Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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a match made in genetics
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June 22, 2026

Perfect for each other

by David M Willis on June 30, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Answers in Hennessy
└ Tags: ethan, jacob, joyce

Discussion (204) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Axel
    Axel
    June 30, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    You’re killing me, Joyce.

    • Ragnal
      Ragnal
      June 30, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      YOO AH TEHHING ME APAHT, JOYCE!

      • andiemus
        andiemus
        June 30, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

        I’M FED AUP WITH THIS WULD!

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          June 30, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

          …..Jesus?

          • Yarrr
            Yarrr
            June 30, 2013 at 8:16 am | #

            win

        • MMX2
          MMX2
          June 30, 2013 at 4:44 am | #

          O hai Mark.

          • A
            A
            July 4, 2013 at 11:19 pm | #

            WHAT DRUGS DENNY! WHAT DRUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          June 30, 2013 at 5:07 am | #

          AH DID NUT HIT HUR, AH DID NAHT.

        • Chronos
          Chronos
          June 30, 2013 at 8:42 am | #

          oh, Hai Jacob!

      • Gold
        Gold
        June 30, 2013 at 3:45 pm | #

        For a second there I thought you were all trying to talk in Ebonics.

        • ironballs16
          ironballs16
          October 17, 2013 at 10:13 am | #

          I think ebonics (or even the old Jive talk from “Airplane!”) is FAR more comprehensible than that accent.

      • Aisling
        Aisling
        June 6, 2015 at 11:09 pm | #

        i almost spit water on my phone at that reference

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      June 30, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Quick, arrest her for murder.

      • Boom
        Boom
        June 30, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Actually it’d be attempted murder since she was caught in the act.

  2. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 30, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Oh Joyce, what will we ever do with you?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 30, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Trade her in for a less defective model? 😀

      • Boom
        Boom
        June 30, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        Is a retrofit also a possibility?

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        June 30, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        The developers are working on a patch.

        Honest.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 30, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

          Of the nicotine kind now doubt.

          • Boom
            Boom
            June 30, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

            Don’t be silly. The only thing Joyce is addicted to is the love of Jesus!

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              June 30, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

              When it comes to communion wine and wavers, once you pop, you cannot stop.

              • Boom
                Boom
                June 30, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

                What denomination is Joyce?

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  June 30, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

                  Nun-denominationial IIRC.

                • tahrey
                  tahrey
                  July 1, 2013 at 4:17 am | #

                  Seventh day advent-hoppist.

              • VMtheCoyote
                VMtheCoyote
                June 30, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

                Get thee far from me, papist heretic!
                [/Joyce]

              • Ivan
                Ivan
                June 30, 2013 at 5:16 pm | #

                I’d be a great Messiah.

                “This is my body. Sit on this appendage. This is not my blood. No… don’t ask, just do what I tell you!”

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        June 30, 2013 at 12:59 pm | #

        She’s been damaged too much.
        Trade her in for a less-been model.

        • Flushmaster
          Flushmaster
          June 30, 2013 at 1:08 pm | #

          What about a les-bian model? Preferably with an on-board camera. What’s the markup on that one?

  3. SUGauthor
    SUGauthor
    June 30, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    One of these days she’ll run it through her head before she says it out loud.

    • ALLxISxGONE
      ALLxISxGONE
      June 30, 2013 at 2:29 am | #

      When will that be? 10 or 20 years from now?

      • Shariku Onikage
        Shariku Onikage
        June 30, 2013 at 6:30 am | #

        No.

        No it will not.

        • Ragnal
          Ragnal
          June 30, 2013 at 10:57 am | #

          So we’re looking at less time, then…?

  4. The Sound Defense
    The Sound Defense
    June 30, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    This is what happens when you don’t grow up around minorities; when you meet one you have no idea how to interact.

    • Raibean
      Raibean
      June 30, 2013 at 3:56 am | #

      Trust me, white kids from diverse neighborhoods say plenty of racist shit without realizing it.

      • MichaelHaneline
        MichaelHaneline
        June 30, 2013 at 4:44 pm | #

        Trust me, kids from diverse neighborhoods say plenty of racist shit without realizing it.

        • Flakes
          Flakes
          June 30, 2013 at 7:51 pm | #

          Yeah but it’s two different types of racism:

          Kids from homogeneous neighborhoods learn the stereotypes without seeing what the people they are applied to are really like, while kids from diverse neighborhoods see the behaviors that caused the stereotypes as “normal” and don’t realize it’s inappropriate to generalize them to other people.

        • Icalasari
          Icalasari
          June 30, 2013 at 11:06 pm | #

          Trust me, people say plenty of racist shit without realizing it

          • AsimovSideburns
            AsimovSideburns
            June 30, 2013 at 11:17 pm | #

            Trust me, kids say plenty of racist shit.

            • Gordon Blvd
              Gordon Blvd
              July 1, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

              win

        • Shilo
          Shilo
          July 1, 2013 at 5:48 pm | #

          . . . you just had to get in their and defend those poor white people, huh? :/

      • tahrey
        tahrey
        July 1, 2013 at 4:18 am | #

        I’ve been there, I was that solider. As well as ableist and probably sexist to boot.

        It’s something you can grow out of, but it does require some self awareness and you end up always second guessing yourself…

  5. ASmellyOgre
    ASmellyOgre
    June 30, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Oh, Joyce. Joycey Joyce.

    Joycey Joycey Joycey Joyce.

    I forgot what I was going to say because that is just too much fun.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 30, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

      Rejoycing I see.

      • Resne
        Resne
        June 30, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

        She needs a de-joycing if you ask me.

        • Chronos
          Chronos
          June 30, 2013 at 8:45 am | #

          A Joyce-ing machine would work best, to remove it from the pulp.

          • Ivan
            Ivan
            June 30, 2013 at 5:20 pm | #

            Pulp? Like this @ Octo Pie? http://bit.ly/11WPgRR

        • Sarpiedon
          Sarpiedon
          June 30, 2013 at 2:20 pm | #

          A good joe-ing would fik all her ills.

  6. Aizat
    Aizat
    June 30, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Hey, at least she didn’t start with a racial slur or something offensive.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      June 30, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Always remember, it could be worse.

      • Boom
        Boom
        June 30, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

        She could have set him on fire with her lust-fuelled stare.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          June 30, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

          Maybe he set off the fire alarm, with his SMOKIN’ HOT BODY.

          …I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at my pun.

          • Boom
            Boom
            June 30, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

            Option C: defending yourself from a class action lawsuit for the pain and suffering that pun has caused.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            June 30, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

            Is it hot enough to have a BBQ on it?

            • Kernanator
              Kernanator
              June 30, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

              Crack open an egg on his abs. That shit will SIZZLE.

              • Mrelegos
                Mrelegos
                June 30, 2013 at 5:58 am | #

                Just don’t try that on Walky’s sister. You’ll get SALmonella!

        • Luzahn
          Luzahn
          June 30, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          Now now, we all know that Joyce’s lack of a lust-fuelled stare for Jacob means that she only lusts for Sal.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 30, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

            Sal’s motorbike.

            FIXED!

            • Boom
              Boom
              June 30, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

              Caramel.

              RE-FIXED!

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        June 30, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

        She could have said ‘No wonder Ethan’s gay.’

    • Sporky
      Sporky
      June 30, 2013 at 2:20 am | #

      she kinda did start with something offensive

      thats the point

  7. Boom
    Boom
    June 30, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Five minutes Joyce! That’s all we’re asking of you! Just five minutes where you don’t stick your foot in your mouth! Metaphorically. If you did it literally that’d be kind’f hot.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      June 30, 2013 at 1:53 am | #

      Kinda nasty, really. Foot doesn’t taste good…….I expect.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        June 30, 2013 at 6:05 am | #

        Incredibly nasty. Feet are gross.

        • Makkabee
          Makkabee
          June 30, 2013 at 8:59 am | #

          What if she washed them first?

          • FlyingFish
            FlyingFish
            June 30, 2013 at 6:39 pm | #

            Hey, she should be all about washing feet, right?

            • sidhe3141
              sidhe3141
              June 30, 2013 at 9:18 pm | #

              And before she can wash feet, she has to uncover them…
              Oh wait we’re talking about HER OWN feet. Somehow that’s not quite as hot.

      • tahrey
        tahrey
        July 1, 2013 at 4:19 am | #

        Only because you (we?) go around barefoot all the time.

        Nice fresh socks, pair of odor-eaters in the shoes, shower every morning giving them a quick scrub… and it’s just skin, yknow?

  8. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 30, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    I was trying to figure out why Joyce is acting the way she does, until I remembered who Joyce’s room-mate was.

    • Boom
      Boom
      June 30, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 30, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        For a few seconds, I thought Joyce’s room-mate was either Dotty, Dina or Sierra.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          June 30, 2013 at 6:07 am | #

          I had the same problem, except my first thought was:

          “Billie? Well, she’s looking out for a friend at least! Wait. She’s not rooming with Billie… Who’s she rooming with agai- Oh. Oh… *facepalm* Really, Joyce? Just because Jacob and Sarah are both black? Really?!”

          • ender1200
            ender1200
            June 30, 2013 at 12:50 pm | #

            Had the same reaction. For some reason i remembered she was billies roommate.

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            June 21, 2015 at 9:03 am | #

            Same. It didn’t strike me until after I saw Joyce’s realization.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      June 30, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      You mean, BILLIE?

      • Blue
        Blue
        June 30, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        It wasn’t until now that I realised her roommate isn’t Billie.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 30, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          Room-mates:
          Billie and Sal
          Joyce and Sarah
          Dotty and Sierra
          Amber and Dina

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          June 30, 2013 at 1:36 am | #

          They share a half-bathroom, so they kinda are.

          • Lawzlo
            Lawzlo
            June 30, 2013 at 2:11 am | #

            I think that just makes them half-of-a-bathroom-mates, which is totally a phrase that exists in language.

            • Chronos
              Chronos
              June 30, 2013 at 8:49 am | #

              “Suitemate” is probably the word you’re looking for.

              • Erika Hammerschmidt
                Erika Hammerschmidt
                July 1, 2013 at 8:49 pm | #

                The first time I heard that word I thought it was “sweet mate,” which was very confusing in the context.

  9. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    June 30, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    [Insert Picard-facepalm image here.]

    • Boom
      Boom
      June 30, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      [Jackie Chan WTF Image Counter]

      • andiemus
        andiemus
        June 30, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

        [David Silverman AREYOUSERIOUS face]

        • Doctor Lantern
          Doctor Lantern
          June 30, 2013 at 4:47 am | #

          [David Willis Troll Face here]

          • Josh
            Josh
            June 30, 2013 at 8:32 am | #

            [Damn you Willis rageface here]

            • Makkabee
              Makkabee
              June 30, 2013 at 9:00 am | #

              [this face intentionally left blank]

              • xKiv
                xKiv
                June 30, 2013 at 1:17 pm | #

                [carface]

  10. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    June 30, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Poor Joyce, remembering for a fact that Sarah is, in fact, a grump, and would not be perfect for a guy that she knows for all of three seconds.

    …Betcha thought you knew where I was going with this. THE JOKE IS ON YOU!

    • Boom
      Boom
      June 30, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Get it off, get it off, get it off! I’m allergic to jokes! Aaaaaah!

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        June 30, 2013 at 1:54 am | #

        Quick! Use this Epi-pen!

  11. Shadowcthuhlu
    Shadowcthuhlu
    June 30, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    What Joyce meant to say: “You’re perfect for me. Abs.”

  12. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    June 30, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    I ♥ Jacob’s response.

  13. Boom
    Boom
    June 30, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Now, Jacob… take off your shirt. Take of your shirt! Do it. Do it, do it, do it!

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      June 30, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

      His is the type that will do anything a woman wants.

      • Boom
        Boom
        June 30, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

        SHOW ME YOUR NIPPLES, JACOB!

  14. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 30, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Jacob/Dina, Moe Couplet.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      June 30, 2013 at 9:43 am | #

      Darn it, PM, you gotta put a TVTropes Link Warning on that shit!

  15. Nena
    Nena
    June 30, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Joyce is so awkward, isn’t she? haha

  16. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    June 30, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

    Playing matchmaker is next to godliness.

  17. brionl
    brionl
    June 30, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    It’s OK, they probably already know each other anyway.
    What? What!?

    • Alexis
      Alexis
      June 30, 2013 at 5:42 am | #

      No, no, it’s fine.

      THOSE people ALWAYS know each other.

      You know. Sophomores.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 30, 2013 at 1:10 pm | #

        Do we know if Jacob’s a sophomore, actually?

  18. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 30, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

    Gotta ask, is there a significant number of blacks going to IU or are they a tiny proportion of the student population?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 30, 2013 at 1:38 am | #

      I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to refer to them as just ‘blacks’.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        June 30, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

        People of a descent that gives their epidermal layer a naturally dark skin tone is a bit of a mouthful.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 30, 2013 at 2:47 am | #

        I could have also chosen the term “of African decent” but I used black cos for most part, almost everyone knows what someone means when you use the word black in a racial sense, the same way when you hear the word white you think “of Europeon decent” or possibly “of NW Europeon decent”.

    • Chrissy
      Chrissy
      June 30, 2013 at 1:57 am | #

      Yeah, “black people” is more accepted than “blacks” because referring to people with a summarizing identifying descriptor is kind of dehumanizing, since people are all multifaceted and more than any one descriptor can capture. The race breakdown of IU according to “college prowler”:
      African American 4%
      Asian 4%
      Hispanic 3%
      International 9%
      Native American 0%
      White 77%
      Unknown 1%
      Historically Black College/University? No
      Tribal College? No
      Out-of-State Students 38%

      • Chrissy
        Chrissy
        June 30, 2013 at 2:11 am | #

        Also, to put it in context, in 2011 the US census bureau estimated 13.1% of Americans identified as African American compared to 9.4% of Hoosiers.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 30, 2013 at 3:08 am | #

          I also heard somewhere that in America if you, your parents or grandparents came from Africa, you are clearly African-American, if your family has lived in the US since at least the 18th century, you’re Black.

          I’m not sure if there is any point in a distiction like this unless “African-Americans” see themselves as different from “Blacks”.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            June 30, 2013 at 3:55 am | #

            The issue is the way you’re saying it. It’s ‘black people’ not ‘blacks’.

            • DarkVeghetta
              DarkVeghetta
              June 21, 2015 at 9:12 am | #

              ‘white people’ sounds terrible, I’d rather be called ‘white’. In the interest of equality, I’m using ‘black’. If subject of sed descriptor has a problem with it, he’s welcome to forward another term he personally agrees with more.

          • Buckybone
            Buckybone
            June 30, 2013 at 4:48 am | #

            Most black people prefer “African-American”, as if they don’t think they should be fully American.

            • Makkabee
              Makkabee
              June 30, 2013 at 9:12 am | #

              Um… no. That’s not the reason.

              (At least not in the vast majority of cases. Unwise to speak in absolutes, particularly when you’re dealing with c. 40 million people)

              But seriously, why do you think African Americans don’t think they should be fully American? Also, if (while in the USA) you see a “kiss me, I’m Irish” t-shirt do you assume the person wearing it is saying s/he isn’t American at all?

            • David
              David M Willis
              June 30, 2013 at 10:51 am | #

              wtf dude

              i guess someone was bound to out-racist joyce in today’s comments but damn

              • Ivan
                Ivan
                June 30, 2013 at 6:20 pm | #

                hey people… next time you visit IU, drive north a few hours to Gary.

                Try 1 block off 5th & Broadway. At 1am. Report back if you live. Murder cap of USA, many, many times.

                Per Cap – per cap.

                • Kitrona
                  Kitrona
                  August 15, 2013 at 4:43 pm | #

                  … seriously? I’ve driven through Gary at 1 am and later lots of times, and I’m so white I glow in the dark. I have yet to be shot. Or maimed. Or murdered, etc.

                  Also, it’s not “a few hours” from Bloomington to Gary. Closer to 5 or 6.

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  June 21, 2015 at 9:22 am | #

                  ^ obviously, your car looks too cheap. Or not redneck enough.

          • Blur
            Blur
            June 30, 2013 at 11:14 am | #

            Down where I live the term African-American will get you dirty stares from a lot of black people. I was partly raised by a black family and the father once told me that the term African-American sounded too much like something said by someone scared to call him what he is. Black.

            But that doesn’t seem to be the case in other parts of the country. So it really depends.

            • Love is Mathematical
              Love is Mathematical
              June 30, 2013 at 1:17 pm | #

              In some regions of Europe the preferred term is “brown” (not necessarily the English word for brown).

              My Jamaican boss likes referring the kids we work with according to their true colors: chocolate, caramel, peachy-cream, pepperoni.

              Yes, my Jamaican boss in Europe.

              • Marcos Dantas
                Marcos Dantas
                July 1, 2013 at 11:52 am | #

                Hummmm, a delicious workplace …

              • LiamKav
                LiamKav
                July 1, 2013 at 8:42 pm | #

                What parts? It certainly doesn’t apply in the UK, where you’d want to use the term “black people” rather than “blacks”, and (just FYI) “gay people” rather than “gays”.

                (Obviously, calling a black British guy “African-American” would just be weird.)

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  June 21, 2015 at 9:21 am | #

                  So, ‘white/black people’ would be the plural for ‘black/white’ as well as for ‘black/white person’? I -sort- of get it, but this is pretty inane PC-ism. There’s a reason why it’s ‘Brits’, not ‘British people’ in common parlance.

              • DarkVeghetta
                DarkVeghetta
                June 21, 2015 at 9:16 am | #

                peachy-cream? pepperoni? I have zero idea what ethnicities must have been involved to create those colors.

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  June 21, 2015 at 9:23 am | #

                  Wait… why are all of those also innuendo?

      • Lawzlo
        Lawzlo
        June 30, 2013 at 2:13 am | #

        I hope that the “unknown” 1% are Native Americans, otherwise that statistic is kinda depressing.

        • Lawzlo
          Lawzlo
          June 30, 2013 at 2:14 am | #

          Well, it would still be kinda depressing, but still…

      • Dhirik
        Dhirik
        June 30, 2013 at 3:07 am | #

        Oddly enough, it gets a little more subtle (at least judging from an average of mainstream media articles I read).
        “Blacks” is used as a subject frequently, and I rarely see people offended.

        For instance, “Blacks/hispanics voted predominantly for…. in that election”
        When preceded by an article, it sounds loads worse to the ear, and people react. e.g. “…for the blacks…”. Even “…for blacks…” sounds almost as bad.

        I know to my ear the latter two sound worse; I’m going to guess it’s a matter of agency within the sentence that’s led to that usage, but it definitely isn’t intuitive a priori.

      • Andrew_C
        Andrew_C
        June 30, 2013 at 10:04 am | #

        I always put my race as “Other” on forms that ask for it. I understand why they ask, but I grew up in Apartheid South Africa and remember all the forms that asked that there for very different reasons and am just glad most forms here give you the option of “Other”.

  19. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    June 30, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

    I don’t get why this is difficult. Sure, even if she did say it purely out of racial motivations, it shouldn’t be too hard to give a basic description of Sarah’s personality.

    Ya know. Cyncial. Grumpy. Fond of baseball bats.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 30, 2013 at 1:39 am | #

      The problem is likely because she has no reason to think they’d be a good couple. It’s not like Sarah’s a body builder or has displayed an interest in muscle guys so she has nowhere to go but stick her foot in her mouth.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      June 30, 2013 at 9:51 am | #

      I like to think that in panel 3, something like this is going through Joyce’s mind:

      “Yikes, you can’t just say “black!” Describe her personality! No, wait, don’t describe her personality! Maybe go with hobbies? What’s she into? Studying? Oh geez I really did not think this through”

      • bunivasal
        bunivasal
        July 1, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

        In the inevitable Dumbing of Age cartoon, can we get Zach Braff to provide Joyce’s inner monologue?

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          June 21, 2015 at 9:26 am | #

          YES. ALL OF MY YES.

    • Reepicheep-chan
      Reepicheep-chan
      July 1, 2013 at 2:16 pm | #

      I think mostly she started saying a thing without realizing how terrible it was and then she realized how terrible it was and got all flustered. Joyce is not intentionally awful, after all, just ignorant as hell.

  20. K
    K
    June 30, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

    Jacob kind of creeps me out. Just his face. It’s like a freaky… goldfish face. Or something. I can’t explain it.

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 9:29 am | #

      It’s his LIPS. Hence ‘goldfish face’. They’re orange… nothing else is (as far as we can see bow chika bow wow). Hmm… his face is somewhat too round as well. Ya’ know, the more I look at him the creepier he gets. I think I’ll stop now.

  21. Jetstream
    Jetstream
    June 30, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

    Damn girl, that foot in mouth disease is gonna get fatal soon. Engage brain before mouth, dear.

  22. Ben
    Ben
    June 30, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

    Dang it Joyce… I try to be on your side (or at least understand it), i really do, but you can’t just /do/ things like that…

    • Ben
      Ben
      June 30, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

      ^^ ironic pic for my thing…

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 30, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

      At least this time she didn’t call him a novelty.

  23. Bearfuz
    Bearfuz
    June 30, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

    Joyce might grow up to be Paula Deen. Just sayin’.

    • DSL
      DSL
      June 30, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

      Promoting an unhealthy diet while hiding the fact she’s on a drug as a result of a condition promoted by that diet, while clandestinely taking money from a company that makes that drug?

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        June 30, 2013 at 6:13 am | #

        Nah, just a cholesterol-filled accidental racist whose arteries are so clogged that not enough blood gets to her brain for her to think before she speaks.

        I’m not saying what Paula Deen did was acceptable or right, I’m just saying that if your brain had more cholesterol than blood, you’d say stupid shit that you grew up with, too.

        I don’t think she meant to be racist, per se, but she was racist, and she deserves all the negative attention she’s getting for it.

        • Li
          Li
          June 30, 2013 at 10:07 am | #

          I think she completely meant to be racist. She just didn’t mean to get in trouble for it.

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          June 21, 2015 at 9:33 am | #

          Not really ALL of it. She’s just not used to different people. Like nudists. I could conceivably say something similar to a nudist regarding another nudist JUST because they’re nudists. Horrible, I know.

  24. Mr. Torgue
    Mr. Torgue
    June 30, 2013 at 2:08 am | #

    Jacob totally looks like a Goron.

  25. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    June 30, 2013 at 2:32 am | #

    Joyce tries, she just doesn’t put brain in gear before she engages mouth.
    And if NOT correct to call African descended people ‘just’ blacks, why is it okay to call caucasions people (sp?) ‘just’ white. Just askin?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 30, 2013 at 2:51 am | #

      Personally it doesn’t bother me to be refered to as white, even though that due to having some Spanish blood, I might be classed as part Latino, a term I don’t really hear outside of American TV shows.

    • Hoboturtle
      Hoboturtle
      June 30, 2013 at 3:09 am | #

      I think it has to do with how you say it if anything. Saying someone is white or black isn’t offensive. But calling a group of people just their ethnic is weird. Saying, “look at that group of white people” sounds better then look at those whites”. “People” being the keyword that makes it okay cause that says “people who just so happen to be this way”. I personally would be confused if I and my family was referred to as ‘blacks”, cause that sounds like an Overlord minion type.

      The alternative is that white people are never really referred to by people by their ethnicity. When you see someone who is white, you usually just say, “that guy”. When you see a person who’s black, “you usually say that black guy”. White being treated as the norm and so minorities are allow to make fun of them.

      If someone prefers to be called “african-american” as suppose to “black”? I have no idea. I’m a black guy. I grew up in new york, not much African about me (hell my family is Caribbean-american if anything).

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        June 21, 2015 at 9:42 am | #

        To be fair, white -is- the norm in the US and Europe, while black is the norm in Africa. Eskimo’s the norm where your dick freezes off when you pee.
        For clarity people tend to attach small descriptors if they’re simple to use. Black/white’s pretty handy if sed group is a minority, not so much if mostly everyone’s that way. Also we’re very visual apes – if everyone would be wearing top-hats I’d wager ‘dapper’ would be used in place of any racial distinction.
        …
        What I’m trying to say is that verbal racial tensions can be diffused by wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. Extra points for a monocle.

    • Dhirik
      Dhirik
      June 30, 2013 at 3:19 am | #

      Honestly, I think it almost purely because using a phrase like “the blacks” or “those Hispanics” has been such a constant feature of racist commentary on minority groups. The kind of thing an old racist grandma would say. That phrasing gets tainted and people react because it’s reminiscent. When you use the same word in a way that doesn’t resonate with that language, it usually doesn’t bother people.

      And because you just don’t hear about “those whites”, that phrasing doesn’t really set people off.

      Anyway, just because the reaction is inconsistent doesn’t make that reaction less real, so I usually figure there’s no reason to prod people.

    • Li
      Li
      June 30, 2013 at 10:10 am | #

      Because white people have zero racial tension behind them and don’t care what they’re called. Seriously. Racially-charged names cannot hurt us because there is no power behind them, no oppression there, nothing.

      Find me a white person who is actually offended by “cracker”, for example, and I’ll find you someone who just thinks they should be able to say the N-word with impunity and that it’s really unfair that we have a Black History Month but don’t have a White History Month. Someone with no sense of context or scale, in other words.

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        June 30, 2013 at 1:44 pm | #

        Unrelated, but I probably *would* be offended by being called cracker. I do not crack software.
        I might qualify for being called hacker though. I had to hack my way around some seriously convoluted code. But I do not even begin to compare to the greats.

      • Reepicheep-chan
        Reepicheep-chan
        July 1, 2013 at 2:21 pm | #

        This. I do not give any shits if people wanna get down on me cause of my race b/c at the end of the day I still have my white people privileges and no amount of name calling is gonna change that. On the other hand I hate hate HATE when people whip out the sexist slurs like ‘c’mon guys being a lady is already hard as balls why you gotta be like that?’

        In any case as a white person I get to make the call on what is or is not offense to white people, I do not get to make the call for people of other elasticities; if someone of color is offended by a thing then I just gotta accept that and not be a dick about it. It is called ‘not being a dick’.

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          June 21, 2015 at 9:55 am | #

          Yet sometimes poking fun at old wounds is therapeutic for everyone involved.
          Words only have power in a context and the day the old slurs stop being taken seriously will be a good day for equality. I won’t call a black person the N-word because that’s just not cool, I will however call my very white friends that and myself as well since it mocks the term itself therefor taking away it’s symbolic power/place and replacing it with a lighter tone.
          On some parts of the Internet this is common parlance, and incidentally it is on those parts that the word isn’t offensive to anyone anymore because everyone knows it’s only used as a joke – much like ‘your mom with my penis for a nickel’ has lost all pejorative meaning around here or ‘fag’ just means ‘user’ on 4-chan.
          Hopefully such practices spread past the Internet eventually and sad, offensive words loose their original meaning, thus taking some wind out of that still-lingering racial tension.

    • AHR
      AHR
      June 30, 2013 at 3:00 pm | #

      In terms of being correct/incorrect, it really depends on the person. :/. I know some people who saw the term “black” as really offensive, and others who saw it as just a term (both of these coming from someone who could fall under said description). Soooo…yeah, it’s the type of thing I just pay attention to and see if I cause any twitches by saying it.

  26. Twirls
    Twirls
    June 30, 2013 at 3:19 am | #

    I’m actually intrigued as to how Sarah and Jacob would interract now because Javob seems pretty nice and Sarah is perpetually grumpy. But, yeah, count me in the number who forgot for a second that Joyce’s roommate wasn’t Billie.

    • Darchias
      Darchias
      June 30, 2013 at 3:27 am | #

      They seem to share an affinity for snarking at Joyce, at least.

    • randonimity
      randonimity
      June 30, 2013 at 6:59 am | #

      I am too. Jacob has always struck me as personable.

    • Marcos Dantas
      Marcos Dantas
      July 1, 2013 at 11:59 am | #

      Sarah wouldn’t be grumpy anymore after being jacobed. Jacob would jacob the grumpy out of her.

  27. vuragado
    vuragado
    June 30, 2013 at 3:32 am | #

    Nice. Just nice Joyce.

  28. Raibean
    Raibean
    June 30, 2013 at 3:46 am | #

    I bet there are like 5 black women at this university and Jacob has been set up with all of them. Let’s remember we’re not even a month into school yet.

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

      To be fair, humans tend to be more sexually attracted to our own racial groups, by and large. Social change has somewhat diluted this, but it’s really not -quite- as racist as everyone seems to think it is. Now, saying it as the first thing after you meet him… yeah.
      That sed, I’d be very interested in getting a black/Asian/Indian girlfriend one of these days and I’m pretty damn white if I don’t do enough farm work.
      Ok, so maybe it is as racist as it sounds like. Still, this is Joyce damnit! New and unfamiliar with the setting’s social interactions is still a valid excuse here.

  29. Jenny Creed
    Jenny Creed
    June 30, 2013 at 4:18 am | #

    Hello second black person I’ve ever seen! Have you seen the other black person? You should have so much in common since you’re both black!

    Thor’s beard, Joyce, even you should be able to figure out that just because you know two black people doesn’t mean there are only two black people.

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      June 30, 2013 at 4:35 am | #

      We’re probably lucky she’s not calling Jacob a son of Ham and demanding he be put to slave work, on reflection.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        June 30, 2013 at 6:20 am | #

        Hey, to be fair, he’s the FIFTH black person she’s met (remember Sierra?) if we count the mixed-race nature of Walky and Sal. She just knows that Sal’s got her own thing going on. And points for her to not immediately follow that up by suggesting Sierra.

        She knows that Sarah’s grumpy and feels alone, so despite the incredibly racist implication that she and Jacob would be a good match just because they’re both black, she’s still kinda looking out for her roomate.

        She should really try to get Sarah and Mike together, though. I’d LOVE to see them on at least one date.

        • Notebooked
          Notebooked
          June 30, 2013 at 8:06 am | #

          I didn’t even consider that angle, especially since their last conversation was Joyce saying she’s made friends with her risk-taking while Sarah’s still alone. Good catch!

          And good lord, Sarah and Mike. I can’t even imagine the consequences.

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            June 21, 2015 at 10:09 am | #

            All aboard the SaraxMike, next destination: DOOM! HORROR! JAYWALKING!

        • Jenny Creed
          Jenny Creed
          June 30, 2013 at 8:11 am | #

          I did not remember, though now I’m happy Joyce didn’t assume Jacob was Sarah’s brother.

          And, I could buy she’s looking out for Sarah if we had seen her trying to find her dates before, or if it had been established Sarah is looking for dates within her own skin tone spectrum. . .actually, looking for dates at all. But I really don’t think Joyce looked any further than “Hey these people have the same unusual skin color and compatible genitals, they must be made for each other”, and hey, it looks like even she realizes she goofed up when Jacob starts talking and she’s reminded that he’s a person.

    • Alex Stritar
      Alex Stritar
      June 30, 2013 at 3:19 pm | #

      Hasn’t Joyce already me Sierra? Only reason she hasn’t set her up with with Sarah is because she’s still in her ‘homosexuality is a sin’ phase.

  30. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    June 30, 2013 at 5:26 am | #

    Joyce just can’t get a break today XDXDXDXD

  31. Kaci
    Kaci
    June 30, 2013 at 6:21 am | #

    no Roadblock poster?

  32. skillions
    skillions
    June 30, 2013 at 6:50 am | #

    yo but seriously they would be super perfect for each other

  33. KB_SBI
    KB_SBI
    June 30, 2013 at 7:32 am | #

    I would have punched her in the throat. There’s nothing worse than white people who think that you’re automatically best buds with every other person who’s a similar shade of brown.

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 10:10 am | #

      Except ya know… genocide n’ Hitler. Also Pol Pot and Twilight.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        June 21, 2015 at 10:11 am | #

        Also my penis in your mother. Wait, since this is me replying to myself, would that make it incest? Huh, well suppose for some that’s pretty terrible too.

  34. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    June 30, 2013 at 7:58 am | #

    “No, no, no, she’s just an angry misanthrope who doesn’t want anything to do with the social scene, which seems like…your…type?”

    Joyceus.

  35. RJF
    RJF
    June 30, 2013 at 9:09 am | #

    I dunno, this page seems more of a stereotype than an actual credible character moment. I get that “Dumbing of Age” is a comedy so we need to embarrass people and make jokes, but I don’t recall any previous incident where Joyce has been particularly insensitive about colour so for her to suddenly blurt this out seems odd.

    • OnarReshana
      OnarReshana
      June 30, 2013 at 9:51 am | #

      Well, I’d have to go back through the series to give you exact pages, but Joyce has always had a tendency to blurt out potentially racist statements due to having lived sheltered from most of the world. It’s not that she means to…just she doesn’t think things through before she says them. I recall her calling Billie Mexican at one point

    • kujazlilmage
      kujazlilmage
      June 30, 2013 at 10:09 am | #

      Wasn’t there an incident before where she was talking about Sarah with Becky and essentially went on about “So yeah I have a BLACK roommate she’s BLACK like I’ve never roomed with a BLACK girl before do I call her my SISTER or are only BLACK people allowed to do that?”

      And Sarah was standing RIGHT THERE, so…yeah. This kind of thoughtless blabbing isn’t new from Joyce. The difference is she at least seems to be aware (if only a little bit) about how some of the things she says are unacceptable.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      June 30, 2013 at 10:11 am | #

      Here, I can help.

      Sisters: regarding Sarah
      Mixed: regarding Billie
      David: regarding Walky

      This kind of thing is, admittedly, not a super-frequent occurrence for Joyce, but it happens.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        June 30, 2013 at 9:35 pm | #

        I beg to differ: if you consider the fact that the strip’s covered maybe 3 weeks of time, it’s pretty frequent…

    • Greenygal
      Greenygal
      June 30, 2013 at 10:15 am | #

      This strip establishes both that Joyce has spent her life surrounded entirely by white people and that she’s liable to say dumb things because of it. (I feel like there are others, but this is the one I remember.)

      • John
        John
        June 30, 2013 at 12:57 pm | #

        This one and the next, too.

    • AHR
      AHR
      June 30, 2013 at 3:02 pm | #

      On Jacob’s end, it seems pretty common. He gets a bit snarky about this stuff, judging from Shortpacked.

  36. sumolegend
    sumolegend
    June 30, 2013 at 10:25 am | #

    “She’s got a great personality!”

  37. Chubsius
    Chubsius
    June 30, 2013 at 11:02 am | #

    Somehow, I think a shortpacked!, sex-addict version of Jacob would be more “perfect” for Joyce than Ethan. I’m shipping Joyce/Jacob now because I think he’s the straight guy who take her the most out of her comfort zone. Plus, an Ethan/Jacob/Joyce love triangle? Epic.

    Fanart, commence fufilling my dreams and fantasies.

    • Whittier
      Whittier
      June 30, 2013 at 2:50 pm | #

      This is fantastic all around.

  38. Historyman68
    Historyman68
    June 30, 2013 at 12:25 pm | #

    Aw up until the last panel he’s still giving her the benefit of the doubt.

  39. Ellie
    Ellie
    June 30, 2013 at 12:37 pm | #

    and he’s so excited in the second panel. like he thinks she’s about to mention her roommate’s really into fitness or something and then nooooope.

  40. ArkhamTexan
    ArkhamTexan
    June 30, 2013 at 2:03 pm | #

    Joyce, you’re just so damn adorable sometimes! A lot of the time, actually.

  41. Vree
    Vree
    June 30, 2013 at 3:44 pm | #

    Hey! You can’t say “white kids”! That’s racist!

  42. DARKFIRE32
    DARKFIRE32
    June 30, 2013 at 5:00 pm | #

    someone needs the magic “restart” button

  43. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    June 30, 2013 at 6:28 pm | #

    SUDDENLY EYEBROWS

  44. Honor
    Honor
    June 30, 2013 at 6:39 pm | #

    Poor Joyce always making bad first impressions.

  45. NightmareWarden
    NightmareWarden
    June 30, 2013 at 8:02 pm | #

    Poor Ethan. He has so much awkward in his life already and then Joyce has to go and “Joyce-it-up” even more!

  46. ALLxISxGONE
    ALLxISxGONE
    June 30, 2013 at 8:12 pm | #

    Just noticed this but not one webcomic iv read has ever made a beatlejuice reference… kind of expect it from this one though

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 10:26 am | #

      Comment section made a few in previous pages.

  47. Ross V
    Ross V
    June 30, 2013 at 9:54 pm | #

    I thought she was talking about Sal at first, and was like “…But isn’t she boning up on her math skills?”

  48. DiDi
    DiDi
    July 1, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Aww… she’s doing the whole ‘they should be together because they’re the same race’ thing. That is sadly adorable.

  49. Gordon Blvd
    Gordon Blvd
    July 1, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

    “That is sadly adorable.”……………………………..that quote is SUCH A WIN! 🙂

  50. Griffin
    Griffin
    July 1, 2013 at 9:23 pm | #

    So Jacob is officially voiced by Phil Lamarr in my head now. He probably always should have been.

  51. CrazyPete
    CrazyPete
    July 5, 2013 at 4:38 pm | #

    Thar be a lot of racist bullshit here matees

  52. SgtNumnum
    SgtNumnum
    October 14, 2013 at 8:58 am | #

    Bayformers poster? racism? This strip has problems all over it!

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