Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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by David M Willis on July 30, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit
└ Tags: joyce, walky

Discussion (188) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. An Average Loser
    An Average Loser
    July 30, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Worried Walky worries me.

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      Worried Walky worries while wily women wander while waxing wonderfully

      • JimmyMcNuggets
        JimmyMcNuggets
        July 30, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

        Sure, joke it up. Not like an old friend’s having a crisis or anything.

        • dailybrad
          dailybrad
          July 30, 2014 at 1:23 am | #

          Don’t take it too personally. Hell, look at any given Danny strip, and you’ll see people are here for puns, jokes and alliteration as much as actually paying attention to the context. I don’t think any disrespect to the situation is intended.

          • RevenantBacon
            RevenantBacon
            July 30, 2014 at 2:34 am | #

            Yeah, besides, there’s ALWAYS a problem in a Danny strip. It’s always a mystery(and usually quite hilarious) to find out what he’s gonna “Dan” up next.

            • Led
              Led
              July 30, 2014 at 3:35 am | #

              He’s the Eric Forman of the dumbiverse 😀

              • ShaggyDonahugh
                ShaggyDonahugh
                July 30, 2014 at 6:30 pm | #

                Oh please don’t say that. It’s depressing.

      • Anon
        Anon
        July 30, 2014 at 9:00 pm | #

        Siege of Avalon? :O

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    July 30, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Don’t forget the finger thing

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Foolproof birth control indeed.

      • Kennerly
        Kennerly
        July 30, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        That depends where the finger’s been.

        • Robert
          Robert
          July 30, 2014 at 1:23 am | #

          Possibly the birth canal?

  3. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Her panties have a Retina scan.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Fuck, the Alt Text beat me to it!

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        July 30, 2014 at 4:55 am | #

        Wherever you go, the Alt Text’s already been there. Of course that includes Dorothy’s panties.

        Also, your mom.

        • Ocbrad1
          Ocbrad1
          July 30, 2014 at 9:28 am | #

          Your comment made me giggle. +1 internet for you.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 30, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      You need presidential clearance to access.

      That’s why she needs to become president, it’s getting frustrating.

      • Cheryl
        Cheryl
        July 30, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        AHAHHAHAHAAHHA

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        There’s a comic on Slipshine that says otherwise.

        • Blob Marley
          Blob Marley
          July 30, 2014 at 11:56 am | #

          Unless Walky is a time traveler!

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        July 30, 2014 at 4:57 am | #

        Flawless reasoning is flawless ^^

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 30, 2014 at 9:53 pm | #

        Well played.

  4. Nono
    Nono
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Joyce in a new outfit!

    It looks… pretty good actually.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 30, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      She’s dressed to match Walky.

    • Camachri
      Camachri
      July 30, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      It’s so odd seeing Joyce in a cool-coloured ensemble, but it works.

    • Björn
      Björn
      July 30, 2014 at 4:21 am | #

      Joyce needs to keep her hair in a ponytail. Always.

      Also, that jacket. Yes.

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 30, 2014 at 9:41 pm | #

        Yes, always.
        </brain>

  5. sps48
    sps48
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    And Walky has only one key

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      Danny has the other.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        July 30, 2014 at 6:20 am | #

        They have to use their keys together to enter Dorothy. But they can’t let the keychains touch, that’s gay.

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      July 30, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      I wonder if he points a gun at Dorothy and tells her to turn her key if she hesitates???

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        July 30, 2014 at 4:32 am | #

        Like this?

        • Dorje Sylas
          Dorje Sylas
          July 30, 2014 at 11:24 am | #

          That sequence always gives me terror chills.

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 30, 2014 at 9:45 pm | #

        Was totally thinking of that also.

  6. Tacdud2
    Tacdud2
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    A worried Walky keeps the doctor away.

  7. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    The chastity belt is a bit overkill…it’s an Everlast!.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      July 30, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

      I did a vendor search for that… 😛

      • Shawn L.
        Shawn L.
        July 30, 2014 at 2:46 am | #

        Vendor search, hell. You need an IMDB search for that joke.

        (Though, it was better when it was a visual gag. Doing the joke verbally for a 2nd time in the film highlighted how weak a joke it was to begin with)

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          July 30, 2014 at 1:15 pm | #

          Well searchin Everlast’s online store led me to a link from the scene in Men in Tights, so it’s not like I didn’t get it eventually.

    • JaneDoe
      JaneDoe
      July 30, 2014 at 1:56 pm | #

      Uh oh, it’s stuck. Call a locksmith!

  8. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Where would the keys go into?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 30, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I’ll tell you when you’re older.

    • Bill
      Bill
      July 30, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      Think “Goldeneye”:

      Ourumov walks toward a large control panel and slides the GoldenEye in a slot, and hands a key to Xenia.  They slide the keys in…
      Ourumov: “On my count… 3… 2… 1!”
      They turn the keys at the same time.  It activates the electronic map on the wall.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      July 30, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

      Walky. He’s got some interesting kinks.

  9. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    July 30, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Dotty’s womb is at DEFCON-4.

    • Gka
      Gka
      August 1, 2014 at 6:07 pm | #

      So, it has only minimal additional intelligence and security efforts above the norm? DEFCON-5 is the lowest alert level, and it scales up to 1 from there (DEFCON-1 meaning imminent nuclear war).

  10. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    July 30, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Why does joyce think Dorothy being pregnant would be a bad thing?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 30, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Because they’re not married, dude. That shit’s Blasphemy apparently!

      • SUGauthor
        SUGauthor
        July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        Also they’re both 18/19 and it would effectively ruin Dorothy’s future career.

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          July 30, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

          Not necessarily. Depends on Dorothy’s stance on abortion and how accessible that kind of thing is in the fine state of Indiana.

          And even then there’s still adoption and such to consider.

          I mean, I’ll grant that if anyone ever found out there’d be problems with her running for office. But not ones that are necessarily insurmountable.

          • dailybrad
            dailybrad
            July 30, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

            True, but Joyce would not for a moment consider abortion a possibility, probably, certainly not as the first option to come to mind. That’s how she is.

            • Wack'd
              Wack'd
              July 30, 2014 at 1:29 am | #

              I wasn’t suggesting she would, only that SUGauthor’s assertion that Dorothy’s career is “effectively ruined” should she get pregnant is a false one.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            July 30, 2014 at 10:33 am | #

            The girl’s also an atheist. An atheist getting elected president in America is already such a long shot, having it widely known that she’s a baby murdering atheist would pop that soap bubble with extreme prejudice.

            • kelticat
              kelticat
              July 30, 2014 at 1:04 pm | #

              Not necessarily, considering that Millenials are getting turned off of religion by religious conservatives.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          July 30, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

          Nah, she just needs to run in a conservative state. Fifteen million kids starting at age 18 to parade around seems to be their thing. :/

    • jose231ful
      jose231ful
      July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Premarital hanky panky!!

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        July 30, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        D’aww, Little baby boy/girl “Premarital Hanky Panky” Walkerton.

        • Arkadi
          Arkadi
          July 30, 2014 at 5:00 am | #

          P.H.P. Walkerton! Yes. It has a nice ring to it ^^

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      While pregnancy I of itself isn’t a bad thing, it would really put a damper on her plans for the future.

      • Ivan
        Ivan
        July 30, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        It seemed to work well for the stupidest VP candidate ever put on this earth!

        • Catullus
          Catullus
          July 30, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          Dan Quayle got pregnant?!?

          • Ivan
            Ivan
            July 30, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

            That man was a genius by comparison. I’m from Indiana, and I remember the day… He was a lousy speaker, but at least he knew what he was talking about on committee (the Chicken-Hawk Committee).

            If Dan could have gotten pregnant from watching Murphy Brown, it would have happened – that I’m certain of.

          • Maveric1984
            Maveric1984
            July 30, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

            No, Gerald Ford.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            July 30, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

            Most VPs after the 12th amendment would fall in this category.

          • Bill
            Bill
            July 30, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

            Catullus, I award you ALL the internetz.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Cos it’s not hers? 😛

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 30, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Not to mention I don’t think they would be able to handle raising a baby at this point of they’re lives.

      • jose231ful
        jose231ful
        July 30, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        newllend that’s where your wrong 3 easy rules to follow
        1. Keep it right in front of the tv everyday for at least 3 hours.
        2. If it cried shake it!
        3. Babies are attention hungry so ignore it 😀

        • Ivan
          Ivan
          July 30, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

          Bah…

          Bus station toilets or convenient dumpsters are popular in the midwest.

  11. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    July 30, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Wow, no one made this joke yet?

    Did you have trouble turning her key, Walky? Do you turn yours first?

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Well done Agentkeen well done we almost lost an opportunity on that Mission accomplished.

  12. newllend
    newllend
    July 30, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Well fuck you Joyce automatically assuming shit.

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      July 30, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      Well, she knows that Walky and Dorothy are doing the PMHP.

      And I doubt that she’s been raised to know that modern technology allows for a sex life with minimal risk of complications, as long as everyone’s minimally careful.

      I mean, I went to public school, and sex ed still boiled down to “if you have sex before you’re married, there WILL be pregnancy and death from horrible, horrible STIs.”

      • lizza
        lizza
        July 30, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

        Dang, I went to public school and they were like, “Abstinence is the best, only 100% foolproof way to not get pregnant. But if you DO have sex, here’s what you can do to keep yourself safe and hopefully not pregnant. Oh and by the way, here are the consequences if you have unsafe sex.” It was pretty comprehensive and informative.

        • Blob Marley
          Blob Marley
          July 30, 2014 at 11:59 am | #

          Yeah, I went to high school in Maryland and they gave us the lowdown on various safe methods. THEN they scared the piss out of us with STD pictures.

    • Carriethedragon
      Carriethedragon
      July 30, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      Kind of harsh? She’s naive, has an overactive imagination, and has been taught her whole life that if you engage in premarital hanky-panky there DEFINITELY WILL be negative consequences. Plus, she cares more about Dorothy than Walky, so of course her mind jumps to Dorothy.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      July 30, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      hey now, her faith in god leaves little to no room for faith in anyone else (least of all herself).

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 30, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

      Out of all things that could be wrong why does she assume that its a little Rude.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        July 30, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

        If she knew what was and was not rude, she might not be so mean to Dina.

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        July 30, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

        Haven’t you heard? God only allows sex for having babies, so of course you get pregnant every time you have sex.

        Or, at least, that’s the case in half the fanfic on FF.net. 😐

        Considering my husband and I had basically given up after two years of trying before we were able to conceive, I have my doubts about this theory.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          July 30, 2014 at 1:08 pm | #

          Fanfiction.net LIED to us about sex. They LIED!!!

          I’m sorry about your situation – media are really, really bad at representing people who have difficulties to conceive.

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        July 30, 2014 at 5:06 am | #

        I suppose Always Assume the Worst (for those who follow Ungodly Ways) must be Fundie 101. Joyce is probably amazed that the people around her aren’t stricken by the righteous fury of God on a daily basis.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          July 30, 2014 at 9:52 am | #

          I just did a few quick Google searches. 48% of the United States are not Protestant and therefore damned in Joyce’s eyes.

          The odds of being struck by lightning in the United States each year are 1 in 700,000.

          I wonder which is the more amusing mental image:
          1) The Lord being far more chill than Joyce believes, relaxing on a big fluffy cloud and shaking Leonardo Da Vinci’s hand, completely oblivious that one of His followers is trying to ‘fix’ another gay dude
          2) The Lord seething with rage at all the stuff Joyce keeps pointing out, throwing a whole bunch of lightning bolts at sinners, being repeatedly foiled by lightningrods, trees, and the Faraday-cage protection that automobiles provide, and then running out of ammo after being able to successfully smite, like, ONE guy

          • Bill
            Bill
            July 30, 2014 at 3:28 pm | #

            Or 3) God reclining on his Golden Throne, secure in the knowledge that they’ve all gotta come past Him in the end and at that point He will definitely fix their little red wagon.

      • PlainMarie
        PlainMarie
        July 30, 2014 at 11:07 am | #

        That was my reaction too. It’s a little offensive to assume the most scandalous thing you can imagine. There are so many *other* things that could go wrong, and none of them involve PMHP.

    • Jen
      Jen
      July 30, 2014 at 8:40 am | #

      Joyce is also currently very obsessed with thoughts of pre-marital hanky panky (and wanting to do it with Ethan but feeling guilty for wanting it) and relationships in general, so if anyone else is having issues, her mind immediately would jump to that. Plus, that’s the big drama in her life right now. It may have happened over a month ago in real time, but in DOA time, she just found out they’re having sex and is still processing the info. 🙂

  13. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    July 30, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    YAY, JOYCE IS BACK!

  14. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    July 30, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    “Basically the path to her ovaries is the long hallway of doors from MST3K.”

    • Stevecharb
      Stevecharb
      July 30, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      AAAH WE GOT OVARIES SIGN

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      July 30, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Those of us who are a little older picture instead the hallway of doors from Get Smart.

      • nekobawt
        nekobawt
        July 30, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        now i’m picturing walky saying “missed it by THAT MUCH”, which i guess could be a joke about accidental anal…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          July 30, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

          “Would you believe…”

          • nekobawt
            nekobawt
            July 30, 2014 at 12:20 pm | #

            that actually happened to me, or it would have if my pointing out the error in his trajectory hadn’t undermined my partner’s sexual confidence. for several months. (my being asexual-and-unaware-of-it-so-i-couldn’t-be-straightforward-about-it didn’t help anything, but dude had so many issues…)

            • kelticat
              kelticat
              July 30, 2014 at 1:14 pm | #

              That just made me think of the time my dad gave my mom a suppository and her response was “You put it in the wrong hole.”

              • Roborat
                Roborat
                July 30, 2014 at 1:23 pm | #

                Why do you know that???

  15. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 30, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Nuclear Family Way?

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      July 30, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

      OK I tried to post a link to the chapter of PS 238 about the Nuclear Family, but the dang thing didn’t post.

  16. Scott
    Scott
    July 30, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Now, the intelligent person says “I went to bed alone last night and when I woke up Billy was there.” It’s an unambiguous statement that also negates you of any wrongdoing. How will Walky screw this up? Let’s watch.

    • jose231ful
      jose231ful
      July 30, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      I woke up to see Billie in my bed. As many misunderstandings as possible is always better 😀

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        Don’t forget to mention the lack of pants.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 30, 2014 at 8:20 am | #

        Maximum misunderstanding? That would probably be:

        I slept with a hot asian chick last night. Now, I can’t get her out of my mind. I’ve known her for years, but, after last night… I just can’t stop thinking about her.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          July 30, 2014 at 8:22 am | #

          I really need to see her again!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 30, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      I woke up right next to a cute, asian,well endowed, hung-over chick. Dang, I should’ve just called her Billie.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        July 30, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

        The line-break after “hung-” makes it parse as “Well endowed, hung.” Suggesting that Billie has a huge penis.

        Perhaps someone viewed the majesty of the thing and decorated the Clark wing whiteboards with illustrations of it so that all might bask in its glory?

    • Kathleen
      Kathleen
      July 30, 2014 at 3:12 am | #

      You miss the point: the social dilemma is whether or not you tell someone that you’re worried about your friend’s personal emotional stuff. Billie probably wouldn’t want Walky telling people. Even if you said “I need to check on Billie” for vague reasons, it’s still cause of alarm.

  17. liahansen
    liahansen
    July 30, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    JoycexWalky friendship is my favorite thing

  18. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    July 30, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Walky just needs to make sure the cat didn’t tear up all his furniture.

  19. -Sentinel-
    -Sentinel-
    July 30, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Until/unless he gets oficially named, I’m gonna assume the guy at the far right of the first panel is me.

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      July 30, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      You are “IU Crowd Scene GEEK #12” ??

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        July 30, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

        HE IS NOT A NUMBER, HE IS A FREE MAN

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          July 30, 2014 at 4:42 am | #

          His number is not connected.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          July 30, 2014 at 6:14 pm | #

          If a student tries to escape from Indiana University, do they get assaulted by a screaming weather balloon?

  20. Khaner
    Khaner
    July 30, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    He takes regular pills and has to see the school infirmary because perscription drugs are reguarly banned on campus?
    Also, can hipster guy in panel 2 get a name and backstory? I bet he’s a weed smoking, guitar playing TV Production major trying to create work to fight the system, man!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 30, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      He doesn’t want one as backstories are sooo mainstream. 😀

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      July 30, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

      Creating work to fight the system with a television major? Hah!

      • Khaner
        Khaner
        July 30, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

        He’s not a very good hipster…

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          July 30, 2014 at 1:27 pm | #

          Well, being a good hipster is soooo mainstream.

  21. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 30, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    These DoA expressions will never get old, just like the characters themselves.

  22. FuryOfFirestorm
    FuryOfFirestorm
    July 30, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    The best birth control requires the President to scan his handprint and enter an encrypted code that changes every 24 hours.

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      No wonder Dorothy wants to be President.

  23. newllend
    newllend
    July 30, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    So what the is up with Walky anyway still shaken up about the Billie thing?

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      They did grow up together after all. Imagine if your sister was obviously hurting, and you couldn’t help.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        July 30, 2014 at 10:45 am | #

        This. Their relationship practically IS brother-and-sister. To the point where even SHE forgets she isn’t the Walkertons’ kid sometimes.

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      July 30, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

      Emotional reactions in general are kind of a new thing for Walky. He doesn’t have them well calibrated yet.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      July 30, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

      Billie and Walky go way back, and Walky is a blunt guy who can be inconsiderate, but he isn’t heartless, especially given he doesn’t know if Ruth got through to Billie or not, assuming Billie didn’t text him or anything to let him know she was alright. It’s reasonable that Walky would want to know her wellbeing

      • 4th Dimension
        4th Dimension
        July 30, 2014 at 7:15 am | #

        Yes, but where is he going? They are leving the dorms.

        • Blackbird
          Blackbird
          July 30, 2014 at 8:10 am | #

          They’re leaving the building where their math class is. Thisis after class and Walky’s headed back to the dorms.

  24. Ivan
    Ivan
    July 30, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    I think Walky just said “Dorothy only takes it in the butt, Bob!”

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I have seen pictures that show that’s not the case 😉

  25. Maveric1984
    Maveric1984
    July 30, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    This punch line is obviously a response to all the people who were predicting that Dorothy was going to get pregnant after WPAS isn’t it?

    So we know they use condoms, and that Dotty is on birth control (per Willis’s comments), so there’s two layers. Does she take a Plan B afterwards too?

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      That would be a horrific way to live your life – Plan B each time you get laid?

      • Maveric1984
        Maveric1984
        July 30, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        I never said it was pleasant, just effective.

    • Carriethedragon
      Carriethedragon
      July 30, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      How many birth control methods could Dorothy use at once? Having consulted the Planned Parenthood website, about 7: implant, patch, pill, shot, cycle-counting, condom, spermicide. (It’s 8 if you think it’d be possible for her to have an IUD at 18/19, which I doubt. And I’d be awfully surprised if WPAS included her using any female condoms or the like, so I haven’t included that.)

      • Tom T.
        Tom T.
        July 30, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

        Plus, she has Walky pull out and finish in one of Sierra’s shoes. That’s why Sierra goes barefoot all the time.

        • Ivan
          Ivan
          July 30, 2014 at 7:54 am | #

          WINS THE THREAD!

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            July 30, 2014 at 1:29 pm | #

            The second judge agrees.

      • Roz
        Roz
        July 30, 2014 at 2:32 am | #

        These days IUDs are actually recommended even for adolescents, so 8 is totally possible 🙂

  26. Matt
    Matt
    July 30, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Is there a way to view the alt text on an iPad? I always feel like I’m missing half the joke…

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      July 30, 2014 at 4:46 am | #

      Yes.

      There is a retina scan involved, though.

    • Loki
      Loki
      July 30, 2014 at 8:45 am | #

      Yes – touch the blank area left of the “First”/right of the “Latest” button.

  27. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    July 30, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Currently they’re using a fingerprint scanner.

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      If Walky is a good student, maybe they’ll change that to a tongue print scanner

      • Boomwolf97
        Boomwolf97
        July 30, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        weird considering they already skipped to a phalic scanner… we’re still talking sex right?

        • Maveric1984
          Maveric1984
          July 30, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          Yeah, but that sensor wouldn’t be effective as he was wearing a condom

  28. Catullus
    Catullus
    July 30, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    I don’t even want to imagine how long a pregnancy storyline would last, considering DoA’s pacing.

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      July 30, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      Considering the characters will never age, Dotty will likely never realize she was “late”. So if it floats your boat, she *is* pregnant, and just hasn’t found out yet.

    • jose231ful
      jose231ful
      July 30, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      That would eat up a few years seeing how they are in about a month or two after almost 4 years :p

  29. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    July 30, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    I like the detail that Joyce and Walky tend to get lunch together after class. It keeps their arguments from feeling too mean-spirited.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      July 30, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

      They’re such odd friends, but it works for them.

  30. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    July 30, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Pregnant Dorothy is probably Joyce’s ultimate bittersweet nightmare. Less time with Dorothy yet the possibility of a tiny future president to hurl effection at, and still the very real probability that it would be half Walky! Spoooky stuff.

  31. Mike
    Mike
    July 30, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Given the scandals in American nuclear forces over the past year, Walky is not giving any reassurance here.

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      July 30, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      Everyone open their envelopes to set the PALs.

      Ready?

      :::: 0-0-0 ::::

  32. shietka
    shietka
    July 30, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    No matter how many times I look at that last panel, I can’t help but see it as a panel from some cheesy action or sci-fi comic. “He’s not moving. What did you do, Walky?” “I did what I had to do.”

  33. chris73
    chris73
    July 30, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    Would it have been a tad crass for Walky to say “up the bum means no babies” in response to Joyce?

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      July 30, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      It would give her something new to focus on, since she’s probably still trying to figure out the whole Ethan deal and the Unicorn headband!

  34. JoeMerl
    JoeMerl
    July 30, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

    Five minutes later, I bet Joyce would have bypassed the “shameful sin” stage and gone right to “picking out baby names and planning their wedding.”

  35. Just Me
    Just Me
    July 30, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

    Last panel Walky looks so much more mature than he usually does. Guess there’s hope for him yet.

  36. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    July 30, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

    I missed something. What is he in such a hurry to get where ever he’s going?
    Last I knew, he left Billie with Ruth, so he has that more less under control. He was heading for class, and running late, so how would that be a problem to tell anyone?
    Lastly, Dorothy is in class by now, so he wouldn’t be running to her to tell her what he just did….would he? Why would he do that? Not exactly something his GF wants to hear…ah say, I woke up in be next to Billie this morning???

    • Camachri
      Camachri
      July 30, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      Just leaving Billie with Ruth isn’t a guarantee that things turned out hunky-dory. After all, Ruth wasn’t exactly enthusiastic when Walky asked her to talk to Billie. And from being in similar situations, I assure you that the anticipation that something’s gone horribly wrong is enough to make you hurry on your way faster.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      July 30, 2014 at 1:36 am | #

      Dorothy would probably know Walky enough to know that it is far more likely they woke up next to each other due to some binge eating induced coma than sex. Walky is a lot of things, but he isn’t a philanderer, particularly with someone he has said is like a sister to him.

  37. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    July 30, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

    Agree, leaving Ruth with Billie is not guarantee, BUT Walky doesn’t know that. He has no idea of their relationship as it now stands.
    He just did the only think the could think to do, that would in ordinary circumstances, be a good thing. He got the RA.
    So, I’m still wondering why he just doesn’t say “I’m late for class”.
    I think even Walky should know better than to “feed the Joyce”.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      July 30, 2014 at 1:22 am | #

      Walky’s next class is with Joyce. They get lunch together in between them, as the second panel reminds us. I am pretty sure “I am late for class” will not fly with her, for those important reasons.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      July 30, 2014 at 1:24 am | #

      Because she knows he doesn’t have class now. They usually go get lunch.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      July 30, 2014 at 1:38 am | #

      if he was going to feed the joyce, they’d get lunch, silly.

  38. gbshane
    gbshane
    July 30, 2014 at 1:45 am | #

    How do I access the alt text? I swear I’ve searched this site up and down but I couldn’t find anything so is it just some sort of running joke between people who know it really doesn’t exist?

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      July 30, 2014 at 5:00 am | #

      Try looking at the source code.

      If that doesn’t help, read the documentation and peruse the source again.

    • Loki
      Loki
      July 30, 2014 at 8:49 am | #

      Move your mouse cursor over the image and wait a few seconds, or if you are on a touchscreen device, do this: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/check/#comment-245140

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        July 31, 2014 at 5:33 am | #

        Sure, if you want to make it easy.

  39. Kol
    Kol
    July 30, 2014 at 2:32 am | #

    Am I the only one who thinks Joyce is adorable right now?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      July 30, 2014 at 10:46 am | #

      Joyce is pretty much always adorable unless something horrible is falling out of her mouth or she’s reacting violently to hanky-panky.

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 30, 2014 at 9:51 pm | #

        This.

        (Also, the opportunity for icon triplets was too good to pass up.)

  40. Artemis
    Artemis
    July 30, 2014 at 3:06 am | #

    I miss Dorothy and Walky soooooo much<3

  41. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    July 30, 2014 at 4:53 am | #

    Walky, DON’T give people ideas. Seriously, don’t.

  42. Orangey
    Orangey
    July 30, 2014 at 5:07 am | #

    I’m half hoping that Walky manages to tell Joyce that he’s worried about Billie without mucking it up somehow, because I’m certain Joyce will come with to try and make her feel better. And what Billie needs is her friends right now, even if she thinks she doesn’t have any.

  43. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 30, 2014 at 5:34 am | #

    That’s the Dorothy we know and love. She doesn’t leave important things to chance and Amazi-condoms alone.

    I bet Joyce is trying to figure out if “turning the keys” are some sort of hanky-panky euphemism and if she should be embarrassed.

  44. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    July 30, 2014 at 6:24 am | #

    For absolute birth control just do it in the ass.

    • TFC
      TFC
      July 30, 2014 at 7:58 am | #

      I hate to burst your bubble, but that method ain’t aboslute.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        July 30, 2014 at 10:48 am | #

        For absolute birth control, move to another country and only communicate by carrier pigeon.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          July 30, 2014 at 2:53 pm | #

          I heard there’s this thing called “homosexuality” that works

          …unless you do it all wrong like AU Robin and Leslie…

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        July 30, 2014 at 3:25 pm | #

        If you let something that was in your ass get in your vagina you deserve to be pregnant from poor hygene alone.

  45. Animal
    Animal
    July 30, 2014 at 8:54 am | #

    When our daughters were growing up, Mrs. Animal’s late Grandmom (a self-described “tough old broad” who outlived five husbands) described the only sure-fire, 100% birth control method she knew of: “Take two aspirins, and hold them between your knees.”

    With that said, I bet anyone here five bucks that Mrs. A and I have also achieved 100% prevention without the necessity of doing without.

    • Doc
      Doc
      July 30, 2014 at 9:11 am | #

      I was helping my mother clean up my family’s section of a cemetery. I found a grave where the gravestone said “Survived five husbands”. I asked my dad about the woman. He said “I met her once. You know why the husbands all died? Because they wanted to”.

  46. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 30, 2014 at 10:38 am | #

    Regarding the simultaneous key-turn… Willis, you should NOT be deliberately invoking Rule 35 like that.

  47. Roborat
    Roborat
    July 30, 2014 at 1:37 pm | #

    I thought both partners turning the key at the same time was the best way of finishing the process. That is what the youngsters are calling it nowadays, right?

  48. Regalli
    Regalli
    July 30, 2014 at 2:01 pm | #

    Walky, you continue to be awesomely concerned about your friend’s wellbeing and the boundaries about telling people about it. Go you, Walky.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 30, 2014 at 5:52 pm | #

      Hear, hear!

  49. halcyon1234
    halcyon1234
    July 30, 2014 at 5:51 pm | #

    My mind skipped ahead of the punchline there.
    “The only way her birth control methods could be more secure is if we both had two X chromosomes.”
    Which would make him Sal. Which I’m sure is well-trod ground in the fanart community.

  50. Some Dude
    Some Dude
    August 1, 2014 at 3:46 am | #

    Wait… is a shaven version of the dude who tried to assault Joyce?

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