… though I feel like “fuckin’ introducing” them would be skippin’ a few steps. Oo
In my head, because you are both Sarah-gravatars, this is her internal debate on the matter.
And now it’s a threesome.
And that sounds exactly like something Joe (especially with the expression on your grav) would say.
A comment chain composed of nothing but perfect gravs. (Except mine, now.)
I dunno…*I* wasn’t expecting it.
Nobody expects a chain of perfect gravs!
A person Sarah doesn’t hate!
Her lady boner is over powering her misery.
yeah, but just wait, soon he’ll start dating raidah and she’ll get a colossal MISERY GIRL BONER!!!!
Doesn’t hate enough.
“What other hot guys have you been hiding from me?!”
Joyce is like a hot dude magnet. She just doesn’t realize it.
Joyce once met a guy who accidentally set himself on fire.
I am tired and unfunny tonight.
Gold star for effort though.
Why am I getting myself for effort?
It’s not a reward, ‘s why.
To clarify, lest that come across too harsh: You got something from Mike. THIS IS NEVER A GOOD THING.
Holy crape, I didn’t even notice that was your name.
We all still love you
So, basically, a gender-reversed version of this person I know, Sisko:
Knows way too many good-looking members of the opposite sex (and knows possible ways of courting said people), yet never does a single thing in pursuit.
Ben or Jake?
I can’t possibly imagine what that’s like.
“There this guy named Manny in my biology class, he seems nice.”
I’m beginnin’ ta think Sarah’s just a mite pent up…
She needs to release some of that sexual tension… if only Frank-N-Furter was around.
I’m pretty sure any encounter between Sarah and Frank-N-Furter would end with a baseball bat. And not the innuendo variety.
It can end with both. Honestly, I’d be surprised if it didn’t.
she could power a moon laser with that shit man
All that being cynical does not help you get laid, I’ll tell you what.
I don’t know about that; Mike manages to use it fairly effectively when he wants to.
Being a nice guy doesn’t help either.
Uh oh, here we go…
Sure it does. I mean I’m a nice guy and I’m still a virgin. But I’m sure other nice guys can tell you it worked out .
(actually I’m kind of a jerk but I used to be nice. I try to be nice)
“Being nice doesn’t help you get laid” is like “not flashing the interviewer doesn’t help you get a job.”
I mean, it definitely doesn’t hurt…
Like cold is the absence of heat, niceness is the absence of assholiness.
Right. And if the only thing going for you is “I’m not much of an asshole,” you might want to dial your expectations down a few notches.
It has little to do with being nice and more to do with being confident and secure in yourself, neither of which are usually present within the “stereotypical nice guy”.
It’s a combination of appearance, common interest, and dumb luck that powers relationships.
Probably why I don’t have many.
I know plenty of nice guys who have no trouble getting laid. So if you’re a nice guy who no one wants to have sex with, you might want to check in with your friends to find out how you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, the common denominator in your failed pursuits is you.
As a fairly amiable guy who, for entirely unrelated reasons, is appalling at teh romance, I can second this. It hurts less once you stop telling yourself some tragic tale of neglected virtue and start being matter-of-fact about the problem. Funny, that.
You’re also a lot more likely to be able to do something about it.
If someone believes that he’s a nice (although not amazingly hot) guy and women only sleep with amazingly hot assholes, there’s not much he can do about that. That assumption set will prompt him to view himself as a victim of circumstances entirely beyond his control.
If, on the other hand, he checks in with other people and learns that he is doing things that many women find off-putting (for example, giving strangers “compliments” on their body parts or approaching women who, through their body language, are telling the people around them that they do not want to be approached) then he can take steps to change some of his behaviors. And that might help.
Being a nice guy doesn’t help in the same way that a blank paper isn’t an essay. It’s the *baseline*. You wanna get laid, you gotta have something more about you that draws in the ladies. And that entitled feeling that merely being nice should be getting you some won’t be helpful.
Disclaimer: I am just guessing here, since I am a semi-nice guy who doesn’t get ladies, though I’m also not on the prowl, for reasons.
I’d argue that anyone who feels entitled to another person’s body really isn’t all that nice to begin with.
(Not disagreeing with you, by the way. Just wanted to add that.)
It’s annoying to hear guys complaining about not getting laid despite being nice or paying for dinner. That entitlement isn’t nice at all and it’s annoying when those guys claim to be “nice guys” and it’s the woman’s fault. It makes men in general look bad.
Really? Damn, I may have to rethink my personality.
Yup, good time to get out of that box.
“I’m beginnin’ ta think Sarah’s just a mite pent up…”
That noise you hear in the distance is me saying “Well, no duh” so loud it is carrying across the whole of creation. That, or an air raid siren. Duck and cover, people.
Yes, she badly needs an electronic boyfriend at a minimum, however, she is so pent up she would probably destroy it.
Joyce, you are a terrible wingman. Maybe Joe can teach a course.
But Joe is also a terrible wingman. Worst wingman ever as I recall.
No. He’s just trying to wingman for the worst bachelor ever!
Danny is a chick magnet for reasons only Willis understands. He needs no wingman.
Oh come on, you have to admit that Joe screwed up there. If it wasn’t true, Joe wouldn’t have been so hurt by it.
But Joe is a terrible wingman. If you ever went on a double date with him, His most likely course of action would be to leave with both girls for a threesome while you’re in the bathroom of whatever place you’re at.
He’d be a great wingman if you’re a girl *cough*threesome*cough*
Not sure that would be a good idea
The last known sighting of Danny with balls.
Nope, there was a time after that one where he made Dorothy pick between shoes for Walky or interviewing him about Amazi-Girl.
Honestly I think talking to Sal took balls. I don’t care if he believed that she was Amazigirl, she wasn’t exactly being inviting. (And as a side note, there are limits to how far you should believe what people tell you, even ones that are allegedly reporters who were known to be investigating this very subject.)
That depends on whether you believe there’s a difference between ballsiness and stupidity.
Of course there’s a difference; there’s a wide variety of stupidity that doesn’t require any balls at all.
Yay! Sarah plotline!
MORE SARAH! SARAH ALL THE TIME!
Dont look back we’ve drawn the line,
Its no good to go back in time,
Oh I would never find another girl like you,
For happy endings it takes two,
With fire and ice,
Storms are brewing in your eyes,
Now I can realize
You’re like a beauty queen
Glad to see Sarah’s priorities are straight.
͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I see what you did there.
DID YOU SEE HIS TANGERINE LIPS!? YOU KNOW I LOVE TANGERINES!!!
Joyce has been upgraded to wingman!
*Pokemon evolution theme plays*
“It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this…”
What, take this Hitachi Magic Wand?
No, this Joyce! Actually, take them both. Maybe they can get introduced…
“… Actually, now that I think about it, it’s even more dangerous to go alone with that, give it back.”
*stabs you and runs off with it*
*Joyce pressed B button because she doesn’t believe in evolution*
Maybe she needs an evolution stone… Everybody throw rocks at Joyce until she starts growing angel wings!
Hmm…If one character were to have a pet rock, who would it be?
Dina has a pet rock but it’s a complete dinosaur fossil.
Mega Evolution, or normal evolution? She could make a lovely Mega Absol.
You mean like Starscream?
Does that mean she’ll start YELLING at Sarah that she’s gonna betray her?
No it means that she’ll fail at most things in life and get killed by a blue pony with wings and a rainbow mullet
The latter seems oddly fitting.
One of my favotite videos on youtube
That was a thing of beauty.
Starscream VS Rainbow Dash
Sarah will response by repeatedly putting trust in Joyce, especially when Sarah transforms into a gun.
The question is — will Jacob respond by repeatedly putting thrust in Sarah?
Maybe just a Seeker for now. Baby steps.
Joycemon digivolve to…. Joycewingmon!
It was racist Joyce, the only reasoning you had was that they are black.
That said, if you actually find out anything about Jacob that Sarah would like, introduce them.
My first girlfriend was black because I felt pressured that I couldn’t have a white girlfriend or my mom would be disappointed.
To be honest I’m still impressed that I got a girlfriend at all! I’m lame.
Wow, that’s pretty messed up, dude. I’m sorry.
Well it’s not that bad. She was a really nice girl and We had a connection, definitely. I ended up dumping her cuz I’m stupid and have regretted it ever since. ‘ce la vi.
Sorry to have to do this to another like myself, but . . .
*c’est la vie
Try being Chinese-American in a mid-Western city that isn’t Chicago or Detroit.
Mom got a talk about basic math.
“That said, if you actually find out anything about Jacob that Sarah would like…”
Have you seen him?
And why Sarah and no other woman?
Dorothy is the only one she knows who is paired up.
She also has no idea what Sarah or anybody else would like.
Sure I’ve seen Jacob. Doesn’t mean he’s every woman’s type in this universe. In this kind of art style, it’s far easier to tell when somebody’s ugly or not ugly instead of particularly good looking. Similarly, I have no idea why people find Guy of Two Guys and Guy hot.
Not a comment on the abilities of either artist, but what I see.
That said, I have yet to see anybody who is universally attractive, no matter how hot they are generally acknowledged to be.
Because as Joyce’s roommate, Sarah has dibs.
I get the feeling that she trusts Sarah more than Billie, and she probably assumes Sal can land whoever she wants. She also seems to want to set up a -relationship- instead of a pre-marital hanky panky session, which is likely all it would be with Billie and Sal.
She may trust Sarah more, but she is friendlier with others.
She is shocked when anybody has pre-marital hanky-panky, it’s doubtful that she can tell who is more likely to have it. She just doesn’t think most people are that way.
So Billie and Sal are not just ruled out.
Joyce has never seen Sal with a Guy and she pushes people away as much as Sarah does.
Of course she wants to set up a relationship, she thinks the entire world works that way. Except for Walky and Dorothy, because Dorothy can now break up with him whenever she wants. A passive-aggressive wording..
But she recognized the thought as potentially racist and, on that basis, did not act on it, so it balances out.
She didn’t recognize it on her own. Jacob asked her the natural question – why do you think we’d be good together?
And that’s when we and she realized her reasoning was racist – she had to stifle her only response.
It was also an immediate reaction, before finding out anything about him except his name and seeing him.
No points for her being led there. No balancing.
Why not Billie for instance? She knows Billie about as well as Sarah.
Sal is a natural choice – she is supposed to be the hottest of them all. Of course she is also half white.
She wasn’t “led” there. Like you said, he asked the perfectly natural question of what she’s like. She immediately realized where she was coming from and slammed on the brakes, clumsily of course, but she made the effort to do better than her upbringing would have her do.
She was certainly led there. She never thought of it on her own. She never saw how empty her justification was until she was made to think – it wasn’t the point of his question, but she had to be brought to the realization.
Leading requires no foreknowledge on Jacob’s part. He inadvertently took her to the place where it was obvious.
If Jacob had agreed to meet Sarah, this is a question that would never have entered Joyce’s mind – “Why did I think they’d make a good couple?” – it simply isn’t an independent product of Joyce.
Also, if that wasn’t leading, the entire Socratic method falls apart.
Granted it doesn’t work on everybody, but making horses drink and all that.
Yet another reason why Sarah is the best character.
Amen to that.
She’s at least top 3 for me!
Sarah doesn’t hate everybody, just stupid ones. Humm…well, yeah, guess she hates most people.
Sarah and my daughter share that characteristic, with me.
Stupid ones and people who waste her time.
She likes Dorothy, just didn’t want to hear teen drama (Danny).
Sarah is SO cute when she has a crush!
What is she like the rest of the time?
Cute AND scary.
There’s a little bit of scary in the cuteness of her crush.
Visually appealing but emotionally distant.
She’s calm, collected and…distant. I’ve never really seen her so emotionally charged. I mean, look at her blushing!
I knew that would come back to haunt Joyce one day
I’m sorry but.. is your gravatar a high Jesus?
I thought it was Bishie Jesus.
(every time Yotomoe uses an anime word he dies a little inside)
Your username contains the letters “M-O-E”. You are using one every time you post!
Yotomoe doesn’t count because it’s an amalgamation of 2 words. And one of them is english.
We question why you are using the Third person in your responses.
I felt obligated to do this. The Misters conspire!
The great Yotomoe will now present this impressive chart detailing why he uses the third person.
… FAZ HAS REPLACED BATMAN EVERYONE! RUN! WE ARE DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED! D=
Cragalanch is wondering what’s wrong with speaking in the third person
I think it’s like a porcelain doll of High Jesus.
Yet another hotty Joyce has been keeping all to herself.
It’s History Channel Jesus a la Shortpacked!
More like Hot Jesus, amarite?
Now I’m waiting to see Joyce head “across the tracks” to the local chitlin circuit bar to find a prospective husband for Sarah.
She’s gonna bring Sarah a broom so that they two can get married!
A broom? Joyce seems pretty Christian to be messing around with wiccan business.
Jumpin’ the broom is how ya get married, ya silly.
Ever watch Drawn Together? I’m getting Princess Clara / Foxxy Love vibes. Let’s hope this means Joyce and Sarah are going to kiss.
Incidentally, I wound up kinda hating that show. It had its moments, but never really lived up to the potential of its concept, and ended up just trying to be offensive for offensiveness sake most of the time without being clever about it. Great voice cast, though, especially Tara Strong who is awesome.
And now I have that song stuck in my head again.
But yes, the show mostly wasted it’s potential.
It’s a show with humor that shamelessly goes after low-hanging fruit (like “Brickleberry” does now), it’s hard to say there was potential for anything beyond that.
The idea was neat; put cartoon characters from a lot of different genres and styles together and compare them to the different sorts of dysfunctional personalities you get in a schlock reality TV show.
But it barely did anything with that. Xandir was supposed to be a video game character, but instead just became a gay stereotype. Ling-Ling was supposed to represent anime, but just became an Asian stereotype. Clara was a Disney princess who was just a Christian stereotype, Foxxy was a 70s Hanna-Barbera cartoon who was just a black stereotype, etc.
Twilight Sparkle was in Drawn Together? Goodness me…
*Ahem*. I’ll just leave this here and slink quietly away in shame for finding it amusing.
And I’ll follow it up with
Joyce shipped it before she even knew shipping was a thing!
Woops sorry, I have the mermory of a 5 year old. ( runs from the allpowerful Willis )
…and also the spelling ability.
Pray, Master Willis, do you keep storyboard outlines or other plot aids for your characters to keep their details straight, or do you just know them so well that you can pull up archive material like this on the fly?
I have a text file that contains maybe five things (mostly Shortpacked!) that I wrote down, worrying that I’d forget before I could draw them. Everything else is in my head.
No one can resist the Jacob.
We saw Ethan had trouble.
I can only hope that becomes a factor in leaving the closet for good.
I’m either a bad American or an average American because I had to look up the 13th amendment (although I had a good guess before I did.)
I barely know any of the ammendments. Let alone the constitution BEFORE they ammended it!
I like the third amendment, which says you’re not allowed to quarter soldiers in a private home during peacetime unless you get the consent of the owner. It’s a rule I always make sure to follow, even though I’m not in the US.
Sure, you laugh, but it was a serious thing at the time.
“This is a very nice house, sir. We’ll be requisitioning it for, oh, the next two months or so. You and your family can sleep in the garage. The Marine Corps thanks you.”
(His Majesty, by the Grace of God, King George’s government actually did that. Fairly often. Funny how it just made the “local troubles” worse…)
Jacob – Worth dissolving the 13th Amendment. He should get that on a t-shirt.
Jacob: “Worth the racism”
Jacob should just never wear a t-shirt. Just go shirtless for the rest of college.
You know it gets freaking cold in Indiana, don’t you? Jacob would be deceased before spring semester.
His sheer hotness will keep him warm.
I’m reminded of a cartoon that someone who is definitely not me, was watching that i just so happened to see in passing. A character, let’s call him Gil, was in the snow, he took it off, and the snow melted.
Me thinks it’s one of the total drama island/action shows. Waaaaas it? C’mon, you know you wanna tell us more!
The ladies would gladly cuddle with him to keep him warm all winter.
Winter is always the best time for hot chocolate.
That was perfect.
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
Sarah, I know you really really fancy Jacob but reintroducing slavery just to score with him might not be the best deal for ya.
Who says the black people will be the slaves this time? We had our turn!
There are MORE than enough white people to go around. Everybody gets to be happy.
Unless you’re white.
But Political Correctness depends on Straight White Males being the ones to blame for anything that goes wrong with any group that is not Straight, White or Male and that only works if they are the ‘oppressor’ group.
If you had slaves, do you really think you’d even want an oppressor group? Besides, straight white males are pretty blameworthy. Look at all their wars.
Yeah, sorry. Hundred Years War, totally my bad.
(Y’know, that would probably work better if my gravatar weren’t a bisexual half-Asian female.)
Man, I would be so nice to my slaves. I’d let them watch tv when they’re not working. They get their own house with fully functional facilities and pool. Also I will feed them.
They just have to work all day every day for free.
“Do you honestly believe I care about your arguments anymore? It’s over! Ha! I’ve won. You have no weapons, your friends are all dead, and I hold all your precious equipment. You are nothing. I’d kill you, but that wouldn’t do justice to all the trouble you’ve caused. I’ll keep you as a slave. A pet. And you will know that it is you that did this, and suffer through your own self-loathing.”
My father side is Irish decent that came here around or after the Civil war and my mother side came from mixed eourean decents and came from Denmark around the turn of the 20th century. I don’t have to aplogize for s*it.
Except maybe your spelling??
To Hell with a man that can’t spell a word more then one way!
Say it with me now: “You get a slave. AND YOU get a slave. EVERYBODY GETS A SLAVE.”
If it makes you feel any better, it’d be straight Chinese dudes for kings of hegemon mountain for most of history. You just happened to be born in the era where white people, in particular dudes, were dominant.
Sarah’s going to make a heck of an interesting lawyer, grabbing everyone in the courtroom by the scruff of their collars or judicial robes.
It would work on me.
“This girl is really into this deliveration! IT MUST BE TRUE!!!”
“Single Female Lawyer! Having lots of sex!”
Dunno if this has been commented on before, but isn’t it about time to get a new poll? The current one has been around for a while.
That’d be like kissing your sister. Or in Sarah’s case, your SISTAH.
That joke was terrible, go to room.
Norj doesn’t mean just any room, THE room.
Oh hai Sarah
“Oh hai, Yotomoe. How is your sex life, ha?”
That movie is drugs. Not on drugs, not inspired by drugs. It IS drugs.
And you’re supposed to say NO to drugs! :O
YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, HOBOUTURTLE!
Oh Hai, Yotomoe!
I did not hit on her, that’s bullshit, I did not. O hai Mark.
Whenever I think “Huh, I think I’d like to watch the room again,” I remember ALL FOUR sex scenes and I get really uncomfortable all over again, and I watch this instead, and I laugh nearly as many times as I do while watching the actual movie:
Sometimes, though, sometimes – it makes me want to watch it again even more. OH WELL BETTER GET REAL GROSSED OUT AGAIN *crack beer*
I can hear the juices flowing. And it doesn’t disgust me in the slightest.
Do you hear the juices flow,
flowing from her private den?
It’s the juice of a woman who’s prepared
to be enslaved again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the pulsing of your loins,
There’ll be passion in the air
When Jacob joins!
(from Les Jizz)
(the famous musical by Victor Hugoing at it)
Sarah would create slaves just to get Jacob?
The image of Jacob as a sex slave makes me not like Sarah now.
I’m now imagining her in bondage gear, paddling both Joyce and Jacob with her bath. Hopefully Joe and Dorothy also join in.
OH MY GOD I LOVE JOYCE, NOW & FOREVER, gaaaah
In a platonic way or not?
I wonder what Joyce interprets, THAT, to mean? Will she take as Black? Or as Muscled?
“THAT” = fine as hell.
Shit I almost drowned just now. Never drink and read dumbing.
Could this be a strategic F-Bomb, or a tactical F-Bomb?
Soooo which plot are you looking forward to? Sara getting some or Amber’s impending hate crime?
How is it a hate crime? Being gay does not give a “Get out of a beating free” card for dickish behavior
because she hates the fact he is re-entered te closet. Especially the fact he came out before she could ride him like a harley down a country road. Amazi-girl ture origins: pent up sexual fustrations.
Bullshit. She’s mad at him because he just spite-kissed the girl that, for all she knows, Ethan is still leading on, even though she asked him not to.
In case anyone had any trouble finding the strip where Joyce was talking to Jacob, there is a hidden feature in the tag search: http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/joyce+jacob/
YOU’VE MADE ARGUING ABOUT THIS WEBCOMIC A TON EASIER THANK YOU
How much time does Sarah spend with clenched fists?
The entire time.
I guess living in a place with a 99.9% white population makes me rather clueless when it comes to racist issues.
Why is it considered a racist thing to introduce two single people when they’re both black? Because Joyce is white? Would it be racist if she was black too?
I think it’s because her first thought was Sarah, even though she hasn’t shown any interest in dating … or human interaction in general, and not any of her other single friends. Also, when Jacob asked her why she thought he and Sarah would be “perfect together” she couldn’t think of a single reason.
You introduce your single friends because you think they might like each other and have things in common, if race is the only thing they have in common, then your motivation is racial and that applies whether you are of the same race as those you are introducing or not.
Well, since it’s Joyce we’re talking about, I can immediately understand the problem.
In fact… coming from a non-multiethnic, non-multicultural place… I suddenly feel like I might just be like Joyce! D:
Oh, wait. I’m not religious. Phew.
I imagine “You’re both cute” POSSIBLY could have been a second reason after “You’re both black” [which is vaguely risky, 'cause what if they're actually related?], but it’d be just as shallow.
Though, I’d balk, too, if I knew my friend Sarah would totes dig hot dude Jacob, and I couldn’t think of anything other than “because she’d dig you, though I’m not sure about the other way around” =p
I think it might be because certain individuals would consider the idea of same-race dating (black w/blacks, white w/whites, etc) to be a subtle attempt to “keep the races separate”, and by inference “keeping the white race pure”; and therefore anyone who promotes that would be, to their mind, racist. Refer to the “mudblood” epithet from ‘Harry Potter’.
Of course that is not always the case. Sometimes a cigar *IS* just a cigar.
I was pulled up like that I think id soil my pants joyce I think you better run
“”You fucking introduce me!”"
OR I WILL MURDER EVERYTHING!
She won’t stab everything like Billie, she will beat everything with a baseball bat.
Joyce murders people by saying something wildly inappropriate about their culture. …Although I suppose it may not be “murder” so much as “involuntary manslaughter.”
Joyce murders people with a broken glass.
I like Sarah.
Me too. She’s slowly becoming one of my favorite girls in there.
Yeah, for real.
Always have liked her. She deserves a much higher place on the poll.
I blame the author on focusing on sweatpants jeans and two insanely adokable cereal loving girls and not on defrosting the ice queen by meeting this naïve bible thumper and make sure she dose not end up like her last room mate….and the Escaped BRIAN BLEESED clone. ( Joe’s dad)
People love Ruth and Billie’s relationship, but Sarah and Joyce’s has always been my favorite.
That second panel is just exploding with Classic Joyce-ness. The huge eyes, the triangle grin – folks, this is the essence of Joyce, right here.
Tomorrow’s page too!
whoa buddy let’s not get ahead of ourselves
Always thought this was one of the better forums. Good discussions, funny sexual innuendos, discussions of forbidden topics such as slavery conducted in an intelligent manner, et al are all fine: but a hotlink to AF military band’s beautiful Christmas Symphony Flashwave in Smithsonian is not?
I came back to see if any comments on sharing it. Sigh. Oh well. Learn something every day.
This is not a page for you to spam links you think are of interest. My website is not your friggin’ Tumblr. Removing stuff like that is what KEEPS this one of the better forums.
All the upvotes.
(That I can’t give you with this comment system, but still.)
OK, that may have been the funniest comic you’ve done in this series!
Uh…Joyce? It’s not racist if you’re playing matchmaker with two people of the same nationality. Seriously, it’s not bad that you’re trying to introduce someone to someone else.
yeah, ‘merican nation!
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So.... Walky Performs A Sex
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