Wow the universe is strange Danny and Joyce are interacting and it’s adorable.
As opposed to their earliest alternate universe interactions, which were less adorable and more…creepy.
On the other hand, the earlier universe had a comedically oversized calculator, which would probably come in handy right about now.
Oh No! Thanks for saving me from seeing a naked lady!
I mean, who could want to see something like that anyhow?
*Garden of Eden* style. *snickers*
Ya not like I was looking forward to that or nothing thanks a lot! (Fucker)
Well, this is Danny. I’m pretty sure he actually didn’t want to.
This is the guy who stopped things with Billie because he was afraid of taking advantage of her.
He’d probably have a similar thought of unintentionally seeing Sal naked too.
Yeah, I’m gonna say that even if it would have been nice on one level, he probably would have been uncomfortable and felt guilty for no particular reason and would start the conversation off awkwardly. He’d also probably apologize and then Sal would be annoyed at him for apologizing.
Joyce is just saving them the trouble.
Eyes closed or not, lucky sonuva bitch.
Just by being in the same room as a naked Sal he has achieved what many have thought impossible.
Billie is in the same room as a naked Sal every night.
Billie is a hot lady. Billie sleeps next to a naked hot lady. Billie was almost in a relationship with a hot lady. Billie clearly got the jackpot (and then lost the ticket)
HAHAHA lost the ticket!
And yet she’s not happy because?
She’s not making out with a nother hot lady right now?
A good a reason as any I have heard.
That is a very good reason to be unhappy. I know I’d be unhappy if I didn’t have another hot lady to make out with.
Next Slipshine: Billie Making Out With Another Hot Lady Right Now
My subscription is waiting…
If only I could draw something other than a graph.
I can draw… a bath? Draw… the curtains?
After all those years of Danning it up big time, Danny finally Danned himself into a pretty sweet situation.
I wish just being in a room with a girl was as much fun as you make it out to be. I wouldn’t have to bother with going any further if that were the case. A lot less work that way.
I didn’t know Eve had biker gloves.
…Oh, right. Hover text. Forgot about that. XD
See, that’s what happen when you keep a book around for several millenia. Stuff gets lost in translation.
Her name is short for Eveil Kinievel.
No, she had to settle for regular snakeskin gloves. Get it? Yeah that was a pretty lame one.
Anyway, since Billie’s left the room, and Sal’s awake, who wants engex?
But I wanna see her!
How does Joyce know and besides, she still has her gloves on so she isn’t totally buff.
She woke Sal up once only to find out she sleeps nude.
Joyce knows from waking up Sal a few in-comic-days ago http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/bunk/
I feel kinda silly now for forgeting suchh a key moment.
Naked and wearing only gloves is just fetish fuel. Joyce is saving Danny from a life where he can only orgasm in the presence of biker gloves.
Sal’s rockin the Mickey Mouse swag!
Joyce’s first interaction with Danny in this universe is to shield his eyes from nakedness.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
I love how Danny just goes along with what Joyce is doing.
Second interaction. She first met him as Joe’s roommate.
The never spoke to each other or even acknowledged that the other existed from what I remember, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s their first interaction.
Next Slipshine: Sal performs an Eve.
Sal becomes modest, shields her nakedness, and submits to a man?
Worst. Slipshine. Ever.
Oh right. I forgot that that story had kind of a shitty ending for all involved, especially Eve.
It’s okay Yotomoe, if it’d been Sal performs a Lilith, it’d been the hottest one ever.
Which Lilith, not the one from Frasier I hope.
No, of course not. Lilith was supposedly Adam’s first wife, and she was made from the dust just as he was. However, she denied Adam top spot, and so Adam got shitty, told God, and she was banished from Eden. Then God made Eve from Adam’s rib, thus putting her “below” Adam.
Personally I find it a load of crock, but hey, whatever. Good on Lilith I suppose.
See anyone who blames Eve for humanities problems is wrong. It’s Adam’s fault! That petty asshole! I bet Lilith was a dynamite gal
After that Lilith has a bunch of demon babies (fathered by, I don’t know, satan?) and spends eternity causing miscarrages and murdering children.
I thought it honestly would be Cain. After all, he was cast out of his father’s grace after killing his brother.
Actually, fathered by Samael. Along with three other female angels, Naamah, Eisheth, and Agrat. Together with Lilith, they’re the four angels of sacred prostitution.
Enjoy weird Jewish mysticism. I know I do.
It is kind of an important point that Lilith was not banished, but left paradise of her own free will.
And then had lots of relations with coastal demons.
It’s funny they were demons. Might have just been people.
ShaggyDonahugh, I am of the firm opinion that demons are people, too. Just not, you know, of The People.
The thing is that Lillith isn’t known as a feminist role model until the 20th century. Before then she’s known for causing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, miscarriages, longer than normal menstrual cycles, and nocturnal emissions. She’s also considered so dangerous that three angels are sent to imprison and guard her. The entrance to the Garden of Eden only got two angels assigned to guard it. And that’s not to mention her time as a Herald of Unicron!
You’re making that middle part up.
(Seriously: this tells you all that you need to know about the mindset of the people men who wrote this stuff down. A woman who refuses to submit to her husband! OMG, hide your babies and set THREE powerful supernatural beings to be her jailers!)
I fail at markup. :p
StClair, the three angelic divorce lawyers that God sent after her to convince her to come back to Adam, and failing that killed her progeny, and are consequently invoked to prevent sudden infant death syndrome, were all female, actually.
But yes, it was written by a man, probably meant as satire.
@StClair: Um, no, I only made up the Herald of Unicron part. (But c’mon, she would totally jump at the chance!)
There are amulets and prayers designed to ward Lillith’s presence away, usually hung next to, or recited next to, a home’s Mezuzah.
sal refuses to submit to a man and leaves to become mother to demons?
also worst slipshine ever.
…actually, that ending would be pretty awesome!
Kinda had a shitty start.
‘Sure, women actually give birth and deal with all the issues that go with it, but the first woman was made from Adam’s rib, so know your place and be thankful!’
If you count Lilith, Eve was his second wife. Seems a bit strange to me – the Catholic Church is against divorce, but Adam got a free pass why exactly?
Because the whole thing about Lilith isn’t canon. It is bible fanfic.
Which makes some people’s opionion that the whole bible is more or less fanfiction all the more hilarious.
It is not exactly Bible fanfic and rather Torah fanfic; it is Jewish mysticism. It was a deliberate interpretation of the two separate accounts of creation in Genesis: First man and woman (Adam & Adama) are created as equals from dust; then a week later, Man is created, becomes lonely (some say he tried to get it on with every animal in the zoo), before God gifted him with a clone of his own with the Y cromosome changed to X. So what happened to the first woman?
Gabriel: “God, we need to talk”
The big G: “Now what?”
Gabriel: “You *really* need to get Adam a wife of sorts…”
Gabriel: “The sheep are getting STDs…”
If you’re taking that route, The New Testament is a sequel with new writers, and the Catholic Church is a reboot.
Fred, here’s how it works out:
The five books of the Torah are the original movies. The early Prophets are the first TV spin-off. The later Prophets, Psalms, and the rest of the “Hagiographia” are spin-offs of the first spin-off.
The Midrash and the Talmud are the Expanded Universe; authorized books, video games, tabletop RPGs and comic books.
The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha are fanfic.
The New Testament is a reboot of the original which is popular with new fans, but ignored by fans of the original. The producers of the remaining try to tie it into the original, but usually ignore the original in favor of outlandish plots and a Mary Sue hero.
The Covenant of the Primes is a prequel.
My God… Its full of stars…
Chava (aka Eve) was Adam’s third wife, not his second. First was Lillith, who was both male and female, like Adam. Then came a second wife, created out of Adam’s body, while he was awake, and Adam got kinda squirmed out by seeing the whole process. Poor woman didn’t even get a name! Finally, Adam was put to sleep, and Eve was created from Adam’s body. When he woke up he saw her fully formed, unlike the second wife, whom he saw as her skeletal structure, muscles and skin were forming.
Neil Gaiman recounts all this in an issue of “The Sandman”; you don’t need to learn Bereishis Rabbah to learn it.
Also, calling the Torah “fan-fiction” could be construed as Judeophobic. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!
Man, I could have totally done PSA’s back in the G1 cartoon!
The whole gving birth in pain thing was because whe seduced Adam, though. There were no childrenin paradise (which is probably why it was paradise.) The lesson is: Don’t have sex, or you’ll get pregnant or have to find a job.
What is especially juicy is that Eve was Adams daughter. She sprang from his rib, which no matter how you interpret is, makes her his blood relative, and it is even explicitly mentioned that they were of the same blood.
And all of mankind descended from them, so – that’s why you don’t take anything in the bible literally. It’s a book full of stories we should learn lessons from, not the ultimate literal truth. Otherwise you’d have a lot of logic holes like “Why is incest immoral if we’re all descended from the same two people?”
Obviously you’re not protestant then, as they believe as a whole, that the Bible is completely literal and should not be interpreted as parables or make believe stories.
No, I’m Roman Catholic – we interpret the bible.
As I recall, the RC Church interprets the bible, then tells the RC’s what to believe.
Either you are being sarcastic or you have some fundamental misunderstanding of how many different types of Protestantism there are. Many types interpret the bible as much or more than the Roman Catholics.
Non-Southern Lutheranism, for instance, is basically Catholicism on anti-depressants and fewer Rites.
Fundamentalists are a minority of Protestants.
Guys, guys! Relax, pull up a bar stool and have some energon, on the house!
The truth is that Jews, and most Christian denominations, do not interpret the Bible literally. The difference is in how they interpret it, and those differences are sort of beyond the scope of the comments section of this webcomic.
The Christian sects who interpret the Bible literally don’t seem to interpret it literally in the same way. There is also a fringe Jewish sect, almost extinct, called the Karaites, who interpret the Torah literally. (There are maybe four hundred left on your planet, most living in either Israel or in the Crimean peninsula.)
Protestantism started in the 1800s?
I thought the thing about the Karaites was that they rejected the idea of an oral tradition handed down from the time of Moses but not written down (the “oral Torah”) and therefore the Talmud.
And It’s Slightly More Reasonable Yet Still Undeniably Kind Of “Hardcore”?
Danny’s taking this pretty well. Personally, I’d take the punch to the face.
This is a Willis universe. A punch to the face may damn well be foreplay.
Who says she would even punch him? Possible Sal just doesn’t give a shit, given she didn’t warn him, ask him to leave, etc.
The way Danny (or any other male exposed to so much…unf) would gawk? She’d probably punch them.
Well normally I would say that only a mentally unstable person would attack someone for doing what they asked and getting an eyeful for their trouble, this is Sal. So yeah. Nevermind.
On the other hand, she doesn’t seem to be particularly worried about modesty, so she would have no real reason to be upset.
Sal might not care, but Joyce has a history of punching people for having “impure” thoughts.
To be fair, that only seems to become an issue when she’s trying to enter into a totally chaste relationship with somebody that’ll end in 8-12 babies. She hasn’t for example attacked Walky/Dorothy for the thoughts they direct at eachother, or Roz for her active promotion of sex and sexuality. This very visit shows that she’s pretty comfortable with the idea that Billie is to some extent a sexual entity who has at times wanted to go to town on somebody.
Sal is pretty well centered, to be honest with you. She’s not really prone to violence, she’s laid back, she doesn’t have much respect for authority, but in general? There are -many- characters I would describe as more “Mentally unstable” than Sal.
Nono, she’s only got one glove. Michael Jackson style.
Ladies and gentlemen (sort that out amongst yourselves)….
A preview of the next Slipshine compliments of Lord Pornmaster!
You saw it here first! Danny and Sal!
And you will never unsee it!!
I’ve been waiting 15 years…
Are you male D.J.?
… wow, third comment tonight. I clearly need to go sleep.
You can’t look directly at them, Danny, you can’t handle the sexy.
Either that or he’d Dan it up.
I dunno, he made out with Amber/Amazi-Girl. Lot of sexy there and he weathered the storm. Not to mention, has had the sexytimes with Dorothy. He also spurned Billie’s advances. He’s got some experience in this field.
It doesn’t matter. You’re never prepared to look directly into a Sal rack. It changes a man. And a woman. Joyce is probably traumatized in the best way.
She does have quite the Sal crush, and it didn’t waver after the boob-ness, so I am inclined to agree with that. Between her, Dorothy(in a more platonic way), and her catching herself leering a little at Billie’s chest, she has a lot of feelings she has sort of tabled for now, to sort through at a later date.
New slipshine: threesome of Billie, Sal, and Joyce, with Danny
awkwardly in a corner.
Every time I start to feel sympathy for Joyce (which happens quite a bit I must admit) she pulls a stunt like this, if Sals ok with it then who is Joyce to interfere?
I’m sure she means well. And knowing Danny he probably appreciates it.
Even Danny would appreciate an eyeful of Sal
Yeah, he seems to be put off by stuff with people he doesn’t really know yet. Bit old fashioned in that way.
He is being smart, he can actually still see Sal, Joyce didn’t completely cover his eyes.
Sal’s just waking up. She might not have even processed the fact that Billie just sent a boy over while she was topless yet.
Though knowing Joyce I’m not entirely sure that’s the angle she’s approaching this from. Still, in this instance I’m thinking it’s better to err on the side of caution. Worst case scenario Danny has to live with not seeing Sal topless today, and I think he’ll manage.
I can just tell Joe’s off somewhere being filled with rage and jealousy.
Joe wanted press himself against Danny as they didn’t look at boobies together!
Joe is probably off somewhere filling some ladies with rage and jealousy.
Strange, I thought he was using semen.
It’s kind of weird how Sal is winning the badass poll even though she hasn’t actually done anything badass.
I voted for Malaya.
Yeah, Sal is badass, but it is mostly informed at the moment. Sarah, Amber, and Ruth, we’ve seen in action, with Sarah taking her place at bat, and Amber and Ruth are shown to be great in a scrap.
So did I, she wasn’t too successful but she does have gumpton and besides, everyone else would be voting for Amber, Sal, Ruth or maybe Sarah anyhow.
I voted for sal cuz she wears cutoff gloves, jumps out of windows, owns a motorcycle and basically leads a gang of skaters/roller-derby girls.
If that in and of itself isn’t badass then you must be crazy.
That was for most Badass!? God Damnit I thought it was for Bad-ASSET and I voted Joyce what have I done!
And Sal wins every poll she’s in this is now surprise.
Joyce *did* stand up to her parents for Dorothy’s sake. That is badass in and of itself.
Still voted for Amber, myself.
That does not qualify for Badass she doesn’t count, if I new before I voted I would have went straight for amber/Amazi-girl
Her handling of Amazi-girl was pretty badass, though Marcie puts up a good show too.
Sal is badass enough to simply mock Ruth, and, possibly even more importantly, to walk away. Malaya tries to be badass, but just ends up being clotheslined and then thrown halfway across a parking lot.
Joyce is just protecting what is hers.
Loving the name “wonderbread” for Danny
Impending fansmut alerts: 1) Sal nude and covered in snakes; 2) Sal AS a snake…
Mental image was, instead of porn, Sal dressed as a member of Cobra.
The Baroness :-p
Failing to see how that qualifies as “instead of porn”.
Dammit Joyce, stop hiding the goods from Dan.
*In a bad italian accent*
You got the goods? Yea? Well then lemme see em. Hey, wait, what’aya doin?!
So like Joyce. She does have her heart in the right place, and wonder if Danny is really all that upset. He is a bit shy around females he’s hot for, let alone naked ones he don’t really know. Especially Sal.
Keeping in mind that a version of TheWord says that Lillith was the first woman, but apparently she had a mind of her own. So she got written off as a demon and Eve got created to be the ‘little woman’.
First time a male tried that ‘born of my rib, so under me shit, I told him born of a rib puts me close to his heart, and the fastest way to a mans heart is thru his rib. Capesh?
Well, I don’t know about Danny, but I would remove her hands from my eyes and tell her politely to get off of me.
But I wouldn’t especially care about Sal boobs. If she is interested, I can interact with them later. If she isn’t, I can get a boob fix elsewhere. It might be different for a desperate sex starved guy though.
Danny is in a relationship.
Is he? It hasn’t been established where he stands with Amber/Amazi-Girl right now.
Not that I think he’d look anyway even if he was single.
He’s openly expressed a desire to focus on himself for a while rather than make further attempts at dating. So.
I believe “It’s complicated” is a better approximation of his relationship status. Is there a “Schrödinger’s relationship” option?
Until observed, he is simultaneously tapping and not tapping that
…Oh gods, Schrodinger’s Law is “pics or it did AND didn’t happen”
Science has always been pics or the equivalent or it didn’t happen.
Wow, Dan and his two alt-universe girlfriends AND his alt-universe stalker all in the same room together. Clearly the whole webcomic has been building up to this moment. I dig it.
Hey look this stupid thing I photoshopped is relevant again
Goddammit, Gigafreak, I was drinking something when I read that.
I suspect Danny gives off pheromones that only emotionally unstable women can detect.
This WOULD explain how he befriended Ruth in the other universe.
Of course, Danny is related to Basil Flint.
Also, apparently Sal was in the room the whole time Joyce and Bilie were talking? What time is it anyway? I thought Danny and Billy weren’t meeting until the evening, but it seems like he came over right after CompSci class? And do Billie and Joyce not have *any* classes today?
(These questions and more will not be answered in the next episode of Soap–er, DOA.)
Sal mentioned she was free after 2:30, and Joyce said she it just took her the afternoon to decorate her door. So presumably, it’s late afternoon/early evening.
Sal sleeps while wearing fig leaves? Sal is weird.
Sal is weird? No, this is weird:
Its Japan. Of course its weird.
WTF was that? Even for Japan, that was demented.
Having lived and worked there (Shiga Prefecture) I have to say, yes, even for Japan that’s weird.
Happa-tai is awesome.
Is so easy! Happy go lucky. We are the wad of dough…
So Sal wears a leaf to bed?
Wait, no, hang on.
Is it kind of weird that I’ve only just noticed Joyce is still wearing the shirt she loaned to Sal, except she just has a black sweater vest over it?
It actually works surprisingly well for mixing pastels with blacks.
And yet she keeps the gloves on. Is it weird that I think that’s hot?
She probably wears them to hide the scar.
I would think her hands would be all sweaty and wrinkled. Probably wouldn’t smell nice either, she should at least take off the gloves when she is sleeping.
Again, the scar. I imagine she is ashamed of it.
If the Garden of Eden had panties.
So, all the bits covered with leaves and stuff?
And how exactly would joyce know that off hand?
I remember this, Joyce almost died
She woke Sal up once. When Sal sat up, Joyce was surprised to learn this herself.
I actually kind of think this is kind of nice of Joyce to do, it’s just showing general decency. I also think its adorably Joyce to shut her own eyes at the same time hahaa
Rebels don’t look at other rebels’ boobies (what’s Joyce speak for boobies anyway?).
I think ‘boobies’ would be the most Bible-school-appropriate word. ‘Chest’ might also work.
Hurray! I speek Joyce.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Sal seems to have sigmata, or is the red on the glove to remind us of the never closing wound in her hand? Or just texture to make the glove look more hand-shaped?
The red is a pattern on the glove. It’s always been there. So.
Joyce: “Sal, you know I think you’re super cool and all that, but I’m suddenly getting an urge to fight you over this boy I’ve barely met before.”
Sal: “Fight me? You want him, you can have him.”
Joyce: “But I really feel like we should fight. And… I think I want a… jetpack?”
I approve of this
Same here, and then when they start fighting drunk Billie takes Danny into bathroom and locks the door
The power booster rod is an allegory for Dan’s woody
Then what does he call his Buzz Lightyear?
The Mechanic steals it from Danny, and Grimlock orders Blaster and Goldbugs to get it back?
Goldbug. Lousy Decepticorrect!
I was about to say that Joyce was indeed creepy.
I don’t get it…doesn’t everyone sleep in the sartorial manner of the mythical garden of eden? Then you’ve those who sleep naked and those who sleep nude. As for me I sleep and don’t much worry if I’m clothed.
I sleep with underwear on, but last time I said that in the comments, someone said that I was weird for doing it.
I mean, I’m sure you’re weird for other reasons, but not for that one.
WHO. WEARS. GLOVES. TO. SLEEP.
Also: Joyce & Danny, adorable interaction.
People with disfiguring scars on their hands representing a traumatic event inspired by years of parental bias.
Which Sal doesn’t even seem to remember, so..
Garden of Eden style, but with gloves?
Doesn’t she wear underwear, too?
Sal/Danny, Ethan/Danny… I’m starting to ship the boy with anyone except Amber. =/
Man, Amber can’t even beat Sal in the polls…
I’m not really sure why not. I mean, sure, Sal smokes, drinks, and rides a motorcycle, but Amber wall-flipped over Dorothy and Walky, parkoured through a tree onto a building, then leaped off it and slid down a power line onto the top of a moving truck. And then proceeded on to beat a fully-grown man senseless with her bare hands. And that was just Sunday.
Yeah, then Amber had an emotional freakout, accosted a (relatively) innocent person and her friends over an ancient vendetta, got totally owned in the encounter by, y’know, Sal, who had her pegged from moment one. Then she proceeded to spend the rest of the night staring at the ceiling waiting for the police to come take her away.
Don’t get me wrong, Amber is a badass, but she’s also got a lot of pretty down-to-earth qualities that balance that out.
Sleeping goes to induce psl.
GoE style. id pry joyce’s hands off of my eyes and spout so bible ish about how being embarrassed about how you look and hideing under clothes wasnt what god intended but actually stems from the sin of eating the apple. and see if i can work joyce into giving me a show later too
HEY where’s the next panel that’s from Joyce’s POV…. dang it!!!! i think we need a special panel… somewhere.
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Who is the bad-assest?
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