Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 1, 2026

Maple Leafs

by David M Willis on March 29, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - The Butterflies Won't Fly Away
└ Tags: jennifer, rachel, sierra

Discussion (202) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Disloyal Subject
    Disloyal Subject
    March 29, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Smooth, Billie.

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      March 29, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      She’s still high on Ruth loving.

      • Dreadhawk177
        Dreadhawk177
        March 29, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

        Oh wait, I’m not wearing my Leafs pants, am I?

        • Screwball
          Screwball
          March 29, 2015 at 12:26 pm | #

          Guess she better hope the spare key isn’t on TOP of the door frame, or people might find out how many lower layers she’s actually wearing…

          • Undrave
            Undrave
            March 29, 2015 at 12:32 pm | #

            Don’t worry, Sal is probably still passed out in front of the door.

            • Screwball
              Screwball
              March 29, 2015 at 1:34 pm | #

              Ah yes, almost forgot that. Mind you, lifting heavy items (such as lifting human sized & weighted lumps) can cause wardrobe shifting too. Again, potential lower layer count opportunity…

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 29, 2015 at 2:24 am | #

        And alcohol, sadly

        • Yet_One_More_Idiot
          Yet_One_More_Idiot
          March 29, 2015 at 6:40 am | #

          But Ruthie-lovin’ will give her a bigger and longer-lasting high than the alcohol.

          Not least because alcohol doesn’t give a high, it’s a downer. xD

          • Narf
            Narf
            March 29, 2015 at 7:35 pm | #

            “High” is a subjective term and I believe there are many people who would argue that alcohol does, in fact, give them what could be called a “high.” 😉

          • Planken
            Planken
            March 29, 2015 at 8:36 pm | #

            For you perhaps. I get pretty damn happy on alcohol.xD

            • -Sentinel-
              -Sentinel-
              March 30, 2015 at 11:26 am | #

              I get happy AND sleepy.

    • GoogerGeiger
      GoogerGeiger
      March 29, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Billie Jean’s a smooth criminal.

      …………..sorry

      • Arikel
        Arikel
        March 29, 2015 at 5:25 am | #

        oh my god

      • Chris
        Chris
        March 29, 2015 at 9:51 am | #

        But she isn’t wearing any pants!

  2. Jimmeh the Bear
    Jimmeh the Bear
    March 29, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    GO LEAFS… Leaves? Leeeeefs?

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      March 29, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      Leaves is the correct pluralization of the word, but team names laugh in the face of correctness.

      • a snow ʍousɐ
        a snow ʍousɐ
        March 29, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        Leafs is a verb , hough.

        • ANeM
          ANeM
          March 29, 2015 at 1:16 am | #

          According to the Maple Leafs, they were named in honour of the Maple Leaf regiment that fought in WW1. In this case “Maple Leaf” would be a proper noun, and as such pluralizes to “Maple Leafs” rather than “Maple Leaves.”

          • a snow ʍousɐ
            a snow ʍousɐ
            March 29, 2015 at 12:43 pm | #

            Hmm. True, but I wasn’t arguing whether the pluralization was correct. I was just idly remarking that the improper “leafs” is in fact a real word.

          • Eyebrow
            Eyebrow
            March 29, 2015 at 6:37 pm | #

            Well done!

            Or you could look at it as a headless compound. A maple leaf is a kind of leaf, and so follows the normal pluralization of ‘leaf’ to ‘leaves’. A Maple Leaf is a kind of regiment or a kind of hockey team (not a leaf) and so regularizes to ‘leafs’.

            • Marc in MN
              Marc in MN
              March 29, 2015 at 9:26 pm | #

              See, this alone would keep me from being a fan of this team. I can’t in good conscience refer to them as the Maple Leafs as opposed to the Maple Leaves. 😉

        • a snow ʍousɐ
          a snow ʍousɐ
          March 29, 2015 at 12:41 pm | #

          *though
          As in, “she leafs through the copy of Gulliver’s Travels on the window-seat.”

      • qka
        qka
        March 29, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

        Like “celtic” is pronounced “kell tic”, but the basketball team is “sell tix”.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          March 29, 2015 at 1:19 am | #

          That one still bugs me. The Leafs get a pass, but the Celtics’ fans have yet to provide me a satisfactory explanation.

          • Charlie Spencer
            Charlie Spencer
            March 29, 2015 at 9:13 am | #

            That’s what bugs you? I’m having a hard time buying four students at an Indiana college are interested in a Canadian team. Sure, I can see one jersey-wearing supporter, but three more living on the same floor with enough knowledge to discuss them?

            • Raijink
              Raijink
              March 29, 2015 at 10:35 am | #

              A Canadian team in the sport of hockey, though. If they’re sports fans of any kind then they’re likely to have some awareness of at least the Maple Leafs and the Canadiens.

              • Charlie Spencer
                Charlie Spencer
                March 29, 2015 at 1:09 pm | #

                I’m aware of them, but I couldn’t tell you if they’re any good or comment on their fan bases. Maybe it’s just because I live in South Carolina. The nearest team plays at least 3.5 hours away (Hurricanes). I recall there used to be a team in Atlanta (also 3.5 hours) but I couldn’t tell you if they’re still there.

                • Kat
                  Kat
                  March 30, 2015 at 6:20 am | #

                  They are not.

            • Tanarin
              Tanarin
              March 29, 2015 at 10:59 am | #

              Also remember, Toronto is considered one of the “Original Six” teams in hockey. They have a fanbase similar in size to say… Yankees/Red Sox in baseball or Green Bay in Football. Being around as long as they have also gives them the advantage of easily having numerous fans that transcend borders.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          March 29, 2015 at 2:11 am | #

          wait, you pronounce that “kell tic” in the US ? <_<;

          • AndieStardust
            AndieStardust
            March 29, 2015 at 4:00 am | #

            I don’t but, eh.

          • Bill
            Bill
            March 29, 2015 at 6:08 am | #

            Some of us do.

          • Yet_One_More_Idiot
            Yet_One_More_Idiot
            March 29, 2015 at 6:39 am | #

            Yeah, but even here in the UK, Celtic is pronounced “Kell Tic” when talking about the Celtic people. But the association football team in the Scottish Premier is Glasgow Celtic (“Sell Tic”). So that one breaks the rules in both countries. 😉

          • TachyonCode
            TachyonCode
            March 29, 2015 at 10:34 am | #

            I used to pronounce it “sell tic”, but only because I never heard anybody discuss this and I assumed “cel” should be read exactly as it is when used in “cel shading” or “bacterial cell”.

            Now, after years of talking to people who know their Celtic history, I know better.

        • Anonymous
          Anonymous
          March 29, 2015 at 2:40 am | #

          ‘Celtic’ has been pronounced both ways centuries prior to the basketball team, so I don’t think they get the credit for that one. It has nothing to do with the United States, either.

        • Michael Lanting
          Michael Lanting
          March 29, 2015 at 5:44 am | #

          At least they’re honest about it, the other teams just want to sell tix too…

        • ewx
          ewx
          March 29, 2015 at 6:18 am | #

          UK pronunciations that I’ve heard are initial /s/ for Celtic FC and an initial /k/ for everything else – the language group, art style, etc. The former is consistent with French pronunciation, which in turn is what you’d expect from the sound shifts between classical Latin and French; apparently the /k/ in modern English is a C19th affectation.

          • JesseH
            JesseH
            March 29, 2015 at 9:45 am | #

            First time poster here, but I feel like I should chime in. I’m a linguist and I study the Cornish language, a small Celtic tongue in southwestern Britain (in Cornwall). Traditionally, “sell-tik” has been the dominant pronunciation for the term. It was first applied to peoples in England and Ireland by linguists, describing a language family, and it was a “sell” sound (the term was invented by a linguist named Edward Lhuyd drawing from Roman writings). The Americans (of which I am one!) pronounced it “Kel-tik” because of differences in American and British spellings that led them to read it differently. Because of the dominance of American English globally post-WWII (and especially of the popularity of the Celtics basketball team in the 1980s), the American pronunciation crossed over the Atlantic and made some inroads into Britain.

            • JesseH
              JesseH
              March 29, 2015 at 9:50 am | #

              Ugh. So much for writing in a hurry. Reverse all the “sell” and “Kel” I wrote above. “Sell” is obviously American, “Kel” is British. Beyond that, everything else I said was correct.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          March 29, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

          Maybe it’s purpose-based pronunciation. After all, the sports team is there, in the end, to “sell tix”.

        • Tayo
          Tayo
          March 29, 2015 at 5:54 pm | #

          go celtics! #bleedgreen

        • Ed Rhodes
          Ed Rhodes
          March 29, 2015 at 6:23 pm | #

          I don’t know how to write this phonetically, but my daughter
          used to say;

          Never forget, it’s the Hunchback of Notre Daame (looking for short
          “a” sound) and the Quarterback of Notre Dame (long “a” sound.)

    • Tom
      Tom
      March 29, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      It’s pronounced “leev-zay”

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        March 29, 2015 at 1:13 am | #

        I like your avatar alot. 😉

        • neeks
          neeks
          March 29, 2015 at 4:24 am | #

          I like your comment alot.

      • JWLM
        JWLM
        March 29, 2015 at 6:23 pm | #

        No, it’s prounced Dee-na

    • Gangler
      Gangler
      March 29, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Leaves if you’re talking about foliage. Leafs if you’re talking about hockey players.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        March 29, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

        Yes, that.

      • Vince
        Vince
        March 29, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

        If you’re talking about the Leafs, you’re not talking about hockey players.

        • blackhat64
          blackhat64
          March 29, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

          OHHHHHHHHHH

          *pretends to know about sports simply to acknowledge burn”

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        March 29, 2015 at 9:41 am | #

        This is like ‘dwarfs’ if you’re talking about small humans, ‘dwarves’ if you’re talking about fantasy races.

    • All-purpose guru
      All-purpose guru
      March 29, 2015 at 1:07 am | #

      Yeah, don’t talk about grammar to a Leafs fan.

      Or hockey, either.

  3. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    March 29, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Why was Billy a cheerleader in high school? She should have been in drama club with those acting skills!

    • Orbit Junkie
      Orbit Junkie
      March 29, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      Well she is majoring in…theater…now, so I guess that’s been fixed.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 29, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        I love this comment so much

      • StClair
        StClair
        March 29, 2015 at 6:24 am | #

        She’s a thespian.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          March 29, 2015 at 9:43 am | #

          Hips, lips, all the same rhythm.

  4. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    March 29, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Did she move ALL of her clothes?

    • caramelundqueer
      caramelundqueer
      March 29, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Apparently?

    • John
      John
      March 29, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

      No, just the ones she thinks she should be wearing.

  5. Kitty
    Kitty
    March 29, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    I can’t read “leafs” without twitching.

  6. Kris
    Kris
    March 29, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Billie’s been a diehard Leafs fan for what a week now?

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      March 29, 2015 at 1:18 am | #

      More like seven seconds than seven days.

    • Tofusmith
      Tofusmith
      March 29, 2015 at 3:59 am | #

      I believe she’s a Leafs fan fan

      • Arikel
        Arikel
        March 29, 2015 at 5:26 am | #

        this

  7. Urukak
    Urukak
    March 29, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh man, I love hilarious sports-team-based sitcom misunderstandings!

    • Saru
      Saru
      March 29, 2015 at 1:06 am | #

      I’m also loving the new direction Willis is taking with this comic, I think it will really be a change for the better!

      • John
        John
        March 29, 2015 at 3:05 am | #

        Billie without pants isn’t exactly a new direction, but I’m still in favor of it.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      March 29, 2015 at 3:27 am | #

      I have been waiting so long for hilarious sports-team-based sitcom misunderstandings! My life has been incomplete ever since “Hillary Misunderstands Sports Teams” went off the air in the mid-to-late nineties!

      • HMRC4EVR
        HMRC4EVR
        March 29, 2015 at 10:00 pm | #

        As long as the comic doesn’t turn into ‘Coach’ or ‘The White Shadow’.

  8. winter
    winter
    March 29, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    And now we know why she’s not wearing pants in the new character model.

    • Bill
      Bill
      March 29, 2015 at 8:11 pm | #

      She probably is wearing panties; the shirt/jersey just hangs so low as to cover them.  Imagine if Rachel were wearing the jersey instead of her pink top — it would drape low enough to cover the shorts she is wearing too.

  9. shadowcell@msn.com
    shadowcell@msn.com
    March 29, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    ah, the maple laughs

  10. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    March 29, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Ah, it’s a good thing you don’t have to worry about reality contradicting this and screwing up the sliding timescale any time soon.

    • Urukak
      Urukak
      March 29, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      But what if the Maple Leafs go belly up? WHAT THEN?

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        March 29, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        Well, they haven’t yet, have they?

      • Cattleprod
        Cattleprod
        March 29, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        They’re quite well off financially. Part of the reasons the Leafs will never do well is that they sell out every game despite having the highest ticket prices in the league. So they’re raking in the cash, with zero incentive to spend it on better players. If people will pay to see them lose, why bother trying?

        • Urukak
          Urukak
          March 29, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

          I see. Apropos of nothing, this would also be a fitting description of US politics. And that’s depressing.

        • Moriarty70
          Moriarty70
          March 29, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

          Fun story, I was at last Monday’s game and it was the first time since they opened the ACC that they didn’t sell out. Still a better defeat than most games and almost convincing that they aren’t throwing the season on purpose.

          • All-purpose guru
            All-purpose guru
            March 29, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

            “Still, a better defeat than most” sounds SO much like a Leafs fan

      • John
        John
        March 29, 2015 at 2:37 am | #

        More like stoma up, AM I RIGHT BOTANISTS?

        … I’ll show myself out.

        • Kat
          Kat
          March 30, 2015 at 6:23 am | #

          Hahaha this is the best comment here.

  11. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    March 29, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Man Billie is lacking in common sense, eh?

    • Orbit Junkie
      Orbit Junkie
      March 29, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      And pants!

      • dailybrad
        dailybrad
        March 29, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        She may not have pants on, but I would argue they’re not lacking. Billie gams is nice gams.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          March 29, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

          I wasn’t even noting those (not that you’re wrong) but I’m always happy to applaud freedom from the tyrrany of pants.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      March 29, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      And pants.

      • Orbit Junkie
        Orbit Junkie
        March 29, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        This is perfect.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          March 29, 2015 at 1:25 am | #

          Pants are over-rated anyhow…

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      March 29, 2015 at 3:29 am | #

      She might just be lacking in coffee.

  12. Hannah
    Hannah
    March 29, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    As a Canadian who’s from somewhere other than Ontario, I completely support any and all jokes made at the expense of the Leafs, or Toronto for that matter. 😛

    • Dr.Zeus
      Dr.Zeus
      March 29, 2015 at 1:14 am | #

      As a Canadian from Ontario but not Toronto I fully agree.

    • A Scientist
      A Scientist
      March 29, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

      As not even a Canadian, jokes about the Leafs are always funny.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        March 29, 2015 at 2:14 am | #

        I can’t beleaf you just said that.

        • Garrett
          Garrett
          March 29, 2015 at 3:00 am | #

          Billie is the chief suspect to be the Maple Leaf Jersey Theif

          • wwwhhattt
            wwwhhattt
            March 29, 2015 at 7:16 am | #

            You call that a jersey? It’s just a maple leaf rag.

  13. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    March 29, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    *plays Joni Mitchell’s “Raised On Robbery” on the Muzak*

  14. NF
    NF
    March 29, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

    Billie needs to make like a tree…and get out of that hallway!

    • theheroesofcrash
      theheroesofcrash
      March 29, 2015 at 9:37 am | #

      You made the joke I was gonna make… but you got to it first fair and square. I applaud you, sir.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 29, 2015 at 9:49 am | #

      You made like a Maple Leaf – and failed.

  15. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    March 29, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

    This strip brings up the question of whether Sal knows something is afoot with Billie. Of course it’s entirely possible Sal doesn’t care.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

      From what Sal has seen Billie has been behaving weird since she first came to college. (and to be fair, boffing the RA and drinking is not any weirder than knobbing the TA and drinking).

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        March 29, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

        Yeah, Sal definitely can’t play the high ground card here. Not that she’d want to anyway.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          March 29, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

          The thing that really should be noticed about Billie (and that Walky has noticed) is just how badly she is doing. Her alcoholism is spiraling out of control, her social life is in tatters and the one good things that has happened to her is a relationship with someone who is suicidal and in just as bad a place as herself, a relationship she can’t even let people know about.

          Sadly, I don’t think Sal will notice – or at least not allow herself to notice how badly it is and act upon it.

          • Rabid Rabbit
            Rabid Rabbit
            March 29, 2015 at 1:23 am | #

            Sal has acknowledged worry at not seeing Billie around very often, but I imagine that most of the time her reaction to that is ‘Sweet, no annoying person I’ve been forced to know all my life’.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        March 29, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

        Speaking of which, she may just find Sal in front of her door.

    • Yarrun
      Yarrun
      March 29, 2015 at 1:07 pm | #

      Well, given what she said to her and Marcie, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s figured out some of it by now

    • Smiling Cat
      Smiling Cat
      March 29, 2015 at 3:04 pm | #

      I’m pretty sure when the big reveal happens, everybody on the floor is going to say they already knew.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        March 29, 2015 at 4:03 pm | #

        Awwww. Poor Mary will be so disappointed.

  16. TSB
    TSB
    March 29, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    Wooooooow. If Mary wants to be the one to use their relationship against them she’d better hurry up and get to the blackmailing or whatever because they are going to get busted so bad any minute now.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 29, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

      True, they really don’t need any help.

      …well, you know what I mean.

  17. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 29, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    Hey if thats yours how come it has Ruth’s name on the tag?

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 29, 2015 at 1:12 pm | #

      “Because I stole it from Ruthless & claimed it as my own. As payback. And cause I’m a massive Leafs fan….”
      “But you were just dissing them-”
      “Yeah, that’s how I roll. Later loosers…”

  18. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 29, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    For being a head cheer leader and alpha bongo Billie really is a bad liar. Wow – she’s really toots for real in love with Ruth for her to be this off her game.

    Go leafs.

    • Urukak
      Urukak
      March 29, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

      I get the sense that Billie was never really all that great at being alpha bongo in the first place.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        March 29, 2015 at 6:32 am | #

        I think she was pretty much the stereotypical type. She just didn’t need to lie to pull it off.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      March 29, 2015 at 2:16 am | #

      Hangoveeeeer powered.

  19. Robert
    Robert
    March 29, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

    Too much hooch and hockey will disorient anyone.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      March 29, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      Also, boobs.

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        March 29, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

        And poon, lots and lots of poon.

        • GoogerGeiger
          GoogerGeiger
          March 29, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          And booze.

          • Robert
            Robert
            March 29, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

            I said that already. Booze is hooch…

            • Bagge
              Bagge
              March 29, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

              They DID bring a bottle each….

              • Solenoid
                Solenoid
                March 29, 2015 at 2:07 am | #

                I think this partially explains how confused Billie is. She woke up in a state of tipsiness, rather than the typical hangover.

                • Rycan
                  Rycan
                  March 29, 2015 at 2:54 am | #

                  Woke up drunk? How much would she need to drink in order for her body to be unable to metabolize most of it overnight?

                • neeks
                  neeks
                  March 29, 2015 at 4:29 am | #

                  A sufficient amount over an extended period of time, and both she and Ruth had their own bottle, so….I’d say she had a sufficient amount.

                • timemonkey
                  timemonkey
                  March 29, 2015 at 6:30 am | #

                  She doesn’t have any of the signs of being drunk Willis draws her with.

        • John
          John
          March 29, 2015 at 2:40 am | #

          Oh man, I wasn’t even thinking about poon, now I am. Damn. Which way is up?

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      March 29, 2015 at 3:34 am | #

      I can’t believe no one has said “hooch and cooch” yet.

      Actually I can, otherwise I wouldn’t have said it myself. 😛

  20. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 29, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

    Those wacky leafs fans, always forgetting where they are going and wandering around without pants. Their home games are the best.

    • John
      John
      March 29, 2015 at 2:41 am | #

      Personally I prefer their closet games. Though technically they’re also home games I prefer to think of it as a subway series.

  21. Cheryl
    Cheryl
    March 29, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    BWAHAHAHAHA

  22. Liv
    Liv
    March 29, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    Keep on truckin Billie.

  23. The Wizard
    The Wizard
    March 29, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

    Billie activated my trap card, its called intelligence drain. It forces my enemy to walk outside in something that isn’t theirs, while being in relationship that they are trying to keep hidden.

    • Urukak
      Urukak
      March 29, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

      Really, it’s a wonder they even made a card that’s such a hard counter to drunken masters.

      #mixednerdreferences

  24. John
    John
    March 29, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

    Hey, Billie, you should try, “I’m wearing it ironically. To piss Ruth off.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 29, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

      Unironically, passing yourself off as a hipster by saying that would only cause Billie to lose even more social status.

      • John
        John
        March 29, 2015 at 2:00 am | #

        Still less of a loss of face than posing as a Leafs fan.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          March 29, 2015 at 2:41 am | #

          She should have just claimed that she chose the jersey for its looks rather than any kind of team loyalty.

          • John
            John
            March 29, 2015 at 3:07 am | #

            “Leafs? I thought this was an Avalon jersey.”

    • neeks
      neeks
      March 29, 2015 at 4:31 am | #

      Or “I swiped it from that bongo RA’s room, now we’re even!” Since that’s the cover story, I mean.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        March 29, 2015 at 1:35 pm | #

        I wonder how many people are typing in “bongo” deliberately instead of the word that gets masked by bongo.

        • JWLM
          JWLM
          March 29, 2015 at 6:29 pm | #

          You’ll know when you start seeing spellings like “bogno” and “bgono”.

  25. MightionNY
    MightionNY
    March 29, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

    Of all the times for Mary not to show up. 😀

  26. Em
    Em
    March 29, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

    BILLIE YOU IDIOT.

    Maybe not wear JUST your RA’s shirt out in the hall? You could pass off the RA’s shirt by saying something had happened to yours and you demanded that Ruth give you one to wear. But that is CLEARLY a “I just fucked my RA” style you have going on. Luckily you ran into a group of people who have chosen not to think on it too hard because they literally do not care.

    If you had run into Mary…goddamn.

    Or even Joyce or Becky! Well I guess maybe not JUST Becky. Becky would have to wait for Joyce’s reaction to catch on.

    • Urukak
      Urukak
      March 29, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

      Nah, Becky’d just be like: “HA! I knew it was a secret girlfriend. High five!”

      • Cynthia
        Cynthia
        March 29, 2015 at 1:25 am | #

        http://www.derekloudermilk.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/borat.jpg

    • brasca1
      brasca1
      March 29, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

      I was a little worried that she was seen by Mary until I saw the freckles and knew it was Rachel.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      March 29, 2015 at 1:24 am | #

      I have had mornings like this. Billie has all my sympathies.

  27. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    March 29, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

    As a person from Toronto…

    Boooo This Billie!

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      March 29, 2015 at 1:26 am | #

      Hmm. On the one hand, I want to mock you, because it would be funny. On the other hand, I remember what it was like when my team sucked, and the Leafs are the only Canadian team whose name I consistently remember (not much of a sports fan) so I tend to root for them by default.
      …have a digitally delivered friendly shoulder-punch?

  28. zmm
    zmm
    March 29, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

    SMOOOOTHHHHHH

    whups.. though honestly I don’t see either of those two remotel carrying as long as they themselves didn’t get in trouble or something

  29. KJ
    KJ
    March 29, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

    So what exactly is the team of choice for Hoosiers? Bloomington looks nearly equidistant from Chicago, Columbus, St. Louis, and Nashville.

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      March 29, 2015 at 6:32 pm | #

      Are you kidding? The home of the Indianoplace Dolts, the Indiana Hosers, the Indiana Displacers and, most importantly, Perdon’t University? It’s the Leafs in Hockey and the Cubs in baseball. Of course.

  30. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    March 29, 2015 at 1:23 am | #

    What a silly Billie… 😀

  31. The Thing
    The Thing
    March 29, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

    “Oh, so you’re a Redskins fan?”

    “Yup.”

    “But don’t you–”

    “Nope.”

  32. nothri
    nothri
    March 29, 2015 at 1:36 am | #

    “Of course I like the leafs….girlfriend gives me victory sex!”

    • Dragonfire
      Dragonfire
      March 29, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

      I’d feel bad for anyone whose sex life is based on that particular metric.

      • John
        John
        March 29, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

        Billie and Ruth are more into the defeat sex, so it works out.

        • Orbit Junkie
          Orbit Junkie
          March 29, 2015 at 4:12 pm | #

          De-feet sex? I didn’t realize they were that kinky.

    • A Scientist
      A Scientist
      March 29, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

      Well, that doesn’t happen very often…

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 29, 2015 at 9:56 am | #

      Must be a platonic relationship… 🙂

  33. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    March 29, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

    Way to be stealthy, genius.

  34. Solenoid
    Solenoid
    March 29, 2015 at 2:10 am | #

    So, given the title of this storyline… Things could get a bit worse considering the Billie & Ruth plot.

  35. Boomer Gonzales
    Boomer Gonzales
    March 29, 2015 at 2:17 am | #

    I have issue with your poll good sir!!

    There is not an option to see a bisexual three-way between Danny, Amber/Amazigirl, and Ethan with Ethan and Amber being the bread to a Danny Sandwich. Though I may be in a vast minority, I would look upon this kindly if this were rectified. Thank you, a good day, and I love your work.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      March 29, 2015 at 6:25 am | #

      Willis’ slipshines are canon so he doesn’t draw things that will never happen.

      • Em
        Em
        March 29, 2015 at 5:45 pm | #

        True, true, Ethan wouldn’t be a piece of bread, he’d be the filling.

        I do agree though, I don’t think this would be a canonical thing that happened. I don’t see Ethan wanting to have sex with a woman, and I don’t see Amber wanting this to happen at all. As for Danny…man I don’t know. He’s too confused right now for me to have a good grasp on what he would actually be okay with.

        • Em
          Em
          March 29, 2015 at 5:46 pm | #

          In terms of a man man woman threesome.

  36. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    March 29, 2015 at 3:18 am | #

    It’s entirely possible to wake up drunk. It’s not so much about how much you drank the night before: it’s how much you drank for many many nights before.
    My ex managed this trick often in the final years we were together. It gets hard to tell when a dedicated drinker is drunk, many navigate just fine while completely hungover/drunk-enough so to go to work every day and carry on like almost normal. (see above).

  37. 6Qubed
    6Qubed
    March 29, 2015 at 3:34 am | #

    possible new gravatar/self-rendering, panel 4

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 29, 2015 at 1:30 pm | #

      Maybe Panel 5 Billie too. Hmmm, food for thought…

  38. Aegon01
    Aegon01
    March 29, 2015 at 3:51 am | #

    I actually heard a laugh track at the punchline.

  39. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    March 29, 2015 at 3:56 am | #

    “Some other folks who we know have canonically done it ”

    vague enough, you have my vote.

  40. Nono
    Nono
    March 29, 2015 at 5:22 am | #

    All aboard the Rachel gets more development train!

  41. Megatron
    Megatron
    March 29, 2015 at 6:02 am | #

    Changing factions is hard.

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 29, 2015 at 12:12 pm | #

      I don’t know, I hear 1 Megsy did it. I’m guessing that’s not you?

  42. gavin
    gavin
    March 29, 2015 at 6:09 am | #

    Am I the only one who read the last panel as “Typical Lesbian.”

  43. GL
    GL
    March 29, 2015 at 6:20 am | #

    It was 4-1!

  44. digitrev
    digitrev
    March 29, 2015 at 7:02 am | #

    Damn you, Willis, for posting this the day after the Leafs beat the Sens!

  45. ATN
    ATN
    March 29, 2015 at 7:09 am | #

    Maple Leafs fan? Do they even exist?

    • Lel
      Lel
      March 29, 2015 at 8:00 am | #

      I take it you’ve never been to Toronto. The hype train has no brakes.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      March 29, 2015 at 1:47 pm | #

      They exist by the millions. I used to be one back in the ’60s.

  46. Gangler
    Gangler
    March 29, 2015 at 7:23 am | #

    Dad says that’s the difference between a Habs fan and a Leafs fan. Habs fans root for their team, but mostly they just wanna see how far they get this year. We know the Habs aren’t one of the major players. Leafs fans though, every year they’re convinced that this is gonna be the year they win The Stanley Cup.

    • LordHaw
      LordHaw
      March 29, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

      I’d be happy if the Leafs just made the playoffs for once. But I am realistic…I know they suck.

  47. fni
    fni
    March 29, 2015 at 9:41 am | #

    the montréal canadiens are better
    (and yes, in english it’s spelled canadiens instead of canadians because they’re from québec)

  48. Les
    Les
    March 29, 2015 at 10:35 am | #

    New variant of the walk of shame?

  49. brumagem
    brumagem
    March 29, 2015 at 12:15 pm | #

    Just give Mary John the Baptist Ruth’s head on a platter why don’t you.

  50. Chubomik
    Chubomik
    March 29, 2015 at 2:34 pm | #

    Third panel Billie would make a nice gravatar. Reminds me of Looney Tunes.

  51. Ashley
    Ashley
    March 29, 2015 at 2:38 pm | #

    Billie, you are adorbz.

  52. Vangeln
    Vangeln
    March 29, 2015 at 2:55 pm | #

    Hey Ruth, I didn’t know you were a Dragon’s cheerleader.

  53. halcyon1234
    halcyon1234
    March 29, 2015 at 4:43 pm | #

    Q: How can you tell Dumbing of Age takes place in “every year”?
    A: The Leafs are losing.

  54. Em
    Em
    March 29, 2015 at 5:41 pm | #

    So if the next slipshine will be Sal and Jason, will it line up with the story, or do you think it will just be one of the times that Sal and Jason got it on?

  55. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    March 29, 2015 at 6:58 pm | #

    Billie: not good at plan.

  56. maycroft
    maycroft
    March 29, 2015 at 7:39 pm | #

    Saved by sports fanatism.

  57. Spencer
    Spencer
    March 29, 2015 at 8:20 pm | #

    We’re gearing up for another Mary appearance, aren’t we?

  58. Trolldrool
    Trolldrool
    March 29, 2015 at 8:32 pm | #

    For some reason the lightheartedness of this page made me realize we never got to see Joe get lectured in class.

  59. Vil
    Vil
    March 29, 2015 at 11:02 pm | #

    Can we get the second to last panel without the speech bubbles? Because it will look awesome.

  60. Architex
    Architex
    March 30, 2015 at 1:49 am | #

    I love love love Billie’s various expressions in this strip!

  61. B.D
    B.D
    March 30, 2015 at 2:03 am | #

    The heck? Either Sierra’s suddenly a couple of inches shorter, or Billie is wearing boots. …or it’s forced perspective.

  62. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    March 30, 2015 at 9:34 am | #

    Typical Leafs fan.

  63. Benjy
    Benjy
    March 30, 2015 at 12:44 pm | #

    Rachel kind of looks like a darker-haired Dani from Rescue Bots. Or vise-versa.

  64. spiffiestjester
    spiffiestjester
    March 31, 2015 at 7:40 am | #

    SO much of this is true. About the Leaf’s fan stuff anyways…

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