Not that I’m a fan of Aquaman or anything, but people are really fucking ignorant about him. He is not weak and he is not useless. Think about being able to withstand the pressure on the bottom of the ocean with no gear, pressure that would collapse your skull, then think about Aquaman.
Yeah thanks alot family guy, so fucking funny.
Not to dismiss your hate of Family Guy, believe me I loathe it, but the jokes go farther back than that. Most people cite Superfriends being the root of problem.
Fish don’t survive those depths by being super strong and tough, they survive by being porous and letting the internal and external pressures equalize. They pop and disintegrate into goo if they come up to the surface.
Anyway, yes, they tacked on generic flying brick powers to make aquaman into a serious character, but the *core concept* was supposed to be the king of the sea who can talk to sea creatures, and it’s fair to criticize based on that conception.
There are fish that can dive and rise. Whales aren’t porous, yet some of them can dive deep. Also, no human being could handle the currents…yet Aquaman does. He doesn’t freeze to death either.
And recently it was discovered that sea creatures have an effect on tides.
Having read the very first Aquaman story ever written, I will tell you that “really strong guy that also swims” is the character’s core concept. He started controlling sea life about five or six years into the character’s existence. See also Superman’s ability to fly.
Seeing how even in his super-friends days he was shown as having super-strength, it’s only fair to criticize him on that concept if you choose to ignore reality and go only by your biases.
I agree that Aquaman isn’t nearly as bad as most people seem to think he is. Even so, he’s still nothing compared to Namor. Even when Aquaman is all moody he’s nowhere near as big of a dick as Namor is either.
Well the thing about Namor is that he is less well known than Aquaman. Most of what I can tell you about Namor is he is usually the most lightly dressed male superhero, he’s an a**hole, and he is usually potrayed as obsessed with Invisible Woman.
People don’t mock Namor because he doesn’t have the same power set as Aquaman – he’s a top-tier “flying brick” comparable to Thor. He has repeatedly demonstrated feats of strength and durability far in excess of Aquaman.
He has repeatedly demonstrated feats of strength and durability *comparable to* Aquaman. The difference is that Aquaman’s first and most lasting mainstream-visible media was Superfriends, where no one was allowed to hit things. This meant that Superman used his cold breath, Batman used his batline to tie things up (and other utility belt silliness), Wonder Woman used her lasso, and Aquaman (whose other powers mostly revolve around strength and hitting things) sent fish to do his bidding.
If Namor had been on a show with the same visibility with the same restrictions, I guarantee you’d be seeing Namor jokes on Family Guy instead.
PS: Namor also has the “control sea life” powerset. He’s just not well-known for using it. It’s also not built-in; he has a magic trumpet that calls to them.
Namor doesn’t need telepathy to control sea life. They’d do what he said because he’s fucking Namor, and he will shout at them in faux-Latin if they don’t do what he said.
Namor looks ridiculous, but he does not give any number of shits about that. He’s the closest thing the Marvel universe has to Mike. He will fuck your mom. And then stop a martian invasion.
Fun fact – in the brief “DC vs. Marvel” series, Aquaman did fight Namor. And won by pinning him underneath an orca whale.
Also, this is a lot of discussion about what was essentially a joke about the common perception of Aquaman. A poorly executed joke, but a joke nonetheless.
Namor, you mean the 90s anti-hero from 1939? On one hand, that sounds like he designed to be mocked. On the other, he’s a freaking bad ass. No bad for a fleshling.
Namor wears tiny swimming shorts because he has an awesome body, and he wants the ladies to admire it and the men to feel akward about it.
Hope to Namor: “You’re not just a pretty face, are you?”
Namor: “No. A complete compilation of Namor’s virtues would be a far lengthier list.”
Hope: “Would it include ‘great abs’?”
Namor: “Yes, they would be documented.”
Namor is the guy who will punch the Hulk, save the Earth from giant space monsters and then hit on your wife, all while talking down to everyone. Aquaman is the guy who whines that “No-one takes me seriously! I am tough! I am! I really, really am!”
Also, humans evolved from sea creatures. The kind that Aquaman has a psychic link to. We’re too distant for his usual telepathy, but that doesn’t man he can’t reach into your head and twist.
Cartoon Network already have mocked Aquaman several times, and before that, Hanna Barbera had ridiculed him, paintig him as an useless piece of scenary, in the Superfriends series.
LOL. Sorry, Aquaman is weak. It’s not because of Family Guy that people think so. They think so because he is. You know how you beat Aquaman? Don’t get in the ocean. Pretty simple 🙂 Of course, most of DC is pretty useless anyway save for Batman.
Did you read ANY of the other comics? A humanoid would not be able to survive under the ocean if that were true.
And, again, sea life has a significant effect on tides. Taken to its logical conclusion, he has the potential to wield more power than the moon. I’m not even a big DC fan and that made my jaw drop.
He WAS weak and useless, and then people talked so much shit about him that DC did what they always do and arbitrarily powered him up to Superman levels. Same thing happened to Wonder Woman.
that’s complete revisionist history, repeated by people who can’t comprehend their image of the character has ALWAYS been wrong and when they find out the truth, they have to tell themselves that it’s surely a new development, when it’s really not.
Name me a point in time wen you think Aquaman was useless and I will show you examples from even before then to prove you wrong.
If he doesn’t apologize next strip, I’ll spend the next 20 years of my life developing an interdimensional teleporter and enter the dumbingverse so that I may then smack him. (I don’t care if Dorothy beat me to it)
I think that bug-eyed horrified face she made when she first heard Dorothy was an atheist should be her default reaction to everything. Here depicted by the emoticon \(◎◎)/
Sarah: We’re out of toilet paper
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Dina: The Smallest Dinosaur was the Saltopus. It was only 3 feet long, and weighed about five pounds.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Leslie: You got an A on your test.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Leslie: I’m so inspired I’m converting to your religion.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Leslie: Just kidding, boobs are way too awesome. And you actually got an A-.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Especially after they shafted us on the DVDs. They Basically gave us random episodes from season 1 and 2 and threw in some half assed commentary from the storyboarders.
Every time “Dexter and Monkey Master” show up in the strip, I google to see if Willis ever actually created an animated series, but I’m getting the feeling I’m on a snipe hunt. Could someone level with me? Thanks.
The real question is, which episode to start Joyce on? I mean, give her the best episode and it’s all downhill from there, but give her a really bad episode and it’s hard for her to keep going.
Not that the bad episodes aren’t still good, of course.
I didn’t really start getting hooked until half way through the 2nd season. I feel like that was right around when the production value started improving.
I think they’d probably better skip “Time Travel Trouble.” It’s one of the best, but they sneak a couple of girl/girl jokes in under the radar on that one. Usually, they’d probably just fly right over Joyce’s head, but the way things are going now…
Personally, I find that starting at the start and going straight through to the end can only be topped by starting in the middle and working your way out on a spiral.
White people would try and make it, but we blew our racial perks budget some time in the 50’s. Just been costing on what’s been accumulated before for the last 60 years, but they’re starting to run low. Just give it another 30 years and school history books will no longer be Eurocentric. But hey, that’s what we get for trying to have it all.
That’s really how I had Jacob pegged back in his earliest SP! appearances. It seemed like his every response to other people’s dialogue was designed to take the wind out of their sails. Not in the explicitly malicious Mike sort of way, just as blunt and honest statements with no interest in sparing feelings. In the absence of a character focus that delves into his own personal problems, that’s about as much as there is to Jacob’s role in either universe.
So… I think Joyce and Walky might end up together in this universe too. Especially if some freaky HA stuff happens somehow…. Which I think it totally could
Jacob has chocolate abs. Walky has caramel abs.
You know what you get with Chocolate, Caramel, and nuts?
Turtles. You get turtles. If Walky and Jacob hook up, they will make turtles.
OK, I’m liking this version of Jacob. I wonder if he’s got his Shortpacked! counterpart’s psychological problems? It’d be almost more interesting if not: that would make him a drastically different character.
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I woulda been here sooner, but y’know…traffic.
I lost my shoes, and they got mounted… You know how it goes.
What’s the rush? Jacob’s Cantaloupe Lipstick has lasted two strips so far!!
Had to start from the balls and travel the ureta road until I reached the main urethra high way and then it was only a matter making it to the end
I bet he did, too.
You’re on! Ten bucks!
Is this just Walky’s superpower? I feel like even Aquaman has a more useful one than that…
Not that I’m a fan of Aquaman or anything, but people are really fucking ignorant about him. He is not weak and he is not useless. Think about being able to withstand the pressure on the bottom of the ocean with no gear, pressure that would collapse your skull, then think about Aquaman.
Yeah thanks alot family guy, so fucking funny.
Also, Aquaman can control Cthulhu, now that’s an awesome power in of itself.
Also He can swim as fast as superman can fly. Even half that speed would kill the shit out of you.
I really hope you can cite your sources because that S*** SOUNDS AWESOME and I want to see it!
http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Aquaman_(Arthur_Curry)
Powers and abilities are near the bottom.
He’s not as fast as Superman underwater, but he sure as heck is faster than anybody or anything else.
That doesn’t sound right
Superman flies within spitting distance of the Flash’s speed.
Although at least one issue claimed Flash is WAY faster.
Superman: I’ve raced you before, Barry. I even won some of those races.
Flash: Those were for charity, Clark.
Well, of course. If the Flash isn’t faster than Superman, he becomes redundant.
Superman’s inclusion in the Justice league makes most of them redundant unless he gets nerfed and they get buffed.
rofl on nerfing/buffing
Wasn’t the Spectre on the justice league for a while? That’s even sillier.
well, there’s always kryptonite
And Supes should’ve responded:
“And those were Foot races, Barry.”
Saying you can fly faster than someone who can’t fly is not really good bragging material.
@Andiemus: Thus, don’t say it like that. Instead just say you’re faster at racing, if it is freestyle.
Pretty sure that would vaporize the ocean and kill everything on the planet.
Going that fast would require more power than going that same speed on foot (no idea on energy requirements for flying), so that’s pretty fast
I refer you all to Ryan North’s seminal work on better uses for fictional superheroes http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2230
Shows what he knows. Flash IS a scientist (forensics)!
It wasn’t cthulu, but still pretty big
.
contrary to popular opinion, cthulhu is not an aquatic life-form, despite his current location under the sea.
Not to dismiss your hate of Family Guy, believe me I loathe it, but the jokes go farther back than that. Most people cite Superfriends being the root of problem.
yeah. Super friend’s aquaman was kinda dumb…then again…superfriends was kinda dumb.
Yeah, that’s what I’ve always thought. South Park made fun of aquaman via seaman in “Super best friends.”(one of the best episodes, I might add).
Fish don’t survive those depths by being super strong and tough, they survive by being porous and letting the internal and external pressures equalize. They pop and disintegrate into goo if they come up to the surface.
Anyway, yes, they tacked on generic flying brick powers to make aquaman into a serious character, but the *core concept* was supposed to be the king of the sea who can talk to sea creatures, and it’s fair to criticize based on that conception.
But Aquaman can survive on the surface as well
That kind of requires that he just has sheer toughness to withstand the crushing pressures
There are fish that can dive and rise. Whales aren’t porous, yet some of them can dive deep. Also, no human being could handle the currents…yet Aquaman does. He doesn’t freeze to death either.
And recently it was discovered that sea creatures have an effect on tides.
And his lungs don’t explode. He’s gotta have several secondary powers.
Having read the very first Aquaman story ever written, I will tell you that “really strong guy that also swims” is the character’s core concept. He started controlling sea life about five or six years into the character’s existence. See also Superman’s ability to fly.
Seeing how even in his super-friends days he was shown as having super-strength, it’s only fair to criticize him on that concept if you choose to ignore reality and go only by your biases.
I agree that Aquaman isn’t nearly as bad as most people seem to think he is. Even so, he’s still nothing compared to Namor. Even when Aquaman is all moody he’s nowhere near as big of a dick as Namor is either.
But no one mocks Namor, despite him being a slightly older character, having the same powerset, and having objectively a far sillier costume.
Well the thing about Namor is that he is less well known than Aquaman. Most of what I can tell you about Namor is he is usually the most lightly dressed male superhero, he’s an a**hole, and he is usually potrayed as obsessed with Invisible Woman.
I mock Namor all the time.
YARRRR
People don’t mock Namor because he doesn’t have the same power set as Aquaman – he’s a top-tier “flying brick” comparable to Thor. He has repeatedly demonstrated feats of strength and durability far in excess of Aquaman.
Plus, he’s an arrogant prick.
He is aquaman with a vulcan face and itty bitty ankle wings.
Alls I am sayin is everyone who does not mock him is objectively wrong.
He has repeatedly demonstrated feats of strength and durability *comparable to* Aquaman. The difference is that Aquaman’s first and most lasting mainstream-visible media was Superfriends, where no one was allowed to hit things. This meant that Superman used his cold breath, Batman used his batline to tie things up (and other utility belt silliness), Wonder Woman used her lasso, and Aquaman (whose other powers mostly revolve around strength and hitting things) sent fish to do his bidding.
If Namor had been on a show with the same visibility with the same restrictions, I guarantee you’d be seeing Namor jokes on Family Guy instead.
PS: Namor also has the “control sea life” powerset. He’s just not well-known for using it. It’s also not built-in; he has a magic trumpet that calls to them.
Namor doesn’t need telepathy to control sea life. They’d do what he said because he’s fucking Namor, and he will shout at them in faux-Latin if they don’t do what he said.
Namor looks ridiculous, but he does not give any number of shits about that. He’s the closest thing the Marvel universe has to Mike. He will fuck your mom. And then stop a martian invasion.
You sir, made me laugh – out loud even. But you forgot he’d also fuck Invisible Woman while doing your mom… somehow.
Fun fact – in the brief “DC vs. Marvel” series, Aquaman did fight Namor. And won by pinning him underneath an orca whale.
Also, this is a lot of discussion about what was essentially a joke about the common perception of Aquaman. A poorly executed joke, but a joke nonetheless.
An orca is a dolphin, not a whale. And his strength depends on water contact…so that’s bs. Not saying you made that up, just that the comic fails.
BEHOLD, the beauty of the DoA comment section! REJOICE!
Namor, you mean the 90s anti-hero from 1939? On one hand, that sounds like he designed to be mocked. On the other, he’s a freaking bad ass. No bad for a fleshling.
Namor wears tiny swimming shorts because he has an awesome body, and he wants the ladies to admire it and the men to feel akward about it.
Hope to Namor: “You’re not just a pretty face, are you?”
Namor: “No. A complete compilation of Namor’s virtues would be a far lengthier list.”
Hope: “Would it include ‘great abs’?”
Namor: “Yes, they would be documented.”
Namor is the guy who will punch the Hulk, save the Earth from giant space monsters and then hit on your wife, all while talking down to everyone. Aquaman is the guy who whines that “No-one takes me seriously! I am tough! I am! I really, really am!”
OK I will grant you his abs are pretty great.
Truly spoken like someone who has never read an Aquaman comic in his life…
Also, humans evolved from sea creatures. The kind that Aquaman has a psychic link to. We’re too distant for his usual telepathy, but that doesn’t man he can’t reach into your head and twist.
His psychic abilities have been used in the comics to cause migraines and seizures in human opponents.
It’s not Family Guy’s fault.
Cartoon Network already have mocked Aquaman several times, and before that, Hanna Barbera had ridiculed him, paintig him as an useless piece of scenary, in the Superfriends series.
“My ability to talk to fish is of no help, Wonder Woman!”
[‘oy’ expression]
How the heck would the ropes hold Wonder Woman? =/
LOL. Sorry, Aquaman is weak. It’s not because of Family Guy that people think so. They think so because he is. You know how you beat Aquaman? Don’t get in the ocean. Pretty simple 🙂 Of course, most of DC is pretty useless anyway save for Batman.
Did you read ANY of the other comics? A humanoid would not be able to survive under the ocean if that were true.
And, again, sea life has a significant effect on tides. Taken to its logical conclusion, he has the potential to wield more power than the moon. I’m not even a big DC fan and that made my jaw drop.
Yeah, anyone who says most of DC is useless save for Batman automatically forfeits any right to any discussion of comic book heroes.
He WAS weak and useless, and then people talked so much shit about him that DC did what they always do and arbitrarily powered him up to Superman levels. Same thing happened to Wonder Woman.
that’s complete revisionist history, repeated by people who can’t comprehend their image of the character has ALWAYS been wrong and when they find out the truth, they have to tell themselves that it’s surely a new development, when it’s really not.
Name me a point in time wen you think Aquaman was useless and I will show you examples from even before then to prove you wrong.
He is like Tucker from RvB. He knows when he is needed.
Haa!
Why am I flashing back to Pokemon?
You want to be the very best?
Because Walky has to catch ’em all? (ie. all the Monkey Master episodes)
Like no one ever was…
To catch them is my real test…
To train them is my cause!
(damn you all that song is in my head now)
Try traveling across the land, it helps.
No. Well, yes, but that’s not it.
You were polishing your pokeballs? 😀
Is that what we’re calling it now?
They were tired. They earned it.
I came
when I heard you’d beaten the Elite Four.
That’s it!
Haha, CLASSIC Walky.
IT’S A PUN!
I get it.
Given the state that Joyce left the pair, I’m assuming his balls aren’t tired from EE-EHR EE-EHR.
More like BASH BASH BASH…
wait that could also be sexual…
Ha, you said pair!
It just hit me:
Dexter’s Laboratory
Dial M for Monkey
Now anytime I see Monkey Master, I’m going to have Monkey’s theme playing in my head, which is pretty awesome, so thanks!
Monkey theme song FTW.
I know Willis has said that Dexter has the voice of Jon Lovitz, but I always hear Mandark (aka Eddie Deezen).
Ugh, I can’t stand that guy. Can I imagine Tom Kenny instead?
Ding!
If he doesn’t apologize next strip, I’ll spend the next 20 years of my life developing an interdimensional teleporter and enter the dumbingverse so that I may then smack him. (I don’t care if Dorothy beat me to it)
Walky is kind of a jerk. An honest jerk but a jerk all the same.
Walky came as soon as he heard D&MM? I hope he remembered to change his pants.
This is Walky We’re talking about. Do you think he EVER changes his pants?
I forgot he only has one pair of PJ jeans.
Good old hover text.
This was one of my favorite jokes from Duckman.
Cornfed: I came as soon as I heard Duckman was missing.
Aunt Beatrice: So did I. Then I got a little worried. Ha!
Loved that show. Underrated gem.
Oh Duckman. That show I was too young to watch when it was on…but Like seeing reruns of on the interwebs.
Uh oh, let’s see if Joyce is still angry with him.
Although Angry Joyce Faces are the best…
I’m torn.
I think that bug-eyed horrified face she made when she first heard Dorothy was an atheist should be her default reaction to everything. Here depicted by the emoticon \(◎◎)/
Sarah: We’re out of toilet paper
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Dina: The Smallest Dinosaur was the Saltopus. It was only 3 feet long, and weighed about five pounds.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Leslie: You got an A on your test.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Leslie: I’m so inspired I’m converting to your religion.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
Leslie: Just kidding, boobs are way too awesome. And you actually got an A-.
Joyce: \(◎◎)/
They’ve put Dexter & Monkey Master up on Netflix? About time the studio got off their asses.
Especially after they shafted us on the DVDs. They Basically gave us random episodes from season 1 and 2 and threw in some half assed commentary from the storyboarders.
And they left out some real classics, too. Not to mention how they only put in the edited versions used for syndication. Honestly, it was criminal.
Every time “Dexter and Monkey Master” show up in the strip, I google to see if Willis ever actually created an animated series, but I’m getting the feeling I’m on a snipe hunt. Could someone level with me? Thanks.
No. No he did not. You are in fact on a snipe hunt.
But all that means is Walky SHOULD make a D & MM stript!
I’m still working on the episode summaries, by the way. Life’s been busy lately.
The real question is, which episode to start Joyce on? I mean, give her the best episode and it’s all downhill from there, but give her a really bad episode and it’s hard for her to keep going.
Not that the bad episodes aren’t still good, of course.
The first season can be kind of a chore at times, but it’s worth it in the long run. It really grows the beard in later seasons.
I didn’t really start getting hooked until half way through the 2nd season. I feel like that was right around when the production value started improving.
I think they’d probably better skip “Time Travel Trouble.” It’s one of the best, but they sneak a couple of girl/girl jokes in under the radar on that one. Usually, they’d probably just fly right over Joyce’s head, but the way things are going now…
Ooh, but you know she’d love when they bring in April Winchell as the voice of Monkey Master’s Mom.
Personally, I find that starting at the start and going straight through to the end can only be topped by starting in the middle and working your way out on a spiral.
So Jacob and Walky know each other quite well then?
We black people are mentally linked. They know of each other through Racial Synergy.
So black people have racially based ESP, I wonder if that counts as an example of Heart Is An Awesome Power trope or the Blessed With Suck trope.
Hispanics are working on it, but it’s still a little spotty.
White people would try and make it, but we blew our racial perks budget some time in the 50’s. Just been costing on what’s been accumulated before for the last 60 years, but they’re starting to run low. Just give it another 30 years and school history books will no longer be Eurocentric. But hey, that’s what we get for trying to have it all.
Unfortunately, we’ll never catch up to the Asians. They’ve got it down pat.
We have worked up to communicating vi a look and a nod so far but it still requires a line of sight.
Man, this Jacob is either a jerk, or just plum tired of other people existing.
Maybe he *would* be a match for Sarah!
That’s really how I had Jacob pegged back in his earliest SP! appearances. It seemed like his every response to other people’s dialogue was designed to take the wind out of their sails. Not in the explicitly malicious Mike sort of way, just as blunt and honest statements with no interest in sparing feelings. In the absence of a character focus that delves into his own personal problems, that’s about as much as there is to Jacob’s role in either universe.
He does seem really different from the other one, doesn’t he?
Not unless we find out he and Ethan have some sort of rivalry.
Well, they do have conflicting goals. Jacob wants to bang chicks, Ethan wants to bang Jacob.
And chicks want to bang Ethan. The Holy Trinity!
Actually, chicks want to bang Jacob and Ethan, which is called the Holy Trinity. It’s one of the moves Roz taught Joe.
She taught him to be Jacob and Ethan? Talk about a sex god.
I came as soon as Jacob was amazingly hilariously snarky.
I came as soon as Jacob…
…That is all.
Jacob is shaping up to be my second favorite character in the show. The first you ask? Ruth but of course ^_^
So… I think Joyce and Walky might end up together in this universe too. Especially if some freaky HA stuff happens somehow…. Which I think it totally could
Niiice
I just had a delayed “OOOOH” moment.
Jacob is climbing in the ranks of my favorite characters.
Yeah, on third reading spaced many months apart, I just realized that Jacob’s comment was full of innuendo . . .
Nice to see you Walky, they were afraid Joyce might stop feeling bad.
There is no comic without Joyce’s sadness. It’s just one of those things.
After what she daid last time? Nah, walky’s just icing on the cake, now.
Sass-ah!
Yup, just what Joyce needs. Old seriously sensitive Walky.
Jacob looking like a good match for Sarah after all.
Fanart of flying Walky flapping his balls. (See hovertext.)
Get on it!
I don’t think that’s quite what was meant, but, now you’ve mentioned it, the rules (34, 35 and occasionally 36) require it to happen.
Both Jacob AND Walky’s caramel abs?
Talk about temptation…
Jacob has chocolate abs. Walky has caramel abs.
You know what you get with Chocolate, Caramel, and nuts?
Turtles. You get turtles. If Walky and Jacob hook up, they will make turtles.
Thank you, Laugh of the Day™
The nuts being provided by Ethan?
You’re gonna love my nuts
Til you’re bifocal-curious!
The clue here is, he was only next door…
Ethan’s new haircut is messing with my mind, it’s almost like it’s changed his entire face o_O
OK, I’m liking this version of Jacob. I wonder if he’s got his Shortpacked! counterpart’s psychological problems? It’d be almost more interesting if not: that would make him a drastically different character.
If Jacob still is a sexual addict, then Ethan could have his first experience just a six pack away…
Now is it just me, or is 3rd panel Joyce super-adorable?
Considering his snarkiness, Jacob actually COULD be a good match for Sarah. Heh.
This reminds me of a classic Penny Arcade strip:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/01/11
I hope it’s ok to post that, if not I deeply apologize. 😉