I’d ask how Mike knows, but it’s Mike.
He probably knew they were doing it before they did.
It was Mike’s PLAN.
To be an asshole, anyway.
Mike was banging Ms. Walkerton at the time…
Mike is secretly her dad.
I’m imaging Mike in a Darth Vader costume. Hmmm who would be the Emperor? Sal would be Leia, Walky would be Luke and Billie would be Han.
I see Billie as more Chewie, always in the scene, making noise but nobody really listens.
Faz is the Emperor, think about it. Who else would sit and gloat about how you are falling for his evil plan exactly as he thought you would, thus ruining his own plan?
Does this make Dorothy Obi-Wan?
“Luke, I fucked your mother… FOR A NICKEL!”
“No, no! That’s not true! That’s impossible!”
“Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true!”
Reminds me of a similiar comment I made waaay back over on Shortpacked!, let me see if I can dig out the link…
Ah, there it is: http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1516
Also, for Emperor… Ruth, aka “Darth Ruthless”, obviously
…That would make Mike Sal and Walky’s dad. Is Amber Padme?
…for a nickel!
Please. There’s been inflation since then. It was only 3 cents.
Or it was a shot in the dark.
Who doesn’t know? Don’t you remember what happened the last time assignments were returned in that class?
Sal is just angry because Mike implies that she didn’t earn that C properly, and would deserve a D at best.
Oh, she earned that D all right.
He gave his D, she gave her boo-Bs, and they met in the middle for this C.
Mike sees all, Mike knows all.
Sees you when you are sleeping, knows when you are awake…
I thought he would be fatter and jollier myself.
You obviously haven’t seen Mike drunk…
Is drunk Mike even a thing here in DoA?
Hasn’t had a chance yet
I’m kinda surprised Joyce got that!
I would have been a lot more surprising a few weeks earlier.
Just think, if it weren’t for communal showers, she’d never have seen all that educational graffiti!
Including where to go for a good time.
I don’t think she does but realizes that it’s something she doesn’t want to get.
It can’t be dirty. He’s not rubbing it on his tummy.
“Your thing! Rub it on my chin!”
By the end of the comic, she’ll become Dorothy’s lesbian sub.
(Imagine this is a very distressed looking emoticon)
You got one word in that wrong, but I forgive you because it relates to the comic.
I subconsciously interpret “sub” as the short form of submarine.
What the hell is a lesbian submarine?
A very girly hoagie.
A chick who really likes to “go down”?
A muff diver.
I’m pretty sure she’s at that stage where anything Mike says is mean/sexual/unnecessary.
Insert funny comment nearby. I am kinda glad to see more of Mike again, and hope to see more Jason too. …been a bit
Jason Executes an Intercourse?
Queensbury Rules, naturally.
…thank you for the laugh. Actually, it’d be pretty easy to slip into canon, and I am sure there are enough fans of Jason and Sal for it to be feasible.
Sal should give up Jason and go for her true love:Billie.
And eventually Billie will have a harem!
I’d watch that anime
Are you kidding? Sal would be the one with the harem. She’s already got Joyce and Billie.
I am ok with this outcome!
They can all be each others’ harems.
Yeah, yeah. Slip it in.
Oi, Linton! stop messing about with Jack’s Gravatar account.
It starts with an awfully daring depiction of osculation. Later, Sal thinks about England whilst reclining.
On whole beat toast.
I prefer Humpernickel.
Partial to a nice big banguette, myself.
A fan of Fuckaccia, myself.
How ’bout a nice hymen rye??
I am trying to think of a good hoagie pun and am failing.
The only thing I got involves swallowing either a 6 inch or a footlong.
Grinder? I hardly know ‘er!
*tugs on tie*
I think you meant “grindah”.
Sal really loves sausage
You mean, “ASS-ignments,” amirite? Eh? Eh??
I’ll be here all night, be sure to tip your waitress…
…with your tip Eh? Eh?
Well she’ll at least get a nickel after that…
Mike knows all about your sandwich habits, and he is unimpressed.
I’m assuming you mean the ones made out of bread and not the kinkier kind involve three people?
Could be both. Maybe combined.
B-BUT HOW DID MIKE KNOW?!
WHO WAS PHONE?
Mikes sees all. Mike Knows all.
It is a sandwhich after all………..
I dunno about a sub but I know that Sal did put away a large piece of beef.
You mean tube steak right?
Translation : “slim jim”
His name’s “Jason”.
“Press ‘X’ to Jason”
“Press ‘Bean’ to Jason”
Is the “panto”in pantomime silent. I’ve just never heard it before.
No, it’s the rest of the mime that’s silent.
Nope, the panto is very audible.
Not sure if that was a joke or not, so I’m answering seriously.
The ‘panto’ in ‘pantomime’ is like the word ‘refrigerator’ compared to ‘fridge’ or ‘telephone’ compared to ‘phone;’ it’s part of the word but not usually used.
Yeah I’ve always seen it spelled like that but I’ve always heard mime.
No they are two different things. Pantomime is not the same as a mime. Google it.
Interestingly, the first definition for “pantomime” that popped up when I did so had the word “mime” in it.
express or represent (something) by extravagant and exaggerated mime.
Mime just means acting something out, usually with hand gestures.
Panto is a prefix from the Greek language, meaning “all.”
The Greek word “mimos” is used to mean “imitator” or “actor.”
Pantomime is derived from the Greek word pantomimos. It originally referred to a group who “imitates all” before its meaning changed to refer to the performance itself.
For more detail, check it out on Wikipedia.
Is that Alan?!
Or the Eleventh Doctor with a haircut.
Kick his ass, babe. Mike needs it every now and then. It’ll do him and you both good.
Mike’s ass is impossible to kick. Even if you beat him up he’ll twist it around to make YOU the loser.
(whispering) “no punch”
Oh, look. Mary isn’t on the poll, despite her occasional avoidance of clothes before 3 PM.
Skin deep Mary, skin deep
Well she didn’t appear much in the past year so she’s ineligable.
Yeah, pretty much. Daisy has shown up in 2014, Mary has not, though Mary definitely had the edge over Daisy in 2013. Still, I’d rather she stay gone.
I’m guessing that’s Billie’s hand in the first panel? Otherwise, I don’t see her.
Is Mike’s sole purpose to screw everyone else in the world over? Is there a reason he does this, some backstory I don’t know about?
He was just born that way. Though it must come from some seriously recessive genes, considering his parents.
Or, theorycrafting here… Mike’s parents are assholes and are perpetually drunk in social scenarios, hence he grew up learning to be an asshole from them and that alcohol is for when you “want to be nice”. Mike’s parents are thus chronic alcoholics because they have some survival need to be “nicer people”, and Mike’s always an asshole because he abhors how it transforms people to be completely the opposite of what they naturally would be.
That’s under the assumption that the “nice drunk” tendency from Walkyverse carried over. That’s also under the assumption he’d drink at all, too. I’m 99% sure I’m wrong, but I thought it was interesting to consider.
No, his sole purpose is to screw everyone’s mom’s for a nickel.
Mike can actually be really helpful sometimes, it’s just delivered in the most jerky way possible.
He’s like angry Buddha, face-punching people to their true selves/paths.
Sal sounds a bit like the comment section with that sandwich pun in the last panel.
Is someone finally gonna punch Mike? I feel like that would be about right; for gods’ sake SOMEONE’S gonna punch Mike sooner or later.
Also: I like the idea that conservative British jackass Captain Whathisface would cheat for Sal because she had the sex with him, and then only give her a C.
Further also, I think Joyce just advanced one merry step closer to snapping and sucking a billion dicks.
Last person to punch Mike, he married.
And Sal may have gotten a C, but Jason totally gave her the D.
I thought he gave her the “O”.
To properly DO sal he gave her both.
Punching Mike would be the ultimate victory for Mike and the ultimate loss for the puncher. It means he truly got to them and they can’t pretend otherwise.
…Yeah I suspect Sal is more the type to enjoy the beating too much to care. And speaking personally, knowing kharma caught up to the bastard would waaaaaay outweigh any personal shame.
So you’re saying Mike plays the Joker to everyone’s Batman?
…Mike’s plot is to make everyone Batman! This is diabolically genius!
I hope she snaps and falls in love with Dorothy
A 74 equals a ‘C’? Grade scale sure has slipped since I went to school.
Back in my day 74 was a ‘D’, only four percentage points above an ‘F’.
a) typically, 70-79 = C now, yeah. Although K think there’ll still some slight, weird variants.
b) 74 is quite nearly “3 put of 4″ and if as the Meat Loaf says, “Tao out of three ain’t bad” then surely three outta four is alright.
c) she got a seventy-SIX. I’m sorry but I have to give you an alligator in reading comprehension.
I realized my fingers had slipped after I hit “post”.
A pox on this comment board for not having an “edit” function!!
Ah yes. My own snottiness about inaccuracy was weakened somewhat my by million typos in the above post, which ruefully I could not edit out, yeah. Sometimes Willis (I think) edits them though; in a different commenet “sexier ” was “sexist” cuz of auto-correct. I cursed auto-correct in the subsequent post, which promptly disappeared along with the offending bit.
It depends on the school. My high school and college both used a scale where A was 93+, B was 86-92, C was 78-85, D was 70-77, and F was 0-69. The high schools in the districts surrounding mine used a scale where A was 90+, B 80-89, C 70-79, D 60-69, and F below 60, though.
So Mr. Loaf would’ve failed at my high school, but gotten a solid D at the county high school. (Either way, I don’t think it qualifies as “not bad”.) And I dunno what scale IU uses, but at my college, Sal would’ve had a high D. But she’d fail at 69. (Maybe that’s why Billie and Ruth keep having problems.)
Of course, I graduated from high school 22 years ago, so I guess it doesn’t say much about kids these days.
So, if I’m following correctly… Jason’s dick is so smart that it is slowly increasing Sal’s grades!
Because they did absolutely nothing else except have sex during those TA sessions. Pretty sure Sal actually went to him for help and he was helping her try and understand the formulas, and she’s still seeing him to get tutored since I don’t think he gave in when she threatened to out him for his unprofessional relationship with a student. She managed to blackmail him into making time to tutor her more on demand, not to pass the class for having put out.
I doubt Jason WOULD give her good grades for putting out. He’s not that kind of guy. But yeah, she’s probably been gettin’ some edumacation from Jason.
Is that… the fundamental theorem of calculus?! IT IS.
The funny thing about Calc 1 is that once you know the Power Rule (which is extraordinarily simple for a term with such a badass name), you’re set for almost the entire course, since everything else is just an extension thereof.
It’s fun to say “Calc 1 was easier than this” while performing trivial tasks just to show off, because it’s often true.
I have this theory where Joyce’s positive attitude infects those she spends time with and improves their lives. The scale of the improvement is directly proportional to how much time they spend with her. Dorothy and Walky have improved the most, Billie’s in a much better place now, despite recent setbacks, Sal’s improving, Sarah’s improving.
Hell the only people whoaren’t improving are danny and amber, the two people she’s spent no time with.
She’s spreading Joyce-itis. Pretty soon everyone will be a cheery Christian girl.
I keep reading that as “Joyce-tits”. Probably some calming is required.
Same here, need caffeine… Although if we get to the point of Joyce showing off her tits it might be a sign of the Apocalypse.
Flaw: Joe spent a good bit of time with her and he hasn’t changed one bit.
Flaw: Ethan’s situation may actually be WORSE than before, as he’s so far back in the closet now that he can see Narnia.
So she improves the lives of everyone around her except the dudes she dates. Who… both happen to be Jewish, if memory serves… oh dear.
Joe’s pretty happy with his life. Ethan’s making friends.
It’s hard to not feel slightly more positive when someone is cheery and is going out of their way to be nice and include you. Probably means a lot to Sal to have someone actually pay attention to her and interact with her, as opposed to just acknowledging her presence in an area and keeping fixated on everything but her, like what her brother and mom did… and her dad, though he did pay a little attention to her on family day.
Kinda forshadowing of peril for Joyce though… As everyone is improved by her presence and influence, so shall her fortunes possibly not turn out well. I’m theorizing that she legit falls in love with Ethan and is crushed when, SURPRISE! She couldn’t fix his “gay problem” no matter how much she tried to “save him” and fulfill her dream of getting a husband and having 2.5 kids.
Quick, get Joyce around Mary!
Is that Danny from Bravest Warriors in the background of the final panel?
Does that mean Mike is Chris?
What the fu-does mike have a cameras hooked up in places people is THAT what he’s been doing all this time? What else does he know, does he know the identity of all the people who comment on this strip?
Ceiling Mike watches them bang.
Didn’t you know? Mike is totally Santa Claus. He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you have sex. He knows when you do something you ought to feel guilty about, and knows how to blackmail. Sorry I couldn’t make it rhyme. XD
Mike knows when I’m sleeping? Well, I’m drinking 3 gallons of coffee tonight.
He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you have sex
He knows how to make your guilt
Write him personal checks
With that avatar? Perfect.
He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you have sex
He knows your moms all carnally
Even harder than Oedipus Rex
You’d better not shout, you’d better not cry
You’d better not wear pajama jeans, guys
Santa Mike is coming to town.
I was just thinking the other day when are we going to get more Sal and Jason stuff, and ahoy.
I’m surprised that Joyce knew Mike was making an innuendo there. Or….whatever you call it. Shocked, I am.
Ah Mike. Always there to make a joke involving sex. Usually about your mom and a nickel
Yes! “Club” him, Sal…with your fists…in the FACE!!!
He’s had it coming!
in the FAAACE!!!!!
Way to go on your Ass-signment.
Joyce is the most intelligent ignorant person ever.
Like the old Calculus rebus:
\ e^x = f*u(n)
Thank You! I’ll get this here HTML thing figured out someday….
That was supposed to be an integral symb…oh nevermind…..
A witch!! Burn the witch!!!
She turned me into a newt.
…I got better!
They just pass the assignments around? In a lecture class? That would take forever, not to mention people nickin’ the smart people’s papers for study guides.
Unless I’m forgetting they’re in assign seats. Or the TA is just passing all 3 of their papers over at the same time. I probably just answered myself.
After this strip, someone, somewhere, is shipping Sal/Mike.
YAY SAL GOT A C!!!
I am disappointed that none of those are this:
More disappointed at the lack of Andrew W.K..
I had a Joyce-like level of naivety when i entered college (at 16). I went to the University of North Texas (UNT), and could not figure out why the radio station’s call letters were KNTU….
Because sheltered you had yet to realize, all Texans are inherently dyslexic.
I thought Joyce’s response was gonna be “oh, was there a curve”? I guess she’s getting less naïve
Dammit that ? should have been inside the ” . Now I must spend 100 days in punctuation hell.
If Sal was treating the Prof’s dick like a sub sandwich, it’s no surprise she only got a 76. The best way to suck a dick is to treat it like a BLT – slather it in mayo, wrap it in bacon and lettuce, then garnish with sliced tomatoes before inserting it into your mouth.
Make sure the bacon isn’t hot off the skillet.
Sal gets 79% and wins Hottest Girl!
As it should be!!!
Uh…I mean 76% and wins Hottest girl!!!
Still good enough to celebrate!!!!
One does not simply punch Mike.
Not Depicted: Sal’s glasses sliding onto her face perfectly as she says that last line, followed by the entire classroom going “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
This is canon. Now.
I’m impressed with the mathematics on the board, it’s accurate for a freshmen calculus class and not just a bunch of random scribbles.
Oh well, I was really hoping Mike would be in a sweater dress today.
This is Mike we’re talking about. The only reason he’s not in a sweater dress is because you wanted him to be.
Sal’s Fist-sized Club sandwiches! Now only 9 cents more than your mom!
I choose to believe you are implying that Sal is about to fist Mike.
HOLY CRAP MIKE’S COMMENT WASN’T OVER JOYCE’S HEAD.
Her corruption has begun…
Odd. I had the same reaction. The “choose to believe” says she really knows what Mike’s implying, but chooses not to follow the implications. Before, I would have said the comment would have gone over her—no pun intended–head.
Since I don’t recall him knowing about their affiair, I choose to believe that Mike has the psychic ability to know whatever comment will rile people up the most, which he uses for his own evil purposes.
Which one was Joyce offended about?
The idea of 69?
Sal doing 69?
Or Mike demonstrating homosexuality (to her bf)?
She must be fronting really hard. What will power :O
I think Joyce is offended just because she knows Mike well enough to know that whatever he’s doing is offensive, even if she doesn’t understand why.
Smart girl, hehe.
I think joyce is offended because she see’s mike directly insulting her friend…
might just be me though…
Mike vs. Sal: fight of the century.
Billie is in the tags. Huh. Is that supposed to be her hand in the first panel or..? Invisible Billie.
The skin tone is right, and that’s likely where she’s sitting.
You know, I think if I were him Sal is about the LAST person I’d be baiting. Most of the others would put up with his douchebaggery, I suspect Sal wouldn’t (won’t).
It occurs to me though that might be EXACTLY what Mike wants.
It’s an unusual goal, to want to have all your bones broken…
Ah, Sal Joyce & Mike. It’s like the good old days.
I read Joyce’s last line in Starfire’s voice.
As for how Mike knows? Well, he was present when Sal did this. Probably just a matter of putting two and two together.
I hope I am not alone in wishing to see Sal murder Mike
I’m waiting for Mike to change Sal’s life with his assholery.
I’m glad this comic has finally introduced its main character, Professor Rees. It’s been a long time coming, but is obviously worth it. I look forward to his main arc.
Jeez, Mike… what the hell is your problem? Who hurt you?
In the past, we don’t know. In about 5 seconds…
I would love to see Sal beat the ever living shit out of Mike.
“Oh, he’s ’bout a sandwich of some kind.”
Huh, I thought he’d be shorter.
Is it bad that I kinda sorta totally ship Mike and Joyce?
Sometimes I wonder if Mike just knows these things or if he just saw an opportunity present itself and he took a shot and hit home.
Tonight on NBC, Mike Siegel is…the sex-whisperer.
Trying to figure out why the second fundemental theorem of calculus is on the same board as a limit to infinity. Is this a math class built entirely on concepts and definitions?! That would have been much better pre-calc than pre-calc was.
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