtherreview
        onfurtherreview
        March 4, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

        Wait, you mean water and Bud Light are different substances?

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          March 4, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

          Water is much less likely to give you the shits.

          • Eposi
            Eposi
            March 4, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

            Depends on your local

        • Wizard
          Wizard
          March 4, 2013 at 11:49 am | #

          Dude. If your water tastes like Bud Light, you should probably get some sort of filter. That can’t be good for you.

          • JustDucky
            JustDucky
            March 4, 2013 at 2:36 pm | #

            That made me smile. Thank you. =D

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            March 4, 2013 at 11:04 pm | #

            I salute you.

      • KishinD
        KishinD
        March 4, 2013 at 6:21 am | #

        RC is still my favorite cola, by a wide margin.

        Meh. I’d rather have coffee.

      • Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
        Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
        March 12, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

        AACK! I cringe everytime there’s Pepsi. I always gravitate to Coke or Dr. Pepper

    • Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho
      Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho
      March 4, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      THIS.

    • LS
      LS
      March 4, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      Dr. Pepper is the only acceptable soda.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        March 4, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

        ^

        • Tylertlat
          Tylertlat
          March 4, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

          I would posit that Dr. Pepper OR Mr. Pibb are acceptable sodas.

          • Darchias
            Darchias
            March 4, 2013 at 9:23 am | #

            I posit that Mr. Pibb is the Mike of sodas.

            • Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
              Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
              March 12, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

              I have to agree there, and then there’s Pibb XTRA!

      • Drunken Nordmann
        Drunken Nordmann
        March 4, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

        I’m just drinking random cola from – is more cost-efficient.

        • Drunken Nordmann
          Drunken Nordmann
          March 4, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

          Whoops, there’s a word missing.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            March 4, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

            Drat, and I was just about to google prices on – Cola.

      • fatemaster1
        fatemaster1
        June 23, 2014 at 7:30 pm | #

        Ding, ding ,ding …. we have a winner!

    • Mo
      Mo
      March 4, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

      Well, is Monopoly money OK? Because no, Pepsi sucks.

    • Nk
      Nk
      March 4, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

      Pepsi is NEVER an Alternative! Truer words ha’ ne’er been said!

      • HiEv
        HiEv
        March 4, 2013 at 11:38 am | #

        Absolutely, but at least she asked.

        The worst is when you order a Coke, you’re waiting for your meal, and you take a sip of your drink expecting it to be Coke an suddenly it’s, “Bleagh! Pepsi, my old enemy!” Then you have to flag down the server and get it replaced with a Mountain Dew or something. It’s a quadruple annoyance, since you drank something you don’t like, you have to flag someone down to replace your drink, you have nothing good to drink until it’s replaced, and you’ve got that awful taste in your mouth until then.

        It just makes me want to shake the person and say, “Coke is a brand name! It’s not a generic name for ‘dark-colored soft drink’!”

        • Wizard
          Wizard
          March 4, 2013 at 11:51 am | #

          They’re in Indiana, where “Coke” is actually a generic term for and all soft drinks. We Hoosiers don’t talk English real good.

          • Whittier
            Whittier
            March 4, 2013 at 3:17 pm | #

            This. I grew up in Indiana. “Seven-Up” is a legitimate answer to, “What kind of coke do you want?”.

            • Valdrax
              Valdrax
              March 4, 2013 at 5:51 pm | #

              I grew up in Georgia, home of Coca-Cola, and I’ve always been mystified by the assertion that Southerners will use “Coke” to mean any soft drink. It’s not a Southern thing — it’s your thing. It’s all your faults! ALL YOUR FAULTS! AAAAAH!!! /jumps through plate glass, screaming

              • DarkVeghetta
                DarkVeghetta
                June 18, 2015 at 12:21 pm | #

                In Romania, once the Iron Curtain fell, Coca Cola was quick to be widely available in the newly-established private stores, but Pepsi was largely absent for yet a few years (1-3-ish). Coca Cola was so popular that every pop/soda drink was being referred to as ‘a cola’, eventually ‘Pepsi cola’ became a thing. It’s been quite a few years now and it’s far less common for people to call Pepsi ‘Pepsi cola’, but it’s still an acceptable turn of phrase.
                Just goes to show how important it is to be the first on the scene in a new market. Incidentally, same applies to people and relationships – your first will likely mark you and your preferences for life.

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            March 4, 2013 at 11:06 pm | #

            Must be a southern, or at least rural Indiana thing. Don’t really hear it spoken that way around Indianapolis.

    • DEG1377
      DEG1377
      March 4, 2013 at 1:40 am | #

      I have never understood the fight between Coke and Pepsi. They are both pop. *shrug*

      • John
        John
        March 4, 2013 at 1:52 am | #

        [i][b]SODA[/b][/i].

        The Dr. Pepper family is clearly superior, anyway, because, AFAICT, Sunkist is the only caffeinated orange soda.

        • DEG1377
          DEG1377
          March 4, 2013 at 2:03 am | #

          Now THIS argument I will have…

          POP.

          • Icalasari
            Icalasari
            March 4, 2013 at 3:15 am | #

            It’s like Billy got pre drunk and started arguing with herself…

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            March 4, 2013 at 5:38 am | #

            SOFT DRINK!

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              March 4, 2013 at 10:42 am | #

              SUGAR SLUDGE SWILL!

              Waiters in restaurants tend to not like that term, though. Not specific enough.

          • HiEv
            HiEv
            March 4, 2013 at 11:46 am | #

            Heh… As someone who grew up in a “pop” area and now lives in a “soda” area, I can tell you it’s not so simple.

            Anyways, to see the name distribution in the US see this site:
            The Pop vs. Soda Page

            All I have to say to the south is, Coke is a brand name, dammit!

    • Eposi
      Eposi
      March 4, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

      Faygo all the way WOOO

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        March 4, 2013 at 5:55 pm | #

        Who brags about drinking Faygo? That’s like standing up proud for grocery store brand soda.

        “Aw yeah, Sam’s Choice all the way! It’s not a terrible compromise brought about by extreme poverty — it’s a lifestyle brand!”

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          March 4, 2013 at 11:11 pm | #

          On the other hand, if you live in an area with a Meijer, they have two store-brand colas. One is a Coke clone and the other is a Pepsi clone. Both are actually close enough that the only reason to not buy them (for half the price) is name-brand snobbery.

        • Mo
          Mo
          March 5, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

          Juggalos?

    • Zoey
      Zoey
      March 4, 2013 at 1:55 am | #

      its for those who think young.

    • Baroncognito
      Baroncognito
      March 4, 2013 at 7:26 am | #

      It’s not, but at least she asked. I really hate expecting a Coke and getting a Pepsi.

    • Neospector
      Neospector
      March 4, 2013 at 9:48 am | #

      Sorry, but I’ll take (real, not diet) Coke over an incredibly sweet substance which you can hear and feel dissolving your teeth and which leaves an aftertaste in your mouth for the next hour like Pepsi any day.

      • peachkid4
        peachkid4
        March 4, 2013 at 10:48 am | #

        I like how this whole long argument was started by a quick exchange taking place in the background….

      • ajm5007
        ajm5007
        March 4, 2013 at 11:06 pm | #

        Pepsi is no worse for your teeth than Coke is. You’re lying to yourself.

    • SHAZAM
      SHAZAM
      March 4, 2013 at 6:06 pm | #

      They taste exactly the same…
      Or at least to me they do, I’ve never noticed any difference.

      • Toad
        Toad
        March 5, 2013 at 1:44 am | #

        Nope. Pepsi’s sweeter, and Coke has a more pronounced vanilla flavor. Interestingly, in double-blind taste tests where subjects are asked to take one sip of each, Pepsi tends to do better, but when they’re asked to drink a whole can/bottle, Coke wins.

        The sweetness wins out in the short term, but quickly becomes cloying.

    • JA
      JA
      March 4, 2013 at 9:46 pm | #

      Wrong. Pepsi is for hipsters. Coke is the true man’s drink.

    • tahrey
      tahrey
      March 5, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

      True. It’s not the alternative, it’s the only true choice.

    • tahrey
      tahrey
      March 5, 2013 at 8:34 am | #

      Holy crap, this discussion has ended up being mentioned on the twitter…

      REVENGE!

    • ServantofCygnus
      ServantofCygnus
      August 6, 2013 at 9:15 pm | #

      PEPSI IS NO DAMNED ALTERNATIVE IT IS THE MAIN SHIT HEAR ME

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    March 4, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Is this a kissing web comic?

    • Skull025
      Skull025
      March 4, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      I prefer “glorious illustration of multiple saliva swaps between members of sex inciting drama and insanity” but yeah, I guess this could fit under the category of “kissing”, right next to AWESOME and MACARONI.

    • MM
      MM
      March 4, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This is not one of them.

      • TacosForever
        TacosForever
        March 4, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        But one day you may not mind that so much!

        • Renadt
          Renadt
          March 4, 2013 at 1:54 am | #

          But he clearly said, “to blaive,” which means to bluff!

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            March 4, 2013 at 2:02 am | #

            But he is not left-handed!

            • Blue
              Blue
              March 4, 2013 at 2:52 am | #

              As you wish. 😉

              • Totz the Plaid
                Totz the Plaid
                March 4, 2013 at 8:39 am | #

                Have fun storming the castle!

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  March 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm | #

                  Stop saying that.

          • Totz the Plaid
            Totz the Plaid
            March 4, 2013 at 8:45 am | #

            Liar! Liiiiiaaaaaarrr!

            • mrelegos
              mrelegos
              March 4, 2013 at 7:42 pm | #

              You keep using that word…I do not think it means what you think it means…

              • Rex Hondo
                Rex Hondo
                March 4, 2013 at 11:16 pm | #

                I want my father back, you son of a bongo.

    • Nearphotison
      Nearphotison
      March 4, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

      One day, you may not mind the kissing so much.

  3. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    March 4, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    “I have seen the enemy, and he is me. But with broader shoulders.”

    • Resne
      Resne
      March 4, 2013 at 1:54 am | #

      And better fashion sense, but the bar for that is low enough that you could play limbo with it.

  4. Bunk
    Bunk
    March 4, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    I hate that question. No, Pepsi is NOT ok.

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      March 4, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      That’s when I switch to Sprite or 7-Up.

      • Skull025
        Skull025
        March 4, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        Dr. Pepper for me. Or my personal favorite, “Pepper-Up”

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          March 4, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          I always choose Dr. Pepper. Or Dr. Pepper 10 if I’m feeling daring.

    • Romanticide
      Romanticide
      March 4, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      If the business has Coca Cola drinks I tend to go for Coke or Sprite, if it has pepsi I go for seven up or Manzanita sol.

      Sometimes I wonder how annoying would I become if I ever get a boyfriend …

      By the way… it’s my birthday and I will read comics if I want too 😀

      • Jim
        Jim
        March 4, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

        Happy Birthday!

        • Wonder Wig
          Wonder Wig
          March 4, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

          Indded! Happy most glorious day of your birth!

      • Baroncognito
        Baroncognito
        March 4, 2013 at 7:28 am | #

        Small quirks are part of the fun of a significant other.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      March 4, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      I don’t like carbonated drinks period.

      • Skull025
        Skull025
        March 4, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

        Yeah, it’s never a good idea to eat anything’s period. Unless it’s chicken eggs.

        • Joe H
          Joe H
          March 4, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

          If that was a crack at Aizat’s poor punctuation from the lack of a comma before “period,” you should know that the lack of an apostrophe makes your interpretation incorrect as well.

          • Skull025
            Skull025
            March 4, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

            Yep. I just wanted an excuse to talk about chicken periods ^^
            They’re delicious.

            • Tylertlat
              Tylertlat
              March 4, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

              “I just wanted an excuse to talk about chicken periods”– Well darn, that caught my eye and now I have to read the whole comment tree.

              • Roborat
                Roborat
                March 4, 2013 at 2:59 pm | #

                Sometimes, reading the comments is better than the comic. This is one of them.

            • Joe H
              Joe H
              March 4, 2013 at 2:08 am | #

              Fair enough.

    • Kensou
      Kensou
      March 4, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

      Yes, Pepsi is NOT okay, it is the BEST cola.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        March 4, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

        OK soda is the best soda.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      March 4, 2013 at 3:31 am | #

      Exactly. It is -preferred-. This is empirical fact NONE OF YOU CAN DISAGREE.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      March 4, 2013 at 3:00 pm | #

      I agree, if they don’t have real coke, it’s lemonade or iced tea, I can’t stand Pepsi.

  5. Concerned Citizen
    Concerned Citizen
    March 4, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh dear, this can’t end well.

  6. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    March 4, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Joyce’s kissing skills are just as good as that first guy who tried to blow up the Death Star but missed.

    • Skull025
      Skull025
      March 4, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      I guess that guy’s aim just wasn’t very. . .
      Tongue n cheek.

    • Josh
      Josh
      March 4, 2013 at 4:31 am | #

      MY TONGUE, YOU WILL EAT IT!

    • TPman
      TPman
      March 4, 2013 at 3:03 pm | #

      Yah, that dude was a real bad kisser.

  7. Robbie C
    Robbie C
    March 4, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Christ, ANOTHER one of these strips? Can’t we go one damn week without Dina hogging the spotlight?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      March 4, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      She’s such an attention whore.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        March 4, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        She’s such an attentionsaur.

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      March 4, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      The fans wanted more Dina.

    • LS
      LS
      March 4, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

      There is no +1 button, so I will respond to say “Plus one to this!”

  8. Aizat
    Aizat
    March 4, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    So, Galasso’s Pizzaria is sponsored by Pepsi?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      March 4, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Well, he IS evil.

    • BlueRam
      BlueRam
      March 4, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      PEPSI IS FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG!!!

      • Toad
        Toad
        March 5, 2013 at 1:45 am | #

        The Gravatar made this perfect.

        • StClair
          StClair
          March 6, 2013 at 5:27 pm | #

          Agreed.

    • Melvin Schlock
      Melvin Schlock
      March 4, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      So, Dumbing of Age is sponsored by Pepsi?

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        March 4, 2013 at 10:46 am | #

        Willis wishes.

    • David
      David M Willis
      March 4, 2013 at 4:50 pm | #

      The real Mother Bear’s Pizza serves Pepsi.

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        March 4, 2013 at 5:58 pm | #

        Why would you eat there?

        • David
          David M Willis
          March 4, 2013 at 6:05 pm | #

          It’s two identically-tasting colas, man. I never understand the hysterics surrounding them.

          • SHAZAM
            SHAZAM
            March 4, 2013 at 6:25 pm | #

            Thank you.

            • Anickel4u
              Anickel4u
              March 4, 2013 at 9:22 pm | #

              You tell em willis

          • Valdrax
            Valdrax
            March 5, 2013 at 1:42 am | #

            Mostly because it’s funny.

          • HiEv
            HiEv
            March 5, 2013 at 10:42 am | #

            If they’re identically-tasting, why can I tell when I’ve ordered a Coke and I get a Pepsi instead? 😛

  9. MM
    MM
    March 4, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Yay Pamela! 😀

    • Originalslugboy
      Originalslugboy
      March 4, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      That made me happy, too.

    • TPman
      TPman
      March 4, 2013 at 3:16 pm | #

      But, but this means the sinking of the SS DargonxGalasso.
      They were perfect for each other…

  10. John
    John
    March 4, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    So when do we start demanding that Joyce be arrested for sexual assault?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      March 4, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      No, according to the law of double standard, we should go d’awwww.

      • John
        John
        March 4, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        I’m pretty sure that this is, at best, a d’oh.

      • Skull025
        Skull025
        March 4, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        D’aaw, look at the sheltered religious girl, finally making a move on a fine, fine dude.
        Too bad her heart will be broken into a thousand tiny pieces when she finds out he’s gay. From Mike.
        Also, only 52 hours for the first kiss? Gasp! Scandalous!

        • David Herbert
          David Herbert
          March 4, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

          Her forwardness may cause him to come clean, or end it tomorrow when he realises he can’t do what she wants from him.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            March 4, 2013 at 5:40 am | #

            Assuming he doesn’t just glass her first. 😛

            • blackaeon
              blackaeon
              March 4, 2013 at 5:32 pm | #

              He’s going to have to give her roofies daily and tell her that they were just getting freaky every time she loses her memory. That’s how I’ve kept my bear… wife this long. Wife.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 4, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

        One of my favorite 30 Rock jokes:

        “Women are allowed to get madder over the double standard than men.”

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      March 4, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

      Joyce has made him aware that she thinks they’re a couple, and Ethan hasn’t tried at all to dissuade her of this notion. In fact, he’s just fine with leading her on. So, technically, they’re “together”, so you can’t really spin what Joyce clearly views as a public display of affection (albeit brought on for the wrong reasons) as assault.

      I mean, if tomorrow Ethan shoves her away and she keeps trying, then I think it becomes assault. Or if Ethan had told her previously he wouldn’t be comfortable with them kissing, which he probably hasn’t, but if he hadn’t that makes it assault.

      It’s a lot more complicated than all that, really, but I think there’s a clear distinction between what’s happening here and what’s happened to Billie beyond the gender of the victim. Suffice it to say that if Ethan had no reason to expect Joyce to kiss him than yes, this would probably be assault.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        March 4, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

        Or if Ethan had told her previously he wouldn’t be comfortable with them kissing, which he probably hasn’t, but if he HAD that makes it assault. Sorry.

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          March 4, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

          And obviously it’s a great deal more complex than I’m making it out to be but it’s late and I’m tired.

      • Baroncognito
        Baroncognito
        March 4, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

        She didn’t have consent, and no amount of “She thinks they’re in a relationship and Ethan hasn’t said they aren’t” gives her consent.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          March 4, 2013 at 10:48 am | #

          Seriously?

          I mean, seriously?

          • Reepicheep-chan
            Reepicheep-chan
            March 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm | #

            Well yes, as a general rule you really ought to ask if kissing is ok before you do it, even if you are in a relationship. That does not mean this is really assult per se, but she did not technically have his consent, no.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              March 4, 2013 at 3:05 pm | #

              Really? There must be some time it finally is acceptable, when you are in a relationship. If I asked my wife for permission before I kissed her, she would look at me like I was insane.

              • David
                David M Willis
                March 4, 2013 at 4:56 pm | #

                YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL YOU MONSTER

              • Alyssa
                Alyssa
                March 4, 2013 at 9:06 pm | #

                People actually do need to warn me before touching me, no matter how close our relationship is. I specifically state as much, though.

            • Ryano
              Ryano
              March 4, 2013 at 11:17 pm | #

              When you water down assault down to this degree, it undermines the seriousness of real offenses. Going in for a kiss and being rejected is not assault. Repeating this behavior when you know it’s not appreciated is a different story.

    • DEG1377
      DEG1377
      March 4, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

      That’s always the awkward part, is figuring out what ACTUALLY constitutes “assault”. It’s hard to categorize, really. At the end of the day, though, it kind of comes down to if the victim feels they have been assaulted or not.

      But then you get some cases where the victim is stuck in codependency, and even THAT definition doesn’t work… :/

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        June 18, 2015 at 12:29 pm | #

        Depends on if you’re talking about it casually or in the context of the law. And those differ from region to region, never mind country to country. Common sense would dictate this situation is… well, sad. He’s leading her on and she assumes kissing is appropriate in this circumstance. If fault would be given, they’d both have a part of it. That sed, this situation is just… awkward.

  11. NerdHerder
    NerdHerder
    March 4, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    JOYCE IS GOING IN.

    • blackaeon
      blackaeon
      March 4, 2013 at 5:34 pm | #

      And that’s the only thing going in anywhere in that relationship!

  12. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    March 4, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Run Ethan, run!!!

  13. SUGauthor
    SUGauthor
    March 4, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    I think we’ve reached the point of no return for Ethan to back out without feelings getting hurt.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      March 4, 2013 at 10:50 am | #

      I think we passed that several months ago.

    • Sir Robin
      Sir Robin
      March 4, 2013 at 4:40 pm | #

      Better to do it here, then wait for the wedding day … or before Mike decides to make it worse

      • John
        John
        March 4, 2013 at 7:56 pm | #

        Mike has already decided to make it worse. He’s just biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to act.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        June 18, 2015 at 12:36 pm | #

        I’m not sure if Mike wouldn’t be… oddly helpful in this sad situation. He’s fooling himself and her and she’s doing the same via naivete/ignorance. Mike might just be what these two need to prevent further heartbreak. Then again, heartbreak is a vital tool in understanding oneself and life in general – it has it’s place and should be allowed to follow it’s course to a certain extent. Yes, I’m saying trauma would be good for Joyce, and knowing he’s been an asshole to someone as innocent as her might be good for Ethan as well (if his conscience isn’t completely dormant by this point).

  14. Aras Pabedinskas
    Aras Pabedinskas
    March 4, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    To me, it looks as if when Walky and Dorothy kiss, their faces begin to merge, but when Joyce and Ethan kiss, it looks like she is sucking up his face, consuming him!

    • DannyBoy
      DannyBoy
      March 4, 2013 at 8:19 am | #

      I think that’s to show the suddenness and different state of mind for each party.

  15. Barabajagal
    Barabajagal
    March 4, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Dayum does Joyce even kiss?

  16. Blue
    Blue
    March 4, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

    Ethan: I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!

    • Blue
      Blue
      March 4, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

      *sighs* It’s just not as funny without context.

      • Ry
        Ry
        March 4, 2013 at 7:15 am | #

        …no one expects the Spanish Inquisition?

  17. JebJeb
    JebJeb
    March 4, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    And cue Amber walking in.

    • Josh
      Josh
      March 4, 2013 at 5:38 am | #

      Amber and Mike. (Who has clearly forced this line of events from all the way back here: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/lincoln/)

  18. ridtom
    ridtom
    March 4, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    You smell that? That’s the figurative shit hitting the proverbial fan.

  19. BlueRam
    BlueRam
    March 4, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    If you look closely, you’ll notice that Pam’s apron does, indeed, mention that they have subs at Gelasso’s Pizza (and subs)

  20. Pivitor
    Pivitor
    March 4, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    BUT WHO IS GOING TO KISS DINA?!

    • Drunken Nordmann
      Drunken Nordmann
      March 4, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

      Mike?

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        March 4, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

        Right answer, wrong universe.

    • Athedia
      Athedia
      March 4, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

      I could…
      Please?

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        March 4, 2013 at 2:44 am | #

        Take a number. The line forms to the right.

    • Gargamel
      Gargamel
      March 4, 2013 at 4:28 pm | #

      Dina, Dina is going to kiss Dina.

    • John
      John
      March 4, 2013 at 8:02 pm | #

      She needs no kissy when she’s got T. rex.

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 18, 2015 at 12:39 pm | #

      Jeff Goldblum, obviously.

  21. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 4, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

    Walky’s answer in panel 3 is basically me in any conversation.

  22. TacosForever
    TacosForever
    March 4, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

    So…Joyce is forcing a kiss on a terrified gay dude, and as far as I remember, this is her FIRST kiss.
    …Startin’ off on the right foot, Joyce.

  23. Tom Speelman
    Tom Speelman
    March 4, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

    Oh, poor, poor Ethan.

    • Kensou
      Kensou
      March 4, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

      No, no, this is just deserts. Mind you, I can’t stay mad at the guy, but he needs to tell Joyce he can’t give her what she wants, and soon.

      • Ry
        Ry
        March 4, 2013 at 7:14 am | #

        Yeah, neither Ethan nor Joyce are really pitiable in this situation. They’ve both made very stupid and/or bad decisions, and both are going to wind up paying for it.

  24. MikeSpader
    MikeSpader
    March 4, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    Coming off of SP!’s latest story arc, I feel like Pamela’s new role is kinda… sad.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      March 4, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

      Why? She gets to spend time with her husband and daughter, and doesn’t have to break a universe to do it. Seems like a win-win to me.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 4, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

      It seems a lot better than what she’s doing in SP! right now.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 4, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

        Yea, decomposing is pretty bad. But working in a restaurant that only has Pepsi products? I’d say it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.

        • MM
          MM
          March 4, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

          All part of her plan. They’ll never notice the experimental formulas she’s slipped in each glass.

    • Bitstream
      Bitstream
      March 4, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

      Man, that was kind of my reaction. After her tremendous showing in the other strip, this is all she gets? But I have faith. There may never be epic world breaking here, but someday she’ll be interesting.

      And yeah, better’n dead fer sure.

      • Gargamel
        Gargamel
        March 4, 2013 at 4:45 pm | #

        Well if Shortpacked is anything to go by then this pizzeria is probably just a cover for her more ‘lucrative’ business that comes in middle of the night in delivery trucks with a surprisingly high RAD count for supposed pizza making machinery.

        Also Pepsi vs death, eh, you win some you lose some.

  25. nena
    nena
    March 4, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

    Uh oh!

  26. Tagg
    Tagg
    March 4, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

    Joyce’s eyes are looking a little green there.

  27. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 4, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

    Come on Joyce, You don’t want your first kiss to be out of petty jelousy. It has to be out of desperation.

  28. Davriel
    Davriel
    March 4, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

    This will only end in tears.

  29. Raibean
    Raibean
    March 4, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

    Only if Dorothy is a lesbian. We know she’s not a lesbian because she hasn’t kissed Billie.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      March 4, 2013 at 3:27 am | #

      Yet.

  30. PatBaer
    PatBaer
    March 4, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

    She’s wearing the shirt Walky picked out. This pleases me.

  31. Jon P
    Jon P
    March 4, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    The people asked for another comic with two girls kissing, and that’s exactly what you gave them!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 4, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

      I feel offended by this comment and I’m not gay.

      • Jordan
        Jordan
        March 4, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

        I feel confused by this comment and I am gay?

      • John
        John
        March 4, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

        I don’t think the intent was to call Ethan a girl. There are two girls kissing in this comic. They’re just not kissing each other.

        They totally should be, though. Joyce really needs to just own her girl-crush on Dorothy and stop using poor Ethan as a proxy.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          March 4, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

          Ah! Now I know! AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE
          I apologize.

          • Jon P
            Jon P
            March 4, 2013 at 3:08 pm | #

            Ohhhhh. Yeah, in retrospect that was a clumsy phrasing, and I can see how one could read it as referring to Ethan. John had the correct interpretation, but I’m sorry for something which could’ve been read as homophobic.

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          March 4, 2013 at 3:26 am | #

          I was gonna say, it’s ironic that both halves of the couple kissing in the last panel would probably rather be kissing the same-gendered person directly across from them.

  32. Jim
    Jim
    March 4, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    It’s almost as if she’s dislocated his shoulder!

    • Jim
      Jim
      March 4, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

      Aw geez, is this what my gravatar looks like now? I’ve become what I hate.

      • Davriel
        Davriel
        March 4, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

        And yet your gravatar seems so accepting of the situation.

        • Jim
          Jim
          March 4, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

          “It’s okay if you point at me. I don’t mind, really!”

      • Pinja
        Pinja
        March 4, 2013 at 3:08 am | #

        They’re not hard to change you know.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          March 4, 2013 at 10:54 am | #

          That that would end the roulette fun!

  33. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    March 4, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

    You’re three days late.

  34. Kurai Seraphim
    Kurai Seraphim
    March 4, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

    She should have known better than to hold hands, as it led her to this moment. Joyce totally got pregnant right there.

    • HD23
      HD23
      March 4, 2013 at 9:28 am | #

      No glove, no love.

  35. 31stwalker
    31stwalker
    March 4, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

    Aww, she’s trying to keep up!

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      March 4, 2013 at 10:55 am | #

      Wait ’til she finds out what they’re doing in the bedroom.

  36. Locke
    Locke
    March 4, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

    Wait, Pamela didn’t die from Dramatic Plot Disease in this timeline? Neat!

    (granted, she’s probably already made an appearance in DA, but this is just the first one I’ve noticed)

    • DEG1377
      DEG1377
      March 4, 2013 at 1:51 am | #

      Quick look at tags says yes, this is her only appearance so far.

      Handy things, those tags. Also potentially time-consuming if you click the wrong one.

    • Mogotoo
      Mogotoo
      March 4, 2013 at 9:18 am | #

      Galasso mentioned she would be coming to their table soon.

  37. Nono
    Nono
    March 4, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

    Okay, what happened to Ethan’s right shoulder/body in that last panner? Is he part of the Goo People?

  38. C.
    C.
    March 4, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

    I have been to several places that serve RC products, so having Pepsi would be a step up.

  39. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 4, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

    2 people in this room died in another universe.

    • Baroncognito
      Baroncognito
      March 4, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

      More than that.

    • John
      John
      March 4, 2013 at 1:37 am | #

      Three. At least.

  40. Tylertlat
    Tylertlat
    March 4, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

    Joyce is heartrendingly cute in the third panel.

    • Ry
      Ry
      March 4, 2013 at 7:09 am | #

      If by “heartrendingly cute” you mean “displaying all the emotional maturity of a spoiled brat”, then sure, we’ll go with that.

  41. Cope
    Cope
    March 4, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

    I think she missed his lips.

  42. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    March 4, 2013 at 2:06 am | #

    Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy, I cannot wait for the inevitable reveal. Soulcrush!

  43. Twirls
    Twirls
    March 4, 2013 at 2:12 am | #

    Pepsi is awesome, way to go Galasso’s Pizza (and subs).
    And I’m still in “aww” mode over Dorothy wearing the shirt, so I’m just going to ignore that last panel…

  44. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    March 4, 2013 at 2:17 am | #

    Mountain Dew or Pepsi Max for me.

  45. HLY
    HLY
    March 4, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

    joyce, I’m not sure how to say this but…. I think you missed

  46. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    March 4, 2013 at 2:47 am | #

    Why so surprised, Ethan? Isn’t your face usually where a beard goes?

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      March 4, 2013 at 2:57 am | #

      …Well played.

    • Pinja
      Pinja
      March 4, 2013 at 3:07 am | #

      ZING!

    • vsophi
      vsophi
      March 4, 2013 at 3:15 am | #

      +1

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 4, 2013 at 5:42 am | #

      I buy that for a dollar!

    • StClair
      StClair
      March 6, 2013 at 5:30 pm | #

      Oh my.

  47. kirocontoy
    kirocontoy
    March 4, 2013 at 2:51 am | #

    Joyce…. You’re trying too hard.

  48. Kelly
    Kelly
    March 4, 2013 at 3:26 am | #

    “Probably. I’m pretty great”

    Ahaha! Not lacking in self confidence, is he? 😀

  49. ADHadh
    ADHadh
    March 4, 2013 at 4:17 am | #

    Not yet Walky, but you’re halfway there.
    THE TIES ARE COMING!

  50. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    March 4, 2013 at 5:09 am | #

    Surprise smooches? On a Monday?

    Clearly there has been some kind of scheduling error.

    • Gordon Blvd
      Gordon Blvd
      March 4, 2013 at 6:12 am | #

      hahahahaha!!! Nice catch, crumple!

  51. John Harmon
    John Harmon
    March 4, 2013 at 5:16 am | #

    “Is Pepsi ok?”

    “Only if Canadian money is ok.”

    • Marika Oniki
      Marika Oniki
      March 6, 2013 at 6:45 pm | #

      I doubt they’d have much problem with it, being three cents under a US Dollar, currently. 😛

  52. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    March 4, 2013 at 5:43 am | #

    “If it doesn’t fit, you cannot commit”

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      March 4, 2013 at 11:29 pm | #

      Do you mean to imply that Ethan is… That his…?

      Ohhhh myyyy.

  53. JustShy
    JustShy
    March 4, 2013 at 6:18 am | #

    I love how she’s like *jealous* and he’s like *how cute.*

  54. MenachemSchmuel
    MenachemSchmuel
    March 4, 2013 at 6:28 am | #

    Ethan and Joyce’s faces didn’t melt together! Not a real kiss! NOT A REAL KISS!

  55. PinkiePiecrust
    PinkiePiecrust
    March 4, 2013 at 6:38 am | #

    Eh, I much prefer Pepsi. Lesser of two evils.

  56. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    March 4, 2013 at 6:41 am | #

    I much prefer Coke, especially Cherry Coke Zero. That’s the good stuff!

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      March 4, 2013 at 3:09 pm | #

      I prefer Cherry Coke, but I can’t find it here in Alberta. I get my parents to bring it up from Arizona when they visit.

  57. PureLionHeart
    PureLionHeart
    March 4, 2013 at 7:14 am | #

    No. No it’s not okay. It’s NEVER okay.

  58. Furie
    Furie
    March 4, 2013 at 7:54 am | #

    Ethan’s explosive reveal in three, two, one…

    • Mogotoo
      Mogotoo
      March 4, 2013 at 9:31 am | #

      To which Joyce responds with, “happy, right? :S”.

  59. DannyBoy
    DannyBoy
    March 4, 2013 at 8:55 am | #

    Honestly, I can’t wait for Joyce’s soul to be crushed into thousands of tiny pieces when Ethan tells her the truth. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve already seen one Joyce mature over roughly 8 years or so, but I can’t stand seeing this Joyce.

  60. Maestro
    Maestro
    March 4, 2013 at 8:56 am | #

    Boy, that escalated quickly.

  61. Andrew
    Andrew
    March 4, 2013 at 9:10 am | #

    And now we know for sure Pamela is alive in this universe! Truely this is a good monday.

  62. Deimir
    Deimir
    March 4, 2013 at 9:47 am | #

    Premarital hanky-panky!

    • Dr.Z
      Dr.Z
      March 4, 2013 at 12:28 pm | #

      Oh Sh- where’s Mike?!

  63. Kirt Dankmyer
    Kirt Dankmyer
    March 4, 2013 at 10:36 am | #

    Despite the fact this is going to end in tears, Joyce’s blushing kiss is goddamn *adorable*. Like, a basket full of kittens level adorable.

    • Dr.Z
      Dr.Z
      March 4, 2013 at 12:27 pm | #

      That is poetry, my friend. 🙂

  64. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    March 4, 2013 at 10:44 am | #

    All I can hear with that kiss is that weird kid from FLCL screaming “SMOOOOCH! SMU SMOOOCH! SMOOOOOOOCH!”

    • Kemp
      Kemp
      March 4, 2013 at 11:23 pm | #

      Then Ethan’s enormous “thingie” erupts from his head, jabs into Joyce’s stomach, and Sal plays a bass solo.

      • StClair
        StClair
        March 6, 2013 at 5:31 pm | #

        I THINK I CAN
        I THINK I CAN
        I THINK I CAAAN!

  65. Raen
    Raen
    March 4, 2013 at 12:08 pm | #

    And now Ethan walks out saying “fuck off.”

  66. Dr.Z
    Dr.Z
    March 4, 2013 at 12:27 pm | #

    Lol! Silly Walky. It’s so awkward when a boy starts to thinks girls don’t have cooties.

    Cool Pamela insert. (Thumbs up.)

  67. penguintruth
    penguintruth
    March 4, 2013 at 12:32 pm | #

    Any place not serving Dr. Pepper and/or Mello Yello is not my friend.

    • NightmareWarden
      NightmareWarden
      July 4, 2013 at 10:16 pm | #

      What the balls is…I’m just gonna look it up.
      Huh. Mello Yello doesn’t look particularly appetizing to me… Replace it with Big Red and then I’d agree with you.

  68. robopanda333
    robopanda333
    March 4, 2013 at 12:33 pm | #

    i feel so sorry for ethan, but at the same time he should stick up for himself instead of being such a putz.

  69. scabbert
    scabbert
    March 4, 2013 at 1:40 pm | #

    Is the next one where Ethan vomits directly into Joyce’s open mouth?

    • Shobo
      Shobo
      March 4, 2013 at 1:54 pm | #

      They might have to go back to their dorms before they begin foreplay.

  70. Em
    Em
    March 4, 2013 at 1:59 pm | #

    Okay, cue a nice “OH GOD NO I’M GAY” out burst.
    Sadly, that’s not Ethan. He’ll probably go along with this until he spots a really sexy guy who he’s super into. Then something might happen. Maybe.

  71. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    March 4, 2013 at 2:01 pm | #

    Man, is Joyce queing up to be the new Mary? Eh? Eh? Anybody remember Mary?

    • TPman
      TPman
      March 4, 2013 at 2:50 pm | #

      I don’t know about that one. DoA already has a Mary and she still comes off as worse than Joyce.

    • Josh
      Josh
      March 4, 2013 at 3:53 pm | #

      No wonder she was a virgin, if she kept throwing herself at gay guyz.

  72. Roborat
    Roborat
    March 4, 2013 at 3:10 pm | #

    I don’t know what Joyce is kissing, but it sure isn’t his mouth.

  73. Ray
    Ray
    March 4, 2013 at 3:13 pm | #

    So which train wreck is worse here, the five year old boy in a college freshman’s body and the girlfriend who wants him to grow up, or the out of the closet gay guy who by omission is encouraging a girl who was probably raised by homophobes to think of him as a boyfriend?

    You know when I put it that way, it’s abundantly clear how hard David Willis is working to make everything that happens be ridiculous. This includes the other thing with the girl screwing her class TA out of boredom even after listening to his would-be girlfriend complain in no uncertain terms that he’s not worth the effort.

  74. ralpal
    ralpal
    March 4, 2013 at 6:44 pm | #

    This comic just made me feel uncomfortable. Mostly because I don’t think anyone should have to hide their sexual orientation… I hope this gets solved quickly.

    Also, Coke is definitely better.

  75. AckAckAck
    AckAckAck
    March 4, 2013 at 10:19 pm | #

    I can’t believe people are arguing over sugared water with artificial taste and colouring.

    I prefer Ramune myself.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      March 4, 2013 at 11:34 pm | #

      Agreed. I’ll quite happily drink either, or neither, depending on mood, food pairing, and availability.

      Like most nerd “fights”, I long since decided to find it a source of amusement instead of frustration.

  76. JA
    JA
    March 4, 2013 at 10:54 pm | #

    So amusing when Joyce corrupts herself.

  77. lightsabermario
    lightsabermario
    March 5, 2013 at 3:53 am | #

    Whichever sweet beverage gives me the most caffeine per cent. I haven’t tallied many beverages for this, but 2 L Mountain Dew seems to be the best so far. (plus I love the blue dew) If anyone else knows any better beverages for this scale, let me know.

    • Jim
      Jim
      March 5, 2013 at 9:50 pm | #

      Just do a google search for 5150 juice. For $60 you’ll get 64,000 mg of caffiene. (That’s 400 Monster Engergy Drinks or 1,185 12 oz cans of Mountain Dew).

      • Narf
        Narf
        June 4, 2013 at 11:39 pm | #

        The heart attacks come at no extra charge, of course. :p

  78. Syn
    Syn
    September 2, 2013 at 1:10 pm | #

    A can of Sprite that has been sitting in the car at the peak of a hot midsummer day, second best drink in the world next to a hot ginger ale (hot as in a sip from a cold bottle of one makes you feel like someone just punched your uvula into the back of your throat).

  79. Nathan
    Nathan
    September 3, 2013 at 6:57 pm | #

    Pamela!

  80. james
    james
    October 21, 2013 at 10:46 pm | #

    mother bears pizza is the best

  81. Onion
    Onion
    April 29, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

    The dramatic irony is at a painful level.

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